How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved: Describes 8 Types of Dangerous Men, Gives Defense Strategies and a Red Alert Checklist for Each, and Includes Stories of Successes and Failures

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Excellent content, professional; easy to find info

How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before you get Involvd

eye opener

Yikes! I'm so glad I read this book!

"Truth is light"
How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved: Describes 8 Types of Dangerous Men, Gives Defense Strategies and a Red Alert Checklist for Each, and Includes Stories of Successes and Failures
Sandra L. Brown
Manufacturer: Hunter House
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Domestic Violence | Abuse & Self Defense | Mental Health | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
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How to Spot a Dangerous Man Workbook: A Survival Guide for Women

Red Flags: How to Know When You're Dating a Loser

101 Lies Men Tell Women -- And Why Women Believe Them

The Manipulative Man: Identify His Behavior, Counter the Abuse, Regain Control

Lose That Loser and Find the Right Guy: Stop Falling for Mr. Unavailable, Mr. Unreliable, Mr. Bad Boy, Mr. Needy, Mr. Married Man, and Mr. Sex Maniac

ASIN: 0897934474

Book Description

What is a dangerous man? Most women would answer: one who is physically violent. But abusive behavior is often more insidious. Men who want mothers, not partners, who prey on lonely, passive women, who are mentally ill, addicted, or emotionally unavailable, or who won't go away when asked to leave all fall into this dangerous category. In this book women are encouraged to take responsibility for their own safety, are shown how to choose men wisely, and learn how not to make the same mistake twice. Thirteen chapters cover all the red flags of a dangerous man, offer stories of women's successes and failures dealing with each type, and provide safe ways to get out of a hazardous relationship. Armed with this valuable information, women have the tools they need to cultivate positive and healthy relationships with men.

Customer Reviews:

Excellent content, professional; easy to find info.......2007-07-14

Wish this book was out years ago! Very good regarding subtle signs (as well as obvious) early in the relationship. Love the Red Alert Checklists.
This is NOT a "man bashing" book, the author invites us to look at ourselves as well. Describes some behaviors that women may have that attract a dangerous man.

How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before you get Involvd.......2007-05-26

This book showed me what I was doing wrong, and it enabled to to avoid other dangerous men - it greatly changed my life. Thanks!

eye opener.......2007-05-19

Sometimes we avoid stress by keeping ourself in the dark....however learn that it takes more energy to move around in the dark than the light. The more we know, the brighter the light...the brighter the light the easier it is not to trip on the trash on the floor. The men have issues...we may as gentle women learn to forgive them spiritually, however their behavior is "Trash" and they are acting as if they do not understand the word "Respect"...they don't. The sad part is...the absolute saddest part is...they don't get it....and you cannot teach a person to have a conscious...reading this book helps the light become bright and your life to be easier rather than more stressful. Once you read this you can identify it is "them" with the problem...and your only problem was "Believing in them" and taking their lies for truth. This book does uncover hurtful truths...however a truth is a truth and is there whether you want to believe it or not.

Yikes! I'm so glad I read this book!.......2007-03-07

If you've ever wondered if you're the "crazy one," or why you seem to attract losers, this is a very insightful book.

This book opened my eyes to what a bad situation I was in, and just how bad it could end up. I always suspected that some of the guys I've dated had mental problems but would talk myself out of it. Now I see how important it is to trust these initial red flags and uneasy feelings. Even if your guy is not pathological, if you've got red flags and discomfort, this book wisely advises you to get out fast and why. The unfortunate thing about these dangerous men is that they are so charming, affectionate, intelligent, and desirable at first, that you are long-since hooked before the creep in them emerges. This book gives practical advice for how to recognize potential issues before you're hooked and his personality has changed.

For anyone who's skeptical, no, I did not think this was a male-bashing book or "any guy could fit into those categories." Not so. It even gives a list of traits to look for when analyzing whether yours is a healthy or unhealthy relationship.

It's a quick read and well worth it.

"Truth is light".......2007-01-28

How to Spot a Dangerous Man is a compelling, forthright, no non-sense book which will help the open-minded reader face her relationship/insecurity (among other things) demons. Ms. Brown not only discusses the how's, the why's, but offers insight on how to stop the madness. I just purchased four additional copies to pass on to my daughters and the workbook for myself.

The fact that professional women, older women, previously hurt women are continually falling for dangerous men is eye-opening. The facts are not to be ignored; IF, you want to do something different.

I highly recommend this book for ALL women; young and old.

Average customer rating:

Great New Heroine
Another Winner
Not that great
It was ok.....
Another Great Book

A Dangerous Love
Bertrice Small
Manufacturer: NAL Trade
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 0451219783

Book Description

From the New York Times bestseller Bertrice Small-first in an exhilarating new historical romance series

Adair Radcliffe is only a child when her family perishes in the War of the Roses, so her real father, the womanizing King Edward IV, takes her in, honoring his promise to her mother. Once Adair turns sixteen, the king marries her off without her knowledge-and to her later outrage- in a wedding by proxy. But when tragedy leaves her a widow twice over, Adair realizes that her already tenuous social position has sunk even lower. Now, all she can do is hope that the Scottish laird to whom she is sold will have mercy on her. But little does master or servant suspect that love knows no rank.

Customer Reviews:

Great New Heroine.......2007-05-09

Beatrice Small is one my favorite authors, and I literally consume her books. I've read every one she has written, and have never read one I didn't like. The Heroine Adair in this story, although English born, kind of reminds me a little bit of Skye O'Malley.

Another Winner.......2007-05-08

I think this book is another example of Ms. Small's wonderful skill! All the history and the romance make a great read! I've read almost all her books and she keeps me coming back for more. Thank you Bertrice Small.

Not that great.......2007-04-25

I am new to the worlds of Bertice Small. This is the first book of hers that I have read. And I have to admit to being very disappointed. She's written a huge collection of books, so she is obviously an experienced author, however I found her dialog to be stilted and the characters to be somewhat unsympathetic. Starting with the fact that Adair name drops at every opportunity that she is the bastard daughter of King Edward. I loved it when she finally met Conal, and tried that line out on him, and he said (paraphrasing) - well, you weren't born of King Edward's Queen, so get over yourself.

My feeling is that either this is an old fashioned sort of romance novel, or that Ms. Small is writing more of an historical angle to the story than a romance angle. There is a lot about characters from the War of the Roses, but you'd sort of have to have a history book beside you, or go to Wikipedia, to follow along with where Adair fits into the catalog of characters and events. Elizabeth of York, for example, I needed to go look her up. Then I had one of those moments as a reader, where you're hitting the palm of your hand with your forehead. She's pregnant, but gets on the same horse with her husband - so you can imagine there is not a lot of room in the saddle - to ride to her wedding day.

anyway - Ms. Small has a reputation, so I'll try one or two more of her books before I give up.

It was ok............2007-01-12

I'm still hoping she writes something similar to skye O' malley though!

Another Great Book.......2007-01-11

I have been reading Bertrice books since I was 13 years old and this one was up to snuff with all the others. She ties in nicely characters that she may have written about in previous books and it is always great to learn a bit of history as you read of the internal strength of women.

A Dangerous Love (Swanlea Spinsters, Book 1)

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Unlikeable Heroine
The Best Characters
The heroine ruined it for me....
1st book of Swanlea Spinster Series
Three sisters, two men......and Shakespeare

A Dangerous Love (Swanlea Spinsters, Book 1)
Sabrina Jeffries
Manufacturer: Avon
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Mass Market Paperback

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Accessories:

philosophy hope in a jar daily moisturizer

ASIN: 0380809281
Release Date: 2006-03-28

Book Description

He was playing a dangerous masquerade...Griff Knighton's found the perfect way to avoid being trapped into marriage with one of the Earl of Swanlea's daughters: he'll swap identities with his man of affairs during their next visit to Swan Park, and be free to pursue his own desires! After all, he's not about to marry some homely spinster just to claim his rightful title. But Griff didn't reckon on the brazen, voluptuous Rosalind, who could tempt even a saint into sinning, and Griff is no saint. She was determined to unmask him...

Customer Reviews:

Unlikeable Heroine.......2007-05-12

Echoing the reviews of other readers, I could not get myself to finish this book because the heroine was so unlikeable. I think the author was trying to make her out to be a very strong female character with her "Amazon" body but she turned out to just be plain annoying. And somehow, the hero finds her annoying personality intriguing, along with her "Amazon" body...

The addition of making the main characters quote Shakespeare to each other in every other chapter was also extremely cheesy...

The Best Characters.......2006-10-02

Griff is the owner of a huge shipping company that he founded and built from nothing. He has always been called a bastard because his parents marriage certificate was stolen by a jealous cousin who then was named heir upon his father's death. Years later, that cousin is dying and wants Griff to marry one of his daughters since he never had sons and is dangling the proof of his parents marriage and a chance to be the earl as bait. Griff decides he will not be trapped into marriage and comes up with a plan to get the certificate and become earl without marriage. He switches places with his man of affairs Daniel and tries to search the house for the certificate while Daniel is busy with the sisters. What Griff didn't count on was the middle Swanlea sister, Rosalind. Rosalind is a very strong woman who is running the estate for her father. The sisters are unaware of their father's treachery and believe the cousin is a legitimate heir. The older sister Helena is maimed by illness and doesn't believe she will ever marry. The youngest sister Juliet is determined to marry the cousin so that the girls may stay at Swanlea. However, Juliet is terrified of the huge cousin "Daniel". Rosalind is determined that the sisters will marry only for love and decides she will turn her cousin against marriage. Rosalind is suspicious of "Griff' her cousins' man of affairs and follows him around the estate making it hard for him to look for the certificate. Rosalind and Griff find themselves attracted to one another (they are both stubborn and share a love of Shakespeare)but neither one will back down. When Daniel realizes the attraction, he urges Griff to forget his plans of revenge and just marry Rosalind. Griff cannot let go of the hurt he has suffered for years and thinks the certificate will help him succeed in business. He wants to find a way to get his revenge and keep Rosalind.

This story was wonderful. The characters were great. The chemistry was sizzling. Never boring and sometimes funny, sometimes sensual. I recommend this book to anyone.

The heroine ruined it for me...........2006-09-19

Of the six books I have read by Sabrina Jeffries this is the only one I haven't liked. I have adored all the others. And I love, love, love her style.

Rosalind was the most annoying heroine I have ever come across. Between her and the "ultra bitter" older sister the book was ruined for me. I really like strong female characters, but this woman really got on my nerves.

Three stars because Ms. Jeffries is a truly talented writer.

1st book of Swanlea Spinster Series.......2006-05-08

A Dangerous Love by Sabrina Jeffries is the first of the Swanlea Spinster Series. Griff Knighton pretends to be his friend Daniel (his man of affairs) so he can search an Swanlea estate for proof that he is an real Earl. Rosalind balks at the plan to marry her off to Knighton. The story is sweet with some great twist and excellent love scenes. The order of the Swanlea Spinster is A Dangerous Love (#1) The Dangerous Lord (#2) and After the Abduction (#3), Dance of Seduction (#4) and Married to the Viscount (#5).

Three sisters, two men......and Shakespeare.......2005-07-17

This is the first book in a series by Sabrina Jeffries about the Swanlea Spinsters, three sisters that feel no need or desire to marry. This is the story of Rosalind Laverick the middle child of a dying man, who invites Griff Knighton to come and marry one of his daughters. She doesn't know that there is more to this story than her father lets on.

Griff finds this to be the perfect opportunity to find the proof that will help him prove that he is not the bastard that everyone thinks that he is. So, he swaps identities with his man of affairs so he can snoop about the estate without having to worry about three spinsters vying for his attention. When he arrives he never thought that these three beautiful women were spinsters, especially the one who holds him at swordpoint when she finds him snooping in her father's study.

With lots of sexual tension and plenty of Shakespeare quotes, this makes a great beginning to this series. I can't wait to read Daniel's story with Helena, I know that it will be twice as great as this one. Only a few things that I found tedious in this book. The use of the word Griffin to describe how much Griff is like a griffin got very repetitive. Plus the use of the word St.Peter to describe a man's....you know... was repetitious. But that's only minor details in a great story that is filled with love. The hero is to die for, everything that should be in a character is in this one. Rosalinde is sort of "too" strong at some times. But, I recommend this one for fans of regency romance, and any other Sabrina Jeffries book. Don't miss it.

How to Spot a Dangerous Man Workbook: A Survival Guide for Women

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How to spot a dangerous man workbook

How to Spot a Dangerous Man Workbook: A Survival Guide for Women
Sandra L. Brown
Manufacturer: Hunter House
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 0897934520

Book Description

What is a dangerous man? Most women would answer: one who is physically violent. But abusive behavior is often more insidious. Men who want mothers, not partners, who prey on lonely, passive women, who are mentally ill, addicted, or emotionally unavailable, or who won't go away when asked to leave all fall into this dangerous category. Most women who have dated one dangerous man have in fact dated two or three, according to research. How to Spot a Dangerous Man Workbook, designed for use with the author's book How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved, contains useful exercises from the author's highly successful workshops for women, including 22 worksheets and quizzes to help readers develop their own personalized list of "do not date" characteristics. The author’s extensive research in this field makes this hands-on guide an important aid in both avoiding a potentially dangerous involvement and recognizing — and getting out of — an existing one.

Customer Reviews:

How to spot a dangerous man workbook.......2007-01-09

I think it is a must read if you want to brake the circle of having the same men in your life who lead to the same dead ends time after time. I lost 20 years in the dating game. This book showed me why... :-)

I am able to deal with men and myself differently all together and can already see that I benefit. I was able to spot a few "dangerous" men quite quickly into getting to know them. I didn't say much, they just got lost. I was also able to walk away from potential hurt. I am happy about that.

I would like to suggest though that you read the book how to spot a dangerous man first before you attempt the workshop workbook. It did help me to do some of the exercises. What I mean is I did understand where the author came from and why she asked some questions...

Dangerous Duty of Delight: The Glorified God and the Satisfied Soul (LifeChange Books)

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Wordy but good
Duty redefined
Useful, perhaps, for the weak
A Word of Warning About Piper's Emphasis
Jesus is Not Safe!

Dangerous Duty of Delight: The Glorified God and the Satisfied Soul (LifeChange Books)
John Piper
Manufacturer: Multnomah
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

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ASIN: 1576738833
Release Date: 2001-10-10

Book Description

This compact 96-page book, drawn from Piper's popular Desiring God, emphasizes the importance of strengthening our relationship with our Creator by enjoying Him and His creation. The author's now classic ideas are presented here in an accessible size that will allow readers to absorb and apply them quickly -- leading them to a dramatically different and joyful experience of their faith. Filled with biblical reasons for living a life of celebration, this life-changing read helps people discover not only why but how to delight more fully in the Lord.

Jesus is not safe, but He is satisfying!

Each of us has a restlessness, an inconsolable longing within. Some try to satisfy it with scenic vacations, creative accomplishments, huge cinematic productions, sexual exploits, sports extravaganzas, hallucinogenic drugs, ascetic rigors, managerial excellence, and more. Yet our longing remains. Why?

John Piper turns your heart towards the one true Object of human desire – God. He shows how fulfilling your duty to delight in Him can change your attitude toward worship, toward marriage, toward material goods, toward your very mission and purpose on earth! Join him on a journey from desperate desire to infinite delight!

Customer Reviews:

Wordy but good.......2007-08-01

Could have been said in half the space, but it presents a good concept. Well worth reading.

Duty redefined.......2007-03-15

"Dangerous Duty . . .", Piper's brief summary of his "Desiring God" is a perfect starting point for those wanting to share the doctrine of "delight in God" but fear those they want to share it with are not ready to wade into the depths of the fountain of truth flowing from the longer book. I highly recommend it, first, for Staff devotions, at all evangelical churches. Pastors, here is the motivation - if your staff and, by overflow, your flock grows healthy by chewing on the truth that delight in God's glory yields soul-saturating joy for those who delight, then you have the kind of maturity which grows the church and works you out of a job (because the sheep can care for other sheep, the sheep can evangelize and disciple, the sheep can teach, the sheep can lead other sheep) - which ought to be the goal of all pastors who develop their flocks to Christlikeness.

Useful, perhaps, for the weak.......2005-12-16

This is short booklet that says we should follow God because it feels good and the alternative is nasty. There is nothing here about "death to self," putting off the old man, realizing that "I no longer live, but Christ lives in me," or any of the other staples of traditional Christian spirituality. It is self-centered, self-aggrandizing spirituality.

How on earth did John Piper ever become an evangelical superstar? I've read material from Piper and organizations of which he is a prominent member (e.g., The Council for Biblical Man and Womanhood) that are just plain moronic and flagrantly heretical. For example, an article on the CBMW web site called "God's Plan for Authority" says that God is glorified when everyone has a boss, but dishonored when people relate to each other as equals. As proof, he says that plants have authority over dirt! How did a sloppy thinker who openly flirts with fascist ideas become a great spiritual guru?

A Word of Warning About Piper's Emphasis.......2005-06-21

This is a general comment on Piper's books. I deeply appreciate the work of John Piper--especially his emphasis on missions and on living God-centered, Christ-exalting lives of worship. And I am Augustinian, so I love Piper's theology and am thrilled that he has become so popular. But I do want to provide a warning. Piper's main emphasis is (and you'll read this over and over again) "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied (or delighted) in Him." This is a biblical and wonderful proposition that Piper became aware of through the writings of Jonathan Edwards. And to Edwards, this was one small part of his theology.

But Piper has taken this idea, which he calls "Christian Hedonism," and built his whole life and ministry around it. The problem is that if you read enough Piper, you will begin to focus on the FEELING of being delighted in Christ, rather than on Christ Himself. And when your feelings don't match what you want them to be, you will become disheartened. (And let's face it, few of us have the emotional intensity of John Piper.) At that point, your feelings (of being delighted in God) become the object of your desires and, thus, an idol. Yes, they are feelings TOWARD God--but those feelings are NOT GOD. And when the focus of your life has become your emotions, it has deceptively become an idol.

I know Piper fights against this tendency. But I'm afraid he is often unsuccessful. The fact is, the Christian life is not going to be one of unending joy in God. Read the Psalms to see how often the psalmists cry out in agony and desperation and sadness to the Lord. Read Romans 7 to find out how tough and discouraging the Christian life can really be.

According to Piper, our happiness in God should be the driving motivation in our life. But when Christians are inevitably not overflowing with delight in God, then under Piper's framework, the only solution is to seek that feeling of joy rather than just do our duty. There are times when duty and obligation (which Piper hates) are the only motivations for the Christian to be obedient and live a life of faith. I agree wholeheartedly with Piper that delight in God is a much better motivation for the Christian than duty. But when that delight is not there, we still must be faithful and obedient, and we can't always wait on our feelings to drive us on toward the prize.

Read Piper's books. And enjoy his passionate and Christ-exalting preaching. But beware and repent when your emotions--rather than the Triune God Himself--become the focus of your life.

Jesus is Not Safe!.......2003-06-18

from the back cover:

Jesus is Not Safe, but He is SATISFYING!

Each of us has a restlessness, an inconsolable longing within. Some try to satisfy it with scenic vacations, creative accomplishments, huge cinematic productions, sexual exploits, sports extravaganzas, hallucinogenic drugs, ascetic rigors, managerial excellence, and more.

Yet our longing remains.

Why?

John Piper turns your heart toward the one true Object of human desire - God.

He shows how fulfilling your duty to delight in Him can change your attitude toward worship, toward marriage, toward material goods, toward your very mission and purpose on earth! Join him on a journey from desperate desire to infinite delight!

Amazon.com

If you think that jealousy is simply a neurosis or merely a manifestation of insecurity, then reading David Buss's The Dangerous Passion may change your opinion. Buss asserts that jealousy is an adaptive behavior, albeit an imperfect one, which helped our human ancestors cope with reproductive threats. Buss uses examples from insect and primate populations, as well as Hollywood, to help illustrate the evolutionary concepts discussed. Building on his previous book, The Evolution of Desire, on the gender differences in mate selection, Buss argues for a coevolutionary cycle based on concealment and detection (jealousy) between the genders in their drive to optimize reproductive success.

Although pathological aspects of jealousy--battering, stalking, and killing--are argued to be the result of adaptive responses, they are in no way defended as acceptable or natural behavior. Buss indicates that it is his hope that by understanding the forces that shaped jealousy we can better cope with its effects--positive or negative. --Irwin S. Hirsh

Book Description

Why do men and women cheat on each other? How do men really feel when their partners have sex with other men? What worries women more -- men who turn to other women for love or men who simply want sexual variety in their lives? Can the jealousy husbands and wives experience over real or imagined infidelities be cured? Should it be? In this surprising and engaging exploration of men's and women's darker passions, David Buss, acclaimed author of The Evolution of Desire, reveals that both men and women are actually designed for jealousy. Drawing on experiments, surveys, and interviews conducted in thirty-seven countries on six continents, as well as insights from recent discoveries in biology, anthropology, and psychology, Buss discovers that the evolutionary origins of our sexual desires still shape our passions today.

According to Buss, more men than women want to have sex with multiple partners. Furthermore, women who cheat on their husbands do so when they are most likely to conceive, but have sex with their spouses when they are least likely to conceive. These findings show that evolutionary tendencies to acquire better genes through different partners still lurk beneath modern sexual behavior. To counteract these desires to stray -- and to strengthen the bonds between partners -- jealousy evolved as an early detection system of infidelity in the ancient and mysterious ritual of mating.

Buss takes us on a fascinating journey through many cultures, from pre-historic to the present, to show the profound evolutionary effect jealousy has had on all of us. Only with a healthy balance of jealousy and trust can we be certain of a mate's commitment, devotion, and true love.

Download Description

Why do husbands and wives stray? Are we born polygamous or do we become unfaithful as we age? Do men and women experience jealousy differently? Which is more threatening: sexual or emotional infidelity? In The Dangerous Passion evolutionary psychologist David Buss zooms in on men's and women's different sexual cues and styles -- and the strong emotions they trigger -- as he explains why we get together and stay together, against all odds.

Backing his opinions with the most comprehensive survey ever undertaken (in thirty-seven countries on six continents), case studies, and the latest scientific discoveries from psychology, anthropology, and archaeology, Buss explains why men and women usually misread each other's desires and passions. And he shows how although jealousy, at its extreme, is a volatile emotion that can cause violence, even death, its absence leaves couples emotionally and sexually adrift. Nature has made sure, Buss concludes, that only with a healthy balance of jealousy and trust can we feel certain of our mate's love, commitment, and devotion.

Customer Reviews:

Good analysis, somewhat redundant, but incisive........2004-10-16

I don't know which book was written first, but this book features a bit of conceptual overlap with his other book, "The Evolution Of Desire." Additionally, Buss seems to like to sometimes pad his writing by overexplaining certain concepts, overexpounding, and/or repeating himself. I get the feeling at times he is trying to fill out the book.

Having got that out of the way, I still believe he is an excellent author. I am pleased to read an author who has the gall to resist the tide of political correctness which infects most pop psychologists, and who instead writes from a flatly evolutionary, analytical standpoint. His focus on the historical development of our animalistic tendencies, needs, and wants, is often quite incisive. His observations, both in this book and the one mentioned above, seem quite intuititive to me.

I particularly enjoy the way he often legitimizes his viewpoints by backing them up with cross-cultural evidence, especially when he references some of the bizarre and brutal practices which take place in primitive cultures. His statistics prevent the reader from coming to suspect that he is just some lazy, armchair pseudointellectual psychologist who is merely sitting around chewing on a pipe, theorizing and abstracting--it reminds us that he is a scientist who has done his homework. Given the controversial nature of some of these concepts, I believe he knew this practice was necessary.

Once again, intuitive writing. I can scarcely recall a concept from either book which I flatly disagreed with. When you're talking about jealousy in primitive cultures, you're talking jealousy latent in first world humans as well. You are talking about pervasive commonalities in human nature, thus you're talking about animal nature. And if you're talking about animal nature, a good scientist can pinpoint it. Buss is that scientist for jealousy and desire. I just wish he wouldn't apologize for some of his more controversial viewpoints on topics like the causes of battery and rape. Yeah, they're terrible things, but any person whose title ends in "-ologist" ought never have to apologize for thinking through problems, even if the outcome is cold, scientific, or unpopular.

One warning, if you enjoy the delusion of Snow White or Rapunzel type crap, this man will smash it for you. I personally am addicted to books such as this one, books which tinker with the workings of the mind, and the preconceptions of human nature. If you're like me and you don't really mind having your love life reduced to a negotiation between survival resources and reproductive value, if you prefer the truth inherent in evolutionary logic to storybook self-deceptions, then you ought to have this man's work on your shelf.

Let's face it, the Storybook people eventually get hit by a truck driven by themselves anyway.

right on the money.......2002-11-17

I first ordered this book to help me overcome jealousy. When I first started reading it, I soon found out the book explains jealousy and why it exists, rather than teaching you how to overcome it. I learned that my jealous feelings were somewhat justified, and normal. This book was painfully truthful: it hit the nail on the head in regards to me marrital situation at the time.

Justifying male violence? even though he abhors it.......2001-09-13

I recently read 'The Red Queen' and 'Why is Sex Fun?' and I was disappointed in both with their justifications of sexual behaviour as evolutionarily driven. These book suggest that sex is fun to make sure we keep having it, and thus perpetuate the species. And male and female sexual behaviour is justified (if it needs it) so that individuals can promote their own specific genetic material. This is all back-to-front to me - we are here because sex is fun (well, partly - it may be that we would have been here anyway, there is no way of knowing, but the fact that other species are here when 'fun' is not a concept we expect them to experience suggests 'fun' is not necessarily a primary requirement). To me it seems that our individual behaviour is for our individual pleasure (which extends beyond our bodies and in extreme cases maybe in exclusion to our bodies).

There is a 'law' of science called Occam's Razor - the simplest explanation is to be preferred over more complex ones. On page 123 Mr Buss explains the EHMT proposal to explain why jealousy (or more exactly infidelity - this book is almost exclusively about infidelity - not jealousy) sometimes leads to homicide. EHMT clearly fails Occam's Razor, as does the opposing theory called 'slip-ups'. It's simple to me. When people have pleasures withdrawn they get angry and anger sometimes leads to violence which sometimes leads to homicide. There is no need to propose elaborate theories to justify a particular proposal that our behaviour is an evolutionary function which controls our lives. Mr Buss ends up abhorring male violence but at the same time explains it is something that the individual can do nothing about - it's in their genes.

I wonder if this evolutionary theory for behaviour is a hangover from the time when we had to have a conscious planner as creator - God. A power that put purpose into every aspect of our existence. I have no trouble with God, but do not see any need for there to be a creator who designed every feature of our existence, which would include things like disease.

I much prefer to think that people act on the basis of threats to themselves rather than threats to their potential offspring.
Here are a few other points that I felt aggrieved with about the message proposed in this book:
Children are seen to be vital - the continuing of your dna into the next generation - but some parents abandon children, and parents of adopted and assisted-fertilisation children love their children as much as natural children
Far too often there are statements following a couple of anecdotes like 'These two anecdotes, of course, do not add up to scientific evidence.' (p166) I'm sure the average reader will be swayed nevertheless.

My view of this book is almost entirely negative and I hope I have shared some of my reasons with you so that you can avoid a disappointment. If you disagree with what I have written, go ahead and read the book - you may find it useful.

Interesting layperson read - not a good justification.......2000-11-09

An interesting look at why we are jealous from an evolutionary perspective. Find out why jealousy is necessary for reproductive success for both genders. How do men and women differently express their jealousy? Why are some of us more jealous than others? And why does jealousy vary from relationship to relationship?

This book does a good job at developing a theoretical framework for jealousy, and it also gives you tools to evaluate the possible biological causation of your possessiveness in relationship. I feel that this is where its biggest strength for me lies, as it allows me to think further and transcend the way my genes have evolved.

My only qualm with this book is that is dances the line of positive and normative science, going a bit too far to justify jealousy with evolutionary accounts. Don't let the naturalistic fallacy convince you that this sort of ugly behavior is okay.

"Necessary" from the POV of the genes..........2000-10-23

Jealousy exists, like love and sex, to help propagate an individual's genes. It is a mechanism of the species to help insure for males paternity, and for females that their offspring receive the benefit of male protection, support and guidance. Jealousy is not "necessary" (as the subtitle disinformationally suggests) in the same sense that sex per se is necessary; nor is it an emotion, like love, that we might want to retain, had we our druthers. Jealousy is the emotional downside of the sexual/reproductive strategies employed by humans. It is "necessary" in the same sense (although not to the same degree) that pain is necessary. Furthermore, in the environment we now find ourselves, as opposed to the prehistoric savannahs in which the mechanism of jealousy proved adaptive, it is unnecessary, and something we might want to understand and come to grips with in an attempt to lessen its hold on us.

But what this book is really about is infidelity, how and why it occurs, and what can be done to forestall it. In this context, jealousy (not envy which is directed at somebody who has something we want) is seen as an adaptive mechanism to protect the individual against a straying partner, either through heightened awareness or through inducing threats of reprisal, or through actual punishment of the infidel. Buss, a psychologist and author of the college text, Evolutionary Psychology: The New Science of the Mind, uses case histories from our culture and others and the results of personality inventories laced with humor to illustrate how the experience of jealousy leads to "mate guarding" and "mate retention tactics" that help the individual secure his or her position in the "mating market." As such jealousy is seen as a "signal" to both one's self (awakening one to the imminent danger of infidelity) and to one's partner (as a warning that one is on to the other's tricks). Consequently, Buss defines jealousy (p. 196) as "an adaptive signal of an impending threat to a primary love relationship." Included in this view is the understanding that infidelity, painful as it is, is a normal human behavior practiced by "as many as half of all married individuals."

The style here is easy and accessible to a wide range of readers. The material is light-hearted (inasmuch as such a serious subject can be) but without any pasting-over of the dangers of jealousy. Underpinning the exposition is a thorough knowledge of human sexuality as derived from biology and evolutionary psychology. Buss not only knows what he is talking about, but imparts the information in a manner that, chapter by chapter, leads the reader to a deep and satisfying understanding of infidelity and the mechanism of jealousy.

Along the way we learn some unsettling facts. For example, marital happiness has no effect on the instance of male infidelity. "In fact, 56 percent of the men who were having affairs judged their marriage to be very happy" (p. 146). Or that women pursue a sexual strategy including a "desire to stray" that "exists today solely because that's what benefitted ancestral women" (p. 159). We also learn which type of personality is likely to stray (pp. 148-151) and that the more attractive partners ("those...higher in mate value") are more likely to cheat (p. 143). Also interesting is the semi-obvious observation that women can attract a higher-ranked male on a one-night stand than as a husband (and so might), and that men will stoop to lower-ranked females for pure sex than those they choose for wives.

Buss devotes the last two chapters to coping mechanisms. He concludes with the fine observation that "knowledge...of our dangerous passions...will, in some small measure, give us the emotional wisdom to deal with them." This observation is what evolutionary psychology is all about, and why it is the emergent psychology of the twenty-first century.

Best joke (p. 185): At a therapist's gathering with a straying husband, his wife and the other woman, the wife informs the affairee that she is still sleeping with her husband, and that he has lied to both of them. "The affairee felt betrayed and stalked out, saying...that all men betray their wives, but only a real asshole would betray his girlfriend." Buss adds, "Therapy was unsuccessful in this case."

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Alpha Male - Who doesn't love 'em?

true to romance!

and...???

Wow!

Dangerous Lover
Dangerous Lover (Avon Red)
Lisa Marie Rice
Manufacturer: Avon Red
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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Midnight Angel (Midnight Series, Book 3)

Woman on the Run

Midnight Run (Midnight Series, Book 2)

Forbidden Pleasure (Bound Hearts, Book 8)

Hidden Agendas (Tempting SEALs, Book 4)

ASIN: 0061208590
Release Date: 2007-07-31

Book Description

"I don't want to be alone tonight."

Caroline Lake can hardly believe she would ever say these words to someone she'd never met before. When a tall, dark stranger arrives wanting to rent a room in her beautiful empty shell of a mansion, she hesitates. Though she is in dire financial straits, the man looks dangerous—dangerously sexy. She's overwhelmed by the desire he sparks in her—hotter than anything she's ever felt before, making her ache to experience his sensuous touch. But who is this armed and mysterious man with danger following in his wake? He's not who she thinks he is . . .

Jack Prescott has wanted Caroline forever. He has spent the past twelve years dreaming of her, desiring her, while fighting in some of the worst hellholes on earth. Now he's back, with twenty million dollars in blood diamonds and a relentless enemy stalking him. But this time Jack's determined that nothing will stop him from finally making Caroline his.

Customer Reviews:

Alpha Male - Who doesn't love 'em?.......2007-09-26

I have enjoyed all of Ms. Rice, very similar of her "Midnight Series". Hero hiding his shared past from the heroine, taking and loving her, but also bring danger. Heroine delicate, but a fight/survior (I did tear a little at her story) strangely pulled to the hero.
If you like lot sex and overprotective males with a heart of gold of course you'll enjoy any of Ms. Rice books.
I do agree some type of epilogue about the couple would have been an added bonus, but still worth the price.

true to romance!.......2007-09-07

i have loved this writer since i discovered her 2 years.my all time favorite of hers is ms rice's midnight series[ie midnight man/midnight run/midnight angel]and she had a few shorts in the secrets red sage anthologies.she retains the romance in her stories,has intriguing&interesting looks for her heroes instead of the stale tall dark&handsome.there is hot love making but no porn which most erotic writers mistakenly write.don't misss this book.it grabs the heart.....

and...???.......2007-09-04

2.5 - 3 STARS.....................................................................I heard about this author and picked this title up...the set-up was good...good build up and then blahhhhhhhhh...but what a let down!!!...where's the interaction...what are her memories about him?...what was her reaction when he tells his side???????...really sadly disappointed...I've heard a lot about the Midnight series and hope those are better...

Wow!.......2007-08-25

I've read only a few books in the "erotic romance/thriller" genres and found most of them to be pretty silly and not particularly well-written. This book is unlike most of what I read as you can see by looking at my reviews posted here. I won't sum up the plot again - I will just say two things:

1 - I read it non-stop and was fully entertained by a superbly crafted story

2 - I've just ordered 4 more of her books and hope they get here before I fly off on holiday!

This author is a real find and I am delighted to have found her!

Dangerous Lover.......2007-08-24

Have always loved Lisa Marie Rice's books in the Midnite series. This book didn't change my mind at all about being a great read!

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Sweet, witty and dangerous
The "Slightly" series by Mary Balogh
The heroine is just too silly to believe
Quizzing Glass???
mary balogh another brillant book

Slightly Dangerous (Balogh, Mary)
Mary Balogh
Manufacturer: Delacorte Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

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ASIN: 0385338112
Release Date: 2004-06-01

Book Description

All of London is abuzz over the imminent arrival of Wulfric Bedwyn, the reclusive, cold-as-ice Duke of Bewcastle, at the most glittering social event of the season. Some whisper of a tragic love affair. Others say he is so aloof and passionless that not even the greatest beauty could capture his attention. But on this dazzling afternoon, one woman did catch the duke’s eye—and she was the only female in the room who wasn’t even trying. Christine Derrick is intrigued by the handsome duke…all the more so when he invites her to become his mistress.

What red-blooded woman wouldn’t enjoy a tumble in the bedsheets with a consummate lover—with no strings and no questions asked. An infuriating lady with very definite views on men, morals, and marriage, Christine confounds Wulfric at every turn. Yet even as the lone wolf of the Bedwyn clan vows to seduce her any way he can, something strange and wonderful is happening. Now for a man who thought he’d never lose his heart, nothing less than love will do.

With her trademark wit, riveting storytelling, and sizzling sexual sparks, Mary Balogh once again brings together two polar opposites: an irresistible, high-and-mighty aristocrat and the impulsive, pleasure-loving woman who shows him what true passion is all about. A man and a woman so wrong for each other, it can result only in the perfect match.

Download Description

All of London is abuzz over the imminent arrival of Wulfric Bedwyn, the reclusive, cold-as-ice Duke of Bewcastle, at the most glittering social event of the season. Some whisper of a tragic love affair. Others say he is so aloof and passionless that not even the greatest beauty could capture his attention. But on this dazzling afternoon, one woman did catch the duke¿s eye - and she was the only female in the room who wasn¿t even trying. Christine Derrick is intrigued by the handsome duke - all the more so when he invites her to become his mistress. What red-blooded woman wouldn¿t enjoy a tumble in the bedsheets with a consummate lover¿with no strings and no questions asked. An infuriating lady with very definite views on men, morals, and marriage, Christine confounds Wulfric at every turn. Yet even as the lone wolf of the Bedwyn clan vows to seduce her any way he can, something strange and wonderful is happening. Now for a man who thought he¿d never lose his heart, nothing less than love will do. With her trademark wit, riveting storytelling, and sizzling sexual sparks, Mary Balogh once again brings together two polar opposites: an irresistible, high-and-mighty aristocrat and the impulsive, pleasure-loving woman who shows him what true passion is all about. A man and a woman so wrong for each other, it can result only in the perfect match. From the Hardcover edition.

Customer Reviews:

Sweet, witty and dangerous .......2007-09-19

This was my first book by Mary Balogh and it should have a warning label about putting it down. I started this book at 10pm and thought to read for 1 hour. I could not put it down until 3am in the morning! I was so engrossed that I wasn't even sleepy when I noticed the time. The story is sweet and witty and I love both characters though in real life, I would avoid them like the plague. Who can tolerate someone who laughs all of the time? Who can tolerate someone who answers back in terse simple words and uses a quizzing glasses? Ms. Balogh is so talented that yes, I am able to tolerate these traits and even like them. I will be looking out for more of her books.

The "Slightly" series by Mary Balogh.......2007-09-09

I have read all six of the Slightly series and find all of them fun and games, with invariably happy ending which is a very good idea with romantic fiction. My favorite was "Slightly Dangerous" where the protagonists seem to be so opposite that the whole premise was very much up in the air until about 2/3 thru the book, but having read the other five books I was sure it would all work out in the end, which it happily did.
Linda Sheean

The heroine is just too silly to believe.......2007-08-08

The antics that the heroine gets into really makes her look and appear headstrong, foolish, and downright silly and the results are predictable, especially with the falling into the water to retrive a stranger's glove. Give me a break. What makes her hard to visualize is that then she has moments of great insight and wisdom beyond her years. I did not find this character believable at all. Don't waste your money. Check it out of the library if you must read it.

Quizzing Glass???.......2007-07-31

I am sorry but I could not get past the quizzing glass!!!! It annoyed me to no end. I found the hero cold, boring, and ridiculous to boot....how the heroine fell in love with him was unbelievable. Wulfric was to staid and he was not a good match for our heroine. Christine was fun, vivacious, and loving. The chemistry was not there if felt as if MB was forcing a connection just to end the series. The sex scenes was lack luster at best. My gosh I had to grit my teeth to finish this book.

I bought this book after reading the reviews, but now I am sorry I did. I want so badly to return it to the book store and claim buyers remorse! I did not enjoy this book not one bit!

The quizzing glass made him sound so silly...UGH!!!

mary balogh another brillant book.......2007-06-27

This was an other excellent book in a brillant series cant wait to read more

The Everlasting Flame: A Tale of Undying Love for Each Other and God's Word in a Dangerous Time

Average customer rating:

A very good book
Very inspiring!
Great book! Very well researched of a terrifying era.
Captivating!
Captivating!

The Everlasting Flame: A Tale of Undying Love for Each Other and God's Word in a Dangerous Time
Linda Lee Chaikin
Manufacturer: Moody Pr
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 0802423396

Customer Reviews:

A very good book.......2005-06-03

I liked this book, even though the story was a bit drier than some of Linda Chaikin's other books. The basic plot is about William Tyndale and the translation of the Bible into English so that everyone could read it, but Linda Chaikin also weaves in a bit of romance through fictional characters, which makes the history go down a bit easier. My only real complaint is about the cover art...the two people portrayed on the cover are sort of silly looking. But that's just my personal opinion. I highly recommmend this book.

Very inspiring!.......2003-08-20

This is a great story of brave men and women who risked their lives to give the English people the Bible in their own language. I found it very inspiring as a Christian, and I loved the way the book ends on Luther's great hymn. The plot is very well-written, as with all the Linda Chaikin books I have read. I highly recommend it!!

Great book! Very well researched of a terrifying era........2003-02-25

I enjoyed this book alot. Though this isn't my favourite Linda Chaikin book I still liked it alot. This book is about love for God's Word and between two lovers who risked their lives to translate the New Testament into English when it was forbidden. Justin Brice and Regina Redford are the main fiction characters along with non-fiction character William Tyndale. Justin is sent to Rome to ease the conscience of his sin-tormented father. While in Rome Justin discovers in his daily monk rituals that this is not the way to seek forgiveness for his sins and also dares to translate the Bible from Latin into English. He escapes Rome with his life and makes back to England...to Regina who is promised to a different man. The romance is not the main focus of the story but you will get a deeper appreciation for the people who had risked their lives to bring God's light into the dark world. Admidst betrayal, danger God remains the only true light. I suggest that you read this book so that you will know how it was like to live through that era. I will read it again because it is very well-worth reading more than once.

Captivating!.......2002-02-26

THE EVERLASTING FLAME is a book I can read over and over. I've read it 6 times, and I still don't get tired of it. It is a wonderful book because it contains Scripture and the Gospel mesage, yet anyone would find it interesting and a fabulous read. I recommend it to anyone who loves adventure, historical fiction, and God's Word.

Captivating!.......2002-02-26

Grand Canyon Brides: From Famine to Feast/Armed and Dangerous/The Richest Knight/Shelter from the Storm (Heartsong Novella Collection)

Average customer rating:

Wonderful Historical Christian Romance taking place in a restaurant near the Grand Canyon
Grand Canyon Brides

Grand Canyon Brides: From Famine to Feast/Armed and Dangerous/The Richest Knight/Shelter from the Storm (Heartsong Novella Collection)
Pamela Kaye Tracy , Dianne Christner , Nancy J. Farrier , and Darlene Mindrup
Manufacturer: Barbour Publishing, Incorporated
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 1597890723
Release Date: 2006-06-15

Book Description

Committing themselves to at least a six-month contract with the Fred Harvey Company in 1908, four young women are determined to make a new start in Arizona while waiting tables at a restaurant along the rails near the Grand Canyon. Olivia has lost all the wealth she had growing up. Edie, looking for adventure, is greeted by a train robbery. Lillian seeks a rich husband. Katie is running from a dangerous past. Can these women maintain their respectable jobs, tame the west, and find a haven for their hearts? Are there any men civilized enough for them?

Customer Reviews:

Wonderful Historical Christian Romance taking place in a restaurant near the Grand Canyon.......2007-06-21

If you enjoy reading love stories about Christians that take place in different time periods, than this is a book for you! It takes place in the mid 1800's. There are four short novellas in this one book. About 90 pages per story and it is real easy reading.

The first story is about this girl working at the Harvey restaurant, yet she seems to be in no need of money, or is she? She caught the manager's eye first because she was a lousy waitress, second because she was beautiful and helped him ti take care of his daughter. What is her reason for working there? What is she running from?

The second story invloves another waitress from the Harbey reataurant only that she witnesses an attempted train robbery and falls for the ranger on the train. She struggles with her love and the question of how can they live with their situation.

The third story is about a young girl who wants to provvide for her family. Except shedoesn't plan on doing it as a waitress, she is on the search for a wealthy man to come find her and take her away from the Harvey restaurant and marry her. The only problem is she fell in love with the one man who wasn't wealthy, or was he?

The fourth story is about this sad woman who keeps to herself and ran away from her husband, whom she is afraid of. His brother comes looking for her and wants her to come back to they family. Does he have his own reasons for this? What happends when she finds out the reasons she hasn't been feeling well? What will her husband do to her for running away? Why did she run away in the first place?

These novellas were all so enjoyable, but keep in mind if you don't want to read about faith, God, and salvation, these books aren't for you. They have Christian undertones, not sermons. But great sources of inspiration.

Grand Canyon Brides.......2006-11-05

I would love to read more historical Christ centered short stories such as these with the same authors

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