Book Description
Is it impossible to let go — despite the pain?
• Do you yearn for someone who is not physically or emotionally available to you?
• Do you believe that if you love him enough he will have to love you?
• When you feel insecure, does it drive you only to want her more?
• Do you find yourself phoning repeatedly or waiting long hours for the phone to ring?
Do you wish someone would let go of you?
• Does an ex-lover or ex-spouse refuse to believe that it’s over?
• Do you receive unwanted phone calls, letters, presents, or visits?
• Is this pursuit of you creating so much anxiety that it affects your physical or emotional well-being?
In this invaluable self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward presents vivid case histories as well as the real-life voices of men and women caught in the grip of obsessive passion.
Whether you’re an obsessive lover or the target of such an obsession, here is a proven, step-by-step program that shows you how to recognize the “connection compulsion,” what causes it, and how to break its hold on your life so that you can go on to build healthy, lasting, and pain-free relationships.
Customer Reviews:
obssesive relationships.......2007-08-17
This is the best book that truly spoke to obsessive lovers. I had a hard time putting the book down becuase I related to so many of the people inside. Finally, someone has written a book for both women and men about obsessive, addictive relationships. I feel like I have new insight into problem and can start making positive changes in my life. Excellent book for anyone caught up in another person.
Get over that "one magic person".......2007-07-14
I hate those reviewers who write, "this book changed my life," but this book saved my life. I was able to quit a very toxic relationship after 3 years while reading this book. The exercises really help because it's so eye opening to finally see on paper our unhealthy patterns and behaviors. Her section that explains the difference between feelings and thoughts is very enlightening since most of us seem to confuse the two in our communications (saying, "I felt like the movie was kind of slow," when we really mean, "I think this movie is slow, and I feel bored, restless.") This book can really help you get your life back in balance when you think you just can't live without that one magic person.
An encouragement, but not a one-size-fits-all cure.......2007-01-29
I have struggled three times with "obsessive love," and am now struggling a fourth time. When I first saw this book, I was encouraged to know that I'm not alone, and that I have a documented psychological condition with documented remedies. Unfortunately, however, I was expecting too much, and was disappointed. There is no easy one-size-fits-all solution, and I was left with more questions than answers at the end of the book.
Based on the cover, you would imagine that most of this book would be devoted to practical advice for obsessive lovers. Not so. The first section (pages 1-106) is just a symptomatic description of the problem, illustrated with numerous stories from Dr Forward's clients. She starts with an outline of the emotional process in an obsessive lover's mind - the constant fear of rejection, and ultimate denial of rejection, leading to a totally unrealistic view of the relationship. The chapter is padded with more examples than it needs, but it gets the point across: if you're an obsessive lover, you will now be in no doubt about it. In the following chapters, she goes on to talk about progressive levels of obsessive behavior: frequent phone calls, unwanted gifts, stalking, anger, revenge and ultimately murder (!). I lost the thread right at the beginning of this list. Obsessive behavior for me means pacing around my apartment, sleeping all day, bad eating habits, distraction from work, but never any obvious personal harrassment.
I plowed on, skipping through some of the bizarre and irrelevant stories, mildly encouraged that things could be a lot worse. The second section (pages 107-168) deals with obsessive love from the target's point of view: how to free yourself from an obsessive lover. That's probably useful information if you're in that situation, but not if you're the obsessor, as is probably the case for most readers.
Next we have a chapter about the possible root causes of obsessive love, namely bad experiences during childhood (pages 169-193). Dr Forward suggests that most obsessive lovers have suffered rejection by parents, peers or early lovers, and that our adult lovers are an emotional substitute. Interesting theory, but does it help? Not really.
Finally, in pages 194-278, we reach the meat of the book. A practical guide to overcoming obsessive love. Dr Forward leads you through a step-by-step process of identifying destructive triggers and behaviors in our lives, and systematically making more constructive choices. Part of the therapy involves a two-week "emotional vacation" away from your lover, with absolutely no contact permitted. The system sounds sensible, if you have the discipline to go through with it - though some aspects are embarrassingly silly (sticking little STOP signs all over your house!). I think it would be difficult to apply without human accountablility.
My biggest complaint, speaking personally, is that this book makes too many assumptions about your situation. In most of the cases where I've become obsessed, I have not been outright rejected. My "targets" wanted to remain as close platonic friends after the casual romance ended, since we had already been friends before dating. They didn't understand, or even realize, that I was going through agony with the friendship. In two cases, the situation was left open-ended, i.e. "I can't handle a serious relationship right now; let's just be friends, and see where we end up when our lives are less chaotic," etc. All of Dr Forward's examples deal with more explosive break-ups or cheating partners, and not with nice friends who just don't want a serious relationship. How do you separate yourself from a friend who doesn't even know you're obsessed, when THEY are the ones initiating all the contact? I have other friends who have suffered in similar ways, but Dr Forward has nothing to say on this scenario. She also doesn't deal adequately with "passive obsessors" - people who act out their obsession by withdrawing themselves from the world, instead of phoning, stalking, etc. Forcing yourself NOT to do something is a tangible objective - but when your obsession drains away all your energy, and all you can do is sleep or stare at the wall, this surely requires a different sort of therapy. Some of her ideas may help in this case (eradicating sensual triggers, increasing physical exercise, etc), but depression itself will still be a hard thing to overcome without professional help.
Why good relationships end........2006-05-04
After I had 3 long term relationships end. I decided to look for help. A counselor recommended I read Susan's book. Wow what an eye opening experience. Many of the situations she outlines in the book parallel my relationships. It helped me take a fresh look at the way I think about love and relationships. It doesn't take too long to read and has totally changed my life. If you think your obsessing you should read this book. And start enjoying fun and healthy relationships instead of poisoning your life.
This book is for everybody. Get it........2006-04-15
This book is for everybody. Everybody has had the experience of not wanting to let go, or letting go and finding it extremely painful. Hardly anybody does the strange things Forward describes her clients doing, but the insights she offers on how to deal with one's feelings speak to the universal human experience. I decided to write off "relationships" years ago, but reading this book was just the thing to find closure and put an end to that part of my life permanently. Whether you are writing off one "relationship" or writing off all "relationships" the way I did, Forward can help you and how.
The book could benefit from a good editor. I was not at all interested in reading about her weird clients, which took up at least half the book, and some of them are really major league weird. But after a few pages you learn to "zap" that part the same way you "zap" commercials on your VCR. Her comments on why people find "relationships" so painful and ultimately not worth bothering with and where those feelings originate and how to get rid of them are pure gold and well worth reading. I cannot recommend a better resource.
Also, readers who have heard Forward on the radio should know that the book is not at all obnoxious, despite the way she comes across in her show. Whoever wrote this book (Forward or an uncredited ghost) strikes you as someone you would feel very comfortable turning to for advice.
Get it. You will be glad you did.
Average customer rating:
- If anything this book will be fascinating to read on coincidence
- Great Book!
- Don't walk...run out and buy this book!
- A Big, Vague, Bundle of Contradictions
- Mostly believable
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When GOD Winks on Love: Let the Power of Coincidence Lead You to Love
SQuire Rushnell
Manufacturer: Atria
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
 Self-Esteem | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
Faith | Christian Living | Christianity | Religion & Spirituality | Subjects | Books
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ASIN: 0743492943 |
Book Description
You are destined to have a soul mate. If you have faith in the outcome, the picture of love you have in your mind can be yours. So trust...and learn to read the godwinks.
Like a jigsaw puzzle in which you know that all the pieces will fit precisely together, the blueprint for your life was written with an exact-fitting piece just for you and your soul mate. Yes, within that jigsaw puzzle called "Your Life," there is a perfect love.
Sure, sometimes you feel as if all the pieces have been dumped out on the dining room table and there's no way to get them to fit together. We all do. That's why you must have confidence in the big picture. And that's why you must learn to read the godwinks...those remarkable little coincidences that happen to us all.
Customer Reviews:
If anything this book will be fascinating to read on coincidence.......2007-03-19
Some people are just meant to be and when you think of it ... maybe one ought to just go with the flow when it comes to love. Real life stories of how there is something beyond your control ... God ... and that is a good thing!
Great Book! .......2007-02-08
I have read all three of Mr. Rusnells books. I think they really make you think about the coincidences in your own life. Many times I have thought about things that happened to me and wondered, how could that be? Why did this happen at this particular time in my life? I thought Mr. Rushnell's book help put these life events in perspective I can't think of a better name then God Winks too!
Don't walk...run out and buy this book! .......2007-02-08
I am convinced that When God Winks on Love is responsible for leading me to my soulmate. While nursing my latest broken heart, I discovered this book and immediately fell in love with the title. Then, I read (no...devoured) it from cover to cover in one sitting. It's a brilliantly written, easy to read collection of charming (and amazing)stories of how God winks (kind of like road signs letting you know you're going in the right direction) led people to the love of their life. Do the stories seem far fetched? Maybe...but that's the whole point! It proves that while you may think that out of six billion people on the planet, you'll never meet "the one"...in fact, you're on someone's GPS system all the time.
Mr. Rushnell is an amazing storyteller. He'll touch your soul and you'll swear he's talking directly to you.
Two weeks after I read this book, I met a man...we fell in love...got married...and are now living happily ever after.
This little book, along with Mr. Rushnell's other God winks books (I've read them all) have a place on my bookshelf for life.
A Big, Vague, Bundle of Contradictions.......2006-07-09
In this book's intro it says, "It's no coincidence you opened this book" then "You see, everytime a coincidence occurs, a prayer is answered, or something happens to make you say, 'Wow! What are the odds of that happening?' You've received a godwink, a signpost along the path to your destiny-a message of reassurance that you are never alone."
Besides that contradiction, here is more. But first, here's some wishful thinking advice (from his book):
"If you have faith in the outcome, the picture you've seen in your mind can be yours."
Yep, this is another book rehashing the "if you have enough faith" fairytale. But here are the contradictions. He goes on to say: "You are destined to have a soulmate relationship. ... (godwinks) are signposts of reassurance, guiding you into making your own free will decisions."
What the hell, so you are destined, and godwinks are to show you that you aren't alone, no wait, they are reassurances to guide you into making your own free will decisions because you control your own destiny.
Oh but that's not all, on page 143, he said, "You must continue to listen to the small, still voice within-your intuition-and make the important choices in your like on your own, bolstered by an awareness that you are surrounded by the invisible safety net of the Almighty, confirmed by godwinks, that you are never alone."
That's some great comfort from God, to let you know that you are on your own when it comes to making decisions, and he's not gonna help at all, and even causes coincidences to reassure you that he's not gonna help, and reminds you to make all the hard choices without any help, and is just gonna watch and continue to remind you that he's doing this. Oh and, "let the power of coincidences lead you to love." ... Wait, so now God uses coincidences to tell you who to marry or have sex with, and you should choose, using your free will to go with God's coincidence-advice? I thought he wasn't helpin out with the hard choices?
Advice, don't give this book to anyone unless you want them to end up in a mental institute. And saying "free will" is redundant, of course it's free. It seems like this author has an anti-predestination bias, and in his bias is fine with wrecking the minds of those he is trying to make money off of.
Mostly believable.......2006-06-30
I really enjoyed this book. While I think some of the winks are stretches, there are some that are absolutely amazing. I think for those of us who've had some hurts, it's refreshing to know that God still has some good things in store for us.
Book Description
Women are bored with playing by the "Rules". They wish they could send men back to Mars and are ready for a book that validates their frustrations. "Let's Face It . . ". explains why some women run to problematic men, provides tips on how to gain support and self-esteem, and reveals how specific actions can break destructive relationship patterns.
Customer Reviews:
unique.......2007-03-14
This book genuinely teaches you how to approach things differently, to understand why, and to enjoy yourself while doing it. I take my hat off to the authors, who after all are men. They could have kept this to themselves, and therefore held onto the power; but they didn't. Thankyou.
Its got nothing to do with either sex.......2007-02-23
OK I've read both kinds of books. The ones that say women are crazy and the ones that say men of jerks. This is of the latter. It tells women that basically what ever goes wrong in the relationship, it isn't your fault. It catergorizes men into certian types. I guess for some women they must connect with this. Being a guy it just irritated me and gave women more fuel for their fires. Likewise I would believe that many women are not pleased with the male books that point out the shortcomings of women. The solutiions to life will not be found in the pages of this book or any others. The problem is much deeper than that. Women and men are totally different, with different needs and different expectations. We need to recognize that. I am afraid that feminism has done nothing tohelp this fact. In the "good old days" women and men had predefined roles and we didn't have the same problems. Now you have 2 very different sexes vieing for equality. Equality on every level will never work because we are so different.
I admit it, I'm with Dennis Leary........2007-02-20
Before I read this book I thought I was pretty cool. Now I realize I'm just a big jerk. My life has no meaning anymore, I think I'm just going to end it. Thanks Joe!
[BANG!] {thud)
Classic Oversimplification.......2007-01-12
I always love hearing suggestions like the ones in this book. The assumption coming in is that the reader bought the book because they have tried everything but the other person is still a "jerk". Unfortunately, it ignores the fact that a relationship is a two way street. There are certainly a number of cases where one person is completely (or mostly) in the wrong. However, is it not much more likely that both sides are not working together, and that both sides are indeed to blame? A husband may be a jerk, or a wife, and both sides would simply blame the other. It seems rather biased to assume that just because things aren't going well in a relationship that the man must be wrong, and the perfect woman must now employ these techniques in order for him to see the folly of his ways. It is classic revisionism that when the man is a jerk its his fault...however, when the women angers the man she is simply reacting to his awful behavior. Wake up people! Its not the womens fault when the mans acting terribly, but women its not the mans fault if you're acting horribly as well. Take responsibility for yourself and learn how to examine things from the other persons shows. That, rather then passive aggressiveness or blatant manipulation, is the real path to a stronger relationship and a more caring bond.
Stop trying to please that angry jerk! (and get out ASAP!).......2006-11-16
This book really saved my life when I was in a relationship with an angry, critical man and couldnt leave until I could afford to. It really helps you to stop trying to please them too. You cant make them happy or make them stop criticizing you. It's impossible. The best thing this book taught me is to stop arguing with them and instead - agree with them. You have to read it to understand how this works but it is so FUN and it gets them off your back!! It made my life so much more peaceful and tolerable. It is a very interesting twist on human behaivor and the effect of one person changing drastically and in turn the other person has no choice but to do the same. Helps you to take back your power, self-esteem and peace of mind. Dont let your "jerk" ever see it though! Make sure it is well hidden!
Average customer rating:
- Let It Be Over
- Delightful and funny! 4 1/2 stars on entertainment value!
- Light and fun
- I would Skip
- Let It Be Love - a male Effington story!
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Let It Be Love
Victoria Alexander
Manufacturer: Avon
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Mass Market Paperback
General | Romance | Subjects | Books
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When We Meet Again
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Accessories:
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philosophy hope in a jar daily moisturizer
ASIN: 0060593202
Release Date: 2005-10-25 |
Book Description
When
New York Times bestselling author Victoria Alexander created the Effingtons, she introduced an irresistible clan. Now, meet her most unforgettable hero yet . . .
Dashing Jonathon Effington, the Marquess of Helmsley, has had more than one lady willingly fall into his arms. But he's so delicious none has ever complained at their inevitable parting. And while Jonathon's no stranger to passion of the flesh, his heart has remained untouched. Until now . . .
At each Christmas Ball, Jonathon selects a delectable lady to share the pleasures of the evening—after all, it's a holiday tradition! But he is shocked to discover that his choice is replaced by an enchanting stranger who surprises him with a proposal of marriage. Beautiful Fiona Fairchild is desperate—only a wedding will save her sisters and her inheritance. But Jonathon has no interest in marriage, and what starts as a shocking proposal turns into a scandalous proposition that might ruin them both . . .
Download Description
"
When
New York Times bestselling author
Victoria Alexander created the Effingtons, she introduced an irresistible clan. Now, meet her most unforgettable hero yet ...
Dashing Jonathon Effington, the Marquess of Helmsley, has had more than one lady willingly fall into his arms. But he's so delicious none has ever complained at their inevitable parting. And while Jonathon's no stranger to passion of the flesh, his heart has remained untouched. Until now ...
At each Christmas Ball, Jonathon selects a delectable lady to share the pleasures of the evening -- after all, it's a holiday tradition! But he is shocked to discover that his choice is replaced by an enchanting stranger who surprises him with a proposal of marriage. Beautiful Fiona Fairchild is desperate -- only a wedding will save her sisters and her inheritance. But Jonathon has no interest in marriage, and what starts as a shocking proposal turns into a scandalous proposition that might ruin them both ...
"
Customer Reviews:
Let It Be Over.......2006-09-25
I could not wait for this book to end. It was boring, boring, boring. Do not atempt at any cost. I purchased this book at a used book store and I paid to much for it. Her heros character Johnathan was below average, he seemed to have no special qualities. He seemed to fall into the cardboard hero. And Fiona was just worse. I disliked her immensely. I thought her concited, rude and a host of other things that I am not aloud to write on Amazon here. She thinks she is beautful, loves other men giving her attention, kisses well because she has done it often and has kissed back on many occasions. The reason I know this is the author has described her (wonderful) character this way. She gets upset with the hero because he thinks that the proposal of marriage was just a hoax. She thinks he should keep his word and just go through with the marriage. Who would want to marry a shrew. Unfortunalty the hero does not heed my advice. (Dumb Man). This book fills its boring pages with them writing a book together. Thats boring also. And our so (wonderful) Fiona draws pictures of nudes. Woman in her era did not do things along those lines. It seemed so far fetched. it seemed perfectly natural to her but Johnathan and the cousin Oliver seemed to be a little stuffy regarding the issue. Here are men who enjoy woman and here is a virgin who seems to draw the male form. She tells them she views it just like the bowls of fruit she draws - Stupid, Stupid. Save your money if you do not want to be bored to tears, because you will be.
Delightful and funny! 4 1/2 stars on entertainment value!.......2006-03-02
While I am not on the payroll, I found this to be a delightful read. I thought the plot was very light and maybe a tad predictable. I found the characters to be funny, and I loved their interaction with each other. I found myself laughing out loud quite a few times. It is not a serious plot twisting book, so don't buy it if that's what you're looking for. I really did find it entertaining, and I ordered more of Alexander's books because I did enjoy it so much.
Thanks Victoria!
Light and fun.......2006-02-26
First book I read in 2006 - Happy New Year to me! Set in 1853 London, twenty-five year old Fiona Fairchild is a gorgeous, smart redhead who needs to marry. Her father's will dictates she must wed or else she and her three younger step-sisters won't have dowries. Jonathon Effington, the Marquess of Helmsley, a friend of Fiona's cousin, is a nice man, liked by men and women. He's told his friends he wants to marry but only to a woman who is perfect for him. Fiona proposes marriage to Jonathon. He thinks it's a joke and accepts. Three days later he backs out but feels an obligation to help Fiona. Jonathon and Fiona's cousin concoct a scheme to publish a book to make money so Fiona's not dependent on the will. Of course it gets a little tricky. Great dialogue, laugh out loud funny at times, strong characters, wonderful story with some twists and turns.
I would Skip.......2006-01-31
I loved 'When we meet again' by this author but this novel was slow and I tended to skim. It had one love scene but most of the time the couple was annoying. I like Lady Judith Chester and fun widow who is the only enjoyable part of this novel.
Let It Be Love - a male Effington story!.......2006-01-02
It was nice to read the story of a male Effington. I've certainly been charmed by all those women and have seen snippits of Jonathan Effington - so this was a nice change. He was a most believable and consistent hero.
Fiona was an interesting match for him. I'm still not sure about some of her character turn abouts - but she was always interesting.
It was a good read for the holidays.
Does Judith get a story???? If not, who is next in the Effington saga?
Keep writing, Ms. Alexander!
Book Description
If a woman is really “wild,” but made every attempt to present herself as a wholesome, prudish, “good girl,” how would you know the difference? “Mode One: Let The Women Know What You''re REALLY Thinking shows you how. Read it.
Customer Reviews:
The best theory a man can apply to dating women.......2007-09-10
I have read The Game, God is a woman, and The Mystery method. This book is unique. The author is a screen writer and knows how to write and explain this phenomena. I would call this a new branch in science for dating women. We men are logical thinkers and he does a good job showing us a theory we can practice and use to our advantage. You'll understand clearly how we can get what we want with women by applying the four mode theory to our behaviors.
Want To Like It More Than I Do.......2007-03-27
I am struggling with this review because I like the author more than I like the book; hence I want to give it a better a rating but that would be insulting to him and to other readers.
I would not have read this book had it not been for a conversation I engaged in with the author on Mystery's page, which you can find on the discussion board on that page. At first he kind of annoyed me as he was commenting on books he hadn't read but he quickly impressed me with his follow-thru and acknowledgment that he wouldn't say more without reading the books we were discussing. That shows alot of character and class, prompting me to buy his book.
MODE ONE is refreshing in the pick up genre because it is very direct and honest. Many of the books are not honest with women although they still have some very good advice. I felt, though, that this whole book is really a 2-3 chapter concept that is dragged out for a complete book. It could really be consolidated, making more room for the author to include other ideas, concepts, and most importantly more stories. It becomes text book and while I like the marketable concept of the different modes of men, the constant use of "Mode Four" and "This guy is behaving Mode 3" and "He is exhibiting Mode Two" becomes distracting. If it was mixed up more, it would help remind us which mode is which, as the term is used so much it becomes hard to remember which is which. I'd like to hear more stories and examples from the author.
I've found Alan to be articulate in his writing on his blog and in other books message boards and commenting on other reviews on other books. Unfortunately, in his own book it becomes lost in SUDDEN capitalized WORDS and lots of bold and italics, which you can quickly see for yourself in "search inside". The points would come across better without all these distractions and without the punctuation problems that occur. It all detracts from the content. A little known book I once flipped thru called NOT ALL MEN ARE PIGS does this alot and I think if the author read it, being a third-party for that book, he would quickly find how distracting it is.
Content-wise, the major flaw is the one that this book shares with most of the genre. It treats all women the same. There are women who like shy, quiet guys. There are women who you can't be as upfront with as you'd like. MODE ONE doesn't account for these women. That's not to pick on it, the only books I've found that do discuss different techniques for different women are THE PROFESSIONAL BACHELOR and GOD IS A WOMAN: DATING DISASTERS, which alone makes them well worth reads.
Basically, I think Alan is on to something with the Mode concept. I think it needs to be developed more, made more concise, and he needs to go back and edit. I fear that he will lose readers because of those problems, which is a shame because there are some good points in this book and I do like the boldness-concept of it all. While I can't recommend this book, he has peaked my interest enough with his character and basic concepts that if he makes changes or writes another book, I will read it, in hopes that I can recommend it to my friends. (I know I probably of typos here, too, but I'm not writing a book.)
Alas, A New Era Of Authenticity. Mode One Delivers!.......2007-02-22
My #1 kudos for author Alan Roger Currie encouraging and promising men and women reward for being upfront, straight-forward and honest in dealing with each other. "Dogs and gold diggers" couldn't thrive with his code of conduct in place, repeatedly discouraging and criticizing manipulation with the opposite sex. Without this honesty, miscommunication, manipulation and hurt feelings are born. I've always said that men don't need to lie only boys do. Author Currie has given men incentive to avoid being phony, deceptive, misleading, and manipulative toward women.
Unfortunately we have an entire pimpin' culture(music, clothing, language, sexuality, religion): gangsta rap based on males being what Currie refers to as Mode Four behavior males..."usually possess a high degree of very misogynistic attitudes toward women. They are still physically and sexually aroused by women, but they do not respect them as human beings. They literally despise women. When it comes to interacting with women, they have a chip on their shoulder." The hurt puppies become ferocious and dangerous dogs.
Although the book is speaking to the males, I gained quite a bit from this book as a woman. Not only in regards to men and women connecting, but in the success of life in all areas. I recommended the book to at least six people prior to completing my first read.
It is unfortunate that this type of book need to be written; desiring, pursuing and engaging in sexual acts is a basic in the natural order of life. Of course men want sex from women and vice versa. That is something that should go without saying. It's like walking up to another human being and saying I am a human being. That would be strange. Currie's book is a perfect vision of authenticity for Amerikka's culture of illusion and hypocrisy.
The only part of the book that really lost me was Chapter 6: Casual Sex v. Relationships
"Wholesome Pretenders and Erotic Hypocrites". I would have appreciated if the author would have added a couple of categories of woman within this study that would've given men a vision of what to shoot for in addition to two very extreme negative examples. The tone changed and it felt as if he was having a flashback while describing these two examples. I do appreciate the fact that he did put some responsibility on males and the American culture of the conflicting messages women get from a puritanical/pornographic culture. Even Ludacris says "they want a freak in the bedroom and a lady in the street." I can't tell you how many times I've heard that throughout my life.
While there were some things that I didn't agree with like, "within the first few days of meeting a woman, always treat a woman as if she's just one of many." This reaks of pretending i.e. manipulation. Be a man with many choices or things to occupy your time so you don't need to pretend. Overall this is a very smart and worthwhile book.
I would recommend young people who are beginning the dance of connecting with the opposite sex to read this book. The message of being honest and authentic is very powerful and timely!
Thank you for writing this book Alan Roger Currie.
The Only Review You Will Have to Read:.......2007-01-29
I will admit it - I used to suck with women. Around four years ago I met a girl who was deeply into me. (or so I've been told, I never dared asking her myself) The problem was - I had no idea what to do, and no balls to take action. So I pussyfooted, and after three weeks of me calling her and leaving messages, she ended up getting annoyed and forgot about me. This was my breaking point - my ego was torched. I couldn't get a girl that clearly liked me and I had to find out why.
It took me roughly three years of studying different things about women to get decent at it. I had many lines and scripts memorized and could at least figure out how to close the deal a few times. However, something was missing. It seemed like the times I succeeded with women were not the times that I played some strategy, but when I was fairly straightforward about my intentions. Looking back, all the girls knew that I wanted to hook up with them. Yet I still had little idea how I was getting them in bed. I couldn't possibly imagine that all the years of gathering information would be obsolete in just a few months.
Mode One goes directly against most of the regular advice that young guys get. Our society had become so incredibly confused that the guys have very little idea as to what exactly they are doing when dealing with the opposite sex. Ironically enough, deep inside they know exactly what they should be doing, but there is so much fear and contradictory information that it is hard to take the plunge and embrace your natural desires.
This is why Mode One is an indispensable book - It does exactly that. It forces you to look deep inside and question your true intentions with the opposite sex. It shows you the "light side" - the option to tell the truth, being real, straightforward, and get the girl without all the nonsense and drama. It boggles my mind when I think of people going on multiple dates and spending weeks wooing the girl only to find out she is not interested. That is LOSER strategy. And this is exactly what I was doing before I knew better. The winner knows what he wants, and he isn't afraid to tell the woman what it is. What I love about the mindset transcribed through the book is that it actually makes you a better human being - you are no longer playing manipulative games, supplicating or straight out lying to get what you want. I've been told by a very wise man once that women reflect your own attitude. I couldn't agree more, and this becomes evident once you go Mode One - women will actually drop their tactics allowing the two of you to have a better emotional connection.
I will make one very important distinction here: Allen is not saying "go up to a girl, tell her you want to bang her and keep pushing if she is appalled." That is stupid. The real way to do it is showing a girl that you are a cool, caring, sexual, fun guy who knows that he wants her and is not ashamed of it. You still have to be nice to girls, but you are not going to get rejected because she knows that you want to have sex with her and hence you are in the "potential mate" category.
Here is the most important quote from the book:
"How would you approach women, and behave towards
women, if you knew for a 100% fact ahead of time that
each and every woman you interacted with was dying to
date you, kiss you, and eventually have sex with you,
even if they failed to initially reveal this to you??"
This is the ultimate question, since once you know the answer, getting women is a very easy task. Reading Mode One makes sure you discover that answer for yourself.
I have the policy to not kiss and tell, but I know that numbers don't lie, so see for yourself:
When I was implementing strategies, scripts, lines and general supplicating behavior, I slept with 5 women in 3 years. When I started being honest with them, I've bedded four women in a month.
People say that there are not enough practical examples in this book - but I think that is the genius of it. Once you develop the mindset, you will have enough experiences to compile your own book in no time. I actually had to turn down sex a couple of times because the women were too easy. It was like going to the knife fight with a bazooka. So definitely keep looking for quality women otherwise you might end up with a lot of party girls on your hands.
P.S. I can not rave enough about Alan's personal customer service. Every sent email is promptly replied to, and the advice is always there in case you need some. Simply tremendous.
"...An interesting theory...provokes deep thought and encourages close examination of attitudes and beliefs.".......2007-01-14
"Mode One: Let The Women Know What You're REALLY Thinking explores how men should approach women that they are interested in. Displaying an interesting theory utilizing personal principles for evaluating effective behavior vs. ineffective behavior towards women."
"The author describes four modes of behavior that will elicit various responses from women. Mode One Behavior being the suggested action of being upfront and honest about your true interest and intentions when approaching women."
"Mode One provokes deep thought and encourages close examination of attitudes and beliefs that have a direct link to preventing men from reaching their objectives."
"Overall, Alan Roger Currie makes suggestions that will help men conquer their fears about being rejected and criticized by women and achieve the type of relationship that they are truly interested in."
Book Description
In this savvy guide to a fascinating new world, former sex columnist Virginia Vitzthum goes underground to navigate the meanings and mores of sex and love on the Web. Using interviews, anecdotes, and her own experience with online dating, Vitzthum builds an animated and irreverent narrative about modern intimacy. How does the path of a relationship change when it starts with a profile? What do we reveal about ourselves--our personal lives and our private preferences--when we look for love online? Who are the people who actually manage to find happy relationships by trolling the Web? Success stories, sociopaths, and fearing the face to face meeting, Vitzthum is an entertaining decoder of online culture, under all of which lies the question: What does the Internet do to human relationships? A compassionate voyeur, Vitzthum approaches her fellow online daters with an open curiosity that makes her the perfect guide.
Customer Reviews:
Pleasent reading, perfect for a long flight.......2007-06-04
I have tipped my toes in on-line dating on a few occasions in the last 10 years, and so when I saw this book, I couldn't help but pick this up. I admit I was not familiar with the author, and didn't really know what to expect, having been "sold" on the book almost entirely by its title.
in "I Love You, Let's Meet: Adventures in Online Dating" (285 pages), author Virginia Vitzthum details her observations in the online dating scene, bringing the stories of 16 individuals and couples. Some have happy stories and endings (so far), many do not. Whether that is as a result of the online dating (versus in real life dating) remains unclear. The author also details very sharply how the many online dating websites that have proliferated, ultimately make doubtful, if not dubious, contributions in the bringing together of potentially interested mates.
The author also retells her own adventures, informing us that she is 0-for-65, if the end result of online dating is to find a lifetime partner. As dismall as that may look, the author observes at the same time that perhaps she doesn't want a full-time life partner: "The writes Patricia Highsmith ... told an interviewer once that she is more creative when she doesn't have to make conversation at home. A guilty thrill of recognition ran through me". I found this book to be a pleaseant, even entertaining, divertisment, and a perfect way to get through a recent 6 hour plane flight.
Quite A Surprise.......2007-05-07
I stumbled upon this book after finding a related (and very funny) video on YouTube. On a lark, I ordered the book and found it to be quite entertaining and surprisingly deep in its analysis. It really made me think about why people search for love online and what makes for a successful search.
And the true stories were hilarious and heartwarming. Even my married friend loved this book.
Intelligent and humorous look at online dating experiences.......2007-04-25
I was introduced to I Love You, Let's Meet through a reader to my blog who posted the link to a YouTube video in a comment. I thought the video humorously captured what happens far too often with online dating -- you become enamored with someone through emails, IMs and phone calls. Then you meet, and nothing. No attraction, no chemistry.
I wanted to know more about the book the video promotes, I Love You, Let's Meet, by Virginia Vitzthum.
The book is a mix of interviews Virginia conducted with a broad spectrum of online daters, all ages, sexual orientations, and marital status (!), interspersed with her own experiences online dating.
Virginia's writing style is also a mix: some sociologist, some memoirist, some humorist. She sprinkles salty language and sexually explicitness in with her thoughtful insights. She tells the stories of her interviewees and adds perspective to what she hears.
It is not a light read, but instead one which seriously examines the motivations and experiences of online daters. However, the serious parts are balanced with some irony and humor, so you don't stay mired in seriousness so long as to be tedious. The opposite in fact, as you want to read more of the world she examines through the stories her interviewees tell. But unlike other memoir/story-based books, she doesn't ply the experiences for humor by making fun of the storytellers or her own former dates.
Sisyphus' daughter (a stark and charming guidebook for the journey).......2007-04-25
To the extent that Vitzthum's method is descriptive and narrative, the book is a humble and efficient dossier. But in its analysis and commentary the book rises above reportage to the precincts of the humanistic essay. `What does it mean?' and `What does it mean to me?' open up cogent and sometimes brilliant meditations on the nature of human happiness, the social and linguistic construction of the self, and the manners and morals of courtship in the electronic age.
The book is wickedly funny in its dissection of the foibles of the hapless and the meretricious in this agonistic merry-go-round, and moving in its reflections on the attendant disappointments. Nor is the irreducible strangeness of looking for love in a computer database lost on Vitzthum, who brings an anthropologist's curiosity to her careful teasing out of the semiotic codes and deep structure of these online milieux, and the lifeworlds they help constitute.
Juxtaposing the almost magical potential of the apparatus with the various unsatisfactory denouments (some arising from the daters themselves and some from the medium), Vitzthum evokes the magnitude of exertion, the emotional wear-and-tear, of protracted cycles of optimism and frustration. But among the tales of Sisyphean labor are (true) stories that happen to end well, if not in full fairy-tale glow, at least in ways that are real and authentic in their humanness and particularity.
Above all, as she tells us toward the end, the author herself refuses to be crushed or disheartened. In so refusing, it seems to me, Vitzthum is making a reasoned, informed assessment that the potential is there, and that the odds are sufficient to the adventure, if daunting. She claims to persist not rationally but as an act of faith; but such a claim seems evidence of her intellectual modesty. Demonstrably there can be a there there, with Vitzthum's volume a stark and charming guidebook for the journey.
True.......2007-03-27
As an experienced online dater, I can say that this book is spot on. I wouldn't say it's a How-To online date book, but it does give a real glimpse into the workd of online dating. Just about everything she writes about I have experienced first hand (except for the gay/lesbian dating). It even made me examine some of the subconscious choices I have made and realize why I did it. Great book!
Book Description
“Finally, a real-world guide to help release your inner vixen!
The characters in my urban erotic tales could pick up some hot techniques from Let’s Get It On!”
–Noire, bestselling author of Thug-A-Licious and Candy Licker
“Juicy, mouth-watering, steamy, fun, and oh so sweet it’s guaranteed to turn up the heat.”
–Mary B. Morrison, author of When Somebody Loves You Back
Take your “sex game” to the next level with these sensual but practical tips from radio host and relationship diva LaDawn Black. Covering the romantic to the racy, longtime lovers to hot hookups, this how-to erotic manual is for anyone with the urge to charge up his or her libido and make sex every bit as fun and fulfilling as it should be. Filled with candid anecdotes, listener Q&As from the listeners of her radio show, and sexual arsenal builders, LaDawn Black takes readers on a seductive journey, pillow talking about
• personal grooming that’ll drive your man wild
• perfecting the art of oral sex
• the best bedroom props and toys
• sexy talk and fantasy play
• exploring taboos
• sexual hot spots
• sensual scents
With no topic off-limits, and no story too intimate to share, Let’s Get It On is the only book that will give you the confidence and the skill to take your sex life to the sizzling heights you may have only dreamed about.
Customer Reviews:
A man's point of view.......2007-07-25
I enjoyed this book. I purchased the book at a book signing. I think the author is a breath of fresh air, in a genre that seems to be filled with copy cats. and writters who are InZane. I like the fact that she incorporates questions from her radio show. I'd like to see her handle tales of erotica.
Married Sex Made Much Hotter.......2007-05-21
Picked up this little book to get some quick tips on boosting my sex life with my husband. Who knew that a book could make such a difference? I have learned how to stroke, dress, tease and play more efficiently. Great chapters: long-term sex tips, boy toys, mouth play and group play. All subjects are covered and Black let's you decide if it is your cup of tea. I was most impressed with Black's overall message to women: do only what you are comfortable doing, but make sure you always know what is available to you sexually. A must read for both single and married women!
My husband just got a workout - Great Sex in a Book.......2007-05-20
I purchased this book after hearing the author on NPR and I found it informative, funny and I put the tips to work over the weekend. I loved that Black threw in her personal experiences and those of her listeners and readers. The book is full of tips for all types of situations: married, single, straight, gay and also there are a lot of soft sex tips for those looking to feel sexy on the inside. The best chapters were those on rekindling long-term sex, boy toys, oral play and anal sex. The book explained everything clearly and allowed me to make a more informed decision as to what my favorite kink was. The chapter on buzzed sex was interesting too because we all have been there:)
Thanks for giving married women something sexy to talk about with their husbands!
Not what I expected.......2007-05-20
While some of the items in this book were "interesting" to say the least, I was TOTALLY unhappy about the advice she gives for a MARRIED woman who is unsatisfied. Her advice? Find a boy-toy on the side to regain her confidence and feel desired. What?! How about have a talk with your mate and try to compromise so that the relationship is mutually satisfying sexually. Since when has cheating been a remedy for unhappiness in a marriage? Nor did I care for her advice about having sex while you are high...why would an author promote smoking an illegal substance in order to reach a sexual peak? Much of the advice in this book seemed to be given by a high school or college student and doesn't seem to be very pratical. If you are contemplating using this book as a resource for improving your sex life, SAVE YOUR MONEY...it isn't worth the price tag!
Helped Me Get Freaky!!!!.......2007-04-09
A quick passion guide that gives you good ways to step up your sex game both mentally and physically. It is written in a conversational style that is witty, intelligent and real. I have actually encouraged my girls to pick up this book too so that I don't have all of the secrets. I look forward to more books from this new voice in relationships.
Book Description
Welcome back to Leo's supper club, where seduction is always on the menu . . . Rochelle Alers, "Love Lessons"Tyrell Hardcastle is knocked off his feet when he meets a local high school teacher. Now all he has to do is overcome her objections to him being the "younger man".Donna Hill, "Lady in Waiting"Noah Hardcastle is engaged to beautiful Tara Mitchell. However, their relationship is threatened when Noah's first love Rachel, returns to D.C. to prove to him that he is all she ever really wanted.Brenda Jackson, "Irresistible Attraction"Sydney Corbain never forgot her explosive encounter with Tyrone Hardcastle at her brother's wedding. So when she runs into him in New York City on business, they both see this as an opportunity to explore their undenaible attraction.Francis Ray, "Blind Date"Ayanna Hardcastle pretends that she is dating wealthy businessman Tanner Rafferty, in order to get her matchmaking friend off her back. But, she never imagined that Tanner Rafferty would show up to collect on that claim!
Customer Reviews:
"Nice Novellas".......2007-06-11
This book is the reason why Alers, Hill, Jackson, and Ray are some of my favorite authors. Unfortunately I can't find "Welcome To Leo's" so I can fully understand how the characters came to be, but this is a good book none the less.
Let's Get it On.......2006-07-15
The four combined stories were all well written but needed to follow a more cohesive or time sequential pattern since the characters were related.
Slow the roll....but a good read.........2005-11-28
I appreciated learning about the Hardcastle family...they were vivid, sexy individuals. Since Brenda Jackson is my favorite, I read her story first...loved it. I went to Francis Ray's next, then Rochelle Alers and finally Donna Hill. All the sisters deserve praise for setting a romantic, heart-tugging tone. However, Ms Ray's story left me feeling like I didn't experience that heart pounding feeling often found in foreplay and the whole beautiful experience of sex. It felt like it was over before it began. Ms Alers and Ms Hill invited the reader into the character's bedroom by taking it a little slower and offering more descriptive phrases. Ms Jackson hands down, takes the reader all the way from foreplay to orgasm...you can feel it, you're there! I did purchase two more of Ms Ray's book. I hope in these books, there's a little slower pace for the blow by blow interactions between the characters. For me, that's where the intensity lies.
Let's Get It On Indeed!.......2005-08-10
Since I finished Welcome to Leo's not too long ago, I couldn't wait to read this follow up to the Hardcastle Family. Surprisingly, Ms. Jackson's story wasn't my favorite. I won't give away too much of the storylines, here are my opinions:
Blind Date by Francis Ray (Tanner and Ayanna) - This was my favorite. The opening scene with Ayanna trying to get out of yet another blind date was priceless! I could just imagine the shock on her face when Tanner approached their table. Good chemistry between the two main characters made this an enjoyable story with a little bit of a twist in the plot concerning Tanner's sister.
Lady in Waiting by Donna Hill (Noah & Tara) - This story came in second for me. I got so mad at Noah for making Tara wait in a never-ending two year engagement. I had to give her credit for standing up for herself and telling him to get his act together and to give her a call if he ever did. She didn't sit around twiddling her thumbs waiting on his call either. Noah's ex-girlfriend (who is a big star) shows up and has decided that she will stop at nothing to get Noah back. Oh me oh my, what an interesting love triangle.
Love Lessons by Rochelle Alers (Viola & Tyrell) - Here's where the stories started getting boring. The one different thing about this one is the Viola is older than Tyrell. Other than that, it was just blah. And somebody please tell me how Viola was able to afford all those nice things (condo, furniture, paintings, etc.) on a teacher's salary??? Did I miss something in the plot where she won the lottery or something??
Irresistable Attraction by Brenda Jackson (Tyrone & Sydney) - The first 2 or 3 pages sizzle and then the story fizzes out. I was so bored that I stopped reading this and read Perfect Timing then remembered that I needed to finish it. Predictable ending, but blazin' hot love scenes typical of Ms. Jackson.
I think this is a must read for those who read Welcome to Leo's.
Absolutely perfect!!!.......2005-03-05
Each story was well written and this book is on my list of books i just HAD to read in one night. Rochelle's story was my personal favorite but each story holds you captivated until you reach the end. And is it necessary to say how sexy each was. Grab a glass of water and fan before you tackle this one!!
Average customer rating:
- Fantastic Book!
- A Sweet Compromise
- Just wonderful
- Beautiful,sweet story
- I love this book
|
Let's Get It On (Love Spectrum Romance)
Dyanne Davis
Manufacturer: Genesis Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
General | African American | United States | World Literature | Literature & Fiction | Subjects | Books
United States | Short Stories | Literature & Fiction | Subjects | Books
General | Romance | Subjects | Books
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General | Contemporary | Romance | Subjects | Books
United States | Short Stories | Literature & Fiction | 4-for-3 Books Store | Stores | Books
African American | United States | World Literature | Literature & Fiction | 4-for-3 Books Store | Stores | Books
General | Contemporary | Romance | 4-for-3 Books Store | Stores | Books
General | Romance | 4-for-3 Books Store | Stores | Books
Multicultural | Romance | 4-for-3 Books Store | Stores | Books
All 4-for-3 Deals | 4-for-3 Books Store | Stores | Books
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ASIN: 1585712108 |
Customer Reviews:
Fantastic Book!.......2007-07-26
Kudos to Dyanne Davis for a very well-written and engrossing book. There are few books that I'll admit to reading from start to finish in less than two days, and this book is definitely at the top of that list. Not because it's a short read but because it was so intriguing that I found it difficult to put down.
The main characters of the book, Heaven and Hamid, are well-developed which is vital in allowing the reader to feel a connection with them on their journey of love. Their conversations and their bickering felt natural and were absolutely hilarious at times, adding the right mix of comedy to keep most readers engrossed.
The issue of their differing cultural backgrounds was expertly handled, and also quite educational. The fact that the characters were shown struggling to fufill their dreams while following their hearts (resulting in difficult compromises) added to the realism of this tale.
I'd definitely recommend this book. It's a fantastic read and kudos once again to Dyanne Davis!
A Sweet Compromise.......2007-06-22
Mrs. Davis has out-done herself with this multicultural romance. I thoroughly enjoyed this entertaining ride with Heaven and Hamid. I found the dialogue was witty, funny and very entertaining. I couldn't put it down. The fire and passion between Heaven and Hamid just leapt off the pages. It was like watching a movie. I thoroughly enjoyed their heated fights as well as their passionate,HOT and STEAMY make-ups. This novel was about more than their cultural and religious differences. It was about Heaven's past hurts and Hamid's male ego and pride. It was about finding a way to get past their issues and finding a mutual compromise so that they could to be together and both be happy. I enjoyed watching Heaven change slowly throughout the novel from totally fighting Hamid at every step to finally accepting her fate as his soulmate and still not totally giving up the the fiery, passionate, and opinionated woman that Hamid fell in love with. I enjoyed the closeness of Hamid and his family and the way they accepted and made Heaven feel welcomed. A totally enjoyable read, you will not be disappointed.
Just wonderful.......2007-05-21
I loved this story...I liked the way that they met and that they were able to overcome their differences to become an item.
Beautiful,sweet story.......2007-05-09
I would love to see this book as a tv romance book it was so sweet, if I met a Hamid to love, religion and cultural would be no problem. Glad to see Heaven let down her defences and I understood why her ex did what he did (not saying its right). Hamid was one determined dude even tho Heaven did seem a bit selfish at first but she came good in the end and held her own in his world.
I love this book.......2007-02-13
I read every day for at least and hour romance books and non fiction. I loved the way Dyanne wrote. It made me think I was a 'fly' on the wall observing everything that was going on. Reading this book will make me read her other books.
My situation is a little different from most I think because I am black and I was married to an Arab so the relgious thing I could get, the cultural differences I could definitely understand and went thru. I had the same attitude that Heaven had.
But I loved the fact that Heaven travelled internationally since that is so rare for US americans to do (only 20% of native born americans have travelled internationally).
This is the first book that I can think of that I connected with. I folded down pages and reread sections still. I am not that 'long in the tooth' but lets just say I have been reading longer than a lot of folks have been alive. I can only say that if you read this book you will love it period, hands down!
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Women Who Love Too Much
