Reporting on 125 interviews with girls and women, Lamb details and normalizes the sexual play and anger expressed in the privacy of girls' bedrooms and playhouses. The result is a groundbreaking and guilt-free guide for parents and teachers to assist girls in accepting their sexual and aggressive feelings. Her portraits of girls' exuberant sexuality ("practice kissing," "I'll show you mine") and spontaneous anger (not-so-dear diary, pranks, and "cutting down") are fresh and fascinating. One particularly memorable chapter describes games of "naked Barbie" and applauds the lessons learned about becoming a sexual person rather than just a desired object.
Lamb's observations are so sharp that readers may wish the chapters offering her smart suggestions for change were longer. Some readers may be surprised and others unsettled by the vivid scenarios Lamb portrays. Still, by listening to girls and telling their stories without judgment, Lamb invites them to stop living a double life that ignores their anger and sexual feelings. She provides parents and teachers with a powerful and practical model of how to understand and nurture the hidden and genuine strengths of every girl. --Barbara Mackoff
From playground games of "chase and kiss" to rough-and-tumble soccer games, from slumber party stripteases to romantic fantasies behind closed doors, author Sharon Lamb coaxes out girls' true stories with uncommon sensitivity and focus. The result of more than 125 fascinating interviews with pre-teens, teenagers, and adult women, The Secret Lives of Girls reveals the ways that girls use their minds and bodies for private sexual play, mischief, and hidden aggression.
To truly understand what little girls are made of, Lamb suggests, we must listen not only to what they say to us but also to what they don't say, taking into account their hidden selves and the lives that we adults don't see. Yes, girls are known to be "good," but they manage to act out in decidedly ungirlish ways and, despite many parents' fears, be the better for it. What's most remarkable about Lamb's conclusions is that we needn't join the chorus of voices deploring a "girl-poisoning" culture for damaging our daughters. Instead, Lamb finds reason to celebrate girls' resilience in the face of pressures to conform -- and she does it by listening to them and to the women they have become. The Secret Lives of Girls explores such in-depth key issues as:
Accepting some kinds of sexual play -- teaching the difference between fun and bullying; setting a positive and supportive tone from birth through the grade school years.
From tomboys like "Julia," who runs with the boys in the streets of New York to "Abby," who led a "naked parade," the girls who share their stories here describe a hidden but fascinating world made up of more than girlish innocence. The Secret Lives of Girls is a welcome and much-needed addition to the literature on girls' lives and culture. It celebrates girls' hidden strengths, play, and needs, and opens a door for parents that can teach them how to understand their daughters better and help them grow.
Customer Reviews:
A fascinating look at young woman in today society........2005-06-11
Sharon Lambs look into the development of today's modern woman is a fascinating account of the problems that many woman face in today's society. It does not in the same league as Rachel Simmons's ground breaking "Odd Girl Out" but it's a satisfying look into womanhood and the impact that we hold to each other.
Worth a look.
Groundbreaking Look at Normal Girls' Sexual Play.......2004-07-28
Read this wonderful book!! The Secret Lives of Girls has such an important message for parents, for society, and for helping professionals: Girls'healthy sexual curiousity starts early. Let's not be scared of girl's sexual curiousity and sexual play, because it forms the bedrock of adult women's ability to experience a feeling of sexual agency and sexual pleasure.
This book is based on interviews with 122 women (aged l8 to 70) and girls (aged 6 to 18) of very diverse ethnic backgrounds. Dr. Lamb is to be commended for her commitment to research which reflects the lives of women from all backgrounds. The narratives are compelling, powerful and enlightening--a marvelous read.
If you are looking for a simplistic, black and white view of sexuality, this book is not for you. The first part of the book, which is about two-thirds of the book, is devoted to stories of girls' secret world of sexual play and desire. The stories were quite detailed, and for me, quite magical. Lamb discovered that there was no age where girls did not have their own wishes for sexual experimentation, no period of latency.
She also discussed sexual abuse, with an important focus on how an experience can be abusive without being harmful and with examples of times where deciding whether an experience was abusive or not was far from a black and white determination.
Her discussion of sexual abuse is brave, and respectful. I disagree with another reviewer, who felt she minimized it.
If you, yourself, feel guilty about some of your childhood sex play, The Secret Lives of Girls will help you accept the normalcy of your experience. This is the most specific --and magical--discussion I have ever read of of healthy sexual experimentation among children. Some examples were unsurprising, like highly sexualized Barbie play. Others, however, were idiosyncratic, like a group game where one girl played dead and was arranged in a provocative position, and then the other children came into the room and talked about how beautiful she looked. This girl experienced the sexual thrill of being an erotic object in a very safe way.
So many girls are punished by their mothers or fathers for expressing sexual curiosity, even if all they want to know is What is a tampax? or What a kiss? Harsh or fearful parental reaction leaves them feeling that having any sexual feelings, thoughts, or questions makes them bad or dirty.
These lucky, normal girls whose stories are reported in The Secret Lives of Girls will grow up and have memories of their own evolving sexuality as an important part of who they are. They experienced themselves as having sexual feelings, sexual urges, sexual dreams.They did not have sexuality thrust upon them, as defined by another --usually male-- person, or by a society that increasingly tells girls that they must look impossibly perfect to be seen as sexual.
I have not read another book I like better on girls' developing sexuality, and I'm a diplomate in sex therapy, an author, and an expert in the development of healthy sexuality (...).
If you are curious about the development of girls into women, if you want to live in a society where women feel free to experience sexual pleasure, if you're a woman who wants to understand her own sexuality better, or if you want to be a better parent, read this book.
Aline P. Zoldbrod Ph.D.
Boston, Massachusetts
Girls young and old need to read this book.......2004-02-12
Ah yes, you may be thinking, another femenist book about how girls get the short end of the stick when it comes to sexuality and agressive behavior. But lo! That's not (entirely) what you'll find here. Yes, she does talk about how girls are more repressed than boys, especially in the agression section of the book, but mostly it's a book about realizing that girls take part in sex play and aggression, too. In many places it's a celebration of this fact, especially as Ms. Lamb reveals to the women she interviews and the readers that we are in fact "normal." The disapointment I have in this book is her lack of discussing what as an adolescent educator I should do now with this knowledge. Still an excelent read for women or for anyone in charge of raising one.
This book was disappointing..........2003-11-13
I was really looking forward to reading this book, but was disappointed both by the content and the writing. Much of the book is made up of quotes from the women that Lamb interviewed, and most of the rest of the book seems to be Lamb's own clinical interpretation of these statements. I found her clinical opinions (e.g., something about believing it is ok for girls to shut the door of the bedroom and talk to each other with the lips of their vaginas) annoying and uninformed. In my estimation, the book mentioned, but underplayed the connection between early sexuality and previous or on-going sexual abuse... sure, it may be acceptable for girls to experiment sexually with each other, but it is the job of parents and psychologists to ensure that these behaviors did not stem from abuse. No, we don't want to raise women who are ashamed of their sexuality, but turning our backs on these behaviors is not always prudent, and may even be viewed as neglectful. I would also have found this book more useful if Lamb's findings had been integrated into other published research more often than into her own personal views.
Love your daughter? READ THIS BOOK!.......2002-05-17
Sharon Lamb has written the book that amazingly has not been written up to now. Why this is so is a separate intriguing question that I answered in my own discomfort as I read Sharon's work: Our culture is still very much locked into artificially imposed views of female sexuality and aggression, and our daughters still pay the price. As an Irish-Catholic dad, I can predict that many parents will be so shocked in the first five minutes of this reading that they will angrily toss SECRET LIVES back on the shelf. If you love your daughter, don't do this. You owe her the truths about herself, truths that we may find hard to accept. Read this, and learn, especially if it makes you uneasy. Love your kid that much.
Customer Reviews:
Leto's shines and her characters burn.......2003-01-09
Leto is one of the fastest rising stars in Harlequin's Temptations, and maybe the brightest. I look for her to make to jump to big books anytime. She has that droll Southern Charm and she imbues every book with it, and she know how to make the attraction between her leads sizzle. I especially appreciate how her females are not stereotype, but are women with minds of their own. With this book, she once more proves why I ordered her by name only and cannot wait until her next ones comes along.
Is there anyone who can get you into trouble more than a sister? That is the premise of Good Girls Do. At the University in Southern Florida (sorry, Julie did not use New Orleans again for she give such a texture to her works with that as a background!) Dr. Miranda Carpenter's sister pushed the CISS - Campus Institute for Safe Sex and Dr. Noah Yeager into nominating Miranda as woman of the year role model. Teri makes sure the papers pick up on it, and next thing Miranda is label "practically a virgin" - and as the late Robert Mitchum would tell you, there's nothing worse than a semi-virgin!!
Miranda is humiliated by this all, and Noah understands this, and had no idea Teri would shout it everywhere. Added to Miranda's humiliation is an attraction to Noah, but she has started away from the Party Animal that was known for his one night stands and love them and leave them attitude. Noah has been attracted to her for some time, but stayed his distance because he has had two bad relationships, one which ended in divorce.
However, Miranda is just ticked enough to take out her anger and frustration on Noah by winding up his clock and then teaching him a lesson as she decided to go after and win the CISS virtuous award.
As with all Leto's work, the banter is rapier sharp, warm and light, yet this story still manages to get the safe sex message worked in there.
Now, WE NEED Teri's Tale, Julie!!!
Delightful, Sexy - Great Summer Reading!.......2000-05-27
Can Miranda Carpenter resist the charms of Noah Yeager? It's not easy, but Miranda is determined to give it her best shot. Her sexy colleague doesn't help matters when he insists on 'helping' her win The Most Virtuous Woman on Campus award. Along the way, Miranda sets out to teach confront-your-conflict Noah a thing or two about commitment.
I LOVED this book! I'd never read one of Ms. Leto's stories, but I intend to correct that oversight. She has drawn very likeable, sympathetic characters to whom I was drawn immediately. Her dialogue is true and snappy. And the 'thunderstorm' love scene is guaranteed to leave your pulse pounding. [It was my favorite in the whole book].
This is a great book to tuck into your beach tote this summer. If you think it's steamy at the beach, just wait until you read Good Girls Do!
Provocative Premise.......2000-05-22
After a handsome psychologist and a meddlesome sister nominate her for the "Most Virtuous Woman On Campus Award," an attractive scientist is forced to go on a date with her colleague accompanied by a college newspaper reporter. GOOD GIRLS DO! by Julie Elizabeth Leto gets off to a sensuous start with a provacative premise...
Good Girls Do and so does Leto . . . again!.......2000-05-21
Julie Elizabeth Leto is quickly becoming a favorite author with a space reserved on the keeper shelf. Her latest is no exception. Good Girls Do is a delightful, fun, romantic romp. The garden hose scene alone makes this one a keeper!
Entertaining romantic romp.......2000-04-27
At the University of Southern Florida, Dr. Miranda Carpenter receives the letter notifying her that she has been nominated for the Most Virtuous Woman on Campus award. Miranda's sister Teri and their friend Noah Yeager were the ones to propose her to the Campus Institute for Safe Sex (CISS) because they felt she was an excellent role model. Based on information provided by Teri, the campus paper, The Bull Report, did an expose on Miranda with the headline screaming "Practically a Virgin", a humiliating label for the professor of sexual education at the school.
Noah always wanted Miranda, but she seemed aloof and remote to him. Instead, he chased after various skirts, but made it clear that he had no intention of forming any lasting relationships. He apologizes for his role in degrading Miranda albeit even if he had no idea what her sister was going to do. However, Miranda decides to teach Noah a lesson even as she decides to earnestly win the CISS award, but soon the duo begins to educate each other on the meaning of love.
GOOD GIRLS DO is a humorous romantic romp that will please fans that enjoy a campus love story. The tale is fun, breezy, yet provides a deep message on safe sex practices without preaching. The lead couple is a delightful pair and the secondary cast augments the novel with a feel of college life. Julie Elizabeth Leto is a talented author who owes her audience Teri's tale.
Book Description
Julia Wright couldn't be more content with her job at the local library, nestled in placid, picturesque Serenity Falls. Until her wacky mother, petty-thief sister, and little niece decide to crash her quiet party of one. And her troubles really stack up when a new guy roars into town on his Harley, shaking up more than just the books on her shelves.
Customer Reviews:
Linz sparkles!.......2007-01-21
Julia wants nothing more than a quiet, ordinary life, but when Luke comes back to town, it doesn't look as if Julia's going to achieve that particular goal. But maybe, getting a little shook up isn't all that bad??!!
Linz sparkles in this story that complete with a whacky small town, tons of laughs...and a great love story!
Good - but needs some serious copyediting.......2006-12-19
I thought the book was good, although a bit uneven. What really caught me by surprise, though, was the very obvious misspellings and grammatical errors.
"Carmen Diaz" for Cameron Diaz, "Marshal" law, and "Berkalounger" were only a few. It really detracted from the book because they pulled me away from the story. Some of the plotlines seemed as though they were dropped, and the ending seemed a bit rushed, but perhaps that's because there's a sequel?
In any case, it was a good read, and I would definitely check out the sequel.
DO read this book.......2006-07-10
This book is kicky and fun and held my attention from beginning to end. Julia and Luke are well-developed and growth is evident for both. The secondary characters are a hoot and I am looking forward to seeing what happens to them in the sequel. Bravo Cathie Linz! I am a romance comedy reader and you are now on my favorites list!
Cute story but too many unresolved plot points.......2006-05-18
Belly dancing librarian Julia Wright has escaped her flaky mother and sister to settle in a small Pennsylvania town. She wants to lead a quiet life while helping the town attain "Best small town" status in a national registry.
All those plans got tossed to the wind when sexy bad boy Luke Maguire rolls into town on his Harley and sets his sights on Julia for some recreational romance. Of course, she is dressed as Little Bo Peep, which fuels his imagination. Toss in an untimely visit by her hippie mom, sister, vampire niece, and a couple llamas, and she can just kiss her quiet existence good bye!
Luke left town shortly after graduation and has not been back for 12 years. While his father was portrayed as a loving dad, in actuality, he took out his frustrations on Luke in a brutal manner. After a stint in the Marines, then deep undercover in the FBI, Luke is not looking forward to having to return to the sleepy and gossipy town of his childhood, where he will have to remain in order to adhere to his father's will before he cash in on his inheritance. As they dance around each other, it is a pretty good assumption they will end up in bed.
At times zany, and other times poignant, I am not sure what exactly Linz was trying to convey. As a result, it is a tepid story at best with plenty of loose ends and plot points that were introduced then never really addressed, let alone resolved. There are too many good romantic comedies out there - better to get this one at your local library.
Have you ever made love on a Harley?.......2006-03-29
'Good Girls Do' by Cathie Linz is a fun romance novel. This novel is based around a small town somewhat like the 'Gilmore Girls' TV show. Julia works at the local library and Luke is the local bad seed that returns to town to run his father bar. The supporting characters are scary real. Forget the bad reviews - if you are looking for light enjoyable romance - I would read this one!
Average customer rating:
- Another ones bites the dust.
- Oh, how I loved it.
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Good Ghouls Do
Julie Kenner
Manufacturer: Berkley Trade
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
 Science Fiction, Fantasy, & Magic | Science Fiction, Fantasy, Mystery & Horror | Literature | Children's Books | Subjects | Books
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Fiction | Girls & Women | People & Places | Children's Books | 4-for-3 Books Store | Stores | Books
Fantasy | Science Fiction & Fantasy | Teens | 4-for-3 Books Store | Stores | Books
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The Good Ghouls' Guide to Getting Even
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An Ice Cold Grave (Harper Connelly Mysteries, Book 3)
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Midnight Alley (The Morganville Vampires, Book 3)
ASIN: 0425217035 |
Book Description
The USA Today bestselling author returns to Horror High-and so does teen vampire Beth Frasier.
In The Good Ghoul's Guide to Getting Even, Julie Kenner introduced Beth Frasier, high school sweetheart-turned-bloodsucker. She's back-and not alone in her habit. Vampirism is catching on at Waterloo High, since the Master Vamp Beth thought she offed is still wandering the halls. Now, sun-shy Beth has a new survival plan. But finding the real Master is putting a lot pressure on a girl who wants two things out of life: one more chance to tan, and a boyfriend who doesn't bite back.
Customer Reviews:
Another ones bites the dust........2007-09-25
This was another great book By Julie Kenner. It was cute, although in my opinion it wasnt as great at the first book The Good Ghouls Guide to Getting Even. This continues where the other left off. I hope there's will be another sequel to this because it ended with a lot of unanswered questions.
Oh, how I loved it........2007-09-11
Elizabeth "Beth" Frasier is the current valedictorian of Waterloo High School in Austin, Texas. She has a great boyfriend, Clayton Greene, a loyal best friend, Jenny, and an odd acquaintance with a cute college guy named Kevin. The down side is that Beth was tricked (earlier in the year) into becoming a vampire. Then she had to save Clayton from dying by changing him into a vampire as well. Kevin is a vampire hunter. The only reason Kevin has not staked them both is because they have yet to drink the blood of a LIVING person. Until such time, Beth and Clayton may still have a chance to become human again. To do so, they must figure out WHO Beth's maker/master is and then have the vampire staked.
Jenny is using her journalism skills to investigate students, teachers, and anyone else from the school in hope that the list of possibilities (suspects) can be narrowed down. Once trimmed to a decent size the hard part will begin. Jenny, Beth, Clayton, and Kevin must test the rest with holy water.
Of course there are major hurdles in the way. Someone, or a group of people, are trying to stake Beth into dust. Beth has just dodged an arrow from a crossbow when she overhears Clayton talking on the phone. And it definitely sounds like Clayton has hired someone to assassinate Beth so he can become human again. After all, Beth is Clayton's maker. Taking advantage of the romantic strain, Kevin is trying to win Beth's love and doing a very good job of it. There is also the fact that Beth stopped trying to figure out the day-walking formula for the higher up vampires of the school and it looks like they will have to force Beth to begin work on the formula anew. Lastly, there is another vampire clan in town; the Traditionalists. They do not want the day-walking formula to be found. If that means getting rid of Beth and anyone else in their way, then so be it.
***** If you missed the first book (The Good Ghoul's Guide To Getting Even) then run, don't walk, to the nearest book store and buy a copy! No, you do not HAVE to read the first book in order to enjoy this novel, but things will make a bit more sense to you if you do. Beth is smart, highly self-motivated, and very witty. Okay, sarcasm comes naturally to her, but that just makes her more realistic to readers, right? I am also very excited, because it LOOKS like there will be a third story to this undead adventure. Yippee! I can hardly wait! Author Julie Kenner will win awards with this new series. Out-freaking-standing! *****
Reviewed by Detra Fitch of Huntress Reviews.
Average customer rating:
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Good Girls Do: Sex Chronicles of a Shameless Generation
Simona Chiose
Manufacturer: ECW Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
Popular Culture | Social Sciences | Nonfiction | Subjects | Books
General | Social Sciences | Nonfiction | Subjects | Books
General | Sociology | Social Sciences | Nonfiction | Subjects | Books
General | Women's Studies | Nonfiction | Subjects | Books
General | Sex | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
ASIN: 1550224239 |
Book Description
6 x 9 inches
Customer Reviews:
3.5 star read.......2002-09-29
I had a hard time classifying this book, since it's part autobiography and part research. From the title, it's obvious that it's partially about sex. I wasn't sure what to expect when I picked up this book, especially with that book art.
The writer is a Toronto journalist, so she's writing about places that I've been to, books that I've read, movies I've seen. It's interesting to see how the same set of events can affect people in very different ways. I don't agree with this writer's opinion on everything, but I do respect the research, care and time she's put into her book.
The topics covered in this book are dating, lesbian bathhouses, the definition of the word "slut", cyber-sex, transgendered men (women who want to become men), pornography, prostitution/escorts/strippers and marriage. It's an odd assortment of topics, especially since she chose to end the book with a discussion of marriage. Ms. Chiose admits that she considers personal freedom to be quite difficult to reconcile with marriage. But, goes on to discuss its merits and weaknesses.
If there's one theme that I could identify in this book, it would be female sexual choice. Ms. Chiose seems to be very stuck on the idea that women and men have very different choices available to them, though I don't agree with this. I hesitate to peg this book as a feminist book, since there are obviously degrees of feminism, though this book probably isn't on Martha Stewart's reading list!
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- A Dangerous Man: A Novel
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