Amazon.com
Are you just another AFC ("average frustrated chump") trying to meet an HB ("hot babe")? How would you like to "full-close" with a Penthouse Pet of the Year? The answers, my friend, are in Neil Strauss's entertaining book The Game. Strauss was a self-described chick repellant--complete with large, bumpy nose, small, beady eyes, glasses, balding head, and, worst of all, painful shyness around women. He felt like "half a man." That is, until a book editor asked him to investigate the community of pickup artists. Strauss's life was transformed. He spent two years bedding some fine chiquitas and studying with some of the North America's most suave gents--including the best of them all, the God of the pickup "community," a man named Mystery.
Mystery is an aspiring Toronto magician who charges $2,250 for a weekend pickup workshop. He is not much to look at: a cross between a vampire and a computer geek. But by using high-powered marketing techniques he's turned seduction into an effortless craft--even inventing his own vocabulary. His technique sounds like a car salesman's tip sheet: his main rule is FMAC--find, meet, attract, close. He employs the "three-second rule"--always approach a woman within three seconds of first seeing her in order to avoid getting shy. Other tricks: Intrigue a beautiful woman by pretending to be unaffected by her charm; also, never hit on a woman right away. Start with a disarming, innocent remark, like "Do you think magic spells work?" or "Oh my god, did you see those two girls fighting outside?" And finally, the most important characteristic of the pickup artist--smile.
After two years, Strauss ends up becoming almost as successful as Mystery, but he comes to an important realization. His techniques were actually off-putting to the woman he ended up falling in love with. And they never prepared him for actually having a relationship. After a while, he ran out of one-liners and had to have a real conversation. Still, The Game is a great read that may help some AFCs come out of their shells. --Alex Roslin
Book Description
Hidden somewhere, in nearly every major city in the world, is an underground seduction lair. And in these lairs, men trade the most devastatingly effective techniques ever invented to charm women. This is not fiction. These men really exist. They live together in houses known as Projects. And Neil Strauss, the bestselling author, spent two years living among them, using the pseudonym Style to protect his real-life identity. The result is one of the most explosive and controversial books of the year -- guaranteed to change the lives of men and transform the way women understand the opposite sex forever.
On his journey from AFC (average frustrated chump) to PUA (pick-up artist) to PUG (pick-up guru), Strauss not only shares scores of original seduction techniques but also has unforgettable encounters with the likes of Tom Cruise, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Heidi Fleiss, and Courtney Love. And then things really start to get strange -- and passions lead to betrayals lead to violence.
The Game is the story of one man's transformation from frog to prince -- to prisoner in the most unforgettable book of the year.
Customer Reviews:
Got so much more out of it than I could ever have imagined!.......2007-10-10
I was a depressed wreck before reading your book. Now I am a dating success. Another bestseller that I highly recommend- The Exclusive Layguide: When Dating and Having Sex with Incredibly Hot Women is No Longer Mirage Even If You Don't Look Like a Model or Don't Make a Fortune Both books are well worth the money!
Amazing Book!.......2007-10-10
It's 1:15 AM and I just finished this book. And I LOVED every page of it. I rarely read books if ever, but I read this one in two days.
A Fantastic Entertaining read!.......2007-10-08
This was one of the most fascinating and entertaining books I've ever read. Besides getting an inside look at the society of pick-up artists, I gained some interesting insight into human psychology. It's written in a wonderful narrative, story style which made it hard to put down.
It is a must read, whether you're interested in learning about how to pick up women or you're just wanting to read a great true story.
I highly recommend it!
Not a pickup guide - but worth the read.......2007-10-06
I recently purchased this book after reading the many favorable reviews on Amazon.com.
First off, this isn't a "how to pick up girls" book, though the process is covered in some depth. Instead, it is a story of a man's search for himself and purpose in life by learning the techniques of the master pickup artists. Sound shallow? I thought so too until I began to read some more.
What starts as an innocent enough goal (to be more successful with women) ends up becoming an obsession for the author, who is short, balding, and not generally considered to be attractive. Neil Strauss (who goes by the name "Style") makes the slow but steady transition from AFC (average, frustrated chump) to mPUA (master pickup artist).
As a single man in his late 20's, I can easily identify with the author's initial challenges. Approaching a beautiful woman is an intimidating prospect, especially for men with low self-esteem - nevermind that they have no idea what to say. However, under the wings of the mPUA Mystery, Style comes into his own and seems to have no problem picking up any woman he sets his eyes on.
Along his journey, the reader is introduced to a variety of strange characters, from pickup wannabees to psychotic women.
The book is great for anyone - men or women, who would like a glimpse of the pickup community.
One of the best.......2007-10-05
I've read a bunch of these books on how to meet women and usually I don't bother to write a review - they are so bad. I read The Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women Into Bed and thought it was good. In hindsight it would have been better to read The Game first. It just seems like the books fit better together that way and you should definitely read both. The story in this book is what makes it worth while. Forget the advice; you'll get all that from TMM and more but this book is the story and that makes it all the better, as you get to see the techniques in use. Perhaps the best point in the book is "Juggler was right; humor is the best way to get women." That is an interesting point because while both books talk about confidence and humor and while Juggler and some other guys have it, most of the other guys, including the author himself, don't really develop it - they just rely on all kinds of lines and schemes to impress women. To that end along with this book you must read God Is a Woman: Dating Disasters, which is by a comedian and which does include lots of in-depth pointers on building real confidence and humor. Without a doubt, these are the three books to read on women and I truly appreciate these guys putting their embarrassing moments out there for the rest of us to learn from.
Book Description
Once again, Dr. Laura Schlessinger strikes an important nerve in our culture. Jumping off her million–copy bestseller The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, which received an incredible response from readers worldwide, in THE PROPER CARE AND FEEDING OF MARRIAGE, Dr. Laura exposes the sensitive and loving truth that it is necessary to appreciate the the polarity between masculine and feminine in order to produce and sustain a wonderfully satisfying marriage. Both husbands and wives have power in their relationships, and each needs to realize this in order to ensure for themselves the personal satisfaction they yearn for. Using real–life examples from her call–in radio show, and giving us real–life solutions, Dr. Laura focuses on the typical mistakes made by men and women in their relationships, and shows us how marriages can come back from the brink of disaster and divorce.
Customer Reviews:
VERY condescending - poorly written.......2007-10-08
I don't know who edited this book but they did a poor job. While reading it, I kept thinking that my 7th Grade English teacher would NOT approve of that sentence!
It doesn't help any that Dr. Laura is a bully and can be a b**** on the radio. I just find no value in brow-beating people on national radio just to make yourself look intelligent or knowledgeable.
Personally, I don't think Dr. Laura has any moral authority to speak on this subject and she obviously does not have the writing abiltiy either.
The Proper Care and Feeding of a Marriage.......2007-09-16
Dr. Laura, you are amazing! I've been married 25 years to a wonderful man. We have been the best of parents, but have only just begun to be the best of friends and lovers! Thank-you so much for your timeless wisdom. I have already purchased "The Proper Care and Feeding of a Husband" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of a Marriage" for our married daughter and son-in-law. I have been recommending your book to everyone! May God continue to do His work of reconciliation with the help of books like yours. Sincerely, Lydia Sherrin
What a bunch of nonsense!.......2007-07-29
Please save your money and do not buy this drivel. Most of this book is a direct and harsh attack on feminists, and feminism in general. Guess what, Dr. Laura? It's 2007, not 1957. She has no practical or specific suggestions for improving a marriage, just general "smile and be pretty, open your legs and don't complain".
Proper Care & Feeding of Marriage Review.......2007-07-28
As with all Dr. Laura products I was very pleased with this purchase. Her books are so much more than meets the eye. She has a gift for showing how deep and wide even the smallest of things affect yourself and those around you. I would recommend this book to any married couple.
Dr Laura.......2007-07-16
Dr Laura gives down to earth excellent recommendations. It is just that most of us are too selfish to follow them. The recommendations are simple common sense solutions to marriage problems that we in our selfishness try to make into difficult solutions. Instead of thinking of our children's welfare we are only concerned with our own. We have our priorities in the wrong place. We need to grow up and become responsible adults.
Book Description
The companion book to Ian Kerner's smash success She Comes First, He Comes Next offers women his sometimes radical, always expert advice on everything from the nature of male desire to sex-techniques that work
While women everywhere benefited from Ian Kerner's sexual philosophy of female pleasure in She Comes First, now it's time to learn all about what turns men on and makes them stay on. In He Comes Next, Kerner covers every angle of male sexuality, illuminates the most common sex-life ruts, and offers practical, knowledgeable answers to women's most frequently asked questions. In his role as a sex therapist, Kerner has spoken with countless men not only about the best sex they ever had, but also perhaps more important about the best sex they never had -- experiences they always desired and fantasized about, but were afraid to share with their partners. In the spirit of "full exposure," He Comes Next is the closest you'll ever come to waking up in a guy's skin and knowing what truly makes him sexually tick.
Sexual pleasure goes beyond tips and tactics, however. Our sexual identities -- and the expression, gratification, and growth of these identities -- is fundamental to the success of our intimate relationships. With step-by-step and -- yes -- blow-by-blow detail, Kerner provides a clear, concise, achievable vision of sexual pleasure, one in which each technique forwards the action and where the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
Written in the same witty, insightful, and utterly readable voice that has made She Comes First and Be Honest -- You're Not That Into Him Either so popular, He Comes Next is the thinking woman's guide to enjoying sex to the fullest and ensuring that he does the same.
Download Description
The companion book to Ian Kerner's smash success She Comes First, He Comes Next offers women his sometimes radical, always expert advice on everything from the nature of male desire to sex-techniques that work While women everywhere benefited from Ian Kerner's sexual philosophy of female pleasure in She Comes First, now it's time to learn all about what turns men on and makes them stay on. In He Comes Next, Kerner covers every angle of male sexuality, illuminates the most common sex-life ruts, and offers practical, knowledgeable answers to women's most frequently asked questions. In his role as a sex therapist, Kerner has spoken with countless men not only about the best sex they ever had, but also perhaps more important about the best sex they never had -- experiences they always desired and fantasized about, but were afraid to share with their partners. In the spirit of "full exposure," He Comes Next is the closest you'll ever come to waking up in a guy's skin and knowing what truly makes him sexually tick. Sexual pleasure goes beyond tips and tactics, however. Our sexual identities -- and the expression, gratification, and growth of these identities -- is fundamental to the success of our intimate relationships. With step-by-step and -- yes -- blow-by-blow detail, Kerner provides a clear, concise, achievable vision of sexual pleasure, one in which each technique forwards the action and where the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Written in the same witty, insightful, and utterly readable voice that has made She Comes First and Be Honest -- You're Not That Into Him Either so popular, He Comes Next is the thinking woman's guide to enjoying sex to the fullest and ensuring that he does the same.
Customer Reviews:
Best Book Ever!!!!.......2007-09-12
This book isn't so much about the mechanics of sex as the nature of love and desire in a monogamous relationship. Don't get me wrong, there is plenty of great factual information about sex, but speaking as a woman, I have always been more curious about the deeper and more substantial mystery of love. This book really delves into that mystery and supplies a lot of expert relationship advice arising from the physical realities of the human body. For example, cuddling releases a hormone called oxcytocin in females and massage releases the hormone vassopressin in men. These hormones encourage feelings of closeness, fidelity and nesting in humans. Spending time massaging your guy actually helps build your relationship, and demanding that he spend time with his arm or leg over you will make you feel more appreciated. Even if you already knew this great little fact, you should still read this book because there are more of these cool tidbits and the book espouses a powerful new way for women to look at sex. Before I read this book, I was caught in a traditional outlook on female sexuality. I thought that sex just wasn't very fun for me and it wasn't really supposed to be fun for me. I had tried other books, but found that the "techniques" they suggested led to some embarrassing situations. I had asked my gynecologist if their was something wrong with me that made sex just no fun. I thought that porn was a necessary evil and didn't really understand why guys spend any time at all watching the stuff. After reading this book, I can truly say that I get why my guy seems to be the way he is. I have implemented some of the suggestions, and man alive, my sex life has been soooo much better. This is my first online review of a book and it is because I just had to come and gush about this book.
I got this book and "She Comes First" 15 days ago as my anniversary gift to my boyfriend and me. He has been too busy with work to read "She Comes First", so I started reading "He comes next." Just this book has been truly great for our relationship. The cover is very suggestive and one of the best parts of the book. While he is walking around the apartment, I will lounge on the chair reading. I have caught him staring at me a bunch. I know it turns him on to see me reading a book about how to turn him on. Further, the book is a page turner. I come home and the first thing I want to do is pick it up and read. I have to hold myself back to wait for my boyfriend to be around. Having read this book, I want to give it to my friend as a wedding present. This book is worth its weight in diamonds.
A great learning experience.......2007-08-17
I read She Comes First by the same author before I read this one which was just as educational for me as it is for a man. That being said, He Comes Next was quite a learning experience! While I am good at "it", there's always room for improvement in whatever you're doing and reading this book cemented that belief. It helped me understand how a man thinks and why and how he feels (not so different from us ladies) about sensitive issues. I expected the book to be primarily about learning to give a better oral sex like She Comes First is, but I was pleasantly surprised to find that there was much more to it than that. I did, however, appreciate the education I got about oral sex. I certainly hope to satisfy my partner better now-emotionally and physically.
A great big O.......2007-07-01
I'd give this book a big O for outstanding. This book goes beyond just serving as a how-to on having great sex, but first and foremost provides a how-to on having a great relationship. (And, believe it or not, the two really are connected.) Continually entertaining, informative, and insightful from cover to cover, this book will likely suck (ok, puns are hard to avoid in writing this review) you in from the start and keep your attention throughout. As the author conveys throughout the book, the secret to having an exciting relationship in the bedroom is to first have an exciting one outside of it
WOW! This is an Amazing Book!.......2007-05-13
I picked this book up on a whim and read it cover to cover without putting it down. The author truly "has a handle" on how to please a man. He is straightforward and provides easy to understand instruction. I would recommend this book to anyone. I was amazed at what I learned and just applying a few of the techniques in this book will maximize your and your partner's experience.
Always learning.......2007-05-13
I think any man will appreciate a woman reading this book-it's written intelligently and I believe will truly enhance the male sexual experience when employed by women (and in turn, the men will reciprocate!)
Average customer rating:
- Lots of ideas
- A Must Have!
- Doesn't Have Too Much To Offer (Rating: 5 out of 10- -2.5 stars)
- THE JIG IS UP!!!
- Basic but available elsewhere
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The Layguide: How to Seduce Women More Beautiful Than You Ever Dreamed Possible No Matter What You Look Like or How Much You Make
Tony Clink
Manufacturer: Citadel
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
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The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists
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The Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women Into Bed
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The Art of Seduction
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The Professional Bachelor Dating Guide - How to Exploit Her Inner Psycho
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Seduce Me! What Women Really Want (Seduce Me!)
ASIN: 0806526025 |
Customer Reviews:
Lots of ideas.......2007-09-18
This is basically a compilation of the wizdom and ideas of many of the great PUA's. A must have for the comunity.
A Must Have!.......2007-08-25
This book is a must have for every man who wants to have success with beautiful women. Another new bestseller which I highly recommend - The Exclusive Layguide: When Dating and Having Sex with Incredibly Hot Women is No Longer Mirage Even If You Don't Look Like a Model or Don't Make a Fortune
Amazing books!
Doesn't Have Too Much To Offer (Rating: 5 out of 10- -2.5 stars).......2007-08-14
So I read this book on how to help pick up women, because the title looks so promising. I read it and basically it doesn't have too much to offer. It doesn't give straight foward help, it kinda beats around the bush. I have learned some new things in this book, such as how to start conversations with women and ask openended questions with them (expect the phrase "Whats your story" about 1000 times). But basically, the information in this book is vague. It does not give instant results like we guys all planned to, but it gives you a starting point and hangs you out to dry on your road to being a PUA instead of a chump.
Being a 20 year old college student and living in a city full of females who are stuck up, I figured this book would help out. Unfortunately, it did not do me too much justice. If you guys found success in this book with the opposite sex, give yourself a pat on the back. Funny that female reviewers (like the one below me), might get a joke out of this book because they go around making others feel like crap. I for one really don't recommend this book because of it's vague subject matter. If you want to read a good book, I recommend How to Succeed with Women, because that book gives more info into detail. Peace.
THE JIG IS UP!!!.......2007-08-11
It has to be said, guys; WOMEN CAN READ! And we're reading these male dating guides faster than you are and we know all the tricks. Play them and you'll be labeled a loser before you get to flash that charming smile.
I have a college-age daughter and she and her friends have a collection of these books (The Game, Mystery Method, PBDG, etc.) that they pass back and forth and laugh about, belittling guys they've caught in the act of trying to employ what they've read. It's kinda sad.
And worse, every women's talk show has turned these books inside out. Any woman with a television will spot the act and you may lose out on a promising encounter.
Go back to being yourself. You're a lot more attractive than you think!
Basic but available elsewhere.......2007-07-27
While 'The Layguide' does cover the aspects of a succesful pickup, it is a fairly rudimentary guide. All the information in this book is also available in any of the sedution community sites. Fast Seduction has practically this entire book.
If you're truly interested, read 'the game' and then check out the seduction forums. It will benefit your wallet more...
Book Description
For ages women have come together over coffee, cocktails, or late-night phone chats to analyze the puzzling behavior of men.
He's afraid to get hurt again.
Maybe he doesn't want to ruin the friendship.
Maybe he's intimidated by me.
He just got out of a relationship.
Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo are here to say that -- despite good intentions -- you're wasting your time. Men are not complicated, although they'd like you to think they are. And there are no mixed messages.
The truth may be He's just not that into you.
Unfortunately, guys are too terrified to ever directly tell a woman "You're not the one." But their actions absolutely show how they feel.
HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU -- based on a popular episode of Sex and the City -- educates otherwise smart women on how to tell when a guy just doesn't like them enough, so they can stop wasting time making excuses for a dead-end relationship.
Reexamining familiar scenarios and classic mind-sets that keep us in unsatisfying relationships, Behrendt and Tuccillo's wise and wry understanding of the sexes spares women hours of waiting by the phone, obsessing over the details with sympathetic girlfriends, and hoping his mixed messages really mean "I'm in love with you and want to be with you."
HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU is provocative, hilarious, and, above all, intoxicatingly liberating. It deserves a place on every woman's night table. It knows you're a beautiful, smart, funny woman who deserves better. The next time you feel the need to start "figuring him out," consider the glorious thought that maybe He's just not that into you. And then set yourself loose to go find the one who is.
Download Description
He's Just Not That Into You is provocative, hilarious, and, above all, intoxicatingly liberating. It deserves a place on every woman's night table. It knows you're a beautiful, smart, funny woman who deserves better. The next time you feel the need to start "figuring him out," consider the glorious thought that maybe He's just not that into you. And then set yourself loose to go find the one who is.
Customer Reviews:
I should have written this book!.......2007-10-07
Many years ago the term was "GU (geographically undesireable)". I always said that if you lived 500 miles away and a man was into you, he'd make the trip and if you lived next door and he wasn't into you, it'd be too far to go. I never bought or read this book as I thought the male author was just pompous and sarcastic about women. But, read it in a waiting room and got to laugh out loud and enjoyed the style and bluntness of the responses (even if the letters were made up). I have always wondered why women can be intelligent, attractive, interesting and interested but, when a man walks into her life (or into the room or into view of her), she becomes willing to settle for whatever crumbs he throws her way. Even in a work environment, women support men over women! Wake up ladies, they don't give up their friends or lives for us. Why do we feel we must? (No, not ALL of us, but damn near all!).
Ladies, heed Greg & Liz's advice!.......2007-09-29
This audio book is pure genious! It's straight-shooting, blunt, and full of "tough love" which hopefully will knock some sense into those of us who hang on to guys way too long hoping things will "get better". It's an easy listen, because you know it speaks to you. You will truly feel that Greg & Liz are your caring friends or siblings when you listen to their advice. I only wish Greg's live comedy show incorporated some of the material in the book, rather than the endless vulgarity he seems to think is necessary to be funny in a live performance. Stick to writing books, Greg! That's where your true talent is...
Ouch! But True!.......2007-09-19
What I like most about this book is that it doesn't allow any wiggle room for excuses. (My excuses *love* wiggle room.) The truth isn't always fuzzy but it certainly sets me free.
It's freeing for me to know that I'm strong enough to deal with the truth. Because life goes on - fabulously well - whether or not he calls. I think this book makes women stronger. No more skirting the issues. Walk tall. Besides we look a lot more attractive that way!
Marginal, obvious advice for women in denial........2007-09-08
It's hard to believe there is a market for this book. I considered it so bad I wasn't even going to drag it over the public library and donate it. I was ready to pitch this book into the garbage after only half an hour of reading, but I struggled on over several weeks, reading little bits at a time thinking perhaps I just wasn't appreciating the book's attempts at New York humor.
The marginal advice filling it still doesn't seem worth the effort of carrying the book two blocks to the library. Its success must be a symptom of how confusing the role of the modern, liberated feminist in America has become? I suppose the book is based on the folklore that "love blinds." How else could perfectly sensible women be so confused as to not see the obvious? This is a book for women who are blind, in denial, desperate, confused, dumb, from Venus, totally inexperienced, spending too much time in psychoanalysis, spending too much time rationalizing everything some guy they think they want to marry says or does to the point of reaching a hopeful conclusion when all the facts say the opposite.
Save your money. The "Dear Abby, Annie, Beth, etc." columns in most newspapers provide much better advice than this lightweight tome that was probably only quickly written to separate a lot of very confused and naive women from their hard-earned money. Don't over-analyze men. Like politicians don't pay any attention to what they say unless it happens to match how they act. Men are pretty uncomplicated as a group. Women who spend hours dissecting them over lunch with their girlfriends can't even be certain the people providing them support don't have a different agenda as far as their success in love is concerned. If you want to know more about men, talk to your mother and lots and lots of men friends who aren't just interested in getting into your panties and then with their curiosity satisfied, are ready to move on to the next challenge. Male co-workers or acquaintances are much better sources of advice than this book.
This volume really wasn't worth this much time to review, but since so many readers seemed to think it contains "Insights from Heaven" I think they've got their directions confused. At best the information provided is so obvious that a child should be able to recognize it. Much of the more complicated advice is bull, or seems like it might have come from a laughing, horned and hoofed creature residing in a place far away from Heaven and hotter than the planet Venus.
This book is CLASSIC! .......2007-09-06
A must read for every smart woman! Another great book that I love and recommend - How to be a Super Hot Woman: 339 Tips to Make Every Man Fall in Love with You and Every Woman Envy You
Average customer rating:
- Almost inspiring
- Where's my book.
- On My Own: The Art of Being a Woman Alone
- The power of flying solo
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On My Own: The Art of Being a Woman Alone
Florence Falk
Manufacturer: Harmony
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover
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ASIN: 1400098106
Release Date: 2007-03-20 |
Book Description
At some point over the course of the average American woman’s life, she will find herself alone, whether she is divorced, widowed, single, or in a loveless, isolating relationship. And when that time comes, it is likely that she will be at a loss as to how to handle it. As a society, we have an unspoken but omnipresent belief that a woman alone is an outcast, inherently flawed in some way. In this invigorating, supportive book, psychotherapist Florence Falk aims to take the fear, doubt, confusion, and helplessness out of being a woman alone. Falk invites all women to find their own paths toward an authentic selfhood, to discover the pleasures and riches of solitude, and to reconnect with others through a newfound sense of self-confidence.
Like so many women before her, Florence Falk found herself divorced, alone, and unsure of herself. Soon she realized that by embracing her solitude for what it was—a potentially enriching and life-altering experience—she could turn what once would have felt like “loneliness” into a far more positive and empowered “aloneness.” Falk notes that each of us has two opposing drives: one causes us to yearn to make close connections with others, and the other pulls us back into ourselves, into the need for selfhood and certainty that can only be shaped through solitude. In order to be whole, she says, we must heed both of those impulses. But in our modern culture, the former is stressed while the latter is neglected, even vilified. On My Own boldly shifts that paradigm.
With inspiring, intimate stories of women from all backgrounds, Falk illuminates the essential role that being alone plays in women’s lives. Whether she is in a stable relationship or on her own, every woman must learn to be by herself; for if she can be fully free, unfettered by society’s stigmas about being alone, life and all its possibilities will open up for her. And as Falk demonstrates, once a woman has discovered the richness of solitude, she is not likely to give it up so easily.
Customer Reviews:
Almost inspiring.......2007-08-24
The Art of Being a Woman Alone - now there's a subject which needed to be addressed. Women today (and for most of recorded history) have been culturally expected - even driven - to sacrifice themselves for others. More recently, ideals emerged which allowed women to seek their own interests and careers, and in todays world, most women know instinctively that they HAVE to be able to support themselves (and children if they have them) as men are no longer required to support them.
This, understandably, creates pressure.
In our modern drive to have everything, women have lost their Self. By losing one's Self, according to Falk, a person loses the ability to stand alone, to be self-sufficient, to enjoy solitude without being lonely and bereft. In addition, when one's Self is damaged or missing, there is nothing protecting you from psychic damage from friends, lovers, and the world in general.
In many ways, our culture resists the import of a woman who is able to stand alone. If you are valuing your own self, you are selfish - a horrible accusation to make of any girl or mother. If you cultivate your own interests, or enjoy your own company, you are self-absorbed - again, a negative. Falk wants us to take joy in selfishness, as we re-imagine ourselves and make peace with who we truly are. She wishes that more women would take time to be self-absorbed, to glory in the creative, WHOLE person who has been submerged for so long by our society, our relationships, and abuse.
Which brings me to the "almost inspiring." Falk finds it necessary to trace in microscopic detail the failed relationships, parental and peer abuse, and overarching societal pressure which causes modern women to lose their Self. This is an amazing downer in a book intended to inspire. In those pages (which are a majority of the book) there is a passivity - a helplessness in the face of a powerful and malevolent grinding cultural poverty. Comparing this to her stirring call for Self-awareness, I found it difficult when she failed to transfer this individual awareness into culture at large.
One example speaks of a girl, gifted and pretty, from an "academic" hippie family, and the teasing and social abuse she suffered at middle and high school. The girl, now a middle-aged woman, is only now dealing with this pain. Nowhere is it suggested that if the girl had a Self-aware mentor, she could have learned to stand ALONE and to rise above the taunts of her peers. Repeatedly, women and girls in her examples are left with gaping psychic wounds which are bemoaned as evil and spirit-breaking, but with no counter-examples to show HOW, if one is taught to grow into her Self from the start, those wounds could be minimized or avoided.
Much of this comes from the author's own experiences, as late in life she rediscovered herself and fought free of years of living for others. I do applaud women who, at any age, realize that no matter what or who is in your life, a healthy person's focus must be on themselves FIRST. However, I think that a celebration of women's rights to be whole people in themselves should try to show how to achieve that from the start, rather than passively accepting the damage until some midlife "eureka" is reached.
In spite of this, this book is stirring and powerful, and begs for women to accept that we CAN be alone and powerful, we CAN be at peace with our true Selves, and we CAN recover from childhood trauma and the pressures of life. This is an important message for everyone.
Where's my book. .......2007-07-07
I'd love to write a review and I'd love to have the book, but apparently it was sent to my old address, wasn't forwarded, and was sent back. I'd love it if you'd reship it to me at my new address: Barb Haynes, 108 Panico Trail, Murphy, NC 28907. Thanks
On My Own: The Art of Being a Woman Alone.......2007-05-14
This book was in great shape and was very inspirational. I have recommended it to several women of my age group.
The power of flying solo.......2007-04-17
On My Own is a revolutionary book. Florence Falk offers deep insight about the social and cultural frames that encourage women to see being alone as a "problem". Beautifully written, it traces, with true sensitivity, the many complex and often conflicting forces that 'contribute' to a woman's 'aloneness'. She boldly encourage us to shatter the paradigm, and reframes solitude as a positive state, a place of power, to be celebrated and explored with enthusiasm.
Around this country, millions of women, single or deeply lonely in their relationships, wrestle with questions about the role and place of partnership in their lives. This remarkable book offers us a way to see our aloneness in a new way....helping us to celebrate our solitude as a state of liberation.
It's hard to imagine a woman whose life would not be touched by reading this book. For many women, Falk's message will come as a key, unlocking a door they may never have known was even there.... and lives will change, forever. For some, perhaps, it will be revolutionary, and the change will come with great force. For others, it may be like a small stone, dropped into water, the rings rippling out gently, wider and wider... but either way, I am convinced, lives will transform. Give this book to a woman you know who is ready for freedom!
Customer Reviews:
Interesting but not scientific.......2007-09-25
How does a person become a spiritual/sex guru? I was curious and decided to purchase and read this book.
I did some research on David Deida, and it appears he has no formal education on either psychology or human sexuality. What he does appear to have, however, are powerful insights into eastern beliefs on sexuality greatly differing from our own western version.
Although the author sites absolutely no scientific rationale to provide support for his views, I found his views to be fascinating. For example, in a chapter "Stop Hoping for Your Women to Get Easier":
"So she will test you. She might not be fully conscious of why she is doing it, but she will poke your weak spots, especially in moments of your superficial success, in order to feel your strength. If you collapse, you've flunked the test....It never ends. A woman will always test her man for the pleasure of feeling his strength in loving, his capacity to transcend nuisance, his persistence in his own truth, and his capacity to share that truth in love with her, even when she is complaining- especially when she is complaining."
The author provides a refreshing eastern perspective on sexuality, masculinity, and feminity. It isn't entirely politically correct. But it is sexually correct. I am sure not all feminists would agree with the author's views. But those who seek the truth will find the author's unique perspective to be invigorating as having a good night with a woman who loves, and therefore tests, him.
MUST reading for all men.......2007-09-20
This is the 'how-to" book our fathers could never write (God bless them), and the best men's book on relationship I've ever read. Not because it teaches you tricks, or how to please a woman, but because it it shows men how to stand in our masculine power as our true selves, rather than someone who denies themselves to please others. I could never be in the incredible relationship I'm in today without the lessons I've learned from this book, and that includes having clear boundaries where self respect, awareness, integrity and purpose must come first in our lives. We always get the relationship we deserve...this book helps us deserve more. I use this book as a basis for the men's group I'm leading.
Great look at sex in loving relationships.......2007-09-09
I was impressed at the level of honesty by the author. He was very open about his desires and fantasies, and how these can exist in a committed relationship. He really teaches that it is not our dark side that is inappropriate, but how we handle it.
His views on the relationship dynamic were also helpful. The male and female priorities are inherently different, and once we accept these differences, love can actually exist. This theory has helped me in my personal life and relationships.
I would recommend this book to anyone that is willing to be honest about their relationships and sexual life.
Unravel the mysterious behavior of women!.......2007-08-30
Deida gives guys a great guide to understanding the often maddening behavior of their woman. He explains what they are really desiring and how we can satisfy those desires.
I've been astounded at the reactions I get from girls who I share his ideas with. They unanimously confirm that he's right on track. I wish I had known these secrets sooner in life!
A must read for any guy who wants a fulfilling relationship rather then a maddening one. Also, woman could also learn a lot about themselves and their guys by reading this.
totally made up .......2007-08-26
The author of this book must be laughing all the way to the bank. He has no credentials and doesn't support anything he says with any research - just his own opinion. Seems to be written for the man who only wants to get ahead - and this makes him feel good about it. Come on guys - we're talking the 1950s male mindset....
Amazon.com
According to most relationship books, the key to a solid marriage is communication, communication, communication. Phooey, says John Gottman, Ph.D., author of the much-lauded Why Marriages Succeed or Fail. There's much more to a solid, "emotionally intelligent" marriage than sharing every feeling and thought, he points out--though most couples therapists ineffectively (and expensively) harp on these concepts.
Gottman, the director of the Gottman Institute, has found through studying hundreds of couples in his "love lab" that it only takes five minutes for him to predict--with 91 percent accuracy--which couples will eventually divorce. He shares the four not-so-obvious signs of a troubled relationship that he looks for, using sometimes amusing passages from his sessions with married couples. (One standout is Rory, the pediatrician who didn't know the name of the family dog because he spent so much time at work.)
Gottman debunks many myths about divorce (primary among them that affairs are at the root of most splits). He also reveals surprising facts about couples who stay together. They do engage in screaming matches. And they certainly don't resolve every problem. "Take Allan and Betty," he writes. "When Allan gets annoyed at Betty, he turns on ESPN. When Betty is upset with him, she heads for the mall. Then they regroup and go on as if nothing's happened. Never in forty-five years of marriage have they sat down to have a 'dialogue' about their relationship." While this may sound like a couple in trouble, Gottman found that they pass the love-lab tests and say honestly that "they are both very satisfied with their relationship and they love each other deeply."
Through a series of in-depth quizzes, checklists, and exercises, similar to the ones he uses in his workshops, Gottman provides the framework for coping with differences and strengthening your marriage. His profiles of troubled couples rescued from the brink of divorce (including that of Rory, the out-of-touch doctor) and those of still-happy couples who reinvigorate their relationships are equally enlightening. --Erica Jorgensen
Book Description
Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, so Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. As a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the founder and director of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over the course of many years. His findings, and his heavily attended workshops, have already turned around thousands of faltering marriages.
This book is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward in their approach, yet profound in their effect, these principles teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Being thoughtful about ordinary matters provides spouses with a solid foundation for resolving conflict when it does occur and finding strategies for living with those issues that cannot be resolved.
Packed with questionnaires and exercises whose effectiveness has been proven in Dr. Gottman's workshops,
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the result of Dr. John Gottman's many years of closely observing thousands of marriages. This kind of longitudinal research has never been done before. Based on his findings, he has culled seven principles essential to the success of any marriage.
Maintain a love map.
Foster fondness and admiration.
Turn toward instead of away.
Accept influence.
Solve solvable conflicts.
Cope with conflicts you can't resolve.
Create shared meaning.
Dr. Gottman's unique questionnaires and exercises will guide couples on the road to revitalizing their marriage, or making a strong one even better.
Download Description
John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage by using rigorous scientific procedures to observe the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over many years. Here is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship.
Packed with practical questionnaires and exercises, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.
"An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent -- and long-lasting -- marriage."
DANIEL GOLEMAN, AUTHOR OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
"Gottman stays refreshingly down to earth, rather than on Mars and Venus."
BILL MARVEL AND GEOFFREY NORMAN, AMERICAN WAY
"Gottman comes to this endeavor with the best of qualifications: he's got the spirit of a scientist and the soul of a romantic."
NEWSWEEK
"Twenty-five years of landmark marital research."
USA TODAY
"Offers something every relationship can benefit from."
SEATTLE POST-INTELLIGENCER
"Astonishing new research!"
WOMAN'S WORLD
Customer Reviews:
A must for couples considering marriage/long-term partnership.......2007-09-30
My fiancee and I decided to be proactive and visit a psychologist before we had any relationship issues and before we got married. He recommended Gottman to us, and what a fabulous recommendation it was! Reading "Seven Principles" really illustrated with lucidity what it was about my parents' marriage that has always bothered me (contempt from my mother in their arguments) and gave clear steps on how to avoid this and other relationship killers. It was very reaffirming in that it doesn't tell couples not to fight (because how realistic is that?), but teaches them how to fight and how to agree to disagree. My fiancee is in the process of reading it now, and I'm excited for him to finish so we can talk it over. The last principle, in particular, is really great for people who already have solid relationships...it made me excited to get married!
A really excellent book overall, Gottman's writing style is clear and concise!
A must have in protecting one's marriage!.......2007-09-26
This book is absolutely essential in the treatment of marriage or couple counseling, as well as can be used by anyone interested in strengthening their own marriage/relationships. It is helpful because it is basic, layed out in a very simplistic manner, and is an easy reader. The book offers concrete instructions for couples on how to improve their closeness, connection, and communication. It is also based on scientific studies thereby offering value and effectiveness of the techniques illustrated in the book. I would highly recommend it for struggling couples, those considering divorce, as well as couples with a good relationship seeking a closer bond.
researched through many, this one the best .......2007-09-05
This author uses common sense and clinical study and marries the 2 together,
He gives simple, thought provoking questions and daily/weekly effective deeds to do. Insightful and effective. We're using it to help others but aNYONE can take a few hints from this even MR and MRS perfectly happy.
seven principles of making a marriage work.......2007-08-23
great book that I had initially borrowed from my therapist. Was enlighteneing. Made me recognize a lot about myself and my spouse. I recommend it for newleyweds and other couples as well; I myself have been married for 10 years. It can be used preventitively or as a couselling guide or just to provide some insight into what you may be feeling or going through with a significant other. It made me realize my thoughts and actions were not "crazy" but rather common.
Great Resource.......2007-08-16
I use Dr. Gottman's marriage principles in my private practice with great success. I highly recommend this book.
Book Description
5-STAR HIGHEST RATING: "An exceptional book"
Most single women have experienced the sinking feeling of fishing for a date from someone special without receiving so much as a nibble. It is enough to make women wonder if there is something wrong with their bait.
Steve Nakamoto, a former communications/human relations instructor for Dale Carnegie & Associates, NLP personal development trainer for motivational expert Tony Robbins, and professional international tour director understands these feelings. He has written an intelligent, funny, and wise book for women who are looking to catch a guy---hook, line, and sinker. In this entertaining look at relationships, he compares men to fish who are secretly longing to be caught. Women, on the other hand, are wily yet compassionate anglers looking to reel in the big one.
Men Are Like Fish will take readers on a fact-packed fishing trip where they will learn tips on how to initiate great relationships or enhance the ones they already have. The book is sweetly old-fashioned, yet wickedly on target. Nakamoto has also sprinkled zippy cartoons/illustrations and unusually helpful quotes throughout the book.
While the title might imply a single-minded effort to drag an unsuspecting man into the net, the book is actually somewhat Zenlike. It will help women to improve their self-images, broaden their interests, and accentuate the unique qualities they possess that will naturally draw good relationships to them. Nakamoto also spends a good deal of time discussing the end of relationships. He shows women how to let go gracefully, with as little pain as possible, so that they can continue to grow without harboring bitterness.
Steve uses several interesting examples from his own life, sharing many of his triumphs and failures with a good-natured sense of humor. Nakamoto shares one especially funny story about a tight jeans contest where he lost a shapely girlfriend/contestant to judge Clint Eastwood. He writes, "I consoled myself with the thought that Deanna must have had a tough choice: Clint Eastwood (People Weekly's 2001 #2 most popular screen actor of all time) or Steve Nakamoto? It could have gone either way, right?"
Nakamoto also shares good, solid advice. One especially helpful area is "Favorite Fishing Holes: 101 Hot Spots Where the Big Ones Are Biting." It consists of a list of fun and inexpensive activities and places to explore that are bound to be interesting, even if they do not spark a new love affair. Among the many activities that Nakamoto recommends are going to art gallery openings, visiting wineries for wine tasting and tours, and taking city tours or day trips in one's own city or in a nearby town.
Nakamoto does not guarantee eternal love for readers. However, both single women looking for that perfect catch and those seeking to recapture the romance of an exciting relationship will find great value here. Men Are Like Fish is guaranteed to give even the most jaded and discouraged romantic angler a new, more joyful perspective on the oldest sport in the world.
--- Reviewed by ForeWordReviews.com
Customer Reviews:
So good!.......2007-10-10
I loved this book so much, I sent an email to the author. I have never done that before. It is such a witty, intelligent and fun read. I learned a lot from this book. Buy this book! You will not be sorry. It is so entertaining and so full of good information. I am about to purchase Dating Rocks by the same author. Thank you Steve!
How to hook and land the big one.......2007-10-01
I really enjoyed this book, both for its invaluable information and humor.
We can talk until we're blue in the face.... truly, who can reveal what men love in women more accurately than a man?
Some of the revelations may not be considered in the realm of today's "political correctness", but where does pc get you in the real world, seriously? His intention to is to help, not judge. You have to ask yourself...is a few minutes of discomfort worth a potential lifetime of happiness? Men and women, though we do desire same things, are wired differently. We have to treat these differences with respect, rather than aversion, in order to succeed. Men are very observant regarding whether a woman is approving or disapproving of them. (Guess which attitude generates the more favorable response toward you?)
He sets the fishing tone succinctly in Chapter 3, "The Metaphor", men are like fish. This makes it not only palatable, but useful throughout the rest of the book. Some more chapters: "Fishing Lessons", improve your chances with preparation, "Beginners Luck", recapture your lost innocence, "The Bait", make your attraction more powerful, "The Hook", use only the most secure devices, "The Big Fish", decide exactly what you want to catch, "Fishing Holes", invest your time in the best spots, "The Cast", don't spook away men with bad approaches, etc. And alot more goodies.
One thing he stresses throughout is to embrace your femininity. Once you do this, men can, too. Face it...too many women have jettisoned their womanly essence, much to the extreme disappointment of men. Opposites define eachother.
My best to all of you....happy landing!
Outstanding!.......2007-08-14
This is great book. Every woman should read it. You will be surprised how iformative this book is!
But you must read another new besteller which I highly recommend - "How to be a Super Hot Woman: 339 Tips to Make Every Man Fall in Love with You and Every Woman Envy You" by Mandy Simons
These books are fascinating!
very well written.......2007-07-23
it's simple and entertaining, you learn and realize through the analogy of fishing mechanism, which makes this book more entertaining as supposed to other typical standard "text book" style. I also like his writing style, short and concise, and to the point, it makes you realize many things while reading it. The author has included many great proverbs from all countries and all times, some of them are exceptionally valuable and worthwhile. I have to say this is one of the few books that I find entertaining to read, at the same time, enlightening.
men are like fish.......2007-07-08
some good strategies to get the one you really want. unfortunaltely two have to agree!
Book Description
In his extraordinary new book, Terrence Real, distinguished therapist and bestselling author, presents a long overdue message that women need to hear: You aren’t crazy–you’re right!
Women have changed in the last twenty-five years–they have become powerful, independent, self-confident, and happy. Yet many men remain irresponsible and emotionally detached. They don’t know how to respond to frustrated partners who just want their mates to show up and grow up.
Enter the good news: In this revolutionary book, Real shows women how to master the new rules of twenty-first-century marriage by offering them a set of effective tools with which they can create the truly intimate relationship that they desire and deserve. He identifies five non-starters to avoid and shares practical strategies for bringing honesty, passion, and joy back to even the most difficult relationship. Using his experience helping thousands of couples shift from despair to profound emotional closeness, Real guides you through the process of relationship repair with exercises that you can do alone or with your partner. With this program you’ll discover how to
- identify and articulate your wants and needs
- listen well and respond generously
- set limits, and stand up for yourself
- embrace and appreciate what you have
- know when to seek outside help
The New Rules of Marriage will introduce you to a radically new kind of relationship, one based on the idea that every woman has the power to transform her marriage, while men, given the right support, have it in them to rise to the occasion.
We have never wanted so much from our relationships as we do today. More than any other generation, we yearn for our mates to be lifelong friends and lovers. The New Rules of Marriage shows us how to fulfill this courageous and uncompromising new vision.
Customer Reviews:
WOW.......2007-09-27
This book is amazing. Actual steps and language to help couples discuss and work through really important issues. Makes sense to both male and female. Great "case studies" examples of principles in action. Really really like this book.
New Rules an interesting read........2007-09-20
I saw the author on television talking about the book and was intrigued enough to buy it. It was well worth the price.
Terrence Real does a great job of including real-life examples to support his theories of relationship building.
I recommend it highly.
A Must Read, Whether in a Good or Poor or Future Relationship!.......2007-06-18
This is the BEST relationship book that I would recommend people read no matter if you are in a good, solid relationship and want to keep it that way, in a rocky relationship that you'd like to improve, or just thinking about someday being in a relationship. In fact, it is excellent even for those who are not going to be married - just socially interacting with other human beings!! Written by Terrence Real (a family therapist, who also specializes in male depression) this book certainly makes MY FRIENDS MUST READ list. Chapters are divided and activities arranged in such a way that individuals can work thru the book on their own (and see true positive changes in their relationships - with partners or friends) OR you can work thru it as a couple in addition to individual work. Real does makes some inaccurate statements about feminism and the feminist movements in our country, but I guess no book can be perfect and not everyone has background education in Women's Studies. :)
Every Couple's Read.......2007-06-15
If you are serious about your relationship, and both interested in learning your limitations, this is an exceptional resource.
The author describes the difference between men (who retreat into their caves to avoid intimacy and work on problems) and women (who retreat into anger to avoid problems and end up limiting initimacy). Becoming self aware is an essential aspect of operating in the world, if we are willing to be honest about our behaviors we can become more functional.
I also listened to the Audio version of the book and it was much more informative to hear the examples and conversations in this format. Having a tendency to drift when I read such examples, hearing them was better.
The behaviors identified, practices provided, and exercises are well worth the effort. We don't expect ourselves to be trained in our occupations, why is it we expect that we will be perfectly skilled to succeed in relationship? It takes learning, and enough esteem to realize we don't know everything about making it work.
This is a great start to intimate health.
Couple Conflict.......2007-05-09
Understand why marriage is so difficult in today's world, and how to handle conflict with your spouse.
Books:
- The Glass Castle: A Memoir
- The Ice Man: Confessions of a Mafia Contract Killer
- The Illustrated Encyclopedia of Essential Oils: The Complete Guide to the Use of Oils in Aromatherapy and Herbalism (Illustrated Encyclopedia)
- The Large Scale Structure of Space-Time (Cambridge Monographs on Mathematical Physics)
- The Lightkeeper
- The Mislaid Magician or Ten Years After
- The Mystery of Marriage 20th Anniversary Edition: Meditations on the Miracle
- The Perfect Rake (Berkley Sensation)
- The Red Hat Society Cookbook
- Thick Face, Black Heart: The Warrior Philosophy for Conquering the Challenges of Business and Life
Books Index
Books Home
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- History: Fiction or Science
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- Cat: Seventeenth Anniversary Edition
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- Black Frontiersman: The Memoirs of Henry O. Flipper : First Black Graduate of West Point
The Layguide: How to Seduce Women More Beautiful Than You Ever Dreamed Possible No Matter What You Look Like or How Much You Make
Get Anyone to Do Anything: Never Feel Powerless Again--With Psychological Secrets to Control and Influence Every Situation
NLP: The New Technology of Achievement
