Book Description
Framed with both humor and compassion, the book defines the top ten characteristics that illuminate the minds and hearts of children with autism. Ellen's personal experiences as a parent, an autism columnist, and a contributor to numerous parenting magazines coalesce to create a guide for all who come in contact with a child on the autism spectrum.
Customer Reviews:
Good book but could be an article.......2007-10-05
The author says the book was originally an article she wrote. She got a huge response and made the article into a book. I think the desired effect of the book isn't probably any better than an article. The ten things are good ones, but maybe not enough for a book. This is a worthwhile book if you are new to working with kids with autism/autism-like features. It is a worthwhile book if you are a parent have feel like you have no clue how to interact with your child (though you do -- use your heart, do what you feel led to. Pray. God will help). As far as learning anything earth-shattering -- no. It is common sense.
Great Quick read.......2007-10-03
This book is a great way to help family and friends learn more about Autism. The book is fast and informative. Anyone can understand it's concepts and empowers people to do something for those affected by Autism in their life.
A Keeper.......2007-10-02
It hasn't been that long since I discovered that Sam has some form of Autism, still not clear what form although I definitely have some strong opinions, but this is the first book I picked up that addresses children and autism specifically.
I am reminded of when I had a stillborn baby.
I had to take my time before I could read anything about stillbirth. It was too painful for a while to even crack open a book.
That is how this has been, there has been quite a bit of grief associated with this realization, so when I began to read Ellen Notbohn's book the tears began to flow because I knew I had found a kindred spirit. The first big distinction she makes, as reviewers have noted, is that my child has autism, he is not "autistic." He is not the disorder. He is Sam, still perfect little Sam, who just so happens to have autism. It is not just semantics and word order, it is state-of-heart.
This invaluable resource gives a short-nuts-and-bolts approach in the beginning and then embellishes with detailed ideas and suggestions for living this life with your child.
I kept thinking, "If I had read this last year, I would have recognized Sam in the pages, we wouldn't be in this educational quagmire we are in..." and then I remembered another very important tidbit in the book.
Patience. Patience. Patience.
There are numerous gems in this title. I wish I had read it years ago, so I could recognize this possibility in my child.
It is highly engaging, practical and easy to follow. I will share it with other family members so they will understand how to relate to my little boy.
A Great Read!!.......2007-09-04
Get it! Read it! This was a wonderful book that put so many things into perspective for me. I have ordered more copies to give to grandparents and my child's teacher. Excellent book!
A good resource for educating friends and family.......2007-08-26
This book is a good, quick read. It provides a broad overview of the typical symptoms associated with ASD. I don't know if I'd rush out and buy a copy for everyone I know, though. Some chapters explain extreme cases of the disorder. I would read it, then maybe recommend certain chapters to friends and family based on your child's individual personality. Maybe even make notes about your child in the margin and then pass the book around. Since ASD is really different in every child, it's hard to make an exact description of the "Ten Things" they'd want you to know. However, the author does make a good attempt, and she presents the information in a way that is easy to understand.
Book Description
"Birthdays may be difficult for me."
"I want you to take the initiative in opening conversations about my birth family."
"When I act out my fears in obnoxious ways, please hang in there with me."
"I am afraid you will abandon me."
The voices of adopted children are poignant, questioning. And they tell a familiar story of loss, fear, and hope. This extraordinary book, written by a woman who was adopted herself, gives voice to children's unspoken concerns, and shows adoptive parents how to free their kids from feelings of fear, abandonment, and shame.
With warmth and candor, Sherrie Eldridge reveals the twenty complex emotional issues you must understand to nurture the child you love--that he must grieve his loss now if he is to receive love fully in the future--that she needs honest information about her birth family no matter how painful the details may be--and that although he may choose to search for his birth family, he will always rely on you to be his parents.
Filled with powerful insights from children, parents, and experts in the field, plus practical strategies and case histories that will ring true for every adoptive family,
Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew is an invaluable guide to the complex emotions that take up residence within the heart of the adopted child--and within the adoptive home.
Customer Reviews:
Great Book for Adoptive Parents and possibly Adoptee's.......2007-09-27
I have just begun reading this book but can already tell it is going to be very helpful for my husband and I and how we bring up our daughter. It is essential to know these things beforehand and to be equipped for how to deal with them.
Book review.......2007-09-13
This is an awesome book and filled with valuable and useful information for ALL parties within the adoption triad!
Scary book.......2007-08-12
I would NOT recommend this book to anyone considering adoption and the recommendations that Ms. Eldridge gives for adoptive children could be very psychologically harmful to children.
Focuses on negative, but is realistic.......2007-08-09
I am adopting 2 boys and when I first read this book it totally scared me! It seemed like there was no way that anything positive could come out of adoption. At the same time, my older sister was adopted as a child and I could see so much of what was written in what played out in my family growing up.
This book is real and it is important to learn from the pain others have gone through to try to ease that for the future generations of adopted children. This book does complain - that's often what we do. But while doing so, it sheds light on the internal pain that many people who have been adopted can feel.
Do not read this book as your sole source of information though. There are a number of books that offer practical advice that will give hope and understanding on how to talk positively about adoption, how to love your entire family without guilt, and how to give the love that the child needs.
On a side note: I let my mom read this book and at first she was upset by it. She had done the best job she could to raise her adopted child just as she did the rest of us. After some time away from the book and after several talks, she came to understand that by "ignoring" the differences she was not helping her daughter and just because her daughter didn't bring up the adoption didn't mean that she wasn't thinking about it all the time.
Yesterday to Today: A book I hated 5 years ago is suddenly really good.........2007-08-01
Adopted children have a range of specific needs as a result of their backgrounds. These are described by Sherrie Eldridge in her book "Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew".
As an adoptee and an adoptive mom, it had been for many years my opinion that people wrote adoption books with the main objective of making money or becoming an 'expert'. I have seen a few really good ones over the years, and quite a few bad ones. When the following book crept across my review-table years ago, I barely gave it a glance, mentally classifying it as more rubbish about how adopted kids are particularly messed up.
Oh, how time can change our thinking! Some of my kids are older now and we have walked through their developmental changes, their yearnings, their wonderings. That search-for-self can be so very painful, but does it always have to be? And must every child agonize through it alone? I was wrong about this book. I have recognized that it is a useful guide to parents, and I want to give it my highest recommendation today.
Each month I will review one or two books that are think are the Good Ones. They will not all be newly published. Some, like this one, will be re-visited and given the proper review that I now know they deserve. In fact, in the review department, I have more books than I can possibly read. If you are a good writer and are experienced with reviewing, please contact me and I'll be glad to have publishers send samples!
Excerpt from Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew
By Sherrie Eldridge (Dell Publishing)
The special needs of adopted children as expressed in the child's words:
Educational Needs :
* I need to be taught that adoption is both wonderful and painful, presenting lifelong challenges for everyone involved.
* I need to know my adoption story first, then my birth story and birth family.
* I need to be taught healthy ways for getting my special needs met.
* I need to be prepared for hurtful things others may say about adoption and about me as and adopted person.
Emotional Needs:
I need help in recognizing my adoption loss and grieving it
I need to be assured that my birth parents' decision not to parent me had nothing to do with anything defective in me.
I need help in learning to deal with my fears of rejection-to learn that absence doesn't mean abandonment, or a closed door that I have dome something wrong.
I need permission to express all my adoption feelings and fantasies.
Validation Needs :
* I need validation of my dual heritage (biological and adoptive).
* I need to be assured often that I am welcome and worthy.
* I need to be reminded often by my adoptive parents that they delight in my biological differences and appreciate my birth family's unique contribution to our family through me.
Relational Needs:
* I need friendships with other adopted persons.
* I need to be taught that there is a time to consider searching for my birth family and a time to give up searching.
* I need to be reminded that if I am rejected by my birth family, the rejection is about them, not me.
Spiritual Needs :
* I need to be taught that my life narrative began before I was born and that my life is not a mistake.
* I need to be taught that in this broken, hurting world loving families are formed through adoption as well as birth.
* I need to be taught that I have intrinsic, immutable value as a human being.
* I need to accept the fact that some of my adoption questions may never be answered in this life.
It would be wonderful if there were an outline...a course-book that came with every human born or adopted into each family. Many of the things above, such as 'I need to be assured that I am welcome and worthy', could be used with any child, anywhere. It is a gift of the greatest value to give your child the knowledge that they belong somewhere, they are wanted and cherished. I highly recommend this book, and hope you will learn from it, as I have. Perhaps a little bit later than I should have, but that is the benefit fo life: It gives plently of second chances.
Martha Osborne
Adoptee and Adoptive mom of five, Editor of [...] Adoption Magazine.
Book Description
The groundbreaking book on recovering from infidelity and surviving marital affairs...and coming out stronger and more in love than ever. Courageous, bold, honest.
Brian (husband): After nearly two decades of marriage to a sexy, loving woman - with whom I made love almost every night - I came home from work one evening and told her I was moving out, leaving her for another woman. Lucky for me, my wife refused to give up on our marriage. We are now closer and more committed than ever. What you're probably wondering is, if I loved my wife so much, why did I do it? In this book, I have answered that question.
Danielle (teenage daughter): When my father told me he was leaving my mother for another woman, I felt it was me he was abandoning. I wondered "what has my whole life been so far, a joke?" In this book, I share the truth about my feelings
Anne (wife): My Husband's affair became the best thing that ever happened to me, yes eventually, but it was also the most devastating of my life. There was a time when I wondered if I could even live through it.
What people are saying..."Riveting...Mesmerizing...I couldn't put the book down."
"My Husband's Affair" deliberately removes itself from providing "the theoretical and psychological" explanations for the why of infidelity and instead purposes to take readers on a gut-honest, courageous, straight-from-the-heart journey into the lives of a couple/family who endured the aftermath of an affair. A must-read before couples, facing infidelity, make life decisions they may later regret. This book provides an alternative to the expected... hope that it's not over.
Don Huston, BTh, MC, RCC, Couples Therapist
This book makes a wonderful contribution to the growing willingness of couples to "break the code of silence" and share their experience with affairs in order to help others. It offers clear insight into the pain involved as well as great hope for the power to recover and rebuild the marriage.
Peggy Vaughan, author of "The Monogamy Myth" and Host of www.dearpeggy.com
For too long too many have suffered in silence because of the stigma associated with affairs. This book gives an honest look at the reality of betrayal and offers hope through the testimony of one brave couple.
Margie Thaler - A Reader
What a ride! Anne captures her marital journey in a way that leaves you feeling as if you've just completed a double loop on a roller coaster...only to realize there's another one coming! After reading their story, I see Anne and Brian as champions of honesty, commitment, perseverance....and true love.
Monica Columbus - A Reader
Customer Reviews:
Very helpful book.......2007-08-23
I ordered this book after my husband of 35 years told me he was having an affair and I didn't know where to turn. It offers some very useful information and advice and helped me make some important decisions. The only thing I would find negative is that this couple was able to reconcile and make their marriage better and of course that isn't the case every time. Since this is their personal experience though, it probably wouldn't be appropriate to include stories on those who weren't able to stay married.
My marriage can survive and I can heal.......2007-06-30
This book is the best purchase I have made since finding out my husband was having an affair. I have read many books about affairs and healing from an affair, but this book is by far the best one. It really hit home and offered me hope and strength when I thought I had none left. My husband and I are trying to repair our marriage and I am working on forgiving and letting go of the pain and devastation I felt for many months and still face, but this book provided me with the hope that I can forgive and our marriage can be whole again. I recommend this book to anyone that is trying to put the pieces back together and find happiness again with their spouse.
My Husband's Affair Became the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me.......2007-01-04
Excellent book. I would highly recommend it to couples who are experiencing marital difficulties involving extramarital affairs and
also for those who are support persons for a couple in trouble.
Anne does an good job of explaining what was helpful and what was
detrimental from their support system. She also was very open about
how difficult it was to recover from her husband's betrayal and all
the work involved between them to rebuild their marriage.
A "Friend".......2006-12-29
This book is amazing, I don't normally give books 5 stars but, this book I am. I received this book 2 days after it was shipped and I read the entire book from front to back in less than 3 days. It was so good, I could not put it down.
If you need books on healing, tips, advice, or just good reading on this subject I highly rec. this book. I found this book to be my "friend" during the time I read it. Anne goes into detail every experience, every emotion, every thought. Although, I wish Brian would have added more to his stories he still shared a lot in this book about his side.
There is one issue though, in this book that I do not agree with. When Anne finally realizes her faults she compares them to be equally as bad as what Brian had done. Not true, her faults were nothing even remotely close to the pain Brian had caused her. Yes, it's great that she finally realized her faults and began working on them but, no, they are not equal to his affair at all.
Best Book on this life changing subject........2006-11-10
I have read several books on this saddening subject and this book is by far the best. It was realistic and was not engulfed in medical terminology. Great book for the every day person going through a difficult time in their marriage.
Amazon.com
Her broad statements like "the feminist movement has become hostile to heterosexual relationships in general" and her tendency to react to callers in anger may offend, but if you can put aside her ratings-boosting fits of temper, you'll find some solid advice in 10 Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships. While Dr. Laura Schlessinger excels at placing blame, her bluntness can be refreshing, and with chapter titles like "stupid priorities," "stupid egotism," and "stupid liaisons," you know right where she stands on issues like career commitment, perceived selfishness, and extramarital relationships.
Much of the book has been created from letters written by listeners of her show. These personal anecdotes are used to illustrate points and provide examples we can all relate to; given their tremendous variety, you're sure to find some that click with you. They make the book an easily absorbed read and provide a welcome break from Schlessinger's angry tirades on premarital sex, addiction, and the general "stupidity" of the human race. Behind her anger, you'll find suggestions on taking time to really listen to each other, ways to respect each other's needs without catering to selfishness, and a firm belief that relationships are nearly always worth saving. --Jill Lightner
Book Description
Back to her outrageous and humorous best, Dr Laura Schlessinger, still America's No.1 radio talk–show host, gives advice on what must be avoided to preserve, protect, and prolong intimate relationships.
In Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships, Dr Laura addresses the problems men and women face in finding peace, joy and self–fulfilment in relationships. She identifies the 10 most common reasons that mess up relationships, including: Stupid Secrets, Stupid Egotism, Stupid Pettiness, Stupid Power, Stupid Priorities, Stupid Happiness, Stupid Excuses, Stupid Liaisons, Stupid Mismatch and Stupid Break–ups.
Dr Laura has been solving people's problems on the air for 25 years. Filled with letters and phone–in situations from her show, this book offers the sort of no–nonsense expertise that made her a star.
Customer Reviews:
Good advice from Dr. Laura.......2007-09-16
I bought this book for my teen-age granddaughter who is dating age, I also bought one for her boyfriend. I reviewed the book and it had good advice not only for the novice dater, but for those individuals who have been dating for years and wondering what's wrong with their past relationships. Clear and concise advise. Good book.
Dr. Laura on Couples.......2007-05-09
All couples should read this book from well-known talk radio therapist Dr. Laura. The advice is valuable for anyone in a relationship.
Fantastic!!!!! .......2007-03-17
Anything written by Dr. Laura is great. If more people would listen to her, they would live better lives. My live has changed dramatically since listening to her. I've read her other books, so I bought this one just to complete the collection. It has served me well. However, what I've realized is that you can't just listen, you have to DO IT!!!
Dr Laura knows what she's talkin about.......2007-01-19
I bought this for a friend so don't know what it's like but I do know Dr Laura writes a Mean-ing-ful book, with powerful examples to follow. In her not-so-sensitive, don't be a crybaby approach, she does present a good "case" for her advice and suggestions. She's quite arrogant, critical, impatient and cruel in her way of communicating to callers on Talk Radio as well as in her books, but much of what she says makes sense. She definitely favors men and blames women for the bad relationships that are described to her.
Good, not great........2006-11-09
I had never read any of Dr. Schlessinger's books until about a month ago when I read her book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". It was a magnificent read and prompted me to pick up this one, 10 STUPID THINGS COUPLES DO TO MESS UP THEIR RELATIONSHIPS. The problem is, I should have read this book first, and here is why; Proper Care was such a masterpiece that I expected as much from this one, and though it is a wonderful dissertation and full of valuable advice, it doesn't come close to being in the same category as Proper Care. Had I read this book first, my expectations would not have been as high and I probably would have rated this one higher.
With this book, you get much of the same valuable perspectives on marriage, but this one is rather discombobulated in its' outlay and at times does not seem to fit the intended structure. There is also considerably more content devoted here to listener comments than from the Doctor herself, making this more of a compilation of letters, emails and interviews and less of a seasoned and highly competent professional lending her expertise on the subject matter.
Couples and individuals alike will certainly garner critical information on selecting the right individual for a mate. However, if you have an expectation of finding marriage building type information here, you might also be disappointed as this is geared more towards how not to mess up a relationship than it is toward building one. As with Proper Care, you will glean bits and pieces of profound information here that will certainly make you think about your relationship and yourself as a part of that relationship.
Overall, this is a good book, well worth reading. My only recommendation is, if you are new to Dr. Laura and seeking to strengthen your marriage, read this book before you read Proper Care. Though Proper Care is focused more on a female audience and this one is for either gender, you will have more an appreciation for this book if you read it first.
Pastor Monty Rainey
Book Description
Helps little Flower Girls understand their important role in wedding celebrations. Color illustrations of wedding accessories throughout are suitable for many cultures.
Customer Reviews:
Very disappointed!.......2007-07-10
The cute title lured me in to buying this book although the price was much higher than the other flower girl books listed on amazon.com. The only other thing I liked about this book was the introductory page. There is a place to write the date of the wedding, bride & groom's name along with the flower girl's name. From that point on the book was a pure disappointment. I had ordered 4 different books on being a flower girl and this one ranks at the bottom of my list! It lacks a good explanation of the role of a flower girl, has no story line, and will not keep my 4.5 year old granddaughter's interest for one minute. I tend to think that if something cost more it will be better...not in this case! Here is a perfect book on being a flower girl with a fun story and explanation on what happens before, during and afer a wedding. If you are looking for a book to help your little flower girl understand her role buy this:
The Little Flower Girl (Pictureback(R))
My Kids Love It!.......2007-03-03
Kids don't have to be preparing for a wedding to appreciate the positive, inspiring words and images of the book. I love the narative which includes things like sports, science and entrepreneurship along with the classic "girl" stuff. I even read the book to my two boys so that they can understand that girls are a lot like them in experiences and aspirations.
10 Neat Things About Being a Flower Girl.......2006-03-23
Was a little disappointed with this book selection. Bought as a little gift for my flower girls and although they were 7,5 and 3, it was really only meant for the 3-yr-old. Nice illustrations...just didn't care for the list of 10 things!
How Great to Have These Books at My Wedding!.......2004-12-11
I was recently married and was given these books by a friend. I had several children in my ceremony and I wanted to make the day as special for them as it was for me. The faces on my little flower girls lit up when I gave the books to them at the rehearsal dinner. They read and re-read them that night; they would not put them down! The day of the wedding the girls could not wait to perform their duties and I honestly feel that the books helped them understand the significance of the occasion. Even better, they were good as gold and knew exactly what to do. These books are great and were a wonderful way to wholeheartedly include the girls in the ceremony, as well as give them something fun to do at the boring rehearsal dinner!
Not a great book .......2004-12-09
I purchased this book for my 4 year old niece for upcoming wedding and the 10 Cool things about being a ring bearer for my fiance's 8 year old nephew and was disappointed with both books. The text is virtually identical in both books (which wouldn't be a problem since they are going to two different homes) but the text isn't very compelling and is much too specific. I heard multiple comments of "we aren't doing that," "you're my aunt, not my sister" etc. She enjoyed another book I also bought which told the STORY of a young flower girl -- and she could relate to "she's just like me" instead of the confusing first person narration of this book. It DOES make a difference to a child if the narration is first or third person since they often view characters in stories as friends.
Book Description
In April 1975, as Saigon fell to the North Vietnamese Army, John Bissell, a former Marine officer living in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, was glued to his television. Struggling to save his marriage, raise his sons, and live with his memories of the war in Vietnam, Bissell found himself racked with anguish and horror as his country abandoned a cause for which so many of his friends had died.
Opening with a gripping account of the chaotic and brutal last month of the war, The Father of All Things is Tom Bissell’s powerful reckoning with the Vietnam War and its impact on his father, his country, and Vietnam itself. Through him we learn what it was like to grow up with a gruff but oddly tender veteran father who would wake his children in the middle of the night when the memories got too painful. Bissell also explores the many debates about the war, from whether it was winnable to Ho Chi Minh’s motivations to why America’s leaders lied so often. Above all, he shows how the war has continued to influence American views on foreign policy more than thirty years later.
At the heart of this book is John and Tom Bissell’s unforgettable journey back to Vietnam. As they travel the country and talk to Vietnamese veterans, we relive the war as John Bissell experienced it, visit the site of his near-fatal wounding, and hear him explain how Vietnam shaped him and so many of his generation.
This is the first major book about the war by an author who grew up after the fall of Saigon. It is a fascinating, all-too-relevant work about the American character–and about war itself. It is also a wise and moving book about fathers, sons, and the universal desire to understand who our parents were before they became our parents.
Customer Reviews:
"Would you stop the car? I'd like your help beating my son." .......2007-09-22
This is a searing, honest, and yes, fair account of a young man's reconciliation with his father, against the backdrop of a return to Vietnam.
The dialog Tom records is almost too good to be true, but it's coming out of his tape recorder, so there it is. The elder Bissell comes across as an ordinary, memory-laden senior citizen who happens to once have been a soldier. His drunken implosion, which the author unspools against the fall of Saigon, is a topnotch piece of psychological fiction, but is nothing that the reader catches first-hand from the rest of the book. At times it seems that Tom projects the gook-plinking hophead of media stereotype into his father, but none of that comes out in the dialog. Indeed, at certain points it's the father who has to point out to the son what a bloody horror the war was.
Had Tom been around during the war, he doubtless would have been a protestor. But at this late date, the historical record is in the books. He stitches together quite good second-hand accounts of the fall of South Vietnam, and of the strange career of Ho Chih Minh (though the latter is perhaps somewhat over-basted with "nuance."). An honest fellow, he frequently admits that the North Vietnamese and the NLF were as bad as advertised, and worse than the more conventionally corrupt South. He still refuses to swallow the old wartime lies, though he proposes no way that things could have come out right.
The end of the return tour, with his father raising a toast with a former ARVN his own age, ends the book on a touching and unexpected up note. Mission accomplished.
A fair-use sample:
"A lot of guys I went to basic with died in this place [the Citadel in Hue city]," my father said. "A lot of guys. Guys who joined up again. Guys who kept volunteering. All died right around here." He shook his head.
"Like who?" I asked.
"You don't know them."
"Well, what were their names?"
He looked at me queerly. "What do you care?" This was said with a brusque sort of inquisitiveness, not anger.
I got to my feet. "I'm sorry. You're right. Just morbid curiosity."
My father--the abrupt smile on his face false to anyone who knew him--turned to Hien [the guide]. "What do *you* think?"
Hien regarded his shoes, which looked like small leather noses peeking out from beneath his blue slacks. "I think this is a special place for many people."
My father said nothing and stood there in the wind, amid the grass. When he closed his eyes, it almost looked as though he were listening to someone.
No new insights into fathers and son,vets, or the war.......2007-08-18
As I am unschooled in the detailed history of the Vietnam war, I focus my comments on the other material I expected based on professional reviews of the book.
Specifically, I expected some attempted growth in the father and son's relationship. Nothing huge, which would be unrealistic, but an attempt or a tiny movement. I also expected insight into the effect of a war that divides generations, dominating both the elder who lived it and the younger who were not directly touched by the war but by their wartime fathers.
The book delivered weakly on both counts. Unless, that is, the author's message is that both generations are so traumatized, albeit differently, that neither can soften their assumptions and defenses long enough to begin to understand the other. Instead, they play out their deep attitudinal and behavioral patterns passively and actively. When they do gain a little insight into the other they become angry. Oddly, father and son both seem slightly grateful to have taken their frozen relationship on a road trip to Vietnam. Finally, to find a point about the effect of war on an entire culture, you'd have to use the family as a metaphor for the U.S.
If these were the author's points, he could have expressed them far more effectively, and also more interestingly by exploring and elaborating them. For instance, why is it so difficult for the son to ask questions of his father that could possibly increased understanding? The problem isn't only that the dad's reticent and challenged to explain an inexplicable experience. No, the son also doesn't hear or effectively work with what his dad *does* tell him. Why is this? And, how interesting that it might be harder for those who weren't in the war to embrace the experience of those who were, instead of vice versa?
Another fruitful but unexplored vein was their mutual expectations and assessment of the trip. Why had they each gone, what had they hoped to get out of it, what happened internally for each of them?
Yet another lost opportunity occurred in the majority of the book which was was a discussion of the war organized according to major questions in the son's perspective. These topics, such as "Why were the South Vietnamese Corrupt" and "Could the U.S. Have Won the War", seem to accurately reflect the perspective of those born mid-1970s as the author was. Fair enough. But, how much more interesting it would have been to to compare, contrast, and connect the son's major questions about the war with his father's!
There are plenty of places where a hungry reader might think the author's about to do something interesting like this, but he never really does. If you've followed the war coverage in major newspapers or magazines during the last several years, you're not going to gain much additional insight here. Unless, of course, the historical interpretation is accurate, which I'm not in a position to judge, but other reviewers have cast doubt on.
A son on his father's Vietnam service.......2007-05-30
It has been a generation since the last American soldier left Vietnam, after almost 15 years of substantial involvement in the fight to defeat the army of North Vietnam and insurgent forces. Some 3 million Americans served, 800,000 of them in combat. The names of more than 58,000 of this country's dead are etched into the stark, granite walls of Washington's Vietnam War Memorial.
In his compelling new book, THE FATHER OF ALL THINGS, journalist Tom Bissell, born in 1974, brings that painful era to life in a rich and emotionally resonant narrative constructed around the trip he took to Vietnam in November 2003 with his father. John Bissell, a Marine combat veteran, arrived in Vietnam in April 1965 and served there until he was wounded in a booby trap explosion in late 1966. Acknowledging the humility that any writer must feel approaching a subject that has been covered in more than 30,000 books, Bissell sets for himself the task of recounting "an emotional experience interwoven with established historical facts of the Vietnam War." It is, he writes, "a book about war's endless legacy."
The book is loosely and somewhat idiosyncratically organized into three sections. The first interweaves an account of the last, desperate days before the fall of Saigon with Bissell's imaginative recreation of his father's dismay as he watches those events unfold in his home in Escanaba, in Michigan's Upper Peninsula. The second, and longest, section poses a handful of queries, such as "Could the United States have won the war in Vietnam?" and "What was the Soviet Union actually attempting to accomplish in Vietnam?" using them as the framework upon which the book's main narrative structure is constructed. The final section, entitled "The Children of the War Speak," contains brief snippets of interviews with Bissell's anonymous contemporaries on all sides of the conflict, reflecting on the ways in which the war's legacy affected them and their families.
Bissell is a gifted writer, whose prose is enriched by a talent for selecting arresting details that will fix the scenes he describes in the mind's eye. In one gripping section near the end of the book he describes the visit he and his father made to Cu Chi, an area that featured an elaborate network of tunnels from which guerrillas launched fiendishly ingenious attacks against American soldiers based there. Another emotionally powerful portion is Bissell's terse recounting of the My Lai massacre in March 1968, which most readers will find chilling in its harrowing detail.
Foregoing any attempt either to glamorize his father's service or to demonize the vast majority of the soldiers who fought there on all sides, Bissell nevertheless portrays his father as a fundamentally decent man, reporting that John Bissell's fellow Marines even nicknamed him "Nice Guy." Like most American soldiers, he was compelled to fight by a sense of duty to his comrades rather than to some at best vaguely understood mission to stop the spread of Communism throughout Southeast Asia. If anything, Bissell is much more judgmental about himself than he is of his father, subtly questioning whether he would have had the courage to do what his father did. One darkly comic scene describing Bissell's attempt to fire an AK-47 at a shooting gallery is likely to have readers wondering the same thing.
The book could have benefited from a map tracing the route of the Bissells' journey, as well as some photographs in addition to the few family snapshots sprinkled throughout the first section. These shortcomings are counterbalanced by a useful bibliography featuring annotations by Bissell on some of the secondary sources he relied upon in this work.
At a time when the United States is embroiled in another unpopular war, the temptation to draw facile parallels with the debacle in Vietnam is almost too great to resist. For the most part, Bissell doesn't succumb to that temptation, perhaps because most thoughtful readers already will find themselves struggling to suppress the echoes of incompetence and bravado from that era that haunt us to this day.
THE FATHER OF ALL THINGS is an intensely personal book that expands outward in concentric circles from the intimate relationship between father and son to the broadest concerns of historical and geopolitical thought. "War is appetitive," Bissell writes. "It devours goodwill, landscape, cultures, mothers, and fathers --- before finally forcing us, the orphans, to pick up the pieces." If this book finds the audience it deserves, it will remind those who lived through that era of the price war exacts, and may help educate those who did not to that grim and timeless reality.
--- Reviewed by Harvey Freedenberg
A writer of great talent - Tom Bissell.......2007-05-07
I've read everything I can find by Tom Bissell. His writing is mesmerizing: a medley of travel log, memoir, novel, and psychological study. I think he is inordinately talented.
With this memoir, his depiction of growing up in Escanaba, Michigan, resonated deeply with me, since I grew up there too and knew his family before he was born. I think he described it well, though his was a dark impression. His honest searching and critical mind were very moving to me.
My heart went out to his father, though a young man, saddled with supporting a wife and child, two siblings, his mother and mother-in-law in his early twenties. The Bissells were peceived as very wealthy and above the ordinary worries of most of our families. They were like the Magnificent Ambersons, and we didn't know the half of it.
I also admired his retrospective on the Vietnam War. It was very well researched and presented with lucidness and poignance. I'm not much of a history reader, but the author had my full attention and understanding.
Some day this writer is going to win lots of prizes. Thanks, Tom Bissell, for a wonderful book.
A Subject Greater Than the War Itself.......2007-05-05
"The Father of All Things" is the latest brilliant offering from one of America's great young writers.
Whereas Bissell's first book, "Chasing the Sea," alternated between his (sometimes humorous, sometimes painful) return to Uzbekistan after a failed stint in the Peace Corps and a deft history of Central Asia and the ability of its peoples to repel or outlast any and all outside powers' tries at conquest, "The Father of All Things" plumbs the depths of one family's experience in the Vietnam War, and the reverberation that war has had on the children of veterans on both sides.
To his credit, Bissell shares more of himself in the memoir sections of the book than he does in "Chasing the Sea." His relationship with his father is one of soft reconciliation after years of -- if not literal, then certainly emotional -- separation. There are courageous and heart-baring passages that would've been clumsy in the hands of a less-talented author, and you can see the warmth that Marine Captain John Bissell has for his son, even when he's teasing him about being a Communist when they go to Vietnam together, almost 40 years after John's last visit, when he was one of the first combat troops on the ground.
Yes, why another book about Vietnam? As Bissell himself states in his brief author's note: "More than thirty thousand books on Vietnam are currently in print. Why another? one might (and probably did) ask. . . . This is not really a book about the nation of Vietnam, or even the Vietnam War. It is, instead, a book about war's endless legacy. . . . When war begins, leaders inevitably frown as they promise courage and bravery, guarantee tragic sacrifice, yet vow, all the same, to see it through. What any war's igniters rarely admit are the small, terrible truths that have held firm for every war ever fought, no matter how necessary or avoidable: 'This will be horrible, and whatever happens will scar us for decades to come.' Indeed, even necessary wars can destroy the trust of a people in their leaders, just as war destroys human beings on both sides of the rifle."
To ask questions of one's government is not treason -- it is one of the highest form of citizenship. And if one's government cannot supply satisfactory answers to its citizens, it is their duty to endlessly question that government. To say this book -- or the author himself -- is anti-American couldn't be further from the truth, and proof is in the pages. Bissell has reported from both Afghanistan and Iraq, and there's a particularly harrowing passage in the book where, trapped in Mazar-i-Sharif in the early days of the 2002 American invasion, he uses a fellow journalist's satellite phone to call his father. He gets cut off in the middle of the conversation and his father, believing his youngest son has been kidnapped by the Taliban, is suddenly thrown back into his own war.
Not only does Bissell do a superb job of honoring his father and the generation of young men who fought and died in Vietnam, he also, with "The Father of All Things," salutes the 20- and 30-somethings of contemporary America, the brothers and sisters of Bicentennial Babies, who are currently fighting and dying in Afghanistan and Iraq because, as it did with their fathers in Vietnam, their country called them to their duty.
Bissell well understands the sacrifices a military man makes, as he lived with them in the form of his father. Yes, this book is about war, and specifically about the Vietnam War and its shadow, but to read it so narrowly misses the point: This is a book about a son trying to understand his father because he loves him.
Average customer rating:
- Great "new mom" book - honesty, humor
- Your Outspoken Friend
- I laughed until I cried
- A breath of fresh air
- THank You, Thank You, THank YOu
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Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay: And Other Things I Had to Learn as a New Mom
Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
Manufacturer: Simon Spotlight Entertainment
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
 Comic | General | Literature & Fiction | Subjects | Books
Love, Sex & Marriage | Humor | Entertainment | Subjects | Books
Satire, General | Humor | Entertainment | Subjects | Books
Self-Esteem | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
General | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
Motherhood | Family Relationships | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books
Infants | Babies & Toddlers | Parenting | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books
General | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books
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I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids: Reinventing Modern Motherhood
ASIN: 1416915060 |
Book Description
The moment the second line on the pee stick turns pink, women discover they've entered a world of parenting experts.
Friends, family, colleagues, the UPS delivery guy -- suddenly everybody is a trove of advice, much of it contradictory and confusing. With dire warnings of what will happen if baby is fed on demand and even direr warnings of what will happen if he isn't, not to mention hordes of militant "lactivists," cosleeping advocates, and books on what to worry about next, modern parenthood can seem like a minefield.
In busy Mom-friendly short essays, Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay delivers the empathetic straight dirt on parenting, tackling everything from Mommy & Me classes ("Your baby doesn't need to be making friends at three months old -- you do! But not with people you'll meet at Mommy & Me") to attachment parenting ("If you're holding your baby 24/7, that's not a baby, that's a tumor"). Stefanie Wilder-Taylor combines practical tips with sidesplitting humor and refreshing honesty, assuring women that they can be good mothers and responsibly make their own choices. A witty and welcome antidote to trendy parenting texts and scarifying case studies, Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay provides genuine support, encouragement, and indispensable common-sense advice.
Customer Reviews:
Great "new mom" book - honesty, humor.......2007-10-05
Any "New Mom" book that is written with humor and honesty is OK is my book! Ms Wilder's book is refreshing, honest, and funny on many topics "new mom" related. She discusses many issues a "new mom" will encounter. She starts with the issue of "instant bonding" - what a relief to know that I was not only one to take a few weeks to fall in love. From there she discusses other biggie "new mom" topics - the realities of breastfeeding, bottle feeding, baby-blues, feeding solid foods, babysitters, venturing out with your newborn, other new mothers, handling friends without children, sex after baby, A-type mommies, and different parenting styles, and much more. This is a book you can read at one sitting or one topic at a time. The author's honest, witty style is engaging and entertaining, and I suspect will give many "New Moms" a peaceful night's sleep.
Your Outspoken Friend .......2007-08-09
Her writing is so real & raw you feel as if you're sitting right next to her making fun of the "normal" mommies across the room. Although she is a little brazen on some of the sentimental moments some moms experience with having a baby, she does have a knack for making you laugh & enjoy the whole experience.
I laughed until I cried.......2007-07-30
At 7 months pregnant, (I'm now working on boy #2), everything that Stefanie writes about is very familiar. I've had to put the book down because I was laughing so hard that I was concerned I might have to change pants. My husband has laughed just as hard.
This book isn't for everyone. If you're a hopeless romantic, this might not be the book you want. But, if you're a strong, modern woman with a sense of humor...don't pass this one up. (If you like Vicki Iovine's "Girlfriend's Guides" you'll love this one.)
I'll be passing it on to my favorite girlfriends.
A breath of fresh air.......2007-07-09
Yes it is possible to be a new parent and retain a sense of humor! This book is very funny and if, like me, you have spent months pre-and post-baby combing through dozens of parenting books, it really does feel like a breath of fresh air. Stephanie's approach is real and honest and her bottom line is, you do whatever works for you. You can't fit your baby into a prescribed role according to some parenting technique. Some things work some of the time, nothing works all of the time, you just do the best you can to make it through the day!
THank You, Thank You, THank YOu.......2007-06-13
I needed this book!!! Buy it, it is the best decision on a book, My husband would look at me like I was crazy everytime I laughed outloud at the book. I would try to explain it, but he just couldn't understand!
Average customer rating:
- Excellent Life Management Book
- A Lifetime Guide
- What's important in your life?
- great getting it together tool
- Good Book
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First Things First
Stephen R. Covey ,
A. Roger Merrill , and
Rebecca R. Merrill
Manufacturer: Simon & Schuster
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover
Time Management | Skills | Business & Investing | Subjects | Books
Job Hunting & Careers | Business & Investing | Subjects | Books | General | Guides | Interviewing | Job Hunting | Job Markets & Advice | Resumes | Vocational Guidance | Volunteer Work
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Interpersonal Relations | Relationships | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
Success | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
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ASIN: 0671864416 |
Amazon.com
What are the most important things in your life? Do they get as much care, emphasis, and time as you'd like to give them? Far from the traditional "be-more-efficient" time-management book with shortcut techniques, First Things First shows you how to look at your use of time totally differently. Using this book will help you create balance between your personal and professional responsibilities by putting first things first and acting on them. Covey teaches an organizing process that helps you categorize tasks so you focus on what is important, not merely what is urgent. First you divide tasks into these quadrants:
- Important and Urgent (crises, deadline-driven projects)
- Important, Not Urgent (preparation, prevention, planning, relationships)
- Urgent, Not Important (interruptions, many pressing matters)
- Not Urgent, Not Important (trivia, time wasters)
Most people spend most of their time in quadrants 1 and 3, while quadrant 2 is where quality happens. "Doing more things faster is no substitute for doing the right things," says Covey. He points you toward the real human needs--"to live, to love, to learn, to leave a legacy"--and how to balance your time to achieve a meaningful life, not just get things done. --Joan Price
Book Description
I'm getting more done in less time, but where are the rich relationships, the inner peace, the balance, the confidence that I'm doing what matters most and doing it well?
Does this nagging question haunt you, even when you feel you are being your most efficient? If so, First Things First can help you understand why so often our first things aren't first. Rather than offering you another clock, First Things First provides you with a compass, because where you're headed is more important than how fast you're going.
Customer Reviews:
Excellent Life Management Book.......2007-06-22
I read the 7 habits of Highly Effective people a few years ago and was very inspired at that time to take more control of my life and try and implement the habits into my daily life. In particular, i really found the third habit on time management useful and could see the benefit. However, at that time i did not put the habits into effect in any real way.
Then recently, i discovered this book again which mainly deals with the third habit and some of the second habit and found that i was now ready to not only read about it but to actually start doing it by using the tools and techinques outlined to take control of my life and focus on the things that really mattered.
It may seem simple but starting with a vision of my life and then writing out my goals for incorporation into my monthly, weekly and daily planning has alreaady had a tremendous effect on my life and i find that i am scheduling important things in my life such as meditation and exercise and doing these which is giving me a more balanced work life balance. I also find it very effective for my job in which i am now scheduling important activites into my calender and doing them rather than just reacting to the urgent day to day requests at the expense of these more important long term activities.
A Lifetime Guide.......2007-02-05
I have bought this book for four years, read over it for many times.
If I can only take one book with me to another world, I will take this one. It is a good guide to how to live for a lifetime.
It begins with the foundamental principles, then gradually teachs you how to live a better life based on those principles. Every sentence is a sentence of truth. Everytime I have setback, I go back to this book; and everytime, I find that I have violated a principle.
Over four years, I become a different person.
What's important in your life?.......2007-01-23
What's important in your life? What do you really want to accomplish? What do you want to see completed at the end of the day, at the end of the week, at the end of the month, at the end of the year, and, ultimately, what do you want to have accomplished by the end of your life?
Getting things in line in your life, learning to set priorities, not just for money, purchases, and trivial things, but for more important things. How about family, relationships, and career?
great getting it together tool.......2007-01-18
I purchased this book as a Christmas gift for someone special who told me since reading the book he has been able to adapt a positive change in his busy and hetic life in a very positive way. He has been able to put in priority and balance the pressures, responsibilities, expetations of both his personal and business life,
Good Book.......2006-12-06
I bought this book because I needed some guidance to start putting things back in order in my life. Eventhough it focus on business and work, it provides some helpful hints to apply on you personal life.
Book Description
Following her previous New York Times bestsellers, Dr.Laura Schlessinger, the conscience of talk radio, now addresses an issue near and dear to her heart: the stupid things parents do to mess up their children. Never one to shy away from tough truths, Dr. Laura marshals compelling evidence for the widespread neglect of America's children and convincingly condemns the numerous rationalizations to excuse it. These are just a few of her hard-hitting points:
- Don't Have Them If You Won't Raise Them: "The cavalier manner in which our society treats child care, not as a matter of intimacy and love, but as a matter of convenience and economics, is deeply destructive to our children's sense of attachment, identity, and importance."
- Dads Need Not Apply: "Single motherhood may be more acceptable to society, but it is not acceptable to children; nor is it in their best interest."
- Brave New Baby: "In our society, reproductive freedom means anyone can decide to create a life by any means with no, and I mean no, consideration of what is in the best interest of that new human being."
- Spare the Rod: "Children without discipline often become adults with tempertantrums, defiance, rage, depression, anxiety, poor school and work adjustment, drug and alcohol abuse."
Stupid Things Parents Do to Mess Up Their Kids covers all aspects of parenting and also tackles such cultural and societal concerns as abortion, modern sexuality, drug and alcohol use, violence, discipline, and a child's right to privacy.
Customer Reviews:
Hits the nail on the head.......2007-10-07
Reading this book made me so glad I made the choice I did to stay home with my kids. I have no sympathy or respect for women who are flying down the money trail while dumping their poor babies in daycare with strangers; what a long, sad, miserable day for a toddler (no matter what Mom wants to tell herself). And as far as the ever-popular "I can't afford not to work" excuse, then why did you have children if you can't afford them? My husband is in the military; we don't make much money but we would NEVER use that as an excuse to abandon our children day after day all through their fleeting and precious childhoods. This also applies to the single, never married moms who maybe should have considered getting married before getting knocked up; daycare all day AND no dad! Yippee!! Bravo to Dr. Laura for telling it like it is. Once you have that baby, it's not about YOU anymore!
R. Jordan.......2006-03-30
I LOVE Dr. Laura and although I don't have children, I bought this book for a friend of mine that does and is having some difficulty with them. She has read the book 3 times and there is definitely a noticable difference in both my friend and her children's behaviour now.
I highly recommend this book!!!
Dr. Laura and Stupid parents.......2006-03-23
Right on again, Dr. Laura! She isn't afraid of just saying it like it is! We have kids, give them to someone else to rear, and then wonder what has happened to our society? She just levels with parents in the most ACCURATE and DIRECT way. Go Dr. Laura!
Dr. Psychology is right on!!!!.......2006-01-25
Dr. Laura was right on! She is correct in saying that children without guidance and boundries have lower self-esteem and experience depression more often. She is also correct in saying that children need to be corrected- spanked. The studies that some on here proport that damage children's self-esteem do not understand how skewed the data is. Many of the so called researchers have included spanking with those who slap, punch, kick, verbally abuse, and even whip their children with metal objects and wooden paddles. For those who have taken a statistics course or research methods course know how skewed this data is. Dr. Laura is going against the grain of society and saying there is a right and wrong and that we are not animals merely here on earth to follow our instincts and live to ourselves. She calls mothers, fathers, and parents to return to a society where people care and our selfless. This book gives great insight into the feminist movement and how socity is taking a turn for the worst!!
good title but needs a real doctor for its author.......2005-12-03
First of all, I wonder how this woman received the title of doctor because it's obvious she didn't do her homework! When she advocates the use of corporal punishment by saying "Children without discipline often become adults with tempertantrums, defiance, rage, depression, anxiety, poor school and work adjustment, drug and alcohol abuse." she is implying that this will happen to children who are not hit (or spanked whatever you would like to call this form of child abuse) by their parents. Had she done any research or even looked at the research of others she would have found that the majority of children that were spanked by their parents are the ones that end up like this! So it is very clear that she needs to take a good long look at her own values on parenting before she begins criticizing other parents for refusing to deliberately cause pain to their own offspring!
Book Description
Based on questions from women who have attended author David Deida's highly acclaimed relationships seminars, this must-have book puts male behavior under the microscope. Included are chapters on sex, work, relationships and communication. Interspersed throughout are sidebars that shed light on the many faces of men and help women grasp what makes them act the way they do.
Customer Reviews:
It's A Guy Thing.......2007-09-23
I loved this book with its short little chapters covering specific things that guys just do and many women just don't get. It's a must read for any gal who seems to think her man should act or react like her girlfriends or is just plain baffled by male behavior. David Deida is genius in presenting the differences between the male and female psyche. Another recommendation for women would be to read Dear Lover: A Woman's Guide To Men, Sex, And Love's Deepest Blissalso by David Deida and The Way Of The Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Woman, Work, and Sexual Desireshould be required reading for all men!
One of the best books on understanding the sexes.......2007-08-23
I've been involved in self awareness work for 29 years. The relief I find by understanding Divine Masculine and Feminine energies is tremendous. It has given me the clarity to know what serves me best in intimate relationship, how I can best serve my partner, and how we can keep passion and love alive. I wish this book was given to every girl when she turned 16 as a "rite of passage" tool. As a Holistic Energy Healer, I use these teachings with clients to help them through crisis and gain a deeper understanding of their own true nature. This book is laid out in bite sized chunks of info that are easy to assimilate and refer to. It is a great on its own, or as an introduction to David Deida's other books.
Men, Demystified.......2007-08-14
This guy knows what it means to be a man, and he puts that into words better than anyone else I've ever heard or read. This book is a must-have for any and every woman who is confused about her man. If you read this book, you will understand what makes men tick.
mars and venus takes a spiritual step.......2006-07-17
I've read Deida's "The way of the Superior Man" as well as "Dear Lover" and am a bit biased at this point as I think his work is helpful within a larger understanding of how men and women typically behave (read Men are from Mars Women are from Venus first), but can come across as extreme at times (more in "dear lover" than this book or "superior man") Overall, Deida's work has been helpful for me. I've explored Deida's ideas and advice with my Man over tha past several months, and find it is usually helpful, but I think much of it would have been hard for me to swallow/potentially damaging if I hadn't read other books on male/female behaviour first. Use your judgement and filter the more perverse aspects of Deida's philosophy against the larger picture of your ethics and use what is helpful to you, discard the rest.
guy thing.......2006-03-19
This book was helpful for understanding guy logic. I learned alot and found it informative. However, the book also tends to be repetitive and could have been edited more stringently.
Books:
- Tender Warrior: Every Man's Purpose, Every Woman's Dream, Every Child's Hope
- The Annotated Uncle Tom's Cabin
- The Atlantis Blueprint: Unlocking the Ancient Mysteries of a Long-Lost Civilization
- The Biggest Loser Cookbook: More Than 125 Healthy, Delicious Recipes Adapted from NBC's Hit Show
- The Burning Stone (Crown of Stars, Vol. 3)
- The Dream Thief
- The End of Days: Armageddon and Prophecies of the Return (The Earth Chronicles)
- The Enemy Within: Saving America from the Liberal Assault on Our Schools, Faith, and Military
- The Good Spell Book: Love Charms, Magical Cures, and Other Practical Sorcery
- The Illustrated Encyclopedia of Essential Oils: The Complete Guide to the Use of Oils in Aromatherapy and Herbalism (Illustrated Encyclopedia)
Books Index
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