Amazon.com
Recently, temperament traits have come to the forefront of child development theory. In Raising Your Spirited Child, Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's first contribution is to redefine the "difficult child" as the "spirited" child, a child that is, as she says, MORE. Many people are leery about books that are too quick to "type" kids, but Kurcinka, a parent of a spirited child herself and a parent educator for 20 years, doesn't fall into that trap. Instead, she provides tools to understanding your own temperament as well as your child's. When you understand your temperamental matches--and your mismatches--you can better understand, work, live, socialize, and enjoy spirit in your child. By reframing challenging temperamental qualities in a positive way, and by giving readers specific tools to work with these qualities, Kurcinka has provided a book that will help all parents, especially the parents of spirited children, understand and better parent their children.
Book Description
The spirited child — often called "difficult" or "strong-willed" — can easily overwhelm parents, leaving them feeling frustrated and inadequate. Spirited kids are, in fact, simply "more" — by temperament, they are more intense, sensitive, perceptive, persistent, and uncomfortable with change than the average child. Through vivid examples and a refreshingly positive viewpoint, Mary Sheedy Kurcinka offers parents emotional support and proven strategies for handling their spirited child. Raising Your Spirited Child will help you:
- Understand your child's — and your own — temperamental traits
- Plan for success with a simple four-step program
- Discover the power of positive — rather than negative — labels
- Cope with tantrums and blowups when they do occur
- Develop strategies for handling mealtimes, bedtimes, holidays, school and many other situations
Filled with personal insight and authoritative advice, Raising Your Spirited Child can help make parenting the joy it should be, rather than the trial it can be.
Customer Reviews:
Strongly recommend.......2007-08-14
This book is one of the best parenting books available. It is one of the few books that actually offers substantive advice about how to deal with certain behaviors. Furthermore, it is the only book that I have read that maintains a positive outlook on "spirited" children. The book does not focus on ways to change the child and does not imply that the child has a disability. It simply teaches the parent how to deal to deal with behaviors and feelings of the spirited child. I cannot say enough about how wonderful the book is. I reread parts of it nearly every night.
Saved my mind.......2007-07-20
I was so sure my son was different in so many ways that I would never be able to keep up with him. This book helped me decide which of his spirits needed extra attention from me and how to direct that spirit once I identified it. Now when he goes nuts jumping up and down on the bed, I know it's because he has a lot of pent up energy from having to be still for a long time (i.e. school). When he gets very quiet and withdraws I know he is needing special one on one attention because something has bothered him too much and he's embarrassed by that. There are so many nuances for each of our children and this book really helps figure out the particular ones that your own child is gifted with.
raising your sprited child.......2007-06-08
The book was great. I was very please with it. I recomend it to everybody.
If you think you need this book, then you do!.......2007-05-21
This book is fantastic. I just can't say enough great things about it. If you think your child might be "spirited" do yourself a favor and give this book a read.
A great guide for the perplexed (parent, that is).......2007-04-22
This lady obviously knows her stuff, as well as her audience. Ms. Sheedy Kurcinka seems to be describing my child in some passages. I found the tips for heading off a meltdown quite helpful. And it's of course comforting to know I'm not in this alone! I'd recommend the book to any parent who's getting gray dealing with a "spirited" child.
Book Description
How many parents have found themselves thinking: I can't believe I just said to my child the very thing my parents used to say to me! Am I just destined to repeat the mistakes of my parents? In Parenting from the Inside Out, child psychiatrist Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., and early childhood expert Mary Hartzell, M.Ed., explore the extent to which our childhood experiences actually do shape the way we parent. Drawing upon stunning new findings in neurobiology and attachment research, they explain how interpersonal relationships directly impact the development of the brain, and offer parents a step-by-step approach to forming a deeper understanding of their own life stories, which will help them raise compassionate and resilient children.
Born out of a series of parents' workshops that combined Siegel's cutting-edge research on how communication impacts brain development with Hartzell's thirty years of experience as a child-development specialist and parent educator, Parenting from the Inside Out guides parents through creating the necessary foundations for loving and secure relationships with their children.
Download Description
"How many parents have found themselves thinking: ""I can't believe I just said to my child the very thing my parents used to say to me. . . . Am I just destined to repeat the mistakes of my parents?"" In Parenting from the Inside Out child psychiatrist Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., and early childhood educator Mary Hartzell, M. Ed., explore the extent to which our childhood experiences actually do shape the way that we parent. Drawing upon stunning new findings in neurobiology and attachment research, they explain how interpersonal relationships directly impact the development of the brain, and offer parents a step-by-step approach to forming a deeper understanding of their own life stories that will help them raise compassionate and resilient children. In this book, Siegel and Hartzell present a unique perspective on the ""art and science"" of building nurturing relationships with our children. Born out of a series of workshops for parents that combined Siegel's cutting-edge research on how communication impacts brain development with Hartzell's thirty years of experience as a child development specialist and parent educator, Parenting from the Inside Out guides parents through creating the necessary foundations for a loving and secure relationship with their children."
Customer Reviews:
Good shape.......2007-04-05
This book was in good shape and was delivered in a good time.
Interesting; probably most useful if you want to improve on your own childhood experience.......2007-02-17
I found this book very interesting and supportive of a sensitive style of parenting. The central idea of looking back to your own childhood, thinking about how you feel about it and understanding how it can shape your behaviour, is both interesting and illuminating. The assertion that a negative experience need not create a pattern that is repeated in the next generation is very positive and encouraging. I found the explanations of how brain development is linked to emotional well-being fascinating and also very encouraging of investing in building and maintaining strong parent-child bonds. I have a couple of minor reservations about the book: that is is probably most useful for people who have experienced trauma as a child and have issues to work through and that that the scientific sections are a little dry and repetitive. I thought the case stories were interesting but that more in the way of tips - perhaps in a table or summary at the end of each chapter, would have been useful. Still, overall a thoughtful and thought-provoking book which could just reassure you that all your parenting efforts are worthwhile and may even provoke deep personal healing (although I'm not sure this book could replace professional help).
Parenting From The Inside Out.......2007-01-09
Useful information for well-educated parents who like to read and do self-inquiry. Helpful for mental health professionals who support clients in conscious parenting. Also indirectly useful for those who want to do self-work regarding family of origin and early life developmental issues to improve adult interpersonal relations. For optimal integration many of the exercises seem best done with the guidance and reflection of a psychotherapist.
Not too much bang for the buck.......2006-12-24
There are a couple of useful chapters in here, well written, etc., but most seemed old news. I've yet to read Developing Mind, and I'm hoping that that will be much better and more original. Siegel is a great lecturer, so I was expecting more. Basically, this book is about being aware of the traumatic, disconnecting experiences one has had in order to stop the cycle of anger, reactivity, etc., that comes from unconscious conflict.
Parenting from Inside the Parent Brain.......2006-09-30
While other authors have focused their attention on the brain of the developing child (What's Going on in There by Lise Eliot, Ph.D. and The Scientist in the Crib by Alison Gopnik, PhD, Andrew N. Meltzoff, Ph.D., and Patricia K. Kuhl, Ph.D.), in their book Parenting from the Inside Out: How a Deeper Self-Understanding Can Help you Raise Children Who Thrive, Siegel and Hartzell zero in on what's going on inside the parent's brain -- specifically how new research in the areas of neurobiology and attachment theory can help parents to understand why they parent the way they do and what they can do to use that knowledge to become better parents.
The authors stress the importance of making peace with your past so that you can avoid repeating any negative patterns of family interaction with your own kids: "In the absence of reflection, history often repeats itself and parents are vulnerable to passing on to their children unhealthy patterns from the past. Understanding our lives can free us from the otherwise predictable situation in which we recreate the damage to our children that was done to us in our own childhoods....By making sense of our lives we can deepen a capacity for self-understanding and bring coherence to our emotional experience, our views of the world, and our interactions with our children."
The book's content is excellent, but it's pretty heavy-going at times. The authors offer the reader a mix of straight narrative, introspective journaling exercises, and lessons in neurobiology. It's all fascinating stuff, but it requires a lot of focus and attention. Definitely not to be attempted with a child in the room!
Average customer rating:
- Good for every parent.
- Life Changing
- truly excellent book
- Great resource-- I'm purchasing a 2nd copy 10 yrs later!
- Wonderful!!!
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Raising Your Spirited Child Rev Ed: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, and Energetic
Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
Manufacturer: Harper Paperbacks
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
 Child Development | Babies & Toddlers | Parenting | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books
General | Parenting | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books
General | Special Needs | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books
General | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books
Special Needs Children | Children's Health | Personal Health | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
General | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
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ASIN: 0060739665
Release Date: 2006-11-28 |
Book Description
Now in a NEW UPDATED version, Kurcinka offers parents the most up–to–date research, effective strategies and real life stories for:
•Managing intensity – not just the kids, but parents too
•Getting the sleep every family needs and deserves,
•Choosing their battles
•Helping children to hear their instructions
•Assisting children in getting along with siblings and peers, and
•Being successful in school and at home.
Spirited children possess traits we value in adults, yet find challenging in children. Studies now show that these children are "wired" to be more reactive to the world around them. The solution, rather than medication or punishment, is understanding temperament and working with it. Kurcinka in a supportive, warm style is able to reveal to parents how to do it, often leading them to ask, "How did she get into my home?" Winner of the Parents' Choice Award, voted one of the top twenty books for parents, and a "real life saver" for parents, this updated version is eagerly awaited by parents and professionals.
Customer Reviews:
Good for every parent........2007-10-05
Raising Your Spirited Child is a good resource for every parent. It is important to understand your child's unique temperament. I especially like the practical suggestions and summaries of things to say to your child. It is a very positive book!
Life Changing.......2007-10-02
I can only describe this book as liberating. When I found it, our son was 5. I sat and cried with relief, knowing I was not alone. 7 years later I still quote many part of the books. I don't even know how many copies I have bought and lent out. My favorite part was the real definitions of introvert vs. extrovert...wow, what perspective. This concept alone has totally helped me to better understand my family and friends. It is also a wonderful thing to teach my kids so that they can recognize the needs of themselves and their friends. Our son is now 12 years old, very intelligent with a huge heart. This book helped us to learn how to adapt his environment without enabling him. Understanding his need for more sleep, less drama, and smoother transitions help him to be stronger and more secure emotionally and let's be honest....it all benefits the family dynamics. Praise God!
truly excellent book.......2007-08-16
As soon as I started reading this book, I used some of the recommened techniques and got miraculous results. It helped me deal with my stress, and I found my 3 year old really relieved too. I guess anyone would prefer this style of interaction over our previous push & pull. I think this is a must read for anyone with any kind of child...not just spirited ones. It not only gives incite into understanding and dealing with your child's temperament, it helped me understand my own better too so I could clue her into my trigger points as well as her own.
Great resource-- I'm purchasing a 2nd copy 10 yrs later!.......2007-08-01
This was a total eye opener when I originally purchased this book 10 years ago! (My son was 2 and my daughter was a newborn!)I've since recommended it and loaned it out so many times that my copy didn't come back the last time! (And I can't remember who has it now!) I both laughed & cried while reading it and I finished it in 1 night (newborn-remember?)It really helped both my husband and me see what WE were doing differently--not necessarily "wrong", just not RIGHT for our son--and WE made changes. (Note to the person who wrote "this book had no tips we could use": read it again & remember you're the parent who needs to guide the child.) We realized simple things--we shouldn't have taken him on numerous errands at the end of his day or WE paid for it (our son doesn't handle ANY change well and he still doesn't--he's 12 now!) We've had to teach HIM how to handle difficult situations. I'm now going to read it again to help with the preteen years for both of my children!
Wonderful!!!.......2007-07-08
This book is fantastic for anyone who suspects that they are raising a spirited child. Other child raising books just aren't sufficient when you're raising a child with "spirit." It was a delight and a relief to know that there are other children in the world who have as much energy and are as tenacious as mine. I highly recommend this book!
Amazon.com
Mary Pipher, author of the bestselling and groundbreaking Reviving Ophelia, which charts the troubled passage of girls into adolescence, has nimbly covered yet another psychological passage: that into old age, which May Sarton called "a foreign country."
Pipher reveals that the greatest shame for today's elders--most of whom survived the Depression--is not being self-sufficient. The majority of them stoically prefer to keep their feelings to themselves, and this is why it's so difficult to convince older parents to accept or even discuss such issues as physical and mental health, finances, eldercare, or living wills. This directly conflicts with the openness of their children, who grew up in the era of "free love" and were influenced by society (and the advent of psychology in the 1950s and popularization of therapy) to talk frankly about emotions. While a boomer can easily talk with a friend about marriage difficulties or even surgery, an elder is likely to find admitting such "weaknesses" abhorrent.
Another Country includes excerpts of sessions with dozens of Pipher's psychology patients, interspersed with not-so-obvious advice for sensitively communicating with the elderly. Some interviews are grim: one woman hallucinated that rodents were running through her house; she was so desperate for company from her family, but too proud to ask them to stop by, that she invented her own visitors. But the breakthroughs in communication Pipher is able to accomplish, sometimes with the help of grandchildren as intermediaries, are startling and thoroughly encouraging. (For example, the animals the woman was imagining disappeared after she received company regularly.)
Pipher cared for her dying mother for a "horrid," guilt-filled year while this book was being written and says that she wanted "to help others in my situation feel less alone." She also aims to help each generation understand the other. In these goals she's succeeded brilliantly. Any adult struggling with issues with their parents, especially mortality, will find Another Country an indispensable source of suggestions and support. --Erica Jorgensen
Book Description
Mary Pipher's phenomenal New York Times bestseller-a book about us and our parents...
"[Pipher] ventures into communities and then returns to explain their truths and ways of being to the rest of us in clear, clean English. Totally accessible...[Another Country] is a compassionate...look at the disconnect between baby boomers and their aging parents or grandparents." -USAToday
There are more older people in America today than ever before. They are our parents and grandparents, our aunts and uncles and in-laws.They are living longer, but in a culture that has come to worship youth-a culture in which families have dispersed, communities have broken down, and older people are isolated. Meanwhile, adults in two-career families are struggling to divide their time among their kids, their jobs, and their aging parents-searching for the right words to talk about loneliness, forgetfulness, or selling the house.
Another Country is a field guide to this rough terrain for a generation of baby boomers who are finding themselves unprepared to care for those who have always cared for them. Psychologist and bestselling writer Mary Pipher maps out strategies that help bridge the gaps that separate us from our elders. And with her inimitable combination of respect and realism, she offers us new ways of supporting each other-new ways of sharing our time, our energy, and our love.
"In Another Country, [Pipher] observes that to grow old for many people in today's fragmented, age-phobic, age-segregated America is to inhabit a foreign country, isolated, disconnected and misunderstood."-New York Times
"Pipher explores how today's mobile, individualistic, media-drenched culture prevents so many dependent old people, and the relatives trying to do right by them, from getting what they need...her insights will help people of several generations."-The Washington Post
"[Pipher] wrote [Another Country] to help Boomers like herself better understand their parents and grandparents and to glimpse what might await them in their old age."-Chicago Tribune
"Mary Pipher urges baby boomers to stay in tune with their elderly parents' needs...With average life expectancy now in the mid-70s and 2 million Americans turning 65 each year-a number that will skyrocket as the baby boomer generation ages-the stakes are raised for families and societies alike."-People
"The author of Reviving Ophelia unflinchingly takes us into the heart of this largely uncharted territory."-Rocky Mountain News
"A field guide to old age, combining personal stories with social theory."-Boston Globe
"Dr. Pipher sees aging from a broader perspective. [She] emphasizes the need for the elderly to become elders-people who can help us find a deep structure for our communities-[and] she makes a persuasive case for roots."-Christian Science Monitor
"This is a book that thoughtful Boomers can embrace as their own...Another Country looks at issues like care-giving, death, generational relations and the resiliency many elders display in old age. It offers advice on improving our relationships with other generations and with understanding our own passing years."-St. Petersburg Times
"Rich in stories and full in details....For people wondering about their parents' or more poignantly, their own aging."-St. Louis Post-Dispatch
"[Mary Pipher] comes across as neither saint nor scold. [Another Country is] not a how-to book, but a how-to-think book."-Minnesota Star Tribune
Customer Reviews:
Well worth reading.......2006-01-09
The author of the bestseller Reviving Ophelia this times takes us on a journey through the lives of our elders. Following the lead of Bernice Neugarten at the University of Chicago, she distinguishes between the "young-old" and the "old-old". This book focuses mainly on the later, telling the stories of people who are coping with loss and illness.
While individual differences are always present, Pipher see trends among those in the "old-old" group, as well as among their families and children. Being able to anticipate and appreciate these commonalities, she believes, will ultimately be our best route to communicating with and honoring our elders.
She calls cultural differences between the generations time-zone problems. Some are obvious, such as differences in attitudes towards authority. Others seem obvious only when she points them out to us, such as the fact that our parents' generation was "pre-irony". Without recognizing these differences, we are bound to be frustrated with each other.
In what she calls "the saddest chapter in this book", the author compares the old-old to victims of chronic post traumatic stress disorder, people overwhelmed by inevitable multiple losses and threats. It is a uninviting concept, one we would prefer to discard or at least put a positive spin on.
Yet the trauma of old age can also be the catalyst for our ultimate growth and integration. Pipher tells us that "each of us will experience our ship going down...From our responses come the best and worst stories".
Even in her stories of those elders who end their lives bitter and aggrieved, there is sometimes healing in those who are left. Adult children reconcile with siblings and with themselves. Teenage grandchildren come into the circle.
And in many heartwarming stories of resilient, courageous elders, the author helps us come to appreciate the dignity and peace that can exist alongside the losses.
The book is practical as well. Facilities which have successfully integrated the care of the young and the old are described. Programs which have paired schoolchildren with elders come to life with personal stories. Tales of foster grandparents make us realize how little we have utilized these powerful resources so far.
There is much starkness here, but also much hope. Hope that we can do a much better job addressing the needs of the old-old members of our tribe. Perhaps the demandingness of our baby boomer generation will serve us well in this regard. We're all heading in the same direction.
Another Country: Navigating the Emotional Terrain of Our Elders.......2005-08-19
This book is written in a readable style that holds your interest. I bought it to help understand my elderly father who is suffering from dementia, but I found it told me a lot about myself and what I will want and need in the next 20 years. Mary Pipher's insightful and easy to understand.
Another country: the tourist perspective.......2003-11-29
Not being "old-old" myself, with both parents dead, I picked up this book out of curiosity. Piper does not mince words. She says at the outset, "Old age is not for sissies," and she goes on to describe life as an old person in a country designed for the young. It's an apt metaphor: the old learn a new language and a new terrain.
Pipher offers creative solutions that are not always easy, as she herself is the first to admit. Not everyone is equipped to be a caretaker. And as a society we do not have the infrastructure to deal with the challenges that increase daily.
Ironically, she notes that having a purpose in life will keep us young longer: the 85-year-old woman with an overaged dependent son may seem indulgent to outsiders, but she has a reason to get up every day. Yet at the same time, challenging work and respect from the community -- the source of purpose for most of us -- will be denied by a society that worships youth.
Pipher seems to be selling us on the importance of caring for the elderly. It's a way our own children will learn respect for the family and for us, she says. Yet many of us will not have children of our own. Today something like one-third of households have only one member. Being single or childless is no longer "odd." And sometimes a parent disappears from a child's life, only to re-appear in a time of need. There's no basis for a relationship -- it's not about healing but about building a relationship with a stranger .
Pipher does not address these topics, but the thousands of midlife adults who face aging parents will say she's offered more than enough to benefit her readers.
Baby Boomers' Guide to Aging Parents.......2003-03-01
They raised us on Dr. Spock. Not the pointy-eared Nimoyian character on Star Trek! Dr. Benjamin Spock, the Baby Doc! And Mary Pipher has done for the children what Spock did for our parents - answered perplexing questions like "Why do they do that?" and "What can I do?"
Pipher's thesis is that "Knowing when people were born allows us to predict attitudes and behaviors. A person from a specific era will have a certain `collective consciousness.'" She explains that we dwell in "different cultural time zones." This explains, for instance, why Mom and Aunt Em save all those few tiny bites of leftover food that they then leave in the refridgerator to turn green - the hoarding tendencies wrought by the Great Depression and rationing on the Homefront during World War II.
I am currently moving my parents to an Assisted Living Facility and this book is an important resource. I highly recommend it. Reviewed by TundraVision.
Don't Wait Until Later....Read it Now!.......2000-10-04
I cried, I laughed and I sighed at the grim truths and revelations in Mary Pipher's book on aging and the place held in our society by our elderly citizens. I folded so many page corners over for review that the book looks like a favorite old cook book. I wish I had read this book before my parents entered old-old age. I was not raised with any grandparents nearby, so had no examples for what to expect and how to deal with and care for aging parents. Growing old with dignity and dealing with declining health and eventually death is the hardest passage of our lives. None of the other passages as individuals, parents or spouses can compare to these challenges. Adolescence, puberty, child-birth, child-rearing, divorce...all seem like a walk through the park in comparison.
Having said that, we all need to read the book before our parents reach the old-old phase (although who knows exactly when that might happen). If you're in your 40's or 50's, chances are you should be reading this book. Although the book doesn't provide any recipes or procedures for dealing with the issues of the aging, it does provide valuable insights and suggestions into attitudes, fears, and concerns of both the aged and their care-givers.
We just assumed that mother would ask for help when she needed it, but her pride, reluctance to communicate and fierce need to be independent would not allow her to admit how needy and frail she had become. We finally discovered how badly she had deteriorated (although she still wouldn't admit it), and are still regretting that we didn't intervene sooner. She's now in a convalescent hospital, sometimes stoically accepting her condition, but sometimes angry, depressed and resentful. I'm sure I'll pick up the book and read it again as we find our way through this passage. And then when I become a young-old and finally an old-old, hopefully I'll be able to remember the valuable life lessons I'm acquiring now.
Amazon.com
Listening to the author William Pollack read Real Boys, it doesn't take long to find out that being a boy these days isn't all fun and games. As codirector of the Center for Men at McLean Hospital/Harvard Medical Center, Pollack has seen behind the stoic masks of troubled, modern boys as they struggle to cope with the mixed messages, conflicting expectations, and increasingly complex demands they receive from our evolving society. "New research shows that boys are faring less well ... that many boys have remarkably fragile self-esteem, and that the rates of both depression and suicide in boys are frighteningly on the rise."
What are parents to do? They could start by listening to the author's thoughts on contemporary child-rearing techniques, analysis of the root causes of many male behavior problems, and recommendations for avoiding all-too-common pitfalls. In Real Boys, Pollack draws upon nearly two decades of research to support his theories and makes an impressive assault on the popular myths surrounding the conventional definition of masculinity.
While listening to Real Boys, it is important to remember that Pollack is a psychologist, not a professional narrator. His enunciation is less than perfect and his reading sometimes strikes a clinical tone, but his intelligent writing and the obvious concern he holds for this important subject help carry a passionate message and compensate for any vocal shortcomings. (Running time: three hours, two cassettes) --George Laney
Book Description
Featuring a new preface by the author on how parents can make a difference.With author appearances on Good Morning America, The Today Show, 20 /20 and NPR's Fresh Air, and featuring articles in Newsweek, Time, and The New York Times, Real Boys is one of the most talked-about and influential books published this year.Based on William Pollack's groundbreaking research at Harvard Medical School over two decades, Real Boys explores why many boys are sad, lonely, and confused although they may appear tough, cheerful, and confident. Pollack challenges conventional expectations about manhood and masculinity that encourage parents to treat boys as little men, raising them through a toughening process that drives their true emotions underground. Only when we understand what boys are really like, says Pollack, can we help them develop more self-confidence and the emotional savvy they need to deal with issues such as depression, love and sexuality, drugs and alcohol, divorce, and violence.
Customer Reviews:
Not Just About Boys.......2007-08-20
As the sister of six brothers and the mother of two boys, I found myself agreeing with the author on many fronts.
What the author calls "The Boy Code" is what Steven Covey would probably call using efficiency rather than effectiveness as a goal in raising males. The problem is that efficiency leaves the boy with a limited arsenal when it comes to understanding and taking responsibility for his own emotional life. It certainly leaves the boy with limited resources when it comes to understanding or helping others who are wrestling with problems in their own inner life. The lie of "The Boy Code" is that recognizing one's own "negative" emotions is a self-indulgence that simply makes a person weak, a weakness that is permissible in famales, but not in males. Nothing could be further from the truth.
We don't do our boys any favors by teaching them to ignore their own emotions. We also do them a disservice if we let the expectations learned from females dictate what kind of emotional life we expect of males. I know men who live by what this book is espousing. They aren't "wimps", as some reviewers have implied that boys raised in this way will be. They are adults who understand their own emotions well enough to not be unknowingly ruled by them. They know when they are angry, they can admit when they feel fear, and they know how to choose to act under those circumstances, rather than simply reacting, which is what people who refuse to acknowledge their own inner life tend to do. They are certainly not men who expect themselves to experience emotion in the same way as their wives or other women in their lives do, nor do they feel some authority to dictate emotional taboos to other men. They process their emotions in their own ways, they let others do the same, and they don't apologize for it.
I wouldn't, however, limit the observations in this book to boys. There are women and girls who, for whatever reason, have learned to live by what the author calls "The Boy Code." There are men who don't process their emotions as this book implies that men raised in earlier decades will. For that reason, I would caution that the reader not presume after reading this book that he or she now "understands men." The book gives tools for understanding others and helping them to understand themselves, and points out some ineffective but "efficient" ways that people often use in dealing with strong emotion. Knowing these common human patterns isn't a substitute for paying attention to the actions and emotional style of the person you're actually dealing with.
The reviewers who complain that the book takes a great many pages to repeat the same story over and over have a point. A reader who does not want or need so many examples to get the author's point won't lose much by simply skimming the book after the first 100-200 pages or so.
Author wants boys to be "nurtured" to be wimps and sissies !.......2007-08-12
In a nutshell,(which is where this book belongs), the "author" wants boys to be wimps and sissies. The fact that a major New York publisher would print such nonsense pretty well proves that Communism is not dead, but like a snake has simply changed it's skin; AKA Social Marxism. Had William S. Pollack been around in 1776, his advise to Patrick Henry would no doubt have been to "let it all out" and cry about it, and counselling for the depression.
The fact that you can buy this book for a mear penny pretty much says it all.
Few people who have actually owned and read the book feel any need to keep it on their bookshelves. Mine is now going in the trash. As an antdote to this nonsense, I recomend "THE WAR AGAINST BOYS" by Christina Sommers, also sold bt Amazon.
this book is boring.......2007-06-20
It took so much effort to get through this book, and I'm not even sure why I read the whole thing--I must have been really bored. If you want to read a book full of stories about wealthy teenage boys who can't decide which ivy league school to attend written by a man who clearly thinks academic achievement is the single most important thing in life, this is the book for you. And most of the stories sound fictional; maybe that's just because Pollack isn't a talented writer.
I gained nothing from this book and I want my money back.
Great balanced account with concrete and practical suggestions.......2006-12-08
William Pollack certainly has impressive credentials with respect to writing on this topic. This is apparent from the editorial reviews above. More importantly, he is a good writer who brings the inner life of boys and the challenges they face in our society to life. He provides both an inside view and a worthwhile outside perspective.
One of the repeating themes in the books is that we have contradictory expectations of men (boys) in our contemporary society. For example, on one level we expect men to be strong, tough, etc. At the same time, there is also a tacit expectation that contemporary men embrace the "New Age" ideal of being tender and vulnerable. Dr. Pollack points out that this causes many men to feel conflicted and often reduces them to painful silence and often isolation.
While Dr. Pollack covers the inside life of boys, he also does an admirable job of citing relevant statistics on how boys performance is slipping academically and other useful objective sociological data. He covers this issue from every angle and goes beyond diagnosing the problems to making concrete suggestions for parents, schools and society at large.
This book is a valuable addition to the literature on boys and the challenges they face. It is definitely a must own book for anyone who is raising a boy along with "Parenting from the Inside Out" by Daniel Siegel which is great for any parent.
find another book .......2006-08-05
Makes many accurate observations about boy behavior and its origins,however,the book leans a little too much toward "feminization" of boys in preventing behavioral problems.This may be the politically-correct way to help boys,but not the productive way or the ethical way.
Book Description
This thoroughly revised edition of a classic text uses a topical organization to emphasize the processes of development. It examines a variety of theoretical viewpoints, providing students with a well balanced view of a child’s developmental process; all of the chapters are thoroughly grounded in research. In this edition, a new co-author, esteemed cognitive developmentalist Mary Gauvain, joins E. Mavis Hetherington, Ross Parke, and Virginia Locke--creating a true powerhouse in developmental psychology.
Book Description
"Creative Activities for Young Children, 7th Edition," is an excellent tool for fostering creativity in young children and can be used by two and four-year colleges and universities, technical colleges, child care provider training, and child care centers. It is also an appealing guide for parents and homeschool providers.
Customer Reviews:
teachers love it.......2000-06-26
My Head Start teachers loved this book when it was used in their CDA class, they found it very helpful and full of ideas.
Average customer rating:
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Language, Learning, and Behavior Disorders: Developmental, Biological, and Clinical Perspectives
Manufacturer: Cambridge University Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover
General | Mental Health | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
General | Medicine | Subjects | Books
Obstetrics & Gynecology | Specialties | Medicine | Subjects | Books
General | Pediatrics | Specialties | Medicine | Subjects | Books
General | Psychiatry | Specialties | Medicine | Subjects | Books
Audiology & Speech Pathology | Allied Health Professions | Medicine | Subjects | Books
Audiology & Speech Pathology | Allied Health Professions | Medical | Professional & Technical | Subjects | Books
General | Psychiatry | Internal Medicine | Medicine | Medical | Professional & Technical | Subjects | Books
French | Foreign Language Nonfiction | Nonfiction | Subjects | Books
Health, Mind & Body | French | Foreign Language Books | Specialty Stores | Books
Nonfiction | French | Foreign Language Books | Specialty Stores | Books
Professional & Technical | French | Foreign Language Books | Specialty Stores | Books
All French Books | French | Foreign Language Books | Specialty Stores | Books
All Titles | Qualifying Textbooks - Fall 2007 | Stores | Books
ASIN: 0521472296 |
Book Description
The role of language as a bridge between learning disability and psychiatric disorder is the unifying theme of this wide-ranging book. The editors of this text give particular emphasis to attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, dyslexia, and autistic disorder. Contributors seek explanations for the dual incidence of psychiatric and language disorder by considering research in developmental, cognitive and biological fields, and speculate on the contribution of new imaging modalities. Essays cover topical issues such as syndrome definition in dyslexia, acquired memory disorder in childhood, and biology-behavior correspondence, as well as a range of treatment options. Enlivened with case vignettes, and offering insights into the range of current thinking on language and behavior, this will prove to be a rich resource.
Customer Reviews:
IEP Resource.......2001-11-30
Any parent of a child diagnosed with a language disorder who needs to generate or review an IEP for their school program would find this book required reading.
This has been my primary source for information on nonverbal language disorder, NLD.
Book Description
In this very special book, teachers, parents and care givers will be exposed to hundreds of age-appropriate activities for young children through grade 5?all aimed at promoting creativity through art activities across the curriculum. The author presents a wealth of information about developing creativity in children and in their adult educators with such activities as art and food recipes, finger plays, and poems and through the use of such resources as book and software lists, advice for choosing children?s books, hundreds of resource Web sites and much more. Readers will appreciate the sound theoretical base presented for the hundreds of practical activities designed to encourage creativity in children and their educators. ?This One?s for You? and ?Think About It? sections make the text more interesting by expanding coverage to related, thought-provoking research in early childhood education. This book is a must have for those looking to bring creativity to young children in a very engaging way.
Customer Reviews:
Great Service!.......2007-08-31
I recieved my book promptly and my book was in great condition. I would buy from again.
Just A Little Pricey...But Excellent.......2006-09-28
Mayesky balances theory, standards, and practicality in her book by organizing it like a house. She builds up the discipline from the ground (what is creative arts in early childhood) to the unique, but unnecessary, touches (applying early childhood creative arts for holidays).
It's expensive, but worth the price. Vocational schools that offer early child development training use this text.
Average customer rating:
- Fantastic !!
- Great
- Does your childs have ADHD?
- My "bible" on parenting
- More practical books out there
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Raising Your Spirited Child Workbook
Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
Manufacturer: Harper Paperbacks
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
Marriage & Family | Sociology | Social Sciences | Nonfiction | Subjects | Books
Child Development | Babies & Toddlers | Parenting | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books
General | Parenting | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books
General | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books
Workbooks | Education | Reference | Subjects | Books
Similar Items:
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Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, Energetic
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Raising Your Spirited Child Rev Ed: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, and Energetic
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Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles: Winning for a Lifetime
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Setting Limits with Your Strong-Willed Child : Eliminating Conflict by Establishing Clear, Firm, and Respectful Boundaries
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Parenting the Strong-Willed Child: The Clinically Proven Five-Week Program for Parents of Two- to Six-Year-Olds [Revised and Updated Edition]
Accessories:
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Health o Meter HDC100-01 "Grow with Me" Teddy Bear Scale for Babies and Toddlers
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Braun IRT 4020 ThermoScan Ear Thermometer
ASIN: 0060952407 |
Book Description
The Essential Companion Workbook To The National Bestseller Raising Your Spirited Child,
In this companion workbook, Mary Sheedy Kurcinka brings readers into her world-famous workshops, where she offers parents and educators insights, emotional support and proven strategies for dealing with spirited children. The key word that distinguishes spirited children from other children is "more" -- more intense, more persistent, more sensitive and more uncomfortable with change. Through exercises, observations and dialogue from actual groups, Kurcinka helps readers learn to identify the triggers that lead to tantrums and challenging behaviors. Included are
- clues to help you identify the little things that can make or break a day
- tips for profiling your child's temperament and your own
- cues that indicate intensity is rising
- successful strategies for reducing and eliminating power struggles
By combining the intuition and compassion gained from parenting a spirited child with the wisdom of an expert who has worked with thousands of families, Mary Sheedy Kurcinka helps parents and educators view their unique challenge with perseverance, flexibility, sensitivity, and, most of all, enjoyment.
Customer Reviews:
Fantastic !!.......2007-01-12
This is a fabulous book. My child to a tee with great suggestions on how to raise these types of children.
Great.......2006-03-09
The first time I read the book, was without the workbook. I bought the book and workbook once I returned the borrowed one to it's owner. Great investment! Helps put everything into practice.
Does your childs have ADHD?.......2004-03-24
The author does not appear to have a real life understanding of ADHD. On page 35 she claims that "the difference between a perceptive spirited child and a child experiencing ADHD is that the spirited child will notice everything going on around her, but will be able to process it more quickly and ultimately be able to focus on and complete a task... A child EXPERIENCING ADHD (as if it is a condition that comes and goes) will not be able to process information quickly ...will be unable to figure out what is the most important information and will not be able to focus on and complete a task. In part I agree. Children with ADHD have a hard time selecting the most important facts to focus on. However, their brains process information so quickly that their brains have already moved on to another subject, questions, curiosity, etc. before their hand or mouth or body has caught up with it. When I read her viewpoints on ADHD I felt frustrated. It was very hard to take her advice to heart because she doesn't seem to have any real life experience with ADHD. Her books (I bought two of them) are currently sitting unused in my bookshelf.
My qualification to speak on this real life viewpoint... I am an ADHD adult with 4 children. Three of them have ADHD(2 w/hyperactivity and 1 w/inattentive). I currently homeschool them because the teachers could not meet their needs.
My "bible" on parenting.......2002-04-20
I have read the book twice and continue to reference it. This book has helped me understand my 7 year old son's behavior. I first read it when he was 4. My son is very intense, sensitive, perceptive, persistent, and energetic. He cannot handle any kind of change if he is not forewarned. He notices every little detail, will argue till he is blue in the face, and cannot sit while eating at the dinner table!!
Now we are able to prevent many "blowups" because of the clues this book has taught us to look for. I even realized that I am a spirited person as well and that is why he and I were clashing w/ a lot of things unlike he and his father. I cannot praise this book enough. I will constantly refer to it and I plan on giving his wife a copy when he gets married!! Thank you Mary Sheedy Kurcinka!!
More practical books out there.......2001-06-28
I found the book 'Raising your Spirited Child' useful and helpful but did not find this work book very practical. It was mostly written in the setting of a class or workshop which made it ponderous to read. Although this was a very warm and personal approach it was just not very concise. I found there was too much emphasis on reasoning and adapting to the child instead of teaching the child to adapt. I realise that with spirited children a parent must be keenly aware of the childs limitations and that a little planning goes a long way in reducing stress. But I also think that a parent must be very careful not to go too far as to lower expectations and make the family child centered. You don't have to be your childs personal therapist in order to be a good parent.
This book does not cover the role of negative reinforcement which is so prevalent with spirited children who are misbehaving. Without this understanding we could not begin to address the issues affecting our own spirited child. For this I would strongly recommend any parent of a spirited child to read: "The Manipulative Child: How To Regain control and Raise Resilient, Resourceful, and Independent Kids".
This book does offer hope and encouragement which I guess we all need when struggling day to day with a demanding child. Nothing prepares a parent for dealing with a spirited child and they put every parenting assumption and technique to the ultimate test. Although my wife and I did not find this work book helpful for our situation, it does add to the first book which we found very helpful.
For our spirited child, the books "Ain't Misbehavin" by William P Garvey, and "Setting Limits" by Robert J MacKenzie, helped us the most. By teaching our child self control, it allowed the positive spirited traits to overshadow the negative ones.
Books:
- Rave Master Volume 23 (Rave Master (Graphic Novels))
- Return of the Warrior (Avon Historical Romance)
- Royal Assassin (The Farseer Trilogy, Book 2)
- Sailing from Byzantium: How a Lost Empire Shaped the World
- Saint George and the Dragon
- Star Wars Episode I: Dangers of the Core (Star Wars: Jedi Readers Step 3)
- Stargate Atlantis: Exogenesis: SGA-5 (Stargate Atlantis)
- Summer of the Sea Serpent (Magic Tree House #31)
- Sundown Towns: A Hidden Dimension of American Racism
- SUPERNANNY: HOW TO GET THE BEST FROM YOUR CHILDREN
Books Index
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- Electronic Structure: Basic Theory and Practical Methods
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- Using Design Basics to Get Creative Results
- Trans Canada Trail: The British Columbia Route
- U.S. Government Leaders: Dean Acheson-Ulysses S. Grant, 1-308
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too
