Reconcilable Differences: with Study Guide

Is is possible for a couple whose marriage is in serious trouble or a couple who is already divorced to restore harmony -- and even love -- to their relationship?

Jim Talley believes it is, and Reconcilable Differences shows why reconciliation is worth the effort. This book provides practical, biblical advice on how to resolve conflicts and develop a relationship based on mutual love, respect, and trust.

Every couple has arguments, but what happens when recurring battles begin to feel like full-scale war? Do you retreat in hurt and angry silence, hoping that a spouse who "just doesn't get it" will eventually see things your way? Urge your partner to face up to his or her shortcomings? Demand some immediate changes or else?

This practical guide offers new solutions for couples frustrated by continual attempts to make each other change. In their decades of clinical practice and research in the field of couple therapy, Dr. Andrew Christensen and Dr. Neil Jacobson developed a therapeutic approach for couples based on one simple truth: no matter how much two people love each other, their differences will eventually cause conflict. But this reality does not have to get in the way of healthy, happy, and long-lasting romance. In fact, learning to accept your differences in an atmosphere of empathy and understanding not only can help you recover from arguments more quickly , and it also can lead to greater intimacy in your relationship.

Filled with thought-provoking exercises and real-life examples, the book is designed to help you understand the conflicts you have with your partner, learn why you may have the same fights again and again, and keep small incompatibilities from causing big problems. The authors dissect typical relationship conflicts, illuminating why one person's well-meaning comment may seem to the other like a criticism or an attack. Gaining insight into your own "hot buttons" for hurt feelings and pain, as well as your partner's, you will learn to acknowledge each other's emotional vulnerabilities and innate personality differences. Most important, the book describes concrete steps you can take to achieve active acceptance of each other's feelings and actions. In the process, each of you may find yourself more open to making the kinds of changes the other was asking for all along.

Based on Drs. Christensen and Jacobson's groundbreaking and tested therapeutic approach, Reconcilable Differences shows how acceptance can bring lasting peace to couples' wars. Discover how you and your partner can traverse the difficult path from conflict to closeness, from enmity to intimacy.

Alice: "Men and women are completely of equal value. Their biological differences do not detract from that equal status."

Nancy: "Men and women are equally valued by God, but are assigned different roles."

Who do you agree with? Alice and Nancy were writing colleagues and friends with a great deal of respect for one another before they discovered their polarized views on the roles of the Christian woman. Here, they take on the debate of women's roles, showing that you can be Christians and hold different views. Each chapter sets up the issue and then moves into viewpoints from each woman. Above all, the authors want to leave the reader with the message that love and unity are more important than the stands women take or the choices they make. They even encourage readers to venture into some unlikely friendships with other women who don't exactly agree with everything they hold to be true in order to grow in maturity.

Which Are the Central Issues of Our Faith? About Which Issues Can You Disagree?.......2006-09-20

Robert Stephan Cohen believes that no marriage is half as complicated as a divorce -- and with three decades of experience as a high-profile divorce lawyer, he should know! In Reconcilable Differences, he gives couples the keys to navigating conflicts before they become roadblocks to marital harmony.

Cohen begins by identifying the seven "Universal Differences" that often lead to conflict but don't necessarily signal the end of the union:

With the cool, compassionate voice of a trusted adviser, he then explains that there are three phases of conflict: Warning signs -- the early tip-offs that trouble is brewing; Crimes and misdemeanors -- actions guaranteed to raise tempers; and Reconciliation -- the process of getting back on track. Drawing on countless case histories, Cohen reveals how to put these differences behind you and move forward -- together.

A divorce attorney identifies the seven most common relationship problems--parallel lives, communication, sex, money, infidelity, transitions, and in-laws/family--and explains how to deal with each of them.