Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
Average customer rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • great information
  • This Book Explained SO MUCH about abusive relationships
  • I don't understand why he treats me this way. He say he loves me.
  • important information for victims and advocates
  • Best book on abusers - EVER!
Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
Lundy Bancroft
Manufacturer: Berkley Trade
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Domestic ViolenceDomestic Violence | Abuse & Self Defense | Mental Health | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
Sexual AbuseSexual Abuse | Abuse & Self Defense | Mental Health | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
GeneralGeneral | Mental Health | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
GeneralGeneral | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
AbuseAbuse | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
GeneralGeneral | Counseling | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
GeneralGeneral | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
PersonalityPersonality | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
GenderGender | By Topic | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
Dysfunctional RelationshipsDysfunctional Relationships | Family Relationships | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books
Similar Items:
  1. The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond
  2. The Emotionally Abused Woman : Overcoming Destructive Patterns and Reclaiming Yourself The Emotionally Abused Woman : Overcoming Destructive Patterns and Reclaiming Yourself
  3. Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal With People Who Try to Control You Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal With People Who Try to Control You
  4. When Dad Hurts Mom: Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse When Dad Hurts Mom: Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse
  5. The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing

Accessories:
  1. philosophy hope in a jar daily moisturizer philosophy hope in a jar daily moisturizer

ASIN: 0425191656
Release Date: 2003-09-02

Book Description

"He doesn't mean to hurt me-he just loses control."
"He can be sweet and gentle."
"He's scared me a few times, but he never hurts the children-he's a great father."
"He's had a really hard life..."

Women in abusive relationships tell themselves these things every day. Now they can see inside the minds of angry and controlling men-and change their own lives. In this groundbreaking book, a counselor shows how to improve, survive, or leave an abusive relationship, with:

€ The early warning signs
€ Nine abusive personality types
€ How to tell if an abuser can change, is changing, or ever will
€ The role of drugs and alcohol
€ What can be fixed, and what can't
€ How to leave a relationship safely

Customer Reviews:

5 out of 5 stars great information.......2007-10-12

If this information sounds even a little familiar, run as far & as fast as you can. It has nothing to do with you & he will never change. There is nothing you can do that will ever be "good enough". I wasted 24 years trying. There are great suggestions in this book to help you plan. Save your energy for you. The best information of the many, many books I have read on this topic.

5 out of 5 stars This Book Explained SO MUCH about abusive relationships.......2007-10-05

There were two messages that impacted me the most. First, that many things abusive men do to their partners are practically invisible due to the pervasive chauvinism and misogyny that is considered acceptable in our society. Second, the abusive and controling male needs to present himself as a puzzle that needs to be solved: it's a trick that keeps their partner occupied with guessing about what he'll do next instead of just leaving.

It was the hiding of their true agenda that kept me in a relationship with a couple of abusive males much longer than I should have stayed. I thought I could uncover what "really made them tick" by sticking it out with them. Then I figured that once I resolved the mystery of his disturbing, hostile and angry behavior we could live happily ever after.

This is the first book that helped me through my fantasy of believing I could "rescue" this kind of person from himself. I'd give it the highest rating for that alone. But there is so much more helpful information here that confirmed what I'd feared about them that I'd say this is a must-read for any woman confused about why she's not happy with her partner but feeling it's all her fault. Great as a gift!

4 out of 5 stars I don't understand why he treats me this way. He say he loves me........2007-09-23

If you've ever asked that question, then this is a book for you. It is very comprehensive in covering the multitude of reasons and justifications employed by abusive, controlling men. These types of relationships are killers, and getting help is critical to your well being.

Emotional and verbal abuse were areas of great interest to me and includes degradation, humiliation, keeping in control in all situations, withholding information to maintain control, deliberately doing something to make the victim feel diminished or embarrassed, isolating the victim from friends and family, and employing great guilt to paralyze and immobilize the victim from acting in a healthy way.

The confusing and detrimental thing in my life was that the abuser worked in a capacity which protected the rights of victims. The hypocrisy of it had me in denial for sometime. Ultimately it took others to tell me I was living in a hell created by an animal who said he loved me several times everyday.

This book was a Godsend to me. If you even think you are in one of these relationships, read this book.

5 out of 5 stars important information for victims and advocates.......2007-09-10

I work for a domestic violence provention and service program. I have given out hundreds of copies of this book. I refer to it often. One of the best books on the "why" that has been written

5 out of 5 stars Best book on abusers - EVER!.......2007-09-05

I have recommended this book to countless people and time and again, they are amazed at what they read. It validates the crazy experiences they have endured with partners or ex-partners and helps them understand that they are not the crazy one in the relationship. They are being systematically manipulated and beaten down, emotionally, mentally and perhaps physically, and their power is slowly being taken away from them.

Lundy succintly explains how abusers operate to gain power over their partners, using a range of crazy making words and behaviors. This book changed the way I look at and relate to abusive individuals and helped me have less compassion for them - which is/was a healthy thing.

The only problem I have with the book is that it focuses mainly on men as abusers b/c there tend to be more men who are abusers. In my experience women can also be mentally and psychologically abusive to their male partners (and others) although they are less likely to become killers of their partners- as too often male abusers can. Women are quite capable of becoming entitled, demeaning and threatening toward others when they don't get what they want.

Still, overall, this is THE finest book on abuse/abusers I have read and I have read a lot of them.
Angry Housewives Eating Bon Bons: A Novel
Average customer rating: 4 out of 5 stars
  • NICE
  • The Development of These 5 Women Over 30 Years Finally Captivated Me
  • Wonderful Book
  • Great book
  • Terrific read!
Angry Housewives Eating Bon Bons: A Novel
Lorna Landvik
Manufacturer: Fawcett
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Mass Market Paperback

ComicComic | General | Literature & Fiction | Subjects | Books
ContemporaryContemporary | General | Literature & Fiction | Subjects | Books
GeneralGeneral | United States | World Literature | Literature & Fiction | Subjects | Books
ComicComic | General | Literature & Fiction | 4-for-3 Books Store | Stores | Books
ContemporaryContemporary | General | Literature & Fiction | 4-for-3 Books Store | Stores | Books
GeneralGeneral | United States | World Literature | Literature & Fiction | 4-for-3 Books Store | Stores | Books
All 4-for-3 DealsAll 4-for-3 Deals | 4-for-3 Books Store | Stores | Books
Similar Items:
  1. Patty Jane's House of Curl Patty Jane's House of Curl
  2. Oh My Stars: A Novel Oh My Stars: A Novel
  3. Welcome to the Great Mysterious (Ballantine Reader's Circle) Welcome to the Great Mysterious (Ballantine Reader's Circle)
  4. The Memory Keeper's Daughter The Memory Keeper's Daughter
  5. The Glass Castle: A Memoir The Glass Castle: A Memoir

ASIN: 0345475690
Release Date: 2005-03-29

Book Description

The women of Freesia Court are convinced that there is nothing good coffee, delectable desserts, and a strong shoulder can’t fix. Laughter is the glue that holds them together—the foundation of a book group they call AHEB (Angry Housewives Eating Bon Bons), an unofficial “club” that becomes much more. It becomes a lifeline. Holding on through forty eventful years, there’s Faith, a lonely mother of twins who harbors a terrible secret that has condemned her to living a lie; big, beautiful Audrey, the resident sex queen who knows that with good posture and an attitude you can get away with anything; Merit, the shy doctor’s wife with the face of an angel and the private hell of an abusive husband; Kari, a wise woman with a wonderful laugh who knows the greatest gifts appear after life’s fiercest storms; and finally, Slip, a tiny spitfire of a woman who isn’t afraid to look trouble straight in the eye.

This stalwart group of friends depicts a special slice of American life, of stay-at-home days and new careers, of children and grandchildren, of bold beginnings and second chances, in which the power of forgiveness, understanding, and the perfectly timed giggle fit is the CPR that mends broken hearts and shattered dreams.


From the Trade Paperback edition.

Download Description

From her sensational sleeper hit Patty Jane's House of Curl to her heartwarming novel Welcome to the Great Mysterious, Lorna Landvik has won the hearts of readers everywhere by skillfully balancing hilarity with pathos, and bittersweet insights with heartwarming truths. Now she returns to her beloved, eccentric stomping ground of small-town Minnesota where the most eclectic, and engaging group of women you'll ever meet share love, loss, and laughter.

Sometimes life is like a bad waiter—it serves you exactly what you don't want. The women of Freesia Court have come together at life's table, fully convinced that there is nothing good coffee, delectable desserts, and a strong shoulder can't fix. Laughter is the glue that holds them together—the foundation of a book group they call AWEB—Angry Wives Eating Bon Bons—an unofficial "club" that becomes much more. It becomes a lifeline.

The five women each have a story of their own to tell. There's Faith, the newcomer, a lonely housewife and mother of twins, a woman who harbors a terrible secret that has condemned her to living a lie; big, beautiful Audrey, the resident sex queen who knows that good posture and an attitude can let you get away with anything; Merit, the shy, quiet doctor's wife with the face of an angel and the private hell of an abusive husband; Kari, a thoughtful, wise woman with a wonderful laugh as "deep as Santa Claus's with a cold" who knows the greatest gifts appear after life's fiercest storms; and finally, Slip, activist, adventurer, social changer, a tiny, spitfire of a woman who looks trouble straight in the eye and challenges it to arm wrestle.

Holding on through forty eventful years—through the swinging Sixties, the turbulent Seventies, the anything-goes Eighties, the nothing's-impossible Nineties—the women will take the plunge into the chaos that inevitably comes to those with the temerity to be alive and kicking. Angry Housewives Eating Bon Bons depicts a special slice of American life, of stay-at-home days and new careers, children and grandchildren, bold beginnings and second chances, in which the power of forgiveness, understanding, and the perfectly timed giggle fit is the CPR that mends broken hearts and shattered dreams.

Once again Lorna Landvik leaves you laughing and crying, as she reveals perhaps the greatest truth: that there is nothing like the saving grace of best friends.


"Highly entertaining . . . Almost as hard to put down [as] Mary McCarthy's The Group."
    THE SEATTLE TIMES

"A lively story as delectable as a five-pound box of chocolates . . . A thoroughly engaging chronicle of friendship and the substantive place it holds in women's lives."
   ANNE LECLAIRE, AUTHOR OF LEAVING EDEN

"It is impossible not to get caught up in the lives of the book group members. . . . Landvik's gift lies in bringing these familiar women to life with insight and humor."
    THE DENVER POST

"A guilty pleasure . . . This light, snappy read may be her best yet."
    MIDWEST LIVING MAGAZINE

"Honesty, humor, and profound emotion . . . are the hallmarks of the book. Told alternately from each woman's perspective, and ranging in time from the late 1960s to the late 1990s, Landvik accurately captures the thinking, the culture, and the feeling of each decade. . . . [She] treats her characters, whose stories drive the nove

Customer Reviews:

3 out of 5 stars NICE.......2007-09-27

This book is about five women who form a book club. It was soft, easy, and comfortable. Unfortunately, my pillow shares these same qualities, and like my pillow, I just have to think about this book and I start to yawn. I can understand how some people (women) might like this book and generously grant it five stars, although for me it was just - nice. In my opinion, it was worthy of 2.5 stars, but I gave it three because hey, I wanted to be nice too.

Not only was it so nice that it bordered boring, I've never read anything so well contrived. The characters were so obviously planned; they never let you forget that they were fictional. What's more, Laura Landvik must have had an extensive check list of issues that she felt must make an appearance in the story, it would have been fine with me had she cut the list in half and really concentrated on how a few of these issues have been addressed over the years. Instead, she touched so briefly on so many issues like: alcoholism, homosexuality, war, religion, menopause, spousal abuse, infidelity, drugs, mental health, AIDS, supernatural abilities, aging, racial issues, oppression, sex, and secrets, that it most definitely took away from the enjoyability factor.

5 out of 5 stars The Development of These 5 Women Over 30 Years Finally Captivated Me.......2007-09-08

Worried about the rather flippant title, I went ahead and got this book for a trip just for an easy "beach read." It began as I suspected, rather shallow and a tad trite, but as I continued reading, I became more and more drawn into some of the characters and more curious to see how each of the 5 women would develop. Covering a 30 year span, 1968 to 1998, allowed enough time for each of their stories and personalities to really change and grow. I ended up loving it. As a bonus, each chapter is titled with an "Angry Housewives" Book Club selection and I am now reading some of these books. Thanks for the recommendations, Ms Landvik.

5 out of 5 stars Wonderful Book.......2007-07-04

I liked how the book went back from the 1960s to the present day. It was interesting to see how the characters evolved through time and how their lives changed.

4 out of 5 stars Great book.......2007-06-20

I really enjoyed reading this book and wish I had a great group of neighbors to start a book club with! Each character was so interesting and the growth through their lives was wonderful. I didn't want this book to end.

4 out of 5 stars Terrific read!.......2007-06-03

I found it tough to get into this book, but I stuck with it on the recommendation of a friend and was well-rewarded with an amazing story. This would be a great beach read!
You Don't Have to Take it Anymore: Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive Relationship into a Compassionate, Loving One
Average customer rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • Excellent Self-help For Individuals & Couples
  • The Best
  • No more walking on eggshells!!
  • The best book ever written on emotional abuse
  • Extremely valuable and helpful book!!!
You Don't Have to Take it Anymore: Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive Relationship into a Compassionate, Loving One
Steven Stosny
Manufacturer: Free Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

Sexual AbuseSexual Abuse | Abuse & Self Defense | Mental Health | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
GeneralGeneral | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
AbuseAbuse | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
Applied PsychologyApplied Psychology | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
Couples & Family TherapyCouples & Family Therapy | Counseling | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
Anger ManagementAnger Management | Stress | Personal Health | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
Similar Items:
  1. How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It: Finding Love Beyond Words How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It: Finding Love Beyond Words
  2. Manual of the Core Value Workshop Manual of the Core Value Workshop
  3. The Powerful Self The Powerful Self
  4. The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing
  5. The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to Win Your Wife's Heart Forever The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to Win Your Wife's Heart Forever

ASIN: 0743284690

Book Description

As many as one-third of all American women tiptoe through life as if they are walking on eggshells -- at home, they spend most of their time trying to avoid criticism, anger, put-downs, or cold shoulders from their husbands or boyfriends. This verbal and emotional abuse can erupt over anything and everything, matters large and small: housework, cooking, work, spending money, buying household items and clothes for the kids, and going out. Clearly, verbal and emotional abuse is a serious problem.

Relationship expert Dr. Steven Stosny has been featured on national media for the revolutionary techniques he uses in his Compassion-Power and Boot Camp programs, which help men rewire their resentment and anger, stop using emotionally abusive language and behavior, and compassionately recommit to their marriages and families.

Now, in You Don't Have to Take It Anymore, Dr. Stosny puts his effective, highly sought-after program into print, making it widely available for the first time for women who want to stop walking on eggshells. Drawing on his seventeen years of experience treating thousands of clients, Dr. Stosny explains the many different forms a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship can take. He explains how to identify abuse and why it's important to take action to change the relationship -- for not only is verbal and emotional abuse monumentally destructive to both the adults in the relationship, it also hurts their children. Dr. Stosny shows women and men how to apply his methods at home, shows women how to get their men to change, and demonstrates how they can know if change is permanent. Additionally, Dr. Stosny's program helps women recover from the pain and abuse by practicing self-healing skills so that they can reclaim their natural sense of competence and confidence. Using language that is more compassionate and accessible than in any other book on relationship abuse -- and different tactics from most other therapies and therapists -- You Don't Have to Take It Anymore presents a practical program that both women and men can use to stop verbal and emotional abuse.

Download Description

"As many as one-third of all American women tiptoe through life as if they are walking on eggshells -- at home, they spend most of their time trying to avoid criticism, anger, put-downs, or cold shoulders from their husbands or boyfriends. This verbal and emotional abuse can erupt over anything and everything, matters large and small: housework, cooking, work, spending money, buying household items and clothes for the kids, and going out. Clearly, verbal and emotional abuse is a serious problem. Relationship expert Dr. Steven Stosny has been featured on national media for the revolutionary techniques he uses in his Compassion-Power and Boot Camp programs, which help men rewire their resentment and anger, stop using emotionally abusive language and behavior, and compassionately recommit to their marriages and families.

Customer Reviews:

5 out of 5 stars Excellent Self-help For Individuals & Couples.......2007-05-08

Stosny's book is excellent! It teaches individuals how to heal from the pain anger has caused and how to heal relationhips damaged by anger in clear and simple steps. I have used the book in counseling with couples struggling in emotionally and physically abuse relationships. Doing the exercises and applying the principles in this book can bring peace and power to the individual and to the relationship.

5 out of 5 stars The Best.......2007-04-29

In my opinion, the best book out there for healing angry, emotionally abusive relationships--for both partners. His approach has been tried and tested for years, and is much more effective than the typical anger management and batterer intervention and prevention programs.

5 out of 5 stars No more walking on eggshells!!.......2007-04-23

This tremendous book is slowly chipping away at the walls of resentment, revealing a true sense of self that I thought was long since dead.
I'd also recommend "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" along side it. No matter what direction I choose, I am now positive that I will be much healthier and happier as a result.

5 out of 5 stars The best book ever written on emotional abuse.......2006-08-09

I have read many books on emotional abuse and this book, by far, is the best. Dr. Stosny must have been a fly on our wall over the last 25 years to be able to reiterate "verbatim" some of the conversations and events that have happened in our home.

As a woman, I highly recommend this book for other women who either know they're being emotionally abused, or have that gnawing feeling deep down inside that tells them something just isn't right about their relationship.

Dr. Stosny provides you with insight into your situation, and a Boot Camp section for your husband/boyfriend to go through. He also provides advice on what to do if either party is unwilling to go through the process. Make no mistake - this is NOT a quick fix. The abuser must come to terms with the fact that the recovery process may take years to complete. But things can still get much better than they are now very quickly.

Ultimately, this book provided me with much needed peace of mind by showing me that I wasn't crazy to think that life HAD to better than this, and that I didn't have to live this way. If you are in this situation, or know someone who is and if you love them, PLEASE buy this book. It will be the greatest thing you could ever give them.

5 out of 5 stars Extremely valuable and helpful book!!!.......2006-04-05

An angry or emotionally abusive relationship is overwhelming and confusing to both the husband and wife. Steven Stosny gives you a method with specific steps to take to get yourself out of this horrible situation, with both of you healing and hopefully saving your marriage. It is a remarkable book that has changed my life for the better. I have also been to his boot camp, which I highly recommend. Thank you Steven for giving my husband and I the tools to profoundly change our relationship back to a happy and loving one.
Stop Negotiating With Your Teen: Strategies for Parenting Your Angry, Manipulative, Moody, or Depressed Adolescent
Average customer rating: 4 out of 5 stars
  • Empowerment and Respect
  • Helpful, Useful Information
  • Stop Negotiating with Your Teen
  • That's my son you're talking about!
  • Gentle reminder for common sense
Stop Negotiating With Your Teen: Strategies for Parenting Your Angry, Manipulative, Moody, or Depressed Adolescent
Janet Sasson Edgette
Manufacturer: Perigee Trade
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

GeneralGeneral | Parenting | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books
TeenagersTeenagers | Parenting | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books
GeneralGeneral | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books
GeneralGeneral | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
Similar Items:
  1. Parenting Your Out-of-Control Teenager: 7 Steps to Reestablish Authority and Reclaim Love Parenting Your Out-of-Control Teenager: 7 Steps to Reestablish Authority and Reclaim Love
  2. Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall: A Parent's Guide to the New Teenager, Revised and Updated Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall: A Parent's Guide to the New Teenager, Revised and Updated
  3. Positive Discipline for Teenagers (Positive Discipline) Positive Discipline for Teenagers (Positive Discipline)
  4. Staying Connected to Your Teenager: How to Keep Them Talking to You and How to Hear What They're Really Saying Staying Connected to Your Teenager: How to Keep Them Talking to You and How to Hear What They're Really Saying
  5. I'm Not Mad, I Just Hate You!: A New Understanding of Mother-Daughter Conflict I'm Not Mad, I Just Hate You!: A New Understanding of Mother-Daughter Conflict

ASIN: 0399527893
Release Date: 2002-08-06

Book Description

A psychologist offers peace-making strategies for parents who don't know where to turn.

The sullen, withdrawn, sarcastic teenager. The defensive, wary, and helpless parent. This book builds a bridge between the two sides--with practical and supportive advice on how to:

* Contain conflicts before they escalate into violence
* Break through the teen's verbal intimidation
* Avoid futile arguments
* Turn confrontation into communication
* Stand firm against teen rage
* Manage teen manipulation
* Build the teen's self-esteem
* Talk to teens when no one knows what to say

For ever parent who's screamed, what am I going to do with you?, this book finally provides the answer.

Customer Reviews:

5 out of 5 stars Empowerment and Respect.......2007-07-21

This book is fantastic. I have spent the last ten years learning how to raise a very, very difficult child/teen. Much of what I learned in expensive therapy and specialist programs is covered in Edgette's book - and more effectively than in any of the many, many other books I've read. Stop Negotiating with Your Teen is concise and easy to understand. Edgette has a thorough understanding of these kids and the challenges they present. She doesn't try and create a standardised perfect parent. Instead she offers a practical, common sense approach to parenting that empowers parents to parent as leaders. She also helps parents to help their difficult teen make better choices. Siblings and parents alike benefit from the ensuing changes. Everyone in the family wins.

5 out of 5 stars Helpful, Useful Information.......2007-07-13

I was an angry, manipulative, moody and depressed adolescent--in fact I wrote about it in my book, CONFESSIONS OF A CATHOLIC SCHOOLGIRL by Michelle Kane.

This book has some outstanding strategies that may have worked if my parents paid enough attention to me and stopped fighting with each other long enough to try some of them.

4 out of 5 stars Stop Negotiating with Your Teen.......2007-06-11

Great book.... I would highly recommend this book for those parents who are at their wits end. This book offers great examples. I have used some of the suggestions in my own home setting.

4 out of 5 stars That's my son you're talking about!.......2007-01-18

On the advice of my best friend (to whom I have confided my child-rearing problems for over 25 years) I bought the book - Stop Negotiating With Your Teen:Strategies for Parenting Your Angry, Manipulative, Moody or Depressed Adolescent. I did so because my teen/adult son (age 20) is all of the above. I really liked the author's writing style. She mixed real-life cases with some clear cut behavior advice as well as behavior styles the teen may use. Boy, was I surprised to learn that my son was manipulating me and that I was letting him. It was a big eye-opener for me. I heavily relied on parts of the book that I read and re-read that really applied to our situation. Each time we had an encounter I could then more clearly draw upon the author's experience and the behaviors she wanted to encourage - both my son's and mine. I can tell you it has made a difference. A particularly nasty exchange that would have left me totally defeated was instead turned into a real chance for communication because of what I learned in this book. I would highly recommend this to anyone regardless of the age or managability of your teen. I have already loaned the book to a good friend who has a teenage daughter with an anger problem and she found it so valuable. A very good resource!

3 out of 5 stars Gentle reminder for common sense.......2007-01-07

If you are looking at this book, my heart goes out to you. This book doeesn't offer much in the way of a guideline, although has some nice stories that will make you feel like you're not going crazy. My real advice to you, after years of counseling, books, and true anguish of a mother, is to keep it simple. If your teen is depressed or struggling, they are not ready to respond to adult logic or reasoning. (That is why you are arguing all the time!) They need your love and compassion, but they also need consistency and consequences commensurate with their choices of actions. Pick your "must have's"...for example, must have no surliness at dinner? (That's reasonable! Especially if you have younger kids!) Surly at dinner? No cell phone or IM-ing for the rest of the evening. Don't tell them "why", or give them the platitude of "we're trying to love you, to show you, to blah blah blah"...they TRULY DON'T CARE why. Instead, make a list of choices, and their consequences...and then consistently apply them without arguing (by the way, there is no answer to "why are you doing this to me?")...end the tears, arguments and discussions. Keep it simple...your teen has enough mind games, uncertainty, pressure, frustration and communication issues at school. You should be the place where they know how it will end up, which is support, love, conveniences of home, and they also know how their choices will affect those rewards! And finally, don't blame yourself. Your teens depression and angst is a result of much, much more than the decisions you made in the past. It is what it is, and give them consistency, no arguing, and love to get through what the present is, not the past. My prayers to you and your family.
The Angry Heart: Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders : An Interactive Self-Help Guide
Average customer rating: 4 out of 5 stars
  • Real help, practical advise
  • Straight forward and insightful.
  • Wonderful Help!
  • Great Book!
  • The Angry Heart: Overcomcing Borderline and Addictive Disorders: An Interactive Self Help Guide
The Angry Heart: Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders : An Interactive Self-Help Guide
Ph.D. Joseph Santoro , and Ronald Jay Cohen
Manufacturer: New Harbinger Publications
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

GeneralGeneral | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
PathologiesPathologies | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
Personality DisordersPersonality Disorders | Mental Health | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
GeneralGeneral | Medicine | Subjects | Books
GeneralGeneral | Neurology | Internal Medicine | Medicine | Subjects | Books
GeneralGeneral | Psychiatry | Specialties | Medicine | Subjects | Books
GeneralGeneral | Neurology | Internal Medicine | Medicine | Medical | Professional & Technical | Subjects | Books
Similar Items:
  1. I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality
  2. Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care about Has Borderline Personality Disorder Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care about Has Borderline Personality Disorder
  3. Sometimes I Act Crazy: Living with Borderline Personality Disorder Sometimes I Act Crazy: Living with Borderline Personality Disorder
  4. Lost in the Mirror, 2nd Edition: An Inside Look at Borderline Personality Disorder Lost in the Mirror, 2nd Edition: An Inside Look at Borderline Personality Disorder
  5. Get Me Out of Here: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder Get Me Out of Here: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder

ASIN: 1572240806

Customer Reviews:

5 out of 5 stars Real help, practical advise.......2007-07-20

This book is an excellent guide for understanding borderline personality disorder and addictive behaviors. It clearly outlines the recovery steps someone with these disorders must take to live their life again. This book is very helpful to read as a family member of someone with bpd, as it gives you insight into how to have a relationship with someone recovering from borderline and other addictive behaviors. The book is well written and easy to read with practical advise.

5 out of 5 stars Straight forward and insightful........2007-05-05

I read this book to better understand my now ex-boyfriend. It helped me to not take personally his actions and gave me understanding and empathy. It will help a loved one of BPD to listen and react in ways that can help facilitate the journey to recovery. Although the book could not save our relationship, I am hopeful because he is now reading this book. The book offers steps to recovery through detailed exercises. The authors covered every area to guide the person with BPD to recovery. Awesome book!

5 out of 5 stars Wonderful Help!.......2007-04-11

I really love this book and it's a huge help for my recovery. I especially like that you can contact the authors and get feedback about your exercises and recovery. The exercises and journal entries are painful, but the authors explain that in order to fully recover, you have to practice "extinction." I highly recommend this book to anyone with Borderline Personality or other similar disorders.

5 out of 5 stars Great Book!.......2007-02-28

As a mental health therapist who specializes in treating BPD, I use this book in my BPD Group Therapy. The women may not recognize their own behaviors in themselves, but they can see their behaviors in others. The excerises are great and when done in a group setting, they offer support and validation from other members.

Although other research or treatments are not mentioned, it is a tool that can work well for some BPD people. I have found it helpful and so have the women who have used the book. I do use DBT at times along with the book, but for the most part, the book is the foundation of the Group.

D.B., M.A., LPC, WY

4 out of 5 stars The Angry Heart: Overcomcing Borderline and Addictive Disorders: An Interactive Self Help Guide.......2007-01-10

I found this book hit every single nerve in my body. The content just resonated with truth. The content is clear, easy to understand and goes a long way towards enabling me to understand the complexities of this disorder.
Twelve Angry Men: A Play in Three Acts
Average customer rating: 4 out of 5 stars
  • an amazing dramatic experience
  • "The burden of proof is on the prosecution... that's in the Constitution."
  • Twelve Angry Men
  • Good service
  • It Doesn't Get Much Better
Twelve Angry Men: A Play in Three Acts
Reginald Rose , and Sherman L. Sergel
Manufacturer: Dramatic Pub.
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

GeneralGeneral | Theater | Performing Arts | Arts & Photography | Subjects | Books
GeneralGeneral | History & Criticism | United States | World Literature | Literature & Fiction | Subjects | Books
GeneralGeneral | Criticism & Theory | History & Criticism | Literature & Fiction | Subjects | Books
GeneralGeneral | Drama | Literature & Fiction | Subjects | Books
jp-unknown2jp-unknown2 | Specialty Stores | Books
GeneralGeneral | Theater | Performing Arts | Arts & Photography | 4-for-3 Books Store | Stores | Books
GeneralGeneral | Drama | Literature & Fiction | 4-for-3 Books Store | Stores | Books
Criticism & TheoryCriticism & Theory | History & Criticism | Literature & Fiction | 4-for-3 Books Store | Stores | Books
GeneralGeneral | History & Criticism | United States | World Literature | Literature & Fiction | 4-for-3 Books Store | Stores | Books
All 4-for-3 DealsAll 4-for-3 Deals | 4-for-3 Books Store | Stores | Books
All TitlesAll Titles | Qualifying Textbooks - Fall 2007 | Stores | Books
Arts & PhotographyArts & Photography | Qualifying Textbooks - Fall 2007 | Stores | Books
Literature & FictionLiterature & Fiction | Qualifying Textbooks - Fall 2007 | Stores | Books
Similar Items:
  1. 12 Angry Men 12 Angry Men
  2. Inherit the Wind Inherit the Wind
  3. Reginald Rose's "Twelve Angry Men": A Study Guide from Gale's "Drama for Students" (Volume 23, Chapter 14) Reginald Rose's "Twelve Angry Men": A Study Guide from Gale's "Drama for Students" (Volume 23, Chapter 14)
  4. Lord of the Flies (Penguin Great Books of the 20th Century) Lord of the Flies (Penguin Great Books of the 20th Century)
  5. Julius Caesar (New Folger Library Shakespeare) Julius Caesar (New Folger Library Shakespeare)

ASIN: 0871293277

Book Description

The Penguin Classics debut that inspired a classic film and a current Broadway revival

Reginald Rose's landmark American drama was a critically acclaimed teleplay, and went on to become a cinematic masterpiece in 1957 starring Henry Fonda, for which Rose wrote the adaptation. A blistering character study and an examination of the American melting pot and the judicial system that keeps it in check, Twelve Angry Men holds at its core a deeply patriotic belief in the U.S. legal system. The story's focal point, known only as Juror Eight, is at first the sole holdout in an 11-1 guilty vote. Eight sets his sights not on proving the other jurors wrong but rather on getting them to look at the situation in a clear-eyed way not affected by their personal biases. Rose deliberately and carefully peels away the layers of artifice from the men and allows a fuller picture of America, at its best and worst, to form.

Customer Reviews:

5 out of 5 stars an amazing dramatic experience.......2006-10-03


Based on Reginald rose's teleplay, which then became an Academy Award nominated film, TWELVE ANGRY MEN is dynamite listening. The cast is stellar, including Dan Castellaneta (remembered for the voice of Homer Simpson); Jeffrey Donovan (to be seen in Sundance's Come Early Morning); Hector Elizondo (Pretty Woman and the Princess Diaries); Robert Foxworth (who played juror #3 on Broadway); James Gleason (The Days and Nights of Molly Dodd); Kevin Kilner (Shopgirl); Richard Kind (Spin City, Curb Your Enthusiasm); Armin Shimerman (Star Voyager); and Joe Spano (Hill Street Blues).

As they've shown in the past, LA Theatre works presents the best in audio drama, always offering award worthy performances by gifted actors before a live audience. Twelve Angry Men is one more amazing dramatic experience.

As most know, the Twelve Angry Men comprise a jury that is charged with determining the fate of a 19-year-old boy who stands accused of murdering his father. The action takes place during one afternoon as their deliberations reveal the biases and character of each man. This is a drama that has stood the test of time, speaking to us as eloquently today as it did some 50 years ago.

Riveting listening!

- Gail Cooke

4 out of 5 stars "The burden of proof is on the prosecution... that's in the Constitution.".......2006-09-23



Twelve Angry Men is one of those American classics that has grown more memorable over the years, an examination of a judicial system that allows each man his day in court with a jury of his peers. Although written in 1954, the play remains relevant in its intent. Juror Eight is pivotal, the one man who refuses to take the easy way out, requesting a logical examination of the facts before jumping to conclusions. The result of this one man's stand is significant, a gradual shifting of opinions as the other jurors speak their personal concerns, assumptions and general willingness to participate in the process in a meaningful way.

Each of the jurors, like Americans in general, brings his own mind set into the jury room. The evidence as presented acceptable to the majority, the first inclination of the majority is to vote the accused guilty. To further complicate the drama, the room is unbearably hot, some of the jurors anxious to escape the sweltering crucible of the small space, unwilling to put in the time or energy necessary to reach common agreement. Yet Juror Eight holds out, refusing to give in to the pressure of the more verbal jurors, calmly arguing the facts of the case and asking his fellow members to reconsider their opinions. Over time, the more thoughtful members become willing to discuss the troublesome aspects of the case before them, although those who have no patience chafe at the changing of opinion.

The beauty of this play lies in its simplicity, democracy in its purest and most practical form, when a single voice speaks to reasoned consideration. Despite the complexities of the various personalities and their views on crime, law and order and life in general, reason prevails, each character opening to the extraordinary experience of sharing opinions, calmly discussing the pertinent details of the case and reaching a decision based on more than impulse. While the play is dated by the composition of a twelve-man jury, commonplace at the time, the message is unchanged by the intervening years. As simple as its premise, Twelve Angry Men is a civics lesson in play form, a reminder of the legal tenets of a Democratic society. Luan Gaines/2006.





5 out of 5 stars Twelve Angry Men.......2006-02-22

We have just finished this reading this play in my Lit. Class( 7th grade) and I actually really enjoyed it! It mostly centers around the theme of the courage to be different and standing up for one's own beliefs. What surprised me the most was at the end, Juror #3 gives up because he is afraid to stand alone in contrast to Juror #8 who was the only one in the beg. of the play who believed that maybe the boy wasn't really guilty and that he deserved a fair decision made by the jury members. This is also written by the same author who wrote the play "Thunder on Sycamore Street" which also deals with basically the same themes.

4 out of 5 stars Good service.......2005-10-25

Book was in good condition. Shipment arrived in the specified time frame.

4 out of 5 stars It Doesn't Get Much Better.......2005-09-07

Twelve Angry Men is undoubtedly one of the best dialogue-driven stories of modern times. I would recommend that everyone be exposed to this story in either book, play or movie format sometime in their life. However, for anyone who has difficulty with reading or concentration, this particular format may prove somewhat difficult. The characters do not have names but only go by "Juror #1," "Juror #2," etc. It can be difficult to keep up with which character is which. Otherwise, one of the best stories around.
Anger Busting 101: The New ABC's for Angry Men & the Women Who Love Them
Average customer rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • I'm sure this is helpful, but.......
  • Anger Busting
  • Excellent
  • Sometimes anger is proper
  • Anger busting 101
Anger Busting 101: The New ABC's for Angry Men & the Women Who Love Them
Newton Hightower
Manufacturer: Bayou Publishing
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Sexual AbuseSexual Abuse | Abuse & Self Defense | Mental Health | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
Stress ManagementStress Management | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
Anger ManagementAnger Management | Stress | Personal Health | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
PerceptionPerception | By Topic | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
GeneralGeneral | Family Relationships | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books
Emotions & FeelingsEmotions & Feelings | Parenting | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books
TeenagersTeenagers | Parenting | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books
GeneralGeneral | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books
Similar Items:
  1. Beyond Anger: A Guide for Men: How to Free Yourself from the Grip of Anger and Get More Out of Life Beyond Anger: A Guide for Men: How to Free Yourself from the Grip of Anger and Get More Out of Life
  2. The Anger Busting Workbook: Simple, Powerful Techniques for Managing Anger & Saving Relationships The Anger Busting Workbook: Simple, Powerful Techniques for Managing Anger & Saving Relationships
  3. The Anger Trap: Free Yourself from the Frustrations that Sabotage Your Life The Anger Trap: Free Yourself from the Frustrations that Sabotage Your Life
  4. When Anger Hurts Your Relationship: 10 Simple Solutions for Couples Who Fight When Anger Hurts Your Relationship: 10 Simple Solutions for Couples Who Fight
  5. Angry Men And The Women Who Love Them: Breaking The Cycle Of Physical And Emotional Abuse Angry Men And The Women Who Love Them: Breaking The Cycle Of Physical And Emotional Abuse

Accessories:
  1. Health o Meter  HDC100-01 "Grow with Me" Teddy Bear Scale for Babies and Toddlers Health o Meter HDC100-01 "Grow with Me" Teddy Bear Scale for Babies and Toddlers

ASIN: 1886298041

Book Description

Anger Busting 101 is the first book to use the acclaimed Recovery approach to solve anger problems. It gives you dozens of quick tips you can use every day to diffuse anger early on. Author Newton Hightower expertly combines personal stories with scientific research and solid clinical data to give angry men and their families the hope and the help they need.

Customer Reviews:

2 out of 5 stars I'm sure this is helpful, but..............2007-03-16

It focuses on men who hit women, not on men who need to deal with anger constructively. Just not what I was looking for.

5 out of 5 stars Anger Busting.......2007-01-19

If you men with patience problems, contemptuous communications, etc. that equate to ANGER want simple advice and checklist type steps to help you gain control of 'flaw' in your personality, look no further.

If you ladies that care about/love a man with ANGER problems want simple advice and checklist type steps to help you help your man control the 'flaw' in his personality, look no further.

Simple to read and valuable for both genders.

I highly recommend it.

5 out of 5 stars Excellent.......2007-01-04

Very informative and easy to read for both sides of an angry relationship. There are many scientific facts in this book that you wouldn't realize without it. Like the effect cursing has on the chemical reations in your body and how aggresive driving effects the rest of your daily interactions. It also tells the different types of angry men and which ones can be reformed and the ones to walk away from.

3 out of 5 stars Sometimes anger is proper.......2006-07-18

Something that is missed is, sometimes you blow your stack when fully pushed to the wall with no recourse. Even a rabbit will bite in that situation. If this response is occasional, rather than a routine lifestyle, and results from the other person's dogmatic refusal to compromise while attacking your core values, it may indeed be the "other person's fault", or more accurately, you made a bad choice in mates.

5 out of 5 stars Anger busting 101.......2006-01-30

This book changed my life and is helping to change my husbands
How to Deal With Parents Who Are Angry, Troubled, Afraid, or Just Plain Crazy Second Edition
Average customer rating: 4 out of 5 stars
  • Parents should be insulted
  • Great resource for principals and teachers
  • Good information, some new some old, ridiculous price for the book
  • Wonderful Resource!
  • A great resource for new and future teachers
How to Deal With Parents Who Are Angry, Troubled, Afraid, or Just Plain Crazy Second Edition
Elaine K. McEwan
Manufacturer: Corwin Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

GeneralGeneral | Education | Nonfiction | Subjects | Books
Parent ParticipationParent Participation | Education | Nonfiction | Subjects | Books
School ManagementSchool Management | Education Theory | Education | Nonfiction | Subjects | Books
GeneralGeneral | Education | Professional & Technical | Subjects | Books
All TitlesAll Titles | Qualifying Textbooks - Fall 2007 | Stores | Books
NonfictionNonfiction | Qualifying Textbooks - Fall 2007 | Stores | Books
ProfessionalProfessional | Qualifying Textbooks - Fall 2007 | Stores | Books
Similar Items:
  1. Dealing With Difficult Parents: And With Parents in Difficult Situations Dealing With Difficult Parents: And With Parents in Difficult Situations
  2. How to Handle Difficult Parents: A Teacher's Survival Guide How to Handle Difficult Parents: A Teacher's Survival Guide
  3. How to Deal With Teachers Who Are Angry, Troubled, Exhausted, or Just Plain Confused How to Deal With Teachers Who Are Angry, Troubled, Exhausted, or Just Plain Confused
  4. Motivating and Inspiring Teachers: The Educational Leader's Guide for Building Staff Morale Motivating and Inspiring Teachers: The Educational Leader's Guide for Building Staff Morale
  5. Ten Traits of Highly Effective Principals: From Good to Great Performance Ten Traits of Highly Effective Principals: From Good to Great Performance

Accessories:
  1. Braun IRT 4020 ThermoScan Ear Thermometer Braun IRT 4020 ThermoScan Ear Thermometer

ASIN: 1412904447

Book Description

Updated Edition of Bestseller!

How do you deal with high-maintenance parents who never seem happy with the job you are doing?

Emotionally charged, often disgruntled, and occasionally abusive parents--sound familiar? The newly revised, second edition of Elaine McEwan’s bestselling classic will help you manage your most difficult audience, adding several new features and examples that will give you the confidence and skills you need to handle such situations, including:

Every educator will find invaluable strategies for handling angry and unresponsive parents and the critical issues that cause misunderstandings. Following McEwan’s seven steps of effective problem-solving will help with quick solutions while creating a nurturing, healthy school environment. And in today’s schools and a NCLB environment, developing a supportive parent-community relationship is essential to everyone’s success.

Customer Reviews:

1 out of 5 stars Parents should be insulted.......2007-08-03

I find the term "helicopter parent" insulting. As a doctor, and the father of a son with dyslexia and LD, I am sure that I have been called a "helicopter parent" in teachers' lounges and administration offices, but for all the teachers out there, try to imagine what YOU would do if your child was falling more and more behind and the school seemed unable or unwilling to address their needs.

What would you do if your child had dyslexia, couldn't spell, and then was told the solution was to make him or her "spelling exempt" rather than place your child in an Orton-Gillingham based instructional curriculum that would help them. What would you do if you were told year after year "oh, just give it time, they will grow out of it."

If this happened to you, YOU would become the "helicopter parent" or the "crazy parent" which just means that you were a fierce advocate for your child and wouldn't take no for an answer. If I wrote a book about "helicopter patients" I ought to be drummed out of the medical profession.

Oh, and by the way, in my school district in Sackets Harbor, NY, they spend $14,217 per pupil and 45% of 8th graders FAIL to show basic proficiency on the NY State ELA exams. If more parents knew that, there would be "helicopter parents" landing on our superintendents front yard.

David Smith, MD
Sackets Harbor, NY
Founder, READ (Reading Experts and Advocates for Dyslexia)
Member, United New Yorkers for Choice in Education
"A Union of Parents"

4 out of 5 stars Great resource for principals and teachers.......2007-05-28

I enjoyed the book thoroughly. The author has a great sense of humor, which makes the book an easy read. I liked how the author pointed out the frustrations parents have with schools and teachers, as well as pointed out the different types of parents teachers and principals have to communicate with. There are tips on how to deal with angry, troubled, afraid, or just plain crazy parents, as well as tips on how to make your school more open to parents. Communication is the key in this book, and the more communication parents have about what is going on, on campus, the better the culture at the school will be. I also liked the back of the book that has a section for staff development. I think the reason many teachers avoid talking to parents is because they don't always know the right way to approach parents. The reason I could not give the book a perfect "5" is because I would of preferred a chapter specifically on examples of the "situations" and the different things that could be said in these situations. Listing the ways to handle a parent is great, but I also need several examples to help me practice.

3 out of 5 stars Good information, some new some old, ridiculous price for the book.......2007-05-05

The book haas some great advice and insight as do other books I have read on the subject. When I received the book I was a bit shocked as the price tag being $61.95 and the book itself is abut 7 inches in length and five inches wide with 169 pages total. I read this book during my lunch. While the author included some nice tools to measure your school's climate or
overall health, I felt the book was seriously over priced. I can't get past the dollars I paid for this book. I would loan it out but not recommend anyone purchasing the books for such a price.

5 out of 5 stars Wonderful Resource!.......2004-02-22

This book is fantastic! It breaks the issues down as to why parents are angry, troubled, afraid or just plain crazy, what staff does to cause it, and solutions for each. I would highly recommend this book to all school staff that work with parents on a regular basis!

5 out of 5 stars A great resource for new and future teachers.......2002-11-13

This book contains so many helpful ideas that it ought to be required reading in teacher education courses. One of the biggest problems new teachers have is learning how to deal with parents of all stripes. New teachers ought to have a book like this at home or at school for ready reference.

In my own courses for teachers, I cover information that McEwan describes so effectively in her book. She's been there, done that, and new teachers can benefit from her experiences. It is well written, practical, and to the point with many wonderful examples. A worthwhile investment by any account.
Angry Men, Passive Men: Understanding the Roots of Men's Anger and How to Move Beyond It
Average customer rating: 4 out of 5 stars
  • A must read for men and women
  • Where's the Man's Anger??
  • My dear sir, everything I do is masculine! . . .
  • A guide to breaking free of deadly male stereotypes
Angry Men, Passive Men: Understanding the Roots of Men's Anger and How to Move Beyond It
Marvin Allen
Manufacturer: Ballantine Books
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

MotivationalMotivational | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
Developmental PsychologyDevelopmental Psychology | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
GeneralGeneral | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
HumanHuman | Sexuality | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
Marriage & FamilyMarriage & Family | Sociology | Social Sciences | Nonfiction | Subjects | Books
Similar Items:
  1. Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man
  2. Overcoming Passive-Aggression: How to Stop Hidden Anger from Spoiling Your Relationships, Career and Happiness Overcoming Passive-Aggression: How to Stop Hidden Anger from Spoiling Your Relationships, Career and Happiness
  3. Emotional Unavailability : Recognizing It, Understanding It, and Avoiding Its Trap Emotional Unavailability : Recognizing It, Understanding It, and Avoiding Its Trap
  4. The Emotionally Unavailable Man: A Blueprint for Healing The Emotionally Unavailable Man: A Blueprint for Healing
  5. Is It You or Is It Me?: Why Couples Play the Blame Game Is It You or Is It Me?: Why Couples Play the Blame Game

ASIN: 0449908119
Release Date: 1994-05-10

Book Description

"An exciting and inspiring book for any man who wishes to understand himself better--and for any woman who wishes to understand men."
NATHANIEL BRANDEN, Ph.D.
Author of THE PSYCHOLOGY OF ROMANTIC LOVE
Nationally known therapist Marvin Allen explores the root causes of men's emotional problems and offers a comprehensive solution to restore their sense of joy and well-being: men working together in therapy groups. Drawing on the life stories of scores of men as well as the author's own personal experience, this landmark book dramatizes the groundbreaking techniques that men can use not simply to discuss their buried emotions but to release them in the healing company of other men. It provides a powerful catalyst for changing men's lives.

Customer Reviews:

5 out of 5 stars A must read for men and women.......2006-07-20

Marvin Allen's straightforward, easy-to-read style of writing makes this book a must for anyone who wants to understand why men think and act the way they do, and how they differ from women emotionally. Many clients' stories and first-hand accounts help illustrate the points the author makes. The appendix offers additional resources for further study/help. As a quote on the front cover states, this is especially "a perfect book to give to a man who is suspicious of therapy and therapists" as well as a must-read for the women they love.

3 out of 5 stars Where's the Man's Anger??.......2003-11-04

The book was good at describing how a man may have obtained his anger and was insightful. It did lack the father who was hostile in a psychological manner through manipulation, subtle verbal abuse, and unfair treatment in comparison to other siblings. There was a mention of obvious verbal abusive but nothing on subtle abuse. What about the man who wasn't physically abused or told outright that he was a loser?? Also, the chapters on love relationships were geared toward the passive angry man and did not take into account the angry man who uses things like verbal abuse and control against his spouse. Men who are angry are often abusive themselves. The controlling man already has control over his "dominion" and the wife does not get to pick the "furniture", etc.... To an angry verbally abusive man telling him that he should have his way at home when he already has control issues will only make things worse. It is good to address the passive man who never speaks up but there was a lack of attention to the angry man who will only allow his way. Lets not go to extremes in either the Men's movement or Women's movement. Each individual is valuable. The book does not talk about how to create mutuality and work as a partner or team (compromise in decision making). It merely talks about men taking control. This book may be good for the passive man who is angry but may further enhance characteristics of the man who is the "nice" guy to everyone outside his intimate relationship and a controlling verbally abusive guy to his spouse. The book would be much better if it had addressed the issues of a mutual relationship and the extreme of being vebally abusive versus speaking up. Speaking up for oneself does not mean disregarding your partners feelings or desires. A relationship should involve both parties making decisions and compromising when there is a difference of opinion.

4 out of 5 stars My dear sir, everything I do is masculine! . . ........2001-05-21

Angry Men, Passive Men - understanding the roots of men's anger and how to move beyond it. This excellent volume is replete with personal stories, examples from real life men's support groups, and knowledgeable advice from a practicing therapist. It was, apparently, first published as "In the Company of Men."

Mr. Allen presents material here that may not at first seem new to anyone reading in men's studies these days. But the added value is in the second half of the book where, after convincing us that there are serious reasons to consider why men suppress their feelings, he gives us some ideas of how to break through the barriers. He explains how we will be able to open up to a full range of feelings if we simply stop accepting "the rules written on The Man Box" we're in.

Just as the women's movement has begun to dismantle the systemic reasons for being put in "the Woman Box," men are encouraged to review how and why we are so well indoctrinated by society to fill the stereotype of "man." We have to start at home and in the society at large to correct limiting views while saving the good aspects of being male. "What men need to do," Allen tells us, "is draw some distinctions between beliefs and behaviors they want to keep and ones they want to discard. For example, they may see that being able to hide their feelings in a poker game or in the middle of a business deal works to their advantage; there are times when it's important not to show your hand. But hiding their feelings from their wives and their friends keeps them isolated and alone."

I suppose the best recommendation, or review, of this book I can give you is to mention that I have ordered a dozen copies (from Amazon.com of course!) to give to friends and to use in my own men's group. I recommend this excellent work for any man or woman interested in learning more about the male psychology.

4 out of 5 stars A guide to breaking free of deadly male stereotypes.......1999-06-22

Marv Allen provides an insightful journey through male psychology. I found the book very helpful.
Angry Young Men: How Parents, Teachers, and Counselors Can Help "Bad Boys" Become Good Men
Average customer rating: 5 out of 5 stars
  • A Real Page Turner
  • We've needed this book for a long, long time.
  • A must read for any one who works with young men
  • I needed this book
  • First Hand Experience
Angry Young Men: How Parents, Teachers, and Counselors Can Help "Bad Boys" Become Good Men
Aaron, Ph.D. Kipnis
Manufacturer: Jossey-Bass
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

CriminologyCriminology | Crime & Criminals | Nonfiction | Subjects | Books
Adolescent PsychologyAdolescent Psychology | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
DevelopmentDevelopment | Child Psychology | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
PsychologyPsychology | Child Psychology | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
GeneralGeneral | Counseling | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
GeneralGeneral | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
GeneralGeneral | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
Similar Items:
  1. Money and the Meaning of Life Money and the Meaning of Life
  2. The Evaluation and Treatment of Marital Conflict: A Four-Stage Approach The Evaluation and Treatment of Marital Conflict: A Four-Stage Approach
  3. Power in the Helping Professions Power in the Helping Professions
  4. Learning from the Patient Learning from the Patient
  5. Handbook Of Clinical Psychopharmacology For Therapists, Fourth Edition Handbook Of Clinical Psychopharmacology For Therapists, Fourth Edition

ASIN: 0787960438

Book Description

Writing from personal and professional experience, Aaron Kipnis shares both the riveting story of his own troubled youth-and how he turned himself around-and the successful approaches he has used to help "bad boys" become good men. Angry Young Men offers specific, practical advice for parents, teachers, counselors, community leaders, and justice professionals-- everyone who wants to help at-risk boys become strong, productive, caring, and compassionate men.

"Angry Young Men is an extremely important book that is especially timely now during our current epidemic of violence by and against boys and young men . . . Aaron Kipnis has seen deeply, not only into the souls of troubled boys and adolescents, but also into those aspects of the spirit of our culture and our epoch that have turned an unprecedentedly large portion of our boys and young men into the perpetrators and victims of violence."--From the Foreword by James Gilligan, M.D., Department of Psychiatry, Harvard Medical School

Customer Reviews:

5 out of 5 stars A Real Page Turner.......2006-01-15

I first checked this book out at the library somewhat reluctantly. It looked like a text book, in other words, necessary information but rather dull and difficult to read through. I couldn't have been more wrong! It was absolutely excellent information from someone who grew up as one of the boys from "the wrong side of the tracks." I am aspiring to be a Juvenile Probation Officer and this book was just so informative. It is a must read for anyone working with or raising young men.

5 out of 5 stars We've needed this book for a long, long time........2001-09-02

This book is a moving interweaving of autobiographical anecdotes, patiently accumulated facts (did you know that more is spent in the US on prisons than on college educations? See malepsych.com for more such data), and concrete suggestions for understanding our national epidemic of angry youth and doing something constructive about it.

Don't let the impotence of current national solutions and quick-fixes ("just say no"; "bring your child to work day"; etc. ad nauseum) convince you that the problem of angry young men is insoluble. It's not. In fact, the suggestions offered by the author throughout the book are relevant, doable, sensible, and verifiable. Grouping the outside forces that make for violence into six Pathways to Prison, Dr. Kipnis goes on to explain what they look and feel like from inside the young rager--and it is that part we sorely lack in our sorry stabs at "explaining" youth violence from the outside, its perpetrators objects to be warehoused for a profit as slave labor.

Most of the violent males I've counseled have already done jail or prison time--and yet even with them, listening carefully, confronting them firmly and respectfully with the consequences of their behavior, educating them about basics like managing addictions and painful emotions, and showing them that strong males can be gentle, patient, and nonviolently assertive gave our counseling center (Cornerstone) close to a 90% success rate (meaning: 90% men who completed the full program never reviolated their probation). I wish I'd had this book available then, for them and for me. So much more can be done with young men before they ever get to this point!

Dr. Kipnis is President of the Fatherhood Coalition, a nonprofit that among other things encourages fathers to be an active, available part of their childrens' lives. I can tell you that of the hundreds of violent men I've worked with, not one--not one!--had had an adequate, let alone loving, relationship with his father. Given our country of unavailable dads (and moms, of course), do you begin to see why more young men are imprisoned in the US than were locked up in pro-aparteid Africa?

This and other dynamics behind the immense problem of young male violence are explained in this book with clarity, erudition, and personal experiences convincing far beyond the usual theoretical models.

The Talmud talks about the "Master of Return," the man who took the wrong way and then found the right way; in the eyes of God such a man stands higher than even the angels in heaven. One such man has penned this book, as you'll see for yourself when you read it. If you spend any time at all around young males, or if you simply want to understand what's going on in their world, then this resource is indispensable.

5 out of 5 stars A must read for any one who works with young men.......2000-10-01

This book is excellent! I work in a correctional facility and it has really helped me to understand the young men that I work with. I plan on reading it with them and having discussions on the information presented. Many of these young men come from the "5-H club" mentioned in the book. They need people who understand where they have come from and what they have gone through. I'm not saying they shouldn't be punished for their crimes, but I feel we need to find alternative solutions for these young men, rather than putting them in an adult prison where they only learn new and more dangerous crimes from the hardened criminals.

5 out of 5 stars I needed this book.......2000-03-20

I teach remedial English and reading at a middle school with a high poverty rate, a 40% latino population, and a big gang problem. All of my students are Latino, most are boys, and most are constantly in trouble at school, if not with the law. This book doesn't have all the answers, but it went a long way towards helping me understand where my troubled boys are coming from and why they act the way they do.

5 out of 5 stars First Hand Experience.......2000-01-24

With all the sensational press about the dangerous young men in our schools and neighborhoods, it is refreshing to read Kipnis's first hand account of what contributes to the despair and hostility in troubled adolescent boys. His book has specific suggestions for addressing the problems he identifies in clear and compelling language. This book, and "Raising Cain" by Dan Kindlon amd Michael Thompson have been the best insights into the life of boys that I have read this past year.

Books:

  1. Windows Vista Secrets
  2. Wise Woman Herbal for the Childbearing Year (Wise Woman Herbal Series, Book 1) (Wise Woman Herbal Series : No. 1)
  3. Yellow Eyes (Posleen War Series #8)
  4. You Want Me to do What? An Illustrated Book on the Joys of Fellatio: Explicit Techniques
  5. Your Pregnancy Week by Week, Fifth Edition
  6. 101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married: Simple Lessons to Make Love Last
  7. 90 Minutes in Heaven: A True Story of Death & Life
  8. A General Theory of Love
  9. A Short History of Myth (Myths, The)
  10. Adventures of a Currency Trader: A Fable about Trading, Courage, and Doing the Right Thing (Wiley Trading)

Books Index

Books Home

Recommended Books

  1. Dragonwings: Golden Mountain Chronicles: 1903
  2. The Frugal Gourmet Cooks Three Ancient Cuisines: China, Greece, and Rome
  3. Mistler's Exit
  4. Retracing the Past: Readings in the History of the American People, Volume II
  5. Schmucks!: Our Favorite Fakes, Frauds, Lowlifes, Liars, the Armed and Dangerous, and Good Guys Gone
  6. Spacetime and Geometry: An Introduction to General Relativity
  7. The Compleat Cockroach: A Comprehensive Guide to the Most Despised
  8. Nine Lives: From Stripper to Schoolteacher : My Year-Long Odyssey in the Workplace
  9. Just Get Out of the Way: How Government Can Help Business in Poor Countries
  10. Mutual Fund Fact Book 1999: A Guide to the Trends and Statistics Observed and Recorded in the Mut