Afterwords: Real Sex from Gay Men's Diaries

Book Description

What if you stumbled across someone's diary and there was no one around? Would you read it? Taking this question beyond the hypothetical and neatly eliminating any moral quandaries we open the pages and invite you in. Unabashedly explicit and surging with the immediacy of the moment, these stories of one night stands, rebound romances, and infidelity are often startlingly beautiful and filled with insight.

Kevin Bentley is the author of Sailor: Vintage Photos of an American Icon. He is currently Editor-In-Chief at Council Oak Books in San Francisco.

Customer Reviews:

A Mixed Bag.......2005-08-09

I have mixed feelings about this book. Some of the "memories" were so personal and introspective that they almost were incomprehensible to this reader. Others were particularly HOT and provided an erotic view of the author's life. But perhaps the most rewarding "entry" in this book came from Felice Picano in his FIRE ISLAND 1975. His diary notations documenting that unique place at that unprecedented time brought back fond memories of a world lost to us forever. The Island in the `70's was a magical place, where all of the visual fantasies, and in some cases, actual fantasies came true. It was Kismet and Camelot rolled up into one tidy and exceedingly exciting venue. The place was Idyllic. The hidden threat to our innocence of that time was unknown to us, thus, our hedonistic experiences held for us only lustful joy, rather than the sinister inconceivable results that awaited so many who simply were living a newly defined life. For this entry alone, I recommend this book.

Some gay men's attempt to record and understand couplings.......2005-06-21

A book with 32 chapters by 29 authors would be difficult to review even if there was not considerable variance in quality. That the chapters are comprised of entries in diaries/journals about sex and that the entries vary considerably in length, graphic detail, era, and geography increases the difficulty of making generalizations.

The book is definitely not for anyone (straight or gay) who is squeamish about graphic details of male-male sex or of erotic desperation. Not that all the selections include either of these. The lengthiest chapter involves S&M (mostly dominance/submission, but with some infliction of pain) and others describe bodies and pleasures in detail. Some other writers were desperately seeking a spouse. Perhaps that is the major divide, not just among the authors but among gay men more generally: those who want to marry, settle down, and raise kids and those (some of them in open relationships) who enjoy meeting through meating and are fascinated by novelty rather than the comforts of familiarity. Some of the authors deplore anonymous sex, some revel in it.

There is poignancy. There is wit. And even some wisdom (after David Leddick described disappointment in his natal family, a man told him: "They are not your family, they are only your relatives"). There are reports of encounters that make me embarrassed for the author and/or his sexual partner. Most of the entries/selections do not seem meant to arouse. The exception (the longest chapter in the book) is titled "Something Sensational to Read on the Train" but is more analytic than incantory about what excited David May between 1978 and 1984.

The choice of lines from within the chapters as titles deserve special praise, and the author bios are unusually entertaining. I skipped around and find it hard to imagine reading straight through (I eventually read all of the chapters, but over the course of more than a year.)

The chapters that I thought were a waste of the time I spent reading them were those by Jack Bissell, Joseph Manera, Felice Picano (an essay that doesn't even fit the parameters of being a diary entry about personal sexual experience), and Dan Perdios. Not all the other were great, but had somethings of interest and/or were entertaining.

In sex ad acronyms (another of the sources for my stalled book on desire) the authors are mostly GWM with a few GBM; no GLM or GAM. Baby-boomers and generation X. A few entries are by Americans in Europe, most are set in the USA. To take three themes from the title of a South Asian memoir, I'd say that despite the subtitle's emphasis on sex, AFTERWORDS is more about longings and not (feeling one) belongs than about sex.

Could This Really Be True?.......2003-04-24

How many of you out there have secretly wanted to read someone else's diary at one time or another? You know it's wrong, but curiosity gets the better of you. This book capitalizes on that theme of curiosity, and the thrill one gets when learning something secret about someone else's private affairs. These 20 stories may or may not be actual diary entries, but that's really not important. It's a thrill just the same. The stories are written in actual journal entries, and are very realistic.

There are many notable contributors like David Leddick, Felice Picano, Jim Buck, and others. A broad sampling of many sexual interests and lifestyles of gay men are presented for our enjoyment. These are explicit stories covering encounters in bath houses, one-night stands, three-ways, S&M and erotic scenarios that are vividly hot. This is an erotic collection of stories to get lost in on those off nights. They may be real diaries entries or just fantasies but who cares, they are exciting to read no matter what.

Joe Hanssen

Save your dimes, nickels, and quarters.......2003-03-24

Eeuw! Some of the personal voices speaking in here are interesting, but only for a while because so many of them are simplistic, whiney, and just not very engaging. You just can't put first drafts between 2 covers and pass it off as "reality (TV)" survivor experiences.

More than erotica, a hint of romance and social politics.......2003-02-01

Presumably true accounts of gay encounters, "Afterwords ..." offers more than same-sex erotica and is a step or two above carnalism by describing encounters in which love (and not just lust) is a factor. Still other entries smack of socio-politicism and make subtle judgments on the "political correctness" of being a man wanting to make love with another man. Regardless of each story's base - lust, romanticism, politicism - "Afterwords ..." is nonetheless steamy and erotic ...Amazingly, while the entries serve to get the pulse rate going faster, they also impress a sense of beauty of love and make sublimial references to issues that engulf gay sexual issues. The read is well worth it, and "Afterwords ..." makes us believe we're actually reading someone's private diary.

Some Corner of a Foreign Field: Poetry of the Great War

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Some Corner of a Foreign Field: Poetry of the Great War

Manufacturer: Little Brown & Co (T)
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

General | Poetry | Literature & Fiction | Subjects | Books
ASIN: 0316086940

Alone Together: Making an Asperger Marriage Work

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A Modern "Beauty and the Beast" for Asperger Marriages

Alone Together: Making an Asperger Marriage Work
Katrin Bentley
Manufacturer: Jessica Kingsley Publishers
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 1843105373

Customer Reviews:

A Modern "Beauty and the Beast" for Asperger Marriages.......2007-08-06

Katrin Bentley got to the end of her rope with her husband. She looked into the dark hole that would be the end of her marriage. The expression of her pain is authentic and palpable. Once she knew her husband Gavin had Asperger's, she found the understanding and the perseverance to make it work. At times it seems she has compromised too much, but the family is saved and the needs of all get served in the less than ideal, real life struggle of their relationship. Through their heartbreak and efforts to refind each other, there is growth and happiness. This is a modern "Beauty and the Beast" as Katrin writes for the Asperger community and an important contribution to couples who have one partner with Asperger's.

--Robert A. Naseef, Ph.D., author of Special Children, Challenged Parents and co-editor Voices from the Spectrum.

Voices from the Spectrum: Parents, Grandparents, Siblings, People With Autism, And Professionals Share Their Wisdom

Wild Animals I Have Known: Polk Street Diaries and After

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Those good ol' days
Every year the same honest story
A dramatic, vividly portrayed, and legendary gay milieu
Being young and gay in San Francisco during the late-1970s
Puts the sex back into homosexuality.

Wild Animals I Have Known: Polk Street Diaries and After
Kevin Bentley
Manufacturer: Green Candy Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 1931160082

Book Description

Kevin Bentley faithfully kept a frank, literate diary of his experiences as a young gay man living in San Francisco in the 1970s. In passages that are arousing, thoughtful, and funny, he details a scene of unrivaled sexual hedonism. First and foremost an erotic record, Wild Animals I Have Known is also the diary of a bookish, terrified, exuberantly promiscuous, and laughably romantic gay man’s exploits during the heyday of San Francisco’s gay bohemia. “[Bentley’s] writing is direct, intelligent, savagely funny, and very, very erotic.” — Kevin Dax, author of D.O.C. Lust Letters

Customer Reviews:

Those good ol' days.......2005-07-13

I can't believe that Kevin Bentley is still alive after everything, or should I say--everyone he's had!!! This book was very special for me because I grew up in that area also and so know all the places he frequented. He was a busy guy. The book is very descriptive but somehow doesn't really seem pornographic. He must feel like a lone survivor in a nuclear wasteland having done everything he did and stills lives to tell about it. He writes very well and I liked this book and recommend it to all who want to relive those good ol' days when condoms were not used and there was nothing to be concerned about except where the next trick was coming from.

Every year the same honest story.......2002-08-03

The first part of the book gives an idea about gaylife in San Francisco at the glory days. No fear of AIDS, just 'concerning' being a top or a bottom and while kissing a man flirting with the bartender.
Then death comes to town. Kevin, the author, just describes he is missing his friends and in the meanwhile is still hungry for sex.

This book has no real message. It is a dating-report of twenty years full of sex. Like a pornmovie, that makes it quite boring after a few pages. On the other hand, it is very honestly and maybe that's the reason that you will read it to the end.

A dramatic, vividly portrayed, and legendary gay milieu.......2002-07-06

Kevin Bentley's remarkable memoir, Wild Animals I Have Known: Polk Street Diaries And After, is set in San Francisco during the late 1970s and is based on Bentley's personal diary. In 1997 he was 21 years old, bookish, exuberantly promiscuous, laughably romantic, terrified new arrival. A young gay man arrived in the "gay mecca" that was San Francisco, a place where he would stay until his fortieth year. Here detailed are the gay bars, baths, a quirky old financial district book store, a funky apartment building on Nob Hill, street fairs, and side trips to Monterey, Santa Fe, and even West Texas. But it is the stories of love, sex, self-doubt, friendship, and unapologetic partying that comprised the basic elements of the gay lifestyle that truly grab the reader's total attention. Wild Animals I Have Known is an autobiographical "picture window back through time" offering a dramatic, vividly portrayed, and legendary gay milieu.

Being young and gay in San Francisco during the late-1970s.......2002-06-29

The entries that Kevin Bentley has chosen to publish from his "Polk Street Diaries" of that era are primarily about sexual adventures, often comic misadventures. Anyone who does not want to read about men having sexual encounters with men should steer away from this book. Like Renaud Camus's TRICKS from the same pre-AIDS era, or Ricardo Ramos's FLIPPING about that time in San Francisco, Bentley was finding out who the men he met were through sex: what they did, how they did it, and the places they lived. It was often the books (or the total lack of books), the recorded music (LPs then),, and the artifacts in a trick's room or apartment that made incompatibility obvious.

"Getting laid" was a focus then and there for gay men (and for most young men most of the time in other eras and locales). However, it was necessary to make a living to have a place to live and to pay bar cover charges (and, perchance, to eat, bhough that was a low priority at the time). The gay novels of Manhattan/Provincetown/Fire Island sex, drugs, and disco elide this, leaving readers to guess how the characters acquired money. Something I particularly appreciate in Bentley's book is his chronicling the difficulty of making a living. It also chronicles what the Swedish investigator Benny Henriksson dubbed "the risk factor of love" (reducing "promiscuity" and having unprotected sex with an HIV-infected partner).

Like the fictional inhabitants of 28 Barbary Lane, Bentley paid no attention to politics (gay, HIV-prevention, or any other kind). Less sexually adventurous than Bentley, and writing in a "family newspaper," Armistead Maupin in his well-known "tales" only hint at what life was like for gay men during "the golden age of promiscuity." Written at the time (though culled recently), these diary entries tells it like it was--without apologies, without shame, and without the chauvinism of "lgtb pride."

Puts the sex back into homosexuality........2002-05-07

Too much gay writing these days tries to ignore the very thing that makes us gay - men having sex with men. Kevin Bentley's frank diary entries puts gay sex where it belongs, right in the center of his narrative.

Memoirs of gay life in San Francisco's golden age - between Stonewall and AIDS - are precious and few, in part because so many of the men who lived during that period are dead. "Wild Animals I Have Known", in my humble opinion, is the best memoir of 1970's San Francisco gay life that I have read so far. Though Bentley is as apolitical as most gays then or now - he ignored Harvey Milk and spent the White Night Riots getting the clap from a trick on a rooftop - by living an openly gay life he acted out the ideals of gay liberation. Bravo, Kevin!

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From a Painfully Depressed Mind Comes a Warm & Honest Book!

Too well written?

Okay, but not great.

good

In the Jaws of the Black Dogs: A Memoir of Depression
John Bentley Mays
Manufacturer: HarperCollins Publishers
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

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ASIN: 0060192887

Book Description

In this courageous memoir, John Bentley Mays gives us a riveting account of what it is to live in the shadow of debilitating depression.

Weaving intimate recollections with excerpts from the diaries he kept for thirty years, Mays illuminates the struggle that leads to breakdown and the uneasy truce achieved through psychotherapy. Along the way, he offers provocative commentary on the allure of cure, the cultural scripts of normality, and the distorting mirror of clinical language.

A literary tour de force that began with an award winning essay, In the Jaws of the Black Dogs is not an objective analysis composed from the safety of hindsight. It is a writer's attempt to evoke the silent and distorting malignancy--as well as the moments of reprieve--of the only life he has ever known. Above all, he offers readers hope: Although the black dogs cannot be entirely avoided, humor and the love and understanding of family and friends can keep the dogs at bay.

From In The Jaws of the Black Dogs

"This book is a life with the black dogs of depression. I have written it in a clearing bounded by thickets roamed by the killing dogs, sometimes wondering, in the writing, whether I would complete it before they returned on silent paws to snatch the text and me away. For the depressed can never be sure we can finish anything we begin, or indeed certain of anything, except the black dogs' eventual return, and their terrible circling of the clearing's edge.

"There are a great many books about depression. This is not one of them. It is pain written, not observed; a depressive writer's writing, a testament transcribed from wounded flesh to paper in the clearing, before the black dogs' inevitable return."

Customer Reviews:

From a Painfully Depressed Mind Comes a Warm & Honest Book!.......2005-10-18

I related to so many areas of John Bentley's life. As I read this book I was touched and inspired, and reminded that I am not alone in my perpetual existential crisis. A more refreshing look at depression has not come along in many years. A truly beautiful book that could save lives!

Too well written?.......2004-12-06

It's obvious from reading the first few pages that Mays is an extraordinary writing talent. This is not just another story from someone who suffers depression. It is so eloquently written that I had problems understanding what some of the words meant. His story is told in such vivid detail, with amazing use of the English language. A wonderful book, and very helpful to readers struggling with their own black dogs.

Okay, but not great........2002-01-24

I wasn't impressed with this book. There were definitely a few comments that really struck home, but they were few and far between.

good.......1999-08-31

Average Reader Review: Number of Reviews: 1

Book Description

Everyone has suffered the tortures of an unfaithful, unavailable, controlling, or demanding date, boyfriend, or lover. They may be hell to live through, but they make riveting postmortems, collected here as twenty gay writers recount adventures from the deep end of the dating pool.

Customer Reviews:

A Short Story Collection -- Not All Humerous.......2007-07-10

Admittedly, the cover and type font of the paperback edition are misleading. While some of the short stories in this collection are "light" this is not a humor collection.

Rather it is a collection of serious short stories of gay relationships (or tricks) that have turned out wrong.

Given that we have that misconception out of the way (and I like both humerous and serious stories), I found the quality of the stories very mixed.

Among thos I liked were "The Golden Tooth" by Barry Adams which was a nice first love with a crazy person story, "Double Booking" by Steve Nugent, which discusses juggling 2 guys at once, "My Boyfriend Brought Home A Rock And Roll Band" by Jerry Rosco and "My Primitive Man" by Donald Hatch.

There were more misses though, such as "The Smell Of Asparagus Pee" by Shaun Levin which I just didn't get at all and "Geisha In The Pigpen" by Don Shewey which didn't even seem to fit the anthology.

If you don't mind skimming an anthology for the better stories, and you grab this used its an OK page turner, but again don't be decieved by the humerous cover and type font.

More Likes Stories from the Gates of Hell.......2006-03-27

This should have been a funny, slick, silly, and campy collection of gay satire. It is none of that. It is more akin to STORIES FROM WHINERS. The collection DOES NOT ENTERTAIN...it ANNOYS. If you enjoy listening to or reading about failed "relationships" and encounters that have NO SENSE OF HUMOR but rather a SENSE OF SELF-PITY OR LOATHING, read this.

Ex-Boyfriend Origami.......2003-12-12

Kevin Bentley sure did have something devious in mind when he decided to compile this anthology... "Boyfriends from Hell" documents 19 gay writers' stories of twisted loved affairs with men of very little virtue and decency.

Every reader should be warned that the cover of this book can be misleading. Humor was not the sole intedned purpose. Though all of the stories are incredibly well written, very few have laugh-out-loud quality. The tones tend to be sarcastic and bitter, yet poignant, as writers talk about the hardships of gay relationships in general and then top it off with their experience with a failed romance with a mentally-disturbed (and sometimes dangerous) lover. Stephen Greco's story, Miss Bankhead at Home, is one of the better works in the collection, as he recounts an ex resurfacing in his life. Peter is a failed actor/model, who's looks have faded from aging and drug use. The romance is unsteady to begin with, but Greco talks about being drawn back in with the strange man, until one night he has a knife pulled on him.

Under the guise of humor, some of the writers really give us disturbing stories and we cannot help but sympathize with them and their experiences. In one story, a young man is tries to capture the affections of a sexually-confused but charismatic married man, only to eventually realize that he is being used. Other stories rely on a situational confrontation, such as the surprisingly hysterical story, "In the Garden of the North American Cocktease". The story starts out very humorous and one cannot help but chuckle out loud to the narrator's witty observations but in the end, we realize that the date with a "dream guy" could have eventually led him into a very violent confrontation. Erotica writer, Simon Sheppard, lends his talents as well in "Going Down, Going Down Down", an amusing tale of an online hook-up gone wrong, completed with talk of diaper fetishes and crack pipes.

It is unfortunate the only weak story would come from the editor, Kevin Bentley. Kevin knows how to pick his writers well, but sometimes I think he's too scatterbrained to know what to do with so much excellent material. This really shows in his own story, "Widow Hopper". Bentley tries to do it all - combining real drama, sarcasm and a sex scene that would have been appropriate if the subject matter weren't so bleak. Author's should have more faith in their intended subject matters. Some of the stories featured are very real and very powerful, so we don't need to dillude them with funny cartoon covers and odd humor attempts.

Book Description

The Avengers inhabited an extraordinary landscape of aristocrats, mad scientists, and spies, having only a tenuous connection with the realities of 1960s England. Filmed in a variety of locations in southeast England, many of the settings are easily accessible and remain virtually unchanged after 40 years. This guide to the locations for The Avengers, and numerous other classic television shows from the 1960s and 1970s, is an absorbing gazetteer of strangely familiar follies, pubs, hotels, and country lanes. "Then and now" photos accompany many of the entries in this compelling alternative history of cult television.

Bentley Specials and Special Bentleys (A Foulis motoring book)

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Bentley Specials and Special Bentleys (A Foulis motoring book)
Ray Roberts
Manufacturer: Haynes Pubns
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

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Bentley, 1919-1931 (An Autocar special)

Manufacturer: IPC Transport Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 0617002894

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