Book Description
There’s no doubt about it—breakups suck. But in the first few hours or days or weeks that follow, there’s one important truth you need to recognize: Some things can’t and shouldn’t be fixed, especially that loser who dumped you or forced you to dump him. It’s called a breakup because it’s broken, and starting right here, right now, it’s time to dry your tears, put down that pint of ice cream, log out of his e-mail, and open this book to Chapter One–and start turning your breakup into a breakover.
From Greg Behrendt, the co-author of the smash two-million copy bestseller He’s Just Not That Into You, comes It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken--the ultimate survival guide to getting over Mr. Wrong and reclaiming your inner Superfox. From how to put yourself through “he-tox,” to how to throw yourself a kick-ass pity party, Greg and his wife, Amiira, share their hilarious and helpful roadmap for getting past the heartache and back into the game. You will learn:
• Why you shouldn’t call him—and what he’s thinking when you do
• How to keep your friends and not lose your job
• How to avoid breakup pitfalls: IMing, stalking, having sex with your ex
• Reframing reality—seeing the relationship for what it was
• How to transform yourself into a hot, happening Superfox and get a jump on the better, brighter future that awaits
Complete with an essential workbook to help you put the crazy down on paper and not take it out into the world, It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken is a must-have manual for finding your way back to an even more rocking you.
Customer Reviews:
Destined to be one of your "breakup buddies".......2007-10-04
Reading this book after a breakup is a little like Bridget Jones taking relationship advice from the Smug Marrieds after her breakup with Daniel. But still, I didn't think the authors' writing was pedantic in any way.
The basic message of the book was, "get over him already." Filled with Q and As and basic exercises to get things out of your system, the book also offers strategies for coping effectively with getting over your breakup. Most importantly: do not call. Having recently gone through a breakup myself, I'd add another commandment to the list: don't cry over every little thing that reminds you of your ex (case in point: my ex's last name was Smith, and for three months after the relationship ended, every time I ran into someone with that last name, I burst into tears).
The book is funny and witty, and highly enjoyable, even if the authors aren't the most highly qualified to write about the subject (almost everybody could write a book about how someone or multiple people broke their heart). Many of the things the author says are completely true and blatantly obvious, but the person getting over the breakup doesn't always realize it. The book also made me realize that I'm not as heartbroken as I thought I was.
Great guide for those ready to move on after a breakup.......2007-09-28
I am a psychologist working at a college counseling center, and I have recommended this book to several of my clients who have experienced a relationship breakup. However, because the tone of this book is very lighthearted, almost irreverent, I've been selective in my recommendations. The authors--a husband and wife team who talk freely about their own past breakups--infuse plenty of humor into their work. There can be a thin line between being funny and empowering versus funny and belittling, and I do believe the authors fall well on the side of the former, but still, I'd recommend this book mainly for those who are READY to move on after a breakup but just are not sure how to do so.
The book has two main parts: "The Breakup," which centers around coming to terms with the reality that the relationship is truly over, and "The Breakover," which focuses on coping with this new reality. The chapters contain a wealth of helpful information, from personal stories by the authors to simple exercises and questionnaires to occasional recipes (I plan to try the "Crack Brownies" soon!). The second part of the book focuses on "Breakup Commandments" and contains a special chapter for men called "Dude, Get Off Her Long." On the whole, however, this book is mainly geared towards empowering women who have been dumped, with the authors frequently using endearments designed to give a much-needed self-esteem boost (including calling the reader "Superfox," "Pretty Lady," and "Hot Stuff").
Overall, the main point of this book is that the breakups are like a serious illness which is undeniably painful yet completely curable. With empathy, wisdom, and wit, the authors provide plenty of hope that you can pass through the destruction and devastation left by your broken relationship and embrace the wonderful new life waiting for you.
Funny but sad for brokenup couples.......2007-09-20
I'm not picky reading books. sometimes i read business books, and sometimes i read romance or salty novels.
I used to read serious psychological books and cooking recipe books..and so on.
I love books because through reading books i could know what i never got an experience and never done before.
The reason i say that i'm not picky reading books something is that i've read kind of simple, humorous and might be low quality but useful book for our life.
The book is just 'It's called a BREAKUP Because it's BROKEN'
Actually the author wrote this book as a kind of solution for just broken couple especially for girls. how to get over it and how to forget my ex. and what should we do after breaking up the relationship. As you know we spend so hard time after breaking up. The author as a counselor is trying to get people who just broke up encourage. But the side effect of this book is just that the breaking up relationship looks like easy to handle and solve, even subtle and simple one. Anytime we could find another partner as a girlfriend and boyfriend. just forget your ex even if you are so difficult to being alone and trying to find new one. Because of author's these statements make this book so funny and humorous.
Isn't it too much sad ? Through talking other people's sadness we could enjoy reading.
But i should recommend this book for just breaking up couples. It could help them.
Your replacement best friend.......2007-09-15
Greg and Amiira do a great job of providing sound advice and personal experience while topping it all off with great humor. Sure, not everyone is going to find the advice in this book overly astounding. For example, I think most girls know that it is probably not a good idea to keep calling your ex or secretly stalking his old hangouts. However, Greg and Amiira give the little extra nudge you need in order to see the light at the end of the tunnel and not pick up the phone instead of just knowing that you shouldn't. Plus the little extra bonus in this book is reading about all the crazy things people have done after a break-up. Reading their craziness pushes you to be even more sane and on your way to becoming a SuperFox!!
The only downside to this book for me was that I was the one that broke up with my boyfriend. Ninety percent of the time the book takes the perspective of the person dumped. It still was helpful, but just because you ended a relationship doesn't mean it hurts any less. I would have liked to see both perspectives more.
Not very helpful.......2007-09-15
After mutually agreeing to break up after 4 1/2 years I was still very sad and looking for something to help. This book wasn't it.
Whilst I like the fact that they try to get you to think positively about yourself, the "superfox" term is outdated annoying and distracting.
It covers questions or feelings you may have, but the "you thought your break up was bad" sections aren't very positive. I found myself not wanting to read them because I want encouragement, not stories of other peoples nightmares that could happen to anyone.
I have found other books helpful and I will keep them or give them to friends in need, this book will be donated to my local library. Hopefully someone else (maybe younger than mid-thirties) will find it helpful or insightful. I did not.
Customer Reviews:
Helpful Teen Book.......2007-03-10
I really liked this book because it helped me understand relationships with boys and answered a lot of questions that I had.
Great Series of Books.......2007-01-19
Good book bought it for my daughter she really enjoyed reading it. A+++++++++
It is really good.......2006-11-06
I have loads of american girl books at home this book was really really good i recomend this book for under 12s
Loving this series............2006-08-30
I wasn't going to get this title for my nine year old. I thought she was too young. But she REALLY wanted it, telling me, "Mom, I've had tons of crushes already!" I bought it and read it first. While I still think she's a little young for some of the information (especially the "going together" section toward the end), a lot of it was very age appropriate. Rather than just give it to her, we are reading it together. (Thankfully I have a very open and trusting daughter who doesn't get embarrassed by "growing up" issues.) I explained to her that reading about these things does not give her permission to do them.
I strongly disagree with the review on July 13, 2006. I feel that this is an empowering book for girls. It (like most of the books in this series) aids in building self esteem. I found it full of great advice, reinforcing my values and beliefs.
And, for this age group, I appreciate that it doesn't go into sexual relationships. There is a time and place for those books. I am relieved to be able to give her a book about the feelings and situations with boys that come BEFORE intimate relationships.
Excuse Me.......2006-07-28
Ummm to the lady who said not to buy this I have a question for you; why do u care how its worded? This is a book for girls to be comfortable with, not something from a psychology book! consider that! and your knitpicking! U must have no life to complain about wording. Anyway the book is awesome! It helped my daughter become comfortable enough to talk to me about her crushes! She is totally ready!~
Amazon.com
13-digit ISBN is 9780743272094 Targeted primarily at single women looking for a clear formula that leads in the direction of marriage, Love Smart also aims to refresh current marriages that feel a bit lacking. Whether readers find it helpful will depend partially on their sense of humor—Dr. Phil titles one chapter "Bag 'em, Tag 'em and Take 'em Home", a pretty fair example of the rest of the jokes and the general attitude of the book's advice. Marriage is what it's about, and the dating game has specific rules that, once learned, any "player" can use to succeed. While not quite as strict as the infamous The Rules, this is a manual that treats marriage as a prize, winnable only by those who regard old-fashioned rules as the only possible set.
An early exercise suggests that women make detailed lists of the qualities they're looking for in a mate; five broad categories cover everything from social skills to physical appearance. Once a clear picture is formed of the ideal partner, it all boils down to marketing. Dr. Phil discusses conversation skills such as developing "icebreaker" questions and even digs up some of the old-school techniques that suggest checking headlines just to offer up-to-date topics, and making sure to ask questions about your date, rather than revealing much about yourself. Suggestions for internet dating are included in a separate chapter, and later chapters go into specific questions that cover personal background and relationship history in great detail.
The combination of new school humor with old-fashioned advice will appeal to women who are looking for both a plan for partnership and goofy jokes to lighten the pressure. Dr. Phil offers both in spades. Jill Lightner
Book Description
If you are sleeping single in a double bed or walking down the street thinking, How do I meet that guy?; if you're on your twentieth date and he's no more committed than when you first exchanged cell phone numbers; if everyone you know is getting married for the second time and you can't even get a first date; if you love the one you're with but the relationship needs some spark...then this book is for you.
In Love Smart: Find the One You Want -- Fix the One You Got, Dr. Phil tells people who are dissatisfied with their love lives to stop making excuses -- All the good ones are taken; I'm too fat/skinny/boring/unpredictable for anyone to love me; I should stick with the relationship I have, I'm not going to do any better -- and start taking action! Dr. Phil knows that you deserve a committed relationship, and it is within your control to have the one you want. First, though, you need to determine what you want in a partner, plot your course and get out there and create velocity in your pursuit of a loving connection. The dating world is a vastly new place: meeting people at bars or through friends used to be the only option, but that's not true anymore. Love Smart: Find the One You Want -- Fix the One You Got explores new possibilities, new places to meet people -- including the Internet -- and new activities to get involved in where you'll find interesting people. Or if you are simply looking to rekindle the relationship you are already in, Dr. Phil will tell you how to turn up the flame.
Love Smart: Find the One You Want -- Fix the One You Got will show you how to stop stumbling through your love life. You will learn to:
- Present the real you in the most flattering light. Are you your own best kept secret? Do you fail to show the world how truly fabulous and interesting you are? As Dr. Phil says, you can't fake fabulous. Don't act passive if three months into the relationship you're going to spring your true, opinionated personality on him; don't act wild if you really just want to sip tea with your mate in front of your favorite nighttime drama. Define who you are and then ride that horse!
- Peek behind the male curtain. Knowledge is power, and Dr. Phil tells you things about men that they don't necessarily want you to know -- their deepest needs and fears (yes, they have those, too, though they deny it), and how to decode their words and actions.
- Master the right moves. Once you've learned to put the best you forward, you need to go to places where you'll find interesting people and invite interaction. Don't fade into the wallpaper; get noticed and get involved. If you're already coupled up, learn to grow and nurture what you have and build a more fun, enjoyable and intimate relationship.
- Bag 'em, tag 'em and take 'em home. Once you put those right moves into action, there will be no stopping you! Dr. Phil shows you how to negotiate the relationship you desire and then close the deal with the one you want.
- Get out of your relationship rut. When you first fell in love, your heart raced just at the thought of him. But the daily grind, money problems, work, etc. have drained the life out of your relationship, and you take each other for granted. That doesn't mean you've fallen out of love. Dr. Phil shows you how to assess the state of your union and take the relationship to a deeper level.
Dr. Phil says there are no exceptions: There is somebody for everybody, and everybody deserves a relationship filled with love and excitement. Love Smart: Find the One You Want -- Fix the One You Got offers you the plan to find not just any relationship but the committed, loving, joy-filled relationship you've been waiting for.
Customer Reviews:
True remedy to lost souls.......2007-09-28
Dr. Phil did an excellent job here in pointing out what is wrong and how to fix the problem in Man love woman-Woman loves man relationship. If followed, love and happiness is ahead of you.
Dr. Israel King, Ph D, Author of How To Keep A Man
Love Smart Can Make You Smarter At Love..........2007-09-10
I like Phil McGraws books because his psychological insights are straight to the point. This book is no different. I like how he gets to the root of the problems with women's need for a man when he says that many women seek marriage and love in a state of desperation. He says that the right way to approach any relationship is as if it's a game. Because finding love and romancing are all games and getting serious about them not only spoils the mood but also chase the man away. He says that a woman should keep in mind that she doesn't need a man to be happy. If you think that you do need a man to be happy then you are putting unnecessary pressure on yourself and are probably on your way to self-sabotage. So the first step to getting the relationship you want is to take a `brutal look at yourself'. Know what you want and what is holding you back and you are more likely to succeed.
Another very blunt insight of Phil's is that many women are looking for a fairytale like marriage. They walk around expecting their man to fulfill every little dream trait they can imagine. If a man doesn't carry each one of the women's projections she will often move on. Phil says that this is the wrong way to approach seeking a mate because no man will fulfill all your expectations. The best way to approach a relationship is to find a man who encompasses at least 80% of the qualities you seek in a man and have at least the potential to learn the rest and that is good enough. Relationships, like life, are about compromise. Rather than chasing the picture perfect image, take what's available within reason. Then build a relationship.
My favorite chapter in the book is probably number 6 called " Your Guy Q". Phil Mcgraw states that a woman should not expect her man to fit female logic. A man is a man. They are physically and socially designed to be different than women. To expect a man to behave like a woman and understand your every nuance is unrealistic and you will be setting yourself up for disappointment.
Then he provides insight into male psychology through the general misconceptions that women have about men. For example the idea that men are all about avoiding commitment (not necessarily), they grow up to be lie their fathers and compare all women to their mothers (yes, parents are important to understanding your man). Men also feel a need to be the leader in a relationship and will often think it is weak to acknowledge needs and will also feel a little insecure around strong willed women as they feel less needed.
He also provided outlines of other personality traits of guys including men to beware of ( such as sex fiends or accomplishment braggers who just want to use women), then goes into tips and techniques to meet men and have a good time. He also covers the kinds of questions to ask to get to know him, how to handle your own expectations and much more. This book is a must read for any woman who wants a long lasting and loving relationship.
Honest and Real.......2007-09-01
This book is a true honest book about men, and why women don't have them. You can learn here what you need to understand about men, yourself, and how and why you don't attract people to yourself. It was a lesson in self-confidence and helps you look at yourself and what you reveal to the world. Expectations are a wonderful thing, but be realistic, and be who you are. This is a great book for anyone looking to understand themselves better, and how they can use what they have to improve instead of changing themselves. Dr. Phil is an entertaining writer too so it's an easy read.
Straightforward advice on how to find a spouse.......2007-07-27
Many women yearn for the right man, but they don't have a dating plan or even a good idea of what to seek. Dr. Phil McGraw, therapist and popular U.S. TV talk show host, provides a strategy, not only for finding Mr. Right but also for getting him to commit. You'll learn how to identify and maximize your strengths, and use them to attract a great guy. Dr. Phil tests your "Guy Q" and then explains how men are wired differently from women. This provides a road map into the opposition camp and gives you an advantage when negotiating a commitment. Is his counsel new? Maybe not. Is it old-fashioned? Maybe, but his intent is strategic. He offers straightforward, no-holds-barred, attention-getting advice, and fans will enjoy his familiar down-home style. If you are caught in a dating rut, this might help you get back in the groove. We recommend this guide to those new to the genre of books on "How to Catch and Keep a Man." Read it the next time you find yourself unwillingly home alone on a Saturday night.
love smart.......2007-07-20
good o be reminded about life lessons ...especially about love that we have so much of...it's a matter of choice.
Average customer rating:
- Inspiring, funny, appropriate and real
- practical, down to earth advice
- Secrets of an Irresistible Woman: Smart Rules for Capturing His Heart
- A NEW WOMAN
- a must read for all women
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Secrets of an Irresistible Woman: Smart Rules for Capturing His Heart
Michelle McKinney Hammond
Manufacturer: Harvest House Publishers
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
 Interpersonal Relations
| Relationships
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| Relationships
| Health, Mind & Body
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Mate Seeking
| Relationships
| Health, Mind & Body
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Sex
| Health, Mind & Body
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| General
| Psychology
| Sex & Religion
| Sex Instruction
General
| Health, Mind & Body
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Marriage & Family
| Sociology
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| Nonfiction
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ASIN: 1565078438 |
Book Description
Women will discover the rules and scriptural principles about love that ensure solid, godly relationships. Secrets offers practical advice, inspiring prayers, and study questions to help women understand and recognize real love.
Customer Reviews:
Inspiring, funny, appropriate and real.......2007-06-16
I stumbled upon this book and am so glad I did.
The author has an obvious love and passion for Jesus and a desire to tell others about how to be a godly and virtuous woman. Forget "The Rules" - Read and apply the principals outlined in the book and fall in love with the Savior. In a culture that forces one to immediate gratification, this book will inspire and motivate you to pray for your husband to FIND you ("He who finds a wife finds a good thing") while you are pursuing God's plan for your life. In addition to inspiring single women, this book also encourages married women and provides practical advice to becoming an irresistable wife.
The book is easy to read, humorous, points to Jesus, scripturally based and applicable for today. I like the use of scriptural stories which illustrate not only how to be a godly and faith inspired woman, but how the scriptures are truely timeless and relevant. She also starts each chapter with a prayer - beautiful, powerful and authentic prayer - preparing the heart of the reader to greater faith.
practical, down to earth advice.......2007-05-15
I found this to be a very down to earth book with practical advice. I have begun applying some of Michelle's principles and am finding that they really do work. Recently divorced after 28 years of marriage, I was a little unsure of how to approach dating again. I am now in a new relationship. This handy reference has helped my self assurance and I am using my power much more effectively than I ever would have otherwise. Thanks, Michelle!
Secrets of an Irresistible Woman: Smart Rules for Capturing His Heart.......2007-02-17
I think this book is a must have for all single and seeking women. It certainly changed my outlook, and I have since stopped seeking and resolved that Mr. Right will find me.
A NEW WOMAN.......2007-01-05
WOW! This book was so awesome...again, the title would make you think you would become so intriguing and irresistible you'd snag your next mate. NOT SO!
This book helped you to wash away the residue of old hurts and wrong mindsets. To have a heart for the Lord! SO WONDERFUL!
I bought 8 copies of this book for friends and family. It was so life changing I had to share this wealth of knowledge.
a must read for all women.......2006-10-12
I wish that I could have read this book when I was single, because I would have avoided a lot of heartache. This book helped me even as a married woman to make my relationship better. This is the best book I have ever read about relationships. This is her best!
Book Description
** COMPLETELY UNAUTHORIZED **
Speculating about the cultural metaphors in Janet Evanovich's wildly popular mystery series (which includes 11 books, from One for the Money to Eleven on Top), this anthology takes a look at lingerie-buyer-turned-bounty-hunter Stephanie Plum and catalogs her bad luck with cars (she's blown up quite a few), her good luck with men, her unorthodox approach to weapon storage, and the rich tapestry of her milieu: Trenton, New Jersey, also known as The Burg. The contributors praise the way the series smartly spoofs that familiar chick-lit epiphany—I have a bad job and what I really want is a good man!—in "Bounty Hunting as a Metaphor for Dating," "Why Stephanie Should Quit Her Job . . . but Never Will," and "Nothing Better than a Bad Boy Gone Good." Several essays veer from the chick-lit perspective and focus instead on the comic theme of luck and chance that ties Stephanie to the barroom gamblers and gangster meanies of her home town in "Luck of the Italian?: Skill Versus Chance."
Customer Reviews:
"Plum" seriew.......2007-09-02
I love the Stephanie Plum series of novels. I really hate reading so I purchase them both in audio for me and paperback for houseguests and friends. I'm drawn in with the excitment and adventure of the story that Janet seems to capture in every novel. It has twists, turns, Lula, mystery, wonder, and of course two very "HOT" men! Who wouldn't want a mix of both men. :} I would recommend the "Plum" series, her "Full" series, as well as her earlier novels of mixed titles. They're all great fun and keep you as a reader at the edge of your seat waiting to see if a cars going to get blown up, who's died this week, who attends the pot roast dinner, who she sleeps with next, what will burn down next, and will she get her man (love or bounty). I hope you enjoy them as much as I have. I look forward to #14 in the "Plum" series, the next "Full" novel, and the new novel Janet recently wrote with a new author being released this October. Thank you!
Miserable waste of money.......2007-08-29
Sorry I bought it. NOt worth the time to read. Even an unauthorised biograpy should have some consistency, some value not author conjecture. I know the lady is a character but this author didn't seem to be able to follow even an elementary line of thought as to how she got to be who she is. My opinion but I'm sticking to it
Toatal Waste of Time and Money.......2007-08-24
This book was a total waste of time and money. It was really just a rip off on information that could be gotten from almost any Stephanie Plum books written by Janet Evanovich.
PERFECTLY PLUM.......2007-08-21
LOUSY BOOK. UNAUTHOURIZED AT THAT. EVANOVICH OUGHT TO SUE THEM. BUNCH OF WANNABE'S SITTING AROUND TRYING TO DISECT EVANOVICH & PLUM. NOTHING TO BE GLEANED HERE. SAVE YOUR MONEY. BETTER YET...BUY MY COPY. I WANT MY MONEY BACK. VERY DISAPPOINTED.
Not what I expected.......2007-08-08
I don't know what I expected but I love the Stephanie Plum series. I have started this book 3 times at various essays and it hasn't held my interest yet. If anything changes I'll change my review.
Customer Reviews:
No good enough .......2007-01-05
This book do not provide women with enough incentive to drop off the bag of bad choices. I bought it for my daughter. She did not like the book.
An excellent book!.......2006-09-28
using case studies, the authors teach us WHY smart women make poor choices as told from the male perspective. Learn how to break the pattern and prevent it in your own life!
No more wrong men in this woman's life!.......2006-04-25
I went about my life wondering why men had such power over my life and emotions, despite the fact that I have many accomplishments under my belt and am a smart career woman.
Until I read this book I did not realise that I had emotional needs I was expecting another person to meet. These needs overpowered my judgement when chosing the right guy. I also had misconceptions on what a good relationship was supposed to be like. I thought feeling anxious was normal.
This book helped me figure out why I felt the way I did for many years, and now I have control of my life. As I read the book I felt lots of excitement, because I was discovering that things can be different, and this was the knowledge that would lead me to a happier life.
I would really like to thank the authors for enlightening me, and for their empathetic tone.
Examples on how to change would have been very helpful.
It's never to late.......2006-03-08
After reading this book my first thought was, Where was this book years ago when i really needed it? perhaps it's never too late to dissolve self destructive patterns. My father was killed when i was young setting the course for a lifetime of bad choices. My destructive behavior began in college when took up cohabitation with an older man looking for that father figure. I compounded that fiasco by marring him. after reading this book and others i have become painfully aware that the first step to taking my life back is acknowledging the choices i have made and why I made them.
A great book!.......2006-02-26
Just a great book showing all of the choices women can make, why we sometimes make the wrong ones without realizing it, and to learn how to make better ones without sacrificing our dignity. The book gives great examples to learn from!
Book Description
What Smart Women Know is a straightforward and honest guide from women who have learned the hard way how to be smart about men.
Customer Reviews:
A must-read.......2007-04-11
This book is so real, cuts through the b.s., and tells women what is essential for keeping sane in our relationships with men.
I picked up "What Smart Women Know" in a bookstore about 15 years ago, when I was 21 and in a bad relationship. I have kept this book, and I know it has helped me through many other relationships, over the past 15 years.
I am not even going to cite sayings from the book, because I couldn't do it justice that way.
I feel lucky I wandered into that book store and grabbed this book. I have read many other self-help/relationship books, and they did not help me in any way near as much as "What Smart Women Know"
I think many of us would ultimately get the love we deserve if we paid atttention to much of the advice in this book.
Go get it, Sisters!
one of my favorites.......2007-04-05
I bought this book for the first time after my first marriage ended (should have read the book before I married him). Not long after, I thought I was in love with a man who had some interesting problems. Thank goodness I read the book and realized that I couldn't help him. I've given multiple copies of this book away and have loaned it out to many others. It's currently on loan to a friend who is going through a divorce. I'm married to a wonderful man and I like to flip through the book just to remind myself how lucky I really am to have a man who loves me and respects me. He understands me and I understand him. I love being a smart woman because I'm a happy woman. I'm about to order this book for my niece. She doesn't yet know what smart women know.
Take it from me ...........2007-03-08
I am a smart professional woman who has (and still is) learning the "hard way" about relationships. This book is an awesome resource for a quick pick-me-up. It's super easy to read ... You can turn to any page and start reading without being lost. I've "doggy-eared" so many pages that I want to remember so I can flip to them quickly. It's full of one-liner realities that you never think of, but they make a whole lot of sense. Some of my favorites: "Smart women know that a woman's most powerful sense is her sense of self;" or "Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want;" and "Smart women have the sense to appreciate a man who has no interesting problems."
I am buying this book for all of my single (and should-be-single) girlfriends for their birthdays... Whether they want it or not! It's a must-read for women who are in the bad habit of not valuing themselves enough in relationships.
I highly recommend it!! I carry it in my purse!
My daughter is the best judge.......2007-01-24
I selected this book for my 16 year old daughter a few months ago because she has a boyfriend who was doing and saying things that made her uncomfortable. She devoured it and made many notations in the margins. Since then, she has asked me to order the book for two female friends. She became very empowered by the straight forward advise given in the book and seemed relieved to finally be able to solidify her priorites. We are a family that models healthy relationships, but sometimes teens need various forms of healthy support in order to make values clear(church, teachers, mentors). This book was one of those sources for my daughter.
A Reference Book for Women!.......2006-09-30
I found this book to be very honest and helpful. It's written in a conversational tone that's like talking to a respected friend. I feel that it is a MUST READ for women of all ages, whether single or in a relationship. You may not agree with everything in the book, but there's a wealth of news you can use. I also highly recommend other books by this author!
Amazon.com
Parents and experts tend to be divided into two embittered camps: strong discipline and permissiveness. How about another choice? Now comes Smart Love: The Compassionate Alternative to Discipline That Will Make You a Better Parent and Your Child a Better Person, a book exploring Martha Heineman Pieper and William J. Pieper's alternative approach to raising responsible, smart, loving children. The authors are longtime experts in child and family psychology. She's a psychotherapist who works with both children and adults, and he's a child psychologist and psychoanalyst. Together, they've raised five children while professionally researching the roots and keys to children's inner happiness. Their "Smart Love" approach to child rearing will provide a breath of relief for parents uncomfortable with formal methods of discipline, but deeply concerned with providing their kids with strong, safe limits.
Focusing in turn on babies, toddlers, young children, older children, adolescents, and kids with special circumstances (including adoption and learning disabilities), the Piepers argue effectively that "tough love" doesn't work, and that parents will get more cooperation if they focus on their child's inner happiness and "avoid unnecessary confrontations with children about behavior for which they will eventually assume responsibility." While this approach may initially feel radical to some, the Piepers' clear explanations and force of research and practice will win converts to their gentle, strong approach. The Piepers write, "Time-outs, restrictions, punishments, and other forms of discipline are based on the assumption that being too nice to children who are 'misbehaving' will encourage and reward bad behavior." Instead of discipline (or permissiveness), the authors recommend that parents parent by "loving regulation," an alternative approach to out-of-control behavior that stops the behavior immediately but doesn't deprive the child of parental warmth or admiration. Smart Love will help parents raise confident, resourceful, and compassionate children. --Ericka Lutz
Book Description
Smart Love shows how putting a child's inner happiness first, not his outward behavior, actually will make hima better behaved, and in the long run, more confident and responsible.
Customer Reviews:
Smart Love is "good management".......2007-09-13
I live in Chicago, where the Pfeiffers have written a column for the local parenting magazine for years. Their comments made such sense to me that I was eager to read their book....and I'm glad I did. My only quibble with this book and this approach is that there is a lot of psychoanalytic discussion which may not always 'reach" the non mental health professional.
I'm in business and I've managed teams. A lot of "Smart Love" to me seems like good management:
. Good managers know that you have happier teams when you focus on the positive..that for every criticsm, there should be 5 positive comments.
. Good managers know that responding to people is the way to foster the best communication with them. A good manager, e.g., would never put an employee in isolation ("time out") for bad behavior. A good manager would look for ways to increase the chances of that employee's success, nurture that person's strengths, offer support and praise.
For those of us who grew up and were managed through fear and punishment, this may be radical. But having been managed by "Tough Love" types and being managed by Good Communicators/Positive Supporters...I know that my work just flowed for the Communicators, and I did everything grudgingly for the Tough Love types.
Incidentally, the Pfeiffers have a Parenting Center (I have no affiliation), which offers hourly by phone parent coaching. They also have a very helpful website. For information on both please see: http://www.smartloveparent.org
Smart Love; at last.......2007-08-05
Excellent book. How refreshing to hear, from profesionals, what we all know in our hearts but struggle to trust in a society that values punishment and feeds its economy by exploiting human suffering rather than creating solutions to it.Smart Love is the theory I've been waiting for. Congratulations to the authors for getting it out. When it arrived I coudln't put it down untill I'd finnished it. Now I'm reading it again with my partner and already it's making a difference to our daughter who has struggled with anxiety and insecurity. Smart Love points out our mistakes without giving us a hard time for them. Highly recomended.
Science plus good practical advice makes for real parenting help.......2005-09-28
This is the first parenting book I have read (and I read them by the bushel-full) that offers a coherent, scientifically based view of childhood and the parenting relationship and then develops practical, doable parenting strategies based on the findings. Most parenting advice is so ad hoc that contradictions abound. The Piepers have an empirically based view of the unique nature of the baby's mind and how parents need to respond in ways that account for that immaturity. The same holds true of children all the way through adolescence. Take a look - you will see how different and truly helpful this book is!
The ONLY Scientific Approach to Parenting!.......2005-07-25
I am a clinical psychologist with expertise in developmental psychology. I have been impressed with the Piepers' work, both Smart Love and Addicted to Unhappiness, because it is the only approach to child development and self-help that actually draws from current empirical research. For example, Regina Sullivan's work showing that rat pups learn to love odors that are paired with electric shocks supports the Piepers' argument that we are all born to love the care we get. Meltzoff's work on imitation in newborns as well as the cutting edge research on "Motor Neurons" supports the Piepers' discovery that all babies learn to treat themselves as they are treated, which is why conventional discipline is harmful. There is an enormous amount of research showing that babies (and other primates) who are treated with consistent kindness are less vulnerable to stress and better learners. I could go on and on if space alllowed to illustrate that current thinking in child development solidly supports the Piepers' work. In addition, they make clear that they base their work on their own clinical work, which is also both scientific and widely published. The assertion that the Piepers' work is not empirically based is either motivated by ill-will or is very ill-infomred. Take a look yourself to see how well-reasoned their arguments are.
Parenting in a Vacuum.......2005-07-25
First of all, where (in the actual written text) is the empirical support for the developmental achievement of "unshakeable inner well-being" or "inner happiness?" Second, how does this "inner happiness" lead to the developmental achievement of helping a child be part of a family and care about the needs of others? Third, on what basis, besides their own clinical-parenting observations, do these authors claim that by providing focused caregiving attention to a child, the child will naturally develop the inner confidence to care about the world around them or others? While some reviewers (Berry) assert that this book is based on scientific research, the actual text does not cite any biological or psychological research or connect itself to any other larger body of work. the authors may have valid points but i am merely reporting on the book that i have read which is lacking any substancial reference to current child development literature. Although Berry cites motives of ill will or misinformation, prehaps a more generous account of my review is simply that I disagree that its a useful parenting book. There is a growing body of literature in the field of ethnopedriatrics that suggest that culture plays a large role in parenting and that within cultures there are multiple valid parenting approaches. In the United States, there is a tendency to pay attention to the cognitive and emotional development of a child. I do not agree that the authors have developed a better way to facilitate emotional development in children through focus caregetting pleasure during a critical period of time. I am simply unpersuaded and the book lacks sufficent evidence to make the claim. Other authors have done a better job: Children learn to play attention to the needs and desires of others by watching what adults do (with other adults) and by guiding their children to respect the needs of others--See Alfie Kohn's Unconditional Parenting, Chapter 10. Focused caregiving attention is not enough (as there are many cultures in which the parents remain available to children but do not overly focus on the children) -- See Meredith Small's Our Babies Ourselves and The Continuum Concept. Without much evidence to support efficacy, these authors seem to espouse an approach to parenting that teaches a child that their caregetting needs take priority over the needs of others (other siblings, parents, pets). In a family, everyone has needs to be cared for and it is ongoing challenge (and joy) to create a family in which everyone feels they can --1)get their needs met and 2)contribute to each others wellbeing. In this book, the parenting relationship takes place in a vacuum and the child is the center of the universe--not realistic, not good for the parent, and definitely not good for the child.
Average customer rating:
- Great Book!
- helped me break the ice
- Helpful for my shy under 30 year old son
- Good, practical advice
- I loved it!
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How to Attract Anyone, Anytime, Anyplace: The Smart Guide to Flirting
Susan Rabin , and
Barbara Lagowski
Manufacturer: Plume
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Binding: Paperback
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ASIN: 0452270863 |
Amazon.com
Buried deep inside each of us, a fun, flirtatious person is anxious to get out. No longer do you have to be the wallflower at the party, watching others mixing and mingling and meeting that absolutely fabulous person in the corner. In How to Attract Anyone, Anytime, Anyplace, Susan Rabin, a therapist who was a coordinator for Family Living/Sex Education for the New York City Board of Education, elucidates the principles of flirting--from body language to conversation tips to where to meet other singles--and helps to get you on your way to getting out there!
This book is a playful read, although it's not as in-depth as some of the other romance self-help books (such as Leil Lowndes's How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You, which, while covering much of the same material, has a scientific basis at its core and tends to take itself a bit more seriously). Rabin concisely gives you the tools to gain the self-confidence necessary to meet Mr. or Ms. Right. The advice won't help you once you get to that first date, but the detailed explanation of the beginning steps will help you find the person to ask out. And if for reasons unknown, that person turns you down, Rabin also advises on how to deal with "no."
Although a quiz in the beginning is supposed to enable you to determine what type of flirt you are (for example, a self-centered flirt, the analytical flirt, or the pressured flirt), Rabin doesn't spend much time exploring what this means for individuals or how to overcome specific flaws. Instead, How to Attract Anyone, Anytime, Anyplace deals more with generalities: each chapter gives a heart-shaped bulleted list of tips under categories such as "How to Make Your Own Luck" and "Tips from a Master Flirt." The one chapter that does venture into the territory of psychology--"Don't Be Your Own Worst Enemy"--is a bit cursory and unsatisfying. Overall, though, this guide is ideal for the beginner who honestly feels that there's nowhere to go to meet new people and feels utterly hopeless when faced with a stranger. Before you know it, Rabin will help you feel like a flirt extraordinaire! --Jenny Brown
Customer Reviews:
Great Book!.......2007-09-04
Another new bestseller which I highly recommend - The Exclusive Layguide: When Dating and Having Sex with Incredibly Hot Women is No Longer Mirage Even If You Don't Look Like a Model or Don't Make a Fortune
helped me break the ice.......2007-04-03
I found the tips on engaging conversation to be very helpful. I've always had difficulty in initiating light hearted flirtation, and this book really helped me find ways to connect.
Helpful for my shy under 30 year old son.......2007-03-26
I gave this book to my son for a birthday present since his social skills regarding flirting were a little dull.
It has helped him in many ways. I recommend the book as well as attending workshops Susan holds which can be seen on her website.
Good, practical advice.......2007-03-25
Guys, especially, can learn a lot from this book. It's full of helpful hints for those of us who are shy or not naturally outgoing, and it provides some insight into the female value system -- so often such a mystery. Well worth the read, and the price: mere peanuts if only once successful.
I loved it!.......2006-09-29
A wonderful 'how to'book. The authors encourage people to relax and reach out...a very important message. Where do I meet my soulmate??? Everywhere!!!! What do I do after I say "hey"? You'll learn it in this book.
Book Description
The must-have guide for any woman who’s ever thought about saying “yes” to the other big question: Will you move in with me?
More and more couples are choosing to live together before tying the knot—for convenience, to save money and, most importantly, to see if they’re compatible. While living together can be an exciting way to take your relationship to the next level, it can also present a host of new questions and challenges.
With its fresh, girlfriend-to-girlfriend manner, Shacking Up walks you through every step of the cohabitation process, from making the initial decision to breaking up or getting married. Beginning with a readiness quiz to help you decide if you and your honey are prepared to take the plunge, authors Stacy and Wynne Whitman provide a wealth of hands-on advice from lawyers, psychologists and financial planners as well as entertaining, true-life stories from couples with shacking up experience. Topics include: breaking the news to your family; managing and merging your finances; protecting yourself legally; real-estate decisions; and day-to-day dilemmas such as chores, privacy, and keeping the spark alive. Whether you opt for wedding bells or decide he’s not the one for you, Shacking Up is a stylish, empowering handbook for staying smart, savvy, and true to yourself along the road to happily ever after.
Customer Reviews:
repetitive.......2007-10-02
If you are in love with your man, skip the first hundred pages, which simply asks the reader: Are you sure you want to be with him? Assuming the answer is yes, you can move on to the actual shacking up part. This has some good info, but is drawn out for far too long. You can pick this book up in the store and skim the few useful chapters to get the main ideas. I gave up reading this book towards the end. I also read Unmarried to Each Other, which I enjoyed. Check out that book instead.
An essential!.......2007-03-30
This book is absolutely *essential* for anyone shacking up. Whether or not your family (or your significant other's family) objects, this book offers helpful hints on cohabitating for you and him. It is written from a young, insider point of view by a magazine author and an attorney knowledgeable in this area. This is NOT a boring book on cohabitation trends, but rather is an exciting exploration into issues to come as you embark into living with your significant other. I appreciated the authors' depth of knowledge and ability to relate.
Obnoxious........2007-02-23
Everything reviewer Lisa A. Lassner said below and more. This book is written like a neverending, obnoxious Cosmo or Glamour article. It tries to be "girlfriend to girlfriend" and it just comes off as ridiculous. Everything positive that I got out of "Unmarried to Each Other" was shaken by this book because of its "no legal marriage = no commitment" attitude. Devoting ONE chapter at the end of the book to alternative couples is just insulting.
It's light on research, light on footnotes and light on reality.
Seriously, get "Unmarried to Each Other: The Essential Guide to Living with Each Other as an Unmarried Couple" instead. Pair it with "Living Together: A Legal Guide for Unmarried Couples" and you have a winning combination that blows this book out of the water.
A Guy's Review........2007-02-02
My girlfriend and I decided to move in together a little while back and she asked me to read this book which she had recently purchased in anticipation of our decision. She said it would be a great conversation starter and a way for us to talk about things that we hadn't discussed before. I said "sure", and read it, and thought it was well worth my time.
It is written by women, and for a woman's point of view, but I thought it applied equally as well to guys.
From my point of view, the advice in the book was very good. I especially liked how real life examples were brought into play every time the author wanted to illustrate a specific point -sometimes for better, and sometimes for worse.
I like how the author talked about the financial commitments of a move-in (which can be as important as the emotional commitment). Couples often have a hard time talking about money, like it sort of debases the relationship, or is a taboo subject. But I believe that if you love someone, you should want to protect them, and you would want to make sure that if anything ever happened to you (or your relationship) that you'd both want to emerge whole to start again. No you can't plan for disaster, but you can plan for what the author calls "a bonk on the head which changes your personality forever which then leads to a parting of ways". It makes sense.
Does anyone ever intend to leave a relationship if they make the decision to cohabitate? I doubt it -but that's exactly the point. The book speaks about all the things you need to consider about timing, about commitment, and the views of your relatives. I would hope that no one ever broke up because they took a couple of months longer to rent a place together while they were sorting these issues out. Take a deep breath, read this book, and compare your experiences to those inside. If when you read it you feel closer to your partner, then great! But if you get a scrunchy feeling in your belly, then stop, take a step back, and wait a few more months while you talk through some of these issues.
And finally, I wanted to share some of the notes that I jotted down while reading the book...
"Be accountable for your feelings. A person isn't MAKING you feel sad, angry, or frustrated; you're ALLOWING yourself to feel these things. By taking responsibility for your actions and emotions, you'll give yourself the power to change the situation".
"When faced with a stalemate, evaluate whether the issue is more important to your beau, or to you. If it means more to him, give in. If you, don't back down."
"With problems, focus on solutions rather than the stuff that can't be changed."
Sound advice, and highly recommended!
Not bad.......2007-01-20
I feel that this book, though it brings up some interesting points (I was especially appreciative of the legal and financial advice), I found much of the covered topics to be for people with little common sense. Several of the women interviewed lived and stayed in relationships with men for years and years before even bringing up the idea of marriage, and then are devastated when they admit that they're not the marrying type. I am also of the opinion that if you are in a stable and serious relationship that is moving towards cohabitation, you should already know where your partner stands on marriage, children, or any possible future plan concerning your relationship. I get the feeling that this book is geared towards women who might not really know their significant others all that well.
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- Living Gluten-Free For Dummies (For Dummies (Health & Fitness))
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- Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage in the Bible
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- Miss Bindergarten Gets Ready for Kindergarten (Miss Bindergarten Books)
- Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way: Revised Edition
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