Book Description
What does it mean to be a man? Moreover, how does a father instill these qualities in his son? Using as an example the process by which a boy moved through the medieval stages of knighthood, author Robert Lewis identifies parallel stages for today’s fathers to create ceremonies to commemorate significant milestones in a young man’s journey toward becoming a modern-day knight. Beginning with a biblical perspective of manhood, author-pastor Robert Lewis shares a unique approach to shaping a boy into a man by equipping him with three essential elements: a vision, a code of conduct, and a cause (Christianity) in which to invest his life. Complete with ceremony ideas to celebrate accomplishments and ingrain them in his mind, this softcover is as insightful as it is practical in raising a boy to be a chivalrous, godly man.
Customer Reviews:
An Awesome Must Read for Fathers with Sons.......2007-09-06
My husband does not take the time to read much since he reads so much at work, but when he started this book he could not put it down. It was very encouraging, insightful and is a must read for fathers with sons !!!!!
Exceptional book.......2007-05-13
I highly recommend this book. It's unique, creative, insightful, and provides numerous excellent tools for dads to use with their sons. It's the best of its kind that I've read ~ have sent copies to my three sons-in-law. Am also recommending it to all the dads in my church.
Rev. John P. Splinter, Ph.D.
Raising A Modern-Day Knight.......2007-03-31
Important information for every dad that wants to raise a son according to biblical principals. A must read book to move beyond good intentions and give what every son needs--love, affirmation, vision, direction and a father's blessing.
A book every father should have!.......2007-02-09
I picked up Raising a Modern Day Knight while attending a recent Family Life marriage conference. I'm sure there isn't a dad out there that doesn't want to raise his kids properly, and especially his son. I have a five year old and know that right now, I am his hero, his best friend, the best guy in the world. I don't want to squander his admiration and unconditional love. I want to know how I can raise my son so he will be a strong man. This book attempts to answer that question. This is a Focus on the Family book and broaches the subject of parenting from a Christian point of view. It's also a very short book and can probably be read in a couple of hours. In its brevity, you aren't going to get a lot of content, but what you do get is good stuff.
Author Robert Lewis equates raising a son to the process of raising a young man to be a knight back in the dark ages. At times, the analogy is cumbersome, but the book still offers a lot of good points. Also, the book is filled with tons of scriptural references, which at times caused my eyes to glaze over. I feel the scripture references needed to be backed by more examples or antecdotes. This book is primarly about teaching your older kid how to be a man, and how to do it through ceremonies. The book doesn't include much discussion on how kids think and act, so don't expect that in here. This book is probably for men with kids approaching puberty and older, because it focuses a lot on guiding your young boys into manhood through memorable ceromonies.
Lewis men need to teach their boys how to be men by providing a strong example in Jesus, living right in their own lives, guiding them through memorable ceremonies and surrounding them with a community of men. The ceremonies are a big focus of the book, and although the author says he provides a lot of examples of different types of ceremonies, they really are all the same. You may not want to give your son a family crest at his college graduation, but the book does stress the importance of ceremonies for your children Some of the most power ful segments of the book are when fathers mention they failed their sons, or when sons said their dads weren't there for them.
Every father should read this book and every father should understand that the role of a father is the most important job they will ever have.
What is a man?.......2006-08-10
That is the key question for men born and raised under the infuence of a society burdened by political correctness and absent fathers. The most disturbing askers of this question are young males themselves, who are receiveing so many inputs from so many unreliable sources. Robert Lewis has not only answered the question for himself and his sons, but provides a model based on the most noble parts of the mideval concept of knighthood. His answers are compelling, soundly based in Christianity, and illustrated with many "how to" methods that have worked for him and others. While the book is targeted at fathers with juvenile sons, it has meaning for all of us.
Amazon.com
Listening to the author William Pollack read Real Boys, it doesn't take long to find out that being a boy these days isn't all fun and games. As codirector of the Center for Men at McLean Hospital/Harvard Medical Center, Pollack has seen behind the stoic masks of troubled, modern boys as they struggle to cope with the mixed messages, conflicting expectations, and increasingly complex demands they receive from our evolving society. "New research shows that boys are faring less well ... that many boys have remarkably fragile self-esteem, and that the rates of both depression and suicide in boys are frighteningly on the rise."
What are parents to do? They could start by listening to the author's thoughts on contemporary child-rearing techniques, analysis of the root causes of many male behavior problems, and recommendations for avoiding all-too-common pitfalls. In Real Boys, Pollack draws upon nearly two decades of research to support his theories and makes an impressive assault on the popular myths surrounding the conventional definition of masculinity.
While listening to Real Boys, it is important to remember that Pollack is a psychologist, not a professional narrator. His enunciation is less than perfect and his reading sometimes strikes a clinical tone, but his intelligent writing and the obvious concern he holds for this important subject help carry a passionate message and compensate for any vocal shortcomings. (Running time: three hours, two cassettes) --George Laney
Book Description
Featuring a new preface by the author on how parents can make a difference.With author appearances on Good Morning America, The Today Show, 20 /20 and NPR's Fresh Air, and featuring articles in Newsweek, Time, and The New York Times, Real Boys is one of the most talked-about and influential books published this year.Based on William Pollack's groundbreaking research at Harvard Medical School over two decades, Real Boys explores why many boys are sad, lonely, and confused although they may appear tough, cheerful, and confident. Pollack challenges conventional expectations about manhood and masculinity that encourage parents to treat boys as little men, raising them through a toughening process that drives their true emotions underground. Only when we understand what boys are really like, says Pollack, can we help them develop more self-confidence and the emotional savvy they need to deal with issues such as depression, love and sexuality, drugs and alcohol, divorce, and violence.
Customer Reviews:
Not Just About Boys.......2007-08-20
As the sister of six brothers and the mother of two boys, I found myself agreeing with the author on many fronts.
What the author calls "The Boy Code" is what Steven Covey would probably call using efficiency rather than effectiveness as a goal in raising males. The problem is that efficiency leaves the boy with a limited arsenal when it comes to understanding and taking responsibility for his own emotional life. It certainly leaves the boy with limited resources when it comes to understanding or helping others who are wrestling with problems in their own inner life. The lie of "The Boy Code" is that recognizing one's own "negative" emotions is a self-indulgence that simply makes a person weak, a weakness that is permissible in famales, but not in males. Nothing could be further from the truth.
We don't do our boys any favors by teaching them to ignore their own emotions. We also do them a disservice if we let the expectations learned from females dictate what kind of emotional life we expect of males. I know men who live by what this book is espousing. They aren't "wimps", as some reviewers have implied that boys raised in this way will be. They are adults who understand their own emotions well enough to not be unknowingly ruled by them. They know when they are angry, they can admit when they feel fear, and they know how to choose to act under those circumstances, rather than simply reacting, which is what people who refuse to acknowledge their own inner life tend to do. They are certainly not men who expect themselves to experience emotion in the same way as their wives or other women in their lives do, nor do they feel some authority to dictate emotional taboos to other men. They process their emotions in their own ways, they let others do the same, and they don't apologize for it.
I wouldn't, however, limit the observations in this book to boys. There are women and girls who, for whatever reason, have learned to live by what the author calls "The Boy Code." There are men who don't process their emotions as this book implies that men raised in earlier decades will. For that reason, I would caution that the reader not presume after reading this book that he or she now "understands men." The book gives tools for understanding others and helping them to understand themselves, and points out some ineffective but "efficient" ways that people often use in dealing with strong emotion. Knowing these common human patterns isn't a substitute for paying attention to the actions and emotional style of the person you're actually dealing with.
The reviewers who complain that the book takes a great many pages to repeat the same story over and over have a point. A reader who does not want or need so many examples to get the author's point won't lose much by simply skimming the book after the first 100-200 pages or so.
Author wants boys to be "nurtured" to be wimps and sissies !.......2007-08-12
In a nutshell,(which is where this book belongs), the "author" wants boys to be wimps and sissies. The fact that a major New York publisher would print such nonsense pretty well proves that Communism is not dead, but like a snake has simply changed it's skin; AKA Social Marxism. Had William S. Pollack been around in 1776, his advise to Patrick Henry would no doubt have been to "let it all out" and cry about it, and counselling for the depression.
The fact that you can buy this book for a mear penny pretty much says it all.
Few people who have actually owned and read the book feel any need to keep it on their bookshelves. Mine is now going in the trash. As an antdote to this nonsense, I recomend "THE WAR AGAINST BOYS" by Christina Sommers, also sold bt Amazon.
this book is boring.......2007-06-20
It took so much effort to get through this book, and I'm not even sure why I read the whole thing--I must have been really bored. If you want to read a book full of stories about wealthy teenage boys who can't decide which ivy league school to attend written by a man who clearly thinks academic achievement is the single most important thing in life, this is the book for you. And most of the stories sound fictional; maybe that's just because Pollack isn't a talented writer.
I gained nothing from this book and I want my money back.
Great balanced account with concrete and practical suggestions.......2006-12-08
William Pollack certainly has impressive credentials with respect to writing on this topic. This is apparent from the editorial reviews above. More importantly, he is a good writer who brings the inner life of boys and the challenges they face in our society to life. He provides both an inside view and a worthwhile outside perspective.
One of the repeating themes in the books is that we have contradictory expectations of men (boys) in our contemporary society. For example, on one level we expect men to be strong, tough, etc. At the same time, there is also a tacit expectation that contemporary men embrace the "New Age" ideal of being tender and vulnerable. Dr. Pollack points out that this causes many men to feel conflicted and often reduces them to painful silence and often isolation.
While Dr. Pollack covers the inside life of boys, he also does an admirable job of citing relevant statistics on how boys performance is slipping academically and other useful objective sociological data. He covers this issue from every angle and goes beyond diagnosing the problems to making concrete suggestions for parents, schools and society at large.
This book is a valuable addition to the literature on boys and the challenges they face. It is definitely a must own book for anyone who is raising a boy along with "Parenting from the Inside Out" by Daniel Siegel which is great for any parent.
find another book .......2006-08-05
Makes many accurate observations about boy behavior and its origins,however,the book leans a little too much toward "feminization" of boys in preventing behavioral problems.This may be the politically-correct way to help boys,but not the productive way or the ethical way.
Book Description
Raise Him Right
Women are complicated. Men spend years in marriage trying to figure out how to love and understand their wives, only to wind up frustrated and ready to give up. Who better to help a man begin to understand a woman than his mother? While you hope and pray for your son’s future marriage, the time for your powerful influence is now! Don’t wait for the world to change its morality; let Preparing Him for the Other Woman show you how to shape your son’s character and teach him how to interpret the heart of a woman. Find ways to make your home a place of refuge, growth, and peace as you guide him toward becoming the kind of man who looks to God for guidance in loving his wife well.
What Kind of Husband
Will Your Son Grow Up to Be?
His is a generation of boys who have better relationships with their Game Boxes, i-Pods, televisions, and computers than they do with their families. His understanding of marriage is that it has little hope for success, witnessing a fifty percent divorce rate both inside and outside of the church. His world is one where pornography is no longer a hidden shame, but encouraged as entertainment.
Can you raise your son to one day love, lead, and protect
a wife and family in a world like this?
The answer is yes. The heartbeat of this book is to give you the tools to help your son become a tender warrior who will one day fight for his family, a godly husband who will faithfully love his wife, and a leader who will be a man of his word.
The time is now to take your love, tears, prayers, and influence and pour them into his future. Even if our world does not change its moral fiber, you can influence your son and bring hope to the next generation. It’s an opportunity of a lifetimeâyours.
âNot only is this an amazing concept, but it meets an urgent need for every mother of boys.â
Lisa Bevere
Speaker and author of Fight Like a Girl and Kissed the Girls and Made Them Cry
âI have three sons, two stepsons, two son-in-laws, and nine grandsons! Any help I can glean to give me more wisdom is welcome. I would have welcomed more help like this when I was a young mother raising my young men for âthe other woman.’â
LeeAnn Rawlins
Coauthor, To Love Again
Story Behind the Book
When the manager of a large Christian bookstore told Sheri Rose Shepherd that readers of the popular His Princess TM series were futilely looking for material about raising their sons to be godly future husbands, she knew she could help. âThink about how much farther all men would be in their marriages if their moms had trained them how to one day love and understand their wives,â says Sheri Rose . âWe can take all the mistakes we’ve made in our lives and use them to teach our sons the right way to live. And we can use our most powerful weapon of allâour prayersâto fight for them.â
Customer Reviews:
A Mother's Guide.......2007-09-09
I teach parenting classes for a Pregnancy center located in the lowerclass section of a large city. Many of our mom's are single and trying to raise their family without a lot of support from the fathers.They also din't have good role models in their own families while growing up.
I used this book as the topic for our Mother's Day luncheon. It gave them encouragement that they COULD make a difference! I also included the book, The Power of a Praying Parent..because they need God's help and guidance in raising their children.
Our mom's LOVED the class!
Letting him "go" is easier than you think...she'll show you how.......2007-06-12
This is, by far, my very favorite book on this subject matter that I have ever read. It has compelled me to write a review on it; I sent the link to my sister and friends and they all RAVED about it. More than anything, it has helped me to begin treating my "tiny husband" (as I used to think of him as) as a young man with a godly purpose to his life and doing it step-by-step this early on (he's 6)...which will help me to "let go" when God brings his wife to him someday. It will also allow him to "leave and cleave" to his wife in a healthy manner.
It has also helped me to begin truly loving his future wife and anticipating her arrival one day; I now pray more fervently for her.
My husband related to it so well, too. When I read to him that her husband's mother had been praying for her since she was a little girl, he actually choked up, as his mother died when he was a little boy. He's known that my mother always prayed for him - and I read that passage to him on his mother's birthday to let him know that he was never alone. We both now are treating our son in a manner to which he feels inspired to be a godly man, husband and father.
Simple, practical, loving, and Christ-following. This is my guide to loving my son and helping him to be the man that God calls him to be. Thank you, Shari Rose!
timely delivery.......2007-05-29
I received my book order within a week and in very good order.
Thank you Amamzon
Sons are Awesome!!!.......2007-05-09
I am the mother of 4 sons. I wish I had read this book years ago when I was a young mother.
I am also a teacher of young kids and through the years I have seen a decline in respect among children.
This book had some really awesome ideas for how to totally bond with a son, beginning at a very young age.
It teaches how to show young boys how to respect women!!!!!!!
I am lucky that I had my 4th son later in life, so I did do things right with him. And what the book says is true...if you show boys how to behave, they will. My son is now almost 16 and to this day loves to spend time with me, even in front of his peers. He craves personal time and touch with his momma. I know he is going to grow into an awesome husband who will respect and love women.
So if you are a mother of boys, definately get this book. It would also make a wonderful baby gift to a new mom!!
Laurie :-)
Boost I needed.......2007-01-29
I loved this book! This type of book was one that I had been looking for for a long time. I have a 14 year old son and also work for an organization that works with single moms. I am also ordering this book for my staff who have sons. I was feeling helpless since reading other books that put so much stress on dads being a part of their son's lives and leaving out what moms can do. I agree with dads being the important element in their son's lives 100 percent, but what about the son who doesn't have a father figure or whose father is not active in the son's life? This book gives helpful and easy information for any mom to understand and apply. I highlighted many things in my book so I have a quick reference when I slip up and stop encouraging my son like I want to be. It might be common sense to some moms but to some of the moms I know, this book will be great! It's an easy read, even for someone who doesn't care to read much.
Amazon.com
Preeminent child psychologist, Michael Thompson is renowned for his efforts to educate and assist parents with sons. First with Raising Cain (his response to Mary Pipher's Reviving Ophelia ) and now with Speaking of Boys, Thompson encourages parents to help their sons develop the emotional intelligence necessary to succeed. The book seeks to answer parents' questions concerning the complexities of raising a boy in today's society. Every chapter introduces questions from parents on issues like puberty, underage drinking, and increased violence in schools, and in every instance the author responds with insightful and knowledgeable advice. Chapters entitled "Speaking of Social Anger and Aggression" and "Feelings and Communication--Is Our Sensitive Boy a Sitting Duck for Bullies?" are particularly in tune with the apprehension parents feel when sending their sensitive sons off for another grueling day at school.
The key to raising a healthy son, says Thompson, is to help your boy attain an emotional intelligence that will allow him to cope with difficult and threatening situations. To accomplish this, parents need to nurture compassion in their sons and try to avoid allowing them to become desensitized by the teasing and pressure of others. Respecting your son's need to appear strong at times and offering him a sense of safety when discussing emotionally revealing subjects are two ways Thompson encourages parents to nurture their son's emotional development. As anyone who is raising a boy knows, it's a job that is never quite finished, and with this book, Thompson offers parents an invaluable tool, regardless of their son's age. --Dal Asher
Book Description
My eight-year-old son is the only boy in his class who doesn't have a Gameboy. I don't want him to be ostracized for not having one, but I worry that it's addictive. What do you think?
Our two sons are eleven and fourteen, and they are fiercely competitive. The tension around our house is awful. How can we help them get along better?
We've worked very hard to keep our ten-year-old son in touch with his feelings. Sometimes it seems as if we've put him at a disadvantage, surrounded by tougher boys who can be pretty cruel with teasing. How can we help him protect himself when other boys start to tease?
With his bestselling book Raising Cain, Michael Thompson, Ph.D., at last broke the silence surrounding the emotional life of boys and spearheaded an important national debate. His warmth and humor quickly made him a popular and respected international speaker and consultant. Now he directs his authority, insight, and eloquence to answering your questions about raising a son. With candid questions and thoughtful, detailed responses, Speaking of Boys covers hot-button topics such as peer pressure, ADHD/ADD, and body image as well as traditional issues such as friendship, divorce, and college and career development. This perceptive, informative, and passionate book will leave you not only with useful, practical advice but also with the comforting knowledge that other parents share the same concerns you do when it comes to raising our boys into well-adjusted, responsible men.
Customer Reviews:
Now I know why they think that's funny ..........2007-08-14
I've read a couple of books on boys and the best by far is Speaking of Boys: Answers to the Most-Asked Questions About Raising Sons. It's set up in a question and answer style and it answers questions like:
* why are brothers competitive?
* does my son really mean to be that mean to his sister?
* why is my son preening like this and will it ever end?
* what to do as a divorced mom breaking up with someone
* what do do when your son starts acting abusive or violent
* how to react to your son (or his friend) lying
But I found it most useful in understanding boys' humor. I don't find most "boy jokes" very funny and I struggle on how to respond and I struggle with understanding why they are funny - from farts to knock-knock jokes. (I'd like to be in on the joke! It looks like fun.) Michael Thomson did a really good job of explaining how boys use humor to gain status with their friends and in their social groups and he even gave some good advise to people like me who just don't get it.
I learned a lot from this book and I highly recommend it to anyone who is occasionally baffled by boys - small or big ones.
There is nothing wrong with my son.......2007-01-25
After another unpleasant meeting with my 9 year-old's teacher, my husband and I began to feel thoroughly discouraged and worried. I decided to do some research, came across this book, and nearly wept with relief.
Our current school system is dominated by women who fail to understand the psychology of boys. Prior to having sons, I believed that boys were rambunctious and agressive due to socialization. Like most parents, I learned otherwise; boys are different - and this does not make them bad. I am tired of teachers saying the word "boys" while rolling their eyes, as if being a boy implies the existence of some inherent defect. It's insulting, unfair, and serves to seriously damage our sons' chances of doing well academically. Boys are in an educational crisis - and it's a manufactured one.
If you have a son who kicks over the neighbour's snowman, climbs on the roof of the school, falls off his chair in class, gets into fights on the playground, annoys his teachers, blurts things out, and is generally considered a "problem", chances are, he's absolutely normal. Our intolerance to the energy of boys has led to millions of male children being medicated. It's an outrage, and parents need to confront the school systems and their attempts to feminize the male population. They can't run, they can't jump, they can't be competitive. They're supposed to act like girls, all quiet and co-operative, and when they don't - out with the ritalin.
Here's something I learned: Our son has never been allowed a toy gun, and yet he draws them constantly, tries to find books on guns in the library, chews his toast into the shape of a pistol, etc. His teacher was concerned, and called us in for a meeting about it.
This is a child who does not play video games, watch violence on tv, and is encouraged to be kind and compassionate. But there he is, drawing pictures of gangsters with machine guns. This book explained that it's a pretty normal thing. Our son got in trouble at school and lied to us about it. Again, fairly typical.
Our son is easily distracted - why? Because of "co-operative learning" where kids' desks are all shoved together. This works for GIRLS, not boys! I requested an alternative seating arrangement.
If you're worried about your son, you must read this book. It has changed my life. By the way, I'm a highschool teacher - I look at my male students completely differently now. Boys are lovely - there was a time when we knew this. This books has made me fall inlove with my boys all over again.
This Book is Sexist and Stereotypes Fathers as Incompetent.......2006-10-11
I thought this book was written by a woman as I first skimmed the pages, due to the sexist, stereotyped, and biased comments about men and boys within. I then saw the title page, and the author's (male) name.
I was intrigued until upon reading further I discovered that the "author" admits to having hired a woman named Teresa Barker to put the book together because he has "the organizational skills of an average eighth grade boy."
I had already drawn my conclusions about the author's bias before learning this. The author views boys . . . AND MEN . . . as infererior to woman emotionally and intellectually. If that supports you own biases, thenthis book is a love-fest for you. If not, I don't know where to direct you on this subject . . .
pg 7. "Finally if a man has struggled inarticulately in the past to explain himself . . . "
pg 12 . . . [men] have not had enough practice dealing with the energy level and willfulness of of small children. Women have . . . "
pg 20 - "In the boy realm, arrogance is a performance art . . . girls are more likely to act in a non-threatening way."
Michael Thompson....not his greatest work.......2006-09-05
This book was a good information book to read. It did not offer the type of insights that I Was looking for when I bought this book.
Useful, practical, inspring advice!.......2006-03-27
What a wondeful book! I have 3 sons (aged 15, 11 and 4 years) and so many of the questions and answers here were relevant to things they are doing or have done and how I have felt about things. I found the advice very sensible and up to date and reassuring.
Book Description
A young boy doesn't come with instructions. He just comes with boundless energy, spirit, and love, all waiting to be shaped. And one of the powerful forces in the shaping is the wish to grow up to be "just like Dad," who was himself a young boy once. With apologies to mothers and daughters, there's really nothing like the primal bond between a son and his father.
A little book of wisdom for fathers on raising boys, Father to Son is a guide to the joys and responsibilities of fatherhood. Divided into sections covering the different stages of a boy's life, the book features one succinct lesson per page--some lighthearted, some serious, all supported by the book's strong moral backbone. Here is the importance of passing along skills-- "Show him how to eat an Oreo." "Show him how to put a baseball in a new glove and wrap a belt around it." Of setting a good example--"Be home for dinner." "Do push-ups together." Of staying involved-- "Race him. You'll never forget the day he beats you." "Be sure to meet his girlfriends." Being flexible--"If his favorite thing about organized sports is the uniform, let him wear it to school." Offering guideposts, material and intangible-- "Hang a punching bag in the garage." "Put a computer in his room. Never a TV." "Never tell him boys don't cry-ask him why he's crying." Nurturing responsibility-- "Make him understand that even a small lie makes him a liar." "Teach him the joy of finishing a job." And instilling wonder--"Teach him the joys of staring at the moon." "Encourage him to go barefoot."
Customer Reviews:
insipid, trite, and hackneyed.......2007-03-12
From the description, we thought this was a book of advice and insights. Instead, it is a little book of mundane aphorisms, one sentence nuggets of advice of uneven quality. The book makes a lot of outdated assumptions about gender roles and the nature of fathers and sons and their relationship. We're disappointed, since there aren't many books on the subject. We're sorry we purchased it, even at the sale price of $1.50, and now we will just give it away. Don't waste your money, or your time.
Father to Son: Life Lessons on Raising a Boy.......2007-02-14
This little pocket size book is full of wonderful little gems. It is a great book for a first time father or a father of any age.
Light but fun.......2006-06-26
I thought this was a worthwhile purchase. Everyone in the family got a kick out of reading it.
Great Pocket Book.......2006-06-19
At first, I thought this was a silly gift my husband received when I was pregnant with our son. I decided to take a look at it, and its such a beautiful book. It has very simple ideas and advice, but very important life lessons.
The whole book is full of common sense ideas, but they are things that get overlooked and forgotten. Every dad should be forced to read this as part of soon-to-be-daddy training.
Excellent Guide for Practical Matters!.......2005-08-10
This is by far one of the best books for a new Dad or soon to be Dad! It is simple and practical, and reminds us that the simple things in life are the important things to a child!
***** (5 STARS!)
Book Description
A practical, informative guide for mothers on raising secure, healthy sons.
Customer Reviews:
Strong Mothers, Strong Sons: Raising the Next Generation of Men.......2007-09-10
Ann Caron is a great writer, with great information. Wish I had had this knowledge when my sons were entering puberty. Must reading for parents of sons and daughters.
Helped me raise a super son!.......2007-06-14
I read this book when it was new over 10 years ago. My son is now 24 years old.
I raised him alone because his father was an absent parent (aka - an alcoholic). To top off our disadvantage, I was a teen parent. But, I was a strong mother and indeed raised a strong son. He has excelled both in college (graduated summa cum laude from a top west coast university) and is now very successful as an IT manager/consultant. And, he is an extremely caring yet mature young man. He respects females in the work place as well as all people in general. He isn't afraid to take on tough business challenges and see through these challenges to the end.
I am blessed to have a son that is someone to be very proud of. I am very fortunate that he still comes to me for support and openly communicates to me about his life. This book helped provide me with simply the "guts" to be a strong mother when it was most needed during his teen years and into his college years.
I advise all moms toughing it out alone to read this book and find the bravery to be the best you can be for your son. Let him experience life, but guide him with an open and loving, but firm hand. It will pay off!
A useful book for raising a teenage son........2006-02-09
I found this book to be useful in understanding why my son was already entering teenage rebellion at the age of 12. The advice to give more independence while staying in charge on things that REALLY matter was invaluable. I convinced my husband to participate in this process which was not easy. The result was excellent and within one year he was in control of his own behavior without constant supervision. He is now 18 and we never had any major difficulties during his teenage. I do not know why a male reviewer was so negative about the book but I totally disagree. The book is based on research and confirmed by information in other books that were published somewhat later (written by men such as Michael Gurian's "The Wonder of Boys")
Stick to girls!.......2001-08-05
In attempting to better understand my son after divorce, I read this, as one of perhaps a dozen books that were recommended. In a short summary, and as a divorced dad, I believe this author should stick to what she understands, girls and their mothers. There are much better books if you are interested in understanding how boys grow, and how to help them mature.
Strong Mothers, Strong Sons.......2000-02-02
This book was a lifesaver in my dealing with my 13-year old son who seemed determined to take out all his frustrations and anger at his parents' divorce on me. Understanding why he is the way he is and what is normal and not normal has helped me enjoy being around him more. This book gave me the strength to stand my ground with my son who is constantly pushing the limits to the max. I wish my ex-husband would read the book because I think Caron's insight into boys is invaluable, regardless of whether you are a mom or dad.
Book Description
The most popular question any pregnant woman is asked — aside from "When are you due?" — has got to be "Are you having a girl or a boy?" When author Andrea Buchanan, already a mom to a little girl, was pregnant with her second child, she marveled at the response of friends and total strangers alike: "Boys are wonderful," "Boys are so much better than girls," "Boys love their mothers differently than girls." This constant refrain led her to explore the issue herself, with help from her fellow writers and moms, many of whom had had the same experience.
The result is It's A Boy, a wide-ranging, often-humorous, and honest collection of essays about the experience of mothering boys. Taking on topics like aggression, parenting a teenage boy, and wishing for a daughter but getting a son, It's A Boy explores what it's like to mother sons and how that experience may be different, but no less satisfying, than mothering girls.
Customer Reviews:
Women are scary.......2007-10-11
Reviewing the reviews-- wow -- as a son-- these comments from women are really scary , as are the bizarre, anti-male topics mentioned in the book-- wanting a girl, but getting a boy; "dealing with " boys "otherness", " prenatal boy apprehension".
Why don't you ladies here-- and apparently the author /editor of this compedium--- abort a boy when you determine his gender and are disappointed.
Apparently, from this sample, there are a lot of you women out there. I find it disgusting.
Women of the last 40 years sure are a misandrist lot--- can you imagine men publishing a book on their disappointmenr at being informed "Its a girl"-- worrying about her "otherness" and having "girl apprehension". They would be accused of sexism and denounced all about.
But here we have women with these strange thoughts about coping with a male child-- we are the same species, you know, remember your father-- he was maleetc.
Maybe you gals can try parthogenesis or asexual cloning, so you can only have girls and eventually the world will look like you want it to-- all female.
This book and these female reviewers--and apparently a lot of women-- make this man wonder why they are so anti-male that they enter a state of depression and obsess about what to do with this strange "other". Yuch
If you have a boy, you have to read this.......2007-08-02
I heard about this book from a book review in the Brain, Child magazine. I checked it out from the library. After reading about 80% of the stories, I knew that I owed the writers and editor something for bringing this collection of well written and honest stories to me. So I bought it. I have a daughter and a son, and this book helped me to make sense of how I was feeling differently about mothering a son vs a daughter. These writers validated those feelings and gave me words to express them. My son was about 10 months old when I bought it, and I am sure I will reread many of the essays again as he gets older and my experience with raising a boy grows. I would loan out this book, but I'm afraid I won't get it back again!
a thoughtful read for mom's expecting a son.......2007-06-27
I bought this for my best friend just after she had her son. She read it immediately, loved it and then sent it back to me when I found out I was expecting a boy. It was great. I was so certain I was having a girl that when the ultrasound showed otherwise, it took me a bit of time to reframe. This book really helped with that. Many of the authors write about their fear, surprise or wonder about having a little boy. Others knew a son was just what they wanted or was meant for them. Reading pieces from so many different perspectives was immensely helpful for me in preparing for the birth of my son who is the light of my life. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone!
Loved it. .......2007-06-18
As a woman (and as one who grew up among women and very few male influences), a writer, a soon-to-be mother of a son, I found this anthology charming, enlightening, and validating. It not only helped me to not feel so alone in some of the emotions I've been feeling since the big reveal on the ultrasound, but it also gave me much to look forward to in raising my son. A great book for parents everywhere.
Great Perspective.......2007-01-10
I've passed this book along to all of my friends who have sons. It is a super quick, light read with lots of humor and new ways of looking at things for those of us raising little men.
Amazon.com
The first thing you'll learn in this book, which details how Earl Woods raised his son, Tiger, to become probably the greatest golfer who ever lived, is that your child will never be another Tiger Woods. Tiger is a prodigy in the sense that Mozart was a prodigy. But even if your child has completely ordinary abilities, Training a Tiger shows how to pass on your love for a sport to your child. Most of the book is specific to golf, but the same lessons can be applied to any activity.
Book Description
An educator, top-ranked college ball player and Green Beret who served in Vietnam, Earl Woods reveals the instruction and training secrets that went into raising a child who might be the greatest golfer ever. His teaching method starts with the simplest swings: Putting, chipping and pitching, and doesn't introduce the full swing until the basics have been mastered. The book includes dozens of games and competitions to make golf fun and interesting, teaches mental toughness and emphasizes skills, posture, balance, set-up and grip.
There are also some subtler points for parents to consider: when and how to introduce golf (or any sport) to their child; how to lay the groundwork for open communication; and how to cultivate the right attitude toward competition. Through an intelligent mix of instruction, humor and common sense, Training a Tiger helps parents everywhere lead their kids to love the game, and to play it with confidence, patience, proficiency and passion.
Customer Reviews:
Does not work.......2007-06-01
I bought this book to help me take care of my new baby tiger, Thundercat. All I found was a bunch of crap about golf and black people. In the end, the tiger died. I tried to stuff a golf club down it's gullet but nothing happened except it threw up all over me and went to sleep. Overall, I do not recommend this book if you care about your new animal friend or are an animal lover AT ALL.
reply to reader with no brains from June 17th 2003.......2006-05-04
This moron is a jealous racist. Everything he said is wrong. He should know what he is talking about before he speaks. Earl never asked Tiger to go golfing with him. The only way he would take him is if Tiger asked to go. Tiger is Stanford educated, insanely rich, the best golfer in history, never been in trouble and calls his dad his best friend. I would give anything to be sure my kids were half the person Tiger is. If you read this book and got nothing from it I feel bad for your kids. By the way he is the best dressed person on tour!!
A plus book.......2005-09-05
This book is great! Anytime you can read about wonderful parenting, it is a highllight in your day. As the mother of 2 boys I can only hope to be so self sacrificing as Earl Woods. Whether you are into golf or not, all children could benefit from more attention from their parents. This book is about putting the child first and helping them make their dreams a reality. While so many children watch tv all day, it sure is refreshing to read about a parent who demonstrates the real meaning of parenting-take the time to train the children up right and they will end up as you trained them. Earl is truly an inspiration. Thank you for writing the book if you read this email Mr. Woods.
Good Book.......2003-10-20
In Pete McDaniel's, Training a Tiger, Tiger Woods shows you basics and in depth steps to golf. This book will show you how to start a your child in golf, equipment, putting, short game, driving, practicing, and in to mental mechanics. The authors purpose for writing this is to show young kids how to golf. It is worth reading if you want to improve your golf game or your childs.
Nothing but a "stage dad".......2003-06-18
Well, I think the fact there are only three reviews of this book before mine pretty much sums up how popular it is.
As I write this, there is a show on TV called "American Junior" -- a take-off on "American Idol" in which children with prodigious singing voices try to become stars. The most striking feature of the show, however, is not the kids' talents but their parents' obsessions. They are trying to achieve vicariously, through their kid's success, the fame and fortune they were never able to achieve on their own. I think you probably get my analogy to Earl Woods.
By the way: I have a point to make about Tiger that has nothing to do with this book, really, but that I want to get off my chest. It has to do with his wardrobe. He is in serious need of a fashion makeover. Here is his customary garb:
1. "Poofy" (i.e., baggy-legged) pants. The effect is a little bit odd.
2. A standard golf shirt -- but with the top, collar button fastened. This is a distinctly child-like feature; normally the only people with top button fastened are little boys dressed by their moms.
3. A cap that is more rounded than that of other players; if you removed the bill and attached blades to the top, it would be a perfect propellor beanie.
What I'm getting at is that his working clothes are childish. When combined with his natural baby face, the effect is comical. I predict that 20 years from now, film of Tiger in his 20s will look as silly as film of golfers in the 1970's with their tight, plaid pants, wide white belts, and super-sized lapels on their shirts.
So Tiger -- please come up with a new look on the course to go with your fabulous game.
Book Description
The challenge for mothers of sons is to realize that because we do not share a sexual identity, that because we have not grown up in a male body, we cannot presume to understand everything there is to know about our sons' worlds.
-- Patricia Stevens
In this absolutely superb collection of mothers' personal narratives, some classic writers, as well as exciting new voices, ponder the conflicts and joys of raising sons. Patricia Stevens's Between Mothers and Sons is the first anthology in which women writers attempt to answer the question that all mothers have contemplated in the course of mothering the opposite sex: "Who is this male child who came out of my body?"
After all, the mother/son relationship is the foundation of all male/female connections. Yet in our culture, it's a relationship that has been far less closely observed than the relationship between mother and daughter.
From the earliest days of nursing to the good-byes as college and adulthood appear on the threshold, from adoptive families to biracial, from Native American to African-American mothers, these pages cover a broad range of experience. These writers collectively explore the delights and frustrations, the deep and often-conflicted emotions they feel in their roles as mothers to their male children.
"Diamonds are forever, but love can easily get lost....I picture the broken pieces of my heart inside me like the shrapnel of a war." In Jo-Ann Mapson's heartbreaking "Navigating the Channel Islands," we read of the intense pain that appears in the wake of her adolescent son's rebellion. On a more comical note, Deborah Galyan's "Watching Star Trek with Dylan" is a must for any mother who has wondered about a young son's love of things mechanical. And Valerie Monroe's bittersweet "Feet" will touch every mother on the planet: "As I unwrapped the slippers and carefully placed them on this rug, I thought, they're his feet, after all. And step by step, they will take him away from me."
Between Mothers and Sons resoundingly, if unflinchingly, celebrates this new journey that we are all making with our boys.
Customer Reviews:
Something here for everyone.......2005-03-07
As with many short story / essay collections, it is hard to review the book overall as the individual contributions are uneven.
In this case, almost all are moving and at least some will touch a heartstring (or raw nerve!) in every mother.
Many play the feminist angle, which I felt may be somewhat misplaced in a mother-son relationship.
A couple I'd already read in other collections (e.g. `Toddler'), including one of my personal favourites, Jonathan Bing by Priscilla Leigh MacKinley, about a mother who lost her sight during childbirth and has to adapt to becoming blind and the responsibility of responsibility of caring for a new baby at the same time ... the thought alone makes me shudder, but she writes about it beautifully and it was a joy to read again.
All-in-all, I enjoyed this book and would recommend it.
Memorable reading, great range of experiences.......2000-01-22
Each in her own way, the writers in this collection make complex connections -- with their sons and with readers. There's a great range of experiences here for the reader who wants to concentrate on the mother-son relationship rather than on family relationships in general.
I sometimes cried and more often laughed -- but I also thought about my female friends and their sons, and agreed with what I was reading -- then remembered my mother and sisters and their sons, and argued back -- considered my male friends, and understood more than I had before.
The authors had some great stories to tell, and the quality of the writing fully repaid a second (and for some essays, a third) reading. The author's own very moving contribution was my favorite, but months after reading the book, there are many moments I remember.
Incredible.......1999-12-04
I bought Between Mothers and Sons for myself as a Mother's Day gift when my son was 3 months old. I was moved viscerally by the essays contained in this book. Although I do agree with the reviewer from Wisconsin that the collective voice of these essays is limited, I feel that the emotional tumult felt and expressed by these very talented women is universal.
Great writing but limited perspective.......1999-07-14
Stevens has gathered a well-written and insightful collection of essays by very talented women. The challenges of raising sons are presented in sometimes poignant, frequently amusing, and generally thought-provoking ways. But I kept wishing for some other perspectives. All of the women whose writings are collected here seem to be on a single page. They're all feminists; few get any child-rearing help or wisdom from the boys' fathers; most seem to have no spiritual foundation (LaMott is an obvious exception). I would have liked to read a more balanced collection of authors.
Book Description
When beloved Alabama football coach Gene Stallings's son was born with Down syndrome and a serious heart defect, doctors predicted he wouldn't live to see his first birthday and urged Coach Stallings and his wife to institutionalize him.But for Gene and Ruth Ann that was not an option.--Johnny quickly won the hearts and adoration of the Stallings family and everyone who took the time to know him, and, proving the doctors wrong by living a full life, he has become a vital and important part of his father's life and career.With intimate glimpses of family life and thrilling football anecdotes, Another Season is brimming with poignant lessons about defying the odds and finding joy in every moment.
Customer Reviews:
Good reading.......2007-08-10
I really enjoyed this book. A very moving story involving a father's love and football. You can't get any better than that! Great summer reading!
Another Season.......2006-08-17
I live in alabama and even kind of like alabama football so when we had to read it for summer reading i thought i would like it...i absolutly hated it!!! You could so tell it wasn't written by a pro writer i mean it jumped around from different dates and although i loved how inspirational it was with johnny gene stallings seemed kind of self centered and every time the family was happy moved. i hated how there was no time line and years would pass and then he would go every minute of the next day. i thought it was good how they were so religous and i liked reading it but it is not a book i would really reccomend to anybody just because there are more inspirational books and just better books!! Luv Ya!!
Rich, moving, honest...a life-changing read .......2006-08-09
There are a lot of great books out there you can read and be entertained in the process. A few of those books will even linger in your memory for awhile after you've finished them. It's more rare to read a book that really touches your heart and mind and provokes a change in your life.
ANOTHER SEASON is one of those very extraordinary books that takes hold of the reader's attention in a powerful way that transcends language. It's certainly a great read--at times, even very enjoyable, as Coach Stallings describes various triumphs on the football field. But, at times, it's also painful, and painfully honest...maybe even gut-wrenching. One admires Coach Stallings for his candor and vulnerability; one envies the deep love between he and his son, John Mark.
Through it all, we get a moving portrait of a caring, honorable, courageous family and get a glimpse into a father-son relationship that sets an example of what any father or son could hope for in terms of love, devotion, faithfulness, and friendship. John Mark Stallings is a heroic young man born with Down Syndrome. He has defied all odds, surviving and living with it, and touching millions of lives in the process. This young man has taught so many people how to live a life filled with meaning, purpose, and love, just like his famous daddy.
This story is personal to me in many ways: I have a close relative who has lived with a particular developmental challenge ever since her birth, and we love her dearly--she adds great richness to our family, despite her difficulties. It's also personal to me because I am a life-long Alabama Crimson Tide football fan, and I lived in Alabama during that glorious 1992-1993 National Championship season. I can tell you that everybody in our state, no matter what football team they followed, was and is a big fan of Mr. John Mark Stallings.
RECOMMENDATION: I cannot say enough good about this book. It will appeal to a broad range of readership; certainly, football fans will enjoy it, but also families and friends who have faced similar challenges as the Stallings family has will find much encouragement and inspiration here. John Mark, you're our hero. We love you, buddy. God bless the Stallings family, and thanks, Coach, for this deeply moving book.
A solid -- if difficult -- story, told by a solid man.......2004-05-26
I received this book unexpectedly after making a donation to my alma mater, from which Coach Stallings' daughters also graduated. Until then, I didn't even know the story had been written. The book fascinated me from many angles -- as a teacher, as the sister of someone born with a congenital handicap (whose parents were likewise advised to put him in an institution), as a reader of this genre of literature, and most of all, as someone who as a kid knew and adored John Mark Stallings.
Many have commented on the way the author plainly tells his early disappointments, fears, and frustrations at having his only son be born with such apparent limitations. I, too, initially felt uncomfortable. However, I came to admire Mr. Stallings' willingness to expose to scorn the ideas that he had back in the 1960s and 70s, ideas that over the course of the book he does slowly show to have been mistaken. By the end of the book it is clear he realizes that people born with Down syndrome are far more capable and have a more meaningful life than was dreamed of at the time John Mark was born. The narrative also puts into perspective the origins of those ideas.
The end result is an honest portrait by an unfailingly honest man, and the book shows the strong and loving relationship between Johnny and his father today.
-- Andrea
A real-life story about football.......2000-01-03
This is an autobiography by a person who has had a highly successful career in college and pro football but knows the world does not start and end with sports. The raising of the Stallings' son Johnny, who has Down syndrome, is the real focus here. The two stories, football and family, are intertwined, as the authors never lose sight of the family even while describing the high and low points of Gene Stallings' coaching career. Indeed, Johnny as he grows shares in his father's work. The book gives insight into both the game and the people in it and in the Coach's family. These people are brought alive for the reader. It is the best book `about' football I have read.
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Books Index
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She Calls Me Daddy
What a Daughter Needs From Her Dad: How a Man Prepares His Daughter for Life
Tender Warrior: Every Man's Purpose, Every Woman's Dream, Every Child's Hope
King Me: What Every Son Wants and Needs from His Father
Rocking the Roles: Building a Win-Win Marriage
