In the face of many sociologists and scholars who strongly declare the contrary, Gurian claims a biological basis for many male behavioral traits. In A Fine Young Man, he employs convincing data from scientific studies on neurological development to assert that female and male brains have significant differences, and that testosterone plays an important role in male development and behavior.
But A Fine Young Man offers far more than theory. Gurian's arguments are firmly rooted in reality, and he offers specific suggestions for typical family dilemmas. He breaks down the stages of development into preadolescence, early, middle, and late adolescence; discusses education and the role of the media; and suggests ways to keep aggression (caused in part by the testosterone flooding the adolescent male brain) from becoming violence. In a social sense, Gurian says, adolescent boys are our most undernourished population, and A Fine Young Man encapsulates his hope that our neglected young men receive the nurturing they need. --Ericka Lutz
*bunk" all the traits of monstes which have to be controlled by
channeling boys even further into this behavior by saying it's
"normal".In REAL life there are plenty of quiet,well mannered
boys and sex crazed rocus girls.This book has nothing to do with
reality,and is based on Gurian's subjective beliefs about
boys or as he puts it "male brains".Brains are brains and they
vary from person to person,once more he doesn't seem to understand their is more to a ^BEING^ than mere biology.
People can teach their children,both boys and girls that they
have self controll and will to succeed.Both girls as well as
boys need information which will lead them toward success in
life,not just boys.Much weight to succeed is put on boys in
his realm.This ideal of 'masculine' *gag* perfection is not good for boys,because it's a ONE SIZE FITS ALL type of
mentality.
What he's doing to kids and also adults is criminal.
A Clinical Psychologist's View.......2002-04-06
I find Gurian's cross-cultural perspective fascinating, and he does a better job in this book than in "The Wonder of Boys" of suggesting actions that can be taken and changes that can be made to help our young men. As a mentor and a clinical psychologist who works with children and their families, I see far too many boys trying to figure out how to become men with little or no input from men. Growing up just happens as boys grow older, but maturing is another matter; maturing or developing into adulthood requires guidance and/or examples to follow. Mothers do all they can, but boys need men they respect who will teach them how to become men, or at least lead by example. This is highly recommended for mentors, educators, and parents.
Good but left me longing for more.......2001-07-21
I have 2 boys 12 and 14. I hunger for books on this subject. I liked this book better than others. I chaff at the sterotypes necessary in this sort of book although Gurian handled this issue gracefully. The book is dense on theory and philosophy and more articulate and complete and thought provoking than most. I liked his list of characteristics and attributes of the fine young man. The sections on practical hints, while much more complete than most other books on the subject could certainly bear some fleshing out especially for parents who not are well connected with adequate male models. It made me grateful I have a great husband and a circle of good friends.
A practical book substantiated through scientific research.......2000-08-17
One of the best features of this book is the fact that Michael Gurian. having lived in other cultures, researches his material through the scientific process aas well as by investigating other cultures in how they relate to boys. In so doing Gurian discovers some common elements and some differences. Some of these differences are surprising and offer our own culture something to thnink about. It is hard to focus on what is good about this book because one would have to summarize all its chapters. Perhaps a strong element of "A Fine Young Man" is the structure of those chapters. Guriam presents the thesis of the chapter. He presents cross-cultural references, scientific reseach and personal histories. He then offers some practical "how-to's". For those of us who work with boys, especially adolescents, this practical aspect is quite important. While Gurian's style makes this "easy" reading, one finds oneself pausing numerous times and talking to oneself about what one has just read. Gurian inspires the reader to bring "his" own life to the process. I thought this book would be a releif from the spiritual and theological reading I have been doing. Yet I found myself reflecting frequently on Gurian's insights, the implications of the research he discovered and the stories he presents. I found myself journaling about these times.
This book has solid practical value, but it also has a deep spiritual challenge to those of us to want to help our young men grow into healthy and faithful adults.
Customer Reviews:
Very Insightful Reading.......2007-06-13
I purchased this book because of another family member (not immediate) experiencing serious issues with her parents, as well as a close friend of mine trying to break free from a very emotionally dependent parent. The book clearly spells out the kinds of problems children endure because of emotionally dependent parents and gives great advice on how to break and stay free. It is very insighful reading because it is written by someone who has been there and lived that. I highly reccomend it.
Invaluable.......2006-08-30
Everyone should read this book. There is so much information in it about how healthy families behave that it would be useful even for those who have not been subject to an extremely close relationship with a parent.
Don't be put off by the title. "Emotional Incest" sounds strong and you might be tempted to believe that it doesn't apply to you. Read the back cover and decide for yourself.
Good Insights - Not enopugh practical advice.......2005-08-21
Good insights into the nature of emotional incest. Well written. Definitely worth a read, but falls short on advice as to WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT.
The right level of detail and advice.......2005-07-21
I found this book to be a good compromise between scientific explanation and practical advice. I would buy it again.
Emotional and REAL!.......2004-11-29
This book is an important addition to the collection of books out there that exist on sexual abuse. Even moreso are the examples of how a mother can be sexually abusive in covert ways unlike fathers who tend to manifest their abuse overtly. This book along with Ken Adam's book, Silently Seduced, are the bible of Covert Incest.
It is easy to say covert incest does not exist since it is subtle, indirect and is about what you don't see, but the victims of this all feel it and it is very real!
Amazon.com
Just what does it take to raise a responsible, compassionate child in a society whose overbearing media celebrates and encourages violence, promiscuity, and gluttonous materialism? Dr. William Sears and his wife, Martha, a nurse, understand that instilling a moral code in one's children is among the most daunting, yet vital, of all parenting tasks. In The Successful Child, they've marvelously distilled 34 years' experience parenting their eight children and treating thousands of kids in their pediatric office--along with facts from recent scientific studies--into this collection of constructive, reassuring guidelines for nurturing children into healthy, well-adjusted young adults.
As Dr. Sears told his children, "Your success in life ... will not be measured by the money you make or the degrees you earn, but rather by the number of persons whose lives are better because of what you did." To that end, Sears advocates what he has coined "attachment parenting," or AP, the practice of listening to your parenting instincts and being sensitive to your baby's needs (such as by quickly responding to cries; by breastfeeding on cue, not bottle-feeding on a schedule; and by co-sleeping). By having his needs met immediately, Sears says the child learns to trust adults, and he in turn mirrors this behavior by acting sensitively to the needs of others later on.
Sears says, "It's never too late to try the AP approach with a child," but The Successful Child definitely will be most useful to parents who've raised their child according to AP guidelines through infancy and toddlerhood. Those who haven't may shudder when Sears writes that the developmental stage from birth to one year most influences a child's future success "because that's when caregivers leave the most lasting impressions on a child's brain." Nevertheless, the Searses have packed in a plethora of sensible tips here for all parents, including 16 ways to teach children how to make wise choices, 12 strategies for guiding spiritual development, seven questions to ponder when a teen wants to start working part-time, and a dozen ways to boost your child's intellectual abilities, such as by offering a diet high in brain-building omega-3 fatty acids. But the most important thing parents can do for their kids, the Searses say, is to hold high expectations: "Let her know that you expect her to do her best, no less and no more, and that you will love her no matter what." --Erica Jorgensen
Book Description
Just what does it take to raise a responsible, compassionate child in asociety whose overbearing media celebrates and encourages violence, promiscuity,and gluttonous materialism? Dr. William Sears and his wife, Martha, a nurse,understand that instilling a moral code in one's children is among the mostdaunting, yet vital, of all parenting tasks. In The Successful Child,they've marvelously distilled 34 years' experience parenting their eightchildren and treating thousands of kids in their pediatric office--along withfacts from recent scientific studies--into this collection of constructive,reassuring guidelines for nurturing children into healthy, well-adjusted youngadults.As Dr. Sears told his children, "Your success in life ... will not be measuredby the money you make or the degrees you earn, but rather by the number ofpersons whose lives are better because of what you did." To that end, Searsadvocates what he has coined "attachment parenting," or AP, the practice oflistening to your parenting instincts and being sensitive to your baby's needs(such as by quickly responding to cries; by breastfeeding on cue, notbottle-feeding on a schedule; and by co-sleeping). By having his needs metimmediately, Sears says the child learns to trust adults, and he in turn mirrorsthis behavior by acting sensitively to the needs of others later on. Sears says, "It's never too late to try the AP approach with a child," butThe Successful Child definitely will be most useful to parents who'veraised their child according to AP guidelines through infancy and toddlerhood.Those who haven't may shudder when Sears writes that the developmental stagefrom birth to one year most influences a child's future success "because that'swhen caregivers leave the most lasting impressions on a child's brain."Nevertheless, the Searses have packed in a plethora of sensible tips here forall parents, including 16 ways to teach children how to make wise choices, 12strategies for guiding spiritual development, seven questions to ponder when ateen wants to start working part-time, and a dozen ways to boost your child'sintellectual abilities, such as by offering a diet high in brain-buildingomega-3 fatty acids. But the most important thing parents can do for their kids,the Searses say, is to hold high expectations: "Let her know that you expect herto do her best, no less and no more, and that you will love her no matter what."--Erica Jorgensen
Customer Reviews:
Raising a child.......2007-06-27
Becoming a mother has made me remind my childhood, all the goods and bads. All those special moments I won't forget, and all those other moments I'd prefer not remembering. It has made me relive the past to see why I am the way I am. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to be who I am, but I could've turned out better!!!
This amazing book tells you how children are affected, positively or negatively, with the behavior of their parents and their surroundings. With this book, I am finally understanding why, for example, I like to study, why I don't like to hug people, or why I didn't really obey my parents, etc. With astonishing simplicity it explains it all. I'm so grateful I could read this book now that my baby's small, so I can do everything that's in my hands (and in my husbands too) to help her turn out well and be a successful child.
Must have book.......2007-01-05
Great book for all us parents who do not like the "cry-it-out" method!!!
Excellent Book!.......2006-03-20
I really am enjoying this book by Martha Sears, just as I have the other Sears books. What a wonderful way to help encourage our children to become the most successful people they can be!
Insightful, but don't believe everything you read.......2006-02-22
I love and agree with a LOT of what the authors have to say in "The Successful Child". However, the authors really push the idea that a baby must be breastfed and carried in a sling 24/7 in order to be "connected" to his or her parents. I don't buy that. I don't practice what the authors call Attachment Parenting, and my son and I are extremely connected.
One other thing that bothers me about the book is that in some of the stories it is so obvious that the author is lying. Many of the anecdotes are clearly made up. For example, in one of his anecdotes Dr. Sears is talking about how he was watching a couple and their toddler son in his office waiting room one day, and he watched them long enough to be able to tell that they were excellent parents, and went over to tell them such and have a conversation with them about their parenting. How many doctors do you know who have time to sit in the waiting room watching patients who are waiting to see them, and carry out conversations? NONE. If I had been in a waiting room for a while, and I caught the doctor I was paying to see standing around IN THE WAITING ROOM watching instead of taking care of appointments, I would be very upset and would probably never visit there again. This is just one example of instances in which I think the authors are flat-out lying.
Most of what's in this book (aside from the repetetive AP talk, which gets old quick) is advice on how to practice positive parenting. If that is what you're interested in, then definitely give it a try. I checked this book out from the library but will probably buy it because there are a lot of ideas and methods in it that I don't want to forget, and that I have used on my son since reading it. I especially like the sections on sexuality, communication, and compassion.
naturally disciplining.......2005-07-20
I am from India and I am a product of attatchment parenting(almost all Indians are)...I now have a 2 month old baby girl...I agree with every aspect of Dr Sears philosophy about parenting.....As a kid,teenager and then a youth,I have always felt considering my parents' opinion before taking important decisions.It is true that I have not done many things I wanted to bcoz of fear of hurting my parents' feelings..looking back,I don't feel my freedom or independence was questioned in those times.In fact,they turned out to be good for me.But still,I disagree with my mom's opinions on almost anything and I have my own ways too.I believe attatchment parenting is what is natural and that is how to raise caring,sensitive children who have moral values and will strive towards the bettering of the world they live in.
Average customer rating:
- useful and thought-provoking
- Ridiculous
- Dangerous territory
- Good book, good points, more people should read.
- Useful but not forceful
|
The Case Against Homework: How Homework Is Hurting Our Children and What We Can Do About It
Sara Bennett , and
Nancy Kalish
Manufacturer: Crown
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover
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General
| Parenting
| Parenting & Families
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School-Age Children
| Parenting
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Similar Items:
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The Homework Myth
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The End of Homework: How Homework Disrupts Families, Overburdens Children, and Limits Learning
-
The Battle Over Homework: Common Ground for Administrators, Teachers, and Parents
-
What Does it Mean to Be Well-Educated?: And Other Essays on Standards, Grading, and other Follies
-
Closing the Book on Homework: Enhancing Public Education and Freeing Family Time (Teaching/Learning Social Justice)
ASIN: 0307340171
Release Date: 2006-08-29 |
Book Description
Does assigning fifty math problems accomplish any more than assigning five? Is memorizing word lists the best way to increase vocabulary—especially when it takes away from reading time? And what is the real purpose behind those devilish dioramas?
The time our children spend doing homework has skyrocketed in recent years. Parents spend countless hours cajoling their kids to complete such assignments—often without considering whether or not they serve any worthwhile purpose. Even many teachers are in the dark: Only one of the hundreds the authors interviewed and surveyed had ever taken a course specifically on homework during training.
The truth, according to Sara Bennett and Nancy Kalish, is that there is almost no evidence that homework helps elementary school students achieve academic success and little evidence that it helps older students. Yet the nightly burden is taking a serious toll on America’s families. It robs children of the sleep, play, and exercise time they need for proper physical, emotional, and neurological development. And it is a hidden cause of the childhood obesity epidemic, creating a nation of “homework potatoes.”
In The Case Against Homework, Bennett and Kalish draw on academic research, interviews with educators, parents, and kids, and their own experience as parents and successful homework reformers to offer detailed advice to frustrated parents. You’ll find out which assignments advance learning and which are time-wasters, how to set priorities when your child comes home with an overstuffed backpack, how to talk and write to teachers and school administrators in persuasive, nonconfrontational ways, and how to rally other parents to help restore balance in your children’s lives.
Empowering, practical, and rigorously researched, The Case Against Homework shows how too much work is having a negative effect on our children’s achievement and development and gives us the tools and tactics we need to advocate for change.
Also available as an eBook
Customer Reviews:
useful and thought-provoking.......2007-09-03
backed up with good research and well laid-out. some people will criticise, but they may not have as much merit as this book does. either way, you should still read it, as it will make you think and not just blindly follow along with what everybody around you at the PTA is saying.
Ridiculous.......2007-07-14
There are many holes in the arguments in this book. The authors assert that practicing a skill after it has been mastered is pointless and that parents should not require children to complete math problems (or other assignments) if they feel that their child can do so adequately within the first few questions or problems. Practice keeps the skill strong. Imagine someone taking piano lessons that stops practicing. After a while they become rusty and can no longer play with the same agility as they did in the past. As for blaming teachers and policy makers...sometimes the problem isn't the educational system, it's the PARENTS. Yes, there are bad teachers out there... but there are also BAD PARENTS. I don't see this book addressing those problems. Homework, if used effectively by the teacher, child and parent can be a useful tool in aiding students in not only mastering a subject but also learning about responsibility and time management. I wonder if the authors would feel the same way if they had some experience in the field of education. I notice that neither of them do. I would also like to note that many of their "statistics" and "studies" have no citations... were this a scholarly article, it would never have been published. If you believe this book, you're setting your child up for future failure.
Dangerous territory.......2007-07-05
Although the research says there is solid evidence to prove that homework is more harmful than helpful, and I hold an Ed.D, I disagree totally with the premise of this book.How can you teach kids responsibility or good study habits when you don't give them any?If families feel that the policy of their particular school system needs work, they should get involved with school site councils and work on agreements with teachers and administrators. Everyone wins that way. Nothing is ever so one-sided that it can not be resolved to everyone's benefit.
Good book, good points, more people should read........2007-06-16
This book has a lot of truths about the uselessness of homework and the ruining of childrens' love of learning that our current education system has created.
Useful but not forceful.......2007-04-27
This is a very useful book in that it gives you step
by step advice on how to negotiate with teachers
in order to reduce the amount of homework your child gets.
I wish the authors had been more strident in their
opposition to homework,because even with all the
good advice in this book parents will need all the
encouragement they can find in the good fight against
homework. DOWN WITH HOMEWORK!
Book Description
"What's happening to me? Is my baby going to be okay?"
Maybe you're reading this guide because you've been told you're at high risk for having a premature baby. Or perhaps you're reading it after your baby's unexpectedly early birth, and you're wondering what the future holds for this incredibly tiny person. You'll find all the answers you need in this comprehensive guide for parents, the first book to fully discuss both coping with high-risk pregnancy and caring for your premature baby. Topics include:
Managing the High-Risk Pregnancy: Stalling preterm labor, coping with bed rest, medications to help the baby
The First Twenty-four Hours after Delivery: What to expect right after the baby's born, coping with insurance, and more
Your Preemie's Growth and Maturation: What to expect in terms of physical appearance and development for 24-, 28-, and 32-week preemies
The NICU: What the neonatal intensive care unit looks like, equipment and staff, and how to be a good NICU parent
Bringing Your Preemie Home: Getting your home ready, managing anxiety, feeding your preemie, keeping Dad involved
Later-Life Development: Health, growth, and cognitive and psychological development as your baby matures
Prematurity and the Special Needs Child: How to help your child lead a full life
Featuring the most up-to-date medical information available and filled with the voices of dozens of parents who've been in your shoes, this reassuring guide will help you make the best choices for yourself and your baby.
Customer Reviews:
What I wish I knew before I got pregnant........2004-06-26
My son was born prematurely June 10, 2004. My 30 week ultrasound came back showing that my ambionic fluid was low and my baby only weighed 2 lbs. 7 ounces. The next day I was sent by my OB/GYN to meet with a perinatologist. Within 15 minutes of meeting the specialist, I was told my baby would be born witihin 24 to 48 hours and was admitted to the hospital 30 minutes later. My son was born via emergency csection 27 hours later. I was 31 weeks into my pregancy. He will spend 9 weeks in neonatal ICU before he can come home. This so far, has been the hardest and most heartbreaking part of my entire pregnancy.
I am 30 years old and was diagnosed with chronic high blood pressure two years ago. This book is a step by step account of what happened to me. I developed pregnancy induced hypertension which turned into preeclampsia. None of my doctors (family practicioner or OB/GYN) told me how dangerous and high risk my pregnancy would be. I wish I knew then what this book has taught me now, it has been a real eyeopener and lifesaver.
essential for (expecting) preemie-parents.......2001-11-21
Upon hearing you're pregnant, most people will only have images of perfect babies. When hearing something is going wrong with your pregnancy, most people have no idea what to expect.
When I heared I was going to have my baby within half an hour, at 26 weeks of pregnancy... I had no idea what was laying ahead of me.
This book prepares you on what to expect when you have a high-risk pregnancy and takes you trough the 24 hours after delivery, your preemies growth and maturation, the neonatal unit, bringing your baby home and later-life development. There is also a part on babies with special needs and a part about when things go wrong.
From the many lonely hours I could not be with my baby, I spent many reading this book. The stories of other parents helped me survivng the nicu and the many charts and statistics helped me to get an image on what to expect.
Thank you very much for this book.
The book for a high risk pregnancy and the NICU.......2001-07-18
A very helpful book for reading during your high-risk pregnancy and when your baby is in the NICU. I did think that the anecdotes about women's experiences with terbutaline and magnesium sulfate were unnecessarily alarming. This book complemented Linden's Essential Guide for Parnets of Premature Babies nicely.
Helpful beyond words.......2001-04-30
This is THE book I wished I'd known about in advance when we developed problems later in my pregnancy. I actually think anyone expecting a baby where there is a possibility of it becoming a high-risk pregnancy (and face it, that could be any of us, right?) should read this book so that you can be prepared to be the best possible advocate for yourself and your child in the NICU and during the transition out. It will also help you understand the complexities of what goes on in the NICU so you can work well with the staff caring for your infant.
Essential reading.......2000-11-21
This book has been a God-send. Its clear, comprehensive text, helpful illustrations, and authoritative advice (the lead author is a top Houston neonatologist) is just what my husband and I needed when we found out our baby was going to be born prematurely.
We especially liked all of the stories and testimony from parents, people who have experienced the fear and uncertainty of high-risk pregnancy. Their stories are incredibly reassuring. We needed to know we weren't alone.
This book is a must-have for any parent whose pregnancy is not going as planned.
Book Description
This companion to the Juggling Act parent's book is specially aimed at kids ages 7-12. It explains divorce, new living arrangements, and other basics to help children understand what's happening in their lives. With honesty and simplicity, the authors help kids realize that divorce isn't their fault, strong emotions are okay, and families can survive difficult changes. Written to and for kids, this book is also recommended for parents, educators, counselors, and youth workers.
Customer Reviews:
Good teaching tool .......2007-09-23
I use this book as a tool for providing small group counseling for elementary students. It helps kids understand that they did not cause the divorce so they can't fix it. It helps begin discussions about feelings and concerns they may have about two houses, two families, two sets of rules and other changes that happen as a result of a divorce.
Book Description
When an adult child's marriage ends, lots of folks are hurt. The divorcing couple, of course, and their children. Until now, however, little attention has been paid to the parents of the divorcees. Temlock's examination of this sensitive topic offers parents a friendly guidebook packed with helpful information and suggestions from parents who've "been there." Her five-stage model of the divorce process for parents (Accepting the News... Rescuing Your Child... Responding to Changes... Stabilizing the Family... Refocusing and Rebuilding) will help readers to stay grounded through the emotional upheavals they'll share with their children and grandchildren. This practical manual puts an arm around the shoulder of parents of divorcing adults and supports them through the difficult days of the divorce process and its aftermath.
Customer Reviews:
Surviving Your Child's Divorce.......2007-09-11
The author, Marsha Temlock, was inspired to write this book based on personal experience. I read an article in the New York Times ("My Child's Divorce Is My Pain" September 2, 2007, also in Boston Globe) telling her story and felt I had to read this book. As divorce becomes more common and parents live longer, they are more and more involved in the breakup of their children's marriage. This is a difficult adjustment for parents who feel caught in the middle between their own need to grieve/adjust and the need to help their child. The parents find themselves mediating between the separated spouses like the author did when her son and his wife went through a divorce (in the article she said she felt "like a 'switchboard operator', letting their divorce monopolize her life.") Also difficult emotions overwhelm the parent, like the plaguing "guilt and self-flagellation" that occur when a parent sees their child's marriage suffering. But luckily, this book is full of answers and insights, from someone who has already been through this process. We can learn from the author's experiences and not make matters worse by "trying to fix or rescue the marriage or wallowing in guilt or pain." Instead this book focuses on how you can help your child and your grandchildren cope. The five stage model (Accepting the News... Rescuing Your Child... Responding to Changes... Stabilizing the Family... Refocusing and Rebuilding) is just what the doctor called for when it comes to helping your family make the best of this situation. As unfortunate as a divorce is, how you deal with it can bring your family closer (or not). This book is user-friendly, accessible, clearly written, and compassionate. I highly recommend it for any parent in this situation.
A Helpful Resource.......2007-05-02
Your Child's Divorce helps parents stay grounded through the emotional upheavals they will undergo during and after their child's divorce. Temlock's book essentially provides a five stage model of the divorce process: 1) Accepting the News, 2) Rescuing your Child, 3) Responding to Changes, 4) Stabilizing the Family, and 5) Refocusing and Rebuilding. In her heartfelt introduction, Temlock reassures parents that they can help keep the family together even in the midst of divorce; parents can strengthen their relationship with their child during and after a divorce;parents can be instruments of family renewal and regeneration; parents can and must be role models for their children and grandchildren; and parents can hasten their own recovery as they make this journey with their divorcing child. The book is a great resource.
No stone left unturned.......2006-12-14
Author Marsha Temlock does an excellent job putting an arm around parents (and grandparents) of couples who are divorcing. When I read the book, I couldn't help but think of what I put my own parents through 25 years ago (they were my current age then) when I called to say, "Mom, Dad, we're getting divorced." OUCH! Broken relationships are painful, and it's extra hard when you have to be supportive and helpful when you're hurting and fearful, too. Marsha offers great insight, a plethora of primary source interviews, thorough research, and some good old-fashioned common sense (which is something that often flies out the window when a crisis hits.)
This book is worth twice the price.
A missing topic until now.......2006-10-06
I am thankfully not in this position, but have friends who are and I bought it for them. I think it really helped them and there were no other resources that really addressed how can the parents of the divorcing adults handle the situation. Thanks Mrs. Temlock.. a very helpful book for my friends.
Rescusing the Lost.......2006-09-30
Finally, a book that truly addresses the needs of parents of divorcing children. How parents react can be critical to a resolutiion that is fair to all. Temlock provides an invaluable guide for parents, who are often over looked in divorces of their children, providing them with guidelines and tools in order to be of help to all concerned.
Book Description
A nationally syndicated columnist and conservative commentator examines the harmful effects of today's "parenting culture."
Tyrannized by "experts." Obsessed with perfection. Harried and anxious to the point of misery. Columnist and commentator Betsy Hart sees these traits in what she calls today's "parenting culture"-that is, a nation of parents who refrain from making moral judgments, who put their kids on a pedestal whether they deserve it or not, who shy away from disciplining or even criticizing when kids misbehave, and who generally cede the responsibility for making decisions, large and small, to their children. Hart argues that the consequences of this hands-off approach can be seen on the faces of dependent, wayward, and even violent children and teens-not to mention miserable moms and dads.
A mother of four, Hart presents a smart, passionate, and provocative argument for the crucial-and currently unfashionable-role of parents who lead rather than follow. From parents who insist on giving their kids a choice about everything and make excuses for their bad behavior, to those who drive their kids to excel at any endeavor and who turn to trained professionals for every problem, It Takes a Parent questions some tightly held cultural assumptions, and sheds light on the everyday concerns of parents across the nation.
This insightful, commonsense book will help shift the focus back to the role and responsibilities of parents-for guiding the character and hearts of their children, so they will grow up to be responsible adults themselves.
Customer Reviews:
A Great Book for Parents!!!.......2007-08-30
I found this book to be a good read, an encouragment and very enlightening!!! Betsy Hart does an excellent job of engaging her readers. SHe makes them think, laugh, read on and reflect on what they are doing as parents. She is candid and to the point.
I found many of her observations to be right on the mark and easy to follow. There were also a few that I would choose to not use for myself and my family. However, that is the beauty of this book! It allows it's readers the priviledge to Think for Themselves!!!
Thank you Betsy, for a book that is thought provoking and real!!! This is truly an excellent work that I have recommended, and will continue to recommend, to parents who are "Looking for a little Advice"!!!
Finally!.......2007-05-29
Finally.....geez how long did it take for soemone to write a book with the little simple things that it takes to be a parent? These ideas are a the most basic and this is a great book simply because it reminds us that we shouldn't be trying to be our kids' friend but rather a guide. I say NO to my child all the time without needing to justify it. I do NOT let my child interrupt me or an adult conversation. I do NOT let my child choose what he is having for dinner. And believe me...my life has been so much better for it. And my child is proof that a well mannered and well behaved kid is possible if there are guidelines and rules as pointed out by Mrs. Hart. Hurrah!!! for old school child rearing. We are doomed if we keep up the uber parenting methods of today.
Wish I would have read this a Long time ago..........2007-03-17
This was good stuff. I'm recommending this book to everyone I know who is trying to raise good kids. I only wish I had thought of these things myself! It was very educational for me and it "felt" right.
best book you can get for you and your child!.......2007-01-27
This book is such an important read, especially if you find yourself second guessing some of the latest trends in the parenting world.
It is an enormous breath of fresh air! It is so freeing - as a mother of three - to know that my child is not only not suffering if I'm not down on the floor playing with him all day but, in fact, will probably be much better off learning early on that the world does not revolve around him (and sometimes he may have to amuse himself or wait a minute!)
It's actually not only liberating as a parent but so obvious that these idolized "all about me" kids are just not being raised to deal/live in the real world. What's their future happiness look like? Eventually kids are going to learn it's really not all about them, and they really aren't the center of the universe, and everything they do really isn't that wonderful and that's not going to make them very happy.
A little tip I learned early on (not from betsy's book, but along the same lines): why go to every single one of your childs games,competitions etc.? especially when you may work full time and/or perhaps have more than one child (and most children have ten activities)?! many parents put so much pressure on themselves to attend every single moment of junior's life! why?! sometimes it's hard/impossible for you to be there. it also just sets up future disappointment for your child (not to mention a demanding child). better to have your child excited and happy to see you when you can make it then disappointed when you're not there...it just makes sense.
Just like the book -it just makes sense!
Common Sense & Practical.......2006-11-14
Once in awhile our newspaper would print a column of Betsy Hart ~~ and sometimes, I would agree with her comments/observations and sometimes, I didn't. When I saw this book in a bookstore, I knew that I had to get it and it was worth every penny of the sale. It is practical and common-sense ~~ which seems to be lacking sometimes among all those "experts" that write parenting books. It is a honest and forthright book ~~ Ms. Hart made no pretensions to be a psychologist or anything like that ~~ she just shared her observations on parenting and knocked out some of the more popular theories.
Kids are more resilient than we adults give them credit for ~~ and sometimes, the word "no" is more helpful than harmful and their tender psyches are not going to be permanently damaged. What would permanently damage them would be the lack of rules and discipline and expectations. She asked a vital question that stuck with me throughout this book: Which one do you want your child to marry? The one that respects "no" because she learns that it is a good thing even if it's not always pleasant, or the child who rarely hears "no" and believes that it's unfair and a violation of his/her rights. Good question. And she asks thoughtful and provoking questions throughout this book. She didn't sugarcoat the answers or her opinions ~~ but she wasn't harsh.
It is an interesting book ~~ one that I am glad that I got a chance to read. It also validates some of what my husband and I believe in regards to what we want our children to experience out of life ~~ and what we experienced growing up. Being a parent doesn't mean being your child's best friend ~~ it means looking out for your child's best interest and sometimes, your child won't understand that but you have to persevere through it and hold firm to what you believe in. The world does not revolve around any just one person and it's never too early to learn that lesson.
Good parenting book ~~ full of practical advice and interesting tidbits regarding her family life. It sure is different reading from all of the other parenting books out there!!
11-13-06
Average customer rating:
- Children's Etiquette
- Brings Back Great Memories, Not PC by Today's Standards
- More than a Phrase Book
- Cute
- Too much fun to miss
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What Do You Say, Dear?
Sesyle Joslin
Manufacturer: HarperTrophy
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Binding: Paperback
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What Do You Do, Dear?
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ASIN: 0064431126 |
Amazon.com
"You have gone downtown to do some shopping. You are walking backwards, because sometimes you like to, and you bump into a crocodile. What do you say, dear?" This is just one of the delightful hypothetical situations introduced by award-winning author Sesyle Joslin in this "handbook of etiquette for young ladies and gentlemen to be used as a guide for everyday social behavior." Maurice Sendak's quirky, comical illustrations are perfect for this old-fashioned, whimsical guide to manners. First published in 1958, this Caldecott Honor Book and ALA Notable Children's Book is a time- tested, fun way to teach your children important lessons. By the way, "Excuse me" is the proper response to the crocodile above! (Ages 4 to 8)
Book Description
What do you say when:
- you bump into a crocodile on a crowded city street?
- a nice gentleman introduces you to a baby elephant?
- the Queen feeds you so much spaghetti that you don't fit in your chair anymore?
This is the funniest book of manners you'll ever read!
Customer Reviews:
Children's Etiquette.......2007-09-15
As with What Do You Do, Dear, a truly excellent book as entertaining for the parent to read aloud as for the child to hear...and learn.
Brings Back Great Memories, Not PC by Today's Standards.......2007-07-03
This book as well as The Blueberry Pie Elf were the two books I remember from my first grade experience. When my sister-in-law's baby shower came along with the request we bring a copy of our favorite childhood book, I bought this as The Blueberry Pie Elf is impossible to find. My sister-in-law was tickled pink as she, too, remembered this as a child. And, yes, those of you who cringe at anything approaching "violence" even in a comedic situation will not find this book acceptable, especially with the question about what to do if a cowboy asks you if you want to get shot in the head, but remember it was a different era when this was written. And since most of us do not have cowboys riding horses wildly down the street while swinging guns around, I think most children will take this in the light it was written. Besides, I didn't even remember this passage until I re-read the book. The one I remember most from my childhood is the one referring to somebody asking you over for a spaghetti dinner and what to say after every course has been spaghetti, and then they bring out spaghetti for dessert. (I'll leave out the answer, as I don't want to ruin the suspense for those who wish to read the book.)
More than a Phrase Book.......2007-05-14
It's the art of understatement that a child learns from this book. The expected response of a young lady bumping into a crocodile would be "Eek! Help! Get me out of here!" Instead, she says simply, "Excuse me." And a pilot who crashes through the roof into a Duchesse's living room says not, "Oh my goodness! What have I done," but "I'm sorry." It's wonderful to see such self-assured young ladies and gentlemen, able to handle any situation with a polite phrase. They're civilized, courteous, confident, well dressed, poised, articulate, serious (but not too) and able to rise to any occasion. No wonder children love them. In fact, if a dinosaur were to begin nibbling at a tree in my front yard, I should hope to say not "Scat! Get out of here!" but "Help yourself." Or "Care for seconds?" Or "Shall I pass the salt?"
Cute.......2006-11-10
This is a cute book on manners. My kids, ages 3 and 4, enjoy the book and request that it be read regularly. This book gives several scenarios and then asks what the polite response is in those situations. You turn the page, and it gives the answer: "May I be excused?", "I beg your pardon", etc.
The scenarios are really silly, which is probably what my kids like. However, I have not seen them applying the responses to real life situations without my direction, and I think it is because the situations in the book are so humorously outrageous. I know, humor is great for kids and it does make the book enjoyable. It just makes the book hard to apply for the kids I think.
It is a little more verbally graphic than what I care for, too, i.e. If someone asks you 'do you want me to shoot a hole in your head' what do you say?
So, in summary, it's cute, but not great.
Too much fun to miss.......2006-08-05
Without a doubt the most sublime of all manners books are the classic What Do You Say, Dear? and What Do you Do, Dear? by Sesyle Joslin with sly and witty illustrations by Maurice Sendak. No matter how improbable or bizarre the circumstances, good manners should always prevail. Kids today do not hear this book as often as they do franchise character manner books. This should be mandatory reading for all children. It is too much fun to miss.
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