Book Description
No is perhaps the most important and certainly the most powerful word in the language. Every day we find ourselves in situations where we need to say No–to people at work, at home, and in our communities–because No is the word we must use to protect ourselves and to stand up for everything and everyone that matters to us.
But as we all know, the wrong No can also destroy what we most value by alienating and angering people. That’s why saying No the right way is crucial. The secret to saying No without destroying relationships lies in the art of the Positive No, a proven technique that anyone can learn.
This indispensable book gives you a simple three-step method for saying a Positive No. It will show you how to assert and defend your key interests; how to make your No firm and strong; how to resist the other side’s aggression and manipulation; and how to do all this while still getting to Yes. In the end, the Positive No will help you get not just to any Yes but to the right Yes, the one that truly serves your interests.
Based on William Ury’s celebrated Harvard University course for managers and professionals,
The Power of a Positive No offers concrete advice and practical examples for saying No in virtually any situation. Whether you need to say No to your customer or your coworker, your employee or your CEO, your child or your spouse, you will find in this book the secret to saying No clearly, respectfully, and effectively.
In today’s world of high stress and limitless choices, the pressure to give in and say Yes grows greater every day, producing overload and overwork, expanding e-mail and eroding ethics. Never has No been more needed. A Positive No has the power to profoundly transform our lives by enabling us to say Yes to what counts–our own needs, values, and priorities.
Understood this way, No is the new Yes. And the Positive No may be the most valuable life skill you’ll ever learn!
Customer Reviews:
Your Review.......2007-09-24
Wow, Mr. Ury hits the nail on the head and drives it clear home, unlocking the magic of what makes a good negotiator! Negotiation can be complex if you think about it. I truly appreciate the length Mr. Ury has gone to in order to make this so simple. Mr. Ury walks through step by step, coaching you and giving you a wealth of useful information. It's almost as though he's learned everything and woven it into one seamless, highly effective production. This book did more for my negotiations with less confusion then any other book I have ever read, period! It's far superior for someone who is truly trying to do better on this subject and is not sure how or where to go. If only this were available when I was a kid; or better yet, when my parents were kids! Perhaps this would be the bible of negotiation...
Dissapointed.......2007-08-02
I found this book is to over analytical of the simple word "no"....the author tries to prove it's importance, however he does it in a dry, wordy, and uninteresting manner. I wish there were more examples in it, to save time from reading the whole thing. The basics point is a "good" no is actually:
yes
no
yes
...now you know the no secret (haha), so save yourself some money and say NO to this book!
The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes.......2007-07-19
No. Such a simple word yet it's so hard to use. Most of us take on far too much because we are afraid to say no and for good reason. We've all had experiences were we did actually muster the courage to say no and felt extremely guilty afterwards. Moreover, the person who we said no to often gets mad at us and that simple word starts a huge drama. In the end, it would have been much easier just to shut our mouths.
Evidentially, our problem wasn't saying the word but in how we go about saying No. The Power of a Positive No states that No actually starts with a Yes. Sounds confusing? Not really. This Yes is basically an affirmation of what you want to do rather than focusing on the negative. I want to spend time with my family at the beach rather than doing overtime this weekend. Thus, your aim now becomes how to get that time with your family. After that realization, the whole tone of the conversation changes. You can be more open and respectful of the other person while still being strong in what is most important to you. Some very useful skills to possess.
Good Life Habit to Learn and Use.......2007-06-30
The book guides the reader through the three-part process to prepare, deliver and follow through in getting to a positive No. No doesn't come easy especially when trying to please a client who asks to move up the delivery date. You're afraid to say No because it means losing future business, respect and perhaps, your job.
_The Power of a Positive No_ not only helps you improve your negotiating skills in such work situations, but it also applies to your personal life. With the tips in the book, you won't fear the consequences of saying No and you'll find ways to make the situation work out for everyone.
Have you fallen into one of the three-A trap? Tripping up in one of these traps means the person takes steps Accommodate, Attack or Avoid when encountering a No situation. These traps won't make anyone in the situation feel good about the solution. Accommodate means saying Yes when we want to say No. Attack means saying no poorly. Avoid means saying nothing at all and not taking care of the problem.
The book digs up situations that you know you could've handled better. Applying the concepts from the book to past situations will prepare you for doing better next time without worry of blowback. Self-help books face the challenge of encouraging their readers to change. The idea of a positive no sounds difficult -- and it isn't easy either -- will come to readers if they take the time to understand and apply Ury's advice. Don't expect bandage style advice that can fix anything with a simple stick-on.
Of course, you could prepare and set up a great response for a positive no, but what if the requestor doesn't take no for an answer? Ury shows how to prepare Plan B, a backup plan. He also shares a decent amount of real-life examples, large (court case involving a large company and a customer) and small (not having time to help), of how people handled such situations.
Crack the book and it takes no time to become engrossed in Ury's clear and breezy writing style. The book flows and the length satisfies. Fans of the Ury's classic best-seller will appreciate this one and won't feel a sense of déjà vu in having read _Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In_.
To be read in a learning mode.......2007-06-27
Brings to you the kind of advice "you already know...", but in reality do not regularly use, at least in a conscious manner. To make it more than a good plane reading you must be slow at going through it and acquire the trade through practice.
Book Description
New secrets to getting what you want every time
The Science of Influence shows readers how to get anyone to say "yes" in eight minutes or less. Synthesizing the latest research in the field of influence with real-world tested experiences, it presents simple secrets that help readers turn a "no" into a "yes." Every secret in this book has been rigorously tested, validated, and found reliable academically and in the real world.
Readers learn dozens of all-new techniques and strategies for influencing others including how to reduce resistance to rubble; send unconscious nonverbal messages that are consciously undetectable; make people feel instantly comfortable in your presence; decode body language; build credibility; and be persistent without being a pain.
The Science of Influence turns the enigmatic art of influence and persuasion into a science anyone can master.
Kevin Hogan, PsyD (Eagan, MN), is a dynamic motivational speaker and expert on unconscious influence and body language for the BBC, the New York Post, and such popular magazines as Cosmopolitan and Playboy. He teaches Persuasion and Influence at the University of St. Thomas Management Center. He is the author of 12 books including bestsellers such as Irresistible Attraction: Secrets of Personal Magnetism and The Psychology of Persuasion.
Customer Reviews:
You need to look no further for sales success.......2007-09-23
Whether it's body language, alpha strategies, omega strategies, 10 laws of persuasion, building rapport, self branding, oscillation, covert hypnosis or you just want to be privy to information most other authors would and do span out over 3 or 4 books then this is an absolute must read for you.
Kevin Hogan again delivers where others leave you wanting and does so not in a way that is hard to understand or in a way that leaves you wondering whether it really does work like that but in a way that is completely and wholly backed up with real, provable scientific study and results.
I am not for one minute not to try other authors attempts but what i am saying is that you'll be very hard pushed to find a title with so much usable information in it.
Gary May
Author: SELLING: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success
www.garymay.co.uk
A must read!.......2007-09-19
After reading Psychology of Persuasion, get this book! Kevin Hogan continues to bring new and fresh concepts to you regarding the ability to Influence people. His dedication to the field is unfounded anywhere else.
A Must Read.......2007-09-13
Kevin Hogan is clearly a leading expert on influence and persuasion. He has done it again. This book has a lot of great information in it compiled from the author's own research, various studies and papers.
The author goes into great detail of how we are all influenced daily into making decisions of "yes" or "no" and how both internal and external influences affect those decisions at the conscious and unconscious level of the brain. This is about how to create change in others and we are introduced to the Delta and Omega models of influence. From beginning to end, there are countless examples of persuasion techniques and influence strategies.
I personally like chapter 11 entitled "I'll think about it". If you are in sales and have had a customer response as such, now you will understand why they said it and learn how to influence them to "yes".
Simply, a great book!
Eliot Hoppe
Proven Laws Meet Current Research and Applications - Reader Wins!.......2007-09-13
Kevin Hogan presents persuasion, influence and decision making research, liberally sprinkled with real world examples and humor, to break down the turning a "no" into a "yes" process. The "Science" of Influence goes well beyond science to the "art" of persuasion.
The strategies in this book show how to reduce resistance, build credibility, make others more comfortable in your presence, ask the right questions and be persistent without offending the other party. Importantly, this book covers the essentials of nonverbal communication. It also addresses both internal factors (like habits, routines) and external factors (like speaker's appearance, the environment) that affect a listener.
The heart of this book outlines and applies the Ten Laws of Influence. You will want to highlight and periodically revisit these laws and applications.
This book is a must read for sales and marketing professionals and others who persuade for a living, including lawyers. With its coverage of foundational persuasion principles and its incorporation of the latest research, it has much to offer to any student of persuasion and influence. Even the experienced social scientist and persuader will find some new tips or techniques.
Mollie Marti, J.D., Ph.D.
Author, Sales: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success
An edge on the competition.......2007-09-05
If you would like an extra edge on the competition, buy this book. I don't know all the tricks of the trade but I do want to understand the Science of Influence. After reading this book I changed several little things in my approach and the delivery of my presentation. The little things add up.
You might not know what you are doing to turn your clients against you. The Science of Influence will help you understand what you may be doing wrong. I now remove all negative influencers in all my interactions with my clients. The most powerful key in the book is learning that "no" can be turned into "yes". I know every sales trainer says that, but Kevin shows you the "how" and "why" a No can be turned into Yes. If you are in sales (and who doesn't use influence) you need all the education you can get. Kevin's book should be on your top shelf!
Average customer rating:
- Great Book
- Great Graduation Gift
- How to say it
- Great Reference Book
- The best so far
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How to Say It: Choice Words, Phrases, Sentences, and Paragraphs for Every Situation, Revised Edition
Rosalie Maggio
Manufacturer: Prentice Hall Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
 Reference & Collections
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Writing Skills
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Similar Items:
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How to Say It At Work: Putting Yourself Across with Power Words, Phrases, Body Language, and Communication Secrets
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1001 Letters for All Occasions: The Best Models for Every Business and Personal Need
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The Art of Talking to Anyone: Essential People Skills for Success in Any Situation
ASIN: 0735202346
Release Date: 2001-08-28 |
Book Description
The best-selling How to Say It® is now better than ever. The second edition of this one-of-a-kind book has been updated with ten new chapters-that's fifty chapters in all-offering readers even more material for quickly and effortlessly constructing original, effective letters.
How to Say It® provides short lists of what to say, and sometimes more importantly, what not to say when writing business or personal letters. It begins with examples of why and when certain letters are appropriate, tips on writing the letter, and advice for special situations. It then offers sample words and phases for each type of correspondence, as well as examples of sentences and paragraphs that are best suited for the task. Finally, it provides full sample letters giving readers a sense of what to look for in the final product. Includes appendices offering tips on etiquette, formatting, and grammar.
Customer Reviews:
Great Book.......2007-09-19
This is a pretty good book. It focuses on writings though. If you would like to have a book that speaks on communication in general, then I would suggest "How to Use Power Phrases" by Meryl Runion or optimally both books. The examples in "Power Phrases" are verbal examples, but can be used in both situations. "How to say it" should be titled "How to put it in writing"
Great Graduation Gift.......2007-06-22
I believe the ability to write a thoughtful and effective letter is an important skill to have, and one that many younger people today are not developing due to all of our electronic communications. I got this for a graduation gift and it has truly helped me become better at writing good letters for my new "adult" life, from thank you letters to job correspondence and more.
How to say it.......2007-05-12
This is a must have for anyone who writes, talks, or otherwise communicates with other people. I use it all the time for writing letters.
Great Reference Book.......2007-02-02
I draw a blank sometimes on what to say and when to say it. That's why I bought to book - to fill in the blanks !! Love it ! More than I expected.
The best so far.......2006-07-14
A lot has been written already about this book, so I would like to concentrate on one major feature of this manual.
I have several books about letter writing and this is the one I most often use and whoever I showed this book to wanted to buy it. Books of this kind fall into two broad categories: 1. short explanations and a lot of sample letters. 2. long explanations and a reasonable amount of sample letters. This book, however, shows that something more can be done. I usually have the problem with the first category that some authors tend to empty their Document folders from the work computers into a book and write some clever remarks as an introduction to them. Rosalie Maggio's book introduces methodology into the editing process: she gives you useful advice and also warning what not to do, but after that the topics are built up from word level gradually through phrases, sentences, paragraphs until you get to the actual sample letters. This way, you get much more useful material than you could get only with sample letters.
Amazon.com
"How does a dinosaur say good night when Papa comes in to turn off the light? Does a dinosaur slam his tail and pout? Does he throw his teddy bear all about? Does a dinosaur stomp his feet on the floor and shout: 'I want to hear one book more!'? DOES A DINOSAUR ROAR?" Most certainly not. Dinosaurs give their mommies and daddies big hugs and kisses, tuck their tales in, and whisper "Good night!"
Every sleepy little dinosaur will recognize the tricks of the trade in these bedtime shenanigans. The chuckle factor is sky-high here, with giant, full-page pictures of cleverly identified Tyrannosaurus rexes, triceratopses, and Pteranodons. A variety of human mothers and fathers trying to put their dinosaur children to bed will bring the point home that the story may have something to do with human kid behavior as well. This good-natured nighttime book is sure to be a winner (even though it might inspire a few noisy dinosaur antics), especially as it's written by Jane Yolen, prolific Caldecott Medalist author of Owl Moon. Yolen and Mark Teague have teamed up to create a fun, silly, playful read-aloud. (Ages 3 to 7) --Emilie Coulter
Book Description
What if a dinosaur catches the flu?Does he whimper and whine between each "At-choo"?Does he drop dirty tissues all over the floor?Does he fling his medicine out of the door? Just like kids, little dinosaurs hate being sick. And going to the doctor can be pretty scary. How DO dinosaurs get well soon? They drink lots of juice, and they get lots of rest; they're good at the doctor's, 'cause doctors know best. As in their first dinosaur book, Yolen and Teague capture children's fears about being sick and put them to rest with playful read-aloud verse and hilarious pictures.
Customer Reviews:
Love this book.......2007-09-07
I love everything about this book. My 10 month old will sit through this book and just look at all the beautiful colors and laugh at the silly things the dinosaur does.
Charming story, Captivating illustrations, Good message.......2007-08-15
Open the book to discover an enormous Tyrannosaurus Rex on a ridiculously small bed with his human father telling him it's time for bed. Each whimsical illustration tells the story of dinosaurs preparing for bed and asks if they pout, stomp their feet or cry at bedtime. In the end we learn that dinosaurs don't put up a stink, but instead give big hugs and kisses before going to bed. The illustrations are fun and the story is sweet with a great message subtly telling children the right way to go to bed. (It's perfect for any parent who has ever tried to put a stubborn child to sleep!)
Absolutely Wonderful!.......2007-07-21
My daughter loves this book. Mark Teague illustrates this book fantastically. The dinosaurs have so much emotion in their faces you can read your own childs face in each dinosaur. We have read this so much my little 3 year old memorized it. This is an absolutely amazing book and would be great to add to any collection.
the perfect goodnight book!.......2007-06-02
I have 3 year old twins and they love this book so much that they know all the words by heart, and it is fun to act out what is said on each page, we read several stories before bed, and this is their favorite one.
Love this book!.......2007-05-03
My girls and I love this book! It is the perfect rhyming book with ample opportunities to add life to it while you read. My girls love to stomp their feet on the floor, and we all stop when we get to "does a dinosaur" and real loud all three of us ROAR and they get such a kick out of that. They also like to show me the Mama and the Daddy at different points. We also have the clean up book and that is equally as good. And the illustrations are fantastic. A HUGE fan of this author/illustrator and I HIGHLY recommend this book.
Book Description
Phyllis Mindell, an acclaimed expert on professional communications, shows women how to transform themselves by transforming their language; shed weak words, phrases, and gestures; empower themselves to win attention and respect; and get their ideas across with confidence and power.
Perhaps the best teacher of how the power of language can transform is an unexpected one: Charlotte the spider of E.B. White's, Charlotte's Web. Mindell demonstrates how Charlotte communicated messages that gained national attention and saved a friend's life. As a model, she combines female strengths of wisdom and compassion with the determination and power to make a difference.
As part of Prentice Hall Press's highly successful How to Say It tm series, How to Say It tm for Women is packed with practical tips, techniques, and examples that arm women to grapple with every communication issue, from choosing the right word or sentence to speaking, reading, writing, leading, dressing, and interviewing effectively. Readers will learn how to: shun words that weaken messages and make women invisible; sail through interviews; assess and develop leadership skills; say NO, kindly but firmly; respond appropriately to slurs, insults, and harassment; say the one winning word that gets people to follow directions.
True stories about women in every field, along with quotes from Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Carla Hills, Amelia Earhart, Elizabeth Dole and others, enable women to tap the power of words to persuade, motivate, establish authority, and make a difference-- without sacrificing their integrity, their compassion, or their femininity.
Customer Reviews:
What every woman should know!.......2006-03-09
I read about this book - actually, I consider it a textbook - when searching for tools on expanding my career. I usually wouldn't buy something like this, and instead look for similar information from free 'Net sources. But on a whim, I bought it, and am so glad I did. I'm not even halfway through and what I've learned already has helped me to speak and express myself in a way that gets people's attention, and has improved my professional image. One of the best tips, which comes early in the book, is catching myself using the "I think/like/don't like" phrase when I want to discuss facts. I do it, so I don't look like a know-it-all. Dr. Mindell, however, shows several ways to express facts without appearing as though I have all the answers.
The author also cites common grammar and language mistakes that keep women in the background, and prevent us from asserting our strengths and skills. The concept of Weak Language is especially intriguing; in reviewing the examples, I saw myself in almost every one. Her solutions are very attainable, but she strongly recommends practicing this new language with another woman. I have, and my women friends were amazed at how powerful this "new" language sounds.
These are hard habits to break, but with the tips and examples in this book, I'm getting better at it. And I can see the difference in how others treat me; more importantly, I feel different about myself. The book is really a life-changing experience, for someone who has never really put much thought into my "image" but is continually frustrated at not getting the positive attention for my work success as I believe I deserve. Thank you Dr. Mindell!
Review by the Business Librarians of the Carnegie Library, Pittsburgh.......2005-07-17
The lights go down. The speaker strides confidently towards the podium, pauses and makes eye contact with the audience. And from the very first moment you know, instinctively, that it's going to be an excellent presentation. An experience like this reinforces your desire to create your own unique aura of self-confidence. What can you do to make this happen?
One thing you can do, right away, is to get a copy of Dr. Phyllis Mindell's book, How to Say It for Executives: The Complete Guide to Communication for Leaders. It's an excellent guide for acquiring and practicing the communication skills you'll need to get ahead and stay there, complete with exercises, charts, lists, examples, and a simple format that makes it all easy to digest.
Primary among those skills is something obvious but often overlooked: listening. When you pay close attention when others are talking, instead of interrupting or jumping to conclusions without hearing the entire story, it will be noticed and appreciated. Of course, a favorite chapter for us here at the library is "Reading Like a Leader," in which the author doesn't tell what to read, but rather how to read - both speedily and deeply - in ways that will build skills in analysis, synthesis, and argument. A chapter on nonverbal leadership breaks down the powerful code spoken by gesture, dress, and body placement.
Preparing a presentation is the centerpiece of How To Say It For Executives, and Dr. Mindell meticulously lays out each step of the process. Before you begin, gather some information about the audience. The speech should be written out, using an absolute minimum of sentences that begin with "I", and rehearsed. The most objective way to find out how you really look and sound in front of an audience is to videotape the speech. After viewing it, turn off the sound and watch it again. Now that you know where improvement is needed, complete the assignments in each chapter that target problems commonly faced by public speakers.
You never know when hostile or difficult people will be in the audience. One individual can spoil an entire presentation by monopolizing the floor or asking inappropriate questions. The author offers several techniques for tactfully handling a variety of problems and disruptions that can occur in an open forum.
Perhaps the most valuable lesson in How to Say It for Executives is this: Make a concerted effort to stop using weak words like "I feel", "sort of", "I guess" and "I think" in everyday conversations as well as presentations. Instead of coming across as tentative and unsure, practice substituting phrases that will make your sentences strong and persuasive. Although the advice in this book is directed primarily to those in leadership positions, anyone but a hermit will find life is made much easier by becoming a better communicator
Not Helpful.......2005-04-25
I bought this book at a womens' leadership conference a couple of years ago. I read it cover-to-cover and decided to try the skills covered when communicating in my office. My supervisors' opinions of me changed drastically - they began to view me as surly and defiant. I didn't think any of the verbage alternatives were rude, but in the organization where I was working, the higher-ups expected you to consider them omnipotent and not have an opinion of your own. Ultimately one should consider their audience and adjust their language accordingly.
Great basis for coursework.......2005-04-05
I am using this book as a reference for my students in a business english course in Japan. Although the students find reading it cover to cover a bit too much (lower intermediate English level) when I point out specific points and pages I want them to read and understand, they really get a lot out of it. The book is written well and ideas are developed and backed up clearly. I would recommend this to any teachers of women students.
A valuable resource for aspiring women leaders.......2004-07-30
I can't recommend this book highly enough. As a leadership coach in Silicon valley I often help women managers and executives to become better leaders, and this book speaks directly to two of the biggest roadblocks to women's advancement: communication and confidence. These women are shocked at how closely Mindell understands their work challenges. The book takes highly volatile, challenging workplace situations and offers suggestions that immediately actionable.
Average customer rating:
- Excellent Book!
- Management Book
- Must have
- Is this a vocabulary review?
- Excellent and essential book for everyone
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How to Say It At Work: Putting Yourself Across with Power Words, Phrases, Body Language, and Communication Secrets
Jack Griffin
Manufacturer: Prentice Hall Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
Communications
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How to Say It: Choice Words, Phrases, Sentences, and Paragraphs for Every Situation, Revised Edition
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ASIN: 0735200122 |
Amazon.com
Jack Griffin argues that it's vital to sell yourself--and your ideas--every day. In How to Say It at Work: Putting Yourself Across with Power Words, Phrases, Body Language and Communication Secrets, he offers practical advice for making your case whether your target is a supervisor, colleague, subordinate, client, vendor, or lender. Part 1 has a self-test for evaluating your current skills and also includes a toolkit for improving your overall communication at work. Part 2 lists specifics for dealing with key individuals and includes helpful (and harmful) words, phrases, body-language strategies and other techniques that can help you be a better communicator at work. --Howard Rothman
Customer Reviews:
Excellent Book!.......2007-08-03
This book was very helpful for me to determine what to say and how to convey my message professionally. I highly recommend this book to anyone in the workplace.
Management Book.......2007-07-15
Another recommendation from my management class. Very useful examples for various situations. It will be very helpful and one of my reference books.
Must have.......2006-12-24
I bought this while interviewing and now I keep it at work. I got the job I wanted with my top salary request. Useful, easy to understand and put into practice. Things you didn't realize about posture, facial expressions, simple phrasing, voice tone, etc. Great investment.
Is this a vocabulary review?.......2005-09-10
I was more interested in reading about different perspectives in the business environment, and the most effective way to communicate between different roles. I did not buy the book to memorize long lists of words and phrases - the "good" ones and the "bad" ones.
The lists really put me off. They do get the right concepts across, in their own inept way, but they aren't all-inclusive, and it only stands to reason that sometimes they'll be wrong, depending upon the situation. Sure words are powerful, but delivery is everything. Body language, attitude, and neutral words used in the wrong way can have the same effect as words on the "bad" list, so the lists hardly make sense. I think the only time I will use these lists will be when I want to mock the late 90's and early 2000's with tired, overused phrases that I really can't stand to hear anymore. This book is at such a superficial level that it isn't even about communication.
Excellent and essential book for everyone.......2004-10-07
I started teaching people to make PowerPoint presentations around 1992. Around 1995, I realized that many people were talking about themselves, so I suggested that the most important word they could use was "You." In 2003, I realized that people who wanted to be accepted by their audience should use the word "We." And then I picked up this book and read that the the three most important words in a business person's vocabulary were "we," "us," and "our." And that was on page eleven. At that point I was sold.
It's very easy to open your mouth and say your message in a way that alienates people. Very few people can negotiate difficult communications, but this book will help them do this. The book shows you words, phrases and body language to use and to avoid. It has numerous samples of conversations you can have with your fellow workers to put yourself in the best position.
The book covers all kinds of spoken business communications - the four largest sections include Getting a Job, speaking with your Supervisors, your Colleagues, and your Subordinates. Other groups are Prospective Clients, Current Clients, Handling Credit, Collection, and Customer Complaints, Vendors and Suppliers, and Lenders and Investors. In many cases you'll see the traps you can fall into.
You need to use this book with a little thought, in that the circumstances are usually similar to what you have to deal with, but not identical. But a few minutes' reading will change you from being a tongue-tied person to someone who achieves what you want.
I feel sorry for people who dismiss this and other similar books as "just common sense." I've known few people who possessed even a fraction of the skills shown in this book, and my own experience shows that I spent over ten years learning the information that appears in the beginning of the book.
Definitely a must-have, and a good book to build your general communications skills. And you'll stop coming away from meetings thinking, "I wish I could have said that better."
Book Description
In this exciting new book, Dr. Townsend gives important keys for establishing healthy boundaries—the bedrock of good relationships, maturity, safety, and growth for teens and the adults in their lives. The book offers help in raising your teens to take responsibility for their actions, attitudes, and emotions.
Customer Reviews:
Offers encouragement to parents on every page.......2007-06-06
The problem with most self-help books is that we turn to them when all else has failed, and often it is too late to deal effectively with the current crisis. Not that they can't help to point us in the right direction, but the advice would have been a lot more helpful if we had sought it before we got into the problem. Unfortunately, human nature seems to adhere to the "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" philosophy. So we fail to anticipate future problems and find ourselves scrambling for help when "it (inevitably) breaks."
Fortunately, for parents today, there are some excellent books available that can help them prepare for their child's stages of development. These books, written by people who have worked through many of parenting's pitfalls, can make the journey so much smoother and more enjoyable. Dr. John Townsend, who often co-authors with Dr. Henry Cloud, has written a series of books dealing with parenting and relationships that definitely falls into this category. These titles include RAISING GREAT KIDS, HOW PEOPLE GROW, BOUNDARIES WITH KIDS and BOUNDARIES IN MARRIAGE, plus others.
We have heard that a child's personality and tendencies are formed by the time he or she is eight years old. So what hope do parents have when their 14-year-old becomes rude and disrespectful, refusing to follow even the simplest of family rules? According to BOUNDARIES WITH TEENS, help is available, and while the child's personality and tendencies will not be changed, his or her behavior will. This allows the family to function and mom and dad to have a measure of serenity.
Dr. Townsend says, "I have seen many teens become more responsible, happier, and better prepared for adult life after their parents began to apply the principles and techniques discussed in this book. Many of these teens not only made positive changes in their lives, they also reconnected emotionally with their parents at levels that the parents thought they would never experience again." Using biblical principles as his guide, Dr. Townsend has put together a book that gives parents uncomplicated strategies for dealing with the most common and disturbing problems they are apt to face with their teenagers. Not only is there a chapter outline, there is also a detailed index to help find answers that focus on specific needs.
In addition to the practical advice, BOUNDARIES WITH TEENS offers encouragement to parents on every page. It reminds them of their own spiritual needs and commitments and gives them hope for success. Raising children is more challenging than ever, and people like Dr. Townsend provide welcome assistance.
--- Reviewed by Maggie Harding
So far very good.......2007-06-01
The book arrived yesterday (well ahead of the initial shipping schedule) and I started reading it right away (I have 3 teenaged boys). After only being about 40 pages in, I'm wondering why I didn't buy this book long ago. It probably could have saved our family some conflict and frustration. As the book says, it's never too late so I don't lose hope.
BOUNDARIES ARE A BLESSING.......2006-07-16
Excellent book, great practical advice for parents tackling many issues for adolescents. Love it.
A Must Read for Every Parent.......2006-06-28
This book is quick and easy to read due to its methodical layout. The first three parts of the book set the stage for helping parents understand the teenage mind and the general concepts of setting boundaries. Part four lists specific issues most parents of teens will deal with. In each specific issue, the author defines the problem and then describes how to handle the problem. I recommend parents read the book from beginning to end to get the entire picture and benefit of the author's advice. What's nice about the fourth part of the book is that parents can time and time again flip to the specific behavior they are dealing with and review the advice. So far, Dr. Townsend's advice is working wonderfully in our household. I wish this book had been around years ago when my oldest became a teenager! I plan to buy copies of the book for my friends with teenagers.
You want specifics? You get specifics!.......2006-02-13
Dr. Townsend continues the fine tradition of the Boundaries series of Townsend and Cloud. As a youth leader, counselor, and as a father of 2 teens himself, Townsend addresses some basic underlying concepts for parenting teens. The first three sections of the book are entitled: "Be a Parent with Boundaries," "Understand the Teenage World," and "Set Boundaries with Your Teen." The focus here is equipping parents to build better relationships with their teens.
By far the largest fourth section of the book deals with specific issues involved in parenting adolescents: academics, agression, substance abuse, argumentativeness, breaking agreements, chores, clothing, curfews, self-mutilation, deception, defiance, family detachment, disrepect, driving, spirituality, ignoring parents, impulsive behaviors, the internet, handling money, moodiness, parties, peer relationships, phone usage, runaways, sexuality, and the silent treatment.
Townsend balances comforting parents in the difficult situations they find themselves in with teens, practical suggestions for working with teens on their own, and highlighting red flag behaviors that need professional intervention. The book is very readable and easily completed over a weekend. Following through on the suggestions will take longer, but Townsend helps encourage parents to hang in there!
Book Description
An indispensable management guide to making sure that the long-term strategies and day-to-day goals a company sets are successfully executed, written by the coauthor of the national bestseller It’s Not the Big That Eat the Small . . . It’s the Fast That Eat the Slow.
Good managers at every level recognize the importance of strategic planning and setting concrete goals for their employees. But even the best among them often fail to implement and support the crucial processes that turn well-laid plans into visible successes. Studies show that over the last fifty years, a whopping 83 percent of corporate slowdowns were attributable not to outside economic forces but to the lack of vigilant follow-through within the company itself.
In It's Not What You Say...It's What You Do, Laurence Haughton identifies the missteps that allow initiatives to fall through the cracks and explains how to close the gap between what a company sets out to do and what actually happens. Drawing on interviews with top-level executives from such companies as IKEA, the Wall Street Journal, Charles Schwab, Time Warner, Watson Wyatt, Pella Corp., and scores of others both large and small, he presents the essential strategies for ensuring the success of innovations and change, including:
• Get more “buy-in” from employees on new initiatives
• Balance control with coordination to make your team more effective
• Make sure that expectations are crystal clear
• Maintain a sense of urgency and momentum on a daily basis
Filled with real-life examples of how effective follow-through stems the waste of resources, improves productivity, and prevents costly mistakes, It's Not What You Say...It's What You Do gives managers up and down the corporation or company the tools they need to eliminate failure resulting from lack of follow-through and achieve their goals.
Customer Reviews:
Excellent. Much better than "Execution".......2007-07-04
Quoting the conclusion of "The Everygreen Project" in the Introduction, the author made his theme loud and clear: "it matters very much though that whatever you choose to implement you execute it flawlessly.......to make every level follow through." Using plenty of well written examples, well structured analysis and action points riding on the four conceptual building blocks (clear direction, the right people, buy in, individual initiative), the author did his job brilliantly. I am obliged to give extra credit for his intelligent use of acronyms like SMART (specific, measurable, accountable, realistic and time-bound for goal setting) and CAVE people (citizens against virtually everything) in the right place at the right time to elaborate his ideas. In short, a must read for all business people. Highly recommended!
Below please find one of my most favorite concepts for your reference.
Four steps to outmaneuver the CAVE people and result in more buy-in:
1. Kick off your change with a Wow! event
2. Blitzkrieg them (blitzkrieg means to follow through so fast the CAVE people dont have the time to organise their resistance)
3. Create disciples from the rank and file
4. Take your success story straight to the top
It's All About Action.......2006-05-06
Some books titles draw me in immediately. Such was the case with this book - I mean would anyone disagree with this title?
Even so the book sat on my shelf for quite awhile. Once I picked it up, I read it in about a day and a half.
It's that good.
The book is built on four building blocks - the cornerstones the author identifies to creating greater follow-through in any organization.
- Clear Direction
- The Right People
- Buy-in
- Individual Initiative
I love that Haughton uses the phrase building blocks, because that is what they are. He reminds to forget quick fixes, but rather to get back to the basics. Then he gives us ideas and examples of what we can do that will predictably create projects and initiatives that will create results, rather than disappointments.
This is a book about personal leadership accountability and how to create an organizational expectation of higher accountability. In other words, this is a book about getting greater results. Read it and you will get many ideas on how to do just that.
So read it . . . and hold yourself accountable for putting what you learn into action.
A refreshing, enjoyable book to read with great examples.......2006-03-10
Too often I find that I have to push myself to get through business books, but Laurence's book combines an easy reading style, engaging examples, and relevant practicals to keep pulling the reader along. It wasn't long before grabbed a high-lighter and started taking notes to share with others I work with.
Close the Gap, What A Company Can Do, What Really Happens........2005-06-08
To be a successful business, you must have a clear direction with the right people who have the abilities to do the job wholeheartedly. Character is the ability to maintain monentum long after the mood has passed. Creating a reason to rise above tough conditions is necessary. Respect others and realize that there's a fine line between enough and too much accountability. Mainly, you've got to get back to basics; the things which makes or breaks the company is the manager's ability to get everyone at every level following through and to show a good example.
Customers are fickle and will take advantage of the best offers and costs. Chance plays a big part, as does inducement to switch and, as always, curiosity (wanting the best deal even if you have to go way cross town to get it) are important considerations of customers or clients' actions. Disappointment in the product, services, or common courtesty on the part of the company they've trusted will drive them away. Everyone can be replaced.
Recently, a store manager at Walgreen's repeatedly hurt my feelings at different trips to my neighborhood store, and was most unfair to a regular customer. Did it do any good to go to the head office? I doubt it, as the district over the local stores refused to listen. When this happens, you lose business, prestige and other customers -- as interested bystanders viewed his tough and mean attitude and will no doubt go elsewhere. Also, word-of-mouth publicity will cause that particular Walgreen's to get a bad reputation in this town where stores close as fast as they open, and gives the nationwide company a black eye.
A very important factor to consider is not to abuse the elderly customer (as there are lots of us out here) and someone who can't fight back. Nobody will spend their money on a bully. It goes way past disappointment. He said some mean things but what he did (humiliate a regular, long-time customer in front of others) is abdominable. To stoop so low became 'the straw that broke the camel's back.'
First, your product must be reliable. If you fail to stick to your store's promises just as long as things are fine, but when they're not, you fall back on excuses, or accusations to get your point across and lose customers as a consequence, that's when a change should be made.
Customers don't "understand" being made a fool of in public, and they'd be crazy to come back for more abusive attitudes. You can say that you're right until you're blue in the face, but you are definitely a failure at your job when you don't adhere to the adage, "Customers come first" to prove your point that you are 'in charge.'
If you do what what you say you're going to do to correct a situation (not turn the tables on the customer and put the blame on him), then you can be relied on to do the right thing. The follow-through to make things right, just 'touching base,' are what makes a business person successful. Otherwise, he's a failure representing that store, and should be replaced. There is a vast difference between winners and losers in every phase of life but, in business, it makes or breaks the company's reputation in the long run if managers are allowed to run amok.
Getting it done.......2005-05-26
Great customer service is based on emapthy but how do you teach empahty to service workers? Haughton's chapter of Reading Between the Lines does it. It's the best, most practical, business-centered writing I've seen teaching empathy as part of customer servise. He draws on the example of the Union Square Hospitality Group in New York. But his concepts and examples are easily transferable. In fact, I used excerpts from the chapter to teach superviors and staff of small groups homes for people with developmental disabilities.
The "Between the Lines" chapter would be worth the price of admission but Haughton keeps scoring runs. A later chapter on CAVE people (Citizens Against Viturally Everything)is one of the best I've seen on overcoming organizational resistance to change. As Haughton puts it so succintly, "Every organization has an immune system with antibodies that attack all changes automatically." Haughton covers a series of proven strategies for creating healthy change in an organization before CAVE people can run it into the ground.
Buy this book, study it, and help your business of nonprofit thrive.
Book Description
Part memoir, part monologue, with a dash of startling honesty, There’s Nothing in This Book That I Meant to Say features biographies of legendary historical figures from which Paula Poundstone can’t help digressing to tell her own story. Mining gold from the lives of Abraham Lincoln, Helen Keller, Joan of Arc, and Beethoven, among others, the eccentric and utterly inimitable mind of Paula Poundstone dissects, observes, and comments on the successes and failures of her own life with surprising candor and spot-on comedic timing in this unique laugh-out-loud book.
If you like Paula Poundstone’s ironic and blindingly intelligent humor, you’ll love this wryly observant, funny, and touching book.
Paula Poundstone on . . .
The sources of her self-esteem: “A couple of years ago I was reunited with a guy I knew in the fifth grade. He said, “All the other fifth-grade guys liked the pretty girls, but I liked you.” It’s hard to know if a guy is sincere when he lays it on that thick.
The battle between fatigue and informed citizenship: I play a videotape of The NewsHour with Jim Lehrer every night, but sometimes I only get as far as the theme song (da da-da-da da-ah) before I fall asleep. Sometimes as soon as Margaret Warner says whether or not Jim Lehrer is on vacation I drift right off. Somehow just knowing he’s well comforts me.
The occult: I need to know exactly what day I’m gonna die so that I don’t bother putting away leftovers the night before.
TV’s misplaced priorities: Someday in the midst of the State of the Union address they’ll break in with, “We interrupt this program to bring you a little clip from Bewitched.”
Travel: In London I went to the queen’s house. I went as a tourist—she didn’t invite me so she could pick my brain: “What do you think of my face on the pound? Too serious?”
Air-conditioning in Florida: If it were as cold outside in the winter as they make it inside in the summer, they’d put the heat on. It makes no sense.
The scandal: The judge said I was the best probationer he ever had. Talk about proud.
With a foreword by Mary Tyler Moore
Customer Reviews:
There's nothing in this book that I meant to say by Paula Poundstone.......2007-08-06
This is a funny book... I listened to it in my car on five CDs. Paula has been through a lot and yet she has not lost her sense of humor. If you ever get the chance to go see her live, don't miss it. She is one of the quickest and the best at adLib that I have ever seen.
Humor, History and Humility.......2007-07-29
What do Joan of Arc, Abraham Lincoln, Helen Keller, Beethoven, Charles Dickens,The Wright Brothers and Sitting Bull all have in common? Isn't it obvious? Paula Poundstone of course.
Ms. Poundstone makes both humorous and serious parallels with these historical figures as she goes back and forth between her life and theirs. We not only learn about her own history, we learn about her wry views on life, recovery from her addiction and her number one priority-her three children. As an added bonus we may even be motivated to read more about the people whose names are the titles of the seven chapters.
I especially appreciated her frank discussion of her alcoholism in terms of acceptance,taking responsibility as well as making amends to those whose lives were most affected, her children.
Well done Paula!
A pleasant, rambling read.......2007-07-26
This book feels a lot like listening to a Paula Poundstone comedy routine. She starts off on one topic and you never know where you will end up. I was pleasantly surprised by how personal she was willing to get when talking about her recent substance problems. She did so with much grace and self-deprecating humor. I just love her wit and found myself laughing out loud on several occasions.
There's Nothing in This Book That I Meant to Say.......2007-06-08
Great book. She writes with raw honesty and gentle humour. While reading the book, you feel like you're having a great heart to heart talk, with a good friend.
Nayslove.......2007-05-12
If you are a fan of Paula's, you will LOVE this book! If you aren't and are looking for a good read, you will enjoy the history lesson and fall in love with her. I laughed so hard I had tears rolling. It is both poignant and hysterically funny. She is brilliant as a comic, and now as an author.
Book Description
Easy-to-master techniques for more effective communications in all areas of life
In this breakthrough guide, communication guru Meryl Runion explains why effective communication is more than just a business tool. It is also the key to happier, healthier relationships, and greater personal fulfillment and business success. In How to Use Power Phrases to Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say, & Get What You Want she introduces readers to the concept of power phrases--short, focused expressions that let people be direct and to the point without seeming brusque or nasty. In clear, down-to-earth language, illustrated with numerous vignettes and real-world examples, Runion teaches readers how to:
- Say what needs to be said without fear of misinterpretation or creating negative emotional responses
- Master six basic methods for crafting power phrases for any setting and every social, professional, or interpersonal situation
Download Description
Easy-to-master techniques for more effective communications in all areas of life
In this breakthrough guide, communication guru Meryl Runion explains why effective communication is more than just a business tool. It is also the key to happier, healthier relationships, and greater personal fulfillment and business success. In How to Use Power Phrases to Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say, & Get What You Want she introduces readers to the concept of power phrases--short, focused expressions that let people be direct and to the point without seeming brusque or nasty. In clear, down-to-earth language, illustrated with numerous vignettes and real-world examples, Runion teaches readers how to:
- Say what needs to be said without fear of misinterpretation or creating negative emotional responses
- Master six basic methods for crafting power phrases for any setting and every social, professional, or interpersonal situation
Customer Reviews:
Power in the right words. Life is what is perceived........2007-06-27
Lasting power is in relationship smarts. We can become more "powerful" when we put people up and make them feel good about their positive actions than if we react with a vengeance.
This book also teaches how to approach conflict. We could belittle the other person (or ourselves if we are criticizing ourselves) with poison words, or we could approach the problem with them knowing the problem, and having the drive to fix it.
The book also discusses how to ask for help in a way that makes people feel like a part of your team instead of being "dragged into doing another favor for you."
I recommend this book.
Thank you Meryl!!!.......2007-02-07
Your book has saved my professional and personal self-confidence with communicating. Usually my conversations and correspondence were long, drawn out, and the other person would get lost in "words." My tendencies were to get the "last word" in a conversation, sometimes with a little barb, thinking I was leaving a lasting impression. Wrong... Your book is a ready reference for phrases that are specific and short, but quick and to the point. Thank you for your saying: say what you mean, mean what you say, without being mean when you say it. That one phrase sums it up!
Maybe too much publicity and a colorfull cover........2007-02-01
Well, if you are a Neanderthal guy with no experience at all on comunnication with people on your own species, buy this book RIGHT NOW. On other hand, if you are even a little polite and educated this book will not tell you anything new. Anyway, if you are looking to increase your comunicattion skills, you could use one or two pages of the whole book. I think that it is too litle for 200 more pages.It is up to you.
Just What I Needed..........2004-06-20
This book is helping me tremendously at work and in my personal life. I had no idea how weak my language was. I was afraid to say what I thought and ask for what I want. I was always concerned that I would disapoint people out inconvenience them. This book helped me to learn how to communicate effectively while continuing to be a really nice person that gives and gets respect.
Powerful!.......2004-01-18
I love it! It's immediately practical and useful. I learned how to respond to my critical boss, assertively address a backstabber, and most importantly, convey my anger and disappointment without blamin the other person. That lesson alone was worth way more than the price of the book. What a value! I'm using what I learned in this book every day.
Books:
- The Power of a Praying® Parent Book of Prayers (Power of a Praying Book of Prayers)
- The Preemie Parents' Companion: The Essential Guide to Caring for Your Premature Baby in the Hospital, at Home, and Through the First Years
- The Pregnancy Journal, Revised Edition: A Day-to-Day Guide to a Healthy and Happy Pregnancy
- The Princess Diaries, Volume VII: Party Princess (Princess Diaries)
- The Seventeen Traditions
- The Sneaky Chef: Simple Strategies for Hiding Healthy Foods in Kids Favorite Meals
- The Ultimate Gift (The Ultimate Series #1)
- Thriving After Breast Cancer: Essential Healing Exercises for Body and Mind
- Through the Eyes of a Child: An Introduction to Children's Literature (6th Edition)
- Thyroid Cancer: A Guide for Patients
Books Index
Books Home
Recommended Books
- How to Get the Teaching Job You Want: The Complete Guide for College Graduates, Teachers Changing Sc
- Andrew Carnegie
- Nonlinear Pricing: Theory & Applications
- The Importance of Being Barbra: The Brilliant, Tumultuous Career of Barbra Streisand
- The Essentials of Risk Management
- A Taste of Honey
- Victorian Costume for Ladies
- Optimal Control of Credit Risk
- The Consumer Revolution in Urban China
- Breeze - Waif of the Wild
Getting Past No
Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In
Beyond Reason: Using Emotions as You Negotiate
Know-How: The 8 Skills That Separate People Who Perform from Those Who Don't
Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss what Matters Most
