Book Description
Don't let the title fool you. this IS a serious, thoughtful (and thought-provoking) comprehensive introduction to, and examination of, a much misunderstood and misused practice. But more than that, it is a witty, provocative, damn fine read, with as much to offer to the faithfully monogamous as to those looking for a bit more out of life, love and relationships. Go on. Dive in. "Wendy-O tackles a touchy subject with clarity and creativity. She is wise beyond her years. This guide teaches you how you can have it all. I gave the jealousy tips to my lover immediately." [Annie Sprinkle]
Customer Reviews:
Great.......2007-04-15
Whether to put more emphasis on one's politics or one's personal life has been a running debate between activists, organizers, and rebels of all sorts for a long time now. Where does your personal life stop and your efforts to change the world begin? Is there something in between? How do you go about living your life that goes along with your principles? These questions sometimes haunt me, because you can never really separate yourself from mainstream consumer society no matter how much you dislike capitalism. However, in this life, while you make compromises so you can exist, at what point do you go too far? I'll usually veer away from these sorts of thoughts since I've seen it cripple many politically-minded people and make their heads spin. The worst part is the questions continually come back.
Relationships are a huge part of who we are simply as human beings. Whether it's sex, friendship, love, simple companionship, or something in-between all of these, humans exist as social creatures. In fact, any healthy social movement for change develops strong relationships on individual and mass levels. So what's so radical about that? Well, it may look more radical when you start to think about how many things in our society have been the result of domination, control, and exploitation. Ultimately, much of what we think of as romantic relationships in the West is based on about male control, patriarchy, and jealousy, (which again, we all grew up with in this society). Alternative relationships, or open relationships where no one person has control over another's feelings, is an alternative model. In "Redefining Our Relationships: Guidelines for Responsible Open Relationships," Wendy O Matik, explores how an open relationship, based on trust, honesty, and maturity, would actual work.
When it comes down to it, I highly recommend this book. I've gone back and forth on the monogamy vs. polyamory issue. (I don't like the term non-monogamy because I don't like defining myself as what I'm against.) Sometimes I won't do it because my partner is against it, and other times we compromise to adopting it. Wendy writes here that the key towards a successful open relationship is to be honest with one another that humans will be attracted to other people, and they can't shut that part of them down just because they're with someone else. Jealousy, much like rage, can shut a part of you down and hate someone you're supposed to love, or when someone cheats on monagomy. Wendy also makes the good point that relationships aren't just a black/white thing where you have lovers and friends, and nothing else. Another excellent point she makes is that open relationships do not mean irresponsible relationships where you don't have to take your partner's feelings into account or can just go marathon bed-hopping without letting your partner know what's going on.
If you're even just curious about open relationships or wish to explore exactly what love is, Wendy-O Matik is a great start, since it's a fast, short enjoyable read.
Open marriage.......2007-01-05
It's so wonderful to know that I'm not alone in wanting more out of life, but still wanting to remain married. It has given me the confidence to pursue my dreams, my life, and hopefully my straying husband will read the book one day!
Good Polyamory Basics.......2006-07-08
This is one of the newer texts on polyamory. The author does a good job giving a pragmatic, down-to-earth perspective on the subject and it's an easy read, though she abhors the term for some reason and refuses to use it. This strikes me as especially odd since the term now appears in several dictionaries and is familiar even to mainstream America more than any similar term. Still, as a polyamory skills educator I am happy to endorse this book and welcome it as a good addition to the still meager offerings to be had on polyamory. - Anita Wagner
A fast, freeing read .......2006-01-24
This is one of the lighter-weight polyamory books (although the author dislikes the term "polyamory" and never uses it in the book), but Wendy-O Matik is good at giving permission to think for oneself, along with general ideas about loving outside the box. She has a very appealing, open definition of non-monogamy that is about intimacy rather than any particular sexual expression, or even equating "lover" with "sexual partner." A chapter by guest essayist Famous is called "Some of Us Have Kids," but most of the book is about the (possibly) freer ones amongst us who don't.
I also loved the illustrations by Erin Brookey. "Erin's medium consists of her own undergarments, lingerie, safety pins, and joural entries, which are then carefully hand-stitched together and sealed in plastic ..." She then appears to have sketched her pieces as the book illustrations.
Altogether, this is a collaborative effort that normalizes artistic and relationship choices.
Good guidelines.......2005-03-29
I happened upon Ms. O Matik at the San Francisco Anarchist book fair where she was selling this work. The book has nothing that is mind-bogglingly new. It is straight-forward and common-sensical. However it obviously comes directly from the author's personal experience and will help you steer through the complexities that might arise should you decide to pursue a polyamorous lifestyle.
What is refereshing is that Wendy does not try to proselytizein this book: she does not try to advocate this lifestyle as the only way. The author takes a mature attitude and one does not feel that she has adopted this lifestyle for the sake of rebellion. In other words, the works flows from her center. It is a postive statement that is life-affirming, not a negative rebellion against.
Book Description
Increasing numbers of young children are presenting with non-progressive developmental disorders involving compromises in the capacity to relate, communicate, and think. These disorders involve many different areas of developmental functioning, ranging from planning motor actions and comprehending sounds to generating ideas and reflecting on feelings. New research and clinical observations are making it possible to more fully identify these functional developmental capacities and, thereby, characterize each child and family according to their unique profile. Most important, these new observations enable clinicians to individualize assessment and intervention approaches in response to the child- and family-specific question, "WHAT IS THE BEST APPROACH FOR A GIVEN CHILD AND FAMILY?"
Over the years, the disciplines that work with developmental disorders have constructed a large body of research and clinical experience on the functional developmental capacities that are impaired in disorders of relating, thinking and communicating. This knowledge, however, needed to be brought together and organized. In response to this need, The Interdisciplinary Council on Developmental and Learning Disorders (ICDL) launched an initiative to systematize current clinical knowledge, including both research and the clinical experience of disciplines such as speech pathology, developmental pediatrics, neurology, occupational and physical therapy, psychology, social work, special education, and child psychiatry. The result of this effort is the ICDL CLINICAL PRACTICE GUIDELINES.
Product Description
The hidden emotional territory of women's lives--from the joys of belly dancing to the agony of caring for a dying child--is revealed in the pages of Dropped Threads: What We Aren't Told. Editors Carol Shields and Marjorie Anderson bring together 34 eclectic and engaging pieces by renowned authors (e.g. Margaret Atwood and Bonnie Burnard) as well as women whose day jobs include politics, child-raising, and cattle ranching. Marni Jackson's "Tuck Me In" is an entertaining account of conflicts with a teenage son who considers shampoo a culturally imposed artifact. Perhaps the most powerful essay is "Edited Version," in which Isla James describes her dying child's last days at home....
Customer Reviews:
Real people, real celebrations.......2000-01-13
I got this book because of the enthusiastic review in Robert Fulghum's "From Beginning to End" and it richly deserves his praise. Susan Lieberman felt the need to give her family a richer emotional life, and found that the conventional holidays and customs didn't satisfy in the context of modern American culture.
So for a couple of years she simply asked everyone she met whether they had invented any new family traditions. And she found dozens. She compiled the real experiences of real families -- simple accounts of what worked and what didn't in creating rich, satisfying family circles.
The suggestions are amazingly simple, yet endlessly inventive. There's the family that decided they would all (parents & 3 kids) walk the family dog after supper every night. Regardless of weather, out they go; walking in all sorts of different pairings and groupings depending on who has what on their minds to talk about. Or the "you are special" dinner plate which, hokey as it seems, works: it appears as the supper plate of whoever has a success or a birthday or any other reason to be feted by the rest of the family that day.
Simple ideas, worked out in real life by real people, to make real lives more resonant. This is a superb book that I'll be giving away as a present to at least 3 other families I can think of, next Christmas.
Average customer rating:
- American Fatherhood under a microscope
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Redefining Fatherhood
Nancy Dowd
Manufacturer: NYU Press
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Binding: Hardcover
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Accessories:
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Health o Meter HDC100-01 "Grow with Me" Teddy Bear Scale for Babies and Toddlers
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Braun IRT 4020 ThermoScan Ear Thermometer
ASIN: 0814719252
Release Date: 2000-07-01 |
Book Description
Most fathers parent less than most mothers. Those fathers who do parent equally or more so than mothers are poorly supported by our society. For children this means a loss of adult care, as well as an ongoing and sharply defined differentiation between fathers and mothers. Fathers are not present in children's lives to a significant degree, if at all, or when they are present, they are often rendered socially invisible. For many men, their parenthood is defined as biological or economic, while a minority of men struggle against the presumption that they are not caregivers.
In
Redefining Fatherhood, Nancy Dowd argues that this skewed social pattern is mirrored and supported by law. Dowd makes the case for reenvisioning fatherhood away from genes and dollars, and toward nurture. Integrating economic, social and legal aspects of fathering, she makes the case for focusing on social, nurturing behavior as the core meaning of fatherhood. In this nuanced and complex analysis, she explores the barriers to redefinition, including concepts of masculinity, the interconnections between fathers and mothers, male violence and homophobia.
Redefining Fatherhood offers a progressive view on how men, and society at large, can change understandings and practices of fatherhood.
Customer Reviews:
American Fatherhood under a microscope.......2001-06-14
This book begins with: "It's Father's Day. This year, we will honor fathers by making them more visible. We will not give them a day off but rather a day on, a day at the center of things...."
It is a given that most of our children are fatherless in the strictest sense of that word - we are plagued with an absence of fathers in our children's lives, for whatever reason - be they unmarried, divorced or workaholics. Practically the only use for fathers, is their ability to provide & that does not make for a caring, nurturing relationship that will raise healthy children.
How did fatherhood get this way? Professor Dowd explores, with impressive research, the state of fatherhood in America today - its historical context within in the family, the community & the law; on constitutional, biological & economic levels.
It is ironic that the very system of laws that were founded by & for men living within our erstwhile patriarchy, is now the very instrument by which men are dispossessed & vilified as fathers. Time for a change!
It's not so much that the Civil Rights' or Women's Movements changed the direction in which the evolution of our laws & ideas were going, so much as they sprang open the manacles that bound us to a system that was no longer working.
First the Industrial Revolution altered forever fathers' places within families, then the availability of divorce promoted father-absent families - thus setting the scene for the abandonment of fatherhood. With so many laws against a man who could not or would not fit the marriage pigeonhole, it is no wonder modern fathers have been more distant from their offspring than their patriarchal forefathers.
This is not an erudite book about trashing deadbeat dads nor a face-saving diatribe in favor of mealy-mouth moms - it is about men as nurturers, as caregivers to the children of our society. It is about redefining men's places in our children's lives - creating a new kind of fatherhood.
There is only one nation in the world today that has set its constitution & its economy toward a more gender-neutral, gender-equal fatherhood model & that is Sweden. We Americans have a lot to learn!
What a read - what a challenge! If you are at all interested in how fatherhood got the way it is & where it might be going; if you are wondering how the laws of our land have proscribed parenthood & marriage; if you're trapped in an unhappy, meaningless role model & want some new direction - then I suggest you read Redefining Fatherhood & take a look around you. We have much to do & Professor Dowd has given us an abundance of ideas & strategies.
Book Description
Liane Holliday Willey and one of her daughters both have Asperger Syndrome. In * Asperger Syndrome in the Familyshe looks, with honesty, wisdom and humor, at the implications this has for her family, both the Aspie and the non-Aspie members. Through personal vignettes, frank discussions and practical suggestions for dealing with everything from major to minor Aspie challenges, Liane, her husband and their three daughters bravely open their home to their readers, inviting them to look behind the curtains at their version of Aspie life. Not only does the book underscore the importance of mutual support and respect in an Aspie family - in fact in any family - it offers practical help for families in similar situations. This is a rich and positive book that will speak to all those whose lives have been affected by Asperger Syndrome.
Customer Reviews:
Her advice applies to families of all types.......2006-09-14
I have read her first book, "Pretending To Be Normal" and thought I was reading about myself. I have never been diagnosed with AS but have suspected that I have it for as long as I have known the condition existed.
This book is a combination of her family's story and advice from her perspective on marriage, child-rearing, and family living based on her experience as an "Aspie", in addition to being the parent of one and possibly the daughter of one as well. Much of the advice would apply to anyone. She does not discuss sexuality, since doing so would go places she might consider too personal to put in a book, but there are other books which address this.
She also mentions things that some people don't think about, like the suicide rate among autistic people (yes, it's much higher than average) and persuades people not to use drugs and alcohol as a substitute for a social life.
I especially appreciated her advice to not be ashamed of yourself or your "Aspie" relative, and on social skills development.
This book wouldn't be applicable to a lower-functioning person, but for someone who can, for instance, go to regular school, it's just right.
Practical advice, but lots of metaphors and ambiguity.......2003-11-16
This book contains a lot of practical advice on creating an autistic-friendly environment for yourself or a family member who is autistic. It encompasses everything from social skills to the arrangement of the home, and offers real-life suggestions for all of these things.
I am planning on using some of these suggestions in order to make my own home more livable given my sensory issues. The ideas about building a place to hide were particularly useful, as I have not had the ability to hide since my health deteriorated and my body lost the flexibility and resilience of childhood (I used to hide in closets and clothes hampers, but that would be a painful exercise in futility now). I plan to build an adult-friendly hiding place at the earliest opportunity, because I agree with the author that such places can be an essential part of dealing with overload.
The book also tries to emphasize the positive aspects of being autistic, which I saw as a good thing. Unfortunately, it falls into the trap of emphasizing specific autistic traits as universal positive ones, when in fact they are not universal. To say things like "We're good because we have average to above-average IQs" implies that those autistic people who do not are not so good. These sections also mention strengths, like visual thinking, that are nowhere close to universal in any sort of autistic person. This, to me, weakened rather than strengthened the case for autistic people being good as we are, because it made our adequacy sound as if it was dependent on certain abilities.
A problem I had with the book was its excessive use of complex metaphorical language. I understand that a lot of autistic people can use more of such language than we can understand, but I found it very difficult to get through this book when I had to ponder out the meaning of a metaphor every few paragraphs. It took me four readings just to finish it without getting overloaded and giving up. This was made worse by the lack of sufficient editing typical of this publisher, who left several misspellings, grammatical errors, and ambiguous sentences in the text.
The author goes back and forth on the issue of pretending to be normal, and of the developmental path of autistic people. She portrays being autistic as being okay. Then she portrays getting as close as possible to non-autistic as optimal. Then she talks about the hardships she faces specifically because of her ability to pass for normal, particularly the very real one whereby people mistake her acting job for reality and cannot believe the real issues she faces daily. There is no clear resolution of this issue, but the book provides some tips on acting normal in social situations (such as finding ways of mimicking others' behavior in a slightly modified fashion in order to fit the body language of a group) that could be useful in moderation, but detrimental if compulsively adhered to. At the same time, the author laments her daughter's strong desire to be like everyone else. There are a lot of mixed messages here.
While not having the same sort of autism I do -- we share some traits in common, but she has difficulties I don't, and seems completely oblivious to many of the difficulties I do have -- is not the fault of the author, it has definitely affected the readability and applicability of this book to my life. We are so different that, while I can clearly see the essential autisticness of her writing, it is nearly as alien to me as non-autistic people's writing is. Some other people I know have found this to be the case for them as well, while others find her writing unusually *easy* to read.
I would suggest reading some of her other writing to find out how easy this book would be to read and apply to your life or the life of your child. I would recommend this book much more highly for people who can identify with the general patterns the author describes, than for those who can't, although it can contain some useful practical information for all of us.
Now I'm beginning to understand.......2003-04-18
It wasn't until I read this book that I finally understood some of what my Asperger's son is going through. Although I have read many clinically oriented books, and I cognitively understood what was going on, it was this book that helped me to emotionally understand him.
This book led me to level with his siblings about his problem and add them to his support team rather than leaving them in the wake of his embarassing behavior and telling them to leave him alone. This book spoke very powerfully about needing and giving comfort to those who are scared -- and all of us are scared of something sometime. The author spoke convincingly of comfort packs that a person can take with them if they anticipate stress and need to be calmed. After reading that, I looked quite differently at my teenagers' Walkmans and my Asperger's son's unusual choice of modern equivalents to his old security blanket.
This book had a very positive effect on how my family has responded to all of our children, but especially my son with Asperger's.
The fact that this book was written by someone with Asperger's has another impact: hope for a supportive and fullfilling adult life for my son.
I would recommend this book to someone who is somewhat familier with the disorder. It wouldn't be the first book to read, but maybe the second or third.
Thank You Liane Holliday Willey.......2002-06-24
I am the "significant other" of a newly diagnosed Aspie. Last week I ended our one year plus relationship because I just couldn't face another day of trying to solve the NT/Aspie puzzle. I was trapped in a vicious cycle of confussion, frustration, anger, resentment and guilt. I searched the Internet endlessly for an answer...what is Asperger's Syndrome? The clinical definitions and observations were useless. I wanted to know why the man I loved chose to repeat previous conversations verbatim, mimic the gestures and actions of others and stand uncomfortably close to complete strangers. This book gave me the answers and it gave me hope. It has become my "owner's guide" or my "operating manual" if you will. Thanks to Liane Holliday Wiley I have found renewed strength to fight for the man I love.
What to do once you know who you are.......2001-11-10
I recommend this book even if you haven't read Liane Holliday Willey's previous book "Pretending to be Normal". It gives practical suggestions on how to deal with your daily life if you or a family member has Asperger Syndrome. I have used several of the suggestions myself. I believe there is a huge gap in the Asperger community that is starting to correct itself. That is, once you are diagnosed then...what do you do? After the initial relief of having a NAME for your disorder, what's next? I think that this book is another step toward self awareness. I highly recommend adding it to your Asperger library.
Book Description
Twenty-three women, teaching at colleges and universities throughout Canada, explore how traditional views of motherhood have been influenced by changing social and cultural conditions. Their essays unravel patriarchal constructions of motherhood and re-present new definitions drawn from women's lived experiences.
Book Description
A Note From the Author: I wrote this book about my learning disability, but this is for anyone who has his or her own special challenge. In this book I tell you about my struggles and accomplishments as a child and an adult with Dyslexia, with the hope that it will give you the strength and encouragement to help yourself or a loved one. I strongly urge you to read this book and apply it to your life. Don't ever give up on your dreams and always believe in yourself.
Customer Reviews:
Compelling.......2003-01-04
This is a moving story of a remarkable young man that offers inspiration and motivation to others with learning disabilities. His story tells how he established healthy self-esteem, maintained a love of learning, and became successful even though dyslexia significantly impaired his ability to read and write.
Average customer rating:
- A powerfully charged and vital self-help guide
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Firing Fido! How Radically Redefining Loyalty Unleashes True Leadership in Everyone's Work and Life
Chris Kozakis, MBA
Manufacturer: Trafford Publishing
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
Communications
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ASIN: 1412005655
Release Date: 2006-07-06 |
Product Description
Firing Fido!, the book that solves the #1 leadership problem in America according to Fortune magazine conflict management. A revolutionary approach to conflict which removes the obstacles that block success.
Customer Reviews:
A powerfully charged and vital self-help guide.......2004-05-18
Firing Fido! is a self-help guide to pursuing success by learning to overcome "Fido" - misplaced loyalty to a person, belief, or habit that is unworthy of it. Learning to embrace healthy confrontation, and make the decision to deal with an abusive boss, face down an individual who doesn't keep his promises, stand firmly for one's ideals when confronted with shady or unethical business dealings, or stand up for oneself whenever faced with obstacles to success. Step-by-step instructions to becoming a master of healthy conflict and making a strong will work for oneself and one's career make for a powerfully charged and vital self-help guide.
Average customer rating:
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Redefining Family Support: Innovations in Public-Private Partnerships (Family, Community, and Disability, Vol 1)
Manufacturer: Brookes Publishing Company
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
Social Services & Welfare
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ASIN: 1557662177 |
Books:
- Resolving Conflicts at Work: Eight Strategies for Everyone on the Job
- Rich Dad, Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach Their Kids About Money--That the Poor and Middle Class Do Not!
- Science Play!: Beginning Discoveries for 2-To 6-Year-Olds (Williamson Little Hands Series)
- Seven Habits Of Highly Effective Teenagers
- Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too
- Social Psychology
- Starting Out Right: A Guide to Promoting Children's Reading Success
- Staying Connected to Your Teenager: How to Keep Them Talking to You and How to Hear What They're Really Saying
- Stop Sitting on Your Assets: How to Safely Leverage the Equity Trapped in Your Home and Transform It Into a Constant Flow of Wealth and Security
- Story Stretchers for Infants, Toddlers, and Twos: Experiences, Activities, and Games for Popular Children's Books (Story S-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-r-s)
Books Index
Books Home
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- Ideas for the Future of the International Monetary System
- National System of Political Economy: The Systems/the Politics Book 3 and 4
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Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless & Hopeful
The New Intimacy: Open-Ended Marriage and Alternative Lifestyles
Survivors of an Open Marriage
Pagan Polyamory: Becoming a Tribe of Hearts
The Lesbian Polyamory Reader: Open Relationships, Non-Monogamy, and Casual Sex
