Average customer rating:
- Thank You For Writing The Disposable Male
- DARWIN EXPLAINED, MORE OR LESS
- Just one man's opinion
- At Last, Someone's Written it All Down
- Gender stereotypes recast in scientific jargon
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The Disposable Male: Sex, Love, and Money--Your World Through Darwin's Eyes
Michael Gilbert
Manufacturer: The Hunter Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
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ASIN: 0977655237 |
Product Description
In its fast paced, entertaining pages you will learn about the deep-seated forces that shape the behavior of today's men and women, and develop valuable tools for getting the most out of your relationships, your work, and your life. A rollicking ride--from the Big Bang to the day after tomorrow--The Disposable Male delivers a searching examination of what it means to be human in our modern, high-tech wonderland. It will have you looking at your world in a whole new and exciting way.
Customer Reviews:
Thank You For Writing The Disposable Male.......2007-06-19
As a 37 single male living in Hollywood, CA, your book provided me with an insightful and invaluable perspective into "how come" we men are where we are today without being "preachy" or redundant. By means of pragmatic logic, light hearted anecdotes and statistical analysis you paint an uncanny holistic "snapshot" of many sentiments that i too have felt about being "disposable" in modern society. Indeed, it is a relief to have some of these pent-up concerns finally unearthed and validated by someone with legitimate expertise on the subject.
Now that you have firmly established the "how come" part, I'm hoping you next delve further into the "how to's" of attaining, sustaining and mastering the more enticing role of "Indispensable Man". Perhaps a follow up book is in the works? I sincerely hope so...KS
DARWIN EXPLAINED, MORE OR LESS.......2007-02-01
I am an assistant professor teaching in a field related, but not directly applicable, to the book, which was brought to my attention by one of my students. I am, however, familiar with much of the science.
I would give this book an A for effort, with an overall grade of B+ (which I guess means 4 stars). The deductions are for the lack of footnotes (the author says above that they're coming to the book's web site, but there's simply too much here that's controversial to excuse the delay). The book also would have been better if opposing views were featured more often and if the language didn't occasionally sacrifice precision in favor of style.
That said, The Disposable Male is a very bold and highly-readable book. It may succeed where many others have failed and win the prize for conveying the story of evolution to the general public. It's been almost 150 years since Darwin's The Origin of Species was first published, and its implications couldn't be more relevant. The theory of evolution is still wildly controversial, at least in America, just look at some of our faithful school boards. This is where Gilbert shines. The impact of our ancient past, the crucial role our genes and hormones play, not to mention our biological predispositions, count for a whole lot, says the author, even in the way we live our hectic lives today. Near as I can tell, the underlying science is mostly within mainstream thinking and general references are sprinkled throughout the book. Deploying casual language, humor (sometimes side-splitting) and some vivid metaphors in the service of a very ambitious undertaking, Michael Gilbert lays out the Darwinian version of the creation story, educating readers about many crucial aspects of our modern existence. Placing the evolutionary spotlight he develops on contemporary times yields a diagnosis best summed up in his comment that, despite our social progress, "there are cavemen and cavewomen at the keyboards."
This ground has been tread by other writers. Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus actually uses evolutionary principles but it is several leagues beneath this book. Scholars such as Richard Dawkins, Steven Pinker, and Matt Ridley (as well as Robert Wright) aim their work above the heads of the ordinary American reader. Gilbert, who has a disarmingly casual way of talking about some very controversial things, gets it just about right, I think, even if he cuts the odd corner.
At its heart, The Disposable Male is a credo, a way of looking at life. The problem comes when you attempt to apply the philosophy to individual lives. There he, and the many thinkers in the field of evolutionary psychology, is on less firm ground. He's almost certainly correct when he argues that we've gotten too far away from nature. He also makes a point of saying that there is a great deal of variation within each gender when nature's laws are viewed in human terms. This can't be said enough and he probably doesn't.
Perusing the reviews here confirms my sense that this is a provocative, informative and entertaining book. It will elicit a wide range of genuinely heartfelt but not always sympathetic responses. To my way of thinking, that makes it a pretty good read. Here's how one thoughtful reviewer puts it below. "If there's a more accessible, broader, and enjoyable presentation of sociobiology/evolutionary insights, I don't know it." Neither do I.
Just one man's opinion.......2007-01-28
Not only was this book homophobic, the whole book was fiction strung together with quotes and studies that are not footnoted. Some of the studies I recognized and have been debunked. This is not to say that the topic is not a worthy one for discussion. However, the book was boring and amaturish. I was expecting the caliber of Jared M. Diamond or Sperm War by Robin Baker
A heterosexual male
At Last, Someone's Written it All Down.......2007-01-25
This book lays out a Darwinian view of life that says just about everything I think and feel about women and men, sex and romance and what family life is all about. In the first half the author takes you literally from the Big Bang to today. He lays out the evolutionary point-of-view in a funny and very interesting way, explaining how the original relationship evolved between the sexes. There are many interesting diversions along the way, about everything from how our brains developed, to the role our genes play in our make-up now, to the meaning of our sexual fantasies.
In the second half of the book Gilbert turns to our modern lives. Thats when he analyzes how our lives look when you look at it from this evolutionary position. How the lives of men and women today are in harmony with the past and how our lives now vary from it. This leads in to a lot of common sense ideas but also some controversial issues. In a way, its a conservative book but the more traditional values he puts forth are based on science, not on religion.
Feminists are going to hate this book but, as a woman, I found it very fair. In fact, he's pretty hard on men and often exalts the feminine values, especially in relationships. The author also makes a point of saying how these classical gender roles based on our natural history do not apply to everyone--that there are big differences among each gender. I highly recommend this book. You may not agree with it as much as I did but you're definitely in for an entertaining read.
Gender stereotypes recast in scientific jargon .......2007-01-24
The message of this book is simple: Women should step aside because the fact that they are doing "everything" nowadays (working and supporting families on their own) is leaving men without any direction or goals in life. This situation is also "unnatural," as men are meant to be the dominant sex and women are meant to devote their life to child rearing. How is this argument any different from that of conservative Christians? It isn't. It simply rephrases morality in pseudo-scientific terms: that which is "immoral" or "goes against God's wishes" is now "unnatural" or "disease-producing" (except for porn).
This book belongs to the bourgeoning genre of "masculinist" literature, a genre that argues that men, and consequently society as a whole, have become the victims of the agenda of radical feminists (I guess that would be me). The author tries to "seduce" women into accepting a passive and submissive role by telling us we have the moral high ground, that we women, with our lofty goals of marriage and motherhood, tame the savage (and very horny) beast called man when we insist on marriage in return for sex. While there may be some truth to this stereotype, it is not universal, nor is it a recipe for strong, lasting and sexually healthy, heterosexual relationships.
I would argue that if men are aimless, goofballs these days (and I don't think this is so), it's their responsibility to turn themselves around. Going back to the fifties: "no sex for you until you get a good job, marry me, and give me babies," is not going to give men a "real purpose" in life. Men, like women, need to find their own purpose in their lives. This is a human (existential) struggle, and for most of us it goes beyond (although for many it does include) the realm of our reproductive drives.
I've decided to give the book three stars this time (first review was not a hit), as as I found it thoroughly entertaining. No book has gotten me this worked up in a long time. I'm going to recommend it to all my "radical feminist" friends.
Book Description
Bob Barnes, bestselling author and devoted husband to author Emilie Barnes, helps wives discover what men think about priorities, desires, and life in his popular book (more than 85,000 copies sold)—now with a new cover.
Drawing from his experience and the experiences of men he has ministered to over the years, Bob reveals:
- why differences between men and women enrich marriage
- how a wife can fulfill the desires of her mate
- the importance of practicing spiritual submission
- how to affirm a husband’s spiritual leadership
Bob’s biblical “Love in Action†suggestions and principles remind a woman that her support builds a man’s sense of being loved and creates a foundation for a lasting relationship.
Customer Reviews:
Take time for each other.......2007-04-04
Reviewed by Debra Gaynor for Reader Views (3/07)
"God created men and women so that they would complement each other." "Men and women alike have strayed from God's design for marriage, and as a result, are at odds with their mates." Bob Barnes addresses many issues in his book, "What Makes A Man Feel Loved?"
Society has fostered lies on women:
"You can have it all.
Men and women are fundamentally the same.
Desirability is enhanced by accomplishment.
Your full potential must be realized.
Men and women view sex in the same way.
Motherhood can be postponed without penalty.
Today's women should abandon `softness' for `assertiveness.'
Speaking one's mind is better than listening.
A woman should be self-sufficient.
A woman should look for sensitivity, not strength in a man."
Many people get married thinking they can change their spouse. That's not true. "Remember ladies you are married to a sinner, and so is he. - Elisabeth Elliot"
Barnes uses scripture to back up his beliefs. "It is not good for man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him." Genesis 2:18.
We all need to feel needed. Men love to hear that their spouse needs them. "I need your help.... reinforces your husband's masculinity."
"Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For, if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up." Ecclesiastes 4:9-10." Paul tells us to bear the burdens of one another.
"What Makes a Man Feel Loved" by Bob Barnes is an excellent book. I agree with him that lies are being promoted in our society, lies that are tearing down the institution of marriage. Mr. Barnes uses common sense and scripture to back up his statements. I particularly enjoyed the suggestions for making your husband feel loved and I intend to try several. They are uncomplicated suggestions: bring him a glass of iced tea when he is working in the yard, plan his favorite meal, buy a fancy piece of lingerie and wear it for him. Mr. Barnes points out something very important, we need to take time for each other and do things together: sports, chores and hobbies. Tell him he's a hero. My husband is my hero. I would be so lost without him. This book is a tribute to men that love their wives and treat them with respect. This book shows women how to do the same. Well done Bob Barnes! It is with great honor that I recommend "What Makes a Man Feel Loved" to all married and unmarried women.
I am still looking for books and resources!!!.......2005-07-26
When I first started reading this book I was like yeah this happens to me and yeah I get this. But I am more than half way through it and it is becoming less enjoyable or I am not learning much perhaps. He repeats himself numerous times in each chapter which is fine to go over it again but it seems like he ran out of things to say. He uses a lot of other peoples info. from their books and such. He says we should be pretty and feminine and basically bow down to our husbands and make them our hero! He does throw in that if they are doing something that is questionable in terms of a religious standpoint then we shouldn't just let it go but otherwise let your man do what he wants and don't nag him about it. What does this mean???!!! I am supposed to let my husband look at porn but not let him have sex with someone else??? Where do we draw the line because peoples standards of where to draw the line are very different. Yes I know what he means but men are pigs! I have a super great husband but I still think he is a pig to some degree. Shouldn't men be responsible for their actions, etc.? It is o.k. because they are born that way or something??? There are just too many double standards between men and women!!! Women aren't allowed to get away with half the stuff men do! When we do it we sinners and when they do it they are saints???!!! I just don't get it! Then you have these books that tell us to get off their back!?! I was hoping I would learn something to "understand" men a little better but telling me basically to bow down to them and that will make my life better too?! I think it should be 50/50 and men need to grow up and and take account of their account of their actions, behaviors, etc. Perhaps that alone would make us bow down to them!!!
Astounding.......2005-06-24
I'm a guy. My fiancee asked my to read this book and leave notes in it for her to look into and so she would be a better wife to me.
Frankly I was amazed. I couldn't put the book down. It just spoke to me so personally. I kept finding myself saying, "yeah, that's me." To say the least the book is not filled with pen markings and scribbles. While I don't agree with everything he said -of course every guy is going to be different- I did find myself wanting a wife like the one Barns suggests his readers become. It is an excellent book. Should be a must read for every Christian wife.
*note: if you are not a Christian than some of the topics may seem unimportant or even confusing to you. However, don't worry too much, this is not an intro to Christianity and he soon gets to some more practical things.
Be the Christian wife you husband wants you to be.......2004-08-24
I think this was a fantastic book for every wife out there that wants to love, encourage, and motivate her husband. It has Christian-based principles, which I love. Nothing in here is too hard to do. Bob Barnes shows you how to express your appreciation, admiration, adoration, commitment, love, passion, and lust for yoru husband. It has some chapters based on other books, like His Needs, Her Needs. (Another awesome book!) This is truly a great book. Buy it now!
An excellent Biblically based guide for marriage.......2002-04-02
Despite what other reviewers have said, I did not, in any way, get the impression that Mr. Barnes was suggesting that women should be a man's maid or that they cannot succeed in a career. Rather, he is suggesting that we all, men and women, use the Bible as our guide in our relationships. He suggests that we both look in ourselves for our individual strengths and weaknesses and rather than compete with each other, we should compliment each other. We should also work to make our relationship with our spouse the biggest priority in our lives, above careers, other interests, etc. Too often we allow outside interests and influences distract us from our true beliefs and values. I am a computer consultant, mother and wife and found this book to be truly enriching and inspiring. If you want to be married for the next 50 years, and are willing to follow the Bible, this is the book for you!
Book Description
The differences between men and women can lead to deep intimacy and joy in a marriage relationship. These same differences can also tear a marriage apart. This entertaining, practical, humorous, and distinctively Christian look at the differences between the sexes offers solutions to men and women who want to successfully bridge the gender gap. Readers will begin to understand the different levels on which men and women operate in every interaction, and learn specific techniques to connect in conversation. Couples will laugh at familiar male-female scenarios and, at the same time, learn how to complement each other and build real passion in their relationships.
Customer Reviews:
Good thoughts, but needs a bit of maturing.......2006-09-09
I am still reading this book, and want to post a few thoughts.
The basic thoughts about the differences between the way men and women think and respond are good, but Dr. Clarke's presentation seems to need some maturing and developing. There are humorous ways of presenting his basic ideas (men DO have clam-like ways to respond to a woman's probing, women tend to keep on prying when the man has clammed-up), but they come across as being too flippant. His writings sometimes fall into "Do what I recommend, and your marriage will work as promised." Real life and real people do not always work that way. One partner can do everything right, and their partner just may not respond in a positive way. They may, but there is no guarantee.
I am going to finish the book, looking for useful ideas (there are several), but so far, I am somewhat disappointed. I think Clarke's writings should be updated when he has an additional 20 years or so of experience to temper his enthusiasm with some hard knocks of real life.
A Must Read for All Couples.......2003-12-21
David Clarke does an amazing job at humorously, yet informatively describing the differences between men and women in "Men are Clams, Women are Crowbars." Clarke uses an informal style that helps the reader to feel comfortable while learning about problems that he or she has in opposite sex relationships. Clarke uses rhetorical questions, metaphors, and allusions to make this self-help book fun and interesting to read. With comparisons of men and women using "I Love Lucy", male lions, and the Bible, the author produces a comical, yet practical approach to understanding men and women's differences and making them work. And in rhetorically speaking of the lion, Clarke says, "He is the leader to be admired and respected. Or is he"(59)? I thoroughly enjoyed this book and recommend it to all couples, even those not married or engaged. "Men are Clams, Women are Crowbars" really helped me to understand the men in my life better.
Mandatory reading for couples.......2001-10-04
This book is insightful, humorous, easy to read and understand. It is an essential book for libraries and a great gift idea for weddings. One critical part of the book talks about what happens to men if they don't express their feelings. This part is a little underemphasized because these repercussions (from not expressing emotions) are marriage threatening, addictive and destructive behaviors. There are other books that handle those topics I guess. However, I wish the author would have bolded or underlined this small section. It is easily missed. This is a book I will have on hand for gifts. It is a mandatory read!
Not that Impressed by this Book.......1999-12-24
I was hoping for something new and different, but this is the same old recycled stuff we've been hearing for years. I found Dr. Clarke to, at times, be extremely patronizing to his reading audience. Not every woman is a crowbar. Sometimes, unfortunately, there are 2 clams in a relationships which really leads to relationship problems. If you really want a good book on relationships, read some of the books by Florence Littauer and her husband. When my husband and I read their book, we found unique ideas and improved communication tools we could really use. Sorry, but for the more mature couple (50+ years old) this book didn't offer anything we haven't heard before.
Thsi is the ordinary person's best guide to relationships!!!.......1999-06-01
This book held my interest from beginning to end. I would recommend this to all couples who are even thinking about marriage.
Book Description
"Why is he like that?"
If you’ve ever asked yourself, Who is this man I’ve married? What motivates him? Why isn’t he more responsive to my needs? then Understanding Your Man in the Mirror will shed light on the things that perplex you most in your marriage. In the vulnerable style that has become his trademark, Patrick Morley does for you what he did for your mate in the best-selling, award-winning The Man in the Mirror. He opens a window into the things that make your husband tick--insights that will have you saying, "Now I understand!"
A pioneer in the Christian men’s movement, Morley draws on extensive research and on his own vast experience of working with men to help you
* learn about the forces that have shaped your husband.
* understand the powerful need for significance that drives him.
* find out about his struggles with work, success, money, time, and temptation.
* discover what your husband needs most from you.
* learn practical guidelines for resolving conflict and creating the kind of communication you’ve both wanted.
Book Description
A tremendous conflict occurs between men and women when unfulfilled expectations exist. In this important book, widely acclaimed marriage counselor H. Norman Wright reveals the "secret" behind the psychological makeup of men-how they think, what they want, what they fear and how they respond to women.
Book Description
Even though our society has made great strides forward since the civil rights era, racial reconciliation remains an unresolved issue in the church. Norman Peart, founding pastor of a multiracial church and a sociologist, argues that reconciliation is basic to the church's purpose, even though the church has consistently viewed the topic as peripheral to its ministry. Peart shows through Scripture that, far from being optional, racial reconciliation is at the heart of the church's mission.
Aimed at pastors, church leaders, and concerned Christians, Separate No More focuses on three areas: the historical basis for America's race problem, the biblical message of racial reconciliation, and suggestions for change in the church.
Customer Reviews:
Great Intro (but overly focused on Pentecostal churches).......2001-07-30
I bought this book at a recent Promise Keepers rally, and it's a great introduction to racial reconciliation. It gives a solid overview of the black experience in evangelical and Pentecostal denominations, and helps whites and blacks understand the barriers that need to be transcended for vital, biracial congregations.
I was a little disappointed, however, that the book focuses too much on Pentecostal denominations. In fact, all the ministers interviewed for this book were from churches like the AOG and COGIC. Very little attention is paid to Roman Catholicism, which itself has a very checkered history in regard to race relations in America, and the abolitionist activities of most mainstream Baptists are mentioned once before the once-aberrant views of the SBC on race relations become the focus of discussion as far as Baptists are concerned. (Except for the aberration of the SBC, the Baptists have an almost unparalleled history of excellent race relations, and credit should be given where credit is due. I personally think that the SBC should have disbanded and re-constituted itself as a new organization to erase the pro-slavery stain that the SBC inflicted on the Baptist name.) I was a little turned off by the excessive focus on churches like the AOG, COG, and COGIC, since I don't feel these groups are very representative of the mainstream of American evangelicalism and Christianity in general. But despite the somewhat unrepresentative sample of denominations, the suggestions in the book are easily applicable to any denominational church, and it's well worth reading.
Book Description
Unlike any book ever written on the spirit of man this book takes the deepest spiritual concepts and breaks them down to help Christians grow spiritually. This book will equip you with prophetic insight and understanding of Biblical principles to fulfill your Kingdom purpose. This book challenges paradigms and will challenge you to grow spiritually in every area of your life and person. This book challenges traditional religious concepts and perceptions of God and His nature. This book ultimately challenges readers to seek a deeper relationship with Father and motivates you to bear His mark in your life. This book will reach to the depths of your soul to bring healing and restoration. It will reform your heart and thinking. It will bring hope and life to your spirit man.
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