Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High

Book Description

The New York Times Bestseller!

Learn how to keep your cool and get the results you want when emotions flare.

When stakes are high, opinions vary, and emotions run strong, you have three choices: Avoid a crucial conversation and suffer the consequences; handle the conversation badly and suffer the consequences; or read Crucial Conversations and discover how to communicate best when it matters most. Crucial Conversations gives you the tools you need to step up to life's most difficult and important conversations, say what's on your mind, and achieve the positive resolutions you want. You'll learn how to:

Prepare for high-impact situations with a six-minute mastery technique
Make it safe to talk about almost anything
Be persuasive, not abrasive
Keep listening when others blow up or clam up
Turn crucial conversations into the action and results you want

Whether they take place at work or at home, with your neighbors or your spouse, crucial conversations can have a profound impact on your career, your happiness, and your future. With the skills you learn in this book, you'll never have to worry about the outcome of a crucial conversation again.

Download Description

Crucial Conversations offers readers a proven seven-point strategy for achieving their goals in all those emotionally, psychologically, or legally charged situations that can arise in their professional and personal lives.

Customer Reviews:

Wrong audio book sold........2007-10-16

The seller had the wrong book down for sale. It would be easy to do since the author had a similar named book. I was very impressed with the quick response to correct the problem. They credited the whole amount back and said I can keep the book. It is great to see a trustworthy, reputable, seller out there today - doing the right thing. I would highly recommend doing business with this seller again.

great business tool.......2007-10-01

ordered 15 copies to distribute around our department... received rave reviews from everyone who read it.

Great Insight, Good Tools.......2007-09-21

Wow! It's amazing how often I see my friends, family and MYSELF in both examples and in the strategies (some good, some bad!).

This is a great book to come upon when one needs it. Obviously, some have been forced to read it by a boss... and I'm not so sure that the message gets across that way.

Does this book cure all of the social inequities of the workplace? Of course not - that's not what it even attempts to do!

Rather, it's a series of tools for enhancing communication and, for many of us, these tools are a surprising way of looking at all conversations - particularly the non-productive ones.

Do I recommend this book? 100%!!! Would I give it as a gift to someone who "needed" it? Maybe not. It's best found when the time is right, not forced on someone when the time is wrong.

Very good..........2007-09-18

Very good book for succesful managers, but also for amateurs interested in improving their communication skills. Of course, for some professionals that one may be "just another one".

Ignores conversational reality.......2007-09-06

Do we need a book to tell us that if we and/or our conversational partners are overly emotional or argumentative, create an uncomfortable or unsafe setting, clam up, will not listen, are incapable of adaptation or appreciating other views, or are not overly bright that chances for conversational success are greatly diminished. The author's message is that in the absence of these negativities, that basically free-flowing dialog where all the relevant information is brought into the open will result in effective communication. The emphasis in the book is within business organizations, in particular between employees and employers, although the ideas pertain to all other so-called high stakes conversations between various persons. However, the book absolutely fails to deal with conversational reality.

It is readily obvious that the authors are consultants to the business community (managers), because of their dismissal of the power differentials in the workplace. Their citing of a few brave employees who questioned or contradicted a top manager, serves merely to reinforce the hazards to employees for speaking out in the workplace. Of course, such non-controversial topics as safety, productivity, or where to have the company picnic can be broached. Fundamental topics such as policies, strategies, products, marketing, structures, or personnel are invariably off limits. If the authors wanted to be serious about conversations within businesses, they would propose democratic participation structures, where workers or their elected representatives could freely, without fear of retribution, address any and all issues, not just the safe ones. Bravery or putting one's job on the line would not be necessary.

It is hardly just within businesses where crucial conversations are prevented despite one's best efforts. Bureaucracies and other barriers are often initiated specifically to prevent conversations. Try talking to an insurance company about drug or treatment denial. Try talking to a sales person about a corporate product or service. Try getting through a telephone answering system only to be stonewalled by an "associate." Try talking to a doctor about treatments or, better yet, fees. Try talking to a department head about the nature or conduct of your education. The list is endless where most people do not have a chance of a meaningful or effective conversation.

This book is like so many other "blame the victim" notions. If you are not having good conversations, it must be because "you" don't have the right "tools" to converse. It can't be that the person you are talking to has the power to inflict damage or is within a structure where they can simply ignore you or dispense pabulum. A democracy is based above all on wide-ranging conversation among equal citizens with hopefully widely accepted resolutions. Maybe some day in the US we will try a form of democracy within all of our organizations in which "conversations" are not one-sided with the possibility of punishment for even speaking. Now there is an idea for the authors to grasp.

Average customer rating:

Wanna build your network - listen to Carnegie !
Great for improving people skills
Life's a Stage...
BORING
Impressive!

How to Win Friends & Influence People
Dale Carnegie
Manufacturer: Pocket
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Communications | Skills | Business & Investing | Subjects | Books

General | Job Hunting & Careers | Business & Investing | Subjects | Books

General | Business & Investing | Subjects | Books

Interpersonal Relations | Relationships | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Personal Transformation | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Success | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
Similar Items:

How to Stop Worrying and Start Living
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
Think and Grow Rich
Rich Dad, Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach Their Kids About Money--That the Poor and Middle Class Do Not!
The Magic of Thinking Big

ASIN: 0671027034

Amazon.com

This grandfather of all people-skills books was first published in 1937. It was an overnight hit, eventually selling 15 million copies. How to Win Friends and Influence People is just as useful today as it was when it was first published, because Dale Carnegie had an understanding of human nature that will never be outdated. Financial success, Carnegie believed, is due 15 percent to professional knowledge and 85 percent to "the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership, and to arouse enthusiasm among people." He teaches these skills through underlying principles of dealing with people so that they feel important and appreciated. He also emphasizes fundamental techniques for handling people without making them feel manipulated. Carnegie says you can make someone want to do what you want them to by seeing the situation from the other person's point of view and "arousing in the other person an eager want." You learn how to make people like you, win people over to your way of thinking, and change people without causing offense or arousing resentment. For instance, "let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers," and "talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person." Carnegie illustrates his points with anecdotes of historical figures, leaders of the business world, and everyday folks. --Joan Price

Book Description

YOU CAN GO AFTER THE JOB YOU WANT...AND GET IT! YOU CAN TAKE THE JOB YOU HAVE...AND IMPROVE IT! YOU CAN TAKE ANY SITUATION YOU'RE IN...AND MAKE IT WORK FOR YOU!

For more than sixty years the rock-solid, time-tested advice in this book has carried thousands of now famous people up the ladder of success in their business and personal lives.

Now this previously revised and updated bestseller is available in trade paperback for the first time to help you achieve your maximum potential throughout the next century! Learn:

* THREE FUNDAMENTAL TECHNIQUES IN HANDLING PEOPLE

* THE SIX WAYS TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU

* THE TWELVE WAYS TO WIN PEOPLE TO YOUR WAY OF THINKING

* THE NINE WAYS TO CHANGE PEOPLE WITHOUT AROUSING RESENTMENT

Customer Reviews:

Wanna build your network - listen to Carnegie !.......2007-10-14

Winning friends and influencing people is not an easy thing. Are you gregarious? Do you want to be a networking juggernaut? You should listen to what Dale Carnegie says.

"Do you want to get the attention of others? Watch out what actors do in advertisements and movies". This is such a simple technique that we all fail to recognize in our day-to-day life. "Do more listening than talking" - hmm, another simple technique. Carnegie explains how you can win friends and influence people, with a lot of stories.

This book is a must-read for those who want to build their network.

Great for improving people skills.......2007-10-13

As many will agree, I find this book and the book Understanding: Train of Thought to be quintessential in anyone's library. The information and advice given in these books transcends all boundaries and all areas of human activity. Some of my lessons from these books were that the principles of success in any endeavor are the same, regardless of who you are. Being programmed by the mediocrity around us, we feel that just because we have stopped growing physically when we reach adulthood, we do not need any more teaching. But these books remove that blindfold and demonstrate why we must always be in the learning mode, like students. Being humans and social creatures by nature, it is our sacred duty to learn, practice, teach and then teach others to do the same in improving our people skills and understanding of others.

Life's a Stage..........2007-09-30

Wow..."A Reader" seems extraordinarily bitter...

Every day you go to work, you are on a "stage"...as in "It's show time, folks!" The working world is highly competitive, and a necessary tool to all but guarantee your success is deception. This book/author teaches the art of deception. Whether or not the reader chooses to use this information to his/her advantage is a matter of personal choice.

This book has a purpose, and successfully presents that purpose, hence the four-stars...

BORING.......2007-09-18

...I put the book down after 3 chapters, and haven't picked it back up since. Go with "7 Habits..." by Covey and/or "The Four Agreements" (Author skips my mind)

Impressive!.......2007-09-09

I finally can win many friends and influence people! Another bestseller that I recommend - How to be a Super Hot Woman: 339 Tips to Make Every Man Fall in Love with You and Every Woman Envy You

For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men

Average customer rating:

Revolutionary
Great things come in small packages
Shaunti Feldhahn is not just an author, she is an EXCELLENT communicator.
THIS IS A REALLY GOOD BOOK
Extremely Helpful and Practical!

For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men
Shaunti Feldhahn
Manufacturer: Multnomah
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

Interpersonal Relations | Relationships | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

General | Religion & Spirituality | Subjects | Books
Similar Items:

For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women
Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
For Women Only Discussion Guide: A Companion to the Bestseller about the Inner Lives of Men
For Young Women Only: What You Need to Know About How Guys Think
The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate

ASIN: 1590523172
Release Date: 2004-07-28

Book Description

What’s going on in a man’s mind? From their early days, every woman has struggled to understand why males behave the way they do. Even long-married women who think they understand men have only scratched the surface. Beneath a man’s rugged exterior is an even more rugged, unmapped terrain. What bestselling author Shaunti Feldhahn’s research reveals about the inner lives of men will open women’s eyes to what the men in their life—boyfriends, brothers, husbands, and sons—are really thinking and feeling. Men want to be understood, but they’re afraid to “freak out” the women they love by confessing what is happening inside their heads. This book will guide women in how to provide the loving support that modern men want and need.

The Truth About His Inner Life

He Desperately Wants You to Know

What's going on in there? Ever been totally confused by something your man has said or done? Want to understand his secret desires and fears, his daily battles that you know nothing about?

In a woman-to-woman conversation you’ll never forget, Shaunti Feldhahn takes you beneath the surface into the inner lives of men. This book is about the things we just don’t ‘get’ about guys. With findings from a groundbreaking national survey and personal interviews of over one thousand men, For Women Only is full of eye-opening revelations you need to not only understand the man in your life, but to support and love him in the way he needs to be loved. Grounded in biblical hope, you will discover how to love your man for who he really is—not who you think he is.

Story Behind the Book

I had no idea how clueless I was about men until I interviewed a bunch of them for my last novel. Initially, I just wanted a little insight so I could write my main (male) character. But pretty soon I found myself astonished, over and over again blurting out, “That’s what you’re thinking?” So I did more interviews. After the novel hit shelves, dozens of women told me they also had been astonished by what I included. Clearly I wasn’t the only one who needed more insight on this!

To lay the groundwork for this nonfiction book, I wrote out the half-dozen things from these interviews that had most surprised me—things that appeared to be universal to most men—that women desperately needed to know. I conducted a professional national survey of men to test my findings. Yep—the survey substantiated every single one. These findings are fascinating—and they have already changed my life and marriage. I can’t wait to share them!

Customer Reviews:

Revolutionary.......2007-10-11

To begin with, I was blown away by this book. What an impact such a small volume has made in my relationship with my dear fiance' as well as with my brothers and father. So, why is this book so good? Firstly, it is written with the idea of informing about the way men think. How many of us are totally confused about men? Yeah, most of us. And men don't talk a lot about their "feelings" so it is very difficult to get an honest answer. This book is an absolute blessing in that measure. It shows why men have trouble being romantic, why they need women's respect so much and (possibly the most revolutionary chapter) why they want SO MUCH sex.

I will not explain, b/c the book does that, but I will say that once I read the book my eyes were completely opened to why my fiance' reacts the way he does to my actions. And I began changing my actions and... well I will just say that although Caleb and I have always had an incredible relationship, this just made things even more beautiful.

To the reviewer who complained that the book made wives too subservient I would answer, firstly, read her book "For Men Only". Both books are interested in teaching wives and husbands to better serve eachother. Secondly, women are not at all put down in this book. Rather wives are shown to be the one factor in their husbands' lives that really makes the crucial difference between men feeling like a success or a failure. This book really is empowering to women because it is basically like, "You can make the crucial difference... Oh yeah, here's how."

While some points in this book may not be accurate for all men (I am blessed with a man who is the "King of Romance" as my mom says, and who will always talk about his feelings) it really has something for every relationship. If you are working to cultivate a blessed, beautiful marriage, you will find this book to be of great value.

Great things come in small packages.......2007-08-31

I have read a lot of books trying to understand my fellow homosapiens and this did not most terrific job. I relate to my brothers, coworkers, leaders, and men I've dated so much better. I judge less and I find that I'm less insecure around men now.

Shaunti Feldhahn is not just an author, she is an EXCELLENT communicator........2007-08-20

For Women Only is the result of a survey of 400 men across the country who responded to a questionaire about their relationships. This book points out seven areas in which women have a surface understanding of men's needs or desires and delves into each subject in a way that leaves the reader grasping what that statement really means.

For example, the first point is that "men need respect". That seems obvious enough, but Feldhahn brings this into perspective with her survey result that 74% of the men would rather feel "alone & unloved" instead of "inadequate & disrespected", if they had to choose one of the two options. She then elaborates on this with several follow-up examples of ways women can either demonstrate respect or show a lack of respect. Some of which we don't usually connect with showing disrespect. On page 24, she quotes Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, "In a relationship conflict, crying is often a woman's response to feeling unloved, and anger is often a man's response to feeling disrespected."

I would highly recommend this book to any woman who is serious about wanting to improve her relationship with her husband. The author has a way of transforming something you think you know into something you can apply to your everyday life, which isn't always an easy task.

THIS IS A REALLY GOOD BOOK.......2007-08-20

MOST INFORMATIVE. FIND THINGS U MIGHT THINK YOU KNOW AND IF YOU DONT DO A LOT OF RESEARCH ON RELATIONSHIPS THIS IS SOMETHING YOU PROBABLY WOULD NEVER NO OR UNDERSTAND IF YOU DONT READ THE BOOK

Extremely Helpful and Practical!.......2007-08-14

Realizing that there is always room for improvement, my wife and I have made it a practice over our almost 25 years of marriage to read marriage articles and books regularly. Nothing that we know of comes close to the helpful and pracitical insight we have received from "For Women Only" and it's companion book, "For Men Only". We strongly recommend it to every married couple. These two books, along with "Sheet MUsic" by Kevin Leman and "The Book of Romance" by Tommy Nelson are at the top of our list.

Walking on Eggshells: Navigating the Delicate Relationship Between Adult Children and Parents

Average customer rating:

Don't bother
A must read for parents with grown children
So, I am not alone....
Disappointing
false relationships

Walking on Eggshells: Navigating the Delicate Relationship Between Adult Children and Parents
Jane Isay
Manufacturer: Flying Dolphin Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

Interpersonal Relations | Relationships | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

General | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

General | Family Relationships | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books

Parent & Adult Child | Family Relationships | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books

General | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books
Similar Items:

I'm Still Your Mother: How to Get Along with Your Grown-Up Children for the Rest of Your Life
Leap!: What Will We Do with the Rest of Our Lives?
I Only Say This Because I Love You: Talking to Your Parents, Partner, Sibs, and Kids When You're All Adults
EMPTY NEST, THE: 31 PARENTS TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS, LOVE, AND FREEDOM AFTER THE KIDS FLY THE COOP
Without a Map: A Memoir

ASIN: 0767920848
Release Date: 2007-03-27

Amazon.com

Jane Isay, the editor who discovered Mary Pipher's Reviving Ophelia and commissioned Rachel Simmons' Odd Girl Out, has written an insightful, compelling book about "the delicate lifelong bond between grown kids and their parents." Isay traveled across the country and interviewed nearly 75 people (including dozens of parents and grown children), and Walking on Eggshells shares moving stories that will help parents and grown children build strong new adult relationships with one another. We asked Po Bronson, author of Why Do I Love These People?, to read Isay's book and give us his take. Read his review below. --Daphne Durham

Guest Reviewer: Po Bronson

Po Bronson is the author of the brilliant bestseller What Should I Do with My Life?, the powerful and poignant Why Do I Love These People?, a hilarious novel called The Bombadiers, and The Nudist on the Late Shift, a collection of "true stories" about Silicon Valley.

When we tell family stories, we so often focus on the beginning and the end. The beginning is the two decades of our childhood and adolescence, and it's been the favorite narrative arc ever since Freud. What happens in your childhood does not stay in your childhood--it haunts the rest of your life. In the last decade, we've suddenly heard more stories of the end--narratives constructed around a parent's death, and often the year spent caring for that parent on their deathbed.

Because these are the conventional narratives, they often distract our attention from the many decades in between. We barely even have a terminology for these years--and the terms we employ sound like oxymorons: "Adult Children," "Parents of Adults." There's an old saying: you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family. In the beginning this is true--we're in the care of our parents, like it or not. And in the ending this is also true--they're in our care, like it or not. But in the long middle, this isn't so true. The middle is a period where both child and parent can keep their distance, if they prefer. And often do, harboring resentment. We too often accept that this is just the way it is. "She's never going to change" is a common, fatalist refrain.

In Walking on Eggshells, Jane Isay shines a much-needed light on these years. With a graceful respect for the families she investigates, she tells their stories--how they lost their love, and how they regained it. Isay covers the many ways families develop resentment, and the many techniques they employed to make peace. She shows that small changes in routine can go a long way to restoring goodwill. But it's not a self-help book; it's more of a literary contemplation, and we learn more by inspiration than by emulation.

Though this book addresses the parents directly, I suspect it will be passed back and forth, between generations, in many a family. --Po Bronson

Book Description

On giving advice:
They Don’t Want It.
They Don’t Hear It.
They Resent It.
Don’t Give It.

We raise our children to be independent and lead fulfilling lives, but when they finally do, staying close becomes more complicated than ever. And for every bewildered mother who wonders why her children don’t call, there is a frustrated son or daughter who just wants to be treated like a grownup. Now, renowned editor Jane Isay delivers the perfect gift to both parents and their adult children—real-life wisdom and advice on how to stay together without falling apart.

Using extensive interviews with people from ages twenty-five to seventy, Isay shows that we’re far from alone in our struggles to make this new, adult relationship work. She offers up groundbreaking insights and deeply moving stories that will inspire those in even the toughest situations. Isay’s warmth and wit shine through on every page as she charts an invaluable course through the confusing, and often painful, interactions parents and children can face. Walking on Eggshells is the much-needed road map that will keep you connected to the people you love most.

Customer Reviews:

Don't bother.......2007-10-11

I can save you some money...there is little hope for having any kind of loving relationship with adult children unless you are willing to be a doormat.

A must read for parents with grown children.......2007-09-30

I have insisted to several friends that as parents of adult children, they too, MUST buy the book. I even bought extra copies myself and gave to relatives. It's a "keeper" in my library.
Thank you, Jane Isay for the shared revelations.

So, I am not alone...........2007-09-28

Just when I thought I was all alone in the "inapt Mother-in-law" category, I read the book with such relief!!! Alas, I have company!!!

Disappointing.......2007-09-10

This book makes some good points but didn't go deep enough to help me. I found "When Parents Hurt: Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don't Get Along" to be far more helpful because the author, Dr. Joshua Coleman, provides much more guidance for a range of situations and goes into much more depth for this very difficult problem.

false relationships.......2007-09-10

I was expecting more from this book than I got. The basic premise stated over and over is: Don't give advice, and hold your tongue. This seems to foster false and fake relationships. Would you want someone to "pretend" they adore you, when thet really can't stand you? I think most people want relationships that are true and real. I was hoping for a book with more advice on how to deal with specific situations, not just "keep everything to yourself" I was dissapointed in the author.

Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss what Matters Most

Average customer rating:

Will you ever have a hard conversation? Sure, you will! Read this book first.
Difficult converations
great read
Best Book on Communication
Quality of Life Must Read

Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss what Matters Most
Douglas Stone , Bruce Patton , Sheila Heen , and Roger Fisher
Manufacturer: Penguin (Non-Classics)
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Interpersonal Relations | Relationships | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Conflict Management | Relationships | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

General | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

General | Parenting | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books

Communication | Words & Language | Reference | Subjects | Books
Similar Items:

Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In
Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High
Getting Past No
Crucial Confrontations
Fierce Conversations: Achieving Sucess at Work and in Life One Conversation at a Time

ASIN: 014028852X
Release Date: 2000-04-03

Amazon.com

We've all been there: We know we must confront a coworker, store clerk, or friend about some especially sticky situation--and we know the encounter will be uncomfortable. So we repeatedly mull it over until we can no longer put it off, and then finally stumble through the confrontation. Difficult Conversations, by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen, offers advice for handling these unpleasant exchanges in a manner that accomplishes their objective and diminishes the possibility that anyone will be needlessly hurt. The authors, associated with Harvard Law School and the Harvard Project on Negotiation, show how such dialogues actually comprise three separate components: the "what happened" conversation (verbalizing what we believe really was said and done), the "feelings" conversation (communicating and acknowledging each party's emotional impact), and the "identity" conversation (expressing the situation's underlying personal meaning). The explanations and suggested improvements are, admittedly, somewhat complicated. And they certainly don't guarantee positive results. But if you honestly are interested in elevating your communication skills, this book will walk you through both mistakes and remedies in a way that will boost your confidence when such unavoidable clashes arise. --Howard Rothman

Book Description

Members of the Harvard Negotiation Project--which brought you the mega-bestseller Getting to YES--show you how to handle your most difficult conversations with confidence and skill.

Whether you're dealing with an underperforming employee, disagreeing with your spouse about money or child-rearing, negotiating with a difficult client, or simply saying "no," or "I'm sorry," or "I love you," we attempt or avoid difficult conversations every day. Based on fifteen years of research at the Harvard Negotiation Project, Difficult Conversations walks you through a step-by-step proven approach to having your toughest conversations with less stress and more success. You will learn:
how to start the conversation without defensiveness
why what is not said is as important as what is
ways of keeping and regaining your balance in the face of attacks and accusations
how to decipher the underlying structure of every difficult conversation

Filled with examples from everyday life, Difficult Conversations will help you on the job, at home, or out in the world. It is a book you will turn to again and again for advice, practical skills, and reassurance.

"Does this book deliver on [its] promise of an effective way through sticky situations, whether 'with your baby sitter or your biggest client'? It does."-- The New York Times

"These talented communicators blend a daunting array of disciplines into highly readable and practical advice."-- Booklist

"Brilliant. . . . I've already re-read most of it. I'm using it. What more could a reader ask?"-- Tom Peters

"Emotional Intelligence applied to life's tough moments."-- Daniel Goleman

Download Description

"What is a difficult conversation? Asking for a raise. Ending a relationship. Saying ""no"" to your boss or spouse. Confronting disrespectful behavior. Apologizing. Conversations we dread, and often handle clumsily as a result, are part of all our lives: in boardrooms and family rooms, across the negotiation table and the dinner table. Now, Difficult Conversations teaches us how to handle these dialogues with more success and less anxiety. How does it work? Based on fifteen years of research and consultations with thousands of people, Difficult Conversations pinpoints what works. The authors discovered that regardless of context, the same small but crucial errors are what trip us up--and a few key adjustments can make all the difference. * The role of emotions--ours and theirs * The impact of what is said and what is not said * Why admitting our mistakes will put us in a stronger position * The truth behind the myth that women are better at expressing their emotions than men * How to respond productively in the face of personal attacks Who is this for? Filled with examples from everyday life, Difficult Conversations is certain to be an instant and lasting classic for families, neighbors, bosses, employees, customers, tenants, landlords, psychologists, teachers, and more. Who are the authors? Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen teach at Harvard Law School and at the Harvard Negotiation Project. They have consulted to countless businesspeople, governments, organizations, and communities including all parties to the negotiations on constitutional transition in South Africa; school teachers in Medellin, Colombia; and community leaders and the police department in Springfield, Massachusetts. They lecture throughout the world and have written on negotiation, conflict resolution, and communication. Bruce Patton is co-author of Getting to Yes."

Customer Reviews:

Will you ever have a hard conversation? Sure, you will! Read this book first........2007-09-21

This little book can be a great help. We all have avoided conversations we knew were going to be difficult. Often not talking made things worse, so as things became intolerable we had the discussion and things got even worse. These authors break down the inner structure of difficult conversations and how we often mishandle them. They then show us the ways in which we can turn this into a constructive process that brings more understanding, greater cooperation, and learning that will help avoid repeating the difficulties in the future.

Certainly, I can't recap the whole book in this little review, but I especially like their concept of three conversations happening within each difficult conversation. They are the debate over what happened, the feelings conversation, and the identity issues. In the what happened conversation the problem is that each side assumes it knows the truth, that they know the other party's intentions, and that they know where and how to assign blame. Of course, all this is a fiction and a waste of time. It does nothing to fix the situation or improve the process to avoid the problem in the future. The book then shows you how to have a constructive approach to the same problem. Excellent stuff!

The authors are part of the Harvard Negotiation Project and has a foreword by one of the authors of the famous book, "Getting to Yes". The book is concise, but full of very good information. I recommend it very much.

Reviewed by Craig Matteson - Ann Arbor, MI

Difficult converations.......2007-09-17

this book is well worth the read,
it is easy to get throught, and does not repeat itself.
You want to read the whole book.
nancy carlson

great read.......2007-08-27

This book is used as a textbook at the Harvard MBA. Good tool for those messy conflicts

Best Book on Communication.......2007-08-24

This is the most useful and comprehensive compendium of effective, research validated, communication concepts I have ever seen in one book. Useful for anyone who speaks with other humans, especially significant others, business colleagues and teenagers. If you are a coach, this reading is required. Difficult ideas presented in a way that makes them easy to understand and easy to apply.

Quality of Life Must Read.......2007-08-04

Difficult Conversations, by Stone, Patton, and Heen, is a foundational book in the literature of holding difficult conversations in purposeful ways. I have read it often and use its principles in my teaching and in daily life. Underlying its principles is the simple understanding that we can get better at listening, talking, and acknowledging what is actually going on in our relationships; that we create the reality of our lives by the ways in which we talk about it; and that one conversation at a time, we can choose to work with the energy of conflict instead of avoiding it. There are many good books on this topic. I suggest reading them all, starting here.

Judy Ringer is the author of Unlikely Teachers: Finding the Hidden Gifts in Daily Conflict

Human Side of Organizations, The (9th Edition)

Average customer rating:

Good Service
Exceeded Expectations

Human Side of Organizations, The (9th Edition)
Michael Drafke
Manufacturer: Prentice Hall
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

General | Business & Investing | Subjects | Books

Human Resources & Personnel Management | Industries & Professions | Business & Investing | Subjects | Books

General | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Grammar | Words & Language | Reference | Subjects | Books

Behavioral Psychology | Behavioral Sciences | Science | Subjects | Books

All Titles | Qualifying Textbooks - Fall 2007 | Stores | Books

Business & Investing | Qualifying Textbooks - Fall 2007 | Stores | Books

Reference | Qualifying Textbooks - Fall 2007 | Stores | Books

Science | Qualifying Textbooks - Fall 2007 | Stores | Books
Similar Items:

Guide to Managerial Communication (7th Edition) (Guide to Series in Business Communication)
Brief English Handbook, The (8th Edition)
Learning to Think Things Through: A Guide to Critical Thinking Across the Curriculum (2nd Edition)
Asking the Right Questions: A Guide to Critical Thinking (8th Edition)
Writing and Reading Across the Curriculum, Brief Edition (2nd Edition)

ASIN: 0131183842

Book Description

"The Human Side of Organizations" delivers complete, up-to-date, practical information on how people behave in organizations presented in a readable, easy to understand form. The vital information can be used to understand managers, peers or workers. If you work, you need this information to thrive and survive. FOCUS BOXES/Reality Checks - Bring the work world as it really is into every chapter./Question of Ethics - Presents ethical questions related to the particular chapters' material./A Global Glance - A look at an international aspect of a chapters' concepts./FYI - A new focus box for the 9e./Presents useful hints readers can apply in their daily lives. Anyone who wishes to better understand managers, peers, or workers can benefit from this book as it covers the vital skills needed to survive and thrive in an organization.

Customer Reviews:

Good Service.......2007-02-24

Received Book in about 2 weeks after purchase. Book was in excellent condition. Good Service.

Exceeded Expectations.......2005-09-30

My textbook came sooner than expected and it was in great condition! The savings were unbelievable and I actually recommended using this seller to everyone in my class.

How Full Is Your Bucket? Positive Strategies for Work and Life

Average customer rating:

Brand new - just like she said!
Great Book!
Real Positives for a Negative World...
How Full is Your Bucket?
Excellent

How Full Is Your Bucket? Positive Strategies for Work and Life
Tom Rath , and Donald O. Clifton
Manufacturer: Gallup Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

Workplace | Organizational Behavior | Business & Investing | Subjects | Books

Management | Management & Leadership | Business & Investing | Subjects | Books

Motivational | Management & Leadership | Business & Investing | Subjects | Books

General | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Happiness | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Personal Transformation | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Success | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Applied Psychology | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

General | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

General | Mental Health | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Now, Discover Your Strengths
First, Break All the Rules: What the World's Greatest Managers Do Differently
Vital Friends: The People You Can't Afford to Live Without
The One Thing You Need to Know: ... About Great Managing, Great Leading, and Sustained Individual Success
StrengthsFinder 2.0: A New and Upgraded Edition of the Online Test from Gallup's Now, Discover Your Strengths

ASIN: 1595620036

Book Description

How did you feel after your last interaction with another person? Did that person — your spouse, best friend, coworker, or even a stranger — "fill your bucket" by making you feel more positive? Or did that person "dip from your bucket," leaving you more negative than before? The number one New York Times and number one Business Week bestseller, How Full Is Your Bucket? reveals how even the briefest interactions affect your relationships, productivity, health, and longevity. Organized around a simple metaphor of a dipper and a bucket, and grounded in 50 years of research, this book will show you how to greatly increase the positive moments in your work and your life — while reducing the negative. Filled with discoveries, powerful strategies, and engaging stories, How Full Is Your Bucket? is sure to inspire lasting changes and has all the makings of a timeless classic.

Customer Reviews:

Brand new - just like she said!.......2007-09-05

I ordered 25 books that were supposed to be in good condition. They were even better. They were just like new. They were missing one of the supplementary items as was clearly stated up front. I am completely satisfied.

Great Book!.......2007-08-27

Another new bestseller which I recommend - The Exclusive Layguide: When Dating and Having Sex with Incredibly Hot Women is No Longer Mirage Even If You Don't Look Like a Model or Don't Make a Fortune

Real Positives for a Negative World..........2007-08-03

I have probably referenced this book more in my training seminars and speaking engagements than any other book I have ever read. I just love it! (I gave everyone in my family a copy for Christmas) The author states that 99 out of 100 people report that they would like to be surrounded by more positive people. "And the church said; AMEN!" This short, interesting, and succinct read teaches the reader how to become one of those "more positive people." A must read about positive psychology for anyone who has to be around negative people in our negative world. I think that pretty much includes all of us, doesn't it?

SUCCESS: It Just Ain't That Hard Y'all! Three Things to STOP Doing and Three Things to START and KEEP Doing to Reach Your Greatest Potential

How Full is Your Bucket?.......2007-07-29

The book assigns theoretic valuations to philosophic concepts.
For instance, a full bucket has a net positive outlook + Energy
from every drop of strength expended. Relentless negativity leads to
death. The North Koreans broke down peer cohesiveness by insisting
that captors confess their transgressions publicly.

The author believes that regular praise= increased productivity,
tenure, loyalty and satisfaction. People leave when they aren't
appreciated sufficiently. Bad bosses increase stroke risk.
Activiely disengaged employees cost employers upward of $50B a
year or more. A strength of the book is that the authors attempt
to quantify universal concepts within practical contexts of
everyday life. To a considerable extent, the authors succeed.

Excellent.......2007-07-27

This was a great book that I handed out to my staff. Everyone found it valuable for life not just work.

Motivational Interviewing, Second Edition: Preparing People for Change

Average customer rating:

Good in a litigious society
Great book for counselors or perspective counselors.
A Must Read
Motivational Interviewing
Very helpful instructional manual

Motivational Interviewing, Second Edition: Preparing People for Change
William R. Miller , and Stephen Rollnick
Manufacturer: The Guilford Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

Substance Abuse | Recovery | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Interpersonal Relations | Relationships | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Compulsive Behavior | Mental Health | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

General | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Psychoanalysis | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Psychotherapy, TA & NLP | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

General | Medicine | Subjects | Books

All Amazon Upgrade | Amazon Upgrade | Stores | Books

Health, Mind & Body | Amazon Upgrade | Stores | Books

Medicine | Amazon Upgrade | Stores | Books

Professional & Technical | Amazon Upgrade | Stores | Books

All Titles | Qualifying Textbooks - Fall 2007 | Stores | Books

Medicine | Qualifying Textbooks - Fall 2007 | Stores | Books

Professional | Qualifying Textbooks - Fall 2007 | Stores | Books
Similar Items:

Changing for Good: A Revolutionary Six-Stage Program for Overcoming Bad Habits and Moving Your Life Positively Forward
Group Treatment for Substance Abuse: A Stages-of-Change Therapy Manual
Substance Abuse Treatment and the Stages of Change: Selecting and Planning Interventions (Guilford Substance Abuse Series)
Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder
Theory and Practice of Group Psychotherapy

ASIN: 1572305630

Book Description

Since the initial publication of this breakthrough work, motivational interviewing (MI) has been used by countless clinicians. Theory and methods have evolved apace, reflecting new knowledge on the process of behavior change, a growing body of outcome research, and the development of new applications within and beyond the addictions field. Extensively rewritten, this revised and expanded second edition now brings MI practitioners and trainees fully up to date. William R. Miller and Stephen Rollnick explain how to work through ambivalence to facilitate change, present detailed guidelines for using their approach, and reflect on the process of learning MI. Chapters contributed by other leading experts then address such special topics as MI and the stages-of-change model, applications in medical, public health, and criminal justice settings, and using the approach with groups, couples, and adolescents.

Customer Reviews:

Good in a litigious society.......2007-05-22

This book is a compilation of papers written by over 35 professors outstanding in their field. They all offer different views of MI but basically they are in accord as to its effectiveness. What struck me as being the single greatest aspect of this technique is that there is no way that the patient can misconstrue what you are saying, as you are basically reflecting back the very ideas the patient is using for the patient to examine. In this way, the possibility for lawsuits is greatly minimized. And this is a good technique for the new therapist unsure of themselves.
-the author of the book The Vampire Tom Bartek

Great book for counselors or perspective counselors........2007-05-16

This is a terrific book on counseling. Insightful, practical and an easy read! Contains excellent examples.

A Must Read.......2007-03-23

Excellent resourse for the person interested in helping others in a host of different treatment settings. For people in the helping fields, this technique offers new ways of viewing treatment resistance, goal ambivalence, and goal achievement. In utilizing this technique, we enable the client/consumer to be able to formulate plans and goals for themselves in the future, returning them to an increased level of functioning in the community. The adaption of MI in various treatment settings with divergent clients has long been awaited.

Motivational Interviewing.......2007-02-09

This is a good book to read and keep. The chapters are easy to read because they are not too long. The information is easy to grasp, apply and retain. I definitely recommend this book.

Very helpful instructional manual.......2007-01-09

I love this book. The second edition is a big improvement over the first as it makes the MI approach more generic (as it should be) and less tied specifically to substance abuse. I regularly use this book when teaching beginning therapy skills to doctoral students in clinical psychology, but it's not just a book for beginners. What I like is the way Miller & Rollnick spend a lot of time talking about generic skills fundamental to any healthy therapeutic relationship -- and especially their discussions about different types of reflective listening and dealing with resistance. The MI approach is especially helpful in dealing with clients who are struggling with ambivalence about their problems (or about being in therapy) -- which happens with great frequency in any practice (not just with substance abusers or court-ordered clients). I wish I had had this book 30 years ago when I was starting out as a therapist. I love teaching from it because I can still pick out gems even now. MI fits well with all sorts of other psychotherapy techniques, including client-centered, cognitive-behavioral, and strategic/structural.

Introducing Npl: Neuro-Linguistic Programming

Average customer rating:

Not very good actually
The best NLP Introduction
Magnificent
Outstanding
Great intro

Introducing Npl: Neuro-Linguistic Programming
Joseph O'Connor , and John Seymour
Manufacturer: AQUARIAN PRESS
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Communications | Skills | Business & Investing | Subjects | Books

Interpersonal Relations | Relationships | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

General | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Personal Transformation | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Success | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Applied Psychology | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

General | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Linguistics | Words & Language | Reference | Subjects | Books
Similar Items:

NLP: The New Technology of Achievement
The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists
The Art of Seduction
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion (Collins Business Essentials)
The Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women Into Bed

ASIN: 1855383446

Book Description

NLP skills are proving invaluable for personal development and professional excellence in counselling, education, and business.

Customer Reviews:

Not very good actually .......2007-06-11

The book presents a few ideas and techniques from the field of psychology (ie critical thinking) but , because its an introduction, does not go into any real depth. It leave the reader feeling a bit cheated really. Anyone who's really serious can get more knowledge by picking up a few college level text books in psychology and skip this introduction.

The best NLP Introduction .......2007-05-24

I consider myself a dabbler in NLP and have read several books on the topic. Perhaps, "attempted to read" might be a more accurate depiction. I found the works by Bandler and Grinder and the Andreas's very difficult to get through. At the other end of the spectrum, there are other works on NLP or NLP-related techniques that are quite readable but seem geared towards those lacking all self-esteem. This book by O'Connor and Seymour is an easy-to-read, logical, and objective overview of NLP without the claims of life-altering benefits.
For those interested in using NLP to improve communication skills and learn more about how our minds work, this book is the place to start.

Magnificent.......2005-12-29

Informative, Logically sequenced book. I loved it. I wished if it has more illustrations, styling design, and format. It would have made it even more appealling.

Outstanding.......2005-09-05

I very much wanted to get into this little known science of NLP, brainchild of Richard Bandler and John Grinder, for some time. After careful examination of similar books I chose this one after reading some of the page excerpts.

Boy am I glad I did!! This book lays a framework and gives the fundamentals to this awesome science, and does so with such grace and ease that it is mesmerising. It simply and eloquently explains how you can use your brain to it's fullest potential and how to use your senses to design ways to get what you've always wanted.

NLP - Neuro Linguistic Programming (don't be turned off by the fancy title) is simply a way of life to help you succeed. It is the language used by winners - the science and art of NLP was invented by studying what successful people do differently to everyone else; how their mindsets allowed them to succeed where others fail.

It's little wonder that this book has got 5 stars from practically everyone who has bought it. It changed my life, and if you are looking for ways to get where you want to be in life then go for it.

Great intro.......2005-09-01

This book takes you right to the core without success stories and other stuffings. Info-packed as it is, it brings you into NLP quick and effortless, describing the concepts in a clear and consistent manner. Recommended reading for all NLP starters.

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert

Average customer rating:

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Gu
A must for couples considering marriage/long-term partnership
A must have in protecting one's marriage!
researched through many, this one the best
seven principles of making a marriage work

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert
John M. Gottman , and Nan Silver
Manufacturer: Three Rivers Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Interpersonal Relations | Relationships | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Marriage | Relationships | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

General | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
Similar Items:

Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last
The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships
Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child: The Heart of Parenting
Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples
Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships

ASIN: 0609805797
Release Date: 2000-05-16

Amazon.com

According to most relationship books, the key to a solid marriage is communication, communication, communication. Phooey, says John Gottman, Ph.D., author of the much-lauded Why Marriages Succeed or Fail. There's much more to a solid, "emotionally intelligent" marriage than sharing every feeling and thought, he points out--though most couples therapists ineffectively (and expensively) harp on these concepts.

Gottman, the director of the Gottman Institute, has found through studying hundreds of couples in his "love lab" that it only takes five minutes for him to predict--with 91 percent accuracy--which couples will eventually divorce. He shares the four not-so-obvious signs of a troubled relationship that he looks for, using sometimes amusing passages from his sessions with married couples. (One standout is Rory, the pediatrician who didn't know the name of the family dog because he spent so much time at work.)

Gottman debunks many myths about divorce (primary among them that affairs are at the root of most splits). He also reveals surprising facts about couples who stay together. They do engage in screaming matches. And they certainly don't resolve every problem. "Take Allan and Betty," he writes. "When Allan gets annoyed at Betty, he turns on ESPN. When Betty is upset with him, she heads for the mall. Then they regroup and go on as if nothing's happened. Never in forty-five years of marriage have they sat down to have a 'dialogue' about their relationship." While this may sound like a couple in trouble, Gottman found that they pass the love-lab tests and say honestly that "they are both very satisfied with their relationship and they love each other deeply."

Through a series of in-depth quizzes, checklists, and exercises, similar to the ones he uses in his workshops, Gottman provides the framework for coping with differences and strengthening your marriage. His profiles of troubled couples rescued from the brink of divorce (including that of Rory, the out-of-touch doctor) and those of still-happy couples who reinvigorate their relationships are equally enlightening. --Erica Jorgensen

Book Description

John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage by using rigorous scientific procedures to observe the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over many years. Here is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Packed with practical questionnaires and exercises, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.

Download Description

Packed with practical questionnaires and exercises, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.

"An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent -- and long-lasting -- marriage."
   DANIEL GOLEMAN, AUTHOR OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

"Gottman stays refreshingly down to earth, rather than on Mars and Venus."
   BILL MARVEL AND GEOFFREY NORMAN, AMERICAN WAY

"Gottman comes to this endeavor with the best of qualifications: he's got the spirit of a scientist and the soul of a romantic."
   NEWSWEEK

"Twenty-five years of landmark marital research."
   USA TODAY

"Offers something every relationship can benefit from."
   SEATTLE POST-INTELLIGENCER

"Astonishing new research!"
   WOMAN'S WORLD

Customer Reviews:

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Gu.......2007-10-15

This is a great book! I have read many relationship books and this is clearly the best. It is so easy to read and offers a lot of practical guidance. There are step by step exercises for you and your partner to work on together. Rebuilding and re-aquainting with each other. I found it to be hopeful and reassuring. It has helped me immensely in my relationship. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is looking for help in your relationship.

A must for couples considering marriage/long-term partnership.......2007-09-30

My fiancee and I decided to be proactive and visit a psychologist before we had any relationship issues and before we got married. He recommended Gottman to us, and what a fabulous recommendation it was! Reading "Seven Principles" really illustrated with lucidity what it was about my parents' marriage that has always bothered me (contempt from my mother in their arguments) and gave clear steps on how to avoid this and other relationship killers. It was very reaffirming in that it doesn't tell couples not to fight (because how realistic is that?), but teaches them how to fight and how to agree to disagree. My fiancee is in the process of reading it now, and I'm excited for him to finish so we can talk it over. The last principle, in particular, is really great for people who already have solid relationships...it made me excited to get married!

A really excellent book overall, Gottman's writing style is clear and concise!

A must have in protecting one's marriage!.......2007-09-26

This book is absolutely essential in the treatment of marriage or couple counseling, as well as can be used by anyone interested in strengthening their own marriage/relationships. It is helpful because it is basic, layed out in a very simplistic manner, and is an easy reader. The book offers concrete instructions for couples on how to improve their closeness, connection, and communication. It is also based on scientific studies thereby offering value and effectiveness of the techniques illustrated in the book. I would highly recommend it for struggling couples, those considering divorce, as well as couples with a good relationship seeking a closer bond.

researched through many, this one the best .......2007-09-05

This author uses common sense and clinical study and marries the 2 together,
He gives simple, thought provoking questions and daily/weekly effective deeds to do. Insightful and effective. We're using it to help others but aNYONE can take a few hints from this even MR and MRS perfectly happy.

seven principles of making a marriage work.......2007-08-23

great book that I had initially borrowed from my therapist. Was enlighteneing. Made me recognize a lot about myself and my spouse. I recommend it for newleyweds and other couples as well; I myself have been married for 10 years. It can be used preventitively or as a couselling guide or just to provide some insight into what you may be feeling or going through with a significant other. It made me realize my thoughts and actions were not "crazy" but rather common.

Books:

Books Index

Books Home

Recommended Books