For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence

For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence
Average customer rating:

life changing book

Permission to Know

Liberation from destructive beliefs

The most enlightening book I've ever read

Cry it from the Mountain Tops

For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence
Alice Miller
Manufacturer: Farrar, Straus and Giroux
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Development | Child Psychology | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
General | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
General | Parenting | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books
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Accessories:

Braun IRT 4020 ThermoScan Ear Thermometer

ASIN: 0374522693

Amazon.com

Miller explores the backgrounds of extreme cases of self-destructive and violent individuals to further her theories on longterm consequences of abusive childrearing. Her conclusions about what creates a drug addict, a murderer, even a Hitler, stray far from psychoanalytic dogma about human nature. Miller paints a jolting picture of the violent world each generation helps shape when traditional upbringing, with its hidden cruelty, is perpetuated. She also offers a way out by striving to resensitize the child in the adult, to unlock an emotional life frozen in repression.

Book Description

For Your Own Good, the contemporary classic exploring the serious if not gravely dangerous consequences parental cruelty can bring to bear on children everywhere, is one of the central works by Alice Miller, the celebrated Swiss psychoanalyst.

With her typically lucid, strong, and poetic language, Miller investigates the personal stories and case histories of various self-destructive and/or violent individuals to expand on her theories about the long-term affects of abusive child-rearing. Her conclusions—on what sort of parenting can create a drug addict, or a murderer, or a Hitler—offer much insight, and make a good deal of sense, while also straying far from psychoanalytic dogma about human nature, which Miller vehemently rejects.

This important study paints a shocking picture of the violent world—indeed, of the ever-more-violent world—that each generation helps to create when traditional upbringing, with its hidden cruelty, is perpetuated. The book also presents readers with useful solutions in this regard—namely, to resensitize the victimized child who has been trapped within the adult, and to unlock the emotional life that has been frozen in repression.

Customer Reviews:

life changing book.......2007-02-22

I wish that everyone in America, no, in the world, could or would read this book. I imagine what a different world would be born out of the consciousness and the compassion that this book brings to light. It has helped me to become aware of how little I have ever been allowed to experience or express my authentic responses in life. This knowledge, of course, then suddenly opens up the doors for the feelings I have banished all of my life. If you care about children, if you care about humanity, if you care about yourself, read this book. I believe that the ideas contained within it offer hope for the understanding and transformation of so much suffering that is present in our world. If you are able to take in its content, it will change your awareness. This book is well worth every dime and minute that I spent on it. One of the most important books I have read, and I read A LOT.

Permission to Know.......2006-04-10

I remember reading "Great Expectations" in school and feeling a shock of recognition when the narrator mentioned that he'd been "brought up by hand." I realized I had been brought up by hand too; by the palm of the hand, the back of the hand, or whatever implement was near enough for that hand to grab and swing. After the smack or swat came the welts and the tears and then the command to "stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about." As a rule, a natural response to that pain and humiliation was not allowed. Nor was any other expression of frustration or anger. Not only did I not have a right not be physically harmed, but I didn't have a right to my feelings about either.

Alice Miller's words have given me a context in which to understand my childhood experience, and to begin to look at it honestly as well as the effect it's had on my life. While I know have a better understanding of why I adopted various personal characteristics and made certain choices as an adult, her book has helped strengthen a resolve I formed as a child: that if I ever had children of my own, I would never use physical punishment on them; I would never deny them their feelings as I'd been denied mine.

Today I have a three year old son who at least doesn't know what it's like to be beaten by the parents who are supposed to love and protect him, or to have his feelings and his personhood denied. I decided a long time ago that if I could help it, my children would know that there's a better way. Alice Miller's words give me hope that there is such a way, and that I might find it if I continue to pay attention.

Liberation from destructive beliefs.......2005-07-27

"For Your Own Good" is a powerful book about the inhuman, monstrous treatment of children that so many people and societies practice, accept and defend. It brings about the vital understanding that we must change how we treat our children and that we must end and abolish the violence directed against them in order to create a world without violence. It makes us realize that children are the most vulnerable, weak human beings, who need respect, love, compassion, forgiveness and mercy. It helps us see that we must take seriously our own childhood pain so that we may overcome its consequences and grow as parents.
Ever since I read "For Your Own Good", about 25 years ago, I have wanted to write about the impact, which this book has had on my life. Then, within a few days, I read it twice. I felt as if my mind connected with something hidden inside of me that I had always known. This book gave me the hope that I was not born with the hopeless suffering and self-hatred that depressed me and stole my aliveness, creativity and self-confidence. It empowered me to realize what I had known all along--that the way I was treated as a child was wrong, and that the childhood pain I had endured had formed me, my mind and life in destructive, tragic ways.
For the first time in my life I felt that I was not alone but as if there was someone at my side who encouraged me to look at things in my own way, to trust my feelings, my perceptions, observations, and thoughts, and to question the paralyzing obedience and blindness I had been raised with, which had eradicated that I could know and be true to myself.
It was a tremendously powerful experience. I entered therapy for the first time two years later, and from then on my life changed its course profoundly. (More about that can be found on my website, especially my essay "Facing a Wall of Silence.)
"For Your Own Good" opened my eyes to the abuses and cruelty that had been my childhood reality, but that I was trained to ignore, overlook and regard as "for my own good." Through reading this book, I became consciously aware of that this was not true--something I had been emotionally aware of, without being allowed and able to feel it and to think it. It described the meanness and cruelty that had filled my daily life as a child--but that I had had to perceive through my parents' eyes. Their physical, verbal and emotional attacks turned me always, and without fail, into the guilty, bad and evil one.
It took many years to unburden my mind, body, and soul from these mountains of guilt I was buried under and to accept the painful reality that my family was unwilling to hear and support me. I owe my life and freedom to the clear and unapologetic insights, which Alice Miller's "For Your Own Good" provided me.

The most enlightening book I've ever read.......2005-02-20

Reading this book only one year ago illumined so many things about the world for me, and aided in my coming to very necessary realizations about my own life. I saw a lot of myself in the story of Jurgen Bartsch; not in his actions, but in his history. It is his story, told in his own words that come to put a true, human face back onto his visage. Alice Miller's gentle, sympathetic yet forthright examination of his life and that of Adolf Hitler as well as Christiane make this work so penetrating and incredible; and yet that is what makes so many people run from it.

It is a continuing, mass delusion that has kept the facts of what really caused the Holocaust from coming to fore until this book. So many have the attitude that "history must be taught," despite the fact that listing events with no real explanation (as social or cultural theories cannot really explain most things) is not really productive, and what is most important to understand is one's own, personal psychic history.

The insights that can be gained from this, and all of Alice Miller's other books truly need to be made available to all of the world; her courage in continuing to publish these works is inspiring, and I hope I'm not the only who feels that way. We still have a chance to awaken, to quell the sleep of emotional blindness that allows for apathy and senseless cruelty to run the world. We, as damaged children, need not continue to destroy ourselves or each other because of the trauma and lies fed to us so early in life by our parents and other adults who did not deserve the 'respect' they so unquenchingly demanded of us.

As a reply to another review here:
Alice Miller's work is as uncompromising as the title of this book is. Someone who makes statements such as "the child sets the limits" clearly does not agree with people such as 'james dobson' who advise sexual abuse (spanking) and manipulation towards innocent children under the guise of 'discipline.' I've read almost every one of Alice Miller's books, and she speaks out against 'discipline' in all of them, because 'discipline' is just the latest word to be used for continuing the cycle of abuse, used because it isn't fashionable anymore for pedagogues to be more explicit and claim that children are actually demons.

Cry it from the Mountain Tops.......2004-02-05

This book should be recommended to all civic organizations that deal with children and families. It should be distributed in churches, synagogues and mosques. If we want to save our families and our future, we need to know what has formed violence in our world. It starts in families.

Miller is balanced in her approach telling that violent families beget violent offspring. Telling is her chronicling of the late 1800s and early 1900s Europe spawning the generations that produced Nazism.

Can we learn from our mistakes and save our future generations from violence, crime, brutality and retribution from the abused?

This book is a must for parents to help them to understand the difference between discipline and abuse and avoidance of future angry generations.

You're On Your Own (But I'm Here if You Need Me) : Mentoring Your Child During the College Years
Average customer rating:

Letting Go WIth Grace

Must Read For Moms and Dads of HS Grads

Even Better than Parent Orientation

You're On Your Own (But I'm Here if You Need Me) : Mentoring Your Child During the College Years
Marjorie Savage
Manufacturer: Fireside
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

General | Education | Nonfiction | Subjects | Books
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ASIN: 0743229126

Book Description

Realistic and practical advice for parents of college-age kids

Parents whose kids are away at college have a tough tightrope to walk: they naturally want to stay connected to their children, yet they also need to let go. What's more, kids often send mixed messages: they crave space, but they rely on their parents' advice and assistance. Not surprisingly, it's hard to know when it's appropriate to get involved in your child's life and when it's better to back off.

You're On Your Own (But I'm Here If You Need Me) helps parents identify the boundaries between necessary involvement and respect for their child's independence. Marjorie Savage, who as a parent herself empathizes with moms and dads, but who as a student services professional understands kids, offers advice on wide-ranging issues, including:

• How to cope with your family's mood changes in the months before move-in day on campus
• Why students complain about the food but still manage to gain fifteen pounds their first year
• How to teach basic financial responsibility, including the handling of credit cards and academic expenses
• When parental intervention is critical

With anecdotes and suggestions from experienced parents and college staffs nationwide, the strategies and tips provided throughout will help you to create a loving, supportive partnership responsive to the needs of both you and your children.

Customer Reviews:

Letting Go WIth Grace.......2006-11-04

"You're on Your Own" and "Letting Go" (Coburn/Treeger) are both insightful companions for an emotionally intense moment of parenting. Another great book for sending a young adult into the world with the loving counsel of the people important to him or her (YOU!) is "Words to Live By: A Journal of Wisdom for Someone You Love" (Emily/Kate Marshall).

Must Read For Moms and Dads of HS Grads.......2005-05-25

This is a great book for parents of high school seniors to help prepare for eventual empty nesting. Sending your kid to college is like potty training, you know you have to do it, but you aren't so sure if you'll live through it. But of course they do learn to use the toilet and they move away to college as well (hopefully in that order)!

Marjorie is very thorough in explaining what to expect every step of the way. It prepares you for orientation, moving, visits home, etc., so you can do your best to help you and your "child" navigate the college maze. She covers all angles, so if junior will be commuting or moving to the other side of the country, you'll get guidance.

I now have two daughters at University of Minnesota where Marjorie heads the University of Minnesota parent office and does a super job. My friends have kids at other universities and they are amazed at how in touch I am with the happenings on campus because of the weekly update U-MN parents get. It's so much easier to have a conversation with your kid if you are enlightened. She makes sure we know what they need to do when (like registering or paying bills) so we don't have to nag the kid. At U-MN we are lucky to have her, now everyone can benefit from her insight and wisdom.

Even Better than Parent Orientation.......2004-03-07

I got more out of the first chapter of this book than I did from two days of Parent Orientation at my son's college! The author obviously empathizes with college students as well as with their parents. Kids who are starting college can do some pretty bizarre things that parents can't always understand. This book explains things from the parents' point of view as well as the students'. It just makes sense. And it gives me a lot of hope.

Defining your Own Success: Breastfeeding After Breast Reduction Surgery

Average customer rating:

Immensely Helpful Book!
breast feeding information
Informative & Kindly Written
INCREDIBLE resource
EXCELLENT !!

Defining your Own Success: Breastfeeding After Breast Reduction Surgery
Diana West
Manufacturer: La Leche League International
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Family Health | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books

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Medications and Mothers' Milk (MEDICATIONS AND MOTHER'S MILK)

Accessories:

Health o Meter HDC100-01 "Grow with Me" Teddy Bear Scale for Babies and Toddlers

ASIN: 0912500867

Book Description

This book was written to enable mother who have had breast reduction surgery to breastfeed their babies. although written directly to the mother who wishes to breastfeed after reduction, this book is also a valuable resource for health care professionals--surgeons, physicians, midwives, pediatrics and maternity nurses and lactation consultants. This first of its kind publication addresses questions and myths whether its possible to breastfeed after breast reduction surgery.

Customer Reviews:

Immensely Helpful Book!.......2007-06-13

This book is informative and encouraging - and HIGHLY recommended for any doctor, mid-wife, or nurse, as well as for anyone who has had this type of surgery.

breast feeding information.......2007-05-13

I am pregnant with my second child and bought this book in hopes of nursing the baby when it is born. It is a very informative, well-written book and has a lot of good information for those who are considering or have had a breast reduction, and want to nurse.

Informative & Kindly Written.......2006-12-23

I've read multiple breastfeeding books. I purchased this as I'm considering having another child and had a reduction surgery about 5 years ago. I was amazed at the informative yet gentle tone of this book. Most breastfeeding books regard formula as toxic waste. "Defining your Own Success" clearly states that it is often necessary and guilt should not prevent you from recognizing that it may be needed. The sections on types of surgeries and their effects on nursing are clinical but not too technical for the average reader. I finished this book with a feeling of hope and the knowledge that I desperately needed.

INCREDIBLE resource.......2005-01-14

This book is an incredible resource, and not just for those breastfeeding after reduction surgery. It contains wonderful breastfeeding info from how the breast works to herbs/drugs available to increase supply.

Oh yeah, and it also contains wonderful and complete information, as well as personal stories, regarding breastfeeding after reduction surgery!

I got this book while pregnant, and it really helped me set realistic expectations for what to expect. My supply turned out to be really low and it has invaluable resources for ways to increase supply. I still only produce around 8 ounces a day, but I've stuck with it and am still nursing my 13 month old.

Try to keep in mind that you won't know how you feel about this until you actually have your baby. Get this book and get educated. Then when the going gets rough, make a decision that you know in your heart you won't end up regretting.

(...)

EXCELLENT !!.......2003-03-08

This book was extrememly helpful. Not only did it provide medical information, but real life stories of BFAR mothers. It explained in detail how to increase your milk supply, how to suppliment, and what you can expect emotionally. It gives you advice on what to do before baby is born, how to handle things after baby comes. Well thought out, Well referenced, Well written. A necessary book to have if you want to nurse your child after having breast surgery.

Teach Your Own: The John Holt Book of Homeschooling

Average customer rating:

CAUTION - WILL CHANGE YOUR FAMILY'S LIFE
crapy amazon service
The master of modern homeschooling
How People Learn
A treatise from the "granddaddy" of homeschooling

Teach Your Own: The John Holt Book of Homeschooling
John Holt , Patrick Farenga , and Pat Farenga
Manufacturer: Perseus Publishing
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

General | Education | Nonfiction | Subjects | Books

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Accessories:

Health o Meter HDC100-01 "Grow with Me" Teddy Bear Scale for Babies and Toddlers
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ASIN: 0738206946
Release Date: 2003-04-15

Book Description

The classic work on teaching children at home, updated for today's new laws, new lifestyles, and a new generation of homeschooling parents. Today more than one and a half million children are being taught at home by their own parents. In this expanded edition of the book that helped launch the whole movement, Pat Farenga has distilled John Holt's timeless understanding of the ways children come to understand the world and added up-to-the-moment practical advice. Rather than proposing that parents turn their homes into miniature schools, Holt and Farenga demonstrate how ordinary parents can help children grow as social, active learners. Chapters on living with children, "serious play," children and work, and learning difficulties will be of interest to all parents, whether homeschooling or not, as well as to teachers. This new edition is supplemented with legal advice as well as a guide to cooperating with schools and facing the common objections to homeschooling. Teach Your Own not only has all the vital information necessary to be the definitive reference for parents teaching their own children, it also conveys John Holt's wise and passionate belief in every child's ability to learn from the world that has made his wonderful books into enduring classics.

Customer Reviews:

CAUTION - WILL CHANGE YOUR FAMILY'S LIFE.......2007-09-05

This single book completely transformed our family's plan for educating our child. After 3 years of perfectly normal, traditional (private and public) schooling, the light bulb went off and we are now embarking on the incredible journey of homeschooling. John Holt speaks such truth, and reminds us that all human beings are born naturally curious, wanting and able to learn. Imagine the potential of our world if each child spent 11,000 hours out in the real world, hungrily soaking up all that life has to offer, instead of sitting all day, being fed information to regurgitate with no apparent and immediate relation to their needs, their interests or their lives. Holt reminds us that "school" is a relatively new invention, and that earlier generations who could not only write exquisitely, invent, create, build and lead, were all schooled at home. Holt also helps every parent who has ever said "I could never homeschool my children" rethink the entire idea of being "the teacher". Rather, every parent can assume the role of "facilitator"... simply providing access, resources and examples... and watching the miracle of natural human development take off on its own. Take the journey. You will never look back.

crapy amazon service.......2007-03-12

How can I review this book if it's been over a month and I haven't even received it yet?!!!

The master of modern homeschooling.......2005-09-03

Don't read my review. Buy the book and read it instead. If you only ever puchase one book on home education, then let it be this one. John Holt is simply the best.

How People Learn.......2004-03-18

Do you remember what they taught you at school? Me neither. I learned to read very early on, mostly at home, and I still remember some math, but only because I balance my checkbook and know when I'm getting correct change at the market. All those years, isolated from the real world in the artificial environment of school, sitting at a desk all day with 30 of my same age peers, how was I to learn about what an actual life in the world is like, or about what I wanted to do with mine? I remember learning to take tests. Now I never take them. A lot of it was pleasant enough, some of it was not, most of it was boring, and somehow I never noticed that I was mostly wasting my time.

Now I know better having read John Holt, a sweet, caring man and a wonderful writer. He's radical, but he never rants. He persuades, gently, eloquently. He learns through years of careful, loving observation and by trial and error and he shares that with you in a way that makes it seem as though he's one of your oldest, most comfortable friends. He reminds you of what you went through in school. He makes sense. He's fun to read. And you know he's right as you read him, because we have all gone to school.

A treatise from the "granddaddy" of homeschooling.......2000-05-29

In this unofficial treatise for the homeschooling movement, John Holt, longtime private school teacher, maintains that the traditional classroom model no longer works and may, in fact, ruin kids for learning. He exhorts parents to challenge the conventional wisdom and be their children's teachers. You don't need to be a homeschooler to benefit from Holt's books; you simply need to care about children and education and to have uttered, if only once, "There's got to be a better way."

A Mother's Legacy: Your Life Story in Your Own Words

Average customer rating:

excelent book
What a wonderful book for you and your family

A Mother's Legacy: Your Life Story in Your Own Words
J. Countryman
Manufacturer: Thomas Nelson
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Spiral-bound

Motivational | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Motherhood | Family Relationships | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books

General | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books

A Father's Legacy: Your Life Story in Your Own Words
A Grandparent's Legacy: Your Life Story in Your Own Words
A Father's Legacy
To My Son with Love: A Mother's Memory Book
Reflections From A Mother's Heart

ASIN: 1404113339

Book Description

This mother's memory journal takes you on a journey that will become a cherished family memoir. Designed in a 12-month format, each month features 12 intriguing questions with space to write a personal answer. Questions explore family history, childhood memories, lighthearted incidents, cherished traditions, and the dreams and spiritual adventures encountered in a lifetime of living. Her written words become windows to a mother's heart.

Customer Reviews:

excelent book.......2007-09-22

this is a fantastic book. if you know a mother who is going through a rough time, this is a great way for her to share her life with her family and friends. i have terminal cancer, and have bought this book for several other women who are going through treatment. everyone thinks this is a great idea.

What a wonderful book for you and your family.......2007-08-29

My sister had told me about this book that she had just got. She kept telling me more and more about it that it got me very curious. Just got it yesterday and have to say that it is even BETTER then I had even hoped for. A Mother's Legacy is a book that you write down all of your life stories. It is written so that the book asks your questions. ie "what is your favorite memory of Christmas and your favorite Christmas song?" This is a book I wish my mother and grandmother had, so that I could know more about their lives. If you have children this is a WONDERFUL book to get for yourself to pass on to your children. Or I have been thinking bout buying many and giving it to women I know for Christmas gifts. Another great idea would be to give this as a baby shower gift.
I rated this only 5 stars but if I could I would have given it 10 stars. A wonderful Book!

Raising Great Kids on Your Own: A Guide and Companion for Every Single Parent

Average customer rating:

I bought this item for my friend who is divorce and need help
I Wish I'd Had This Twelve Years Ago...

Raising Great Kids on Your Own: A Guide and Companion for Every Single Parent
David Frisbie , and Lisa Frisbie
Manufacturer: Harvest House Publishers
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

General | Parenting | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books

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The Complete Single Mother: Reassuring Answers to Your Most Challenging Concerns
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Moving Forward After Divorce: Practical Steps to * Healing Your Hurts * Finding Fresh Perspective * Managing Your New Life

ASIN: 0736919414

Book Description

Oneâ€“parent households frame the new landscape of American family life. But raising kids alone is hard work, and single parenting is a struggle for most. David and Lisa Frisbie provide a practical and proactive plan single moms or single dads can use to...

nourish their own souls, maintaining a vibrant faith in God and a vital connection to family and friends
nurture their children, empowering kids to successfully process the trauma of divorce
manage their households as they assume roles and tasks that may lie well outside their comfort zone
build a future they can enjoy, making choices about education, careers, finances, and relationships

The Frisbiesâ€™ constant travel and ongoing counseling ministry provide a rich reservoir of effective strategies and ideas. Moms and dads who parent alone will find confidence and hope from this manageable and optimistic approach.

Customer Reviews:

I bought this item for my friend who is divorce and need help.......2007-05-16

I have read the excerpt on this book and I definitely think that this is THE book for my friend.

I Wish I'd Had This Twelve Years Ago..........2007-03-26

When my divorce was final 12 years ago, I was left to raise two sons. I felt hopeless and alone (although people reached out to me) and I certainly felt unable to raise two boys. My sons are teens now. "Raising Great Kids" has some of the wisest parenting insights I've found anywhere, for kids of any age but especially for parents of teens or pre-teens. Wow. I wish I'd had this book twelve years ago, but I'm glad I found it now.

Barbara Sheldon, M.S.W.
Currently reading: The Maytrees: A Novel

A Mom After God's Own Heart: 10 Ways to Love Your Children (George, Elizabeth (Insp))

Average customer rating:

Great Book!
Excellent Biblical Wisdom

A Mom After God's Own Heart: 10 Ways to Love Your Children (George, Elizabeth (Insp))
Elizabeth George
Manufacturer: Harvest House Publishers
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Motherhood | Family Relationships | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books

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Accessories:

Health o Meter HDC100-01 "Grow with Me" Teddy Bear Scale for Babies and Toddlers

ASIN: 0736915729

Book Description

The bestselling author of A Woman After Godâ€™s Own Heart ^Â® (more than 700,000 copies sold) has a brandâ€“new release! Elizabeth Georgeâ€™s A Mother After Godâ€™s Own Heart offers 10 principles to help moms make God an everyday part of their childrenâ€™s lives. Readers will explore how to...

teach their children Godâ€™s Word
train them in Godâ€™s ways
talk to children about Jesus
pray with and for them

Elizabeth, who has two grown children and six grandchildren, gives practical advice and realâ€“life suggestions for helping childrenâ€”no matter what their agesâ€”incorporate God into daily life. Elizabethâ€™s husband, Jim, also provides biblical advice from a dadâ€™s perspective.

Customer Reviews:

Great Book!.......2007-09-27

I am so glad that I purchased this book for myself. It has changed my way of seeing motherhood for the better. Elizabeth teaches on the important job that we have as mothers in areas that we never thought before. No matter what stage you are in as a mom; this book will be encourage you, teach you, and inspire you in your journey!

Excellent Biblical Wisdom.......2006-03-16

As with all of Elizabeth George's books, A Mom After God's Own Heart is a solid, practical, and very BIBLICAL look at what it means to be a woman who seeks the Lord. This book is filled with excellent application for a mother's day to day life, yet succeeds in dealing with "heart issues" rather than just being a "to-do list." I was encouraged and inspired by this read.

"Why Do I Love These People?": Understanding, Surviving, and Creating Your Own Family

Average customer rating:

Why Do I Love this Book?
So insightful!
Why Did I Waste My Time?
An Original Look At Family Life
Inspires you to commit to your relationships

"Why Do I Love These People?": Understanding, Surviving, and Creating Your Own Family
Po Bronson
Manufacturer: Random House Trade Paperbacks
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 0812972422
Release Date: 2006-12-26

Book Description

We all have an imaginary definition of a great family. We imagine what it would be like to belong to such a family. No fights over the holidays. No getting on one another’s nerves. Respect for individual identity. Mutual support, without being intrusive. So many people believe they are disqualified from having a better family experience, primarily because they compare their own family with the mythic ideal, and their reality falls short. Is that a fair standard to judge against?”

In the pages of Why Do I Love These People?, Po Bronson takes us on an extraordinary journey.

It begins on a river in Texas, where a mother gets trapped underwater and has to bargain for her own life and that of her kids.

Then, a father and his daughter return to their tiny rice-growing village in China, hoping to rekindle their love for each other inside the walls of his childhood home.

Next, a son puts forth a riddle, asking us to understand what his first experience of God has to do with his Mexican American mother.

Every step–and every family–on this journey is real.

Calling upon his gift for powerful nonfiction narrative and philosophical insight, Bronson explores the incredibly complicated feelings that we have for our families. Each chapter introduces us to two people–a father and his son, a daughter and her mother, a wife and her husband–and we come to know them as intimately as characters in a novel, following the story of their relationship as they struggle resiliently through the kinds of hardships all families endure.

Some of the people manage to save their relationship, while others find a better life only after letting the relationship go. From their efforts, the wisdom in this book emerges. We are left feeling emotionally raw but grounded–and better prepared to love, through both hard times and good time.

In these twenty mesmerizing stories, we discover what is essential and elemental to all families and, in doing so, slowly abolish the fantasies and fictions we have about those we fight to stay connected to.

In Why Do I Love These People?, Bronson shows us that we are united by our yearnings and aspirations: Family is not our dividing line, but our common ground.

From the Hardcover edition.

Download Description

Po Bronson travels the country recording the stories of real people who have struggled to answer life’s biggest questions. To learn more about his research, visit www.pobronson.com. He is the author of five books–two novels and three works of nonfiction–and he has written for television, magazines, radio, and newspapers, including The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and NPR’s Morning Edition. He lives in San Francisco with his family.

From the Hardcover edition.

Customer Reviews:

Why Do I Love this Book?.......2007-05-15

Why do I love this book? Because it held my interest from page one to the final chapter. Perfect for people who don't have 'time' to get involved in a novel or other boring 'how to' book about families. The book is set up in small installments and each one makes you realize that every family is dysfunctional - not just yours. The best news is that despite the dysfunction, people who care can make lemonade from the worst sort of lemons. I highly recommend this book.

So insightful!.......2006-12-23

Human beings are social beings, and relationships between us is at the core... Examples of how other people have managed their difficult relationships is described, most with a happy ending, others not so, but at least shows us what other people go through in life...

I've read two books from Po Bronson (What Should I do with my life and Why do I love this people) and I'm really glad somebody writes about these things... It's like going to a movie where you don't really care about the story, but rather what's behind the scenes and what the people go through in order to try to find their place in the world... It's so rich in content... Would recommend it for anyone trying to figure out what to do with their lives... Even though it's insightful, you might not necessarily find the answers to your questions, but at least if you get the inspiration to do what others have done, then that's good enough...

Why Did I Waste My Time?.......2006-08-22

I felt for some of the families, and wanted to shake others, despite my sympathy for their plight and the author's seeming admiration for them. The real disappointment was the author's poor writing and lack of any thoughtful insights or understanding. Save your time and money.

An Original Look At Family Life.......2006-07-19

I'm going to admit, the first reason I purchased this book was because of its title: WHY DO I LOVE THESE PEOPLE? I was in a bookstore after it was released and saw a customer pick up the book. She showed it to the person who was with her and she said "Why do I love these people? Because I have to, that's why." The two began laughing, no doubt thinking about members of their own families. Of course intriguing titles are not always enough, and when I read the book flap and saw that it was written by Po Bronson who wrote WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY LIFE?, I had a pretty good idea that this would be an interesting book.

Bronson does not present typical families in this book, nor does he try and find atypical or controversial families to fill the pages. Bookstore shelves are already lined with such titles. Instead, Bronson began corresponding with people, using the method he utilized in WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY LIFE and let their stories fill the pages. We meet a wide group of people who have all sorts of struggles such as a woman who wakes from a near death experience and wonders what her life is all about, a man who loses his son and his loss reshapes his life, a woman from Northern Ireland who makes radical changes in her life for the betterment of her children or a woman who decides she needs to cheat on her husband, with his permission, to save a monotonous marriage. These are just a few of the stories. Bronson never sensationalizes his subjects, which may be why even if readers have little or nothing in common with some of the people, they'll still be moved by the stories. Bronson also adds a few editorial comments based on his observations or personal experiences, but overall he allows the people to tell their stories, and he merely (skillfully is more accurate) puts it in written form.

Readers of WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY LIFE may remember that while the book was praised, there were some criticisms that the book contained too many stories from well to do, usually white people, who could change careers without destroying their lives. While the praise and criticism of WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY LIFE? is well taken, that's not the case with this book. Readers will be surprised at the diversity in this book. People from a variety of races, religious traditions, and backgrounds are represented and readers come away with a deeper respect for the ties that bind us with those we usually love most, our families, and that even if these bonds can be imperfect and at times seriously flawed, the bonds are real and in many cases, last against a great deal of troubles.

Inspires you to commit to your relationships.......2006-04-02

I think the most striking part of this book is that you feel comforted by the fact that the problems you're facing in your own relationships are commonplace. They're not dysfunctional. Every family has its share of issues and you don't need to feel overly guilty for yours. The book's underlying theme is that families that honesty, consideration, character, belief and perhaps above everything else - resilience, can get you through the worst debacles and that at the end of the day it's probably (though not always) worth the effort.

Stories include:
Resentment about controlling parents who appear to display conditional loving and also about appreciating how much of their lives parents sacrifice to bring the kids up; the search for redemption after abandoning a kid or cheating on a wife, the courage required to break relationships that are dead and the perseverance required to bring one back from the dead (and the effect on kids), dealing with the families of your in-laws and family objection to marriage, how to deal with kids who are falling into bad habits when you feel powerless to influence their decisions because they no longer respect you or listen to you, dealing with the death of a child, how we feel obligated to spend time with our families rather than actually wanting to spend time with them and what we are losing, etc.

Although it may seem that most people cannot relate to these situations... actually I felt an amazing amount of empathy for the families and came away with a renewed conviction that I can get the perfect family life (with all it's frustrations and headaches) and balance it with everything.

If you have any relationship, friendship that you have a certain amount of frustration, resignation about then I strongly recommend this book. It is one of those books that if it hits you at the right time - it could change your relationships and your life.

Adopting On Your Own: The Complete Guide to Adoption for Single Parents

Average customer rating:

Very informative, well written book
Thinking About Adoption
Priceless
Be PREPARED!
Not for singles who already know they want to adopt

Adopting On Your Own: The Complete Guide to Adoption for Single Parents
Lee Varon
Manufacturer: Farrar, Straus and Giroux
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Adoption | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books

General | Parenting | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books

General | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books
Similar Items:

Single Mothers by Choice: A Guidebook for Single Women Who Are Considering or Have Chosen Motherhood
The Pumpkin Patch: A Single Woman's International Adoption Journey
Choosing Single Motherhood: The Thinking Woman's Guide
How to Adopt Internationally: A Guide for Agency-Directed and Independent Adoptions, Revised and Updated Edition for 2003
The Complete Book of International Adoption: A Step by Step Guide to Finding Your Child

Accessories:

Health o Meter HDC100-01 "Grow with Me" Teddy Bear Scale for Babies and Toddlers

ASIN: 0374128839

Book Description

The first guide of its kind, covering all stages of the adoption process

Adopting on Your Own addresses the questions and concerns of prospective single parents. Lee Varon, a practicing therapist specializing in adoption counseling and the single mother of two adopted children, helps readers make an evenhanded assessment of whether adoption is right for them, then leads them through the different stages of arranging and financing the adoption. She weighs the advantages of open versus closed and international versus domestic adoption for the single parent, and demystifies potentially daunting steps such as choosing an agency and preparing for the home study.

Adopting on Your Own also offers up-to-date information on the latest developments in interracial adoption policy, the legal rights of gays and lesbians to adopt, and the evolving attitudes of agencies and social workers toward single-parent adoptions. Throughout the book, Varon draws on personal anecdotes and the experiences of her clients to offer honest, insightful advice on every step of the adoption process.

Customer Reviews:

Very informative, well written book.......2007-01-09

I walked away from reading this feeling fully empowered to move forward with an adoption as a single; it also opened my eyes to many aspects of single parenting (especially an adopted child) that I had never considered. I have passed this book on to friends who are also in the process or thinking about it. Highly recommend reading this even if you are already adopting-

There are also exercises at the end of each section/chapter that force you to think about what you are doing by journaling, very effective.

Thinking About Adoption.......2006-08-14

I have not read the entire book, but it is a book that has made me think at most is adoption really for me and at least I would have to really think about things.

Priceless.......2006-03-24

This book has been absolutely priceless in my journey toward adoption. The exercises are beneficial and the information is straightforward and unbiased. Best of all, it's written by someone who, like me, is single and career-oriented but made it work. This has not only helped me, but I shared it with my family and it helped them to understand just what I'm going through.

Be PREPARED!.......2005-10-01

I bought this book in order to research a report I was writing and presenting to a sociology class on the the topic of Single Parent Adoption. It was a fantastic source of information on many levels. When I was pregnant, I scoured the pages of every pregnancy and newborn book I could get my hands on. If one is looking to adopt a child, this book is much like those informative "what to expect" baby books.
With so many kids on this planet needing homes, this is a noble pursuit rather than spending countless thousands of dollars at infertility clinics. Reading this book helped me make an informed decision as well as writing a great report!

Not for singles who already know they want to adopt.......2004-05-04

I know many singles who have considered adoption who found this book to be very helpful, so I was eager to read it myself as I began the adoption process as a single. Although I can see how this book would be helpful to many, it was not the book for me. Most of the book is devoted to helping the reader make the decision of whether or not they want to be a single parent at all, and then deciding if adoption is the right path for them. I had already made both of these decisions, so the book was not at all helpful to me. There is almost no information about *how* to adopt as a single. I wouldn't object to this so much if the book didn't claim to be a "complete" guide. A better title would be "Adopting on Your Own: Making the Decision to Adopt as a Single". I would not recommend this book to anyone who has already decided to pursue adoption as a single parent, but I can see how it would be helpful to those still making this decision.

Make Your Own Play Dough, Paint, And Other Craft Materials: Easy Recipes to Use With Young Children

Average customer rating:

Handy book and a fun way to spend time with children
A life saver!!
Make Your Own Play Dough Review
Preschooling on a budget

Make Your Own Play Dough, Paint, And Other Craft Materials: Easy Recipes to Use With Young Children
Patricia Caskey
Manufacturer: Redleaf Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Crafts for Children | Crafts & Hobbies | Home & Garden | Subjects | Books

Dough | Crafts & Hobbies | Home & Garden | Subjects | Books

General | Crafts & Hobbies | Home & Garden | Subjects | Books

Painting | Crafts & Hobbies | Home & Garden | Subjects | Books

Family Activities | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books

Child Care | Parenting | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books

Preschool & Kindergarten | Education | Nonfiction | Subjects | Books
Similar Items:

The Little Hands Big Fun Craft Book: Creative Fun for 2- To 6-Year-Olds (Williamson Little Hands Series)
Preschooler's Busy Book: 365 Creative Games & Activities To Occupy 3-6 Year Olds
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The Little Hands Art Book/Exploring Arts & Crafts With 2-To 6-Year-Olds (Williamson Little Hands Series)
Do-it-yourself Early Learning: Easy And Fun Activities And Toys from Everyday Home Center Materials

ASIN: 1933653051

Book Description

Make Your Own Playdough, Paint, and Other Craft Materials contains more than one hundred recipes for making craft materials-dough, clay, paint, glitter, and other creative -materials-with young children.
Ã,Â
Parents, as well as childcare providers and teachers, will find recipes that use ingredients easily found in their kitchens. Many of the recipes have less than five ingredients and take just minutes to make. Besides saving money by not buying commercial craft materials, the process of making the materials can be just as fun and educational as the activities that can be done with the finished products. Included with the activities are some new ideas for materials that providers and teachers can use in discovery bottles and discovery tables in childcare settings.
Ã,Â
In addition to common craft materials, there are recipes for:
Ã¢Â€Â¢ Dryer lint clay
Ã¢Â€Â¢ Edible candy clay
Ã¢Â€Â¢ Non-toxic scratch-and-sniff paint
Ã¢Â€Â¢ Waterproof glue
Ã¢Â€Â¢ Sidewalk chalk
Ã¢Â€Â¢ Clean mud
Ã¢Â€Â¢ Bubbles
Ã¢Â€Â¢ Soap crayons
Ã¢Â€Â¢ Bath salts
Ã¢Â€Â¢ Perfume
Ã¢Â€Â¢ Invisible ink
Ã¢Â€Â¢ Colored macaroni or rice
Ã,Â
Children will be thrilled to discover the works of art they can create with their new craft materials as they enhance their senses of touch, taste, smell, and sight. All of these recipes have been tested for safety and outcomes if followed as directed.
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Customer Reviews:

Handy book and a fun way to spend time with children.......2007-10-11

I think this book is wonderful! If you have any of the "how to make and do things" type of books some of these recipes might be included but to see them all laid out in order with recipes for different things is very nice! Plus most of the recipes all share common ingredients so you don't need to buy a lot of hard to find stuff for each project.

The way this book is laid out,with one recipe per page and large print,is very easy for children to read.My daughter really enjoyed being able to read the list and help mix up the ingredients.We especially liked the gloop and glop recipes for making slime.

If you work at a school or daycare or if your kids go through paint and playdough like it is going out of style,I highly reccomend this book to cut supply cost because whipping up large batches of supplies will save you lots of money and if you get the kids involved is an awesome learning experience!

A life saver!!.......2007-08-30

This book has been a great help to me as a stay at home mom of a toddler!! Great ideas to keep her busy when the weather is too hot to get outside(or as winter approaches too cold!). I love the ideas and my daughter has loved the varied activities in her "art" time!

Make Your Own Play Dough Review.......2007-08-03

I have to assume that this book is very good. I bought it for someone else and had it sent directly to them. They specifically asked for it by name and author.

Preschooling on a budget.......2007-03-08

Every parent, teacher, childcare provider, and scout leader should have this budget friendly book. The variety of recipes, science experiments, and resourceful materials presented are valuable for expanding a child's education. Using just about everything a person already has in his/her kitchen, creative materials can be formed with little cost. It includes over 100 recipes, and presents ideas for every season of the year.

I recommend buying this book, not just to have fun with your children, but for the knowledge they will gain, homemade gift ideas, holiday decorations, and the many other educational teaching elements it provides. You will find simple, but affordable gift ideas for children to make, discovery table suggestions, and many experiments. Each chapter of the book lists what children can learn and accomplish. Whether your child needs help learning measurements, hand-eye coordination, or learning science, you'll find this book to offer it all. The recipes and activities offer instructive and physical advantages for children, and teach them, as well as parents, about ways to recycle.

The Author has worked with young children for over ten years, and the quality of her experience in this book is evident. She understands that family resources are difficult to manage and still afford the extras, while providing an educational and fun activity for kids.

Kristina N. is a thrifty stay-at-home mother of six children, and home schools her preschooler. She does freelance writing in her spare time.

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