How to Handle Difficult Parents: A Teacher's Survival Guide

Average customer rating:

I want this author as my supervisor

Very helpful

Parent-Teacher Association as it really is

This is a great book for new teachers.....

Illuminating for both new teachers and veterans, alike

How to Handle Difficult Parents: A Teacher's Survival Guide
Suzanne Capek Tingley
Manufacturer: Cottonwood Press, Inc.
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

General | Education | Nonfiction | Subjects | Books
Parent Participation | Education | Nonfiction | Subjects | Books
School-Age Children | Parenting | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books
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ASIN: 1877673722

Book Description

Be it "Pinocchio's Mom," who thinks her child never lies, the "Caped Crusader," who will stop at nothing to have a book eliminated from the curriculum, or the "Helicopter Mom," who hovers and swoops in to protect her child from disappointment, this humorous handbook helps educators deal with impossible parents. Each chapter features a hilarious caricature that illuminates common parent anxieties followed by specific, practical methods for addressing the problem. Easily implemented advice on face-to-face confrontations helps teachers approach each conflict with the confidence to get their point across and the composure to keep their professional principles intact.

Customer Reviews:

I want this author as my supervisor.......2007-09-08

This delightful book has such useful analysis and ideas in it. It is easy reading, and the author's suggestions are easy to take.

Tingley is an educator who became an administrator, and she knows her problem parents. She first gives vignettes with the teacher saying what we would REALLY like to say. Then she rewinds the interaction, showing us much more effective things to say.

I appreciate Tingley's compassion for both us teachers and the parents. School has just started again this fall, and I am off to a MUCH better start with a girl in my home room whose "hovering" mom was ready to slug me last year.

Very helpful.......2007-09-03

I found this book to be a really humorous way to help guide interactions with parents on a daily basis. I will absolutely be using advice from this book to help me with conferences this school year.

Parent-Teacher Association as it really is.......2007-07-10

Tingley gives an excellent overview of how educational objectives have evolved from instilling self-esteem to achieving high scores on standardized tests and what a problem that has created in dealing with today's parents. She acknowledges the frustrations teachers feel and frequently complain about, then skillfully uses humor along with sound advice to get beyond the griping and deal with the problems unreasonable parents can present. The book would be very helpful as a basis for role playing sessions for teachers-in-training in order to master the skills of being in control, getting parents on their side and most importantly, handling themselves as professionals. Even veteran teachers could benefit from reflecting on the amusing, yet accurate parent stereotypes Tingley has captured through her years of experience.

This is a great book for new teachers............2007-06-01

I bought this book for my daughter who is in her first year of teaching. When it arrived, I took a peek at the text, and probably read 1/2 the book before I even gave it too her! It is very easy, informative, reading. The former teacher who authored the book, has succinctly catergorized "parent types" and how each can be handled by the teacher when necessary. This survival guide's advice is excellent, and the points it makes are easily remembered by the reader. I think this will save my daughter lots of trial and error in her new career....(she really could have used it this year, with 29 students, and 58 parents to contend with!)

Illuminating for both new teachers and veterans, alike.......2007-06-01

As a veteran teacher-librarian, I can say that I have probably met most of the types of parents that Suzanne Tingley highlights in her book. As a parent, I can say that I may have had tendencies toward a few of the actions described. What is remarkable about this book is the down to earth advice for teachers, young and old, in how to diffuse and handle situations that will most definitely occur in the school setting at one time or another. The different scenarios illustrated by the presence of Caped Crusaders, Helicopter Moms, or Uncivil Libertarians are ones in which we have all had a part. Mrs. Tingley has clearly thought about how differently those scenarios could be played out so that a teacher can maintain his or her principles while allowing the parent to retain his or her dignity as the problem is resolved. She does this with humor, but also with a great deal of insight and intelligence. In order for schools to be effective in educating students, teachers and parents must communicate reasonably and civily with each other. This book opens the door to such communication. I am glad the book was recommended to me and I recommend it to all teachers who seek well-reasoned advice or reinforcement in validating responses to difficult situations and parents.

Average customer rating:

For new baby
Good all-around baby book
Don't Like the Message
Family favorite
Wonderful - this really is a very good book

Guess How Much I Love You
Sam McBratney
Manufacturer: Candlewick
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Board book

Bedtime & Dreaming | Baby-3 | Children's Books | Subjects | Books

Guess How Much I Love You | Baby-3 | Children's Books | Subjects | Books

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ASIN: 076360013X
Release Date: 1996-03-06

Amazon.com

All children want reassurance that their parents' love runs wide and deep. In Guess How Much I Love You, a young rabbit named Little Nutbrown Hare thinks he's found a way to measure the boundaries of love. In a heartwarming twist on the "I-can-do-anything-you-can-do-better" theme, Little Nutbrown Hare goes through a series of declarations regarding the breadth of his love for Big Nutbrown Hare. But even when his feelings stretch as long as his arms, or as high as his hops, Little Nutbrown Hare is fondly one-upped by the elder rabbit's more expansive love.

Anita Jeram's illustrations are bound to elicit an "aw" from even the sternest of readers; these loving rabbits are expressive, endearing, and never cloying. In turn, Sam McBratney tells a simple bedtime story of sweet familial love with humor, insight, and a delightful surprise at the end. Children and parents will love snuggling up for this one--a treat to be read again and again, just before the lights are turned out. (Click to see a sample spread. Text © 1994 by Sam McBratney. Illustrations © 1994 by Anita Jeram. Permission from Candlewick Press.) (Ages 4 to 8)

Book Description

The American Booksellers Book of the Year nominee is available as a sturdy board book for the youngest of children. Little Nutbrown Hare wants to show Big Nutbrown Hare how very much he loves him - but love as big as his is very hard to measure!

Customer Reviews:

For new baby.......2007-09-22

The first time I heard of this book was in my childbirth class. I loved it so much I had to buy it. I'm hoping it will become one of my baby's favorite books.

Good all-around baby book.......2007-09-19

I bought this baby book based on the reviews and the fact that Guess How Much I Love You is one of my favorite children's books. The book does a nice job of asking enough questions to make a complete record for your baby without being overly burdensome. Some of the other books I looked at seriously asked what the weather was on the day you found out your were pregnant. Seriously, who would care about that? This baby book also gives great suggestions for a few pictures which is helpful--like the place to put a picture of you pregnant. I am very pleased.

Don't Like the Message.......2007-09-15

I know many people love this book. I don't know why. We received one as a gift, and after reading it to my daughter, I was disturbed by the story. I felt sorry for the bunny whose parent invalidated his expression of love on each page. As many other reviewers said, it was a competition the adult wouldn't let the child win. This book contains a mean-spirited, misguided, sad, and disturbing message.

Family favorite.......2007-08-01

"Guess how much I love you" is a classic. The story is a simple dialog between a big rabbit (the parent) and a little rabbit (the baby), each professing and comparing the depth & "height" of their love for each other. We read this book almost every day to our infant daughter. She loves the watercolor illustrations & coos at the pictures. A lovely addition to a kid' book collection.

Wonderful - this really is a very good book.......2007-07-24

This is a fabulous book for little children and the grownups who read to them. When children are read to daily, they learn to love reading. Perfect bedtime stories, to calm everyone down and make us ready for sweet dreams. If you can find the LARGE size book get it- they're fabulous keepsakes. Perfect gifts for any child, and a perfect tradition in your own home and family!

SUPERNANNY: HOW TO GET THE BEST FROM YOUR CHILDREN

Average customer rating:

Great parenting reference !
Very Practical & Effective
good-in-desperate-times
Eh, luke warm on this one
100% recommend this book

SUPERNANNY: HOW TO GET THE BEST FROM YOUR CHILDREN
Jo Frost
Manufacturer: Hyperion
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

General | Family Relationships | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books

Child Care | Parenting | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books

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Accessories:

ASIN: 1401308104
Release Date: 2005-01-12

Amazon.com

For despairing moms and dads everywhere, "Supernanny" Jo Frost may as well be wearing a Wonder Woman costume. Her no-nonsense rules--not tips, not advice, but rules--for consistently managing one's offspring leave no room for arguments (or wrestling matches). From her arms-akimbo stance on the book's cover, it's clear she's in charge, and ready to instruct all wishy-washy (overworked American) parents how to lay down the law in their own home. She offers her "top ten rules" for setting boundaries, managing mealtimes, even surviving toilet training, and it's mostly rock-solid, and peppered liberally with British wit. (For parents who obsess over their toddler's every meal, she warns: "It doesn't take long for them to work out the obvious: you can't make them eat.") Frost may not have a degree in child development, but she was raised in a stable, doting family, and has 15 years' experience taking care of tots, a combination which puts her way ahead of most parents. She may be firm, but by setting definite boundaries, she sets the stage for parenting to be more of a "joy" and much less of a "slog." You can raise your sippy cups to that. --Erica Jorgensen

Book Description

Meet Supernanny Jo Frost, a modern-day Mary Poppins here to rescue today's beleaguered parents by offering up her practical, road-tested methods of childrearing in an indispensable new book based on her upcoming ABC-TV series.

Jo Frost, a.k.a. Supernanny, is the answer to every stressed-out parent's dreams. In ABC's upcoming primetime TV series by the same name, Jo works miracles on problem children by dispensing hard-won wisdom and reassuring us that parents really do know best. The Supernanny method gives parents the know-how to tackle problem areas such as mealtime, bath time, bedtime, bedwetting, homework, sibling rivalry, aggressive behavior, or a child who just won't do what he or she is told to do.

Divided into action-oriented problem and solution sections, Supernanny will show parents how to restore harmony and authority in the home using the Supernanny's ten basic rules and her effective, no-nonsense approach to problem-solving. For example:

Problem: What if your child refuses to go to bed? Supernanny Solution: Develop a bedtime routine so that the child can get used to a consistent pattern that she is not going to be able to change or manipulate. A routine will set up a calming sequence of events that will be designed to help the child relax.

Problem: Toilet-training Supernanny Solution: Prepare your child by taking any hint of shame or disgust out of what is simply a natural fact of life. Keep the door open, bring her into the bathroom with you, and explain what's happening, including the use of toilet paper and the washing of hands afterward.

Customer Reviews:

Great parenting reference !.......2007-07-25

Quick and easy to read. You can easily flip to a relevant section and put it away again for the next parentig dilemna. I am buying another copy for a friend.

Very Practical & Effective.......2007-07-04

Great book, you can start using her advice with almost immediate effects. Keywords that gives this book value: respect, love, care, discipline, and lots of praise. Enjoy!

good-in-desperate-times.......2007-06-28

This book is easy to read and to the point, no nonsense, you will love it...
I recommend it to all parents and granparent.....anyone who has to deal with children.

Eh, luke warm on this one.......2007-06-08

This is really much of the show re-hashed. I was excited by how pretty the book was and the typesetting and the photos but there is just no meat to this. I was hoping for more.

100% recommend this book.......2007-05-16

I am a nanny myself (2 boys ages 3 and 7)and have found this book to be extremely helpful because of Jo Frost's insight regarding what motivates a child's behavior, the parent/child relationship, the frustrations that children and parents sometimes feel,the dynamics of a household. Jo Frost respects and loves children and it shines through in her book. I personally would rather take advice from a person who has had 15 years hands on experience working with children of all ages and all types of backgrounds in all types of families, than listen to a child psychologist who may not have had that broad range of experience and may only rely at times on what they read in a textbook (no offense :) Most of the children that are in the area I work in are currently seeing therapists and psychologists, and I have seen no improvement in their behavior, or they improve one week and regress the next. (no offense :) But watch SuperNanny's show and while nobody is perfect, you have to admit that her techniques tend to work, and make a whole lot of sense. She just really understands and respects children, and that is a high priority when seeking to have a wonderful relationship with them. (This is only my opinion, not meant to offend anyone, have a wonderful day).

Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby

Average customer rating:

Saved my quality of life
Terrible! Not based on any science
The Best Baby Book Ever
best book
i agreed with everything in this book! a must for first time moms and dads.

Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby
Tracy Hogg , and Melinda Blau
Manufacturer: Ballantine Books
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Mass Market Paperback

General | Parenting | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books

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Accessories:

ASIN: 0345479092
Release Date: 2005-07-26

Book Description

“TRACY HOGG HAS GIVEN PARENTS A GREAT GIFT–the ability to develop early insight into their child’s temperament.”
–Los Angeles Family

When Tracy Hogg’s Secrets of the Baby Whisperer was first published, it soared onto bestseller lists across the country. Parents everywhere became “whisperers” to their newborns, amazed that they could actually communicate with their baby within weeks of their child’s birth. Tracy gave parents what for some amounted to a miracle: the ability to understand their baby’s every coo and cry so that they could tell immediately if the baby was hungry, tired, in real distress, or just in need of a little TLC. Tracy also dispelled the insidious myth that parents must go sleepless for the first year of a baby’s life–because a happy baby sleeps through the night. Now you too can benefit from Tracy’s more than twenty years’ experience. In this groundbreaking book, she shares simple, accessible programs in which you will learn:

• E.A.S.Y.–how to get baby to eat, play, and sleep on a schedule that will make every member of the household’s life easier and happier.
• S.L.O.W.–how to interpret what your baby is trying to tell you (so you don’t try to feed him when he really wants a nap).
• How to identify which type of baby yours is–Angel, Textbook, Touchy, Spirited, or Grumpy–and then learn the best way to interact with that type.
• Tracy’s Three Day Magic–how to change any and all bad habits (yours and the baby’s) in just three days.

At the heart of Tracy’s simple but profound message: treat the baby as you would like to be treated yourself. Reassuring, down-to-earth, and often flying in the face of conventional wisdom, Secrets of the Baby Whisperer promises parents not only a healthier, happier baby but a more relaxed and happy household as well.

From the Trade Paperback edition.

Customer Reviews:

Saved my quality of life.......2007-10-11

This book is a life saver for new moms or moms struggling with babies sleep patterns. I thought I was loosing it until my father gave me this book. A short easy to implement program to train your baby to sleep regularly.

Terrible! Not based on any science.......2007-10-02

I bought this book when my baby was four months old. I tried every technique in there (early waking, cluster feedings) and nothing helped. I ended up baby "Happy Child, Healthy Sleep Habits" and he basically debunked all her theories with science and baby sleep studies. I tried his theories and now I have a great baby who developed into a toddler that sleeps so well! This book is seriously a waste of time, I need to sell mine or give it away. This woman has no real or scientific experience with babies, I would love for to come to my house and use it on my child, because I will promise you that her stuff doesn't work. Plus, at nine months, giving cluster feedings won't help, babies wake up at that age because of habit or neurology, not because they're hungry. It was just such a waste of money!

The Best Baby Book Ever.......2007-09-27

I was given this book as a gift and have since purchased it for everyone I know who is having a baby. Great Book!!

best book.......2007-09-20

i buy this book for all my friends who are having babies. this book is just incredible. i followed it and my daughter slept through the night at six weeks. i couldn't have been more pleased. too bad i didn't have it when my son was born....
WORTH EVERY CENT!!!!

i agreed with everything in this book! a must for first time moms and dads........2007-09-18

i picked up this book on the recommendation of a friend, and i was not disappointed. the author is a baby nurse and has a "special" way with newborns and infants, and is passing along her wisdom and experiences in this book. i found myself agreeing with everything she had to say, and have implemented her "e-a-s-y" way of caring for infants with my new baby. i also agree with the s-l-o-w technique to determine what your baby might need (why are they crying?), to avoid stuffing a pacifier in their mouth at the first sign of fussiness. one thing to note, my baby is a "textbook" baby, and it was fairly simple for us to implement these techniques. for people with colicy or super fussy babies, using this book may be more difficult and take longer to implement. ultimately, i totally agree with giving a baby a routine (not an inflexible schedule), and for treating babies like the people they are, and respecting them and their personal space. i highly recommend this book!

Average customer rating:

Some good information
Try and read this before the baby arrives
Great information
What a great resource
The best money you will ever spend!

Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby
Tracy Hogg , and Melinda Blau
Manufacturer: Ballantine Books
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

General | Parenting | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books

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Accessories:

ASIN: 0345440900
Release Date: 2002-01-29

Amazon.com's Best of 2001

The last thing new parents can find time for is quiet reading, so many helpful books on infant care rely on bullet points and a "let's get to the point" writing style. Tracy Hogg, a neonatal nurse, teacher, and mother of two, uses these techniques to good effect in Secrets of the Baby Whisperer. Focusing on newborns and their parents, her simple programs are a blend of intelligent intuition and methods based on years of experience. The first half of the book is devoted to E.A.S.Y--her name for creating a structured daily routine for you and your baby that makes the most of your baby's awake times and also leaves time just for you. These concepts aren't designed to force your bundle of joy into not following her body's needs, but rather to create a feasible middle ground between total rigidity and on-demand food and sleep (and no time for mom to shower). If it still strikes you as too regimented, keep reading. The author makes room for differences in personal style and includes short quizzes to determine whether you're a "planner" or a "winger", and what level of daily structure you are likely to find helpful. In the same chapter, she identifies five general temperaments of infants, how to get an accurate feel for yours, and what methods of care are likely to be the most effective for his temperament. Her statement that babies prefer routine is backed up by research from the University of Denver. While most of the book relies on anecdotes to get the points across, Hogg does find room to back up some of her statements with quotes from various researchers and institutions. Included at the end of the book are assurances that E.A.S.Y. can be followed even with a colicky baby or one who's been ruling the roost for the first few months. Frustrated parents might like to read the last page first: "all the baby-whispering advice in the world is useless unless you're having a good time being a parent" is an excellent reminder to enjoy this time with all of its ups and downs. --Jill Lightner

Book Description

Customer Reviews:

Some good information.......2007-08-29

I did get some vital information on putting my kiddo to sleep. But her advice drove me insane when I tried to apply it to a new born! He was just too young at 1 week to perform under her requirements and I felt like a terrible mother with an abnormal kiddo. Now that he is older (2 1/2) months much of what she writes about independence and getting your kiddo to sleep is helpful. When my son was 1-4 weeks his schedule was *his* schedule and I really just had to be there for him. I still co-sleep even though Hogg advises against it and I still like to put my kiddo to sleep in my arms. He sleeps in noisy rooms and quiet ones. The list goes on. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING A WELL READ NEW PARENT CAN TAKE FROM THIS REVIEW IS THIS: read all you can even Hogg's book but always keep your instincts when it comes to raising your baby, no author is you and no one person can know your baby on a personal and visceral level the way you do. On the breastfeeding....I think her tips on the actual act of breast feeding are wonderful as for the politics I could not disagree with her more. This is a very politically and emotionally charged issue no matter your position. As for her being responsible for whether or not a woman chooses to breast feed by the opinions expressed by Hogg in this book: I do not agree. If it takes so little for a mother to quit breast feeding then maybe she just was not cut out for it. I *knew* breast feeding was the best for my kid so I do it...period. Some women just cannot or will not go the extra mile no matter what they read.

Try and read this before the baby arrives.......2007-08-28

This book has been great for us and I believe this is largely because we read it before the baby was born and started implementing Hogg's techniques immediately. Having read both Sears/AP and Ezzo parenting books as well, we have found Hogg's methods to be a great middle ground. The EASY method is working great for us. I love her chapter on Awake activities and appropriate playing at different ages and stages. She breaks down bathing and massage techniques, as well. Her advice on using a pacifier makes so much sense. And, of course, the easy to follow charts that allow you interpret and respond to your baby's cries and movements are excellent.

Best of all though is the confidence we have in putting our baby down to sleep - because we started this from day one we were able to implement Hogg's techniques that allow us to put the baby in her crib while sleepy but still awake and watch her gently drift off to sleep on her own. Our baby has been learning how to self sooth since day one and it's amazing to watch her.

Great information.......2007-08-18

This book was recommeded by my OBGYN. I read a few other books but found Tracy's information and advice useful and accurate. I found her writing style to be enjoyable--like reading a good novel, therefore, I retained the information; rather than trying to recall what you should do in a particular situation.

What a great resource.......2007-08-10

I have a 3 month old baby boy and I would highly recommed this book. In fact, I wish I had read this book earlier because it would have saved me a lot of stress. Tracey's insight is really helpful and I feel that I've connected with my baby much better since reading this book. She also provides a lot of support to women who choose not to breastfeed. I was feeling guilty for not breastfeeding especially since my son had formula issues but Tracey help to put things into perspective about it being a very personal choice and there being nothing wrong with choosing formula feeding.

The best money you will ever spend!.......2007-08-10

This book changed my life.. for the first 8 weeks of my new baby I thought I was going to crack up. I had read that babies shoudl sleep a lot and therefore it confused me that my little one did not. It was not because she didn't like sleeping, it was because I was not reading her cues and not knowing what to expect. This book explains it all very easily and actually it is all down to common sense.. i.e reading your baby and knowing what is wrong. As soon as i read the book i could see where i was going wrong and as soon as i put my little pone on the recomended routine, my life changed forever.. she slept for long periods during the day, all night long and basically became a dream child. It is all about common sense and once you get over the initial hurdle of trying to find time to read the book, your life will be chnaged forever!

The Mother-Daughter Project: How Mothers and Daughters Can Band Together, Beat the Odds, and Thrive ThroughAdolescence

Average customer rating:

Incredibly Useful and Beautiful
good for rich white people
a wonderful resource for parents
great message for mothers and daughters!

The Mother-Daughter Project: How Mothers and Daughters Can Band Together, Beat the Odds, and Thrive ThroughAdolescence
SuEllen Hamkins , and Renee Schultz
Manufacturer: Hudson Street Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

Adolescent Psychology | Psychology & Counseling | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

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ASIN: 1594630348
Release Date: 2007-04-05

Book Description

Reviving Ophelia meets The Mother- Daughter Book Club in a book that offers a proven model for staying connected through adolescence

There is no comment more troubling to the mother of a young girl than Â“she loves you now, but just wait Â'til sheÂ's a teenager.Â” Ten years ago, SuEllen Hamkins and Renee Schultz, psychotherapy professionals with a combined forty yearsÂ' experience and both mothers of then seven-year-old daughters, created The Mother-Daughter Project with several other women in their community, with the hope of disproving this damaging assumption. With their young daughters, the group met regularly to speak frankly about such issues as girlsÂ' friendships (and aggression), puberty, the mediaÂ's influence on their self-image and esteem, drugs, and sexuality.

As their daughters matured, the mothers marveled at the strength and confidence with which the girls thrived through adolescence. The Project had succeeded in creating a haven from the many perils of teen culture. Equally important, it helped the mothers navigate their own fears and concerns about adolescence with integrity and grace.

At once simple and revolutionary, this book details the success of the Mother-Daughter ProjectÂ's groundbreaking model, providing the reader with a road map for strengthening her bond with her own daughter, and providing strategies for staying close through adolescence and beyond.

Customer Reviews:

Incredibly Useful and Beautiful.......2007-10-09

The Mother-Daughter Project is a most practical, theoretical, and hopeful guide to dealing with our predator culture -- a culture that expects and even thrives upon mothers and daughters becoming separate during the daughter's adolescence. My mother-daughter group, just begun with help from the book contains 11 & 12 year old girls and their mothers and is a multi-cultural, multi-ethnic group who have various economic backgrounds. We did one of the exercises ("our perfect day") from the book and it elevated us to a surprising new level, created an introduction to community within the group and highlighted some marvelous differences and similarities between the generations. My own 11-year-old daughter said, "I noticed that everyone in our group had something going for mangoes AND liked climbing...also that we all wanted to get up really early so that we could really live large during the day!"

This is an incredible book for anyone interested in women, girls, psychology, spirituality and community. The extremely readable information about our culture's approach to girls and women and the valuable stories about the mother-daughter pairs in the authors' M-D Project make "The Mother-Daughter Project: How Mother and Daughters Can Band Together, Beat the Odds, and Thrive Through Adolescence" truly a book to read, re-read and USE.

good for rich white people.......2007-09-13

Three years ago, you could not have convinced me that my mother and I would have a functional adult relationship. In addition to a life crisis that brought us back onto speaking terms and into each other's lives, we learned to set aside most of our differences because life is too short to do otherwise. When I heard about The Mother-Daughter Project, a book that promises "a proven model for staying connected through adolescence and beyond," I felt a glimmer of hope that young women would no longer spend their twenties overcoming the verbal scars of youthful wars with our parents. Maybe my expectations were quite high, but this overly self-referential, self-help book in disguise is written in such a fluffy, insulting way that I found it hard to accept any of its legitimate advice.

It should first be noted that the ten-year group experiment on which this book is based took place in greater Massachusetts, where I currently reside. While that doesn't immediately lend itself to a myriad of privileges, two educated, white women wrote this book from their own experience. They do make a cursory acknowledgement that mothering is more than their version of the status quo, but this recognition simply doesn't show through in their analysis or supposedly practical application, and I just can't get down with that kind of written tokenism.

Most helpful for their references to other similar, more groundbreaking works, this is a good book for mothers who literally have no clue about how to start relating to their teenagers. The overly simplistic solutions and embarrassing language do not make it an effective read for teens, however. If my mother had handed me this when I was in middle school, I'd have laughed in her face despite my strong desire to heal our relationship even then. An overly indulgent attempt to debunk myths like the "perfect girl" or the "supermom," this book is mainly a solution for upper class white folks who have a built-in support system ready to consciousness-raise and spend long hours dissecting how to best grow their relationships.

a wonderful resource for parents.......2007-08-31

I think "The Mother-Daughter Project" is a terrific book. I have recommended it to parents that I see in my practice as a child psychiatrist, to friends who have daughters, and to anyone whom I meet who has daughters! I believe this book is a rich tool, from the perspective of understanding and, most beneficially, from the perspective of practice: on how to foster strong, nurturing, and enjoyable bonds between mothers and daughters and between mothers and mothers. The common experiences and challenges that different generations of females encounter in our society, and life itself, as well as the resources needed to meet those challenges, are richly explored in this book through the discussion of the evolution of the mother-daughter group.
With detail and humor, the authors share with the reader the journey of this group of mothers and daughters over 10 years, as they start meeting monthly when the daughters are seven years old and continue up to the time of college. We learn about the very rich array of activities that these very thoughtful and intentional mothers used to educate their daughters about the tasks they will encounter in each coming stage in their development. Age specific challenges to mothers and daughters, together and separately, are covered in an overview level and in the very rich detailed activities the mothers and daughters used to prepare for, practice, and develop the skills and abilities to deal with all that is involved in moving from protected childhood into adulthood. This book is a wonderful resource to all parents-whether or not they are in such groups.

great message for mothers and daughters!.......2007-05-20

I bought this book earlier today and am over halfway through it. I am the mother of two daughters, age 9 & 12. While I wish I had this book five years ago, it doesn't feel like it's too late. A great resource for years to come, with positive self, daughter and relationship building ideas.

Top of the Class: How Asian Parents Raise High Achievers--and How You Can Too

Average customer rating:

Not bad...
It is a ok book
TOP OF THE CLASS
We Tried It ... and It Worked!
Top of the Class: How Asian Parents Raise High Achievers

Top of the Class: How Asian Parents Raise High Achievers--and How You Can Too
Soo Kim Abboud , and Jane Y. Kim
Manufacturer: Berkley Trade
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

General | Parenting | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books

School-Age Children | Parenting | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books

General | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books
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ASIN: 0425205614

Book Description

Asians and Asian-Americans make up 4% of the U.S. population...and 20% of the Ivy League. Now find out how they do it.

The numbers speak for themselves: 18% of Harvard's population; 25% of Columbia's; 42% of Berkeley's; 24% of Stanford's; 25% of Cornell's...

What are Asian parents doing to start their kids on the road to academic excellence at an early age? What can all parents do to help their children ace tests, strive to achieve, and reach educational goals? In this book, two sisters-a doctor and a lawyer whose parents came from South Korea to the U.S. with two hundred dollars in their pockets-reveal the practices that lead Asian-Americans to academic, professional, and personal success.

The authors contend that Asian-Americans are no more intelligent than any other race or ethnic group. They say, "the reason Asian students out-perform their peers in the classroom has nothing to do with how they

Customer Reviews:

Not bad..........2007-09-20

When I first picked up this book in the store I was heavily skeptical about it. (And yes, it *is* full of overbroad generalizations about America, Asian-Americans, education and so forth...) However, when I got to reading it, I found that heavy-handed chapter titles like "Forget the 'Do Whatever Makes You Happy' Mentality and Strive for Professions with Financial Security and Intellectual Fulfillment" were leavened by the thoughtfulness of the actual text. For example, in the aforementioned chapter, the authors write, "Education is never a waste--it not only opens doors, but also greatly increases your chances for financial security by providing you with skills the average person does not have." In a similar fashion, the authors thoughtfully address both sides of many educational choices throughout the book.

It seems to address those who have ambition for their children to succeed, but who don't feel they have the right tool set to do so. I suspect most of this material is already ingrained in the philosophies of most academically and professionally successful families of any race or background. (For example: Value learning for itself, set positive examples, set goals, be actively involved in your child's academic and social life.)

What seems to differentiate Asian-American families from other achieving families, at least according to the authors, is that the Asian families have no guilt about enforcing very specific academic standards and expectations. No valuing any of this floopy emotional or social development stuff at the expense of work that offers clear-cut, quantifiable returns. I suppose there's no point in arguing child-rearing and education philosophies--it's like arguing religion or politics, i.e. entertaining but futile--but it's interesting to read a well-articulated discussion of one perspective.

All of the above said, it's perfectly pleasant to read the educational life story of these two women and the parents who loved them very much.

Now, there are two unique, concrete ideas or observations that I drew from the book and thought I'd mention here: (1) The authors state that Asian parents use all those supercute Sanrio school supplies (the candy-colored erasers, the pencil cases that incorporate 100 different gadgets) as incentives that encourage kids to view starting school in a positive light. Interesting idea, might be particularly useful for exciting young girls. (2) They suggest parents invite a young student's entire class (and their parents) to early-school-year parties at Chuck E. Cheese or the like. The parents can then get to know their children's friends' parents a little better and ward off any who seem to have radically opposite value systems. That's pretty crafty if you ask me.

I was worried this book was going to capitalize on some "mysterious secrets of the Orient" angle, but it's really quite sensible. And that's the reason I'm giving it three stars. One star is missing because I disagree with some of the educational attitudes, and the second is missing because it's not differentiated enough from good common sense or the trillions of other "help your child succeed" books. A fair amount of good common sense would probably serve much the same purpose as this likable but not standout book.

It is a ok book .......2007-07-18

First, I think some points of the book are laudable. Study has to be a journey with both perseverance and fun. Nobody can go very far without either one. American culture encourages having fun more than hard work, while the Asian culture values persistence more than enjoyment. It is difficult to strike a balance. The parents of the authors have done a good job installing the kids the love to learn and enough perseverance to overcome the obstacles on the road. Another point I like is the involvement of parents in the children's education. No doubt, still at impressible ages, kids will be more motivated if parents spend time and offer guidance about their school work.

However, I feel somehow disturbed after finishing the book. Both authors went straight home after school during their school years so they could continue their study under the mother's guidance. I don't think this life style (lack of communication and understanding with peers, hand held by the parents without independence, deprivation of time to explore their interest and enjoy life) will raise a confident, independent, thoughtful and happy kid. Both authors spent years studying for SAT so they could get good score in the exam. But they didn't mention their parents encouraged them to develop a real thinking habit. Even the book itself has a wooden tone and lacks any original and well thought out analysis. That makes me think what years of cramming and unconditional obedience can do to the malleable young minds.

Anyway, I am glad I finished it and learned something. But I think several arguments in the book are way too rigid and extreme to provide help. So read the book with open mind and don't start applying all the principles before thinking it through.

TOP OF THE CLASS.......2007-07-09

This is a terrific book if for no other reason it has started parents talking about how they are rearing their children. The authors of this book, who are Asian, tell us how their parents specifically and Asian parents in general raise their children. I found very little in this book that I disagree with. The most interesting aspect of this debate is the shear hostility coming from many critics of this book. The authors have been called racist, naïve and unqualified to comment on the subject. I think these critics do protest too much. Are they just defensive because they know deep down inside that their parenting skills suck and have neither the willpower nor desire to actually control their children and provide the kind of direction that these women are talking about?
It seems to me that the absolute worst thing you can say about this is that it is the opinion of two individuals. The book is much more than that. It represents a truth, a reality buttressed by objective data - the success of Asian academically in this Country. These critics who find nothing of value in this book, should examine their own motivations. I have found that many parents are unwilling to invest much time into the intellectual development of their children and are defensive when others do. I think one word comes to mind when you read this book. PROACTIVE. A good parent is proactive.

We Tried It ... and It Worked!.......2007-06-01

As an American temporarily living in Tokyo, I have been very impressed with the high achievements and standards set by the Japanese children around me. For example, at my daughter's school, which encompasses a large international group of children, I noticed that the Japanese and Korean children do seem to take home not only the majority of the academic awards, but also a great majority of the music and sports prizes also.

After a little investigating on my part, I found the American parents often hold the attitude that children should come home and relax or play after school, and that the Asian parents pushed their children too hard to achieve. American children on the most part did not study beyond doing the required homework, played whatever sport was available for the three month sport season, and had no required practice time for music or other skills. However, after school many Japanese children attend extra school tutoring. Rather than play a different sport every three months, they concentrate on one sport, practicing year round to achieve greater competence. It is expected that homework, music or sports practice, or whatever be done to the best of one's ability.

After reading this book, I applied several of the ideas to my daughter. I have just left her end of the school year award ceremony, where she just increased her reading book count from last years minimum, to this year being the second highest reader of the school. She also just received an award for her new musical accomplishments. As for after school activities, she recently won several trophies for big wins in swimming competitions. She is so proud of herself, sees what a little extra work can do, and wants to accomplish more. This summer we are adding extra math work to bring that score up to the reading score, and two weeks at swim camp.

The ideas work. Read with an open mind, and I am sure you can find several ideas you can apply with your child also.

Top of the Class: How Asian Parents Raise High Achievers.......2007-05-15

I thought it was very poorly written. The authors claimed that one of the reasons that American children are not as successful in school as Asian children is because they are involved in too many extracurricular activities. While I agree that extracurricular activities should not cut into study time, I believe that there should be a balance. There are many American parents who have found this balance and their children are the ones that do well in school. I want my daughter to be successful, but I also want her to be happy.

Babyproofing Your Marriage: How to Laugh More, Argue Less, and Communicate Better as Your Family Grows

Average customer rating:

Saved my marriage
Good for some laughs; won't "fix" everything though!
A Safety Feature No Parent Should Be Without!
Practical, Specific, and Dad-Friendly
Tincture for the even the best of marriages

Babyproofing Your Marriage: How to Laugh More, Argue Less, and Communicate Better as Your Family Grows
Stacie Cockrell , Cathy O'Neill , and Julia Stone
Manufacturer: Collins
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

Marriage | Relationships | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

General | Parenting | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books

General | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books
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ASIN: 0061173541
Release Date: 2007-01-23

Book Description

Warning! New parents are likely to experience:

Scorekeeping—An exceedingly complex, often relentless, tit-for-tat war waged by husbands and wives over the division of parenting responsibilities and domestic chores.

The Ten O'Clock Shoulder Tap—Considered by many men to be a form of foreplay. A paw on a wife's shoulder is how some men indicate their desire for sex. The Tap is rarely accompanied by a term of endearment or any other verbal form of communication and is seldom well received by the often-sleeping/almost-always-exhausted wife. The frustrated husband, meanwhile, wonders if his wife has pulled a Bait and Switch in the bedroom.

Clash of the Grannies—A high stakes "who will have the greatest influence on the grandkids" tournament played by each set of grandparents. Competitive categories include: the Title Championship (who gets to be called "Grandma"), the Battle for Floor and Wall Space, the Battle for Face Time, and Gratuitous Grandparental Gift-Giving.

The Babyproofers are three women who wouldn't trade their roles as mothers for anything, and they love their husbands deeply. But after living through it and hearing the stories of hundreds of other couples, they know that with young children in the house, you need to block the stairs with baby gates, put plastic covers over the outlets, AND take the necessary steps to safeguard your marriage.

Babyproofing Your Marriage is the warts-and-all truth about how having children can affect your relationship. The authors explore the transition to parenthood in light of their own experiences, with input from their husbands and commentary from men and women across the country. Their evenhanded approach to both sides of the marital equation allows spouses to understand each other in a whole new way.

With loads of humor and practical advice, the Babyproofers will guide first-time parents and veterans alike around the rocky shores of the early parenting years. Don't fall prey to common relationship pitfalls: Babyproof Your Marriage!

Customer Reviews:

Saved my marriage.......2007-09-19

This book stopped me from wanting to get a divorce, no kidding. If you just had your first baby and your marriage that seemed so solid is completely different, read this book. I saw myself in it and forgave a lot more of my husbands faults. I didnt feel so alone after reading this. It is a lifesaver.

Good for some laughs; won't "fix" everything though!.......2007-09-12

I enjoyed this book and found some comfort in knowing we were not alone in hitting some "bumps" and adjustments with having a baby. Overall, however, most of the suggested remedies in the book really wouldn't work for us. For example, they recommend making a list of ALL baby-related tasks and splitting them up. This just seems a bit too much for me. After all, it is a marriage and we need to work on being kind to each other and serving one another, not just splitting up a huge list and then blaming each other if we don't hold up our end of the "bargain." Once again, though, the book is funny and it was a good read.

A Safety Feature No Parent Should Be Without!.......2007-08-29

I purchased this book alongside several others. I read it through, and was amazed. I laughed a lot - half the time in sheer amusement, and the other half in a grim sort of co-misery with the authors.

There are bits for both men and women, and while none of the three authors professes to have a degree of any kind, they have spoken to hundreds of parents and couples, and the results are all the amazingly obvious things we never thought about.

If you feel you're married to a basically decent person, but your marriage is in serious trouble, try this first. A lot of the 'serious trouble' that marriages go through goes away in five years - you may just be in a rough spot, and in need of some help.

Ladies: This book caused my husband to voluntarily take on studying the techniques of manicures and pedicures. He changed diapers before, but now he really seems to understand. He even randomly offers to take the baby for a few hours so I can rest or even leave!

Husbands: Imagine getting a Five Minute Fix (you already _know_ what that means) every Friday night, from the woman you love. Yeah. Get the book. Read it, then give it to her.

Practical, Specific, and Dad-Friendly.......2007-08-16

This is a very practical, specific, and insightful book regarding how men and women act in their marriage, why they do, and what changes (or will need to change) when you throw children into the mix. I especially recommend that couples read it so you can talk through the "do you *really* think that way?" sections. It's not a perfect book, but it is one of the best parenting books I've come across. The issues it does have are attributable less to fault by the authors and are more to its origins and purpose.

Written by three women it does a better than average job of representing men's feelings and motivations but cannot do it perfectly because, well, the authors are not men (go figure).

The other fault is due to it's purpose. That is, it attempts to guide middle- to upper-class heterosexual married couples through the pitfalls and tribulations of child rearing. With this goal in mind it does not mention any alternative parenting situation, it does not adequately address the special challenges that lower-income families have, and either for effect or (sadly) because this is actually the norm, it assumes a rather parochial view of marriage responsibilities where men expect women to do the child rearing.

Perhaps this last criticism is unfair, as this book is actually an attempt to explain both the biological origins of those assumed responsibilities, as well as to provide a mechanism to communicate and perhaps to better share the load. Even so, there appears to be a tacit assumption that your marriage accepts those roles.

One word of caution: some parts are scary and will make you want run to the drug store for your favorite brand of contraceptive. So, if you have, or are planning to have children, also pick up a "lighter" book on parenting such as "Crouching Father, Hidden Toddler" or "Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads" to lighten the mood.

Tincture for the even the best of marriages.......2007-07-26

I have a great marriage. My husband is thoughtful and respectful. Generally, I'll venture to say he thinks I'm thoughtful and respectful. However, men's basic needs and women's basic needs aren't exactly the same. Any psychologist or health professional can tell you that. What they don't tell you is how to deal with those differences. This book does tell you, and it isn't sugar-coated. I love that!

But the best thing about this book is that the book itself serves as an opportunity to bring husband and wife together...to bridge that gap that is created when needs diverge. We sat together and laughed for hours at the hilarious examples that "ring true". It gave both of us amusement (and, quite frankly, comfort) to know we aren't alone.

Whether you (the collective you) read it to learn something, or just read it for fun just to get a few laughs, I would definitely get it on your bookshelf if you are a married couple with kid(s)...or if you're planning to be one soon!

Surviving a bordline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds and build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem

Average customer rating:

Live Saver
Amazing!
So great, so compassionate!
Extremely Helpful
Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds & Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem

Surviving a bordline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds and build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem
Kimberlee Roth , Freda B. Friedman , and Randi Kreger
Manufacturer: New Harbinger Publications
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

General | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Personal Transformation | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

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Accessories:

ASIN: 1572243287

Book Description

Although relatively common, Borderline Personality Disorder, or BPD, is often overlooked or misdiagnosed by therapists and clinicians and denied by those who suffer from it.

Symptoms of this tragic problem include unpredictability, violence and uncontrollable anger, deep depression and self-abuse. Parents with BPD are often unable to provide for the basic physical and emotional needs of their children. In an ironic and painful role reversal, BPD parents can actually raise children to be their caretakers. They may burden even very young children with adult responsibilities. They tend to demand unreasonable levels of emotional and material support from those least able to provide it. Plagued by irrational fears and anxieties, BPD parents often transfer feelings of self-hatred onto their children. salting the wounds inflicted by their insatiable need with constant denigration and abuse.

If you were raised by a BPD parent, your childhood was a volatile and painful time. This book, the first written specifically for children of borderline parents, offers step-by-step guidance to understanding and overcoming the lasting effects of being raised by a person suffering from this disorder. Learn what psychological criteria are necessary for a BPD diagnosis and identify the specific characteristics your parent presents. Discover specific coping strategies for dealing with issues common to children of borderline parents: low self-esteem, lack of trust, guilt, and hypersensitivity. Make the major decision whether to confront your parent about his or her condition.

Customer Reviews:

Live Saver.......2007-10-03

If you were raised by parents that for what ever reason were not able to nuture you as a child and you are interested in personal growth this is the book for you! This book is my bible.

Amazing!.......2007-09-27

This book was so-o-o well written. It is very sympathetic and non-judgemental towards the children of Borderline parents - it gives them (us) hope for a better life through exercises and new ways of thinking about ourselves and the world.

So great, so compassionate!.......2007-08-08

This book was a difficult and great read. The author truly sets the tone for the adult child of a BPD parent, letting the adult child know that though the labels of BPD are difficult to swallow it allows the child to know they are not crazy nor alone. I recommend this book to all who have grown up in a home with a parent with BPD. Five stars indeed!

Extremely Helpful.......2007-06-18

I must say, it's a wonderful read for anyone with a parent with BPD or BPD - tendencies. I spent years trying to figure out what was so "off" in my childhood household - this book lays it out and laid the foundation for several "A-ha" moments. I highly recommend.
You can see the effects of the book here:
[...]

Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds & Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem.......2007-06-12

This book contains an incredible wealth of knowledge and understanding of both the symptoms and reactions to this type of condition. While respecting the unique circumstances surrounding an individual's challenges in coping, it provides methods for overcoming the feelings of: confusion, frustrations, hurt, neglect, and even anger, among others, thus guiding you on your individual path to healing. This is a "must read" for anyone remotely confronting such challenges in their own life, or if trying to understand those challenges being faced by a friend or loved one.

How to Choose the Sex of Your Baby: Fully revised and updated

Average customer rating:

Worked for us
Easy to understand
Repetative and useless information
Sex of Your Baby
Be careful and beware

How to Choose the Sex of Your Baby: Fully revised and updated
Landrum B. Shettles , and David M. Rorvik
Manufacturer: Broadway
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

General | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

General | Parenting | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books

General | Parenting & Families | Subjects | Books
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ASIN: 0767926102
Release Date: 2006-10-10

Book Description

For almost forty years, How to Choose the Sex of Your Baby has been the standard reference for couples trying to increase their chances of having the son or daughter they hope for. In this new edition of their classic book, Dr. Shettles and David Rorvik provide authoritative scientific studies and compelling anecdotal evidence demonstrating that the Shettles method continues to produce results unmatched by any other method. Dozens of testimonials confirm its ease of use and rate of success.

How to Choose the Sex of Your Baby explains the simple, at-home, noninvasive Shettles method and presents detailed steps to take to conceive a child of a specific gender. The properly applied Shettles method gives couples a 75 percent or better chance of having a child of the desired sex. Some researchers have reported success rates of up to 90 percent!

Customer Reviews:

Worked for us.......2007-10-12

This particular sex selection method has worked for us three times. I was monitoring very carefully for ovulation each time. That is the key. We read the whole book before trying to concieve the first time. We both work in the medical field and the suggestions by Dr. Shettles made sense to us from a physiological perspective. We tried for a boy first just to see if it worked. Not only was I pregnant the first month, it was a boy. So we tried for a girl next. Same thing. Our third time we tried for a boy and got pregnant the first month with a boy. We want one more child and are hoping for a girl. We'll see. The bottom line with any sex selection method is that it has to make sense to you and you have to be willing to follow it closely, but most importantly be thankful when you have a child regardless of the gender. Any "natural" sex selection method only works about 80% of the time even when closely followed.

Easy to understand.......2007-08-06

The book is very easy to understand and I enjoy reading it. The down side of it is that it is very small and most of the things that are in the book are obtainable from the internet. The vaginal mucus is somehow confusing. However, I hope the book will help me to have more chances of conceiving a boy next year (2008) after June. I also bought another book called Guarantee the Sex of Your Baby: Choose a Girl or Boy Using Today's 99.9% Accurate Sex Selection Techniques by Robin Elise Weiss. I will compare it with Dr. Shettles book.

Repetative and useless information.......2007-05-16

I gave this book 3 stars because some of the information was indeed valuable.But the first 100 pages were completely irrelevant. Its called how to choose the sex of your baby yet he speaks of what aristotle thought. Who cares? History is wonderful and all but is it worth 100 pages?

The repetition comes in the chapters where it talks specifically how to try for a boy or a girl. It tells you to read both chapters no matter what you are trying for but repeats the same thing. Out of the 230 pages, i have a page and a half of notes. I recommend you borrow a copy of this from the library. It honestly isnt worth adorning your shelves with.

Sex of Your Baby.......2007-05-13

We'll see if this works. I have a few friends who have used this method and been successful. It sounds logical to me so I'll find out soon if it worked for us.

Be careful and beware.......2007-02-17

Such a book is naturally biased toward favor of the technique. But readers should look up "Shettles Method" on the web and read up on more critical evaluations. For example, "...adherence to these methods may decrease your chances of conception, without improving the odds of having a child of the gender of your choice. Note that caffeine has been linked to miscarriage, and douching has been linked to tubal damage and infertility." and "...in the New England Journal of Medicine, that has shown that 'for practical purposes, the timing of sexual intercourse in relation to ovulation has no influence on the sex of the baby.'"

You can also find out the details of the method (such as a simple chart) before investing in the book.

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