Book Description
"No one book resolves a lifetime of hurts and misunderstandings, but it can remove the blinders from our eyes. Make an effort now."
LOS ANGELES TIMES
No matter how old you are and whether or not your parents are alive, you have to come to terms with them. This wise and practical book will show you how to deal with the most fundamental relationships in your life and, in the process, become the happy, creative, and fulfilled person you are meant to be.
Customer Reviews:
Just what the doctor ordered!.......2005-08-08
This book has saved me a lot of time in therapy. The author's experience in helping clients work though many of the same issues that I'm faced with. His format worked great - summary real-life example, what's the issue, what did he advise (maybe some exercises if it's "easier said than done"), and what was the result. It's given me a whole new set of tools for recognizing what is going on between the words with my mom and I, how I CHOOSE to deal with situations, and take responsibility for building a new relationship.
You'd think that the advice would be dated by now, but it is wonderful. It was a much more helpful than the more "modern" book that I also ordered.
Great Read.......2004-03-18
I highly recommend this book. At first I worried that it would be out of date since it was written a while back. To the contrary, it is ageless. It goes to the core of the subject--making peace with your parents--and teachers you how to do it. This will give you great inner peace.
The Greatest Gift That You Give Yourself.......2004-02-04
In the 80's, while browsing the bookstore, someone had recommended this book to me. And I reacted with, "No. I don't think so."
Internally, my reaction was, "But you don't understand where I come from. Nobody has experienced anything like this."
This internal reaction kept me unconsciously (psychically, if you will) beating up my parents and myself. It was an agreement with myself. Or, more appropriately, I nourished and preserved an excuse for my not reaching my potential.
I read this book in 1998. This was nine years after I had made a commitment to myself to endlessly grow.
Some other books that helped me were, "My Mother Myself," to understand my relationship with my mother. And, John Bradshaw's, "Family Secrets," to understand to unspoken truths.
Five years later, as I look at my life now, I am glad that I have made peace with my parents (They did the best that they knew how; and I love for that).
Recently someone whom I've known since 1976, but had lost contact with, said to me, "Wow. I'm glad I have a great family who is always here for me."
This was a wake up call for me, because I truly responded internally with, "Wow! I am glad that I had the experiences that I had. I am also glad that I have made a commitment to use each of those experiences to enhance my self-image. Without my parents, I wouldn't be all that I love about myself."
So, for those of you who fear reading a book that guides you to take responsibility for your life, congratulate yourself for recognizing your fear. That can be the beginning of your choosing to be the best you possible - and loving that.
Life-changing!.......2002-04-26
I read a previous edition of this book 16 years ago and I am still reaping the benefits. At first, I hesitated to purchase the book because I didn't feel ready for peace. It turned out the book was really about working with the irritation with my parents I had built up over the years. Doing all the exercises in this book was one of the best things I've ever done for myself. Afterwards I felt stronger and more at peace and it was so much easier for me to have enjoyable conversations with my mother without feeling annoyed. It wasn't like I had to have any confrontation with her about anything either. I just felt better around her and it made our relationship so much better.
Don't just read the book. You have to take time to seriously DO all the exercises. I don't think just reading the book would accomplish much.
Exhaustingly empowering.......2000-03-30
This book walks the reader through steps in seeking out the everyday childhood issues which have been overlooked yet are hindering function as an adult. The exercises will exhause you, bring tears, and at times make you resent the author even suggesting anything like this could be true, yet once the exercises are completed, a new level of awaereness and freedom emerges. It is definately worth the reading, but it is also a book which only gives he reader what the reader is willing to put into it. Give 100% and the return will be in gold!
Book Description
Guilt. Criticism. Control. Competition. Anger
-Do these words reflect your relationship with your mother?
-Can your mother make you feel guilty in thirty seconds or less?
-Do you feel that whatever you do or say, you're still not good enough for her?
-Does it feel like the woman who has known you the longest doesn't really know you at all?
If so, you are most likely experiencing mama drama, the ongoing conflict with your mother that seems too complicated to fix. But Denise McGregor has solutions for turning a challenging relationship with Mother into one that is joyful, healthy, and loving. Written with humor and heart, Mama Drama will help you get past the blame and guilt, move on with your life, and redefine your relationship with the one person you thought you'd never understand--your mother.
Customer Reviews:
You Mean I'm Not Crazy!.......2007-04-11
This book was so helpful that I passed it on to a friend. I have actually used advice suggested by the author and my life with my mom has improved significantly. It truly helped in that my mother has to break the apron strings and I have to take the responsiblity to grow up. If nothing else, this book puts boundaries in perspective. I am normally reserved about self-help books, but as a practicing mental health professional, this one will become one of my more recommended to clients.
helpful book.......2006-09-29
I'm writing a review even though I haven't completely finished reading the book in case my review helps someone else. This book is very helpful. The author doesn't mention a lot of pscyhological terms but rather tries to help you understand why you mother is doing what she is doing and provides you with tips on how to balance the relationship so you are not constantly stressed and discouraged. She encourages you not to "divorce" your mom like some would say but tells you to think about what you want out of the relationship and then work to that goal, often by finding some common ground that you can stand on to related to your mother.
I'm sort of in the midst of some major issues with my mother (again) and the one thing I am struggling with are feeling of guilt and isolation and the "why me" mindset as it relates to my mother. Wondering why I can't have a good relationship with my mother like I see other women have with their mothers. I feel further isolated since I don't have a sister or an aunt and my grandmother has passed so there's not even another woman in my family that I can share my feelings with to help me feel better. This book provides lots of examples that help you realize you are not alone and that it is possible to not be super close to your mother and still be a good person.
There is one thing I struggled with that the author says. She says that your mother isn't out to hurt you and she even pointed to examples of child abuse and extreme cases where mothers have killed their children and she still says that those mothers weren't out to hurt their children and that their actions were about their issues and so forth (please read the book for the exact wording on this topic). Anyway I disagreed with that because I think sometimes mothers can wish to hurt their children, consiously and unconsciously I think sometimes mothers are jealous, resentful, unhappy with their own lives and just mean and that they do want to hurt their children. Do I think they may regret it after the fallout of their actions? Yes. Do I think they also have times or moments where they love their children? Yes. But I just felt like when the author said they don't want to hurt you it was almost excusing the behavior and saying that your mother really loves you no matter what and that any bad thing is really not to hurt you and I just don't think I believe that...but that is my opinion.
Let me say again that the book is wonderful and offers great insight in dealing with a problem that can make you feel very sad and lonely. It's worth it if you are having an issue...perhaps you can find some peace in the pages of this book.
I have read many mother/daughter books.......2006-07-09
but this one is the best so far, even topping Deborah Tannen's helpful one ("You're Wearing That?"). What I especially found so helpful about this book is that it isn't laden with anecdotes. Instead Denise McGregor has insightful explanations for mothers' motivations, daughters' responses, and how to understand and heal these areas. She also has a deeply spiritual ( not religious) undertone that I found very calming and peaceful. Denise is an excellent writer and knows how to explain even the most complicated issues in such a way that I felt I could understand my relationship with my mom in a whole new way. For so many years I felt alone, and that I was the only one feeling so much guilt when it came to my mom, and Denise's book is so enlightening. I realize that not only am I not a freak but that it is a really common issue with most mothers and daughters, and Denise offers beautiful, excellent advice on how to deal positively and release guilt.
I can not stress how great this book is. Like I said, I have read many many many, and now I feel like this is it. I do not have to read any more mother daughter books ever again. This one book has set me on the road to healing and improving my relationship with my mom. I hope it can help you too.
A great resource for daughters AND their mothers.......1999-05-11
This book provided a lot of helpful information for mending estranged mother-daughter relationships. It also offers suggestions for improving existing relationships. Mother-daughter relationships are very complicated and the guidelines outlined in Ms. McGregor's book assist with shaping the relationship into something that is appreciated by both the mother and the daughter.
Every Mother and Daughter should read this book!!.......1999-02-05
What an incredible source of inspiration!! I had the great pleasure to attend one of Ms. McGregor's seminars and found her not only to be a warm and caring person but a tremendous source of strength and knowledge that has helped me mend my relationship with my mother. Mama Drama is a must have in any household!! For you men out there, if you care about the women in your lives, make the emotional investment and get a copy for your mothers, sisters, daughters and wives! An absolute winner!! Thank you Denise for changing my life!!
Book Description
Healing words on restoring the mother-daughter relationship with insights on how it affects spiritual life and all other relationships.
Customer Reviews:
RESTORING THE MOTHER-DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP.......2007-05-01
When you think about your mother's influence - even if she is no longer in your life - do you feel hurt, frustrated, or angry about your past?
If you have unresolved issues concerning your relationship with your mom, it can impact every area of your life. This book, written by licensed marriage and family therapist H. Norman Wright and his daughter, offers godly wisdom and practical insights to help today's women make peace with their moms.
Co-author Sheryl Wright Macauley admits that rebellion in her 20s caused a rift between her and her mom, yet through God's healing, their relationship has been restored. Using these experiences and God's wisdom, she wants to reach out to women and offer them hope.
Each chapter includes questions and space for journaling, making this a therapeutic experience for readers. Packed with real-life stories, I highly recommend this book for all moms and teen-up daughters to read.
--Christian Women Online Book Buzz
Review - Making Peace With Your Mom: Steps to a Healthier Mother-Daughter Relationship.......2007-04-26
Have you ever wondered why it is that you can hear your mother's voice in your head even when she isn't around? Or why your mother can infuriate you like no one else can? Readers will learn the answers to the questions and more in Making Peace With Your Mom: Steps to a Healthier Mother-Daughter Relationship.
This book is filled with practical advice for daughters with mothers of every type - from overbearing to neglectful and even those who have lost their mothers. Readers will learn the reasons behind their mothers behavior and ways that they can deal with the emotional stress of the mother/daughter relationship.
Wright and Macauley have also included journaling pages with questions for the reader about their relationship with their mother. This gives the reader a chance to apply the helpful advice to their own situation.
H. Norman Wright and his daughter, Sheryl Wright Macauley, tackle this difficult subject of mother/daughter relationships in Making Peace With Your Mom. Wright, a licensed therapist is the author of more than seventy books. Macauley is an award-winning artist and a daughter who contributes heartfelt glimpses into the relationship she has with her mother.
Review by:
Jill Hart, [...]
Come to terms with your mother.......2007-02-03
Reviewed by Stephanie Rollins for Reader Views (1/07)
H. Norman Wright has written more than 70 books. He is a licensed marriage therapist. His daughter, Sheryl Wright Macauley, an illustrator, joined him to write "Making Peace with Your Mom."
Wright and Macauley summarize well the different types of mothers. Some neglect. Some smother. There are many in-betweens. How many of us remember the criticism of our mothers that still haunt us into adulthood? "Making Peace with Your Mom" teaches us how to cope with those negative feelings.
"Making Peace with Your Mom" mixes Godly advice with quips from women about their relationships with their mothers. Many of the descriptions are sad. "My mother had a deep hatred for me. She seemed jealous. If I was prettier or thinner than her, she hated me and let me know it."
Other statements were uplifting and reminded me of the importance of motherhood. "My mother is loving, nurturing, encouraging, and kind." The theme throughout the book is that your mother will probably not change her behavior unless you take the initiative to make her change her behavior. Ultimately, it is our responsibility to be accountable for our own feelings.
Why do we want to avoid scrutinizing the relationship we have with our mothers? As one woman explains, "I am afraid to look too closely. I guess I'm afraid of what I'll find. I don't want to discover that what I felt all along is true." It is so much easier to sweep it under the rug--or is it? Wright and Macauley explain that the anger, frustration, and other negative feelings we have in association with our mothers will affect each aspect of our lives, especially our relationships with our daughters, if we do not address the issues. Though we may not be able to change all the annoying behaviors of our mothers, we can change the way we react to the behaviors.
"Making Peace with Your Mom" inspired me to try harder to be a mom that my daughter deserves. I hope when she grows up that she sees that I truly have tried to be what she needed me to be. I want her to describe me as one stated in the book, "As a little girl, my mom was always there for me. She was a stay-at-home mom who worked alongside my dad...."
Average customer rating:
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Making Peace With Your Adult Children
SHAUNA SMITH
Manufacturer: Plenum Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover
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ASIN: 0306437678 |
Book Description
Having a prodigal affects families profoundly--especially a sibling who has remained obedient. Sue Thompson shares her story of struggle, shame, and hope in The Prodigal Brother. Recognizing the unresolved anger that the sibling may experience, this book offers ways to heal the pain of feeling second place in a parent's attention. Thompson writes with sensitivity about forgiving a wayward brother or sister without excusing the behavior. Anyone who has been "the good kid" in the family will find answers, understanding, and the knowledge needed to unload the emotional baggage of growing up with a prodigal in the home.
Customer Reviews:
Changed My Life .......2007-01-22
For anyone who has struggled with forgiveness, this is the book for you. Not only does the author give a new and fresh look at the story of the prodigal son, she also shares a path to forgiveness that I've never heard before. I have many pages dog-eared. But pages 182-184 floored me and God has used this author's story of forgiveness to melt my heart. I've been able to see some difficult people through God's eyes. I highly recommend this book & this author.
It's About the Older Son.......2005-09-02
The previous reviewer missed the title by a mile! The book's title doesn't refer to Sue's brother--it refers to HER. Sue takes a look at the parable of the prodigal son from a different angle: it's the story of a family. Her messed-up brother represents the prodigal son and she sees herself as the older brother. She calls him "the prodigal brother" because he was far away from home in his own way. Sue is very honest about her role in a dysfunctional family. She tells the truth about how she saw herself as standing apart from her family because her parents' focus was on her drug abusing, alcoholic brother. There was no party thrown for her because she was the "good" kid; all the family resources were spent on her brother.
This isn't just a book for people who had/have a "bad" kid in the family. It's for anyone who needs help in finding a way to forgive. No formulas here--just an encouragement for people to see what they went through from God's point of view. This is a deeply personal account of a journey with wonderful insights.
A thought-provoking approach to making peace with your memories.......2005-08-25
This book's title phrase, "prodigal brother," doesn't refer to the intended reader but rather to a troublesome sibling --- the wayward one who has wreaked havoc on the family dynamics. Author Sue Thompson had such a brother, her only and younger sibling, the kind who could have been a child candidate for the "Dr. Phil" show: full of fear and anger...trouble from the day he was prematurely born. "After a lengthy separation from his mother he was handed to her as though there was nothing wrong --- but in fact, everything was wrong and he never recovered...Who can understand why one child is broken and another endures? I believe my brother's little spirit was simply fragile from the beginning."
With great honesty --- but from a distance --- Thompson weaves her own story through the book. She summarizes personalities and family patterns but rarely transports us to a scene. "My brother was completely without self-control...His language was shockingly foul, his friends were alarmingly gross, his hygiene was disgustingly indifferent. I remember my parents yelling and pleading and arguing with him, and I watched him win every time. Even when they seemed to win, they lost, because while their intentions remained steadfast, they just couldn't seem to follow through."
Yes, Thompson always refers to him --- Danny --- in the past tense, as he died "a few years ago," in his early forties, of heart disease exacerbated by "decades of drug and alcohol abuse." Her mother has also died, and her father lives far away in the fog of Alzheimer's. These principal players being absent, the book's subtitle, "Making Peace with Your Parents, Your Past, and the Wayward One in Your Family," refers more to making peace with the memories than to working out ongoing relationships with difficult prodigals or parents who have unintentionally caused great pain to the "faithful" child who stayed the course, prayed for peace, and longed for attention. "How should I have loved my brother? I still don't know. It's hard to imagine how I might have loved him rightly because I was not mature enough to understand the complexities of love."
In sorting through painful memories, Thompson, who has a master's degree in clinical psychology, looks at her own culpability in the family dynamics, placing herself in the indignant, angry, self-righteous role of the "older brother" as portrayed in Jesus' prodigal parable. The problems she raises are familial. The answers she gives are spiritual. Citing Scripture and biblical life-stories, such as Hagar and Elijah, she lays out a journey from immaturity to maturity, from denial to grief over what might have been, to gratitude, and eventually hard-wrought forgiveness.
There's a lot of thought-provoking material here for adult children who've been wounded by well-meaning families. Though Thompson never hears anyone say, "I'm sorry," she finds healing and offers every reader hope of the same.
--- Reviewed by Evelyn Bence
Product Description
Biblical and practical. For parents who seek to foster their relationships with their teenage children and guide them toward Christian values and a heartfelt love for God.
Book Description
A compassionate and accessible guide to understanding the complicated bonds between parents and adult children--a book that helps families build healthier and more fulfilling relationships.
Customer Reviews:
A Working Tool for Families.......2001-10-26
I was given this book and did a quick red through... It was well set up and I got myself a Stenographer's note book and did the extercises... It was most interesting to reach into myself and find out what I was feeling towards my children (sons 38 and 35). Much of my views, hopes and dreams for them were set by me and not copied by me from those things my mother had instilled in me...It was a mind opening revelation of emotions. I felt good about most of the things I and my husband had done... when finished i sent the book and my notebook to one of my sons who had been out of touch with us since getting married several years ago. We really liked the lady he chose to marry, but for reasons known only to them they left all families... I felt this was a wonderful way to share my thoughts with them and to let them know the door is always open for them.
I highly recommend this book to any parent. it's a wonderful exercise on relationships and all that went into raising the child as he/she was raised.
Books:
- Marriage And Family Experience with Infotrac: Intimate Relationships in a Changing Society
- Mastering Family Therapy: Journeys of Growth and Transformation
- Me Talk Pretty One Day
- Momfidence!: An Oreo Never Killed Anybody and Other Secrets of Happier Parenting
- Natural First Aid: Herbal Treatments for Ailments & Injuries/Emergency Preparedness/Wilderness Safety (Storey Medicinal Herb Guide)
- Not Even My Name: A True Story
- On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep (On Becoming. . .)
- On Food and Cooking: The Science and Lore of the Kitchen
- Our Family Tree: An Evolution Story
- Parents Do Make A Difference: How to Raise Kids with Solid Character, Strong Minds, and Caring Hearts (The Jossey-Bass Psychology Series)
Books Index
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