Average customer rating:
- A Must Have
- All Diamonds In The Rough Need Polishing
- All Diamonds In The Rough Need Polishing
- More Than A Book... It's A Handbook
- Practical and fun!
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Parents Do Make A Difference: How to Raise Kids with Solid Character, Strong Minds, and Caring Hearts (The Jossey-Bass Psychology Series)
Michele Borba
Manufacturer: John Wiley & Sons
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Binding: Paperback
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Building Moral Intelligence: The Seven Essential Virtues that Teach Kids to Do the Right Thing
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ASIN: 0787946052 |
Amazon.com
In 1998, a fierce debate was sparked by Judith Rich Harris's The Nurture Assumption: Why Children Turn Out the Way They Do: Parents Matter Less Than You Think and Peers Matter More, a fairly scholarly book that posited, as clearly indicated by the subhead, the radical theory that children are more influenced by peers and siblings than they are by their parents. Parents Do Make a Difference, by Michele Borba, Ed.D., has clearly been marketed as a rebuttal. The title alone is a kind of bolster to parents' sagging self-esteem.
Once you open the book, though, it's just as clear that, marketing aside, the book was not actually written as part of the parents vs. peers debate, which it has absolutely nothing to do with. Nor is it a scholarly work, in the vein of Harris's book. The original title of this book was probably something like "The Eight Skills of Raising Successful Children." These simple skills, which Borba (author of 36 other educational publications) has researched and workshopped across the country, then implemented in the curriculum of three elementary schools, are commonsensical, feel-good affirmations for parents and kids. Borba uses lots of lists: the aforementioned eight skills, "four steps to developing positive self-beliefs," "four steps to enhancing social competence," and so on. The "success tips" and affirmations are pretty straightforward, as with this suggested "pillowgram": "Slip a message under your child's pillow. 'Kevin, I loved looking at your drawings today. You are so artistic! Sleep tight! Love, Dad.'" These are fine, basic self-esteem builders; unfortunately, they can sometimes veer too much on the cloying side. But for parents who want to help their children develop the eight skills (self-confidence, communication, getting along, perseverance, self-awareness, problem solving, goal setting, and caring), it should be of significant help.
Book Description
For Teachers and Parents of Children to Age 12
Finally, a book that shows you how to teach kids the eight indispensable skills-self-confidence, self-awareness, communication, problem solving, getting along, goal setting, perseverance, and empathy-they'll need for living confident, happy, and productive lives. Filled with step-by-step advice, practical ideas, and real-life examples, Parents Do Make a Difference puts field-tested tools into the hands of every parent and teacher who wants their children to succeed.
"The fact is this may well be the only book you'll ever need on raising great children."--from the Foreword by Jack Canfield, coauthor of Chicken Soup for the Soul
Customer Reviews:
A Must Have.......2007-07-26
I have bought tons of books over the years many were good some not so much this is one of the only books I have kept and always go back to for advice and ideas. This book is a must have for all parents
All Diamonds In The Rough Need Polishing.......2001-08-23
This book is one of the gems -- a diamond in the rough -- on parenting. Written in simple language, it's the "basic course" on "HOW TO RAISE KIDS WITH SOLID CHARACTER, STRONG MINDS, AND CARING HEARTS". So read, use, and understand. Hmm. Understand? What do you do when the kids ask, "WHY?"! Hmm. You'll need a book that makes you understand -- in simple language -- the philosophy of WHY character counts, of right and wrong, of good and evil, of moral and immoral, and of ethical and unethical. The school that exists to teach the "advanced course" in "HOW TO RAISE KIDS WITH SOLID CHARACTER, STRONG, MINDS, AND CARING HEARTS" is West Point. The only book that explains the philosophy behind all the "WHYS" -- in simple language -- is the book titled "WEST POINT", by Norman Thomas Remick. It's THE companion book for all how-to books and "courses", basic or advanced, on parenting and character. It will become kind of an encyclopedia that you can refer to for explaining "WHY?" to your kids. And it will give Borba's diamond in the rough its required polish.
All Diamonds In The Rough Need Polishing.......2001-08-23
This book is one of the gems -- a diamond in the rough -- on parenting. Written in simple language, it's the "basic course" on "HOW TO RAISE KIDS WITH SOLID CHARACTER, STRONG MINDS, AND CARING HEARTS". So read, use, and understand. Hmm. Understand? What do you do when the kids ask, "WHY?"! Hmm. You'll need a book that makes you understand -- in simple language -- the philosophy of WHY character counts, of right and wrong, of good and evil, of moral and immoral, and of ethical and unethical. The school that exists to teach the "advanced course" in "HOW TO RAISE KIDS WITH SOLID CHARACTER, STRONG, MINDS, AND CARING HEARTS" is West Point. The only book that explains the philosophy behind all the "WHYS" -- in simple language -- is the book titled "WEST POINT", by Norman Thomas Remick. It's THE companion book for all how-to books and "courses", basic or advanced, on parenting and character. It will become kind of an encyclopedia that you can refer to for explaining "WHY?" to your kids. And it will give Borba's diamond in the rough its required polish.
More Than A Book... It's A Handbook.......2001-01-22
Parents Do Make a Difference is more than a book, it's a handbook. Dr. Borba uses extensive use of checklists, exercises, helpful suggestions and real life examples to help parents teach the skills of personal, emotional and motivational success to their children.
In this book, Dr. Borba has woven personal experiences, and sometimes complex behavioral theories, into messages that are clear and comprehensive for all parents.
Readers will appreciate the practicality of the author's approach. For example, Dr. Borba points out, early in the book, that family conditions help nurture the self-esteem of children. Meaning, all of the exercise and tips in this book may be meaningless if the parent doesn't have the ability to authentically mirror the behaviors they are attempting to teach their children.
To assist in further action for parents, she has also included several resources (books, videos, and web sites) at the end of each chapter. ...
Practical and fun!.......2000-04-18
Parenting is hard enough without having to spend all my time trying to figure out the latest greatest parenting book! Parents Do Make A Difference is exceptional and I truly believe it has all the elements a parent needs to overcome all the difficulties we encounter raising kids. Dr. Borba's book is so practical, and I loved the stories used to illustrate her premise. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is looking for the right answers, not the best theories!
Book Description
Following her previous New York Times bestsellers, Dr.Laura Schlessinger, the conscience of talk radio, now addresses an issue near and dear to her heart: the stupid things parents do to mess up their children. Never one to shy away from tough truths, Dr. Laura marshals compelling evidence for the widespread neglect of America's children and convincingly condemns the numerous rationalizations to excuse it. These are just a few of her hard-hitting points:
- Don't Have Them If You Won't Raise Them: "The cavalier manner in which our society treats child care, not as a matter of intimacy and love, but as a matter of convenience and economics, is deeply destructive to our children's sense of attachment, identity, and importance."
- Dads Need Not Apply: "Single motherhood may be more acceptable to society, but it is not acceptable to children; nor is it in their best interest."
- Brave New Baby: "In our society, reproductive freedom means anyone can decide to create a life by any means with no, and I mean no, consideration of what is in the best interest of that new human being."
- Spare the Rod: "Children without discipline often become adults with tempertantrums, defiance, rage, depression, anxiety, poor school and work adjustment, drug and alcohol abuse."
Stupid Things Parents Do to Mess Up Their Kids covers all aspects of parenting and also tackles such cultural and societal concerns as abortion, modern sexuality, drug and alcohol use, violence, discipline, and a child's right to privacy.
Customer Reviews:
Hits the nail on the head.......2007-10-07
Reading this book made me so glad I made the choice I did to stay home with my kids. I have no sympathy or respect for women who are flying down the money trail while dumping their poor babies in daycare with strangers; what a long, sad, miserable day for a toddler (no matter what Mom wants to tell herself). And as far as the ever-popular "I can't afford not to work" excuse, then why did you have children if you can't afford them? My husband is in the military; we don't make much money but we would NEVER use that as an excuse to abandon our children day after day all through their fleeting and precious childhoods. This also applies to the single, never married moms who maybe should have considered getting married before getting knocked up; daycare all day AND no dad! Yippee!! Bravo to Dr. Laura for telling it like it is. Once you have that baby, it's not about YOU anymore!
R. Jordan.......2006-03-30
I LOVE Dr. Laura and although I don't have children, I bought this book for a friend of mine that does and is having some difficulty with them. She has read the book 3 times and there is definitely a noticable difference in both my friend and her children's behaviour now.
I highly recommend this book!!!
Dr. Laura and Stupid parents.......2006-03-23
Right on again, Dr. Laura! She isn't afraid of just saying it like it is! We have kids, give them to someone else to rear, and then wonder what has happened to our society? She just levels with parents in the most ACCURATE and DIRECT way. Go Dr. Laura!
Dr. Psychology is right on!!!!.......2006-01-25
Dr. Laura was right on! She is correct in saying that children without guidance and boundries have lower self-esteem and experience depression more often. She is also correct in saying that children need to be corrected- spanked. The studies that some on here proport that damage children's self-esteem do not understand how skewed the data is. Many of the so called researchers have included spanking with those who slap, punch, kick, verbally abuse, and even whip their children with metal objects and wooden paddles. For those who have taken a statistics course or research methods course know how skewed this data is. Dr. Laura is going against the grain of society and saying there is a right and wrong and that we are not animals merely here on earth to follow our instincts and live to ourselves. She calls mothers, fathers, and parents to return to a society where people care and our selfless. This book gives great insight into the feminist movement and how socity is taking a turn for the worst!!
good title but needs a real doctor for its author.......2005-12-03
First of all, I wonder how this woman received the title of doctor because it's obvious she didn't do her homework! When she advocates the use of corporal punishment by saying "Children without discipline often become adults with tempertantrums, defiance, rage, depression, anxiety, poor school and work adjustment, drug and alcohol abuse." she is implying that this will happen to children who are not hit (or spanked whatever you would like to call this form of child abuse) by their parents. Had she done any research or even looked at the research of others she would have found that the majority of children that were spanked by their parents are the ones that end up like this! So it is very clear that she needs to take a good long look at her own values on parenting before she begins criticizing other parents for refusing to deliberately cause pain to their own offspring!
Book Description
Unlike other child and adolescent development textbooks, Child and Adolescent Development for Educators by Judith Meece is written specifically for teacher education majors and for professionals in the field of education. It focuses entirely on the development of school-age children and youth, and provides deep coverage of those topics of most immediate concern to teachers such as cognitive development, social and emotional development, language development, literacy, individual differences in development, and children with special needs. Few texts provide this depth of coverage. The author is an expert in teacher education, having taught child and adolescent development to education majors for over fourteen years. Child and Adolescent Development for Educators also helps students to see how developmental research can be applied in educational settings. Each chapter discusses the implication of research for teaching, and the text includes pedagogical features focusing on teaching applications. It is the only development textbook that emphasizes applications to educational settings in this way. For the revision new material has been added throughout the text, including a completely new chapter on peers and families and the expansion of the content on personal, social and moral development into two chapters. By the end of the text, students will have a clear understanding of the important role of schools and teachers in children’s lives.
Customer Reviews:
Excellent Study Guide on Children's Psychology.......2001-04-27
I think that this book is an excellent textbook for teaching entry level college psychology courses and upper level high school courses on children's development and thinking. I really enjoyed using this textbook in one of my Elementary Education psychology courses mainly because it gives interesting theoretical views about children's thinking. This textbook has theories from well-renowned psychologists such as Piaget, Vygotsky, Jean Jacques Rousseau, John Locke, and Freud. If I had to recommend this book to someone, I would recommend that teachers, psychologists, counselors, and anyone who deals with children on a daily basis obtain a copy of this book. It is an excellent source of information for understanding children's behaviors, learning styles, and cognitive capabilities at varying stages of life.
Average customer rating:
- Puts into words and ideas moral concepts that can be difficult to explain
- If you have a problem child , you should get this book!
- The Greatest Gift Of All
- A moral education is as important as an academic one!
- It's what we need...
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Building Moral Intelligence: The Seven Essential Virtues that Teach Kids to Do the Right Thing
Michele, Ed.D. Borba
Manufacturer: Jossey-Bass
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
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Parents Do Make A Difference: How to Raise Kids with Solid Character, Strong Minds, and Caring Hearts (The Jossey-Bass Psychology Series)
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ASIN: 0787962260 |
Book Description
Gain a new understanding of moral intelligence, and a step-by-step program for its achievement from bestselling author, Michele Borba. In this indispensable book for parents, Borba has created a new break-through in conceptualizing and teaching virtue, character and values under the auspices of a measurable capacity -- Moral Intelligence. This book confronts the front-page crisis we now face in our country regarding youth violence, alienation, self-destructive behavior, cold-heartedness, lack of compassion, insensitivity, intolerance and the break down of values. The author provides a new way to understand, evaluate and inspire our kids with the seven essential virtues which comprise moral intelligence.
Customer Reviews:
Puts into words and ideas moral concepts that can be difficult to explain.......2007-05-15
I have a sixteen-year-old who is questioning all morals. I was finding it difficult to put into words the importance of morals. I bought this book for her to read. She isn't reading it, but I am and I'm finding it very helpful in facilitating discussions with her. At dinner time I bring up one of the seven moral virtues and ideas that the book presents. I've found that it leads to great conversations with her about character and moral behaviors. It has given me the words for concepts that can be difficult to convey in our current morally challenging times. I recommend buying this book when your children are young and referencing it often.
If you have a problem child , you should get this book!.......2006-03-16
Truthfully speaking i was so desperate to change my son's attitude and behaviour towards his friends and towards life.
I am a full time mother and i had done all i can think of to make my son understand more about life, etiquette, morality, character and how to make friends and be a friend.
This book has brought the truth to me.
It makes me really look at my own life first and foremost , how i deal with people, how i treat others,etc...
My action speaks louder than my words.
I grew up surrounded by priviledge and i take alot of things for granted. I just don't realise that my son whom i love very much is looking at me every second with open eyes and ears!!
This book does not only help me change my son's character, but this book also shows me how to be a better mother, a living example for my children to follow.
The Greatest Gift Of All.......2003-02-23
Very useful prescription to put kids on. It is what's missing in America today. To those who really love their family and our country, be sure to read Building Moral Intelligence by Michele Borba, and also, West Point: Character Leadership Education.. by Norman Thomas Remick.
A moral education is as important as an academic one!.......2002-02-23
"Building Moral Intelligence" by Dr. Michele Borba is a book that every parent should read and own. In a world where there are so many negative influences on the internet, in the media, T.V. shows, magazines etc. many parents do not even realize the amount of immoral influences that our children are witnessing every single day. As parents, it is up to us to teach our children the importance of good character. We need to teach them about the seven essential virtues as Dr. Borba explains in her book!
I realize that I'm digressing from a review, but I want to say this. Our world and our lives have changed recently, but the one thing that remains the same is that our children are the future. And as Theodore Roosevelt said "To Educate a Person in Mind and not in morals is to educate a menace to society" This book will not only help you raise good kids, it will open any readers eyes and hearts, inspiring them to build their moral intelligence as well. We must teach by example...this book will help you do that! If you want your kids to do the right thing, then this book is for you!
It's what we need..........2001-12-25
At a time when confusion seems to reign, Michele Borba's book is a ressuring tool that helps to keep our family grounded. I refer to it often and my husband and I use it as a conversation builder with our four children. This book was recommended to me by a fellow physician, and I have chosen to give copies of this book as gifts. Whether a new parent or a seasoned one, this book should be in every family's home.
Average customer rating:
- Another point of view
- Glad I read this book before medicating my son
- Excellent suggestions for managing ADHD
- The premise is wrong, but it still may be valuable
- Concerned
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The Myth of the A.D.D Child:50 Ways to Improve Your Child's Behavior and Attention Span Without Drugs, Labels, or Coercion
Thomas Armstrong
Manufacturer: Plume
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Customer Reviews:
Another point of view.......2007-10-10
Is a very helpful way to deal with "ADD". I agree with the author that there are several ways for us to learn and experiment our world.
Glad I read this book before medicating my son.......2007-03-27
After being told by my son's second grade teacher that she thought my son had ADD, my husband and I took him to three different professionals. The first two wanted to medicate him. The third tested him and gave us this book to read. It turned out that our son had many allergies to both foods and environmental items. He also was above average intelligence and was bored with his classwork. We bought a computer and got him learning software. We also signed him up for piano lessons and had him read many books. We took care of his allergies through diet and shots. He is now a high school sophomore who is in all honors classes. He is planning on going to school to become a surgeon. Please take the time to investigate all your options before going straight to the Ritalin. Some children will still need the medication but use that as your last resort. Another good book to read is "Is This Your Child?" by Dr. Doris Rapp. She discusses the allergy aspect to behavior problems.
Excellent suggestions for managing ADHD.......2007-02-01
I'm amazed at the negative reviews on this book. Apparently when a psychologist has the gall to suggest we should stop drugging our children, it causes an uproar.
Whether you chose to medicate your ADHD child or not, there is a wealth of information here. And it goes beyond the obvious of "limit TV." The 50 suggestions are a quick read, and they not only introduce things that might work, they explain WHY they work.
I especially liked his discussions on why ADHD kids are so kinetic and how they are haptic (hands-on) learners. Also, he explains why ADHD kids benefit from full inclusion in a regular classroom. And he introduced a concept I hadn't considered before, that ADHD kids might not get distracted from overstimulation, but from understimulation (i.e. they act out from boredom).
It's obvious Armstrong has learned a lot from his years of working with these kids. Reading this book and trying his suggestions has made us a beneficiary of that knowledge.
I've read many books on this subject, and I consider this to be one of the most useful. I recommend it to any parent raising a child with an ADHD/ADD diagnosis...whether or not your child is on meds.
The premise is wrong, but it still may be valuable.......2007-01-22
There's a reason why I gave this book 3 stars, and it's because there are indeed other problems that share SOME of the symptoms of ADHD. And it's absolutely true that if you take Adderall, for instance, and you don't truly have ADHD, you can get into trouble you may never be able to get out of again. It's not necessarily a bad idea to read books like this. BUT... and it's a big but...
All you have to do is take ONE dose of a psychostimulant, and you will KNOW if you really have ADHD or not!! This isn't rocket science. It's EASY if you know what you're looking for. Let's look at Adderall, for instance. Virtually everyone who takes it will feel good. That's not what you're trying to figure out. You will feel only one of two possible ways. Either you'll be speedy high, rather manic, and unable to sleep for three days... and that's the NORMAL reaction... or you'll be relaxed, calm, and thinking seriously about a nice nap. (That was me.) This is how you know!! These meds are indeed addictive and dangerous for people with normal brains, but they are very safe for us ADHD folks. They've been around for one hundred and twenty years. They're not "new" or "untested" or "controversial." As a matter of fact, they are the only psychiatric medication that originally came from traditional Chinese medicine, which has been around for more like five thousand years. (Amphetamines were synthesized from ephedra.)
In addiion, the AMA and APA and all medical or psychiatric associations of EVERY kind accept the ADHD diagnosis. The basic ingredient in Adderall has been prescribed for seventy years, and the ingredients in Ritalin for thirty. There's a lot that still isn't known about ADHD; I, for one, think it is a much more comprehensive disorder of personality that anyone realizes, especially in adults. But saying ADHD doesn't exist is in the same category as young-earth creationism. No thinking person has any obligation to respect that kind of assertion.
To sum up, correct diagnosis and medication saved my mind, my sanity, and my life.I have tried every natural remedy, elimination diet, supplement, herb, fast, cleansing regimen, therapy, and exercise there is to help ADHD. Many of them help. They really do. But they work as SUPPORTS to the right medication. I would REALLY like to see this author live with my ADHD without it. I guarantee that he would get off the high horse VERY fast. So apart from the fact that yes, you really do have to be sure you or your child have/has ADHD before you take the meds, this book deserves a rating more like a hundred negative stars.
Concerned .......2006-09-12
If you suspect you or your child has ADHD ("A.D.D." is not the correct acronym), please look elsewhere for treatment and practical strategies. Any ADHD intervention book worth its salt includes a variety of approaches to treatment. If you want to avoid medication, there are plenty of options - this book is nothing novel. However, medication does work best for many children and adults and the benefits definitely outweigh the "costs" (which are relatively minor - these medications are considered quite safe). Stimulant medications do not "change" children's personalities or "break" their spirits - they help them improve their ability to function academically, emotionally, and socially. Why wouldn't you want these things for your child? Please talk to a physician or psychologist and ask for book recommendations. This book is a waste of time!
Customer Reviews:
Makes You Think About the Kind of Kids You Want.......2007-07-23
I've read a lot of parenting books, and this one stands out.
Yes, it is written from a Christian perspective, and if you are not of the Christian faith you might not like the tone of the book, however I do think that if one was not anti-Christian, but does agree that children today are too disrespectful, that you would find beneficial information.
The difference between self-esteem and self-respect (as long with the dangers of false praise) was an eye-opening section and worth the price of the book in itself.
The Reality Check questions at the end of each chapter help you assess your strengths and weaknesses in each area and offers more of a challenge to correct some things that you might have let slip. What I liked about this book is that the author challenges parents to decide what is important to you. I think that it was done without judgment. If you think certain behaviors are desirable or undesirable, Ms. Rigby helps you address them.
There is a great reference list of suggested reading for parents at the end of the book as well.
Some good ideas, but based too much on Christianity.......2007-07-20
I agree with the ideas presented by Jill Rigby. However, her presentation lost impact with me because so much of her advice was based on what should happen in a "God loving Christian home". Being of mixed faith myself, and working to teach my child to love all people regardless of belief (or non-belief) I would like to have had the ideas presented on more of a non-theist basis. You can teach respect without invoking God to do it...my child is considered very respectful, tolerant and loving and he's never set foot in a church.
Mother of 3-grandmother of 6.......2007-06-01
I gave this book to my three sons (and their wives) for Mother's Day--they all are good parents, but I felt the information in this book was worth reading and re-reading--thanks.
Disrespectful reviewers.......2007-05-25
Some of the reviewers you will see here appear to be more concerned with telling the author how she should have written the book than rating its content. These reviewers typify the kinds of people who make up this selfish, self centered, and disrespectful world in which we live.
Over 70% of the people who viewed this web page describing the book purchased it. It gets an overwhelmingly positive rating by those who have read it for its content. My belief is that Ms. Rigby has helped me understand how our children are unhappy in this world, it's very apparent too. Just go to the "mall" some weekend; you will see the rotting demoralization of our youth. She clearly points out the reasons and suggests methods to help our children.
Since I have read this book and put into practice her suggestions - I have a happy and respectful child. It did not happen overnight, nor does she claim the methods will instantly change your child; it takes work, love, and patience.
What this book has taught me is how we should all treat each other; the golden rule - to treat others as you want to be treated. Disrespect at any level should not be tolerated and it all starts with you, yes you.
I'm buying copies for my friends with whom I've discussed this book. By the way, some are Jewish and one is Buddhist. They can't wait to get their hands on it and start practicing the methods that have been successful no matter the religion.
Love and tolerance should be our code. It should be our children's code. With God's help it will. Great Book.
Lots of Good Insight.......2007-01-12
There's too much discussion about God for my personal taste, but you can invent your own creative sense of spirituality to put these insights into a productive approach. I liked much of what I read, and overall, there are some nuggets to be mined here. Worth a read.
Amazon.com
Since its publication in 1954, Dorothy Law Nolte's inspirational and educational poem, Children Learn What They Live has been published worldwide, translated into 10 languages, taught in parenting and teaching courses, distributed in doctors offices, and printed on posters and calendars. In Children Learn What They Live: Parenting to Inspire Values, authors Nolte, a teacher and lecturer on family life, and Rachel Harris, Nolte's friend and teaching associate, have taken the classic poem and fleshed it into a small gem of a book. The expanded version maintains the grace and wisdom of the original, yet adds significant insight into the process of encouraging values through example. "If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn," begins the poem (and the book), and so Nolte and Harris suggest effective ways to avoid or prevent constant criticism. As a set of guiding principals, as teaching tools, or as gentle reminders, Nolte and Harris's approach to teaching values to children encapsulates the best in parenting wisdom. --Ericka Lutz
Book Description
Dorothy Law Nolte, a lifelong teacher and lecturer on family dynamics, presents a simple but powerful guide to parenting the old-fashioned way: instilling values through example. Dr. Nolte-s inspirationó?Children Learn What They Live,O the celebrated poem she wrote in 1954. Written with psychotherapist Rachel Harris, each of the 19 couplets of the poem is developed into a chapteróon jealousy, shame, praise, recognition, honesty, fairness, tolerance, and more. Positive, realistic, filled with a rare common sense, it is a book to help parents find their own parenting wisdom, and to raise children with a surer, steadier, more understanding hand.
Customer Reviews:
They Really do!!.......2007-01-12
It's up to us to teach by example.... who knew? Please read if you have kids. An easy read, not novel-ish, more article-ish. Very nice book.
Wonderfully insightful.......2006-07-26
This one is a keeper. I find it inspiring and insightful ~~ and not condemning ~~ just helpful. It is encouraging and wonderfully short so if you're busy and don't have a lot of time to read it, it's perfect for you. It is also a book that you can keep in your library as your kids grow older and then pass it onto them when they start raising their own children.
Parenting isn't easy and sometimes, these parenting books can be overwhelming and can make the reader feel inadequate because there are times when nothing works. This book is a gentle reminder that we aren't alone in our struggles and yes, our behavior does teach our children the things to do or not to do. However, this book also give you insights on what your child might be thinking or feeling and sometimes, offer you practical solutions for your child to put to practice. Life isn't perfect but having stability in the family life is very important as well as parents who try to model thoughtfulness and sincerity in everything they do.
It is a little book but it sure packs a lot of thoughtful insights. I wish I had this book when the boys were in their terrible threes. But now that I have it, I plan to cherish it for as long as I need it and pass it onto their children.
7-25-06
Children Live What They Learn.......2006-03-07
I bought this for my niece who is pregnant. It's a wonderful book and should remind anyone who reads it that they have to teach by example.
For Every Parent !!!!.......2005-06-21
I discovered Nolte's parenting books from a glowing review in the Orlando Sentinel. I'd always loved her poem that evolved into these books. Whenever I see a parent ridiculing a child or shaming them, I wish they knew the poem.
Hopefully these books will reach a whole new generation of parents and help them become better role models for their children.
"If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence." This book will make a great baby shower present (wrapped in with a rattle or other item).
common sense but nice refresher .......2005-04-14
Chapters based on different parts of familiar poem. Most of the content is common sense but the examples given make the book interesting and ones to file to memory.
Book Description
Selected by Publishers Weekly as one of the Best Books of 1999, The Good Son is the definitive guide to the moral and emotional development of our boys and young men. Within its pages, Michael Gurian widely credited as the founder of today's "boys movement" takes readers through a complete parenting program, showing how to instill virtues in boys at each stage of life.
For parents and teachers who fear that our child-rearing systems have lost much of their ethical underpinnings and that our boys are becoming emotionally closed-off, The Good Son serves as a welcome guidepost. It is one of today's premier books on parenting and male development.
"Gurian is becoming the boys' Dr. Spock."-Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
"Lays out a well-organized blueprint for ushering boys into manhood.... Outstanding." -Publishers Weekly (starred review)
"One of the most provocative new books." -USA Today
Download Description
In his eagerly awaited new book, therapist and educator Michael Gurian presents the definitive guide to the moral development of our boys and young men. He takes readers through a complete parenting program, showing them how to instill virtues in boys at each of the three stages of life: The Age of Obedience (birth to six); The Age of Convention (seven to twelve); and The Age of Moral Intuition (thirteen to eighteen). The Good Son also addresses "moral emergency" questions on how to cope with stealing, violence, and other forms of severe misbehavior. In addition, Gurian furnishes a list of the fifty top books and films that will help stimulate moral growth in boys and young men. For parents and teachers who fear that our society has lost much of its moral and ethical underpinnings, The Good Son serves as a welcome guidepost. It is destined to become one of the premier books on parenting and moral life.
Customer Reviews:
Excellent!!!.......2007-01-26
This is one of the best, no-nonsense books on raising a son on the market today. I should know--I've tried alot of them! It's easy to read, thoughful and insightful.
A manual on how to raise boys.......2006-11-04
This book helped me understand better how boys change during their life from early childhood to young adulthood. I looked back at how my own boys have developed and I discovered many things I was blissfully unware. I found also many useful educational tools in the book.
Michael Gurian has a very clear writing, sometimes he repeats himself, but with a good reason: one will revisit the book as the boy grows older to read sections that have a precise target. This is like a user manual on how to raise boys of any age.
The book is divided in four parts: overview of boys in comparison with girls from the point of view of psychology and neurobiology, early childhood (Age of Obedience), middle childhood (Age of Convention) and teenage years (Age of Intuition). The first part is mandatory reading, in my view. It does an excellent job at explaining why boys are different. You learn about brain structure, hormones and what they actually mean in terms of behaviour outcomes and education method. The other parts can be read when needed, although you should read the book entirely at least once, even if you boy is not in the age bracket discussed by a particular part.
The curious thing about the book is that it seems like an easy read, sometimes even dry, but the concepts are profound. I see clearly now where I made mistakes, not because of particular mishaps but because my errors in principle. Being a good parent, especially a good father, is much more than working hard long hours for the sake of family wealth. This is where the book is best and I am so glad I bought it. It has a well designed structure that maps our life cycle in the context of family, traditions, education with support from recent scientific research in sociology, psychology and neurobiology.
I liked how the main parts are sub-divided. The book has a rythm, a methodical approach so that you can see how the child evolves and how outcomes are created in the process. The subdivisions are: developmental milestones, discipline techniques, moral teaching and a healthy moral and emotional environment. The language is simple but powerful because the content has value and it is very concrete.
The author discusses how to handle issues like respect, language, rules, rituals, backtalk, chores, allowance, sex and drugs. I appreciated the fact that the book does not have empty, positive talk, but focuses a lot on identifying facts, issues and how to handle situations in a way that suits your background (father, mother, single parent, tutor).
This is the kind of book that makes it easy for you to want to come back and read it again, because when you need it, you will know precisely where to look and what to look for.
Excellent Guide Book for Raising Sons!.......2004-08-04
Michael Gurian gently takes us through the stages of development in boys as he sees them and has a knack for challenging us and at the same time feel more comfortable with the process. As a father of a severely autistic boy and a typical boy, I can use tips in this book to help Ryan understand his special brother and help him feel less alienated and closer to his family.
"Publisher's Weekly" got it right when they called this book "the definitive guide to the moral and emotional development of our boys and young men."
WELL DONE MICHAEL GURIAN!!!
Long Overdue Focus on Raising Young Men.......2002-10-19
"The Good Son" by Michael Gurian (a therapist and educator) is a book for parents designed with the intention of helping them raise a morally grounded son. Subtitled "Shaping the Moral Development of Our Boys and Young Men", I felt Mr. Gurian did a great job by dividing up the chapters into specific age groups (infant, toddler, teen, etc.). I am not inclined to read these types of books (self-help, how-to), but with heavy pressure from my fellow parents and their strong recommendations I'm sure glad I did. We are presented with the physical, emotional, and psychological growth that we can expect and how this will effect the behavior of our boy(s). The book is crammed with excellent examples - some quite inspiring - from Mr. Wolfe's practice as well as practical guides to discipline, "rules to live by", and the "range of normal". Despite the subtitle the book is not moralistic or preachy, but rather focuses on helping parents instill their own belief system into their child. In our politically correct world, I particularly enjoyed the explanations of the differences between boys and girls and how they interpret the world around them (they're different! Who knew?) Throughout the book, medical research is presented (some well known and some fairly recent) to back up his ideas. In our politically correct and gender neutral idealized society it is refreshing to hear someone unafraid to speak the obvious. Ultimately, the information is neither bound to dry medical text nor religious ideology, but rather, a very readable and fun resource for parents.
Easy reading.......2001-01-20
This book is suggested to anyone who has to raise a son in todays world. I have bought this book for 2 women raising boys. It has open a new world for me-the understanding of why my boy is the way he is. The author suggest structure and rules will help your young boy blossom into a confident young man. Ever chapter he touches on "the Range of Normal" which you can apply to your child at his age level.
Book Description
52 playful and easy to understand activites to hhelp parents teach children moral lessons that they won't forget
A child says, "I hear and I forget, I see and I remember, I do and I understand." 10-Minute Life Lessons for Kids is a book about seeing and doing--a book that gives parents the ability to teach the powerful principles of honesty, trust, generosity, love, and other values. Children will discover the objectives themselves as they actively participate in fun games and activities.
The games can be done in any order, with very little planning and with very few supplies--just common objects most people have around the house like toothpicks, string, pennies, or an apple. Some can be done while riding in the car, and others can be expanded to fill a whole evening with family fun. The activities in 10-Minute Life Lessons for Kids will not only create cozy and enjoyable moments of family togetherness, they will have a lasting impact on your growing child.
Customer Reviews:
Great Choice for Teaching Kids Values!!.......2007-05-29
I love this book, it is easy to follow and has fun entertaining was to teach kids values.
For parents, not educators.......2007-04-25
I was hoping this book would be a useful resource for developing supplemental activities for an elementary-level (K-5) curriculum on non-violence and conflict resolution. But it is really geared toward parents (as the title indicates), not educators. The activities and required materials are suitable for an interpersonal setting, not really for the average classroom or after school programs. I found that 104 Activities That Build: Self-Esteem, Teamwork, Communication, Anger Management, Self-Discovery, Coping Skills by Alanna Jones, was more useful for my needs/goals.
It was great.......2006-11-16
It was very helpful and the activities were really only 10 minues long, at max.
Good Topic Selection.......2006-11-10
There are quite a few important topics to choose from. Seems to start good conversation with the children. (Ages 9-13)
Ten minutes that could affect a lifetime!.......2006-03-29
This is an interesting and useful book. It provides a wide range of activities to use with children to help them learn about themselves and understanding others. Many of the activities offer ways to accommodate for older or younger audiences, and some are specific to ages. The range of topics addressed is rather inclusive, and the activities are designed to appeal to all types of learners (visual, auditory, kinesthetic). The activities offer a creative approach to each topic, and are nice springboards for deeper discussions. I am certain this book will be utilized both in my home and in my classroom!
Customer Reviews:
Excellent anecdotes, but poor data.......2002-11-28
In The Moral Intelligence of Children, Robert Coles outlines his considerable experience with the moral thinking of children. He finds that even the very young can reason using sophisticated moral logic, and makes numerous recommendations for how parents might try to raise a virtuous child. Sadly, I cannot recommend this book to a wide audience, as its fundamental assumptions have not been borne out by modern research.
Coles argues that children learn what moral behavior is through observation and immersion. In this regard he is similar to the Russian psychologist Vygotsky. Unfortunately, a great deal of research since Vygotsky's death causes me to doubt Coles' claims. Some of the evidence against this claim is found in W. Rottschaefer's Biology and Psychology of Moral Agency. In particular, infants as young as a few weeks display empathic behaviors, and this tendency grows immensely over the first year. It is hard to imagine how a child's moral sophistication is related to the observation of parents when their empathic behavior develops at such a young age, faced with no moral problems of their own.
Additional evidence comes from Jonathan Haidt's social institutionist model of moral reasoning. Haidt feels that morality does develop from a social context, but demonstrates that the "reasons" offered by adults and children, however cute or sophisticated, are little more than rationalizations for deeper emotions inherited from earlier development.
Finally, even if kids did learn from their parents, as soon as the child steps out of the home his reasoning will be shaped by his peers, not by his parents. To date, there is no compelling evidence that parents have a significant impact on the morality or personality of their kids beyond their genetic contribution. Judith Harris utterly crushed that area of research in her book, The Nurture Assumption.
Coles' book is full of interesting stories in a fairly warm and talkative style. If you're as fascinated by children and their stories about themselves and each other as I am, you'll enjoy this book. Just don't take it too seriously as a manual for raising your child.
WHERE WAS THE EDITOR?.......2001-05-21
That Robert Coles' heart is in the right place and that his experience working with children is extensive, no one can dispute. But his writing is characterized by wordiness - even chattiness - and it undermines the serious nature of his topic. Perhaps the loose writing style is an attempt to make the book appeal to "every parent," - and not just educators - but instead it renders the whole work laborious and permeated with a condescending, patronizing tone. In the current political culture, a book on the moral life of children written by an educator of Coles' calibre would be expected to nail a spot on the N.Y. Times bestseller list for weeks, if not years. The fact that less than two years after publication I picked up a hard cover copy at a book clearance for 75% off is a testimony to lazy editorship more than anything else. What a huge loss for our society.
The moral intelligence of children.......1999-12-11
It is evident that Robert Coles has an immense amount of insight on the psychology of young children. His work in this book extends to young children of all ages. He doesn't waste time spilling disheartening statistics that scares the reader. Coles discusses the issues and concerns of young children that help link their moral intelligence to moral life. His background in children psychology is deep and experienced, using ideas and shared beliefs with other professional masterminds of children psychology. Children believe that they are the world and everything revolves around them. Robert Coles dissects the moral intelligence by sharing his personal experience and observations with children of all ages. It is clear that Coles has a deep passion in his work. His feelings for the children he has worked with go beyond than just an observer. As Coles explains, moral intelligence derives from the surroundings that children observe. He seems to provide a solution to all aspects of child psyche. He covers angles in which parents and teachers can handle certain situations. Coles uses this book to fill the voids that children need. The moral intelligence is created by the child, but can be molded by proper guidance. Although children create personal shield around themselves, Coles offers a solution to the guidance that is vital to the development of the child. This book is a great tool to help teachers and parents how to adjust to the child who suddenly is becoming distant to moral reasoning. Coles perspectives are eye-opening and brilliant. Behaviors you would normally avoid and consider abnormal can be catered to by the help of this book. It just makes you want to serve and protect young
Practical advice for parents and teachers, well written.......1999-05-08
Moral Intelligence one of numerous books Robert Coles has written is in a way in a culmination of the years he has spent working with children in families. It is a topic that has intrigued him since he was a student of psychology, and has continued to play a role in his life. He offers many personal insights and examples from his own life-showing that even a expert psychologist can learn from his own children-the rest of us should be equally humble!
Moral intelligence is the theory put forth by Dr. Coles, that children learn some of the most important lessons by observing the behaviors of those around them in authority positions (mainly parents and teachers). His theory goes beyond the teaching of moral lessons such as "you shouldn't steal, or lie" and reaches a deeper level of analysis. He theorizes that children pick up and retain information about moral behavior from witnessing the actions of others. He defines moral intelligence as the actions of one that effect the behavior of another. He feels that this manner of learning has a more lasting impact on children.
Dr. Coles states that he has been interested in moral intelligence much of his life. This topic is something he feels truly passionate about and it shows in this work and in this book. Critics may dismiss this work as simple common sense but it goes well beyond that, and cannot be summed up so easily. While the advice he offers may seem elementary-it is not being followed by many parents and bears repeating. He writes from both his heart and his mind and provides necessary reassurance and guidance for parents and teachers who may be struggling with the decisions and choices they must make each and every day. His book is unique in that it is a resource for parents, teachers and academics.
The book is an enjoyable read no matter what your purpose. He provides a glimpse into his own life so we can all see that no one is above being taught. He states that he has learned some of the most important lessons from his own son. If he can learn, so can we. He offers advice that everyone should be able to follow.
Books:
- Philosophy for Kids : 40 Fun Questions That Help You Wonder ... About Everything!
- Playful Parenting
- Positive Coaching: Building Character and Self-Esteem
- Problem Solving for Oil Painters: Recognizing What's Gone Wrong and How to Make It Right
- Purple Hibiscus: A Novel
- Raising Your Spirited Child Workbook
- Rich Dad's Advisors: How to Attract Other People's Money for Your Investments--The Ultimate Leverage
- Rich Dad, Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach Their Kids About Money--That the Poor and Middle Class Do Not!
- Shopaholic & Baby (Shopaholic)
- Simply Natural Baby Food: Easy Recipes for Delicious Meals Your Infant and Toddler Will Love
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