Book Description
This is an outstanding resource and covers more essential topics than any other.
Customer Reviews:
Not all that........2007-01-28
Well, another hyped up child custody/divorce manual that has been drastically over-rated by a few readers. What caused me to give this book at three star? Well it does have plenty of content. Kind of like when you go to a book store or library. How many of the books in there are you going to want to read? Maybe ten percent of them at best. Well this book will probably have ten percent of which may be possible to use in your court cases, and actually have it become applicable and useful to the reader. Another big problem I had with it was that the suggestions and information that the book was advising were too vague for it's readers,especially those involved in a custody battle. So many things in the book were way too generalized for the reader to be able to know how to precisely use them as effective tools. In essence, kind of when you read a horoscope, it's way too generalized to even know how and what makes this work. Also the book had the usual bias slant and actually gave much more advice to women going through child custody problems than it did fathers. The book seemed to focus more on how to legally screw over the father more by the mother than visa versa. Another drawback to the book is that it is very disorganized. There is really no order to it. It would of helpful if perhaps there were a chronological order to the advice using topics and subtopics relating to how events usually occur in pre/during/post divorce. It basically is a mumble-jumble and conglomeration of patches that were inserted while editing the book that say a lot, but say nothing useful. Authority and precedence is what is needed to be established in a family court. That is what a judge wants. The court cases that are mentioned in the book are relevant to the issue being referenced therein, but rarely apply to a lot of the situations that a father is going through. There are requirements that have to be meet while using a past court case that was established as precedence to be used. The only way to get applicable court cases for precedence is to use state family law books that are found at a law library. This book would be okay for a "quick read" at a bookstore.
Good resource.......2007-01-18
This was a good resource for someone going through custody battles. I would recommend it to anyone, but would also mention the fact that there were more misspelled words, typos, major lack of editing issues than any other book I've ever read. WOW. But, the content makes up for this gross neglect. Still, for the price I paid for this book, I did expect better from the editing...
10 Star Resource.......2006-12-13
Someone gave me a 1994 edition of this book at the start of my divorce and custody dispute. It was a better resource book than anything else at the Baker & Taylor Bookstore. When I found the 11th edition it was double the price of the 3rd edition and quadrupel the information. I am so greatful for the new book and it is again better than anything else available, even on Amazon. I read it for the information and because it is interesting. I appreciate seeing examples of reports and studies before I have to face them myself. Win Your Child Custody War, also helps me keep a healthy prespective on what is going on in my life because I can see what others have dealt with. I have used the letters and examples and they really made a positive difference. A great living, breathing piece of work and an outstanding reference!
Great information, Easy to read, Well organized.......2006-04-28
Remarkable. Because each case is so different it would be useless to present this information in any other form.
5 star easy! Highly recommended for its priceless content!.......2006-03-31
I wish someone would have recommended this book at the start of my divorce and custody dispute. This book is by far the best resource book for custody disputes and surviving a divorce. At first glance one would think that it is a bit expensive. However, once you receive it you will be thankful that you did. You could combine numerous other books in this genre and they would not compare to this single book. This book goes in depth without losing the reader. You will find yourself referencing it throughout your divorce and/or custody dispute. Chapters include: 1) Strategies to win custody 2)False Allegations 3)Evidence documentation 4)Grandparents 5)Hiring a detective 6)Rights during visitation 7)Parental Alienation Syndrome 8) Conflict resolution 9)DNA Testing 10)Case Law and so much more! 640 plus pages. An incredible resource worth every penny! Robert Pedersen founder of www.fatherachildsright.org
Book Description
Award-winning writer Kim EdwardsÂ's The Memory KeeperÂ's Daughter is a brilliantly crafted family drama that explores every motherÂ's silent fear: what would happen if you lost your child and she grew up without you?
On a winter night in 1964, Dr. David Henry is forced by a blizzard to deliver his own twins. His son, born first, is perfectly healthy. Yet when his daughter is born, he sees immediately that she has DownÂ's syndrome. Rationalizing it as a need to protect Norah, his wife, he makes a split second decision that will alter all of their lives forever. He asks his nurse to take the baby away to an institution and never to reveal the secret. But Caroline, the nurse, cannot leave the infant. Instead, she disappears into another city to raise the child herself. So begins this beautifully told story that unfolds over a quarter of a century in which these two families, ignorant of each other, are yet bound by David HenryÂ's fateful decision that long-ago winter night.
A rich and deeply moving page-turner, The Memory KeeperÂ's Daughter captures the way life takes unexpected turns and how the mysterious ties that hold a family together help us survive the heartache that occurs when long-buried secrets burst into the open. It is an astonishing tale of redemptive love.
Customer Reviews:
Some like it, some hate it... I'm one of the likers.......2007-10-16
I finished 'The Memory Keeper's Daughter last night' - I am emotionally drained! Such a good read! Many here have commented they found it repetitive and trite. I found that what some claim to be repetitive-ness was actually necessary, to help you realize how constant this 'loss' and 'gain' of a single life impacted so many other people's lives, whether the characters themselves realize it at the time or not.
Also I enjoyed the fact that the ending wasn't a typical 'all loose ends are tied' sort. A major character dies, new and old relationships are changed. While it's not a "happily ever after" ending, it does end on a note of hope and what the future can hold in store for the characters.
This story isn't simply about what happens when you skip a stone across the glass-like surface of a lake. It's about how each individual skip shatters the surface and alters it, blurrs it again and changes it again as the stone moves away from its original introduction to the water.
The story was so quietly poignant and touching - the changing societal and cultural mores of the times is addressed in an almost shockingly flippant matter-of-fact tone - which I think works to slap the reader even more awake as to how just one decision made in one moment begins a series of impacts in numerous lives, for better AND for worse.
While most readers are probably already aware of several of the societal changes in the novel because the changes came before or during our own coming of age, but it was almost painful to me at times to read about what was considered "acceptable" at that time. I stopped counting how many times I got teary-eyed during the passages involving a parent and their well-intentioned deceits to protect their family. I almost dropped the book when a nurse asked Caroline if she was "sure" that she wanted a doctor to address Phoebe's near-fatal bee-sting!
And David's actions are so wrong and yet so right, due to his own past - I love it when it's not 100% simple to empathize with the main character of a book.
This novel also brought some things I discussed at a recent dinner with my girlfriends into focus as well as making me realize why our parents and the older generations do what they do and why - so much of it goes back to what was acceptable and "proper" back in the "old days" when they were our age or younger - it's very hard to change or go against decades of particular thinking that was reinforced by everyone around you.
It's no wonder that divorce, drug/alcohol/physical abuse, therapy/counseling and birth defects *were* treated as such "scandalous" stigmas - thank God that's mostly past-tense this days!
Could've used a little editing.......2007-10-14
The Memory Keeper's Daughter is based on a reasonable premise: the loss of a child and a husband's lie result in lifelong anger and damage to the marriage. This story could have been a good one if it had been tightened up. A Lot. About two thirds of the way through the book, David takes off to his abandoned childhood home, befriends and supports a pregnant teenager, and gives up his life's passion (photography). This is where the story falls apart and the characters become flat. They start to say inane things in order to move the plot along so the book can come to an end. It seems as if Edwards' editor must have gone on vacation and left the author to throw in every humdrum event she could think of.
contrived.......2007-10-13
The real question is: so many people recommended this book -- did I miss something? The plot is contrived; the characters are made from cardboard; and it reads like a 2nd rate romance novel.
New characters and plot elements are introduced with the finesse of a child forcing puzzle pieces together that don't quite fit; the author used a hammer to knock them in place.
Your time is valuable; skip this book.
Compelling book.......2007-10-11
I really enjoyed this book, though I found it hard to truly "like" all the characters. Still, it's an interesting story and keeps you turning the pages.
Really wanted to love this book but didn't even like it..........2007-10-09
I really wanted to love this book....after all, its a National Bestseller, on multiple critic's "must-read" list, on my Amazon recommendations list every time I check, and I have had more than a few people recommend it to me. Also, after reading the first thirty pages or so, I was riveted - such a unique and interesting plot....I though the rest of the book would be sensational. However, not only was I wrong and beyond disappointed, but I just can't understand the hype surrounding this book!
Once the plot is set-up within the first thirty pages or so, the book utterly failed to deliver and just tanked. The writing is boring, trite and the entire middle of the book is way too repetitive. Each paragraph I read felt like I had read it before...saying the same thing ten different times/ways does not make a book interesting. In fact, I had a hard time forcing myself to keep reading, but kept thinking about the fact that so many people liked this book so figured maybe the ending would somehow redeem it. It didn't. The book went downhill fast and never recovered, not even at the end. I DO NOT recommend this book at all!
Average customer rating:
- Unnecessary for divorced parents who already get along
- Seems biased toward the mother
- Mom's House, Dad's House
- Excellent resource for some, maybe not for others
- Susan Ashley, Ph.D. Author of The ADD and ADHD Answer Book
|
Mom's House, Dad's House: Making Two Homes for Your Child
Isolina Ricci
Manufacturer: Fireside Books
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
 Couples & Family Therapy
| Counseling
| Psychology & Counseling
| Health, Mind & Body
| Subjects
| Books
General
| Psychology & Counseling
| Health, Mind & Body
| Subjects
| Books
Social Psychology & Interactions
| Psychology & Counseling
| Health, Mind & Body
| Subjects
| Books
General
| Social Sciences
| Nonfiction
| Subjects
| Books
Marriage & Family
| Sociology
| Social Sciences
| Nonfiction
| Subjects
| Books
Culture
| Sociology
| Social Sciences
| Nonfiction
| Subjects
| Books
Divorce
| Family Relationships
| Parenting & Families
| Subjects
| Books
General
| Family Relationships
| Parenting & Families
| Subjects
| Books
General
| Parenting
| Parenting & Families
| Subjects
| Books
General
| Parenting & Families
| Subjects
| Books
Family & General Practice
| Specialties
| Medicine
| Subjects
| Books
Family Practice
| Internal Medicine
| Medicine
| Medical
| Professional & Technical
| Subjects
| Books
Similar Items:
-
Two Homes
-
Mom's House, Dad's House for Kids: Feeling at Home in One Home or Two
-
Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way
-
It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear: A Read-Together Book for Parents and Young Children During Divorce (Lansky, Vicki)
-
Dinosaurs Divorce
Accessories:
-
Health o Meter HDC100-01 "Grow with Me" Teddy Bear Scale for Babies and Toddlers
-
Braun IRT 4020 ThermoScan Ear Thermometer
ASIN: 0684830787 |
Amazon.com
According to the Stepfamily Association of America, 60 percent of all families are breaking up, and custody and visitation issues loom large in the lives of many parents. Isolina Ricci's Mom's House, Dad's House guides separated, divorced, and remarried parents through the hassles and confusions of setting up a strong, working relationship with the ex-spouse in order to make two loving homes for the kids. This expanded and revised edition (the book was originally published in 1980) includes emotional and legal tools, as well as many reference materials and resources. As one parent said of the first edition, "This book is my friend."
Customer Reviews:
Unnecessary for divorced parents who already get along.......2007-05-31
My five-year-old daughter's dad and I have joint custody and joint placement. Therefore, my daughter travels between our houses (about 8 blocks apart) every few days. I was hoping this book would help her dad and I make the most of our daughter's situation, but it seems to focus on parents who do not get along. Perhaps, because my daughter does not remember ever having two parents in the same home, this book isn't as relevant to her as it may be for some. The book seemed to focus on picking up the pieces, rather than just growing as a nontraditional family. I will say one positive thing: the book stresses avoiding the use of "ex husband" and "ex wife" and replacing with "my daughter's dad". I feel that makes for a better situation.
Seems biased toward the mother.......2007-05-06
I realize that I have only read a couple chapters so far, but I see an extreme bias that paints the father as the parent that only gets visitation rights and has no interest in his children. This is just my opinion, but every story in the beginning of the book came across this way to me.
Hopefully further reading will offer some advice to something similar to my situation - a father that has custody of his daughters after his ex decided that she was gay after a happy 14 year marriage and asked for a divorce. Times have changed, it isn't always the mother that has primary custody anymore.
Mom's House, Dad's House.......2007-01-05
I tell everyone of my client's to get this book and follow the advice of Dr. Ricci to establish a co-parenting relationship after the divorce.
Excellent resource for some, maybe not for others.......2006-09-19
When my wife told me she wanted a divorce, I almost immediately grabbed every book I could find on resurrecting a marriage and handling a breakup with kids. I had plenty of time to read suddenly, after all. I found this book to be not only the most effective in handling kidds, but probably contained the best advice on keeping the marriage together. Alas, it was not meant to be.
A key thing: my children's mother and I have always wanted to be civil with one another. I recognize that many relationships do not end this way, and many parents are abusive or neglectful. There are other books that are better for handling those types of situations. For example, "Where's Daddy?" by Jill Curtis is likely to be helpful for a mother dealing with an absent or abusive father; for me it was not very helpful.
This book can be key in helping a couple that doesn't want their divorce to turn so sour that they can't stand each other's sight. It is helpful in handling each parent's relationship with their children, and their relationship with each other.
If you are already hunkered down in the middle of a war, this book may not be right for you; if you are trying to avoid getting into that situation in the first place, this book should be at the top of your list.
Susan Ashley, Ph.D. Author of The ADD and ADHD Answer Book.......2005-10-13
This is my first choice for book recommendations in my practice for divorcing families. It is a blueprint for how to raise a well adjusted child in two homes. If divorced parents only followed the advice in this book divorce would not be so tragic for children. This book advocates putting the child first and tells parent how to behave civilly and work co-operatively with the other parent for the sake of the child, telling parents what to do and what to say that keeps your child out of the middle of the anger between former spouses. This book is for every divorcing family regardless of your unique circumstances.
Book Description
Parenting is difficult enough in a family where the two parents love and respect each other. In divorce, where the respect has diminished and the love has often turned into intense dislike, co-parenting cane drive on or both parents to the brink of insanity. Joint Custody with a Jerk offers many proven communication techniques that will help you deal with your difficult ex-husband or ex-wife by describing examples of common problems and teaching you to examine your role in these sticky situations. These strategies for effective mediation are easy to apply, down-to-earth, and innovative.
Customer Reviews:
Who are they kidding?.......2007-06-01
This book is completely full of 'case studies', yet the biggest flaw is that they wrote it with such political correctness as to alienate the very person who is buying the book, mainly, the women! Almost every story is about some woman being the 'jerk' and some poor helpless guy getting taken advantage of! Give me a brake!
mixed bag.......2007-03-09
Most of the comments made are based on large assumptions about the dynamics of the relationships. I don't think it takes into account when you have an ex who isn't willing to work anything out. For such a circumstance I don't think this book really helps at all except understand your own feelings. I think I have a pretty good handle on my feelings and don't need any book to tell me how I feel or to help analyze myself for that matter. This book might help in trying to figure the ex out but in my opinion I think those are assumptions and opions as well and not neccessarily fact. If the author put in advice about legal options it might prove to be more useful.
A divorce recovery must have!.......2007-01-09
This book really helped to comfort me and to put things into perspective. I could hardly put this book down.I highly recommend it if you are in any stage of divorce. I wish I would have read it before my attorneys used my emotionally difficult divorce to suck thousands of wasted dollars out of me.
How To Inflame The Situation. Should be the title of this book........2006-09-07
One parenting acting like a jerk is bad enough. Advising the other parent to act like a jerk is not going to help the children.
Be as kind to yourself, your children and your X as you can. Don't behave like a jerk or make things harder for any reason.
Not recommended.
Everyone should read this book........2006-08-30
I personally think everyone regardless of their status should read this book. It's a great communication tool. Very quick read; simple; easy to read and understand. Personally I've found it to be a great help in dealing with many different situations, especially in times of conflict, that have almost impossible or non-existant positive communication.
This book makes it simple and easy to understand just how powerful taking responsibility for ones own issues and communication can be. It gives the reader a clear and concise way to gain control over themselves and their communication and hand back to the other party that which does not belong to the reader. I've bought this book for many of my friends and they have all felt like it was a valuable read not only when dealing with an ex-spouse, but also in many other situations where one finds ones self dealing with conflict.
My one regret with this book is that the title is such a poor choice for such a wonderful tool!
Book Description
"A must-have book on custody evaluations. . . . Philip Michael Stahl has done family law attorneys a great service by writing Conducting Child Custody Evaluations. . . . Dr. Stahl's book is a solid addition to the literature. It provides family law attorneys with the evaluator's perspective on the process, its purpose, and structure. Packed with examples that illustrate the author's points, the book is quite readable. . . . If you do custody work, this book is a must. You will find yourself using it continually as a resource and to share information with your clients. Dr. Stahl writes from experience and provides the perspective of a well-trained, thoughtful, ethical evaluator. He discusses the child custody evaluation process as I believe it should be--no wonder I liked the book so much." --M. Dee Samuels in Family Advocate Based on Philip Michael Stahl's extensive experience "in the trenches," Conducting Child Custody Evaluations presents a detailed examination of the many complex questions and issues involved in this process. Practical guidelines for completing evaluations are provided, including helpful information on interviewing parents and children, testifying in court, writing custody evaluations, working with attorneys, getting paid, and working in an ethical manner. Such fundamental concerns relating to divorce as the ability to parent, bonding and attachment of children and parents, the formulation of custody/access plans, and specific developmental issues are also addressed. Sensible, lucid, and insightful, this book is an important contribution to our understanding of how child custody evaluations are conducted and an excellent resource for psychologists, evaluators, social workers, family court and private mediators, judges, attorneys, and graduate students. "For those who need to know, for whatever reason, this is a valuable introduction, in comprehensive and surprizingly jargon-free detail, to a rarely considered topic." --Child & Family Behavior Therapy "This text is comprehensive, covering topics from interviewing children to how evaluators can stay current and experience professional renewal. It also has some very practical information relevant to anyone who performs child custody evaluations, from old hands to beginners. . . . This book is valuable to anyone interested in this subject: evaluators who seek to perform this task, attorneys who seek to understand the process of evaluation, judges who seek to evaluate the quality of an evaluation, and even parents who undergo such an evaluation. It presents a significant contribution to the field." --Family and Conciliation Courts Review "Conducting Child Custody Evaluations. . . is excellent. What makes this text so valuable is it is born of years of experience and reflects a more advanced vision about families following divorce. Both beginning and advanced evaluators will gain a great deal from reading this manual. It is both comprehensive and practical, capturing the essence and the spirit of performing this critical task. Even more importantly, it has several ideas about how evaluations can stay current and captures the value of a good evaluation on families, as well as the court. Nice work!" --Hugh McIsaac, Director, Family Court Services, Multnomah City Circuit Court, Portland, Oregon, and Editor, Family and Conciliation Courts Review "Dr. Stahl does a thorough, clear, and highly readable job of covering the complex arena of child custody evaluations, articulating the multiple demands on the evaluator, providing specific evaluation techniques for a range of referral questions, in addition to outlining extra-evaluation issues such as ethical concerns, the evaluator's relationship to the court, and burn-out. This is an excellent resource for both the new evaluator and those with expertise." --S. Margaret Lee, Ph.D., Private Practice, Greenbrae, California "Dr. Stahl is one of those rare professionals who neither talks down--or around--the problem. His book should be in the library of every serious family lawyer, family judge, and family evaluator." --John Kydd, J.D., M.S.W., and President Elect, Association of Family and Conciliation Courts "Anybody working on behalf of children in the civil courts could make good use of this text. Pay particular attention to chapters 5, 6 and 7, the appendices, and especially the specimen reports and excerpts. These are4 the heart of the book. And here Dr. Stahl's style is a model of clarity and simplicity." --Guy Mitchell in Legal and Criminological
Customer Reviews:
A Guide to the Perplexed.......2003-12-07
A surprisingly fresh and impressively comprehensive guide to the convoluted process of custody evaluations. The need for these court-mandated evaluations arises when one of the parents - often, the father - is a repeat offender, an abuser.
Abusers are thought by practitioners of psychology to be emotionally disturbed, the twisted outcomes of a history of familial violence and childhood traumas. They are typically diagnosed as suffering from a personality disorder, an inordinately low self-esteem, or codependence coupled with an all-devouring fear of abandonment. Consummate abusers use the right vocabulary and feign the appropriate "emotions" and affect and, thus, sway the evaluator's judgment.
As Lundy Bancroft correctly observes, Confronted with this contrast between a polished, self-controlled, and suave abuser and his harried casualties - it is easy to reach the conclusion that the real victim is the abuser, or that both parties abuse each other equally. The prey's acts of self-defense, assertiveness, or insistence on her rights are interpreted as aggression, lability, or a mental health problem.
The book draws attention to these pitfalls and provides a through description of the system and its protagonists. Sam Vaknin, author of "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited".
a must for all...........2003-05-01
if you are going to have a child custody matter you better read this book!!! read what they look for before you have an evaluation, be prepared!
Book Description
Help! is the first word a parent yells when dealing with a child custody battle. Author Guy White cuts through and captures the essence of how child custody cases are won and lost. Child Custody A to Z navigates you through the flawed system of justice. Evidence is the most overlooked aspect of a child custody case. This book explains and addresses:
How to choose an attorney
How to impeach court experts
How to gather evidence
How to expose a personality disorder
How to investigate your case
Child Custody A to Z is replete with case studies that tell the real story of the controversial game of child custody. There is no substitute for preparation. White reveals judges, attorneys and court experts for their bias and incompetence. The author takes you through the step-by-step formula for winning with evidence.
Customer Reviews:
Informative .......2007-10-04
This book is informative, as most other reviewers point out. I only caution that he does not show any understanding of a mother's perspective, in fact in some cases he comes across as a misogynist. I only point this out because men need to be able to understand their children's mothers in order to be able to work things out amiably as co-parents, a job which does not go away after court is no longer in session. The author does a really poor job of building up the good in 'most' mothers, and all too often portrays the negative, creating an antagonistic attitude towards all mothers, not just the bad ones. He even uses words like, 'evil', etc.
By all means get the book, it has lots of info, just try to keep an open and compassionate mind. Don't become the monster, even if your ex has.
Great Book!.......2007-04-02
Child Custody A to Z was not only very informative- it was very comforting for me to get the information needed while fighting the fight of my life! I loved learning about how to win- but I also found it equally important to learn about what I was doing that wasn't acceptable and not going in my favor. Even if I wasn't fighting for custody- this book is excellent for any divorce couple with children. Guy White has a lot of experience and knowledge that makes total sense and many valid points.
EXCELLENT! .......2007-03-07
This book is my life, in a nut shell. I finally found someone (Guy White) who will tell you like it is. No candy coating. I have told everyone I know (with children & in the same situation) about this book. I love the "take no prisoners" out look. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone and everyone!
When you can Keep it Simple.......2006-09-07
This book tells you what you need to know in a simple, straight manner. If you situation is standard and you need a book to take you through the paces, this is what you need. Recommend resource.
Excellenct Book!.......2006-06-15
Expertly written. This is a very informative, play by play book. It outlines the real rules of the "Game". It provides detailed information for family members needing to understand the facts of how a custody case is decided, the players involved and who has the most impact on the case.
Guy White identifies how you should act, think, protect and live your child custody case. Clearly his 20 years experience has positively impacted the live of parents, children and grand parents which were on his side of the case!
Amazon.com
Jeffery Leving has spent more than a decade in the trenches of domestic law. From that perspective, he gives men embroiled in custody disputes a powerful and impassioned voice in Fathers Rights. Arguing that men are disenfranchised and stigmatized by a biased legal system, Leving promises help through such difficulties as finding empathetic attorneys, avoiding unhealthy custody arrangements, protecting the child-parent relationship, and remaining financially solvent. Included is advice on how to demonstrate parental competence when falsely accused of abuse.
Writing with passion for the plight of an under-represented population in the domestic drama, Fathers' Rights offers sound, step-by-step council and a road map through the complex terrain of family law. "Too often a dangerous free-fall ensues," Leving writes, speaking of divorce's aftermath. "At every step in the divorce process, the legal system deepens marital wounds, serving up revenge and recrimination much more often than it dispenses compassion and justice." It is Leving's mission to right the wrongs caused by divorce court.
Book Description
Millions of fathers are currently in the fight of their lives: the fight for custody of their children. Many wonder if they will ever again be an important part of their children's lives. With this landmark book, renowned men's rights attorney Jeffery Leving leads fathers through every twist and turn of the legal system, offering meaningful advice to save years of anguish and possibly thousands of dollars.
This authoritative and accessible book covers every aspect of the custody process, including protecting the parent/child relationship as a breakup occurs; determining when to settle and when to litigate; techniques for dealing effectively with psychologists, social workers, and other domestic relations expert; and much more.
Illustrated with vivid real-life examples, Jeffery Leving and Kenneth Dachman's practical guide is essential reading for the scores of American Fathers routinely excluded from their children's lives by a biased legal system in which avarice and recrimination too often overwhelm compassion and justice.
Customer Reviews:
A Start.......2007-01-02
Mr. Leving has done a lot of good for fathers' rights in Illinois, and this is a workmanlike treatment of the strategy you should adopt if in court over custody.
But by the time you read this (or a book like this), often it is already too late to set in motion anything that will let you see your children.
If I had a son, I would give him this book in college, and make sure he knew his rights from the get go. Then I would advise him to hold off on marriage or cohabitation as long as possible.
Better to defer marriage and fatherhood and protect your assets than to marry too early, entering the 50% club of potential divorce. All single men should read and heed - unless you want to subsidize some woman's life for eighteen years or more. If you do not feel a compelling need to to marry, feel free to avoid doing so.
After all, having a vagina almost automatically entitles you to custody in the event of a divorce, a decision frequently made in Family Court, where there is no evidentiary due process. In other words, you have more legal rights in criminal court as a defendant than you do in Family Court as a petitioner or respondent. Marriage and fatherhood are dicey propositions these days.
A inprisoned parents rights.......2006-10-27
I have not read this book, but am looking for other self help books on a similar subject.I am a women , and have a child from a previous marriage.This father happens to be in prison for rape and bodily harm on a stranger.He has not seen our child since our son was 4 months old, my son is now 7 years old.
I remarried 2 years ago to wonderful man, we have been living together for a total of 5 years and my son knows him as his only father figure, infact we never incouraged my son to call my husband dad, but one day he just started to on his own.Children know who care for them, shelter them, love them ,and support them.You dont have to be a biological father or mother to do that!
My problem is this violent criminal still has rights to a child he dosn't even know or love , and when he does get out of prison who knows what kind of revenge he will take on me for not allowing visitation.Yes I know I chose to marry him and have a child , but If I knew what he was capable of I assure you I wouldn't have even given him the time of day, but as many of us know we never see the full person until we have lived with them for long enough.This man was also violent, and threatened harm upon me and my infant son.An all around abusive dude, there isnt enough time to even tell even a fraction of the stuff he put us through .
As a parent I should have a right to protect my son from any harmful person even his own biological father. attorney fees to have parental rights revoked so my husband can adopt can cost easily $15,000 in california. I dont have that type of money, and even if I do go through with it only 25 percent of these cases win.
I know there are great fathers out there who deserve to see there children.As a woman I couldn't imagine being so evil and try to take a great fathers rights away without a reason. With my sons biological father you can see that my son could be in danger if he ever had rights to him, but where are my rights to protect him, and where are my sons rights to be safe from potiential harm?
As for the men out there who are in my situation.Try not to be bitter towards women , just like men I assure you there are good ones out there!This isnt a war against the opposite sex, its a war against parents who are dangerous to our childrens welfare, and those people exists on both sides, and it is just as hard for women as it is for men trust me.
Fathers and Men need to WAKE UP NOW .......2006-09-25
I felt compelled to write about this book after reading one of the reviews on it apparently written by a female.
The review yearned for a REAL fathers advocate book written by someone who has been there and lived through the HELL that is divorce, custody and a compete loss of everything that resembled "my life" - after I caught my wife cheating on me.
I read this book during the first stages of my divorce and did not find it overly helpful. BUT, it was the only book that I found that spoke of what was about to happen.
I have been writing columns and attending divorce/mens support groups for two years now and am VERY despondent about what I am seeing.
Fathers rights is the "civil rights" story of this decade and it needs to be SEEN and SPOKEN about in the media.
I have been on a personal crusade to get groups organized in DENVER and to get any media outlet to focus on men's rights but I get NOTHING back - I have emailed Dr Phil, 20/20, every possible media outlet and all I get back is more stories on "deadbeat dads" and Women and Domestic violence.
Bad news GUYS:
We know the courts do not care -
We know the laws are laughably biased -
We know the media would rather propagate more female friendly stories -
But most guys do not ask WHY THIS IS.
I see this as Men not taking action. Men avoid support groups because we are supposed to "suck it up".
Men - WAKE UP - Get active.
If I cannot get this story on 20/20 or Dr Phil, it is because MEN are NOT the audience.
DO men vote, do men get involved in local politics, do men go to therapy to Resolve "their" issues. And these issues could include "how to deal with the powerlessness you feel in the system".
I am working to put together articles I have written about MY experience -
And it was/is horrible:
Wife cheats - gets caught - blames me for her behavior. Badgers the police with false charges against me - of which, I have to expend money to fight her.
My son (8) has cancer. My wife continued to change appointment times and cancel times.
AND GUESS WHAT GUYS:
When you get a Child Advocate or Child Family Investigator:
The game is:
As a MEN, you can never get angry.
If the ex plays with parenting time.
You cannot get angry.
If the ex uniformly ignores Permanent Orders.
You cannot get angry.
If the MAN gets angry the courts will CRUCIFY YOU.
I have documented my experiences and have read most every book (recommend Divorce Poison!!!!!) and plan to get this issue NATIONAL Attention.
I am not optimistic at the moment.
Finally, men, remember, no matter what transpires - no matter the complete injustice of the courts, lawyers, your ex's horrible wrath -
Remember that everything is about the kids. One mistake by you, as the male and father, and the system will take your kids away from you.
Make sure EVERY action is done with this in mind.
regards
Mike
Some good thoughts but overoptimistic.......2006-07-03
The author of this book certainly does not say anything that is untrue, even given the huge disparity of laws in the 50 states. However, on the front cover, among other things, he says you will learn how to:
*Find an effective and empathetic attorney
*Avoid unfavorable custody arrangements
*Overcome the "tender years" bias
*Remain financially solvent
To be quite honest, being the second wife of a man who has been taken to the cleaners repeatedly by a devious first wife who has no moral compass, all I can say is this book must contain magical powers, because that is the only way any of these things are going to happen.
First off, as far as finding an effective attorney, forget about it. The author's advice is pollyanna-ish at best. Attorneys are foremost interested in making money, and family law only pays off in volume. Therefore your case will get the obligatory two hour cram session from your attorney just prior to court. Plan on doing any real investigation yourself, and realize you are going to probably have to give your attorney a script of questions to read in court because these people are not "out of the box" thinkers.
As far as avoiding unfavorable custody arrangements and overcoming the tender years bias, remember that judges are generally from the most conservative ranks of lawyers, and lawyers are from the most conservative ranks of society. I'm not talking about "conservative" in political terms. I'm talking about conservative in terms of conserving and never questioning the status quo, and the status quo is father = cash machine, mother = protector of civilization. Nothing but divine intervention is going to overcome that. Daniel Broderick overcame it, but then look what happened to him. The author of this book misleads you into believing that the system is remotely fair and unbiased, probably because he has been part of the system and cannot see it for what it is.
As far as remaining financially solvent, the author completely overlooks the most important factor of all - which state you live in. Some states, such as Texas and New York, have absolute limits of 25% of your pre-tax income put on child support. As much as the courts and the mother of your children would love to pick your pockets for more money, this is all they are going to get. However, if you are unfortunate enough to live in the state of Virginia, there is no limit on alimony or child support and you can wind up with negative income flow, which happened in the case of my husband's divorce and is happening now in the case of an acquaintance and his divorce. In fact, the financial ruin of a Virginia divorce is the reason Aldrich Ames gave for becoming the worst spy in American history.
In summary, although I may seem harshly critical, this book is moderately helpful as to absolute facts and a mentality you must take if you are on the road to litigation. However, I subtract two stars because I think it gives false hope to single fathers and their probable future in terms of staying close to their children and not winding up in debtor's prison if the mother is determined to fight. I've been up close and personal with this ongoing problem in my husband's life for the past 14 years, so I think I know what I'm talking about.
Very informative.......2005-09-22
This book is a must read for all dads who are facing custody disputes of any type. Fathers are a very important part of a child's life and they should know how to fight to stay close and involved with their children.
Book Description
This is the first book to provide objective methods for establishing that a child has been brainwashed by one parent against another. It is based on a ten-year study of 700 cases in the authors' counseling and evaluative work with children of divorced couples.
Customer Reviews:
Children Held Hostage.......2006-10-07
Children Held Hostage is the very best book for help in understanding and identifying PARENTAL ALIENATION. It should be in the hands of every Lawyer, Guardian ad Litem, Psychologist and any one working with children. It, also, is very beneficial for parents to read, who are suffering from this disorder. Parental Alienation is cruel and breaks the bond-of-love between a parent and child. Before allowing a Guardian ad Litem or others to intervene, he/she should read this book. I cannot praise it enough.
Hazel Davis, Chair
PAS Kids In Distress
Hope for the hopeless.......2004-07-22
This is the most in depth book on the market for someone in a hostile custody battle involving parental alienation syndrome. The authors have addressed significant issues in great detail. They have provided useful tools to combat the issues at hand and given hope to those embroiled in the battle.
data filled book.......2004-03-05
One of the best studies of the damage of alienating parental behaviour in divorce does to children. This was a pre-cursor to Gardner's terminology of Parental Alienation Syndrome, but all that here discusses is here. This book will help many divorced
parents monitor their own behaviour, as well as help their children, with the knowledge of how the children are being impacted. Expensive, but very informative.
An eye-opening, surprising, frightening divorce possibility........1999-02-04
I was given this book to read after 3 months of weekly counseling with my husband. It was clear to our counselor that my stepdaughter was being programmed and brainwashed for the past 14 years by her mother and step-father of 14 years. (I've been in her life for the past 8 years).
What I read was very disturbing in that it hit home in so many places. The process and definitions were clear and easily identifiable.
The book helped me understand what's been going on and how it happened. In our case the history has been many many years and the programmers'/ brainwashers' support group includes the mother, stepfather, half and step-siblings and grand- parents (among others).
I suspect that this behavior is very common in divorce situations (with children) in varying degrees. This book should be given to all parents who separate/divorce in hopes that they do better by their children and work together to put their children first.
Book Description
This book helps parents in the aftermath of divorce learn to sustain a healthy co-parenting relationship. “Conflict and Parenting” explores parental conflict and its effects on children, conflict resolution, and the importance of forging a co-parenting relationship. “Co-Parenting Guidelines” offers specifics for solving day-to-day problems, disciplining, and handling conflict during transitional times and special events.
Customer Reviews:
A bit simplistic but a good help.......2007-04-25
The book was a bit simplistic, much of the same information was covered in the New Hampshire Mandatory co parenting class. But it was still some very good advice.
Nothing ground breaking here but it's a good collection of what you probably should know.
A BOOK TO BE AVAILABLE ON DISPLAY IN EVERY LIBRARY.......2007-01-09
THE BOOK: THE CO-PARENTING SURVIVAL GUIDE: LETTING GO OF CONFLICT AFTER A DIFFICULT DIVORCE...
BY ELIZABETH THAYER, PH.D.
IN THIS ERA OF SPOILED BRATS (THE PARENTS), THIS BOOK WILL HELP WITH THE CONFLICTS OF TODAY!! WE ARE NOT LOOKING AT THE REAL MEANING OF TWO PEOPLE MAKING THE COMMITTMENT OF MARRIAGE!!! SOCIETY HAS PROGRESSED TO THE SIZE OF THE WEDDING, THE DREAM OF THE PERFECT WEDDING, NOT THE COMMITTMENT OF REALLY LOVING THE PERSON YOUR MARRYING. CONSEQUENTLY, PEOPLE MARRY AND HAVE CHILDREN, THEN WHEN THE STRAIN OF MAKING A MARRIAGE WORK BECOMES TOO HARD......THEN DIVORCE IS INEVITALBLE. THEN THE GAMES.... BEGIN, ONE OR BOTH PARENTS DECIDE THAT THEIR FORMER PARTNER IS NOT WHO THEY WANT THEIR CHILDREN AROUND.....SO, POISION THE CHILDREN'S MINDS AGAINST THE OTHER PARENT. THIS BOOK HELPS BOTH PARTIES REALIZE HOW TO WORK WITH THEIR OWN CONSCIENCE....AS WELL AS HELP MAKE THE CHILDREN AS COMFORTABLE WITH THE SITUATION (WHICH MUST BE FIRST IN THE PARENTS MINDS). DRAGING EACHOTHER THROUGH THE COURTS IS NOT THE ANSWER, COURTS JUST DEAL WITH WHICH SIDE AS MORE LEVERAGE, EVEN THE PSYCHOLOGISTS JUST PLAY WITH THE SITUATIONS. WE NEED MORE BOOKS LIKE THIS, AGAIN DISPLAYED IN EVERY LIBRARY IN THE UNITED STATES.
The book I wish I had written.......2006-01-09
I am a play therapist, author of "The Successful Divorce, In The Eyes of the Child" course and have taught parenting divorced for nine years. This is the book that says it all. The authors teach in clear logical manner how to co parent your children. They are sensitive to the pain both parents and children feel post divorce and teach how to proceed in parenting. I frequently use sections of their book in teaching to remind parents that they must still work together enough to meet children's needs. This is a concise book, no long drawn out narratives or tales of others pain... just the facts and how to avoid the pitfalls. I and the children of divorce, owe these authors a huge thank you. Their new book is also great,
5 gift copies (and counting).......2005-08-04
when i divorced two years ago, reasonably contentiously and with a four year old daughter, the best advice i got was to read this book. i did, with highlighter in hand, and found it absolutely invaluable. i continue to this day to consider it absolutely invaluable! such that, i just ordered a gift copy for my brother and his new wife, to help them with my niece and her co-parent. that gift brings the total i've purchased for others up to five. its an unfortunate reality that there will probably be more in the future, but the book helps immensely and so there will be gifts.
Trust this author with your children.......2005-04-13
I went through a high-conflict divorce in Connecticut in 2004, complete with restraining orders, police, and the whole 9 yards. As I saw the divorce approaching, I researched a great deal of divorce/parenting literature on my own, hoping to find a framework of something my (soon-to-be) ex and I could agree to work with, and I found this book. I read it and gave a copy to my ex. I also found an divorce/custody attorney who would focus on our children's interests, and his very first recommendation was to get this book and see Dr. Thayer in her practice jointly with my ex.
I'm grateful I had the expertise of Dr. Thayer to help me let go of conflicts I had with my ex. The guiding principle of the book and her joint practice (which is called The Peace Program) is to transform a personal, contentious relationship with an ex into a business-like relationship focused on the children's welfare. In a high-conflict divorce, this is a very difficult objective -- conflict can be blinding and all-consuming -- but it is possible, and the energy is of course better spent on the children. The book outlines suggestions to facilitate parenting business, such as a weekly parenting phone call (a business call) and a dozen Golden Parenting Rules. In the end, after the parents extinguish their fighting, the children get their parents back, and a good deal of their childhood back, because the parents choose to work together as co-parents. Through the 18 months I've been using this book, I find myself living in various chapters of it, depending on the evolution of my divorce. As the children get older, new issues arise, and the book remains on the top shelf of my bookshelf, where my most useful books reside.
Customer Reviews:
I Have 1 Problem With This Book.......2006-07-23
The book as a whole was pretty good, but I do have one major problem with this book. There were some instances where the book stated that Kenneth Taylor had probably faced some kind of sexual abuse in his past, and then at the very end of the book it quotes his mother as saying that she had heard that some mothers performed fellatio on their infant children to ease teething pain.
To me this made it seem like the author was trying to imply that perhaps Kenneth's mother had been the one to sexually abuse him. Maybe I am just super-sensitive, but that's the way I took it and I was somewhat offended by it.
Excellent.......2004-07-13
I've re-read this book many times - which means it is well-written and fascinating. Peter Maas obtained as much information as he could so that readers would be able to understand the background of the characters in this true crime story. Although it leaves you wanting to know more about Ken's parents, especially his mother (how did she turn out so differently than her own mother, Jean?), he does the best he can...apparently in this case, a psychopath was born, not made. Some of the people involved (Marilyn), you just want to smack upside the head...I also wondered why and how could Therese stay with Ken knowing that he beat her so badly on their honeymoon that she almost died. Why did she refuse to see the truth? She paid for it with her life.
Great true crime book.......2002-01-27
Peter Maas is a good, solid writer. This is the book that was the basis of the TV movie starring Valerie Bertinelli. However, there is much more detail in the book. For example, there is more of the background of the victim and the dentist/murderer. It also seems that the victim did use cocaine, although Maas does strees that it was only "recreational." (???--what is recreational?) Also, he admits that he beat her up in Mexico. It's a page burner.
Chilling and sad.......2002-01-23
I saw the 1991 miniseries of "In A Child's Name" before I had ever read the book, and I must say that, in both cases, I was saddened and angered at the murder of a beautiful, innocent mother and also by the manipulation of an innocent child, who was ultimately the real victim, along with his mother. Ultimately, however, I was moved by the family's coming together to raise the baby boy left by his loving mother and cold-hearted father. The book does go deeper into the horror of what happened after the young mother's murder than the miniseries. However, both tell the tragic but ultimately uplifting story about abuse, murder, cold-hearted manipulation, and ultimate strength and love.
A Must-Read.......2002-01-21
Entralling from the first page to the last. If you've seen the movie, DEFINATELY read the book. Michael Ontkean's portrayal of Ken Taylor is terrific. Being from Indina, I was especially interested due to the custody battle that came as a result of Taylor bludgeoning his wife to death. The fact that this story is true is what makes it so horrible. My heart ached, not only for the child, but for Teresa's family members who were put through not only having to deal with her murder, but the idea of her child being in the custody of Ken Taylor's parents. Louise Fletcher, who plays Ken Taylor's mother gives a chilling reference to a mother turning a ridiculously blind eye to the fact that her son was a manipulative cold blooded murderer with very strange sexual appetites (records indicated that calls were made from the scene of the murder to 900-sex lines while Teresa lay dead on the floor). A chilling account.
Books:
- Women As They Age
- Your Over-35 Week-by-Week Pregnancy Guide: All the Answers to All Your Questions About Pregnancy, Birth, and Your Developing Baby
- A Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament and Other Early Christian Literature
- Bad News/Good News (Beacon Street Girls #2) (Beacon Street Girls)
- Beatrix Potter: A Journal
- Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu: Theory & Technique
- Brief Encounters: A Dictionary for Court Reporting
- Childhood Language Disorders in Context: Infancy through Adolescence (2nd Edition)
- Christian Counseling That Really Works
- Clinical Trials in Oncology, Second Edition
Books Index
Books Home
Recommended Books
- Linear Programming, Second Edition - Foundations and Extensions
- History: Fiction or Science
- Study Guide, Volume 2, Chapters 15-25 for use with Financial & Managerial Accounting: A Basis fo
- Timothy Leary: Outside Looking In: Appreciations, Castigations, and Reminiscences by Ram Dass, Andre
- Competing on Analytics: The New Science of Winning
- Henry James: Novels 1901-1902: The Sacred Fount / The Wings of the Dove
- Blood and Thunder: An Epic of the American West
- Telecourse Guide for Accounting in Action
- Volatility and Growth
- Laboratory Animal Welfare: A Guide to Reference Tools
Child Custody A to Z: Winning with Evidence
Winning Custody: A Woman's Guide to Retaining Custody of Her Children
Custody for Fathers: A Practical Guide Through the Combat Zone of a Brutal Custody Battle
Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex
Fathers' Rights: Hard-Hitting & Fair Advice for Every Father Involved in a Custody Dispute
