Book Description
Women are constantly being told that it's simply too difficult to balance work and family, so if they don't really "have to" work, it's better for their families if they stay home. Not only is this untrue, Leslie Bennetts says, but the arguments in favor of stay-at-home motherhood fail to consider the surprising benefits of work and the unexpected toll of giving it up. It's time, she says, to get the message across -- combining work and family really is the best choice for most women, and it's eminently doable.Bennetts and millions of other working women provide ample proof that there are many different ways to have kids, maintain a challenging career, and have a richly rewarding life as a result. Earning money and being successful not only make women feel great, but when women sacrifice their financial autonomy by quitting their jobs, they become vulnerable to divorce as well as the potential illness, death, or unemployment of their breadwinner husbands. Further, they forfeit the intellectual, emotional, psychological, and even medical benefits of self-sufficiency.The truth is that when women gamble on dependancy, most eventually end up on the wrong side of the odds. In riveting interviews with women from a wide range of backgrounds, Bennetts tells their dramatic stories -- some triumphant, others heartbreaking.The Feminine Mistake will inspire women to accept the challenge of figuring out who they are and what they want to do with their lives in addition to raising children. Not since Betty Friedan has anyone offered such an eye-opening and persuasive argument for why women can -- and should -- embrace the joyously complex lives they deserve.
Customer Reviews:
Please read this book.......2007-10-03
I am a female attorney who has been practising family law for 26 years.
When I first started out, I represented many women who were married in the 1940's, 50's and 60's, when society felt that every woman's place was in the home. As a result, many "displaced homemakers" suddenly found themselves facing poverty in their old age. My own generation (the baby-boomers) all seemed to gravitate towards careers, so the displaced, poverty-stricken homemakers would be a thing of the past, right?
Wrong.
I am stunned to discover how many women in their 20's and 30's (the so-called post-feminist generation) are opting to become stay-at-home moms.
What is the problem, you ask?
In one word - DIVORCE.
And don't say it'll never happen to you. After all, I'm sure you buy smoke detectors, don't leave matches within your children's reach, don't leave candles or a stovetop unattended - but I'll also bet you also have homeowner's insurance, in case the unthinkable happened and your house caught on fire.
I've known so many women who tried so hard to be terrific wives, great mothers - and still found themselves divorced. Making sure you always have marketable skills so that you are able to support yourself and your children is like buying homeowner's insurance.
Of all the divorced SAHM's I've known, very very few are able to return to the workforce and earn enough money to support their families in the same lifestyle they enjoyed during the marriage. Sure, you can always get a minimum-wage job as a sales clerk or a waitress, but it will not buy you a middle-class lifestyle. Well-paying jobs will go to either a) recent college graduates, with newly-learned marketable skills or b) people who have spent the last 5, 10 or 15 years working their way up the ladder.
This book is a must-read, especially for young SAHM's who are confident that their marriage will last forever and that they will have no trouble re-entering the workforce any time they choose. I do have two criticisms, though: one, it is repetitive (one needn't repeat the same thing over and over to make a point) and it focuses almost exclusively on upper-middle class women, who are only a minority of the population.
Actually, upper-middle class SAHM's often suffer the worst, financially and emotionally, from a divorce, since they tend to have the most unrealistic expectations about the workplace (especially those who never worked outside the home at all) and they experience the biggest drop in lifestyle.
The men, on the other hand, tend to do very well after the divorce, simply because they have always had a well-paying career, without interruption, and after the initial financial hit (splitting the assets and paying child support) they keep on earning a high income, year after year.
Use of Ancedotal Evidence Left Me Frustrated and Confused.......2007-09-27
I would not recommend this book. It's a shame really, b/c I think Ms. Bennetts has a good message. Unfortunately she seems to base many of her points on ancedotal evidence. The writing style was a bit choppy and I couldn't figure out if Ms. Bennetts simply chose the wrong ancedote each time or if she truly wants women to not only support themselves, but to drive fancy cars and live in fancy houses.
Her apparent emphasis on material wealth repeatedly seemed to undermine her intentions. And the use of ancedotal evidence just compromised her authority. Perhaps I should have been tipped off at the start of the book when she used her mother as an example of a woman that was able to balance family and work successfully without reprocussions. (Too bad she doesn't emphasize the fact that her grandmother provided the childcare.)
Another example is when she put down a stay-at-home mom for driving old cars in order to live in a wealthy neighborhood with a good school system. Ms. Bennetts seemed to imply that the mother should go back to work so her family could afford new cars and other such luxuries. Surely this wasn't her point, or was it?
I was looking for a book that would support my decision to remain a working mom; however, examples like these throughout the book left me questioning the true message of the book and left me frustrated.
SAHMs Beware.......2007-09-27
Women do bash each other too much, but that's probably because we are all trying to be good at so many contradictory things -- and are afraid we're failing at all of them.
This book has jumped right into the "mommy wars," and been bashed accordingly.
Even though young women want to do life differently than their mothers did (who - trust me - wanted to do life even more differently than THEIR mothers did), we all keep circling around the same problem: We want our families to flourish. We just don't want to become penniless and futureless doing it.
This highly readable book argues that combining work and motherhood is tough but possible and even rewarding. Bennetts contends that depending on husbands to earn all the family money is very risky, and she is quite believable when she describes the many ways that this way of life can go wrong.
Bennetts is also not buying many of the "reasons" that have become fashionable for mom's total surrender of jobs, money, and benefits. She is at her most entertaining when she dissects today's version of the weary cult of motherhood, in which only mom's incessant hands-on attention is presumed to create conditions in which an infant can even survive.
Entertaining and thought-provoking.
Wise Counter Argument to Stay at Home Mom Phenom.......2007-09-10
As far as this topic goes, I've always been a live and let live kind of woman, although I would personally not be comfortable totally relying on a man to support me financially. All the women in my family have worked. I grew up with a working mom, who was a stay at home mom, until she found herself widowed with an 11 month old daughter. When I would hear those "I didn't even know where the checkbook was" stories from women who had either been abandoned or did the abandoning, I always thought...where the heck was your brain? Even if you are a housewife/full time mother, you are and ADULT in your home and should share in the responsibility of guiding your family's financial future. I have a very dear friend who is a stay at home mother and home schools her children. She does part time sales, but guess what..she does the books! Her husband wouldn't dare make a financial move without her and it works for them. Conversely, I have friends who also have husbands who earn a good living, but they work, because they feel they are able to contribute more. As a single woman, it is sometimes daunting to think that I am fully responsible for my financial future..but after reading this book, it reminded me that even if I were married, I would still be fully responsible. I'm also a fairly conservative person, but I have to say, I've seen the church and conservative politicians try to hammer home that the BEST solution for families is to have the mother at home while the father worked. But even GOD allows for personal choice, and if I remember my Bible correctly, the Proverbs 31 woman worked both inside and outside of her household. To me the best solution is to do what works for you. If you feel that you should stay home, then stay home. If you feel that you should work, then work. Each choice, like most choices, comes with its pros and cons. However, whatever your choice, in life, you should always make it a priority to educate yourself and develop a skill.
A Relevant Warning to Women.......2007-09-07
This book serves as a warning to all women who have children or are thinking about having children, that you can't always depend on a man to support you. For women who are thinking about dropping out to raise children they need to think of the long term consequences of their future earning power.
Book Description
By weaving practical insights and exercises through a rich tapestry of multicultural myths, ancient legends, and folktales, Anita Johnston helps the millions of women preoccupied with their weight discover and address the issues behind their negative attitudes toward food.
Customer Reviews:
Gain Light and Insight.......2007-08-23
"Eating in the Light of the Moon" is hands down the best book on disordered eating I have yet to read, because it sheds light on the painful struggle with uplifting, inspiring storytelling. Johnston's soft, delicate voice will weave you through tales of distant lands which somehow bring you to the shore of self-discovery. This book does use psychology as the basis for its generalizations, but I never found it to be too preachy. Like saying good-bye to your favorite characters at the end of a novel, you will not want this story to end. It is one giant affirmation, and I recommend it especially to women who long to reclaim their hidden or lost feminine.
This book is wonderful.......2007-07-28
For people who want to recover from an eating disorder this book is a must for your library. It is conforting, interesting and soulful. It prompts the inner self to open its mouth and get ready to be fed what will truly nourish you.
An eating disorder can be a catalyst to your growth as a person if you surrender to it with awareness and be open to its teachings. This book can help you do that. When you really know what you need besides behaviors of an eating disorder then you can go about the task of learning and working in partnership with life to create what you are really wanting and desiring.
If you are new in recovery this book helps open the door to the deeper self and prepares you for a journey. If you are already in recovery and want another affirming voice to add to your support system, this book will help.
truly helpful book.......2007-07-10
this book was an EXTRAORDINARY experience....it was almost as if I was having a 1:1 therapy session with a psychologist. What a fantastic exploration into an isolated world of eating disorders where no one really knows what it is like until you have been there. This book really gets to the meat of what is underlying an eating disorder. Having experienced this myself, it was nothing short of a incredible awakening as to revealing why I do what I do. Highly recommended
Worth a Re-read, especially if the first time was hurried........2007-06-05
I am currently reading this book for the second time, immediately following a treatment program for disordered eating and bulimia. This book is an incredible source of inspiration, and a real beacon of light for those who are not currently in a therapy program.
I admit, the first time I looked through this book I was put off and uninterested in it because of the "mother earth, sacred feminine" tone in the first few pages. In retrospect, I am not sure that it was the point of view that wasn't my style as much as the fact that my ED was in charge of my rational mind, telling me that I was just fine and the book was stupid.
I recommend purchasing this book if you have read "Life with ED" or "Don't Live It, Diet" or some memoirs of those with EDs, because it is a totally different perspective. It isn't as easy to read as the "Life with ED", and it isn't a work book. It isn't a sad story about ED that will be triggering. Rather, it is a book divided into easy to read chapters that comfort the spirit and affirm recovery.
Thanks Dr. Johnston for such a creative and caring book.
great book about emotional eating.......2007-05-15
This is one of the best books I have ever read about emotional eating. The author is clear, easy to understand, and compassionate. She provides a mix of thoughtful and pragmatic info. I strongly recommend this book!!!!
Book Description
In Unbending Gender, Joan Williams takes a hard look at the state of feminism in America. Concerned by what she finds--young women who flatly refuse to identify themselves as feminists and working-class and minority women who feel the movement hasn't addressed the issues that dominate their daily lives--she outlines a new vision of feminism that calls for workplaces focused on the needs of families and, in divorce cases, recognition of the value of family work and its impact on women's earning power. Williams shows that workplaces are designed around men's bodies and life patterns in ways that discriminate against women, and that the work/family system that results is terrible for men, worse for women, and worst of all for children. She proposes a set of practical policies and legal initiatives to reorganize the two realms of work in employment and households--so that men and women can lead healthier and more productive personal and work lives. Williams introduces a new 'reconstructive' feminism that places class, race, and gender conflicts among women at center stage. Her solution is an inclusive, family-friendly feminism that supports both mothers and fathers as caregivers and as workers.
Customer Reviews:
Great book.......2006-05-16
My partner of more than half a decade and I, want to have children, but he is also facing the same scheduling problems. I picked a company that supports work from home and 1 day off a week - but great possibility that I will not get promoted the same rate as my male colleagues. While his company only gives 1 week paternity leave (using vacation hours), which is of no real help at all. That is why we are waiting 15-20 years (we will be about 40-45) to adopt a couple of kids. We will be one of those old yuppie couples with Asian babies.
My parents were also over achievers at work, they hired a nanny for 13 years. For us career oriented people, our choices are very limited, but it is up to us to convince the corporate world for change. I am glad that some companies have family friendly benefits (still a long way to go) - while during my grandmother and mother's time they had no options at all.
Impeccable research, very readable.......2002-03-09
This is one of a handful of books that I wish I had written. It tackles the difficult subject of the work/family conflict with impeccable research and persuasive arguments for reform. It's not strident or hyperbolic, just great scholarship and great writing. You don't have to be a lawyer or law professor to read and enjoy it; it would give great support to any parent struggling to find time enough to work and raise a child. It is a must-read for anyone interested in the work/family balance movement, anyone who still calls themselves a feminist (I do), and all working parents.
"Must Reading" for Men, Also.......2001-01-06
Now more than ever before, fathers and husbands (as well as uncles, brothers, and sons) need to understand how and why so many women experience so much stress when struggling to fulfill all manner of traditional gender-specific obligations in combination with other obligations related to the workplace. This same understanding is imperative for men with whom these women associate in their workplace. I'm not saying women's obligations are better or worse than those men have. But many of them are significantly different. True, assignment of marital and parental obligtions often has less to do with gender than with practicality. Of necessity, some Baby Boomers and many Generation Xers have re-defined concepts such as "partnering" and "division of labor." The process of re-definition or refinement will accelerate with Generation Yers. One of Williams' key points is that at work and in the home, indeed everywhere, men and women must have the courage and (yes) the patience to collaborate and accommodate in ways and to an extent which spouses and parents never have before. Those unable to "bend" with appropriate adjustment and (yes) with good will could well "break." Williams identifies various major problems and their causes, then suggests how those problems could be avoided or solved. You may not agree with all of her opinions (fair enough) but I think you will agree that she addresses important issues with care and concern. So must each of us.
Critical Information for Family Therapists.......2000-10-25
As a family therapist with a special interest in the area of work and family, I have read a number of books on this issue. Unbending Gender is a tremendous contribution to the field and one of my favorites. It was highly recommended to me by a marriage and family therapist and university professor, and I am passing on the recommendation to many of my colleagues. Williams' book has important implications for family therapy, as many male and female clients struggle with how to combine market work and family work. It will change the way you educate, normalize, and approach this issue with clients.
Visions of a New Paradigm.......2000-08-12
This is the book that I had been waiting for! As a lawyer, feminist, wife and mother I have struggled with conflicts between work and career and found myself forced to make "choices" that later seemed unjust. After examining family law and employment discrimination law in the course of rethinking how our society structures the relationship of "market work" to "family work," Williams presents her visions for a new paradigm which she calls "reconstructive feminism" or "family humanism." She offers both legal strategies and policy initiatives for restructuring how we "work" and changing the ways we talk about gender. This book has had a tremendous impact on me. As a result, I am hoping to teach a law school course around this book next spring. Professor Williams has been extremely helpful in assisting me in that endeavor. In addition, I am urging everyone I know to read this book. We need to forge the coalitions Williams proposes if we are to be ultimately successful in "unbending" gender roles in our society.
Book Description
This book shows women how to create an enduring document that expresses who they are, what they value, and how they want to be remember.
Customer Reviews:
Journaling for the Next Generation.......2007-02-02
"Legacy work is different from autobiography, memoir, life review, and genealogy not so much in what is written, but in our intent." ~ pg. 2
Women's Lives, Women's Legacies is a practical and inspirational guide. Through a systematic approach women can access their beliefs and bless the next generation with a healing journal of life and love. Divided into three sections, there is a process of discovery through the past, present and future.
How did you receive your name? This section is fascinating and then an example of how to write about your name is given to provide perspective and inspiration.
"Begin by thinking about the home you lived in when you were growing up." ~ pg. 68
Through childhood memories you can start to create a picture of how you became who you are today. This section includes memory triggers, which are especially helpful. You may want to go through photo albums while experiencing this section of the book. I found it useful to photocopy groups of pictures for reference and organized my pictures by year.
I loved the section on "Reflections and Writing" where you complete sentences like:
What I have loved most about my life is...
A fairy tale, children's story, fictional character, or book that has had an important influence on my life is...
This book is amazing in its ability to help you remember long-forgotten memories. There are sections for friendship, family, motherhood, sexuality, spirituality and secrets. Throughout this creative work, there are some startlingly beautiful poems and wise quotes. There are lists of descriptive words you can expand on like: playful, sensual, and imaginative.
While this book is designed for journal-style writing, I think all writers and poets will find this to be especially inspirational and enriching experience. What will you leave for the next generation to discover?
One of my most treasured items is a diary my mother wrote about my first year of life and she also wrote a diary about her world travels. She is currently interested in genealogy and I think this book might be useful for anyone researching and writing about family history. This book would be perfect for a mother-daughter project or as a project for a woman's group. Women's Lives, Women's Legacies is a gift in itself and this could open the door to many worlds you want to visit time and again.
~The Rebecca Review
Women's Lives, Women's Legacies - a radiant guidebook.......2003-10-03
I'm a woman who's been blessed with a long and varied life. I've always wanted to share my experiences with my nieces, and to offer them my hard-earned wisdom so that they might move into womanhood a little better informed than I was. I've also had an inner desire to be seen and valued by them.
The beautifully written and accessible WOMEN'S LIVES, WOMEN'S LEGACIES offers encouragement and serves as a guide so that I may begin to write my life and in the process, come to love and appreciate myself more fully. I love the personal stories and poetry in the book. As I read, I find myself moving to that spiritual place inside myself of loving my own being as well as all the women who've lived before me and those who will come after. This book is a celebration of and addition to the heritage of women.
Women's Lives, Women's Legacies - Bravo.......2003-10-02
Women's Lives, Women's Legacies is a powerful tool to jump-start your own story and to share it with others. I found it thought provocing - answering questions about oneself, one's history, and future a wonderful communication tool. I enjoyed thinking about my naming process, secrets, values, and spirituality. The format of the book could be used in ways most suited to how I saw my own legacy. Being newly married I answered the questions for myself and then asked my husband about himself and his family-I learned new things about both. Whether you are married or single, have children or none, you will find your place is this beautifully written soul-searching book.
Brings forth women's wisdom.......2003-09-30
I am a writer, counselor, and teacher in my 60's, married for over 40 years, with grown children and one grandchild. So I can recommend this book especially to midlife and older women. This book can help us harvest the fruits of our abundant life experience and share them with a wisdom-starved world.
Through stories, commentary, and especially "reflection and writing" suggestions, this book guides us to contemplate aspects and details of our lives we may tend to take for granted, plumbing the rich depths of their meaning to us, our families, and the world. To name just a few examples: pregnancy, miscarriage, and birth; hanging clothes on a clothesline, specific childhood memories, family relationships, friendships, personal rituals, illness and healing experiences, personal response to world events.
Motivating and inspiring!.......2003-09-30
I must admit, I've read the personal stories, poems and quotes found throughout the book, but haven't finished the writing exercises; my spiritual ethical will is a work-in-progress! This book has inspired me to learn more about my roots, particularly my Jewish heritage. Since beginning the book I have contacted my great-aunt and have arranged to spend time with her next month, to better understand my genealogical and spiritual roots before moving ahead with the writing process.
As a social worker in long-term care and senior housing, I am acutely aware of how many women's stories go untold. I would love to use this book as a guide for a writing group; just think of all the stories and pearls of wisdom that could be saved!
Customer Reviews:
Which translation of de Tocqueville's "Democracy in America"?.......2007-08-31
I'd like to learn which translation of Alexis de Tocqueville's "Democracy in America" Sarah Pride read in making reference to and commenting upon it in her review of June 1, 2004 entitled: The real story of Mary Pride.
I personally cannot rate this item right now, for I have not yet read it, but I'm buying this book largely because of your review, Sarah, which I thought was very helpful.
Since I apparently cannot leave the item unrated (for Amazon rejects my review without a rating), I shall rate it positively in anticipation that it will match my evaluation of the other books I've read by Mary Pride.
A little too much Pride.......2007-07-23
Firstly, I think any woman who speaks of the blessing of being a mother and wife is to be praised. Many who look at a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) automatically think of dirty dishes and aprons, not realizing how wonderful it is to raise children and be a life-partner to a man in Christ. Having said this, Mary Pride's book is, unfortunetly, not just filled with praises of the home, but with harsh condemnations of women who don't work at home and people who don't share her often rigid views.
I once heard a person describe another book as "so conservative, it left little room for personality". While I of course respect conservatives and know they have personalities, I think this description fits Mary Pride's book perfectly. To call Pride merely conservative is an understatement; she's really closer to puritanical, in both beliefs and tone. Pride is not only interested in women working at home, but basically doing everything at home: home births, home schooling, you name it. Her extremely old-fashioned mindset is by no means right for everyone, and her extremely judgemental tone of women who dare to work outside the home is often hard to swallow.
Pride's harsh and rather compassionless tone reached its peak when she spoke of family planning. According to her, "Family planning is the mother of abortion." I won't mince words here; that is honestly one of the biggest crocks I've ever read, not to mention the most offensive. How Pride dares to compare the attempt to manage reproduction to the removal of an embryo (or worse, a half-formed baby) is beyond me. It's my opinion that if a person, especially a Christian, is not willing to really consider the position of other people, she has no business writing a book. What of women who have health problems, or God forbid would like to stop having children after giving birth to and raising six? Neither Pride nor anyone else, man or woman, has the right to tell them what they should do! A truly humble woman should be willing to admit that her lifestyle doesn't work for everyone and that people don't appreciate being condescended to, especially with such outrageous overgeneralization and faulty comparisons.
Pride doesn't hold back on giving her one-track opinion on anything, including sex. While unkinky sex (the type that Pride approves of) may be very enjoyable, I agree completely with the woman who said that what people do in their bedrooms is their business and their choice. As long as it's not sadistic, I believe married people have the right to do whatever pleases them without any outside judgement. Frankly, I have no wish whatsoever to know what Pride does in her own bedroom, anymore than I care to have her opinion on what's appropriate.
For a woman who claims her book is the way "Back to reality", Pride seems to have little knowledge of what goes on in the real world. Her definition of reality seems to be stuck in a Victorian or Puritanical society in which women were not allowed to do much more than bear children whether they liked it or not. Sometimes women HAVE to work outside the home and even if they do this by choice instead of necessity, it doesn't mean their children are automatically neglected or loved any less. This may shock Pride and her ilk, but there is more than way to make a family work and a woman's role is not set in stone. Whatever you do, do in the name of God and the rest will follow.
If you're a burned out woman who forgets what worth the home has, this book may help you. However, if you're a staunch family planner or have had an abortion in the past, I don't recommend you read this, as Pride's harsh tone will probably do little to help you.
A Must-Read for Christian Women.......2005-11-27
This book should be required reading for every Christian woman. Mrs. Pride exposes the goals of the feminist movement and points out how many Christian women are furthering those goals. She demonstrates how our current (anti-Biblical) societal norms are destructive to family, and thus to society. Mrs. Pride's claims are well-documented. If you want to remain complacently in your comfort zone, fitting neatly into the world, then leave this book on the shelf. If, on the other hand, your desire is to please God and bring glory to the Saviour by being "not conformed to this world," then let this text transform your mind by its application of Scripture.
ugh.......2005-01-12
my my...not one but TWO family reviews on Amazon. I always get suspicious when amidst many negative to average reviews one finds a glowing review clearly written by family members or people known to have very close ties to the author. it is good that Ms Prides children think so highly of her. HOWEVER that does not erase the fact that her book is loaded with error. she takes a basic fact: she discovered that happiness was not a fruit of radical feminism. then she does such a complete 180. she makes many many things that are not absolutes by any means into absolutes. she turns things that are nothing more than personal choice (although dont EVEN get me going on home birth...as I personally know someone whose life was shattered by a home birth gone wrong I just cringe to see someone spiritualize it as "Gods way") into major issues that I doubt that god even cares about (although Satan sure loves the strife stirred up whenever a new "rule" is created in Christendom to entrap Gods followers). re: the full quiver mindset. I have researched it rather thoroughly and I think they make some huge leaps, making scripture say something is not. I have heard the "children are blessings and who would refuse Gods blessings" so many times I could scream. yet the argument could go both ways: many people DO refuse things that could be blessings, taht are stated in scripture to be blessings because int heir situation right now it wouldnt be a blessing. I have heard the "so and so wouldnt be here if their parents hadnt used birth control argument". well, two words for that: Ethel Waters, the gospel singer concieved by rape. Gods ways are beyond our ways and He can bring good out of bad. if the Wesleys would not be here if Susannah used birth control, Ethel Waters would not be here if it were not for the act of rape. and I dont see anyone calling rape good even if good came out of it.....ditto just about any adopted kid...to follow this line of reasoning of the Prides etc...you would have to say that God wanted unmarried parents to fornicate so that they would bring so and so into the world....some things are just beyond our understanding and disecction and I think thats the way God wants it. the church history argument doesnt cut it because there are many things, anti semitism springs to mind, that have had much support in church history that are absolute lies when argued biblically. much of this radical lifestyle that not just Ms Pride but others like her promote is reaction to the culture rather than real scriptural argument. it is said you can prove anything from the bible and this is no exeption. as for the working mother issue: until the industrial revolution the whole idea of "jobs" for male OR female was different. out of neccessity there was a clear division of labor. somewhere in there careerism for both men AND women assumed a very different meaning than providing for their families. two hundred years ago people didnt even think about their work being stimulating or using their gifts. everyone did hard heavy manual grunt work whether in or out of the home. except for a handful of elitist intellectuals. who would covet the others role? no one, I would bet. unless you escape to join the amish or soemthing (an ideal held by a lot of these types..they seem to worship the amish and groups like them) you cannot escape that our world operates very differently than that of two hundred years ago. it is key to remember that both then and now our world is fallen...trying to go back and immitate another time and place wil not erase the fallenness that permeates society. our world has not and never will be a perfect reflection of Gods kingdom. bringing us to working moms: there were no "outside the home working moms" two hundred years ago BUT these mothers lives were most certainly not filled with child nurturing activities day in and day out. much of it was hard manual labor. children were granted a freedom to wander around and do thier own thing in a way that would make most parents today cringe. I am not saying bad or good: it just was. but the point is that their mothers days were not filled iwth "mothering", they were too busy doing laundry by hand, growing food, making bread from very scratch, making all their clothes etc etc. even todays homestead movement glorifies this and does a few of these things in a dilettantish way to express thier disdain for modern society but the reality is these peoples lives were harder than any person living in todays america can even imagine. Ms Pride attempts to "fix" modern family ills by returning to a simpler (or so she sees) time then filling in the blanks with proof texted scripture to try and prove her point. she gets incredibly legalistic with this working at home vs at a job business. by her standards if say, a woman was a graphic designer and had her business in her home she would be doing it "gods way", but if she had to rent a separate office space and hire a babysitter or (God forbid) swing shift with her husband then she would be rebelling against God. this reminds me of people debating around about hem lenght nad just "how much" makeup God has a problem with. the whole working mother debate really should hinge on where someoens heart is...what is their priority>(something I might add goes for men as well as women: workaholism is very detrimental) i have seen this type of mindset as Ms Pride has encourage a man to put himself in an early grave (not to mention have nothing to do with his kids but provide a paycheck) all so that the wife doesnt "have to work"; unless of cousre her skills run towards hawking tupperware or discovery toys. I have seen, as a fruit of this type of thinking people getting incredibly legalistic over what exactly constitutes a working mother in rebellion and what constitutes an obedient stay at home wife. somehow I dont think htis is what god had in mind. I might echo here too reviewers who find Ms PRides whole tone to be angry, condescending and nasty towards those who dont see things the way she does. it is sadly something I have found to be very very common among people who hold her viewpoints. and for my final complaints about making lifestyle choices which apparently worked for her and her family out to be Gods truth for all I have two words: Andrea Yates. I have to wonder if along with all the happy folks coming up to the Prides at homeschool conventions they can also count Russell and Andrea among those who can say that thier lives were irrevocably influenced by Mary's writings.
Did Mary hurt the feminists' feelings?.......2004-12-23
Some people are only "open-minded" when it comes to views that mesh with their worldview. That's what's going on in some of the previous reviews. For my part, I agree with the message that Mary Pride is teaching, and I admire that she's been able to accomplish what she has accomplished while performing her Biblically-defined duties as a wife and mother.
I think that feminism rejects Biblical standards and, as a result, has left many ruined lives in its wake. "Families maintained by women with no husband present increased three times as fast as married-couple families in the past 10 years." This is occurring as "Between 1994 and 2002 the number of felony convictions increased 20% in State courts." Tell me that changes in our family structure have not brought about negative results!
I am a 33 year old reformed feminist. I'm a college graduate, like some feminist reviewer here bragged about being. In fact, I graduated summa cum laude. Since I've figured out that I need to adopt God's chosen role for me, I've married and become a SAHM. And I've never been happier, even when I was earning a large annual income.
I'm a little confused over statements that women have always worked outside the home. On what planet? "Before the First World War, a non-working wife was the norm as wives devoted themselves to the comfort of husbands and children." "Women working in the 1800's were virtually unheard of".
I am grateful for women like Mary Pride, who tell it like they see it. I don't expect to agree with everything she says, and feel that if you read a book expecting it to affirm your values, then maybe you should only read books written by yourself? Basically, this woman is giving her viewpoint on a subject that can get quite touchy, and she's being denigrated by people who don't agree with her viewpoint. Never mind that it's well-argued and totally affirmed by what I've read in the Bible.
I think that's where the problem is! People who have rejected Biblical principles are reading this book expecting its opinions confirm their worldview. Not possible, I'm afraid. It boils down to this: You think that feminism has enabled you to choose to stay home with your kids. I (and I think Mrs. Pride) believe that I am able to stay with my daughter DESPITE what feminism tells me I should want. Sorry, but my husband is the only one acting like a man in this household, and that's how my daughter and I like it.
Amazon.com
Young women are the unhappy victims of their mothers' generation's feminism, says Danielle Crittenden in What Our Mothers Didn't Tell Us. Though they usually don't realize it, feminism has "seeped into their minds like intravenous saline into the arm of an unconscious patient." Crittenden says that feminism doesn't provide answers for the questions that distress young women, such as, "Is work really more important and fulfilling than raising my children?" and "Why does my boyfriend not want to get married as much as I do?" The modern dilemma, she says, is that the success of feminism has cut women off from those aspects of life that are distinctly female desires, such as being a wife and raising children. Crittenden wants us to take a step back from sexual freedom (which she says ends up harming the woman, who gets used and dumped), career (only a tiny minority have stimulating, gratifying jobs), and zealous personal autonomy (often an indication of being too fearful and weak to take on responsibilities), in favor of commitment, marriage, and child rearing. She argues that feminist fervor has failed modern women, and gives her suggestions for how women can recapture meaning, fulfillment, and happiness. --Joan Price
Book Description
Talk to women under forty today, and you will hear that in spite of the fact that they have achieved goals previous generations of women could only dream of, they nonetheless feel more confused and insecure than ever. What has gone wrong? What can be done to set it right?
These are the questions Danielle Crittenden answers in What Our Mothers Didn't Tell Us. She examines the foremost issues in women's lives -- sex, marriage, motherhood, work, aging, and politics -- and argues that a generation of women has been misled: taught to blame men and pursue independence at all costs. Happiness is obtainable, Crittenden says, but only if women will free their minds from outdated feminist attitudes.
By drawing on her own experience and a decade of research and analysis of modern female life, Crittenden passionately and engagingly tackles the myths that keep women from realizing the happiness they deserve. And she introduces a new way of thinking about society's problems that may, at long last, help women achieve the lives they desire.
Customer Reviews:
The stereotypical and strictly biological dead-end fate of being a woman.......2007-08-27
An unsophisticated analysis of women as simple, one-dimensional creatures who lack complexities or uniqueness entirely. In fact, we shall think of ourselves and our united fate in terms of biology alone.
What Our Grandmothers Didn't Tell Us: Why Happiness Eluded the 1950s Woman
Ms. Crittenden (or, I assume Mrs.) makes the assumption that because therapy, antidepressants, and divorce were not as acceptable to 1950s society, and thereby not utilized at any alarming rate, women were fulfilled being married mothers. I pity any woman or man who feels that her or his own lifestyle and beliefs are OSFA. That is the thought process of a child; egocentric and underdeveloped.
Insightful look at the social wreckage left in the wake of Feminism.......2007-08-21
Danielle Crittenden has written a good analysis of why Feminism's promise of happiness for women has turned out to be a sour one. Some points need raising though. Do we really expect men, who've been brought up on equality and the idea of both partners contributing to change their lifestyles willy-nilly just to accommodate those who've realised they made a mistake? The numbers of stereotypical you-stay-at-home-with-the-kids-while-I-work men has fallen dramatically in the First World as men realise the extra burden this places on their lives. We men will forever be grateful to Feminism for helping to distribute the burden more equally on the shoulders of men and women, even if they've only redistributed the best jobs, while leaving all the worst jobs still on men's shoulders. I can't see any large-scale return by men to the way things were. Now that American women with the same education and experience who work the same number of hours are earning more than men [ASIN:0814472109 Why Men Earn More: The Startling Truth Behind the Pay Gap -- and What Women Can Do About It (by Warren Farrell)], men would be morally justified in Mrs Crittenden's world to demand increases in salary over women's to cover the extra costs which the career women who are their job competitors wouldn't have unless they were paying for their children AND husband to stay at home. Ultimately, I'm sure all reviewers here want to live in a world where men and women can both have a choice as to whether to stay at home or work, but once again the chances of true equality seem remote. How many women do you know who would be happy to work full-time permanently supporting a husband and kids at home until they've finished college or left school? Yet until that day arrives, we can't come close to speaking of equality.
I literally took her advice ..........2007-07-25
I read this book as an undergrad and was very impressed. I thought Crittenden's ideas made terrific sense and I literally applied them to my own life, having been in the fortunate position of knowing I would marry my university boyfriend. At 23 I gave birth to our son, and at 26 our daughter. (I am 5 years out of college and am now 27.) Young parenting had been very gratifying for us both and we do not miss the party scene one bit. Life has meaning and direction. Career wise, and hence money wise, however, life is more complicated. For example, my husband is currently pursuing his MBA and I needed to become the family provider this past year. Interviewing was a nightmare. People in HR were shocked to hear that I had focused the last 5 years on raising children, despite my also having worked in between the two pregnancies, and were similarly uncomfortable with placing someone with my age and level of education in a close-to-entry-level position. Also, in addition to money having been tight, socializing has also been far from a picnic. Couples even close to our age with children (especially in Manhattan) are zero to none. So, a caution for the wise: Crittenden's excellent suggestions for feminine self fulfillment work in an ideal world that was never subject to feminism's widespread and hyper-radical influences. Indeed, that entire idea about having children first and then dedicating more time to an uninterrupted career as the children simultaneously crave more independence .... I'll have to get back to you in five more years and let you know...
A clear statement of what I've known all along ..........2006-10-10
An all-around excellent book and a breath of fresh air in the 'mommy wars'. Crittenden has managed to put into clear words what I've always felt, experienced and understood as a 40-something, liberal, educated woman but had trouble articulating: 1)That women CAN have everything -- career, marriage, family life -- just not all at the same time; 2) that a sexual double-standard still exists despite a culture awash in sexual exhibitionism, and this toxic combination hurts everyone; 3) That men are not the enemy; and 4) raising your children is important and valuable work and many women actually WANT to stay home with their children and this should not be considered insane, unreasonable, or treasonous.
IMHO this is truly not an anti-feminist book, it's a common-sense one that takes a hard look at physical, mental, and social realities that exist in today's world. Obviously, my world view and that of the author coincide, but I'd recommend this to any American woman -- especially one with daughters -- and hope she'd keep an open mind.
For some women, this book is very valuable.......2006-09-25
I understand there are people who do not like this book. However, there are also many women who would have benefitted from reading something like this a long time ago. I personally know many women who are single in their 30s and it is primarily due to the fact that they were taught at a young age that all they need is themselves and any dependency on men is weak and/or pathetic. I hear "He wants to get married, but marriage is such a bad deal for women". These women pretty much all want children and the guys they date are great. So, what's the problem? Many of us grew up with pressure to NOT become a wife/mother. Many of us had mothers who joked (negatively) about "housewives." I should also add for this review that my experience is mostly with middle-upper-middle class, college educated, liberal people.
This author suggests that women think earlier about marriage/having children and some think her advice is "unrealistic." It's not. I did it, am 31, and totally done with the baby thing. My oldest is already in elem. school. For most college degrees, you can complete college by age 22. That is plenty early to have a family young and have a degree waiting for when you want/need to use it. You do need to live a relatively simple life tho. You aren't going to be able to afford the top of the line car, house and vacations if you follow her advice. There are trade offs, but it is certainly not "unrealistic" advice.
As a 30 something, I also see men of my generation with very different expectations than our father's had. Our fathers grew up expecting that they would have to support familes. In my generation, men grew up expecting women would work. So, when women now have babies and decide they really want to be home after all, the men are blindsided. Some refuse to support their families. The women are surprised they want to stay home too! And maybe the women really can't because they are used to a lifestyle they can't afford on one income. I think we shock ourselves because what we always thought we wanted sometimes changes after we become parents. Sometimes those more traditional roles start looking more appealing. But, for some reason we feel we are doing something "bad" by following traditional gender roles.
The bottom line is that we need to educate our daughters realistically about the choices we have to make when we are young. What type of people we want to marry/date. People have to think about what they really want out of life and look for a partner who shares those values. However, some women in the last 30 years have been told to push out feelings of family/marriage as it is "pathetic" or "old fashioned." Men have also learned this and think that this is how women think. If they hold "old fashioned" ideas of marriage/family, they are great fodder for mockery by their female peers. They walk on eggshells making sure they don't do anything "offensive" to a woman's independence. Ask questions before you get married about family/children/expectations. Trust your gut. If you really want to be a wife/mother more than anything else..be sure you look for a guy who supports that and has similar values. They are getting harder to find. Not impossible, but make sure you discuss it before getting too attached. You may find the guy you are dating has no plans for you to be home more than 6 weeks after any future babies are born.
Book Description
In
The Beauty Myth the fearless Naomi Wolf revolutionized the way we think about beauty. In
Misconceptions, she demythologizes motherhood and reveals the dangers of common assumptions about childbirth. With uncompromising honesty she describes how hormones eroded her sense of independence, ultrasounds tested her commitment to abortion rights, and the keepers of the OB/GYN establishment lacked compassion. The weeks after her first daughter’s birth taught her how society, employers, and even husbands can manipulate new mothers. She had bewildering post partum depression, but learned that a surprisingly high.percentage of women experience it.
Wolf’s courageous willingness to talk about the unexpected difficulties of childbirth will help every woman become a more knowledgeable planner of her pregnancy and better prepare her for the challenges of balancing a career, freedom, and a growing family. Invaluable in its advice to parents,
Misconceptions speaks to anyone connected–personally, medically, or professionally–to a new mother.
Customer Reviews:
OPENED MY EYES.......2007-09-20
If you're pregnant and don't care if your ob/gyn pumps you full of meds and performs an episiotomy on you and/or a c-section in order to better fit your baby's birth into his busy schedule, then don't read this book. My wife is probably as far from being a rabid feminist as a person can be. But she does happen to have this wacky idea that giving birth ought to be something a woman can do without a whole lot of unnecessary medical interventions, if she wants to. My wife has given birth naturally to all 3 of our kids -- no problems whatsoever for either mom or babies. And every time she's had to fight off the ob/gyn's suggested interventions. Interventions she might not have been able to argue against had she not read Naomi's book and other resources and educated herself about the American medical establishment's typical ob/gyn practices. To blow off this book as a lot of feminist hooey is akin to plugging your ears, covering your eyes and ranting NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA...I CAN'T HEAR YOU! Read this book, get informed and then make up your own mind as to how you want to approach your own berthing experience.
Fabulous reporting, no whining to be found .......2007-08-28
Hopefully, you've reached this review, because to read some of the other reviews on this page you might dismiss Naomi Wolf "Misconceptions." This book is a wonderful piece of reporting on the issues surrounding pregnancy, fertility, birth, and the issues that come after birth (no pun intended) for the women in this country. Although, some of the experiences described are uncomfortable and upsetting, it does not make the experiences any less true. All mothers either have had an experience or know a woman who has had an experience similar to the experiences described in this book. To report on these truths (which, by the way, doesn't mean she is reporting the truth for "all" women), is the first step toward remedying the problems.
The truth is that there ARE issues with OB/GYN and postpartum healthcare in this country. You need not look any further than your front page to know that something is wrong. In Pennsylvania, for example, the OB/GYN practices can not stay afloat because the practices can not pay the malpractice insurance. As well, the insurance companies refuse to pay the full cost for a woman's labor and delivery in hospitals. I repeat. Insurance companies will not pay the full cost for one of the most important hospital stays that a woman may ever have in her life, a hospital stay that is required for the propagation of the species and the insurance companies will not pay it. Does this sound like a problem to you?
It certainly isn't new reporting that the medical community sometimes takes the "easy" way out when it comes to women's medical issues. Thankfully, things have started to change, but we are not there yet. Reading this book will give a new mother a "leg-up" on what has been happening in these new areas of her life. Isn't better to arm a new mother with information before she gets started in the process so she can have a say in what happens during HER reproductive life?
By the way, the whole section on "Calling It Fair" is right on the money. The research on day-care during the time of "Rosy the Riveter" is fantastic - I would like to see a book on that topic alone! These gems give women a great perspective to change things for themselves from the beginning! Don't miss a great eye-opener and, hopefully, a catalyst for change.
Great, but a little pessimistic.......2007-06-02
This book is great if you have never spent any time learning about how backwards the US medical establishment is concerning birth. Compared to (literally) the rest of the world, we are far behind in the level of care. What we call the "standard of care" is, in the case of most normal births, not good for mom or baby. This book tells that story. BUT. It is quite negative, and to read this book, you'll think its impossible to have a positive and SAFE birth in a US hospital. It IS possible to do so-- once you are well informed regarding which pieces of the standard of care pose a risk to mom and baby and/or exist merely for the convenience of the doctor or nursing staff. I highly recommend this book, so long as it is read cautiously and with an eye toward giving yourself a positive birth experience.
Contrary to my expectations ..........2007-05-15
I found this book in the Goodwill store and brought it home to read. I have only read one of Naomi Wolf's books (the one about the Treehouse) and have heard of her before, so I thought I would be in for a read. Little did I know that I would be in for a good read. It is controversial. It is stimulating. There are a lot of "ah ha" moments where I found myself nodding my head. There are quite a few moments where I was skeptical and found myself asking friends and family about their birthing moments and hospital stays. I even found myself rolling my eyes when she started talking about misplaced expectations about the birthing moments. Then I found myself counting my lucky stars that I am one of the very few women whose husband actually does help around the house with housework and taking care of the kids. While I am a stay-at-home mom, I do not feel demeaned in any way that I am just a mom at home ~~ no, I feel like a valued partner in a marriage that works. But that's not the point here!
I did have a hard time reconciling myself with the whole hospital institutional experience that she dwelled on for several chapters. Maybe it's luck. Maybe it's just my ignorance. I had excellent care while pregnant and I honestly was high risk since I was carrying twins. I was told upfront that chances are 50-50 that I would have a c-section. I delivered at 32 weeks. I didn't get the beautiful hospital room but I know that just about all of my friends have given birth in gorgeous rooms (even though they are hospital rooms, but they offer a lot more privacy than regular hospital rooms!). As for the high rate of c-sections, episiotomies, or anything like that ~~ I have no experience with statistics on these facts. It does seem to me to be more likely but I am not sure of what I think of that!
There are quite a few moments where I found myself relating to her experiences. Then again, there are times when I am amazed that she felt so different with her c-section than I did ~~ my problems were different than hers and yet, she struggled with her issues just like I did, just in different ways. There was not a doubt in my mind that I wasn't going to go back to work for several years so I was ok with staying home; whereas she struggled with it since she found out she was pregnant. Or her friends struggled with that issue, among others.
This is definitely a thought-provoking book. I wasn't expecting an array of emotions just from reading this book, nor was I expecting to poll my friends asking them if they've read this book. Nor was I expecting to feel guilty that I am one of those women who had a c-section ~~ though in my case, I didn't have much of a choice if I wanted to deliver healthy babies ~~ and they were breech as well. This book stirred up emotions, thoughts and ideas. It's been awhile since I've read something that hits rather close to home and so fascinating as well ~~ it made me wish that I had picked this book up several years ago before my twins were born! Now I wonder just how much have things changed since the first publication of this book.
If you like intellectual books that make you think, this book will definitely fit that bill. Yes, it does come across as whining in places but is it really whining or just stating facts? Isn't being a mother hard enough as it is without having to have others dismiss this book just as a typical whiner's book? We all deal with our issues in different ways and this book is definitely one that makes me think more as a reader and as a mother. It's worth exploring.
5-14-07
awful.......2006-08-31
This book is so whiny and self-indulgent that I am amazed that Wolf is actually a mother of two kids. It paints an unnecessarily bleak picture of pregnancy and motherhood, which are nowhere near as bad as she makes it out to be. The doctors and nurses and La Leche League and everyone else she complains about in this book are not out to get you, everyone is just trying to do their job the best way they can.
Book Description
Co-winner of the American Political Science Association's 1990 Victoria Schuck Award, given for the best book(s) published in 1989 on women and politics, this is the first feminist critique of modern political theory that in shows why and how in order to include all of us, theories of justice need to apply their standards to the family itself.
Customer Reviews:
One of the most influential books i've read.......2004-05-30
A great thought provoking and stimulating work of deconstructing the division of labor between the sexes. Includes sound arguments and should be a required text in college to expose more individuals to the harmful effects of inequality on women, children, and men.
A Rethinking of Justice.......2003-04-30
Okin is powerful because she extends considerations of justice and civic equality to women and the family in ways that classical and modern political philosphers have not. However, in doing so, she saves and extracts vital elements of these patriarchal theories and traditions to expose their radical potential.
Disappointing.......2002-12-19
This book addresses the inequality of men and women, and there is a problem, but it fails in many respects. First, I find her uses of sources suspect because of her treatment of Homer and the Greek authors. In the Odyessy, Odysseus' desire is to return to hearth, home, and family. Only on Circe's isle did he stay willingly, and then, through bewitching. Most of the female characters are portrayed in a kind light, whatever their flaws. This is so much so that many have thought it written by a woman! However, in her version, Odysseus stayed away deliberately after the Trojan war. This is but one example. The Greeks were hardly models to follow for cherishing women (quite the opposite), but since there are other titles from which she could make her case, and she spends a considerable amount of her Greek time here, it tells me that despite her statements, she's never read most of them and certainly not the Odyessy. Since I am convinced that she's never read the book, or that if she has, she read her personal views into the text in a way that is inexcusable, I find her usage of all sources suspect.
My second problem is that her proposed solution to inequality undermines the same personal freedoms she wants. If the government steps in and dictates personal life and finances to the degree she proposes, the people are not living in a free society, but a dictatorship. For instance, should the government step in on a family's paycheck and dictate how it is divided between members of the household? Not if one believes in private property. Her proposal to bring freedom for women brings instead a tyrannical government without personal freedoms.
Equality between men and women is a laudable goal, but one must look elsewhere for the solution. The approach proposed in the book is counterproductive, and being given in the name of freedom and justice, hypocritical. Before the reader assumes that I'm just a sexist, know that I believe in the absolute equality of men and women in thought and the workplace and have stood for it on many occasions. However due to the nature of this book's propositions, I will oppose them with the same force wiith which Bush wants an immoral war with Iraq.
Amazon.com
Our culture betrays women. And mothers, to be good mothers, must betray their daughters. It is this tragic norm that Marie Wilson and Idelisse Malave, president and vice president respectively of the Ms. Foundation, and Elizabeth Debold, a member of the Harvard Project, question. Though perhaps no longer revolutionary, their text still presents a vital and revitalizing agenda, 0ffering ways to transform the typical cycles of betrayal and to resist such unnecessary losses as those of voice, freedom, and the power to act. Debold, Wilson, and Malave turn many precious cultural biases and beliefs upside down-- "rugged individualism," for example, is scrapped in favor of interdependence. The belief that separation from the mother is a normal developmental step is firmly cast aside.
Written originally in 1993, Mother Daughter Revolution takes as its foundation the findings that came out of the Harvard Project on Women's Psychology and Girls' Development under psychologist Carol Gilligan. The core of that study could be summed up with the question: Why, at the onset of adolescence, does the self-esteem of girls plummet? The authors expand on Gilligan's valuable and still timely "wall" theory. That is, at adolescence, young girls come up, clashingly, against how they're perceived by the dominant culture--largely in terms of their sexual and reproductive value. To get through this "wall," girls must sacrifice parts of themselves in order to be accepted and protected by society. At great cost. Mothers, ironically, usher girls through the wall of self betrayal. And the three most loudly voiced complaints by girls about their mothers reflect that betrayal--that they're not dealt with fairly; not truly loved for being themselves; not trusted with the truth. The "authentic self" of daughters is driven underground.
These are hard and heartbreaking insights which 30 years of feminism's second wave has not changed. Interviews with adolescent girls, memoir fragments offered by the authors, and stories shared by such well-known writers as, for example, Maxine Hong Kingston illustrate the social phenomenon. Don't be fooled. This is not a rant so much as a prescription for uncovering, defining, and nurturing the love between mothers and daughters. Paradoxically, adolescent girls find more of the world open to them, while at the same time experiencing a deep distress. "Eating disorders and teenage pregnancy, once associated with opposite ends of the social class spectrum, are more prevalent among girls of all classes and all races than ever before." These insights and prescriptions, organized and given voice by three committed feminists, are offered with lucidity and passion, in the spirit of social transformation.
Book Description
As the daughters of baby boomer moms approach womanhood the questions begin. Will I teach my daughter the right things? How do I correct the mistakes my mother made with me?
Mother Daughter Revolution: From Betrayal to Power addresses all the issues that a mother guiding a budding woman could possibly need to know about. Authors Elizabeth Debold, Marie Wilson, and Idelisse Malave approach these dilemmas as would any other mother who is concerned with the survival of her daughter in a male-dominant society would. This book centers on women's attempts to build trusting relationships with their daughters. The foundation of this trust is based on removing the feeling of betrayal that develops when daughters feel that their mothers have not prepared them for the earthshaking changes they experience during adolescence. Lack of preparation for these changes leads to a lack of confidence and an inability to deal with competition.
Mother Daughter Revolution is written in a problem and solution style and describes the path from adolescence to womanhood through identifiable stories and anecdotes. Many mothers recount stories of being told by their mothers to "be nice" because "nice girls get married and get good things." Well, these new mothers opt to tell their daughters that being nice is not always an option, especially if "being nice" infringes upon their rights.
Customer Reviews:
A Must read for all women.......2007-01-24
This is one of the most important books of our time right now. It addresses all that matters to women and girls and their relationships with each other. If ALL women read this we could have a complete and wonderful revolution.
A Must Read for Mothers and Daughters.......1999-08-22
Mother/Daughter Revolution should be standard issue - given along with baby's birth certificate - to any woman in this country who gives birth to a female child. It is that good. Drawing on numerous studies and sources, Mother/Daughter Revolution details the sudden drop in self esteem which girls in our culture experience as they approach adolescence, and the myriad of ways in which this is expressed. It also examines the underlying societal flaws which allow this to occur and the societal situations in previous generations which led to the current state of events. Many books have done the same, including "Reviving Ophelia" by Mary Pipher and "Raising a Daughter" by Ellium and Ellium. Where Mother/Daughter Revolution departs from these books (which are also must-reads) is in it's hands on analysis of how mothers can de-code the messages they recieved at the hands of their cultural mileu and how they can then join their daughters in resisting the influences of the patriarchy that seeks to deprive them of their essential selves. It describes the Mother/Daughter conflict in a new way, a way that circumvents all the psycho-babble about identity and the necessity of a girl child divorcing herself from her mother - and presents a new paradigm for being a mother and a daughter in this culture. When Mothers and Daughters become aware of the influences which seek to tear them from their main source of support (each other) they can work to become empowered, so the bond between them can help the daughter grow to maturity with her mother beside her, instead of growing to what society teaches women to expect - an adolescence where the daughter and the mother are constantly at war, with neither one emerging unscathed.
A must-read for anyone who cares about tomorrow!.......1999-06-16
Swell illustration of why so many teenage girls suffer losses in self-esteem as they get older. Shows that this can be prevented & is a "can-do" book, not a "girls as victims" books. Delves into the world of teenage girls & the challenges they face as they grow up & struggle to remain whole human beings. I do have to say, though, in the chapter about how beauty is used is women's false "power", using the Baby-Sitters' Club series as an example, especially the one about Mary Anne's haircut, was a poor example. Mary Anne gets the haircut & realizes that people react differently to her, BUT in the end of the book described in here, Mary Anne does come to realize that beauty is only a fleeting, superficial goal(especially since she's not very pretty, but is very bright) & comes back to earth quickly( especially when her boyfriend gets jealous & makes her cry!). The Baby-Sitters' Club series would be better used as an example of resistance to the status quo, as the girls in that book remain connected to each other & refuse to fall into the "chronic victim" mode despite peer pressure & haircuts & all. This book would have done better to praise the BSC, rather than criticize the series. If the authors wanted to use an example of negative images of girls, they should have gone after another series "The Fabulous Five" by Betsy Haynes. Now THERE was a series that used girls' appearances as "bartering" tools. Many of the girls in the "Fabulous Five" were not only appearance-obsessed, but too focused on what the boys wanted, & often were pitted against each other in competition for male approval. Otherwise, this book is very vivid & a strong guide for both mothers AND daughters.
Book Description
Kate OÂ'Beirne is fed up with women who make the world worse.
Fueled by their persecution fantasies, modern feminists have been calling for radical social engineering to eliminate any differences between the sexes. They insist that any sex differences are the result of social construction, not biology. So they want boys and men to be reprogrammed and treated for their “pathology.”
Many of these women are public figures who use their notoriety in acting, pop music, television, or politics to spout unfounded bad ideas and harebrained schemes: Jane Fonda, Whoopi Goldberg, Hillary Clinton, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Maureen Dowd, and many more.
Kate OÂ'Beirne captures the radical feminists in their own words, explains why theyÂ've got it all wrong, and shows why they have to be stopped—before they do even more damage to our schools, families, workplaces, and sports. BACKCOVER: “Anyone still operating under the delusion that Â`feministÂ' is synonymous with Â`pro-womanÂ' should find this [book] a useful reality check.”
—The Wall Street Journal
“Thank you, Kate OÂ'Beirne! With wit and smarts she drives a stake through the heart of radical feminism, naming names, and takes down the modern sisterhood in a fearless, funny, and factual way. And itÂ's long overdue. Know your enemy. Buy this gutsy book!”
—Rush Limbaugh
“What a romp of a book. Funny and smart and typical of the shrewd, informed analysis we relish from Kate OÂ'Beirne.”
—Peggy Noonan, author of John Paul the Great
“Once again, Kate OÂ'BeirneÂ's insights on politics and the culture make us think, laugh, and stand “up and cheer. Rolling back the influence of the false prophets of feminism and Â`grrrrrl powerÂ' takes facts, passion, and intellect—all of which we find in this important book.”
—Laura Ingraham, author of Shut Up & Sing
“Some women protest,Â`IÂ'm a feminist, just not a radical feminist.Â' Kate OÂ'Beirne is impatient with such qualifications. She is not any kind of feminist, and when you finish her sparkling new book, Women Who Make the World Worse, you wonÂ't be one either.”
—Mona Charen, syndicated columnist
“Women Who Make the World Worse is, to be sure, an entertaining, often humorous exposé of the modernist feminist movement, but at the same time, itÂ's a sober wake-up call.”
—David Limbaugh, syndicated columnist
“OÂ'Beirne brings wit and common sense to bear on the weird and rancorous world of orthodox feminismÂ… she has written a rousing, scintillating, and badly needed book.”
—Christina Hoff Sommers
Customer Reviews:
scary .......2007-10-09
When you realize the agenda behind the radical feminist movement and how much control they have in everything law, government,and politics, it is very scary and certainly does not represent women at all, but a very angry group of women who hate men and have a incredible hunger for power.They just are never satified and they have come a very long way so they should stop
all their whinning,it just gets so tiring to hear all the time. I for one consider myself a feminist, but certainly not aligned with this group that claims to represent women thank God!They have done more really to hurt true women then to help them.This book by the way is excellent.
Fantastic!.......2007-10-07
This book is very well written. Whether one agrees with the author or not, one has to appreciate the presentation of her arguments and the quotes and facts she uses to back them up.
So far I've laughed at all the other crazy reviews, they seem to only further back the author and her thesis!
I am a woman, and I am sick of these feminist.......2007-07-16
I am a woman, and I do not beleive I am inferior to man. However, there is physical differences. I would prefer the man and woman fire fighters be separated. Let the feminist have their own ladder company that serve their own neighborhood. I want to see how the rest of the world react to that. I would move out of the female firefighter serve neighborhood so fast that it will leave skid marks on the road. Let the male and female army serve separated, and see which one perform better. If females can and will perform at the same level as the man, by all mean, serve as they please. However, if the standards has to be lower to accommodate anyone, I would prefer to have the top guys to protect me instead of the mediocra feminist that relied heavily on the man. It is a really sad thing to be equal regardless of the ability of different gender.
Best Book of 2006!.......2007-07-15
Disregard the paranoid propaganda commentary above, "back to I Love Lucy". Radical feminists don't want you to think for yourselves. They want to teach your college students "The Vagina Monologues" and turn males in girls.
The best parts of this book concerns Title IX, why more females attend college than males. The book exposes Justice Ginsberg as a baby-hating radical from the ACLU. This is a book you're not supposed to read (a nod to the PIG books).
Readers of this should know about the online army of feminists who strategically trashed O'Beirne's book: "First of all I want to thank everyone who aided in the sacking of Kate O'Beirne's book Women Who Make the World Worse over at Amazon..."
You can locate that in a Google search for 'women who make world worse', it'll be the 8th hit on the Search Result page.
Makes a Few Good Points, But They are Widely Scattered.......2007-06-01
I was sorry to discover, upon reading this book, that my wife and I went about raising our daughter incorrectly. Had we known, I am sure we would have done things differently. After all, she is only first in her class in high school, athletic, well liked, respected and being courted by top colleges while still in her sophomore year. I suppose, if we followed this authors advice, she would have been a better person, although I fail to see how.
The author believes, strongly, that women should stay home from work to raise children, no matter what the cost. Since I was the one to stay home, as my wife earned about 40% more than I at the time, we were putting our daughter at risk. In addition, we put her at risk by putting her into a limited day care, even though my daughter enjoyed it and wanted to continue when we attempted to pull her out. The author makes it clear that we should have moved from our house to an apartment, and given up our standard of living to allow my wife to stay home and me to continue work. That would have been what was best for our daughter. There is not alternate method allowed in her world.
Then there is the issue of sexual discrimination, which does not occur according to this author. It can't occur, other than on a limited basis, because market forces would keep it from occurring. Companies need women, and if discrimination were happening, women would quit, which would leave companies understaffed. If that were the case, I guess when my wife was told, during a performance review, that all women belonged at home taking care of the children and not working in corporate America, she was hearing things. In the author's world, that didn't occur, and neither did the large settlement from the company after the manager's treatment of women employees was exposed.
I could go on, but I think you get the point. There is an old saying about lies, damned lies and statistics, and it fits this book well. Much of it is the author's own view, with little to substantiate the opinion. The author misses the point, for the most part, that all people are not the same and that one size does not fit all. It is fine that she wishes to lead her life in the fashion that she does, but she makes no allowance for others to lead theirs in a different manner. If they do, they will fail themselves, their children, etc.
The author does, on occasion, make valid points, but they are too few and too far apart to make the book a worthwhile read, unless you want to lead a life trapped in the 1950s. While I agree that the feminist movement has gone over the edge, they have also done a lot to move the country forward and there is no credit given for that work.
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- Guess How Much I Love You
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- Healing The Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families
- Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
- Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way
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General
| Women & Business
| Business & Investing
| Subjects
| Books
Mommy Wars: Stay-at-Home and Career Moms Face Off on Their Choices, Their Lives, Their Families
Opting Out?: Why Women Really Quit Careers and Head Home
The Feminine Mystique
I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids: Reinventing Modern Motherhood
Get to Work: A Manifesto for Women of the World
