Book Description
This book sets the standard for preparing prospective teachers to engage parents of children 0 to 8 in the challenging occupation of educating them. Covers all aspects of the subject, including past and current research, the challenges of working with minority and culturally-diverse families and families of children with disabilities, in-school and home-based programs, parent conferences, child abuse, advocacy, and the rights-and-responsibilities balance. Up-to-date coverage includes the most recent Census data (2000)>197>adressing changing demographics across the United States and their implications for all aspects of education; as well as recent changes in special education law. For educators and those studying to be educators.
Customer Reviews:
Only Swick's Book Is Better........2006-12-23
This book has everything from parent involvement to parent teacher conferencing to the very best history of parent education/involvement that I have EVER seen.
If you can't find any book by Kevin Swick, then get this one. Heck! Get 'em both! You can never do with enough ways to get parents involved with children during the early years.
A great step toward solid partnerships!.......2005-03-04
This book is comprehensive and easy to follow. It is useful for understanding the various perspectives of both teachers and families. I think it is essential for new teachers, as well as those who may feel the need to prioritize and start putting families and communication first!
[...]
Parents as Partners in Education.......2000-09-07
ME ENCANTARIA QUE ME DIJERAN COMO PUEDO CONSEGUIR UNA COPIA DE ESTE EJEMPLAR TAN INTERESANTE. SOY ESTUDIANTE DE MAESTRIA Y SE QUE ME SERVIRA DE GRAN AYUDA EN UN CURSO QUE ESTOY TOMANDO ESTE SEMESTRE.
GRACIAS MIL, CARLOS A. SILVA-RUIZ
This is a book for us all, families, teachers and students........1999-01-22
This is a very good book, it doesn't only focus on teachers but on parents and student as well. This book is easy to read, not heavy scientific language, and has very beautiful pictures. As a student and a mother I surely find everything I wish to read and know about "parents as partners in education". Thank you for a great book!
A comprehensive guide for all new teachers.......1998-12-18
This text supplies new teachers with necessary information to understand the importance of parent involvement- "parents as partners"- in education.
Book Description
Why does talk in families so often go in circles, leaving us tied up in knots? In this illuminating book, Deborah Tannen, the linguist and and bestselling author of
You Just Don't Understand and many other books, reveals why talking to family members is so often painful and problematic even when we're all adults. Searching for signs of acceptance and belonging, we find signs of disapproval and rejection. Why do the seeds of family love so often yield a harvest of criticism and judgment? In
I Only Say This Because I Love You, Tannen shows how important it is, in family talk, to learn to separate word meanings, or messages, from heart meanings, or metamessages — unstated but powerful meanings that come from the history of our relationships and the way things are said. Presenting real conversations from people's lives, Tannen reveals what is actually going on in family talk, including how family conversations must balance the longing for connection with the desire for control, as we struggle to be close without giving up our freedom.
This eye-opening book explains why grown women so often feel criticized by their mothers; and why mothers feel they can't open their mouths around their grown daughters; why growing up male or female, or as an older or younger sibling, results in different experiences of family that persist throughout our lives; and much, much more. By helping us to understand and redefine family talk, Tannen provides the tools to improve relationships with family members of every age.
Customer Reviews:
You Need to read this Book!.......2007-09-13
Everyone with a family should read this book. It has excellent examples and you will recognize the conversations and situations because you have heard or participated in very similar communication fiascoes.
Extremely informative.......2006-06-27
I have used the information in this book to enhance my communication and relationship skills with my family and others I work with. I believe the book is worth the time reading!
I only Say This because i Love you.......2006-03-19
This makes a mother stop and isten to herself when she is talking to her adult daughter. Why does the daughter not like to visit her? Well, in this book may be the answer, the way the mother talks to her grown daughter. The book should go both ways in helping the daughter learn how to talk to her mother, who is wanting a close relationship to her grown daughter now. This is a very good book, one that can help people grow in their communications with each other.
Interesting.......2006-03-16
I found this book to be helpful in understanding some of the language that goes on between my family, to know we are not the only ones out there with problems in relating to each other.
really really really really good. really........2003-10-27
I cannot express how much this book has helped me understand what's going on in my family. A lot of arguments in my family center around who said what, how they said it, and why they said it. And Tannen provides almost all of the tools necessary for us to even think about reconciling.
This really is an enlightening book. What it does do, is explain what goes on in a particular aspect of any family - she explains how family arguments and conversations work, why some things are said but other left unsaid, and provides some suggestions and advice for going back and fixing some of those misunderstandings. She provides a really comprehensive overview of whole family setups, organizations, and tons of possible situations.
She doesn't say "here's how to fix your problems - they shall all be solved". She can't - she's not your own psychologist. But there is so much information to work with, that for a majority of families this will definitely provide a really good and solid basis for reconciling, and even allowing family members to start talking to each other civily again.
Tannen has done tons of research, and provides many examples from all types of families throughout the whole book - grandparents, partners, families with children, families without children, cross-culture families, etc.. I do have to completely agree with another reader that the examples Tannen gives could have been plucked straight from my life. I found one line in particular that could actually explain away years of misunderstanding between two whole branches of my family, myself included. It's also a very fast read - I read it through in just a few days, and I'm a slow reader.
If anyone in your family is even remotely having difficulties talking to others in your family, you should buy this book. I can't tell you how much it's helped me already. Had to buy two more copies of the book for other family members to "borrow".
Book Description
Did you have a parent whose love for you felt more confining than freeing, more demanding than giving, more instrusive than nurturing? Did you feel trapped in a "psychological marriage" with this parent? If so, you may be a victim of covert incest. Identification of this kind of incest is difficult, since covert incest victimrs often feel idealized and privileged, not violated and abused. In Silently Seduced, Dr. Adams, through illustrative case examples and perceptive insight, provides covert incest victims a framework to understand what happened to them, how their lives and relationships continue to be affected and how to begin the process of recovery.
Customer Reviews:
The Parent-child Dynamics of Covert Incest.......2006-12-14
I purchased this book to use clinically, however found it personally enlightening as well. It is fairly simple to read, but the message belies the book's easy readability. The book focuses on covert incest, as the title suggests, and will probably not be very beneficial for overt incest survivors seeking answers. A client of mine borrowed the book and reported that little pertained to her. This does not mean, however that the parent-child dynamics involved in covert incest can't also exist in a more physically/sexually abusive relationship. I recommend this book for clinicans and survivors.
Must reading, especially for addicts.......2006-02-25
This book certainly protrays the difficulties and impact on children haunted by covert incest. At 55 yrs. old, my life could have been soooo... much better if I had been diagnosed previously. Thanks very much to my therapist (3rd one I worked with) for identifying this issue for me. Amazon's search engine recommended this book immediately and I devoured its message. The 5th chapter will be presented at our area's Spring Retreat of S.A.A. this April. This book should be a must!!
a clear guideline .......2005-11-28
Wow, very impressive! I read it from cover to cover, in one sitting. Just could not put it down. It is written in a clear and concise manner. Almost every word seems well selected and carefully considered to support the theme of the whole book. Very convincing with powerful logic.
I have to admit when I was hesitant to order this book at the beginning. I thought, "What this says about me, if I need to read a book on this topic?" I felt uncomfortable to put myself in the category of covert incest victim.
Several things which are happening in my life, made me decide to take a try. My career has experienced a setback for several years. I have difficulty in establishing a great long term relationship. And most immediately, I have dreams of being angry at my parents. Those dreams rarely occur, but when they do, once or twice a year, I find my whole body tighten up in anger when I wake up. I ask myself, if I can be so angry about something I don't understand, why not spend some time to understand what exactly makes me so angry?
When the book arrived, I wrapped it up in a book cover to hide the name. I have to agree this is an uncomfortable topic and I do not want to be seen reading such a book in public.
But let me tell you, this is one of the most important books I have read in years. It is neatly organized:
First two chapters:
-What is the silent seduction?
-When is a child betrayed by a parent's love?
Introduce the concept of silent seduction and general pattern.
The next two chapters:
-The man of the house
-Daddy's little girl
Talk about the specific situations in case of a mother and a son, and a father and a daughter. The author uses different cases to address different areas. It is quite specific.
The following chapters:
-When does sex become a hiding place?
Discusses the impact on the victim's sexual feelings when the victim grows up.
-The struggle to Commit
Talk about the impact on relationships the victim will face as an adult
The last chapter:
-Towards Wholeness
A short but comforting guide towards healing.
When I was reading the first two chapters, I found myself nodding occasionally but suspicious. But when it got specific, my eyes grew wide, as I saw a step by step description of my life. It is as if the author had followed my life and summed it up in different cases. It is scary to see your life being so accurately depicted.
As it was very late (midnight), I went to sleep. And I was sad. The author reminds in the last chapter that when we let it go, we would feel sadness.
I turned back and forth on bed, feeling emptiness. The kind of emptiness you feel when you cannot find the purpose in life.
The book made a very important point, that when we were treated as special by our parents, often it is perceived as love from our parents, and we hang on to it as the only and most powerful love we have experienced, but actually it is not love, it is an expression of needs of our parents. We were there merely to satisfy the emotional needs of our parents. And our needs, when as little kids, were ignored.
Logically, I accepted this point. But emotionally, it was sad to recognize the single most powerful love in our life experience was not even love. It brought a question: what do we live for?
Since I could not sleep, I got up and started reading again.
The next chapter talks about sex addicts. I almost laughed, hey, this could not be about me. Out of curiosity, I did not skip it entirely. Wow, when my finger touched on the last page of this chapter, it turned out it was talking about me. It talks about the seeking of sexual highs, and the seductive patterns.
It exactly describes the experience I have been having in the last year. I reveled in the attention of many suitors. I seduced one after another. Of course, the seduction was very subtle. I behaved exactly like a lady, but secretly put the man of my seduction in anxiety to get me. It was like a power game. And I felt safe when powerful men fell for me. And I do not stay for any long term relationship. I just seduced and moved on. The reason why I never labeled myself as sex addict, was because actual sex seldom happened. The seduction was very sexually charged (with strong sexual energy), but I almost always moved on before the man could actually get me on bed.
I did not realize this was what I was doing until I read this book. I just did it unconsciously. For me, it was a game of fun and power to get back at men, and to make myself feel safe, treasured, chased and desirable. Upon this chapter, I began to realize, maybe, just maybe, it is the start of sexual and love addiction.
The chapter also talks about double life. It did make me laugh, because in my fantasy of success, I always added on a second life of sexual satisfaction. It is my ideal life to be a highly successful woman, with a colorful secret sex life. The thrill of having a secret dirty life against common convention seems so exciting and satisfying, against the background of success and social recognition.
This chapter makes me rethink my goal. Is my goal of success, really something I want, or is it a way to get back at my past so that I do not need to face my past? Is that a way to prove to my parents I grow up to be better than them, beyond their wildest expectations? Is this a way to prove myself I was not hurt by my parents, I grow over and above the hurtful past?
My career is in a setback for several years now. It happened very unexpectedly. When everyone expected me to become a great career woman, suddenly all motivation drained away from me. For several years, I just sat around, wanting to do nothing. In business meetings, though I knew I probably were the most qualified in giving out professional opinions (due to my qualification and educational background), I sat in a corner, demure and obscure. I do not understand why I hate to go out, getting what I deserve, and what the other people think I deserve. It is like I clipped my own wings intentionally.
It came to a point that I took a look at my past. I had been a wonder kid academically. I found whenever my academic future or career future opened up to a new height, somehow, on several important occasions, I just escaped the night (or months) before it happened. I undid the effort I put in for years, to avoid collecting the fruit of being much more successful than others.
Every time I did that, it was extremely painful for me afterwards. Guilt and confusion took over. It took years to build the base for success, and it took years to recover from the disappointment of escaping from success and make a comeback. It was like a cycle. Maybe it finally got to my spirit, and I started to associate the prospect of success, with the slow and deep pains from disappointment and fear of escaping again. So, in the end, I felt chasing success did not worth it any more.
In Ken Adams's book, it discusses the ambivalence of commitment to relationships. It is an extremely interesting chapter. From my personal point of view, I do see my own relationship surfacing from the pages, a quick commitment, an illusion of starting anew, followed by a slow stew of doubt, and the desire to get out.
I do wish this wonderful enlightening chapter could address more issues: not only commitment to relationships, but also commitment to goals and personal ambitions. Does the fear of abandonment drive us away not only from committing to intimacy, but also to allowing ourselves the success we deserve, work hard for, and deny ourselves for?
When it comes to the last chapter, it is comforting to see we are not hopeless. It talks about letting go of your idealized image of the seductive parent. Among the many thing I learn from reading this book, this is probably the most important. To realize what you cherish as the best love and the integral part of your childhood memory and what makes who you are today, is actually an unconscious seduction by your parent to realize his or her own need in an unhappy relationship. It is not about you, and never about you. And you miss the important development phase of recognizing your own needs, building your own character, wants and values as a human being. Chasing your parent's love is like chasing emptiness, something they never can give, and something which does not exist. The lack of it makes a strong emptiness in your heart, since you never learn how to live for yourself. That phase of development was stolen from you, by the need of your parents.
Naturally it is angry to recognize it. It feels like being betrayed by someone so close to your heart. I now partly understand why my dreams were so intense, where I screamed at my parents for their lack of love and their insistency of not seeing the error where it is. (In real life, I never accused my parents. I just cannot.)
The book talks about acknowledging your anger toward the seductive parent. And I agree it is very necessary. We need to see the reality the way it is, before we can come back to reality and come to terms with ourselves.
Is it necessary to make your parents acknowledge your anger and their grand mistake? From my experience, it is a no. Because they most likely will never acknowledge their mistake, and it will become a contest of wills. My grandmother was seriously abusive, (hehe, now I agree family issues pass from generation to generation), and my father was deeply hurt. But until her death, my Grandma never ever admitted her mistake, no matter how miserable she made her children's lives. It is unfortunate in an effort to be a better parent, my father turned out to be very much like my Grandma, even though in different ways. From my lesson, it is largely useless to confront your parents, making them admit their mistakes, since they will never ever able to see themselves in that light. They pride themselves as the best, most righteous people in the neighborhood. While that blind pride probably will make you very angry, because you know how much dirt is wiped under the family carpet, they live for that image.
But it is necessary to speak your voice, and set boundaries. (The book talks about: If your seductive parent is alive, begin to set boundaries and separate.) If you see something seriously wrong in your family, speak out.
During my brief visit to the parents' home the last time, my father consistently verbally abused my mom before me, saying she was stupid, short-sighted, silly woman, never can do a thing right, blah, blah. I finally could not take it any more and I confronted him alone while my mother was away.
He was so angry that I dared to speak like that to him. He screamed how badly he had been treated for years by my mom. I simply said, there is no way to treat even a stranger, the way you treat mom. No matter how bad she is, at least respect her as a human being in your words. Give her the respect she deserves as a person. And I stuck to this basic point. I did not argue what was right or wrong in their marriage, since that was beyond my ability to argue. My father nearly kicked me out of the home. (Hey, it is important to be economically independent, so when you are kicked out, you have a place to go).
In a few days, when I made the second visit back home, he calmed down and even respected me a little bit. Later, my mother told me he changed a little bit to become more accommodating. I do not know whether my confrontation ever worked, but it is rare to see a man like my father change even a little bit.
My experience is, even though I do not have guts to confront my parents directly about my childhood, start to set boundaries and address the family issues in simple, objective terms. Never take side and never be involved in a family political war, because there is no win for you. But address the serious and persistent wrongs happening in your family, in a simple, firm, objective view, to make the person who is aggressor realize it is wrong, and to make the person who is victim realize he or she is being wronged. Set an example of being assertive, and encourage each family member to stand up for him/herself and take responsibility in his/her life. Compassion is a good thing, but compassion can be misplaced and taken advantaged of.
The last chapter, the healing and the change, is in my view, one of the sweetest things to read in this book. It makes me stay hopeful and think of how to have a plan to address the issues. So, it is no surprise I wish this chapter can be longer, and more specific in how to set boundary and how to address the anger invariably arising when dealing with the pains.
Throughout the review, I repeatedly stress how close the cases in the book resembled my own life. And it surprised me a great deal to read the preface and find out the cases were not real life cases, but structured from the author's clinical practice.
Nonetheless, I agree the cases are very close to reality. It happened some of my close friends have serious problems with their families too.
A guy took to drinking to drown his frustration in dealing with his parents. His story was very similar to the cases in the book. Unfortunately, his anger was not recognized by any of his family members. Coming from a very traditional family background, every family member encouraged him to acquiesce to his parents no matter what. (It is valued as great family ethics to respect your parents, no matter what; and give them whatever they want, to feel like a good deserving child.) And it was exactly what I told him too when he came for my help. I said, "After all, it is your parents. Do you want them to feel unhappy as old man and woman?" In my words, I denied his right to be angry, just because he was the child and he had a duty to make his parents happy, especially since his parents were aging. It was several years ago. I wish I had read this book when he came for my help.
He was not the only friend who has this issue. I am certain there are many people out there who experienced similar issues. It is just that this is not supposed to be talked about among friends, or in public. My book cover is still shielding the book title, and you see, I do not want to use my real name in the review.
But, do yourself a favor. Buy and read this book, if you relate yourself to issues like this, or if you are like me, feeling angry and frustrated about yourself without knowing why. Your own childhood problems can spill over to your career, love life and your view on yourself, and potentially, your children. I wish I had read this book earlier. I would have viewed my family and myself more objectively, and also I would have started earlier to treat myself as an adult who takes responsibility for her life and decisions she makes in her life.
This book changed the way I look at my parents.......2005-09-05
I've been recovery for years but I did not realize how my relationship with my mother distorted my perception of my father and our family. This book has changed the way I relate to them both.
Silent and invisible.......2004-11-29
This book is an important addition to the collection of books out there that exist on sexual abuse. Even moreso are the examples of how a mother can be sexually abusive in covert ways unlike fathers who tend to manifest their abuse overtly. This book along with Pat Loves book, The Emotional Incest Syndrome, are the bible of Covert Incest.
It is easy to say covert incest does not exist since it is subtle, indirect and is about what you don't see, but the victims of this all feel it and it is very real!
Book Description
When it first appeared in 1992, this book became an instant must-read on the lists of new parents and family studies professionals alike. Its message is just as relevant, just as timely, and perhaps even more important today. As indicated in the new foreword, by John M. Gottman, and in the updates and new afterword provided by the authors, the transition to parenthood remains one of the most challenging periods in adulthood. Readers today will be rewarded, just as earlier readers have been, by the stories reported in the pages of this book and by the wise counsel of the authors who put those stories in context.
Customer Reviews:
A Must-Read for Couples Considering a Family.......2005-07-17
Despite the fact that this book is listed as a textbook and that it is a scientific study from the 70s, it is a delightful, insightful, and pertinent read for anyone considering having a family.
When I began thinking of kids, I was curious to know how it would affect me & my marriage. There are many books out there that talk about the woes of motherhood and how to be a good parent (and, trust me, I've read nearly all of them), but this is the only book I've read that deals with the changes parenthood has on a marriage. The Cowans clearly identify the types of decisions, relationships, and patterns that play into this change and how, as a couple, you can weather them. This book will really help couples visualize their future with kids-- I highly recommend it.
great book for parents & professionals alike.......2001-06-24
When Parents Become Partners does a wonderful job of being accessible to new parents and parents-to-be, while also providing well-researched information and recommendations for professionals who work with couples. Carolyn and Phil Cowan's research following a group of pregnant couples and a control group of couples who hadn't yet decided whether to have children is fascinating, and readers will certainly recognize themselves and their friends, family among the various "types" of couples that emerge. Given the enormous transition that takes place in a couples' relationship when a child is born, this book offers reassuring, realistic information about how to survive -- or help others survive -- the change.
must read for the reality of parenting.......2000-04-05
This book is a study of 100 couples from pregnancy through their child's kindergarten years. It really put in perspective the challenges that one must meet to maintain a relationship and raise a child. It is not a how-to book (thank god) but studies of real people dealing with life. The conclusions not astonishing but interesting and occasionally surprising. I had trouble making the transition from lover-wife to mother-lover-wife and this book helped me to feel that I was not alone! A footnote: This is a scientific study, complete with graphs and charts. Although it is not dry and quite an easy read, the format might turn some people off. I still loved it!
Book Description
With effective communication as its theme,
From Parent to Partner explores the reasons and basis for developing ongoing partnerships with parents and families of children in childcare settings and provides the tools and strategies to build the support network within which these partnerships thrive.
Customer Reviews:
Very Good.......2006-10-26
Keyser does a wonderful job of making the empowerment of parents a relatively smooth process for early childhood professionals...but the key is to ASSESS, PLAN, IMPLEMENT, and ASSESS again.
Excellent.
Average customer rating:
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Parents and Teachers as Partners: A Guide for Early Childhood Educators
Lynda C. Andre ,
Linda C. Andre , and
Mary K. Hawley
Manufacturer: Singular
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Accessories:
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Health o Meter HDC100-01 "Grow with Me" Teddy Bear Scale for Babies and Toddlers
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ASIN: 0155004832 |
Book Description
The difficulties faced by people with Asperger Syndrome (AS) cannot be underestimated, but the emotional problems experienced by those around them - partners, family and friends - are often overlooked. Focusing on what is referred to as the Cassandra phenomenon, where the neurotypical partner often needs more emotional guidance than the AS partner, this volume gathers together letters, thoughts and poems to give voice to the loneliness, frustration and love felt by many individuals who are close to one or more people with AS. This collection provides the emotional support, insight and understanding needed to deal with the emotions that AS evokes within close relationships.
FAAAS Inc. (Families of Adults Afflicted with Asperger's Syndrome) aims to offer support to the family members of adult individuals afflicted with Asperger's Syndrome.
Customer Reviews:
my help line.......2007-10-01
This book came to me when i was about to give up, no-one seemed to understand me or possibly believe me,it has highlighted so many areas.. the words, "is anyone listening" lets one feel that there is hope and that there are others out there in the same situation.Autism with asperger traits or aspergers alone,there is something for all who have a spouse with the syndrome.This book does give a voice to the frustrations and lonliness that we feel,also how our spouses feel,broadening our understanding and giving us more insight,a must read.
Don't waste your money on this one.......2007-02-28
Maybe I'm biased because I'm autistic myself, but I had to throw this book away after the poem where the author described being married to her autistic husband as being chained in a dungeon then the next article proceeded to describe a family's autistic son as probably the worst thing that had ever happened to them - I wonder what life is like for the autistic people living in these situations?! I'm so glad I read this before I went to a FAAAS conference - I might have gotten lynched! Don't waste your money with this book . . .
Granted, I understand that it is frustrating for families living with those with autism - I live alone for my own benefit and that of potential roommates, but, especially for people who are married to someone who is autistic - if it is that bad, get out of the relationship - I know a couple where the husband is autistic and the wife is bipolar who have been trying to make their marrige work for 40 years and have failed miserably . . .
If you want to know what it is really like to be an adult autistic, go read something by Temple Grandin, Donna Williams, Dawn Prince-Hughes, Jen Birch, Edgar Schneider, Jerry Newport, or all the other wonderful authors who have taken the time to write books - if you want a positive example of a family dealing with autism read 'A Thorn In My Pocket' by Temple Grandin's mother (who's name I don't have in front of me) - don't waste your money on this one
Great book idea but bad representation!.......2006-10-28
In the beginning of this book they define the root of this book which is the Cassandra Phenomenon or the "invisible walking wounded." The organizations invented term for the disorder Asperger adults give those close to them. Wow! This says we Aspergers are a mess and doesn't give any great advice. It just says if there not diagnosed get the loved one or friend diagnosed and if your depressed join the club we are to! You have to be kidding. My boyfriend who is typical in all ways and is a doctor agrees the idea to have a book to support the supporters of the Syndrome especially adults is incredibly needed but this book does a poor job. One story I remember is a complaint story of how a wife can't understand her husband with Aspergers and hates it so much they divorce and never speek again with no regrets on her end. If you need a support book of Inspiration for someone like this maybe try Diagnosing Jefferson by the leading international publisher on the syndrome called Horizon.
Great for spouses of Aspies.......2006-04-15
Finally! A book full of people that understand what it is like to live with and love someone on the spectrum. As the wife of an AS husband, this is so refreshing. Learning more about AS really helped our marriage. I am always so surprised to hear the inevitable people on the spectrum complaining that they will not change or learn at all - I guess they're perfect. Both the NT partner and the AS partner have to be accomodating; otherwise, AS people wouldn't have *any* family or friends left to share their lives. If I can gently remind my husband to give a little eye contact, and he knows it is something I find helpful or even romantic, then he is happy to go the extra mile. It's great to read a book that can shed some light on this. Any adult, NT, AS or otherwise should be mature enough to grow and work on things that are a problem for family members. NTs shouldn't have to do all the sacrificing, and I think AS folks with this attitude are stuck in childhood.
Thank you for this book!!.......2005-12-26
Having a son with Asperger's Syndrome as well as a husband with Aspergers Syndrome, I find that resources which shed full light upon our difficulties are few and far between.
It is tragic and criminal that people who have Asperger's Syndrome are so frequently overlooked by health professionals and labelled too "high functioning" to receive any health/disability assistance. It is also tragic that the families of such people are left alone to deal with the day to day struggles that someone with Asperger's Syndrome can suffer from.
This book clearly demonstrates that families, as well as the people with Asperger's whom we love so dearly, need much more help and support than we are given. HIGHLY recommend this book to families as well as health professionals who are working with Asperger's Syndrome.
Average customer rating:
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A Strange World- Autism, Asperger's Syndrome and PDD- NOS: A Guide for Parents, Partners, Professional Carers, and People with ASDs
Martine F. Delfos
Manufacturer: Jessica Kingsley Publishers
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Customer Reviews:
Simple book to point you in the right directions.......2006-04-28
This book should be given to any new single father. I bought it as an experienced single father looking for some moral support and a deep look at being a single father. This book is more like it's title. It's a survival guide. It won't tell you everything you need to know but at least get you thinking about things you need to worry about. While it didn't provide what I needed, I all ready knew much of what the book was telling, it would be excellent for a new single father due to divorce.
If your a single father due to the death of your spouse this book may not be as helpfull. There is a lot of material on dealing objectively with your ex on support and custody. It doesn't deal with specific laws but more general wisdom for less confrontation while protecting your child and your rights. I found the chapters on dating not much help. As a single father your dating like is as close to dead as it can get.
A book like this is bound to make some (mainly divorced female) people angry. It trys to be practical heads up to a new single father. Unfortunately in the world of divorce there is a take no prisoners mentality. This book doesn't look to stoke the fires of these wars, just protect a father's relationship to his children.
This book is worth the money spent.......2004-08-09
Wow! This book is worth the money spent and then some. The author defines `the single father' as any man who isn't living with his child's mother. Illustrated with cartoons, this is an indispensable resource for single dads about the joys of fathering. It helps to give dads the knowledge, skills, and support they need to become actively involved fathers.
The most practical guide I eveer seen.......2003-02-06
I'm adopting a 9 year old boy, and even I'm not in any of the categories this book describes, every page of it had become very useful. I live the same ups and downs, the same joy and the same frustration, so, I'm practicing every advice the author wrote, with extraordinary results.
For the first time since I took the decision of becoming a single father, I found an empathic word and a shoulder to cry in this book.
Difficult subject, helpful book.......2000-07-11
As a single father (never married to my child's mother), I've looked at as many books as I could find to get assistance in being a good father under the circumstances. I've only bought two - Live-Away Dads by William Klatte, and this one.
Mr Brott's book is informative, interesting, easy to read and easy to understand. Contrary to so many books on this subject, I didn't get any sense of anti-anything or anti-anyone posturing. Instead, I got the sense that Mr Brott values children and believes that they need fathers in their lives. His book is designed to encourage fathers to accept and embrace their relationships with their kids, despite limitations or changes in their circumstances. The thrust of the book is that the father-child relationship is important and necessary, and he suggests that fathers pursue and protect those relationships. To that end, he offers suggestions and advice about how to do so (from the big subjects, like meeting someone new, to the small, like setting aside space in your place for your kids, even if they don't live with you). I found it extremely helpful, if for no other reason than I felt less alone.
He seemed to me to be saying that preserving your relationship with your kids doesn't have to be to the exclusion of anyone else, and doesn't have to be a destructive process, which it all too frequently is. Would that more people agreed.
Some useful information, but a lot of anger at mothers.......2000-06-15
I took a look at this book to see if it might be something Icould recommend to my son's father, now that we're separated. Whilethere is some good parenting information, there are also some serious problems. Brott clearly isn't completely over his divorce yet. Little digs against mothers crop up even when he is discussing unrelated topics (for example, when he is discussing becoming a stepfather, he feels compelled to claim that mothers are more likely to abuse children than are stepfathers (he gives no reference to back up this bizarre claim). He condemns giving the mother sole or primary custody for various reasons, but supports *fathers* getting sole or primary custody--in his discussions of custody, he fails to focus on the children's best interests, but instead emphasizes the father's rights. Ditto his discussion of child support--he seems to think that mothers use child support payments to indulge themselves, without considering that adequate child support is what is the children's best interest. Furthermore, his proposed visitation schedules for breastfeeding infants are ludicrous--for example, for a one month old, breastfed, he suggests at least 3 hours a day, plus 8 to 12 hours on the weekends--a schedule that is highly likely to prevent breastfeeding from being successfully established. He also claims that extended breastfeeding (past 1 year) is merely a ploy to interfere with the father's relationship with the child. He also suggests giving "tastes" of food to very young babies (newborn to 6 months), apparently unaware that early introduction of solids can increase the risk of allergies developing. One good thing about this book is that he has included lots of information for gay fathers throughout, but I suspect that there are other books for gay fathers which do not have the problems of this book. I decided not to recommend this book to my son's fathers. Instead, I gave him a copy of _Helping_Your_Kids_Cope_With_Divorce_the_Sandcastles_Way_, which includes a wealth of balanced, compassionate, realistic advice for divorced parents of both genders.
Average customer rating:
- excellent overview to the changing family
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From Partners to Parents
June Carbone
Manufacturer: Columbia University Press
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Book Description
Examining the substantial changes that have occurred in families, family research, and family law over the last twenty years, this volume describes a paradigm shift in the legal and social regulation of the family from an emphasis on partners' relationships with each other to an emphasis on parents' relationships to their children. In this model, custody has replaced fault as the most important determination made at divorce, and marital status is supplanted by financial and emotional maturity as the indicia of responsible parenthood. The most significant remaining challenge, according to June Carbone, is the need to remake the relationship between adults in such a way that it makes fulfillment of their obligations to children possible.
Carbone's broadly interdisciplinary approach, drawing on economics, law, philosophy, and feminism -- as well as references to popular culture, from Doonesbury to Grace Under Fire -- serves as an intellectual survey of family research and of the major theoretical approaches to the family. She evaluates historical, sociological, and psychological research to show how family change is part of a long-term response to changing industrial organization, and to assess the impact of changing family form on children.
Customer Reviews:
excellent overview to the changing family.......2000-08-21
As an intellectual divorced father, I have long searched for that one book that gave the "view from 60,000" feet of what has changed in the American family, and why family law and social policy is (as schizophrenic) as it is. This is the book.
Professor Carbone overviews first the philosophical divide among economists, feminists, and others as to the "driving forces" within marriage, divorce, and post-divorce relationships. She then looks at the empirical evidence of how the family has actually functioned since the 19th century, and how it has changed since the 1960s (especially in the face of abortion, no fault divorce, and changed social mores that made single parenthood permissible). Finally, she discusses the legal revolution that has moved the relationship between parents and children to center stage, as it has removed the relationship between husbands and wives.
Professor Carbone's most important service to the family law community is that this is an impartial book - it is neither a militant feminist diatribe about "patriarchy," nor a Christian values diatribe about the "decline of the family," nor a father's rights diatribe about how the system "works against" fathers. Particularly in the fact that she brings to light the work of economic science in explaining the perverse incentives that encourage divorce, she has done the whole community a favor.
It is a centrist work that explains the explosion in divorce and single parent families in the changing economic/social structure and the changed legal environment due to abortion-on-demand and no fault divorce. The book has a massive bibliography and does an excellent job summarizing the available scholarly literature, on all sides of the debate.
Her central thesis is that the centrality of the "marriage contract" between man and woman has been replaced by the centrality of an irrevocable contract between parent and child. The law now looks to fathers (or the high-earning, non-custodial parent) to guarantee minimum child income; and to mothers (or the low-income, custodial parent) to guarantee food, clothing, and shelter for their children. These responsibilities can be transferred to others (via adoption), or revoked by the state, but they cannot be abrogated by the parties themselves. Child custody thus replaces fault as the central legal and emotional nexus of divorce, and the "no fault" cancel-upon-will nature of marriage is not replicated within the parent/child bond.
Marriage is temporary; parenting is forever, sayeth the law.
Seen in this context, much of present-day family law makes sense. Spousal support, or "alimony" becomes of greatly decreased relevance, since the marriage contract extends only within the life of the marriage. Community property "makes sense" because of the marriage partnership, and the dissolution of community property becomes more important than alimony...
Most importantly, because children now have rights, it "makes sense" that the adults cannot bargain away their "child support." Because children are not competent to spend money, it then makes sense that the custodial parent becomes "trustee" of this money, with all the societal conflict and complications that this implies. And because children are "emancipated" at age 18, it makes sense that child support terminates at that age: for rich children, this means (to paraphrase a famous court decision), millions for Barbies, but not a penny for college. Child support and child custody become the central focus of conflict, family law, and family politics.
This masterful overview has its failings, however. First, it is unclear whether some of the social changes - abortion and no-fault divorce, for example - are the cause or consequence of changes in societal values. Professor Carbone dangles the possibility in front of us that these are the "consequences" of value changes, and not the "causes," but she is unable to explain convincingly the chain of cause and effect between the legal revolution of the 1960's and today's distressing and distressed post-divorce family. Yet this causality is fundamental - because if legal changes are the cause of the explosion in divorce and single parenthood, then changing the law may be able to reverse trends and foster a better environment for our children. But if the law merely reflects economic and societal change, then proponents of change need to spend less time lobbying and more time attempting to change society and its values. I wouldn't fault her for not solving this puzzle; but it is surely the most important puzzle to solve.
The second oversight in the book regards the law itself. If you are looking for an in-depth analysis of family law, this book is not for you. The book is more a synthesis of law with social science, than it is a legal discourse. The book's greatest strength, therefore, is also its weakness: by planting the changed law within the context of our changed society, Professor Carbone helps the reader to understand why family law is what it is. Yet because of this context, the book doesn't really explain the law on its own terms.
A third fault within this otherwise excellent book is one common to many books (and perspectives) of the legal caste. The book fails to distinguish between what the law "says" is supposed to happen, and what actually happens. It is common knowledge within the father's rights community, for example, that mothers have a disproportionate claim to child custody and that custody laws are only rarely enforced. Similarly, it is common knowledge among the feminist "child support" community, that the most aggressive enforcement of child support concerns AFDC mothers, due to the state's material interest in reducing welfare costs - non-welfare child support is much less likely to be subject to state enforcement. The law on paper, therefore, only crudely approximates what really happens to men, women, and children.
Finally, Professor Carbone concludes the book with a plea for cooperative parenting and for legal recognition that today's family is not the same as it was in the Victorian ("patriarchal") past. Yet, here again, the problem is whether law is a cause, or a consequence of social change. Professor Carbone charts the steady deterioration in child welfare since the "divorce revolution" of the 1960's, and one can only wonder whether we are at the end or only the middle of the cost to children brought about by their parents' search for self-fulfillment.
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