Book Description
"Birthdays may be difficult for me."
"I want you to take the initiative in opening conversations about my birth family."
"When I act out my fears in obnoxious ways, please hang in there with me."
"I am afraid you will abandon me."
The voices of adopted children are poignant, questioning. And they tell a familiar story of loss, fear, and hope. This extraordinary book, written by a woman who was adopted herself, gives voice to children's unspoken concerns, and shows adoptive parents how to free their kids from feelings of fear, abandonment, and shame.
With warmth and candor, Sherrie Eldridge reveals the twenty complex emotional issues you must understand to nurture the child you love--that he must grieve his loss now if he is to receive love fully in the future--that she needs honest information about her birth family no matter how painful the details may be--and that although he may choose to search for his birth family, he will always rely on you to be his parents.
Filled with powerful insights from children, parents, and experts in the field, plus practical strategies and case histories that will ring true for every adoptive family,
Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew is an invaluable guide to the complex emotions that take up residence within the heart of the adopted child--and within the adoptive home.
Customer Reviews:
Great Book for Adoptive Parents and possibly Adoptee's.......2007-09-27
I have just begun reading this book but can already tell it is going to be very helpful for my husband and I and how we bring up our daughter. It is essential to know these things beforehand and to be equipped for how to deal with them.
Book review.......2007-09-13
This is an awesome book and filled with valuable and useful information for ALL parties within the adoption triad!
Scary book.......2007-08-12
I would NOT recommend this book to anyone considering adoption and the recommendations that Ms. Eldridge gives for adoptive children could be very psychologically harmful to children.
Focuses on negative, but is realistic.......2007-08-09
I am adopting 2 boys and when I first read this book it totally scared me! It seemed like there was no way that anything positive could come out of adoption. At the same time, my older sister was adopted as a child and I could see so much of what was written in what played out in my family growing up.
This book is real and it is important to learn from the pain others have gone through to try to ease that for the future generations of adopted children. This book does complain - that's often what we do. But while doing so, it sheds light on the internal pain that many people who have been adopted can feel.
Do not read this book as your sole source of information though. There are a number of books that offer practical advice that will give hope and understanding on how to talk positively about adoption, how to love your entire family without guilt, and how to give the love that the child needs.
On a side note: I let my mom read this book and at first she was upset by it. She had done the best job she could to raise her adopted child just as she did the rest of us. After some time away from the book and after several talks, she came to understand that by "ignoring" the differences she was not helping her daughter and just because her daughter didn't bring up the adoption didn't mean that she wasn't thinking about it all the time.
Yesterday to Today: A book I hated 5 years ago is suddenly really good.........2007-08-01
Adopted children have a range of specific needs as a result of their backgrounds. These are described by Sherrie Eldridge in her book "Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew".
As an adoptee and an adoptive mom, it had been for many years my opinion that people wrote adoption books with the main objective of making money or becoming an 'expert'. I have seen a few really good ones over the years, and quite a few bad ones. When the following book crept across my review-table years ago, I barely gave it a glance, mentally classifying it as more rubbish about how adopted kids are particularly messed up.
Oh, how time can change our thinking! Some of my kids are older now and we have walked through their developmental changes, their yearnings, their wonderings. That search-for-self can be so very painful, but does it always have to be? And must every child agonize through it alone? I was wrong about this book. I have recognized that it is a useful guide to parents, and I want to give it my highest recommendation today.
Each month I will review one or two books that are think are the Good Ones. They will not all be newly published. Some, like this one, will be re-visited and given the proper review that I now know they deserve. In fact, in the review department, I have more books than I can possibly read. If you are a good writer and are experienced with reviewing, please contact me and I'll be glad to have publishers send samples!
Excerpt from Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew
By Sherrie Eldridge (Dell Publishing)
The special needs of adopted children as expressed in the child's words:
Educational Needs :
* I need to be taught that adoption is both wonderful and painful, presenting lifelong challenges for everyone involved.
* I need to know my adoption story first, then my birth story and birth family.
* I need to be taught healthy ways for getting my special needs met.
* I need to be prepared for hurtful things others may say about adoption and about me as and adopted person.
Emotional Needs:
I need help in recognizing my adoption loss and grieving it
I need to be assured that my birth parents' decision not to parent me had nothing to do with anything defective in me.
I need help in learning to deal with my fears of rejection-to learn that absence doesn't mean abandonment, or a closed door that I have dome something wrong.
I need permission to express all my adoption feelings and fantasies.
Validation Needs :
* I need validation of my dual heritage (biological and adoptive).
* I need to be assured often that I am welcome and worthy.
* I need to be reminded often by my adoptive parents that they delight in my biological differences and appreciate my birth family's unique contribution to our family through me.
Relational Needs:
* I need friendships with other adopted persons.
* I need to be taught that there is a time to consider searching for my birth family and a time to give up searching.
* I need to be reminded that if I am rejected by my birth family, the rejection is about them, not me.
Spiritual Needs :
* I need to be taught that my life narrative began before I was born and that my life is not a mistake.
* I need to be taught that in this broken, hurting world loving families are formed through adoption as well as birth.
* I need to be taught that I have intrinsic, immutable value as a human being.
* I need to accept the fact that some of my adoption questions may never be answered in this life.
It would be wonderful if there were an outline...a course-book that came with every human born or adopted into each family. Many of the things above, such as 'I need to be assured that I am welcome and worthy', could be used with any child, anywhere. It is a gift of the greatest value to give your child the knowledge that they belong somewhere, they are wanted and cherished. I highly recommend this book, and hope you will learn from it, as I have. Perhaps a little bit later than I should have, but that is the benefit fo life: It gives plently of second chances.
Martha Osborne
Adoptee and Adoptive mom of five, Editor of [...] Adoption Magazine.
Book Description
John Baxter hires a private investigator to fulfill his wife's dying wish--that they find their firstborn son and make him part of the Baxter family. Meanwhile, top Hollywood actor Dayne Matthews undergoes a personal search for truth despite great loss, and Christian Kids Theater director Katy Hart makes a decision that could take her from the simple life she has grown to love.
Customer Reviews:
Found.......2007-06-12
Book 3 of the Firstborn series was so touching. My heart did flips while reading it.
Donalee T.......2007-05-13
I absolutely love everything Karen K writes. They are such good clean moral books and that is something that is very hard to find now days. Everyone thinks there should be lots of premarital sex in books today. I really appreciate your writing.
SUPERB Service.......2007-01-16
This order was shipped and arrived within just a few days of my order. The book itself was in excellent condition and I will be placing future orders with this very responsive seller.
Karen's best series.......2007-01-10
The Redemption Series followed by the Firstborn series are the best of Karen Kingsbury. Each book leaves you wanting to read the next. It is hard to review just one book in this series. If you haven't read the Redemption series, start at book one and go through from the beginning, then on tho the Firstborn series.
Great!.......2006-11-28
I buy all of Karen's books. I liked Found and the other Firstborn books. I loved the Baxter family, and it's nice to see them in this series also. Karen is one of my favorite authors! I can't wait to read the next one!
Book Description
From Alaska to Australia the word is spreading. Adoptive parents are discovering the enormous value of adoption lifebooks. But then the questions begin. Where do I start? What information should be included? Do I let my child bring it to school?
Beth O'Malley M.Ed. provides the answers to these and more. In her best selling book, LifeBooks: Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child Beth guides you though the process, step-by-step and page by page as if she were right there with you.
Learn about the difference between a scrapbook or baby book and a lifebook. Or explaining tough truths, dealing with secrets and which pages are essential.
Newly revised 2002
Dozens of real life stories
Lists of hard-to-find lifebook resource websites
Sample pages for international and domestic
Special waiting parent section.
If you get really stuck, there are three full-length examples in the back section, including one for China adoptions.
Her life experiences as an adoptee combined with doing lifebook seminars with adoptive parents all over the country, gives Beth a special perspective on lifebooks. Most importantly, Beth has made countless lifebooks with children in her role as an adoption specialist in Massachusetts.
Beth O'Malley has helped thousands of adoptive families give their children the answers and security they crave.
This book is an indispensable guide to making your child's lifebook. You will refer to it for years to come!
Customer Reviews:
A wonderful guide to create a treasure for your child!.......2007-06-24
This is such a great book. Wonderful ideas for adopted children internationally or domestic, children of any age, foster kids. She covers everyone. She does a fantastic job sharing and guiding. This would truly be a treasure to a child. Easy read and quite enjoyable as well. Wonderful tips and ideas!!
Outstanding.......2007-02-17
This book is wonderful. It gives step by step directions on how to start a life book. It explains what it is and why they are good for the adopted child. I highly reccommend this book to all adoptive parents!
great book!.......2006-08-28
This book gives practical ideas, with examples to follow broken down into a user-friendly format for those of us who are journaling-challanged!
Perfect Book for a Foster/Adopted Child.......2006-07-03
I am currently writing my childs LifeBook. Without this book for guidance I would be lost. I am lucky enough to have a few photo's of my son at various ages from 1 month to 18 months, including one of the birthmom and him at 5 months of age. This book is helping me tell his story without my emotions getting in the way. This is truely his book and very personal.
Creating a Lifebook.......2005-09-25
This book has a lot of idea's for creating a lifebook. It will be very helpful.
Average customer rating:
- nice text, weird illustrations
- Disappointed
- Absolutely loved this book.
- Daughter likes it !
- I liked it, daughter did not.
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I Don't Have Your Eyes
Carrie A. Kitze
Manufacturer: EMK Press
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Over the Moon: An Adoption Tale
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I Love You Like Crazy Cakes
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A Mother for Choco (Paperstar)
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Families are Forever
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The Red Blanket
ASIN: 0972624422 |
Book Description
Family connections are vitally important to children as they begin to find their place in the world. For transracial and transcultural adoptees, domestic adoptees, and for children in foster care or kinship placements, celebrating the differences within their families as well as the similarities that connect them, is the foundation for belonging. As parents or caregivers, we can strengthen our children's tie to family and embrace the differences that make them unique. Each child will have their own story and their own special place to belong.
This beautifully illustrated and uplifting book, for the 2-5 set, will help to create the intimate parent/caregiver and child bond that is so important. While others may notice the physical differences between us on the outside, inside we are the same.
Customer Reviews:
nice text, weird illustrations.......2007-09-11
This book is chock full of really lovely sentiment regarding how similar we are ... on the inside...(gross paraphrase)
Unfortunately, the illustrations are freakish. I don't know how else to characterize them. My kids were totally turned off by the way people looked in the story. The mom on the first page looks like one of those dolls with the blue eyes that open and close.
On the other hand, I could see that my 10 year old was intrigued by the text. She couldn't stand the illustrations, though.
Disappointed .......2007-08-09
Our red-haired, blue-eyed son and his similarly endowed wife are in the process of pursuing a Vietnamese adoption, so the title of this book attracted my attention immediately. I was quite disappointed in it, however, because it's entirely too specific in listing the ways in which parent and child who do not look alike are still similar. I was especially put off by the religious portion...my son and his wife are not religious, nor are we, but the book assumes that the parent adopting the child is and will pass on that tradition. The book is useless for us and will be passed on to the library sale. The other book I purchased, "The Red Blanket", is vastly superior, both in text and illustration.
Absolutely loved this book........2007-08-05
This is one of the best childrens' books I have ever read. I think its essential for children who have been adopted and its a great book for children not adopted because it gives children at a young age the idea of how special adoption really is. What I loved about the book is that it doesn't just talk about eyes, but legs, and nose...etc. The child is saying in the book I didn't get my features from you but look at all the important things I got from you such as your way of looking at life. It was beautiful, just beautiful. A must have.
Daughter likes it !.......2007-04-07
My 3 year old daughter adopted from China likes this book very much, she likes to follow along with the pictures and calls out "pop pop" etc. in reponse to the various people pictured in the book. We like this one!
I liked it, daughter did not........2006-12-21
As the adoptive Anglo dad of a now 5.5 yr old Chinese daughter this books title and description spoke to me... When it arrived and I read it to my daughter she was quiet... then asked for a different story. She later shared with her mom that she didn't like the story (which I could tell from her reaction while I was reading it) and she did not know how to tell me that without hurting my feelings.. So, as we all know, every human is different. My daughter did not like this book,I did. WHo did I buy it for? Well- it was for US to share, so knowing that SHE does not like it I have to rate this a "1" even though I enjoyed it. PL
Average customer rating:
- Not All Giants are the Same
- A Great Classic, Review by YM, age 12
- The BFG
- THE BFG STUDENT REVIEW
- bfg
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The BFG
Roald Dahl
Manufacturer: Puffin
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The Witches
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ASIN: 0141301058 |
Amazon.com
Evidently not even Roald Dahl could resist the acronym craze of the early eighties. BFG? Bellowing ferret-faced golfer? Backstabbing fairy godmother? Oh, oh ... Big Friendly Giant! This BFG doesn't seem all that F at first as he creeps down a London street, snatches little Sophie out of her bed, and bounds away with her to giant land. And he's not really all that B when compared with his evil, carnivorous brethren, who bully him for being such an oddball runt. After all, he eats only disgusting snozzcumbers, and while the other Gs are snacking on little boys and girls, he's blowing happy dreams in through their windows. What kind of way is that for a G to behave?
The BFG is one of Dahl's most lovable character creations. Whether galloping off with Sophie nestled into the soft skin of his ear to capture dreams as though they were exotic butterflies; speaking his delightful, jumbled, squib-fangled patois; or whizzpopping for the Queen, he leaves an indelible impression of bigheartedness. (Ages 9 to 12)
Book Description
"Well, first of all, " said the BFG, "human beans is not really believing in giants, is they? Human beans is not thinking we exist."
Sophie discovers that giants not only exist, but that there are a great many of them who like to guzzle and swallomp nice little chiddlers. But not the Big Friendly Giant. He and Sophie cook up an ingenious plot to free the world of troggle-humping -- forever.
Performed by Natasha Richardson
Customer Reviews:
Not All Giants are the Same.......2007-09-24
Imagine being taken away by someone or something, which is 100 times bigger than you are. Imagine flying over continents in amazing speeds in the ear of a giant, and save the world from human-eating giants. In The BFG, by Roald Dalh, this is what happens to Sophie, an orphan living in England, who is kidnapped by a giant in the middle of the night and taken away to a far away place.
Her only fault is to be awake and be watching the giant when he is peeking into the bedrooms of others' houses. She is terrified and thinks she will be a meal to this giant. However, she finds out that his name is The BFG: The Big Friendly Giant, who does not eat human beings. He is unlike the other giants who are bigger, who travel to different countries and eat children and adults for dinner. Once Sophie makes friends with the friendly giant, she decides to stop the carnivorous giants from eating more people in the world with the help of the BFG in a very clever way - through dreams that the BFG collects!
Although the BFG is a giant, he is not like the others: he is unique. He does not eat people. He is a Big Friendly Giant. After reading this book we cannot say all giants are dangerous or bad. There is always one that is unique, and one that saves the day. This is a great book to teach about different people in the world. We cannot generalize about people, for example, "Turkish people are lazy." One is apt to find an exception to the rule. It requires courage and an open mind to discover the unique.
The BFG is a fun book to read. The author, Roald Dahl, uses made up words to show that the BFG is not properly schooled because he does not know how to speak "proper" English. So, instead of saying, "Cross your fingers," he says, "Cross your figglers." These words force the reader to figure out what he really means. The way the giant talks is also funny and grammatically wrong: "I is hungry." "Am I right or left?" "Bonecrunching Giant only gobbles human beans from Turkey."
I love The BFG. It has been nice to get lost in the world of a giant and identify with him. Not a lot of books talk about being a vegetarian. Although it is about giants, I like the idea that he is not killing people or animals to eat. It is a very lighthearted book. Reading about where the BFG and his companions live took me to an imaginary land. How he collects dreams and stores them in glass containers was a delight to read.
Every adult should read this book to escape the silliness and stress of the real world. I especially recommend it to people who love playing with languages and making up their own words. I love the made up words, such as "phizzwizard" for a great dream or "trogglehumper" for a nightmare. His everyday sayings are also changed into strange BFG-language very creatively: "Oh, save our solos!" for "Save our souls."
On the other hand, it might be a hard book to read for students who learn English as a second language because they may not have the foundation of the English vocabulary to figure out what these made-up words may mean. This would be a great book to read to children. If kids get confused, they can always ask the adult who is reading it for clarification so the fun does not get spoiled.
A Great Classic, Review by YM, age 12.......2007-08-10
The BFG is a classic by Roald Dahl, who I think is one of the best authors I have read books by. It begins with a girl named Sophie being kidnapped by a giant from a home for orphans in England. Naturally, she is frightened of him at first, but as she gets to know the Big Friendly Giant (BFG), she hatches a plot to help him get rid of his nasty neighbours.
I particularly like this book, because unlike many other books with children overcoming problems, instead of adults helping the child, Sophie actually helps the queen of England get rid of a problem. This has great action, but it could also be a comedy because of the funny scenes, which is why I like it so much (I love funny books). I would recommend this book to anybody, child or adult, who likes funny books with some action.
- Y.M.P.
The BFG.......2007-05-14
I loved this book. I read it to my daughters 3rd grade class 2 years ago, and am now reading it to my son's 3rd grade class. It takes about 6 readings and the kids really look forward to it.
THE BFG STUDENT REVIEW.......2007-05-11
As students of ms118 we rate this book a 4star.This book will make you laugh also its kind of hard because of all the infrencing words that was made up by the arther.This book talks about a litle girl name sophie and how one day she was looking out the window and she sall the giant(thebfg) sophie got really scared so she ran to her bed and got under her covers shaking so she sall a shadow in the covers.find out some more about bfg there are a lot of interresting facts to read this is a fiction book i recomend it to a person ho love fiction books.
bfg.......2007-04-14
BFG is a fantastic book that I would recommend for all ages. The story opens up when a dark shadow snatches Sophie, and takes her away to a whole new world. The dark shadow formed when her head was under a blanket. When she got to her final destination she saw the BFG.
BFG stands for Big Friendly Giant, so he is not one of those human eating, bone crunching giants. He has huge ears and wrinkly skin. His hair color is gray. But he doesn't have very much hair. So he is mainly bald.
Sophie decides that everything needs to be stopped, and the BFG is going to help her. After killing a few
bone crunching, rude giants. Sophie asked the queen
for some help to stop the other giants. They made a trap and they fell into it and died. That is how the book ended.
I really enjoyed reading this book. I hope someday
everyone will have a chance to read it. I definitely give this book 5 stars!!!
Book Description
One rainy day in Brooklyn, Jennings Michael Burch's mother, too sick to care for him, left him at an orphanage, saying only, "I'll be right back." She never returned. Shuttled through a series of bleak foster homes and institutions, he never remained in any of them long enough to make a friend. Instead, Jennings clung to a tattered stuffed animal, his sole source of warmth in a frightening world. This is the poignant story of his lost childhood. But it is also the triumphant tale of a little boy who finally gained the courage to reach out for love-and found it waiting for him.
Customer Reviews:
Half-truths?.......2007-09-22
I liked the book, but I have internal warning lights going off as to the complete veracity of the story.
While I don't doubt that many of the abusive and neglectful things that happened to Burch did, in fact, happen to him, I can't help but have this feeling that there is some embellishment going on when it comes to some of the abuse. Sometimes the stories of cruelty seem so far-fetched, that they border on implausible (given all the characters involved in any one incident). There are also stories of being rescued from abuse that seem a little fishy.
Even more implausible however, is the philosophical wisdom of some of the children involved...like Burch's sickly brother, Jerome, or his Institution friend, Mark. These pre-teens seem to be able to impart wisdom and knowledge an a scale that most adults have a hard time embracing, even after a lifetime of existence, let alone when they were children.
I'd be willing to bet that the Author had to embellish a little in order to create some of the dialog (dialog dominates much of this book). He would have to! Who amongst us at middle-age can recall, IN DETAIL, lengthy conversations that they had when they were eight years old? But what concerns me more than needing to embellish the dialog, is this feeling I had that there are times when "fact" goes more in to the "fantasy" realm, for the sake of dramatic license. It often seems like certain scenarios have all the timing and drama of a Hollywood screenplay, as opposed to "ringing true to life".
I don't doubt that what Mr. Burch experienced as a child was indeed traumatizing and terrifying. And for that alone, it's a worthwhile read. I just have my doubts as to how much is "autobiographical" and how much is "novel" writing. How can much of what was supposedly said between Mark , Jerome and Jennings be proven anyway? Mark dies in his youth, and Jerome not very long after him (relatively speaking).
This is only an impression I'm making about this book however, as I have no proof one way or the other that there is embellishment going on. I'm just stating a gut-feeling I personally have which is born solely out of life-experience, and that's all.
But if there was embellishment for dramatic effect, I would have preferred that the Author was honest about it. And if there was none, my sincerest apologies for doubting him.
You read it and you decide. :-)
Surviving in life........2007-07-12
This story of a little boy's surviving hardships is so sad; yet he keeps going by letting go of hatered for those who hurt him, and looking forward to a better future.
Great book.......2007-06-09
This is my favorite book. I have read this book over the years no less than eight times......that is why I had to get a new one :-)
I highly recommend this book especially if you are like me and only like to read non-fiction.
Do NOT Bother!!!!.......2007-03-30
This book is horrible. The story is intresting, but it becomes lost benath a style that is both immature and drab. It is clearly written by someone without any training in creative writing. I do not understand what the prevous reviewer saw in this book.
Loved this book.......2007-02-23
I read this book many years ago when I was in 6th grade, actually my teacher read it to us. she found out that Jennings Michael Burch went to different schools around the country to talk about his life. he came to my school the following year. a few years laer when I was in 9th grade he came back, a few years before that I had written him a letter about how much I loved his book. when he came back the 2nd time he stayed at my house. we were his host family. I will never forget that. I have my autographed book with me. IF YOU HAVE NEVER READ THIS BOOK, READ IT. It will make you cry, so have a box of kleenex next to you.
Amanda from Kansas
Book Description
Finally, a comprehensive parenting book for adoptive families! Over 100 contributors have helped EMK Press to weave a stunning tapestry of advice specifically for adoptive parents. Parenting adopted children requires parenting with an extra layer and this book helps you to understand where that extra layer falls. This 520 page book is a wealth of information for the newly arrived home family and the experienced family as well. This is "What to Expect" for the adoptive family. It is a book you won't read all at once, but come back to again and again as your child's awareness of who they are and how they came to join your family develops and your awareness of how to parent them evolves.
Our adopted children come to us from loss-loss of a birthfamily, perhaps a culture, and sometimes language. There are helpful things that we can do to address these issues, and Adoption Parenting helps you to create an awareness to do just that. We also look at stumbling blocks to good parenting, and standard parenting practices that aren't the best solution for adopted children.
We look at the core issues all members of the adoption triad face, and look at how that affects standard parenting challenges like sleeping through the night, discipline and attachment. We cover specific challenges families have faced: FASD, trauma and PTSD, sensory integration, speech and language delays, learning issues, food issues, racial differences, and at ways to effectively parent a post-institutionalized child.
We also look at how each of us has been parented and how that affects the parenting choices we make for our children. There is a section which includes articles on Post Adoption Depression, the importance of support networks (both for your children and for yourself) and when and how to find therapists if that is warranted. The book is filled with resources and links to help find more information on a specific topic as your parenting or your child needs.
The contributors to this book include professionals in their respective fields like Dan Hughes, PhD; Arthur Becker-Weidman, PhD; Beth O'Malley,MEd; Adam Pertman; Ellen Singer, LCSW-C; Laurie Miller, MD; Mary Beth Williams, PhD, LCSW, CTS; Barbara Elleman, MHS, OTR/L, BCP; Marcy Axness, PhD; Christopher J. Alexander, PhD; Sharon Glennen, PhD, CCC-SLP; Doris Landry, MS, LLC.
Contributors also include parents who have had to learn to parent the children who have come to them. Many of these parents have become experts as well! The advice and the wisdom they have to share is honest and heartening. Adoptees who are now adults have shared experiences on their growing up that are interwoven in the book and there are contributions from birth mothers as well.
Each person comes to parenting from a different place and the needs their children have are unique. Adoption Parenting: Creating a Toolbox, Building Connections allows the reader to choose which tools are helpful for their particular situation and which are not. This isn't a book about what you have to do to parent, but about perspective, awareness, and understanding that overlays how you parent. This book is designed to help each of us become the best parents for our children and to offer support and connections for families on the journey of adoption parenting!
Customer Reviews:
What to expect + What to do .......2007-10-09
Adoption Parenting is written in parent-friendly language and covers just about everything an adoptive parent needs (or will need) to know. The book provides something no other adoption book has: summaries of general child development and parenting practices and the "adoption twists" that make parenting adoted children so challenging. This information was extremely helpful not only for improving parent-child interactions, but for explaining to nosey neighbors and cranky in-laws why parenting an adopted child is different than parenting the child next door. As an adoptive parent and child development specialist and family therapist I couldn't rate this book highly enough. Great book; don't miss it!
Adoption Parenting.......2007-06-08
This book has been very helpful. The more I read the more I appreciate all of its advice. There are things that I read that will be real helpful when our children are home. It is helping us prepare and hopefully, we will know where to turn for help.
I also love the fact this is written by several people, not just one.
great reference.......2007-06-01
This book deals with a lot of concerns and issues. Rather than reading it like a novel, it is intended as more of a reference. I like that. We adopted our daughter from China in 2006. She came with some "baggage" we weren't quite prepared for. This book gives tons of information and refers to other web sites and references for further information regarding particular topics. Many books available deal with adoption of older children or domestic adoption. This is great for the internationally adopted child.
A must have for your library!.......2007-05-15
How I wish this book was available when I first started my adoption journey. This book has it all -- in one place! I am amazed at the subject range covered and all the stories from the adoption communities. What a resource! I am already planning on buying it for some good friends with issues that this book covers, as well as using it as a gift for all my friends and family that start this journey from this day forward. My daughter has been home two years and I found comfort and encouragement in these pages. The book covers from pre-adoption to pre-adolescence. "Toolbox" is the perfect word. A heartfelt "thank you" to the authors for putting it together! BUY THIS ONE! You won't be sorry!
Answers.......2007-04-24
For our family, my only wish is that this book was published over a decade ago when we first began adopting. Our story is chronicled in "An Unlit Path - One Family's Journey Toward The Light of Truth." An Unlit Path demonstrates the tragedy and heartbreak that can occur when parents are not informed.
This book on Adoption Parenting addresses such issues as attachment, and distrupted adoptions that would have proved invaluable in our struggles. Presented from different prospectives as well as from adoptive parents and experts alike, this simply is answers for so many of the questions adoptive families ask. I advocate on behalf of pre-service and on-going training and this book would be ideal for required reading for prospective adoptive and foster parents. Many books deal with the adoption process, few deal with the realities and the difficulties that may arise in the following years. Sometimes,adoptive families feel very alone and misunderstood. This book offers comfort in the realization that many of the trials endured are shared by so many other adoptive families. Education is the key to successful adoptions and this book is essential reading and a great resource.
Amazon.com
"Some people may describe adoption as difficult; others simply describe it as different. I am inclined to think of it as complex," writes Lois Ruskai Melina in the updated, revised Raising Adopted Children: Practical, Reassuring Advice for Every Adoptive Parent.
Adoption practices have evolved considerably since this book's first publication in 1986, and the new version of the "Dr. Spock for adoptive parents" reflects the latest theories. Drawing on the findings and practices of pediatricians, social workers, scientists, and adoptive parents, Raising Adopted Children is carefully and thoroughly researched. Chapters on open adoption, international adoption, and transracial adoption are combined with advice on bonding and attachment, breast-feeding an adoptive infant (possible but complicated), dealing with schools, privacy issues, adopting a child with disabilities, adopting as a single parent, and the challenges of adolescence. While Melina's many years of professional and personal experience shape her advice, she remains very evenhanded. For example, she's a strong proponent of the "early telling" theory of adoption (being open about the adoption with the child from the beginning), but she also clearly presents other points of view, and, throughout the book, encourages parents to make decisions that feel right for them.
The text includes specific suggestions for explaining a child's birth circumstances, including common misconceptions, and a valuable discussion about whether adoptees are at greater risk for behavior problems or learning disabilities. She also provides suggestions for setting rules for contact with biological parents, easing grief, and acknowledging a child's history. A completely annotated list of selected references and resources rounds out this superior guide. --Ericka Lutz
Book Description
In this completely revised and updated edition of Raising Adopted Children, Lois Melina, editor of Adopted Children newsletter and the mother of two children by adoption, draws on the latest research in psychology,sociology, and medicine to guide parents through all stages of their child's development. Melina addresses the pressing adoption issues of today, such as open adoption, international adoption, and transracial adoption, and answers parents' most frequently asked questions, such as:
- How will my child "bond" or form attachments to me?
- When and how should I tell my child that he was adopted?
- What should schools be told about my child?
- Will adoption make adolescent upheavals more complicated?
Up-to-date, sensitive, and clear, Raising Adopted Children is the definitive resource for all adoptive parents and concerned professionals.
"Raising Adopted Children is a comprehensive source of practical, reassuring advice and intelligent support for the adoptive parent. [It is also an] excellent professional resource for social workers, physicians, teachers, therapists, and others working with adopted children and their parents."
--North American Council on Adoptable Children
"Melina, an adoptive parent, writes both sensibly and sensitively on many critical issues faced by parents and their adopted children from infancy through adolescence."
--Booklist
Customer Reviews:
Informational, Yet Flawed.......2005-10-14
I agree with the two reviwers who said that this book assumes that all people who adopt are unable to conceive, and that the book is overly "PC". In regards to infertility, the book really does heap it on about how people who can't conceive need to grieve, and may think that they won't be able to love another's child, and so on. We're not infertile, but I would be just as offended if I were. Infertility and adoption do not always go hand in hand, and I think that Melina forgets that.
I also found the writing to be hyperbolic, as in "You MUST" do this, or, my favorite "All adoptive parents" fear that their children will love their birthparents more than the adoptive parents. Use of such imperatives, "All," "must," "will," instead of more realistic words like "Many," "should/need," and "might," makes the text sound like a user's manual for computer applications.
That negative said, the book itself does contain a lot of useful information, which I haven't seen in any of my previous adoption-related readings. I would absolutely recommend it to people who are going through the adoption process. I think there are better books for people who are wondering whether or not to adopt (such as "Is Adoption for You?"), but that this book directly addresses the fears and questions for people who are about to become adoptive parents.
The number one book to get!.......2005-08-01
We are in the process of getting our home study done thru Lutheran Social Services and this is one of the "required reading" books. It is far better than any book I've purchased on adoption on my own. It takes you through every scenario. It's realistic and practical. It's also easy to read.
Disappointing........2005-05-18
Like the other posters, I too was given this book as part of our homestudy for adopting a child from China. After reading the first chapter I found myself insulted. This book assumes all who read it are adopting because they cannot get pregnant, which is not my case. While infertility is something that should not be ignored, and I appreciate the fact that most adoption books I read address the matter, this book would have been much more respectable if it did not direct its text to the reader as a person who cannot conceive. I was so insulted that I returned the book to my social worker with these concerns.
Helpful.......2005-03-14
My husband and I found this book invaluable in raising our son. There is so much information that you need to know: from dealing with varied emotions to working with your child's teachers and peers and helping them relate to the world. Should definitely be a required book for all parents of adopted children.
Excellent and should be required for prospective adoptives.......2004-10-01
So many adoptive parents lose sight of the fact that adoption exists to provide loving homes for children, NOT to provide them, an infertile couple, with a child. Even the happiest adopted child, in the very best of circumstances, will have certain issues throughout their life and their parents should be prepared to deal with these and answer questions. For far too long adoption has been a secretive practice and everyone has assumed that the process itself ended when the court papers were signed. It's a lifetime adjustment and education like this will help ease the concerns of all three members of the adoption triad - birthparents, adoptives, and adoptees. How I wish my adoptive parents had had something like this to read. They did so many insensitive things that were so hurtful. Should be required reading for everyone planning to adopt.
Average customer rating:
- Couldn't put it down!
- Wonderful Book
- This book is the bomb!
- Kimchi and Calamari for Everyone!
- A Great Read Aloud for Classrooms and Families
|
Kimchi & Calamari
Rose Kent
Manufacturer: HarperCollins
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover
Fiction
| Adoption
| Family Life
| People & Places
| Children's Books
| Subjects
| Books
Asian & Asian American
| Multicultural Stories
| People & Places
| Children's Books
| Subjects
| Books
Other
| Multicultural Stories
| People & Places
| Children's Books
| Subjects
| Books
Fiction
| Emotions & Feelings
| Social Situations
| People & Places
| Children's Books
| Subjects
| Books
General
| Ages 9-12
| Children's Books
| Subjects
| Books
General
| Literature
| Children's Books
| Subjects
| Books
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ASIN: 0060837691
Release Date: 2007-04-10 |
Book Description
Kimchi and calamari. It sounds like a quirky food fusion of Korean and Italian cuisine, and it's exactly how Joseph Calderaro feels about himself. Why wouldn't an adopted Korean drummer—comic book junkie feel like a combo platter given:
(1) his face in the mirror
(2) his proud Italian family.
And now Joseph has to write an essay about his ancestors for social studies. All he knows is that his birth family shipped his diapered butt on a plane to the USA. End of story. But what he writes leads to a catastrophe messier than a table of shattered dishes—and self-discovery that Joseph never could have imagined.
Customer Reviews:
Couldn't put it down!.......2007-05-21
Kimchi and Calamari provided great entertainment and insight for me and my two teenage aged daughters. The characters are real, the plot engaging and heartwarming, and the interaction between the characters are as real and funny as in my own home. Kent's ability to draw analogies using food make the book come alive while providing life lessons. The book works for all ages, nationalities and family situations!
Wonderful Book.......2007-05-18
Kimchi and Calamari was a wonderful book! I sat down one night around 10, and did not go to sleep until I finished it! I loved Kimchi and Calamari because it reminded me....a resident of NJ, growing up as a Korean Adoptee, and being an adoptee in today's world. I was brought up in an semi-Italian family, however, we never ate Calamari! Not only did I understand what Joseph was going though, but being a Jersey Girl, I loved the fact that the book takes place in NJ, and I also understood the few references to NJ humor.
Kimchi and Calamari is truly a real life story, written from the heart.
This book is the bomb!.......2007-05-17
I just finished reading "Kimchi and Calamari" and I just think that this book is really something special. Kent has crafted a great story here, a book that'll stick with you not just because it's well-written and Joseph is a great character, but because it's fun to follow him along for the ride when he goes through the trials and tribulations of coming of age. The food component is great too-- I practically needed to go out to Carrabba's after reading about the many tasty dishes being served up. Also, it's worth mentioning that Nash Potato is just a great character -- what a good friend and funny too! Can a Nash Potato spin-off sequel be far away? For all of us, let's hope not. Anyways, this bildungsroman is a great first time out for Kent, and she deserves lots of kudos for her first book. I look forward to reading more from this up and coming new author.
Kimchi and Calamari for Everyone!.......2007-04-20
I got my hands on an advance copy and had the opportunity to read Kimchi and Calamari before it hit the shelves. If you've bothered to read this Amazon listing all the way down to here, you probably already know that the book is about a boy who was adopted from Korea and his struggles with self-identity. It would be really easy to say the book is great for adoptive families. It would be easy to say the book is great for asian-americans or italian-americans or multi-racial families or whatever.
However, that would be selling this book short. It would be keeping this book out of the hands of the thousands of others who could be enjoying it simply for the fact that it is one great story. Rose Kent does a great job telling the tale of Joseph, and his travails through the school year. This is a book that should be on everyone's reading list.
A Great Read Aloud for Classrooms and Families.......2007-04-19
Rose Kent's new novel, Kimichi & Calamari, is an excellent book on the topic of cultural identity. It tells the story of Joseph, a young boy who was adopted from Korea by an Italian American family. The catalyst for Joseph's struggles is a geneology report assigned in school. We watch as Joseph tries to find a way to fake his way through the report by choosing to write about a famous Korean athelete and pass him off as his ancestor. Along the way his curiousity about his actual birth family grows which leads him to some interesting places.
It is easy to fall in love with Joseph and feel for the predicament he finds himself in. This book would make a great read aloud and discussion book to use with kids in the intermediate grades because the language, setting, and identity struggles are so authentic. Kent manages to teach us all about the struggles of children who are adopted without sounding preachy or condescending. Families formed through adoption should definitely buy this book for Joseph's insight into being adopted alone. Even children who are not adopted can benefit from seeing that they are not alone in asking the age old question "Who am I?". Buy this book!
Customer Reviews:
remarkable insights.......2007-10-06
I don't know how I missed this book for more than a decade, but it is still timely and insightful, explaining many things about the adoptee's experience which didn't make sense when trying to analyze the experience emotionally or intellectually. A must read for any member of the adoption triad.
Primal Wound.......2007-08-13
I feel that this is a must read for everybody adoptee, birth parent and adoptive parent and ever those that were just given away.
Self-Knowledge and Rehabilitation.......2007-07-25
Reading this book is like peering through a window into the secret inner life of the adoptee, which makes it an excellent book both for adoptees and for those who are close to them. Since some of the issues Verrier addresses in this book are common to many people who were not adopted, such as people who were placed in incubators at birth or people who grew up with alcoholic parents, this is also an excellent book for people outside of the book's target audience. In very accessible language Verrier argues that much of the perplexing and often maladjusted and maladjustive behaviour exhibited by adoptees is caused by the trauma they suffered upon separation from their birth mothers. According to Verrier, the effects of that trauma are made worse by the fact that, for the most part, those effects are unrecognized not only by society as a whole, but also by the adoptees themselves. Adoptees whose trauma goes unrecognized are not able to grieve the loss of their birth mothers, which leaves them alone to struggle with the potentially debilitating issues that arise from their unresolved grief. One of the most important functions this book performs is to acknowledge and thereby validate the often silent suffering of adoptees, which may then allow adoptees to begin the process of healing both themselves and their relationships with others. This process begins with the recognition of Verrier's critical insight into the fact that adoptive families are very different from biological ones, and may proceed not only with the help of some of the practical suggestions Verrier puts forward in this book, but also with the help of her more in-depth study of the same issues in the sequel to this book, _Coming Home to Self: The Adopted Child Grows Up_. For anybody who is interested in reading more about the false selves that Verrier says adoptees often live with, I highly recommend R. D. Laing's _The Divided Self: An Existential Study in Sanity and Madness_. Similarly, for anybody who is interested in reading more about the significance of the family for one's sense of one's own identity, and about the significance of one's relationships with others more generally, I highly recommend chapter four of John Russon's _Human Experience: Philosophy, Neurosis, and the Elements of Everyday Life_.
The Primal Wound.......2007-04-24
The Primal Wound: Understanding the Adopted Child
I lost count on how many times I said "Just like me" while reading this book.
It should be a required read for any prospective adoptive parent and for all who councel adoptee's and their adopters. Any adoptee who cannot see themselves and how they sometimes feel and behave in this book are in deep denial!
Thanks for the insight! I'm not crazy, I'm adopted! Whew!!
THE BIBLE FOR ADOPTEES!.......2007-02-17
THIS BOOK HITS EVERYTHING ABOUT ADOPTION 100% ON THE HEAD! I CAN'T READ IT IN IT'S ENTIRETY, BUT IS THE BEST PIECE OF WORK OUT THERE!!!
THANK YOU!
GABI532
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