Book Description
In this national bestseller, acclaimed, award-winning psychologist Dr. David Walsh explains exactly what happens to the human brain on the path from childhood into adolescence and adulthood. Revealing the latest scientific findings in easy-to-understand terms, Dr. Walsh shows why moodiness, quickness to anger and to take risks, miscommunication, fatigue, territoriality, and other familiar teenage behavior problems are so common -- all are linked to physical changes and growth in the adolescent brain.
Why Do They Act That Way? is the first book to explain the changes in teens' brains and show parents how to use this information to understand, communicate with, and stay connected to their kids. Through real-life stories, Dr. Walsh makes sense of teenagers' many mystifying, annoying, and even outright dangerous behavioral difficulties and provides realistic solutions for dealing with everyday as well as severe challenges. Dr. Walsh's techniques include, among others: sample dialogues that help teens and parents talk civilly and constructively with each other, behavioral contracts, and Parental Survival Kits that provide practical advice for dealing with issues like curfews, disrespectful language and actions, and bullying. With this arsenal of strategies, parents can help their kids learn to control impulses, manage erratic behavior, cope with their changing bodies, and, in effect, develop a second brain.
Customer Reviews:
Why Do They Act That Way?: A Survival Guide to the Adolescent Brain for You and Your Teen.......2007-01-18
We have found this book to be extremely helpful. Raising a teenager is an amazing experience and it helps to have some expert, non partial advice that is backed by research. We especially appreciated the fact that the author does not offer excuses, but helps everyone remain responsible for their behavior, including parents. It was so helpful for us that we bought it as a gift for two different families that are raising teenagers. It was passed on to us by another family that is raising teenagers. Parents are looking for sound instruction. This book provides great insight to what is really going on inside those mysterious heads.
Why do They Act This Way? A Survival Guide to the Adolescent Brain and Your Teen.......2006-10-29
David Walsh is very readable, has a strong sense of humor necessary to deal with the teen psyche, and speaks well to frustrated parents about why their kids do what they do, and how to look at from their perspective and then deal with it more effectively. It's a fun read.
Excellent ---A Must Have for ALL parents.......2005-11-04
Dr. Walsh must have known my son. I felt like he wrote this book for my family. His explanations were easily understood and very insightful, but, not an excuse for the teen's behavior. It was hard at times to put the book down. I really wish my parents had read this book.
Thank YOU, Dr. Walsh. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
M. Weedman, Merritt Island, FL
A must for an parent of an adolescent.......2005-07-19
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I read it in two sittings. There were so many good and funny examples of real life situations that as a parent of a teenager, one can relate to all too well.
The author is well informed and the information about the human brain development is critical to understanding how to connect and deal with you teenager.
Highly recommend to all.
Interesting, enlightening, and useful.......2005-07-17
I was a hard sell when given this book. I was concerned that it was going to offer One Big Excuse for sorry teen-age behavior. I was already seeing the headlines: Teen Not Guilty; It wasn't his fault; His PFC made him do it!
Instead, I learned a great deal from this book. I wish the science had been there years ago. Besides getting a peek into the seemingly unfathomable teen-age brain, Walsh gave valuable information about how to handle the problems that come up as a result of the difficult transition known as adolescence. I see this information not so much as an excuse for poor behavior as it is a guide to lead people away from it. I recommend this book to teachers or anyone who has a child younger than 25!
Book Description
he U.S. Census Bureau estimates that 11 million households contain teenagers who engage in acts of violence, truancy, promiscuity, and substance abuse.Dr. Sells gives parents the power to make lasting changes with seven proven, practical steps:1. Learn the real reasons for teen misbehavior2. Make an ironclad contract to stop that behavior3. Troubleshoot future problems4. End button-pushing5. Stop the seven acesfrom disrespect to threats of violence6. Mobilize outside help7. Reclaim lost love within the family.Dr. Sellss compassionate guide offers a lifeline to parents who want to help their children but dont know how.
Customer Reviews:
Not very realistic.......2007-10-16
We would have a problem applying some of the heavy techniques in this book for our moderately out-of-control kids. I think this is a good book for those with seriously out of control teenagers. However for both the serious and less serious cases, some of the recommendations in the book are just too unrealistic, and a little repetitive.
Horrid !.......2007-09-04
This book was recommended by a therapist while we were struggling with our soon to be 15 year old at the time. It was devasting. The concepts and suggestions are embarressing, insulting and degrading to teenagers and show no respect for their individualism, personal struggles or pain. Neither does it truly take into account how many of these teenagers have special needs that need to be considered with patience, humility and self restraint on the part of Authoritarian parents. It is rough having an out of control child. It hurts the entire family and many tears are shed but to further alienate these children is offensive. I know. I did it. I read the book and threw it out. After too much money spent on therapy and programs and taking advice from too many school counselors I found
"Positive Discipline For Teenagers" by Jane Nelson and Lynn Lott. What a concept! Respect these Teenagers! A year ago I was worried my son might end up in jail. Today I'm worried if he is getting enough protein! He is a conscientious cheerfull young man who respects life, is a Vegan and spends time on his own learning to control his anger and disabilities and discusses openly with his Father and I.Thanks to Jane and Lynn for their wonderful book.
Get "Positive Discipline for Teenagers" before your child hits puberty and stay clear of "Parenting Your Out of Control Teenager". Learn to respect and love each other now.
A great Buy!.......2007-08-09
A must buy for beneficial strategic parenting info! Good information to help recognize various behavioral patterns.
This book is a must have.......2007-05-31
I would recommend this book to any parent having trouble with their teenager or even preteen. I had bought a couple of other books that were recommended by my son's couselor, but I saw this one and it is by far the best book out there.
Fabulous!!!!!.......2007-05-08
I have learned so much from this book! I would recomend it to any one with kids. (they will be teens one day!) Kids don't have to be out of control before you look for advice. We all could use a little know how before we get to the out of control point. Thank you Scott P. Sells!!!!
Amazon.com
Lucy Jo Palladino defines the Edison Trait (named after Thomas Edison) as divergent vs. convergent thinking. Edison Trait kids--one in five children--have the qualities that make innovative leaders, inventors, explorers, yet they often have a hard time in school where their personality traits may be seen as weak or negative. Palladino recasts these children in a positive light and gives specifics on understanding and becoming an ally for your Edison Trait child. The book is convincing, reassuring, and accessible. Perhaps it will help parents of nonconforming kids resist the pressure to make their kids "just fit in."
Book Description
"My daughter lives in her own world, sitting in the back of the classroom, doodling unicorns. She's a bright kid who's getting lost. How do we reach her?"
"My son can program my laptop, but I have to hound him constantly to do the simplest things. How can I motivate him?"
"My kid has to get his own way. And he's always racing around, always on the go. How can such a smart kid be so hard to live with?"
Millions of children--one in five--have what psychologist Lucy Jo Palladino, Ph.D., calls the Edison trait: dazzling intelligence, an active imagination, a free-spirited approach to life, and the ability to drive everyone around them crazy. They have the raw talent to succeed in our fast-paced, information-rich, techno-magic world. But, unbridled, their talent also brings conflict into their lives. Edison-trait kids excel at thinking
divergently, brimming over with one idea after the other. However, schools, organized activities, and routines of daily living reward
convergent thinking, which seeks to focus on one idea at a time. Parents and teachers get frustrated by the Edison-trait child's apparent intractability and lack of focus. A mismatch between school and child can mask the child's considerable gifts for creativity and independent thinking.
Drawing on examples from over two decades of private practice, Dr. Palladino helps parents, teachers and others appreciate this challenging aspect of their child's intellect and personality. She distinguishes and describes the three main styles of the Edison trait.
Dreamers live in their own world, following no one's schedule but their own.
Discoverers insist on learning about and experiencing the world firsthand.
Dynamos are full of energy, with a flair for surprises, power, and speed.
A small percentage of Edison-trait kids also have Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), which puts them at even greater risk for problems in school. To address parents' concerns,
The Edison Trait includes chapters on defining, diagnosing, and treating ADD.
Thomas Edison, who flunked out of school was able to harness his talents to give the world some of its finest inventions. Today this same ability to brainstorm thrives in creative geniuses such as Maya Angelou, Bill Gates, and Ted Turner.
Dr. Palladino offers eight guidelines for parents to understand and help Edison-trait kids:
1 Believe in your child.
2 Watch what you say.
3 Build a parent-and-child team.
4 Encourage your child's interests.
5 Teach your child self-control.
6 Coach your child to learn how to achieve.
7 Take care of yourself.
8 Take care of your family.
The Edison trait is on the rise in our younger generation, who are growing up in a world of accelerated change. Dr. Palladino reveals the link between Edisonian thinking and Information Age success. She explains how Edison-trait children are born leaders of the twenty-first century. Her inspiring and reassuring book will light the way.
Customer Reviews:
Love rewires the brain.......2006-04-18
Pharmaceutical drugs are only one line of defense in treating ADD. Drugs can alter brain chemistry but the patient is fundamentally the same personality. Medication alone will only go so far. A combination of prescriptions and psychotherapy yield better long-term results. Thomas Edison owed his life to his mother who believed in him when the schools kicked him out at 6. There is something to be said about love ... love itself can rewire the brain of a "problem" child.
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DOES YOUR CHILD HAVE THE EDISON TRAIT? by Lucy Jo Palladino
He was a boy who learned only by doing. At age six, he had to see how fire worked and accidentally burned his father's barn to the ground. The next fall he began school, where he alternated between letting his mind travel to distant places and keeping his body in perpetual motion in his seat. Because he was distractible and restless, he did not last long in a formal classroom. His teacher called him "addled." Eventually, his mother had to home-school him. As an adult he would recall: "My father thought I was stupid and I almost decided I must be a dunce."
The core of his learning was his passion for experiments. As his new teacher, his mother gave his talent free rein. At the same time she infused him with the disciplines of study. With time and determination, he mastered his runaway mind. He grew up to become a prolific inventor, bringing the magic of electricity and sound recording into the world. He either invented or improved hundreds of practical conveniences. It is said that Thomas Alva Edison succeeded where others failed or never tried, because it was his nature to dare.
Today, a growing number of children have that nature to dare. Like young Edison, they are easily distracted and disorganized, but also wildly imaginative and inventive.
They have minds that are at home with meanderings and leaps of vast proportions. They make unexpected, sometimes startling, connections.
QUALITIES OF A CREATIVE MIND
There was once a man who drove a truck on a road through a town and got stuck under a bridge that had a low clearance. The men of the town gathered around the wedged truck to think of ways to dismantle the truck or the bridge. Finally, a young boy came up and asked, "Why don't you let some air out of the tires?" That is what they did, and the truck went on its way.
This was a child who had the Edison trait. He saw an element of the scene that no one else saw, because they were busily and systematically focused on what to them was relevant to the solution.
An Edison-trait child:
Expects the Unexpected
A child with the Edison trait makes sudden, astonishing connections. Because his inner critic disallows neither the ridiculous nor the sublime, he can be innovative, ingenious, and fascinating. He can see ordinary things in extraordinary ways, which is the very essence of creativity.
His sense of humor is disarming. It stems from keen perception and the ability to see things from a different perspective. Sometimes he exhibits the kind of straight-from-the-subconscious humor that makes successful stand-up comics so funny. He blurts out ideas that are just under the surface, things that most others would have automatically censored.
Thinks Autonomously
This is a child who stands up for his own ideas, especially when they are uncommon or nonconformist. He is an independent thinker and does not rely on the opinions of others to form his own judgments. In a matter of personal interest to him, he stands firm with conviction, even in the face of strong opposition.
Hyperfocuses and Persists
When the Edison-trait child is intrinsically motivated, he has formidable mental power. If he is working on a project that is his own brainstorm, he is determined, tenacious, and persevering. As if by magic, he can work for hours involved in what he is doing. He finds ways to overcome barriers; his passion sees him through. In matters of his own choosing, he has inner direction and resolve.
Is Diverse and Intense
Edison-trait children are pluralistic, nonconforming, and multifarious. Once they begin to speak on a topic of their choosing, clear your calendar ... you'll be here for a while. Flights of fancy are common. One thing leads to another, though sometimes the connections are not apparent to the rest of us.
Has a Mind That Is Holistic
The Edison-trait child notices and reacts to things from any and all directions, so he is likely to have a global sense of places he has been. Take this child to the shopping mall and he'll probably be able to lead you back to your parked car.
Lives on His Own Schedule
Time passes slowly for this child when he is not engaged in an activity of interest. Otherwise, watch out! When an Edison-trait child works on a project of his choosing, he is dedicated and determined.
Loves to Come Up with Ideas
Some do this slowly and dreamily. Others are like kernels of popcorn popping. Many do both. They have qualities of being both a whimsical Dreamer and a high-charged Discoverer or turbulent Dynamo.
DOES YOUR CHILD HAVE THE EDISON TRAIT?
All children are imaginative and enjoy make-believe, but children who have the Edison trait live even closer to their imaginations. It is their lifeblood.
Children manifest the Edison trait in various ways. Some are quiet and reserved and live in their own worlds. Others are loud, interruptive, and bold.
Your child may be a Dreamer, a Discoverer, or a Dynamo. Or he may combine features of any or all of these patterns.
Dreamers drift from place to place, on a schedule of eternal time.
Discoverers have to find things out for themselves and do things their own way.
Dynamos are always in motion, with a flair forsurprises, power, and speed.
To see how closely your child's patterns match the profile of children with this trait, take a moment and think about him since his earliest days. Then ask yourself these questions:
If your child is a Dreamer
1. Does he get absorbed or intensely involved in his own ideas much of the time?
2. Is he prone to saying things out of the blue?
3. Does he procrastinate to an extreme?
4. Are his interests and activities eclectic?
5. Does he start at least three projects for every one he finishes?
If your child is a Discoverer
1. Is he easily attracted to sights and sounds around him?
2. Is it vital for him to express his opinion?
3. Does he crave novelty, power, and excitement?
4. Is he always ready to speak, especially if you're talking?
5. When he wants his own way - which is almost always - is he relentless?
Or, if your child is a Dynamo
1. Does he get aggressive or intensely emotional about his own ideas much of the time?
2. Is some part of his body always in motion?
3. Are chances to run and climb as vital as the air he breathes?
4. Does he have boundless energy, enough for about three children his age?
5. Do you find yourself wondering if he lacks common sense?
The more "yes" answers you gave to these questions, the more reason there is for you to read on.
DREAMERS
Dreamers are mind wanderers. These Edison-trait youngsters seem to be lost in timeless space. From time to time, they have blank expressions on their faces or may look a little dazed. Actually, they are floating through one or several ideas in another realm, a world of their own.
I dwell in Possibility
A fairer house than Prose,
More numerous of windows,
Superior of doors.
Like Emily Dickinson, the author of these words, Edison-trait Dreamers are self-styled visionaries and poets. They have an ephemeral quality, a digressive style of thinking, and an inclination to see things from an unusual, even quixotic angle. In the classroom, after a lesson is taught, the Dreamer may not give the expected response, so others presume he just didn't "get it." But ask him and you'll find out that if he was tuned in, he probably "got it" all right - in an entirely unintended or uncommon way. He produces the kind of answer that makes you think twice.
Dreamers like sensory experience. They are drawn to color, sound, texture, taste, and fragrance. Often, Edison-trait Dreamers remember odd and seemingly unrelated facts and details, knowledge of an idiosyncratic nature. Seldom can they say exactly why they are drawn to these particular thoughts or recollections, but their fascination can become intense. What appears as spaciness to us is felt as absorption by them.
DISCOVERERS
Discoverers are Edison-trait adventurers who must blaze their own trail. They are high-spirited and have to see "what would happen if . . ." They are spontaneous and they must do things their own way.
Discoverers are multi-sensory, usually with a strong preference for visual input. This is a child who craves, and often creates, the stimulation of power, surprise, or diversity. He wants to explore his own ideas and express his own opinions. He wants life to keep him interested. If he does not find people stimulating, he will stimulate them, usually by provoking laughter or anger.
Discoverers like to live in the moment, without giving too much mind to what will happen in the future. Typically, they are not planners. Discoverers live with the attitude that they'll discover what's going to happen when it happens. That's what makes life interesting.
When a Discoverer is on the trail of an idea or project of his own, he feels a sense of urgency or impatience. During these times the Discoverer may "hyperfocus." He pays attention to what he is doing with an unusual degree of intensity and to the exclusion of all else. Discoverers also "multitask." Multitasking means doing more than one thing at a time. Dreamers and Dynamos hyperfocus and multitask, too. But Discoverers do it more.
DYNAMOS
Dynamos are fuel-injected speedsters. They have erratic spurts of energy. They overexcite easily, and when this happens, trouble is on the way.
In some ways, a Dynamo is also a Discoverer. He is impulsive. He acts first and thinks later. Like the Discoverer, the Dynamo loves power and speed. And like the Discoverer, the Dynamo is strong willed and immovable in his position.
The distinguishing feature of the Dynamo is his boundless physical energy. Dynamos keep their bodies in motion, one way or another, almost all the time. They walk, run, skip, kick, climb, jump, bounce, leap, bound, pounce, bolt, dash, race, sprint, dive, swim, splash, and fly.
Dynamos act with gusto and zest. They are risk takers and daredevils. And they are constantly entertaining. Life in their company is never dull.
THE EDISON TRAIT IS LIFELONG
The Edison trait is a personality characteristic. It endures. As Edison himself did, people with the trait have to make good matches between their aptitudes and their life work.
TURNING THE LIGHTS ON
As the parent of an Edison-trait child, you have probably asked yourself some variation of the following question: "If my child can recall the entire roster of the 1955 Brooklyn Dodgers, why can't he remember that eight times seven is fifty-six?"
To better understand your youngster, picture him wandering through an empty house alone. Most of the rooms are dark. One or two are well lit. When your child enters a bright room, he is filled with enthusiasm to explore. He remembers those bright rooms and develops a strong preference for them. Of course, the way you see it, he should be able to turn the lights on in any room, if only he would use the light switch. When you ask him to and he doesn't, a strain of tension develops between you.
From his point of view - and this is his house - his lights are wired differently. In the past, your Edison-trait child has tried to use the same kind of switch he sees others use, but to no avail. He senses that he doesn't operate the same way. He has a different configuration. Problems start getting solved when you work from his blueprints, not yours. You empower him to figure out his own circuitry, and the rules and methods to turn his lights on.
CONVERGENT, NO - DIVERGENT, YES
Having the Edison trait makes some things easier for your child and some things harder. The things that come easy are
Thinking up wild or unusual ideas
Standing up for, feeling strongly about, and getting involved in those ideas
Making things up, and imagining the future
Trying things out
Starting new projects
The things that come hard are
Focusing on someone else's ideas
Letting go of his own ideas
Remembering things he's been asked to do
Practicing skills repeatedly
Finishing things
The things that come easy are divergent thinking skills. In divergent thinking, one thought stimulates many others; thinking branches out. The things that come hard require convergent thinking. In convergent thinking, many thoughts reduce to a single one; thinking funnels in.
Read the lists again. It is no surprise that Edison-trait children will not shine in a typical classroom, or on the playground, or in most forms of organized sports. In settings like these, their chemistry sets them apart. They are the exceptions to our implicit rules of how children should think and perform, rules that say they should behave like uniform convergent thinkers.
CONVERGENT THINKING AS THE NORM
It is a natural human tendency to assume that all minds work the same way. We tacitly agree that all minds should naturally be able to follow through on one idea at a time, from beginning to end, with attention to detail. We call convergent thinking the norm and we presume it's what comes naturally if a brain is "normal." Divergent thinkers are viewed as having "attentional problems."
We label convergent thinking as right and divergent thinking as wrong. We base the methods we use to train our children on this premise. We expect children to focus in a linear fashion for as long as we say they should. This is true at home and at school. And at school, as class sizes get larger and children get more diverse, a teacher's tolerance for a student's divergent thinking necessarily diminishes. The same curriculum gets taught to all students in the same way and at the same pace.
The brains of Edison-trait children are misunderstood, not inferior. As students they are attentionally disadvantaged because we punish, and fail to appreciate, their unique creative slant. They get blamed for not completing desk work in the allotted time. They are scolded for not staying in their seats until recess. They are forced to work at an unsuitable tempo, and then get graded down for poor handwriting, and errors in grammar, spelling, and math facts. These outcomes are inevitable artifacts of a mismatched approach.
We teach to their weaknesses, not to their strengths. We insist that they see things our way, but we won't see things theirs. These children are stunningly divergent. They are on a quest for discovery, exploration, and stimulation. Surely we can be flexible and accommodate their style. They can and will develop convergent skins, but only if their desire to learn is protected and kindled with success.
WE CAN HELP EDISON-TRAIT CHILDREN DEVELOP SKILLS
We Can Guide Them to Motivate Themselves
These children need extra incentive and stimulating rewards. They need to experience success so that they can believe in it. They need reasons compelling enough to keep up the extra effort to get through the glass maze.
We Can Communicate - Think and Talk - in Their Language
A child with the Edison trait needs to feel he's in control. He will accept help only if it does not threaten his autonomy. He is prone to feeling crowded and seeing adults as overbearing.
The Edison-trait child is easily overwhelmed. For this reason, he needs clear direction, phrased in brief, concise messages. He needs his workload assigned in manageable portions. He needs structure, simple categories, and prominent visual cues.
For this same reason, he needs frequent breaks and relief from tension. He responds best to a calm and steady voice, devoid of emotional charge.
The Edison-trait child thinks in images and stories. He needs instruction that is attractive and captivating. He responds to metaphors and identifies with characters he likes. Creative approaches work best. Humor is a strong ally.
Your goal is to value your child's divergent thinking, while at the same time teaching and encouraging him to think convergently. With guidance and support, he will learn how to concentrate, shift focus, and do things in sequence. He'll make his own ways to organize his thoughts, words, papers, time, and money, to follow through, plan, schedule, and stay on track. He will come to appreciate conventional wisdom and the merit of reflective thought.
BRIDGES, NOT FENCES
Pretend for a moment that when babies are born, they already know how to talk. Right from the cradle: "Hello, Mother. Hello, Father. Please feed me. I'm hungry."
Now let's say 80 percent of the babies in the United States are born speaking English, but you're a parent of one of the 20 percent who speak a foreign language. You know you must help him to learn English somehow, so he can get along with everybody else. But it's clear your little guy likes his language better than yours.
He learns barely enough English to get by, but no more. He prefers the sound and the flow and the feel of his own tongue. He doesn't know how much of your language he can learn, even if he tries. And why should he try, when everyone acts as if he already should speak English fluently, and people make a bigger deal over his failures than his efforts?
At first, you forbid your child to speak his language. That doesn't work.
Next, you reward him when he speaks only English. That works some, but it's a strain on everyone.
Finally, you make a commitment to learn and appreciate the language he speaks. You enter his world - through his sounds, his words, and his expressions. You don't insult his language; you find what is beautiful and useful about it.
At the same time, you acknowledge every attempt he makes to speak English - regardless of whether he succeeds or not. You let him know you recognize his efforts and his desire to communicate with you. You tell him that you see his courage and his hard work.
And then, a funny thing happens.
The more good you see in his world, the more good he sees in yours.
You build bridges, not fences.
You become enriched by your knowledge of his language. And he grows in his motivation to learn yours.
Excerpted from Dreamers, Discoverers and Dynamos by Lucy Jo Palladino
This book is now titled Dreamers, Discoverers and Dynamos..........2005-01-28
The less expensive version of this book has a different title: Dreamers, Discoverers and Dynamos : How to Help the Child Who Is Bright, Bored and Having Problems in School.
We have been searching for The Edison Trait online today since the copy we are using is due back at the library. Fortunately we discovered that it has been retitled and is now sold as Dreamers, Discoverers and Dynamos : How to Help the Child Who Is Bright, Bored and Having Problems in School.
My wife has kept the library copy until it is overdue and has a hold on it. This is the most excited I have seen her about a book since we were married. She has found some very practical tools to help us with our children.
Will help you understand your child........2001-12-06
I now understand my child so much better after reading this book.
Helpful for dealing with bright but very difficult children........2000-12-13
This is a very compassionate book about smart but difficult to manage children. These "Edison-trait" children are spirited, passionate children who are very intense and hard to live with. The author calls them "divergent thinkers", who are very creative, imaginative, and see things in a different way than others. They have problems focusing on others' ideas and letting go of their own. School can be very frustrating for them. For example, they don't like practicing skills repeatedly. I found Chapter 12 on School to very helpful. It gives some good tips to help these children succeed at school and to feel good about themselves regarding school. There are ways that parents and teachers can help them and provide encouragement without the child feeling labeled or stigmatized. There is also a large section in the book on ADD and ADHD. The author writes "While just about all children who have ADD have the Edison trait, not all children with the Edison trait have ADD." While they share the same traits, such as being easily distracted, disorganized, and disobedient, in the child with ADD, these traits are excessive and disrupts his functioning. The problems are more severe in the ADD child. This book is very compassionate regarding the needs of the children. It provides hope for parents.
This book was comfort food for my soul!.......2000-01-21
This is the first book I have EVER found myself in. I have always been fascinated by psychology, but have never fit into anyone's theory or box. I have usually found myself relating to the negative characteristics of two opposite types in someones personality groups. My spirit was broken by well intentioned parents trying to make me fit in with what is supposed to be "normal" in our society. Lucy Jo Palladino has seen in children what so many professionals refuse to, or cannot see. I saw Dr. Palladino on TV promoting this book and was drawn to it because at that time I was beginning to see the hopelessness in my 2yr old son that I remembered feeling as a child, but never did understand. Dr. Palladino understands how my brain works. I never understood it, I just knew I was different but didn't know why. The book is invaluable now that my son is 5 and I need guidance on how to teach him self control and discipline. It's not easy, but the methods in this book help me nurture and teach to his strengths instead of trying to change the very nature of who he is. The biggest surprise in this book was that I found out my husband is also an Edison thinker, just a very different one than I am. He's a dreamer and I and my son are discoverers. By the way I don't label lightly, this book seems to be written about my family. Is there anymore out there about this? Is there any way to write to the author? I am so thankful for this book and would recommend it to anyone who thinks their child might be in this book. It could literally save their life. I am very fortunate that my attempts to check out of this world that did not accept or understand me were not successful.
Book Description
A psychologist offers peace-making strategies for parents who don't know where to turn.
The sullen, withdrawn, sarcastic teenager. The defensive, wary, and helpless parent. This book builds a bridge between the two sides--with practical and supportive advice on how to:
* Contain conflicts before they escalate into violence
* Break through the teen's verbal intimidation
* Avoid futile arguments
* Turn confrontation into communication
* Stand firm against teen rage
* Manage teen manipulation
* Build the teen's self-esteem
* Talk to teens when no one knows what to say
For ever parent who's screamed, what am I going to do with you?, this book finally provides the answer.
Customer Reviews:
Empowerment and Respect.......2007-07-21
This book is fantastic. I have spent the last ten years learning how to raise a very, very difficult child/teen. Much of what I learned in expensive therapy and specialist programs is covered in Edgette's book - and more effectively than in any of the many, many other books I've read. Stop Negotiating with Your Teen is concise and easy to understand. Edgette has a thorough understanding of these kids and the challenges they present. She doesn't try and create a standardised perfect parent. Instead she offers a practical, common sense approach to parenting that empowers parents to parent as leaders. She also helps parents to help their difficult teen make better choices. Siblings and parents alike benefit from the ensuing changes. Everyone in the family wins.
Helpful, Useful Information.......2007-07-13
I was an angry, manipulative, moody and depressed adolescent--in fact I wrote about it in my book, CONFESSIONS OF A CATHOLIC SCHOOLGIRL by Michelle Kane.
This book has some outstanding strategies that may have worked if my parents paid enough attention to me and stopped fighting with each other long enough to try some of them.
Stop Negotiating with Your Teen.......2007-06-11
Great book.... I would highly recommend this book for those parents who are at their wits end. This book offers great examples. I have used some of the suggestions in my own home setting.
That's my son you're talking about!.......2007-01-18
On the advice of my best friend (to whom I have confided my child-rearing problems for over 25 years) I bought the book - Stop Negotiating With Your Teen:Strategies for Parenting Your Angry, Manipulative, Moody or Depressed Adolescent. I did so because my teen/adult son (age 20) is all of the above. I really liked the author's writing style. She mixed real-life cases with some clear cut behavior advice as well as behavior styles the teen may use. Boy, was I surprised to learn that my son was manipulating me and that I was letting him. It was a big eye-opener for me. I heavily relied on parts of the book that I read and re-read that really applied to our situation. Each time we had an encounter I could then more clearly draw upon the author's experience and the behaviors she wanted to encourage - both my son's and mine. I can tell you it has made a difference. A particularly nasty exchange that would have left me totally defeated was instead turned into a real chance for communication because of what I learned in this book. I would highly recommend this to anyone regardless of the age or managability of your teen. I have already loaned the book to a good friend who has a teenage daughter with an anger problem and she found it so valuable. A very good resource!
Gentle reminder for common sense.......2007-01-07
If you are looking at this book, my heart goes out to you. This book doeesn't offer much in the way of a guideline, although has some nice stories that will make you feel like you're not going crazy. My real advice to you, after years of counseling, books, and true anguish of a mother, is to keep it simple. If your teen is depressed or struggling, they are not ready to respond to adult logic or reasoning. (That is why you are arguing all the time!) They need your love and compassion, but they also need consistency and consequences commensurate with their choices of actions. Pick your "must have's"...for example, must have no surliness at dinner? (That's reasonable! Especially if you have younger kids!) Surly at dinner? No cell phone or IM-ing for the rest of the evening. Don't tell them "why", or give them the platitude of "we're trying to love you, to show you, to blah blah blah"...they TRULY DON'T CARE why. Instead, make a list of choices, and their consequences...and then consistently apply them without arguing (by the way, there is no answer to "why are you doing this to me?")...end the tears, arguments and discussions. Keep it simple...your teen has enough mind games, uncertainty, pressure, frustration and communication issues at school. You should be the place where they know how it will end up, which is support, love, conveniences of home, and they also know how their choices will affect those rewards! And finally, don't blame yourself. Your teens depression and angst is a result of much, much more than the decisions you made in the past. It is what it is, and give them consistency, no arguing, and love to get through what the present is, not the past. My prayers to you and your family.
Book Description
Now in paperback! Here is the book that updates the rulebook, giving parents the training and skills they need to transform their teenage children into strong, confident, productive adults.
Customer Reviews:
What a great book!!.......2007-10-01
I was at my wits end with my 17 year-old daughter. She was acting up quite a bit and my normal reaction was anger which resulted in nothing but a lot of yelling,hurt feelings, and sleepless nights. Out of desperation, I searched for something, ANYTHING, that would help me get back on track with my daughter. This book was a God-send! I couldn't put it down. Dr. Bradley's philosophies and advice were right on target. I felt that he wrote it just for me. I applied his suggestions and what a difference it has made in my relationship with my daughter. Instead of yelling, we talk calmly. I listen, she listens. She still acts up once in awhile (after all, she's still a teenager) but I handle my reactions differently which makes her more comfortable coming to me with her problems. I sleep much better at night now. Dr. Bradley has given me so much hope that my sweet little girl is still there and we will get through these very trying times. I wish that all parents of teenagers could read this book. It is THE best.
I agree...our teens are crazy...but it is explainable!.......2007-09-23
This is one of the best books I have found to help parents understand not only what their teens are going through, but tips on responding and hope that this is only a "stage" of development...this too shall pass! As a Marriage & Family therapist, I work with many teens and their parents...I all but insist that the parents buy this book! I tell them that it is the "handbook" for parenting a teen! So many have thanked me...it becomes their guidebook through adolescence! I should receive royalties...or at least some kind of commission, don't you think?
Thanks so much for writing this book and in such an easy to read format! My only wish is that it had been available when my son was a teen!
Must-Read for all parents of teens!.......2007-08-30
I've read many parenting books, and most of them have offered excellent advice; but if you only read one parenting book in all your parenting years, this is the book to read. My husband is a youth pastor and I meet regularly with mothers of teens (we call ourselves MOTs). Together we've recommended this book more times than I can count and have purchased several copies to ensure that we always have one on hand to lend to a parents in need.
Just plain useful.......2007-06-10
I don't know if the last reviewer actually read this book. I didn't see a place in the book where parents were not held accountable for their own behavior or teens were "blamed" for much of anything. It is not a textbook on how families can function when any member is psychotic, or criminally insane, or violent, or sexually abusive. But for the vast majority of us imperfect parents who have good but imperfect kids in transition from childhood to adulthood, this book offers quite a bit of advice, that I for one, have found very helpful. I've given it to quite a few friends too, all of whom have enjoyed it.
The author calls teens "crazy" because that has been the hue and cry of many a parent. What he is saying is hyperbole, a tongue-in-cheek overstatement regarding what is known about adolescent brain development: only that it is incomplete in the teen-age years.
Pabulum for Grownups.......2007-04-12
If you're an insecure enough parent that you need Michael Bradley to tell you the whole
family problem is that just that "your teen is crazy" so that you can evade facing your own
issues, this book is for you. I worked with children, teens, and parents for 10 years
(directly in their homes on a daily basis; not, like Bradley, by seeing them in my office
once in a while), and I can tell you there are a lot more crazy grownups out there than
crazy teens. In fact, teenagers get along with their parents a lot better than parents get
along with EACH OTHER (proof: our 60% divorce rate). Last year, California law
enforcement offices responded to nearly 200,000 domestic violence cases, the vast
majority involving adults over age 30.
If Bradley can't summon empathy for the several hundred thousand children and youths
who are confirmed as violently or sexually abused by the parents every year, the several
million who live with alcoholic or addicted parents, and the tens of millions who suffer
severe family conflicts before and after their parents' separation and divorce, he needs to
get out of his comfortable office, toss his arrogant theories in the trash, and take a hard
look at the real world.
I looked up the terrifying teen statistics Bradley presents, and EVERY ONE OF THEM
IS OUTRAGEOUSLY WRONG. He (or whoever he copied) just multiplied numbers of
gun deaths, drunken driving wrecks, suicides, etc. shown by the National Center for
Health Statistics by 400% or 500% and stuck them in his book. The rest is no more
accurate. In particular, Bradley fails to mention the real statistics: ages 35-54 (the parents)
now have soaring violent death rates far above those of high schoolers. A teenager is
twice as likely to have a parent get into a drunken accident, three times more likely to
suffer a parent who commits suicide, 10 times more likely to have a parent die from an
illicit-drug overdose than the other way around. Bradley can't seem to see this--and he
incessantly trashes teens as "crazy"?
Reading this book was like listening to stereotypical seventh-grade alphas ridiculing the
"retards." Bradley's name-calling is so obsessive--he berates teenagers as "crazy,"
"stupid," "nuts," and brain-damaged in frenzied repetition on nearly every page--that it's
pathological. He sounds confident and tough, but this book is ultra-permissive when it
comes to ignoring the rotten adult behaviors that underlie rotten teenage behaviors.
Having said this, I respect and admire good parents. Good parents know they're not the
blameless victims Bradley excuses and that conflicts with teens are nearly always a
two-way street. Parents who need help maturely seek it from therapists who will hold all
parties accountable, not just encourage them to dismiss every problem with their
teenagers as caused by their "large, brain-dysfunctioned children." It's no accident that
arrogant, tough-sounding books like this are popular in a time when grownup
misbehaviors and disarray are skyrocketing and kids are dealing with more troubled
families than ever. After reading authors like this, I wonder if the never-mentioned side of
"brain science"--the deterioration in key memory and learning genes and loss of cells that
accelerates after age 40--is causing the real craziness we should be worried about.
Book Description
FAM013000
Customer Reviews:
And this makes sense why?.......2007-08-27
So, if I'm to believe this book, I'm supposed to let my teenager (17 yr. old step-son)do whatever he wants. Whenever and however he wants. With no consequences. While I just cover my eyes, plug my ears and let him run wild? Pretend he's not being an abusive, entitled, disrespectful, disobedient, unruly, unlawful, dishonest monster? Can you say Anarchy?
When I hit the part where it blames the parents if their kid steals from them, because they *gasp* had the audacity to leave their own belongings out in their own house...it was time to toss it in the trash. This one could have been written BY a teenager. It's a perfect "how-to" book for getting away with murder (figuratively, of course.)
How is letting the kid run wild, with no fear of consequences, no guidance, no advice, preparing that kid for the real world? Sure, if kids actually LEARN from their mistakes, it's a wonderful thing. But when there's no consequences, what can they possibly be learning? And before somebody jumps in and tells me getting kicked out of school or getting arrested will teach them anything...let me ask YOU...is it the school's or the police's job to raise our kids? Or is it OURS?
I raised two teens myself, NOT in this manner, thank goodness. And they're both now happy, well adjusted, educated, contributing members of society. While on the other hand, my husband's ex raised their kids THIS way...ignored them and let them run wild. They've ended up with a compulsive liar, who also steals and does drugs, and a shoplifting pot smoker, who also lies daily. One can't hold a job to save his life, the other is mean and abusive. Why? Because they CAN. Nobody cared enough to teach them it wasn't OK to act like that.
This book (in my own humble opinion, of course) is a big 'ol cop-out for parents who don't want to put in the hard work raising their own kids.
A new perspective.......2005-11-20
This book helped the situation with my 17 yr old son. A lot of what is in this book goes directly against everything I've ever thought about parenting and it was scary for me at first, but I was desprate and we've had some positive changes because of these techniques. It took a few months, but he's back in school (he was ditching frequently), passing his classes (he was failing them all) and coming home on time every night (he was usually late or wouldn't come home at all). Basically, I've been trying to parent my teenager as if he were still a child. This book helped me to understand that it is natural for teenagers to become independent and, in fact, becoming independent is what they are supposed to be doing. The problem has been that I have been trying to direct my son to go in what I see as the right direction, and so the only way he can feel independent is to choose something different than what I want, even when that means making bad choices. Instead, this book advised me to let him find his own choices, within the boundaries of not taking advantage of me. It was scary, and I had my doubts (I felt like I was copping-out, giving up, taking the easy way out, etc) but this book has definitely helped our situation. Plus, now I feel like a person again instead of a warden.
Thinking back to when I was a teenager, I don't think there was any amount of intervention/ restriction/ punishment/ behavioral contracts/ trips to rehab that would have stopped me from doing what I wanted to do. I always found my first response to anything my parents wanted was to reject it totally and then think of reasons to support the rejection afterwards. I was a bad kid, but not because of bad parents or emotional distress...it was just my way of growing up. This book effectively addresses that mindset. Very insightful.
restore your sanity -- great parenting book!.......2005-02-06
This is probably the most helpful book on parenting I have ever read. I gave up on parenting books about 5 years ago when I realized the cookie-cutter approaches were not easily applied to my (and my son's) non-cookie-cutter lives! I purchased this book based on a review of a different book, where this book was recommended instead. I am really glad I did because from the very first exercise, it improved my whole outlook on my life with my teen.
The authors suggest to read the book through cover to cover first, then go through it chapter by chapter, working the exercises. I'm about half-way through the first read and I have already used many of the exercises (unofficially) to help me put things into perspective, regain sanity when teenage craziness is in full swing and have even used it in dealing with my ex-husband (who often acts like an adolescent!).
I have a great kid and a great life. This book helps remind me of that and also to know that I am not alone!
Only self-help book that ever helped.......2004-03-18
My ex-wife and I read this book almost 20 years ago, when our two kids were teenagers. Our daughter, the eldest, was acting up (and out)--breaking curfew, staying out, experimenting with different substances, generally going through a volatile adolescence--normal "individuating," it turned out (thank God), but it was driving her mother and me crazy because we lived apart and both worked full-time. Two employed adults are no match for one teenager intent on getting her way. We were at the end of our tethers trying to keep tabs on her. Somehow we found out about HOW TO DEAL WITH YOUR ACTING UP TEENAGER. We both read it, decided it made sense and was worth a try, and had a family meeting with both our kids. We told them we wanted to try a new way of parent-kid relations that basically boiled down to, mutual respect. When we told them we were going to stop trying to control them--ground them, harass them about schoolwork and grades, etc.--they looked at us suspiciously. Was this some kind of trick? Some sort of parental sting operation? No, no, we assured them, we were on the level. And it worked. Our daughter stopped driving us crazy, we stopped driving her crazy, and relations improved. I can say unequivocally that this is the only self-help book that has ever actually helped me (and I've read a few). I recommend it without qualification. The authors, as I recall, were parents themselves as well as psychologists, and brought both their practical and academic experience to bear. Bless them both. I still tell people about this book when I hear about problems with adolescence, and am glad it's still available.
MY highest praises for this one.......2002-07-26
A wonderful book for moms and dads who are wondering how their kids got so out of control...MAYBE its been your approach. Robert and Jean Bayard offer up a very loving parenting approach. Im giving this to my husband to read and then I'm going to read it a second time. One of the most intellegent books I have read on the subject.
Book Description
Is your teenager stressing over college admittance? Are you? Co-written by a top college admissions dean and a leading pediatrician, this first-of-its-kind book delivers strategies for surviving the admissions process while strengthening parent-child relationships, managing the stress of applying to college, and building resilience to meet challenges today and in the future. Less Stress, More Success is just what parents and teens need to thrive during this important rite of passage into adulthood.
For parents…
• How to encourage true high achievement, rather than perfectionism
• Important dos and don’ts about the admissions process and how you can most effectively help your child
• Why and when some forms of “helping” undermine both self-confidence and chances of admission
• How to turn deadlines into opportunities to learn time-management and organization skills
• How you can encourage positive strategies for handling stress and building resilience
For teens…
• How to evaluate campus culture to find the right fit for you
• Ways to manage your parents and your friends
• Tips for the college interview
• Letting your true, authentic self come through in your paperwork
• How your body handles stress…and what you can do to feel better and stay healthy
• Includes a Personalized Stress Management Plan to customize for yourself
Customer Reviews:
Educator/College Counselor.......2007-08-23
Finally, a well thought out book for parents thinking about the college process! My favorite story is early in the book setting the tone for a great and helpful read. Early on, the author is clear that the process is out of control for many parents. As the Admissions Director for MIT, she makes it clear not to worry about college until it is time, rather than picking your preschool with intent to head to the IVYies....This book really tells us there is much more to learn on this road and truly this book is all about that journey in a healthier way!
Definitely worth the read.......2007-05-07
I found this book to be useful. The author had several suggestions that we had not thought of and facts we were not aware of. The whole college admissions process is way harder than when I went through it, and I would say, there is a lot of negative as far as I can see. Her book is encouraging that the process can be a positive one, if you can step out of the frenzy that most other kids and parents seem to be embroiled in. The only reason I gave it 4/5 stars instead of 5 is because I felt there was some conflicting information between our school's college counselors and her and that's confusing.
Every parent of a high school junior should buy her book today........2007-05-04
Ms. Jones's advice on how the parents of high school juniors and seniors can reduce stress in the college admissions process is spot on.
I was lucky enough to receive Ms. Jones's advice when she spoke to a standing-room-only crowd at our Boston area high school. For those not so lucky, you can obtain the advice in her book, coauthored with pediatrician Kenneth R. Ginsburg.
Parents - and their children - will benefit from Jones's advice for two reasons: 1. Jones explains WHY current parents are so hyper about the admissions process (partly due to the fact that we parents are from the generation which mistakenly believes we can accomplish anything!) 2. And Jones gives practical advice on HOW each parent can reduce their child's stress in the admission process, including actions that can be easily implement right away.
Every parent of a high school junior or senior should buy her book today.
Less Stress, More Success: A New approach to Guiding Your Teen Through College Admissions and Beyond.......2007-02-13
Really grounded for both parents and teens. A must to read before any other books on college, including the guides to colleges. This gets you centered on what is important and aligns your values; then you can focus on the facts about colleges. A great duo.....a college admissions dean and a pediatrician....both care deeply about kids and speak to what they need.
One of two great books for stressed out parents.......2006-08-24
As parents who have seen many of our friends completely lose perspective as their kids apply to college, my wife and decided that we would not go down that road when our time came. Forget all the books that imply they will get your child into a "brand name" school. It's about discovering together a place where they can grow, and strenghtening your relationship as you launch them toward their future. In the name of sanity, I recommend this book (and also a great one our own pediatrician recommended, "Getting In Without Freaking Out.") Stop hovering -- start helping your kids by not imposing your agenda.
Amazon.com
Child psychologists Robert Brooks and Sam Goldstein are too humble to promise a "sure bet" method for fostering resilience in all children, but their book Raising Resilient Children certainly does an impressive job of upping the ante. The authors open their comprehensive study with two bold questions: Why do many parents insist on pointing out their child's weaknesses and try--in vain--to mend these, when harnessing the child's strengths bolsters self-esteem? And how can parents change their erring ways to help these kids become thoughtful, confident adults? Their answer is a wisely crafted set of 10 essential parenting behaviors ("guideposts")--a prescription of sorts, for nurturing resilience in kids. Ironically, it's the parents who may reap the greatest rewards from putting these guideposts to work.
Drawing heavily from 50 years of combined clinical practice, Brooks and Goldstein conclude that a child's resilience grows its deepest roots in the home, nurtured by parents who incorporate healthy doses of empathy, practical optimism, respect, unconditional love, keen listening skills, and the patience to administer these values every day. Sounds logical, but the gap between knowledge and action is deceptively wide. The authors knowingly share a caseload of tales from their own clients' histories--familiar scenarios of well-meaning parents who say and do counterproductive things. But they also present a treasury of suggestions for righting the wrongs, including detailed steps for rewriting negative parenting scripts, teaching and modeling empathy, and creating opportunities for kids to act responsibly and compassionately. This timely, insightful book will prove an effective tool for parents who are willing to scrutinize--and improve upon--their own resilience. --Liane Thomas
Book Description
TOP CHILD PSYCHOLOGISTS OFFER EXPERT INSIGHT AND PRACTICAL ADVICE FOR RAISING STRONG KIDS IN TODAY'S COMPLICATED WORLD
"Thoughtful and sound in its approach, practical and clear in its suggestions, direct and supportive in its tone, Raising Resilient Children is the perfect book for parents searching for a caring method to help their children grow into healthy, happy, loving, and mature adults."William Pollack, Ph.D., author of Real Boys
". . . the down-to-earth strategies ensure this title will be used as well as read . . . truly valuable material." Publishers Weekly
" . . . a remarkable book that pulls together the research on resilience and makes it readable, understandable, and practical."Work and Family Life
"A very important work. This not-to-be-missed book debunks the paradigm ('Good enough for me: I turned out OK') and replaces it with a new model fostering resilience capable of meeting obstacles head-on."Library Journal (starred review)
Download Description
In the tradition of such important books as Raising Ophelia and Emotional Intelligence, Raising Resilient Children is an engaging and wise work that will revolutionize parenting.
Customer Reviews:
The Most Helpful Book I Ever Read.......2007-04-12
I would recommend this book to any mother but especially mother's of young children who feel their kids or their lives with their kids aren't what they imagined they would be. This book helps you love the child you've got without any "but if you'd onlys." This book shows you the possibility of unconditional love and appreciation for your child that can be mixed with guidance and strengthening support.
A mother of two school aged children LOVES THIS BOOK.......2006-11-21
I must say I'm tempted to give away every single other parenting book I own. This book is the first book to ever "speak" to me. I've spent some time trying to figure out why this book touched me so much. It hit me - resilience is the BIG picture - I CAN operate and understand the big picture and then apply it to my life as a parent. I've spent most of my life as a parent searching for solutions to the little picture problems which change daily and spontaneously. I was never ready.
Reading Dr. Brooks' philosophy made me want more than ever to adequately prepare my children for the joys and upsets of life and in two short weeks I'm beginning to feel prepared to do so. In the moments of chaos I feel more connected to the long term and my parenting has changed. Funny how my heart seems to have grown for our two adorable kids as well.
Case Study after Case Study.......2006-05-11
Oy! If I have to read one more 'great save' case by these authors/psychologists, I will pull out my hair. This book was one case study after another outlining in great detail what their patients said and did and how wonderfully the authors managed to break through in each case, solving all problems for the troubled family, leaving them all happy and saved as the doctors ride gloriously into the sunset. Ugh! I wanted more substance, more "this is what you need to do". There was plenty of good advice in this book, but usually it came in the first sentence or at the end of a case study. By the end of the book, I was skipping all the case studies and just searching around for the moral of the story and looking for their not bad advice. I think if the authors had simply printed out their observations and suggestions in outline form, the book would be much more helpful and most importantly, shorter.
Sensible Guidance towards Positive Change.......2005-04-05
I just had the pleasure of hearing author, Robert Brooks speak at our school about nurturing sef-esteem and resilience in our children. I found his parent friendly book to have the same warm tone that he conveys in person. His lessons and opinions are documented with true case studies and anecdotes from his professional career and peppered with a welcome sense of humor. I am learning to be a more authoritative parent with the specific, practical guidance offered in this book and I see a definite positive change in the way we as parents are communicating with our children. This book has been the key tool in helping us empower our grade school children (10 and 12) with a better attitude towards adversity. If you have toddlers or preschoolers (2's, 3's, 4's, & 5's), we also highly recommend "The Pocket Parent" as a very compatible guide to "Raising Resilient Children". Both books view "Discipline" and "Punishment" as very different procedures and both offer many positive strategies to communicate and discipline (teach children right from wrong) WITHOUT yelling, bribing, nagging, threatening, criticising and punishing. The authors of both books feel we often spend too much time remediating the weaknesses of our children and not enough time identifiying their strengths and seeing that they have ample opportunities to succeed in what they are passionate about and good at. Both authors believe that it is not only important what you need to say to your children, but HOW you choose to say it that can make the difference. We recommend both "RAISING RESILIENT CHILDREN" and "THE POCKET PARENT" for home and school libraries for parents.
For parents' workshops, perhaps for teacher in-service ed..........2003-06-25
This curriculum workbook springs from Goldstein's and Brooks' book, Raising Resilient Children, which (for some reason I do not know) is no longer available through Amazon.com (you would have to buy it used). (Perhaps the authors are planning a second edition?)
This is a 9-week course covering: (1) Teaching and conveying empathy; (2) re-writing negative scripts; (3) Discplining in ways that promote self-discipline and growth; (4) Making decisions, solving problems; (5) loving children in ways that help them feel special and appreciated; (6) learning from mistakes; (7) Expecting success, "islands of competence"; (8) hope and courage.
It is accompanied by a video tape (not available from Amazon.com) but which would be good for persons planning parent groups or in-service for teachers.
The age-group that the authors write about is children, but with some modifications (especially with discipline) it could be applied to adolescents.
This book is an easy beginning to the practical aspects of resilience education. It is graphically good looking and substantively good.
Book Description
If you're a parent of one of the more than one million children in this country with obsessive-compulsive disorder, you know how confusing, even frightening, the symptoms of OCD can be. You're terrified of losing your child and angry about the havoc this disorder has wreaked in your family. More than anything, you want to be able to unlock the secrets of OCD, understand the cause of your child's bizarre symptoms, and help your child break free of these disruptive, relentless thoughts and actions.
In her landmark book,
Freeing Your Child from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Dr. Tamar E. Chansky creates a clear road map to understanding and overcoming OCD based on her successful practice treating hundreds of children and teenagers with this disorder. In Part I, Dr. Chansky "cracks the code" of the peculiar rules and customs of OCD -- the handwashing, tapping, counting, and so forth. She explains how OCD is diagnosed, how to find the right therapist partner, and how to tailor treatment options to your child's needs. You'll learn how powerful behavioral modification can be and when medication can help. In Part II, you'll learn how not to be pulled in by your child's debilitating rituals at home or at school, how to talk to your child about the "brain tricks" OCD causes, and how to create an effective OCD battle plan that will empower your child to "boss back" the OCD monster. You'll also learn how to cope in moments of crisis.
Part III offers specific advice for how to help your child handle the most common manifestations of OCD such as fears of contamination, checking, getting things "just right," intrusive thoughts, and more. Part IV is an indispensable guide to additional resources, including books, videos, organizations, and websites.
Filled with Dr. Chansky's compassionate advice and inspiring words from the many children with OCD whom she has helped, this book will be your lifeline. Battling back from OCD is hard work, but with the comprehensive, proven guidance in this book, you can help your child reclaim a life free from its grip.
Customer Reviews:
Essential, helpful information on OCD and your role as a parent........2007-09-15
This book was recommended by my 9 year old daughter's counselor as a guide for parents and it definitely hits the mark for me. Beginning with 'What is OCD' and moving towards the 'What to do if you suspect OCD', this book is written in a clear, detailed way. I found myself slowly reading, and sometimes re-reading sections of the book prior to moving forward. It's filled with a lot of information. Take your time and soak it in and build on your knowledge.
Eventually you will get to sections of the book that focus on treatment and what parents can do to assist their children in combating OCD. The book alone will not 'fix' OCD, but it helps guide you to recognize it and what you can do; as a parent, to help your child. The book lets you know you are not alone and there is hope for getting your child, family and life back on track and away from OCD's grasp.
I have shared this book with my daughter's grandparents and her teachers. It really has helped us all to gain knowledge as to what is OCD, and how we can not let this bully take away the joyful spirit of those who are dear to us.
So helpful as a companion to therapy.......2007-06-30
If your child is suffering from OCD and you're exploring therapy, this book should help reinforce the behavior therapy techniques that will be taught to get the disorder under control. You'll learn exactly what kinds of things to say and what not to in a crisis moment. This book made me feel like there is hope, and it has helped enormously.
Excellent, practical help for parents of children with OCD.......2007-02-22
Helps children fight back the sypmtoms of OCD, and provides parents with realistic hope and techniques that can benefit the entire family. A must read for parents
Not recommended.......2007-01-25
I wouldn't recommend this book. It is written for very serious Obsessive-Compulsive Disorders, not for someone who would be treating their child at home without a professional's help. In which case, if your child's case is serious enough to warrant a professional's help you wouldn't need this book because your doctor would teach you what you need to be doing. I also disagree with certain methods suggested in this book, including telling your child that they have the problem. I disagree with sticking labels on children that they then have to live with their entire lives. In my opinion, you should definitely explain to your child that the BEHAVIOR is incorrect, and then guide them to correcting it, but I don't agree that you should tell them "you have OCD". It's not necessary to have the label in order to treat it. Just my opinion.
Need help for yourself and child? You will find it here!.......2007-01-13
If you are just starting to learn about and handle OCD then you must get this book.
This resource kept us going while looking for competent professional help. The book gives advice on how to find a pro that knows how to treat OCD based on research proven techniques (and what/who to avoid!).
Have you lost or are you losing hope? Don't! Buy this book and apply what you learn PLUS find someone that knows what they are doing to help!
You and your child can and will "find joy" again and this book is a great starting point!
Adolescent Psychology
| Psychology & Counseling
| Health, Mind & Body
| Subjects
| Books
Staying Connected to Your Teenager: How to Keep Them Talking to You and How to Hear What They're Really Saying
Yes, Your Teen is Crazy!: Loving Your Kid Without Losing Your Mind
Stop Negotiating With Your Teen: Strategies for Parenting Your Angry, Manipulative, Moody, or Depressed Adolescent
Positive Discipline for Teenagers (Positive Discipline)
The Primal Teen: What the New Discoveries about the Teenage Brain Tell Us about Our Kids
