Book Description
The number one seller in the market, this mainstream marriage and family text combines a balanced scholarly and applied approach with a unique theme, "making choices in a diverse society" The text achieves an excellent balance between the sociological and ecological or family systems theoretical perspectives, while including coverage of family dynamics and interpersonal relationships. Lamanna and Riedmann's coverage offers insightful perspectives on diversity, including different ethnic traditions and marriage and family alternatives.
Customer Reviews:
Marriages & Families: Making Choices in a Diverse Society .......2007-09-16
this book is a course book,it has what I needed for the course,it was in excellent condition upon receipt. Thank you for your prompt service w/the delivery of this book
Interracial relationship data in book is biased.......2004-12-29
I study close relationships of all kinds regardless of race. I have noticed something troubling about books such as yours. I have noticed many texts are off base or one sided when discussing heterogamous or "interracial" relationships involving black men. Rather than present a balanced picture of heterogamous relationships within the black community, the authors of this text deliberately took a stance which casts a negative shadow on black men in heterogamous relationships even going so far as to quote an article in a popular magazine as a source. This is a text book. There's no room for unsupported opinions from popular media. All arguments should be fairly presented and documented with a diversity of academic sources because you're influencing the minds of students who are relying upon your "expertise."
One ludicrous claim in this text was the notion that black men trade successful positions in society for white women of lower status in order to gain status. This is a very old myth that only perpetuates negative stereotypes of black men. Studies have found NO correlation of that type, it's just a pernicious myth! (Golden, 1954; Heer, 1974; and Monahan; 1976). Think about it rationally. When you consider the stares, negative comments and potential social isolation black men who marry outside of their race experience, do you honestly see that as raising status? The reality of the situation renders the "status" argument moot and demonstrates it is a ridiculous assumption.
Please stop printing these damaging unsupported myths about black men!
Other than this grossly distorted section, the book was a good overview of marriage and family issues within our culture.
Book Description
A fully revised and updated edition of the essential guide for men and women moving through the turmoil of divorce.
Customer Reviews:
Great Insight.......2007-08-23
I am going through my first divorce and this book has really explained well how I got there in the first place. There are many stories that relate to different kind of situations. It is an easy read and would be helpful for people who would like to know why they are feeling the way that they feel. I highly recommend it.
great book for anyone getting divorced.......2007-03-08
This book helps reassure you that there is a happy life possible after a divorce and that the mood swings and crazy feelings are normal. I have given this book to several of my friends, as well as using it myself.
Ending the Roller Coaster Ride.......2007-02-14
Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life has just the right tone to help someone stop playing the blame game and start healing. This book is an excellent tool for understanding the anguished feelings that arise when going through a divorce. I recommend adding this volume to the repertoire of anyone dealing with the traumatic divorce or separation situation.
Very Informative, Interesting Book.......2007-02-06
The author experienced a divorce and shares her story in the prologue. The book provides the reader with many case studies chronicling divorce in great detail. The stories touch on the emotional impact of divorce from the beginning to well after the divorce in over. I found this book to be very helpful.
Useful when divorcing.......2007-01-06
This is not the "bible" - as someone told me it would be - for those getting divorced, but it is useful. It's more a smattering and a general commentary than it is a guide. What should I do? - the book sometimes answers that but not always. Does provide good insights.
Book Description
Love may be sweeter the second time around, but once the bliss of a newfound relationship wears off a little, the reality of being part of a stepfamily sets in. If you are one of the millions of remarried Americans facing the challenge of blending two existing families into one cohesive whole, you are part of a stepcouple—and you know all too well how hard it can be to make your marriage work in sometimes tough terrain.
Different parenting styles, finances, relationships with ex-spouses, legal matters, and even seemingly simple issues such as the kinds of chores assigned to children can chisel away at your union if you don’t always make your marriage a priority.
Stepcoupling offers advice for stepcouples on how to do just that—all the while strengthening their blended family with a healthy marriage. Susan Wisdom and Jennifer Green provide tips and strategies on dealing with the issues remarried couples face, with a wealth of advice from real-life stepcouples, such as:
* Learning to tailor your expectations of your spouse or children and remembering that no family is perfect
* Knowing where your boundaries are, whether involving a hostile ex-spouse or a stepchild who demands too much attention
* Realizing that traits like flexibility, tolerance, forgiveness, and openness are especially essential in a stepfamily situation
* Making “us” time for talking, problem-solving, weekends away, and enjoying your marriage to constantly renew and strengthen your bond as a couple
Let this invaluable remarriage manual help you make your stepcouple the foundation of a strong, happy, and successful stepfamily.
Customer Reviews:
Love it.......2007-08-28
It's a Great Book , it just cuts to the chase. Very Very helpful. Highly Recommend
MUST Read - Love It!!.......2007-04-23
MUST read!! Anyone who is in a relationship with someone who has children this is a great book, even if the relationship does not seem serious or long lasting. I am only half way thru and the examples, insights, the feelings, and the understanding from all sides of what takes place in a blended family is great!! Also, gives recommendations to ways to improve, the things to try, what worked & did not work for many in a blended family. I thought I knew a lot coming from a blended family but becoming a step mother was and is very difficult. My 3 yr marriage is on the rocks & I wish I had this book when we first started dating. I love my husband and I am using this book to help me understand better and I hope is it not too late to save my marriage.
Stepcoupling: Creating and sustainig a Strong Marriage in Today's Blended Family.......2007-03-08
This an excellent book for step-family orientation. It is also provides superb information about what a maariage should be.
Wonderful and Inspiring Book...Especially the Last Two Chapters!.......2007-02-09
This is a wonderful and valuable book for anyone currently in a stepfamily or contemplating a remarriage with children involved. The last two chapters stick out in my mind the most, especially the second to the last Chapter - Empowering Everyone. The stories and insights shared throughout the book are very honest and inspiring. The fact that the author wrote this book based on her own personal experience and was willing to share so much of her own struggle and challenges in her stepfamily, make it very believable and easy to read. It's nice to get advice from someone who has actually been there and has experienced some of the same things you are struggling with.
I would say that I can relate to many of the situations covered in this book and chuckled when I ran across some that I had also gone thru but didn't know how to handle. This book is easy to read and very understandable and gives me hope and a new perspective on my situation. I would encourage anyone thinking of creating a stepfamily to read this book and to hang onto it - you'll need it along the way. My husband is reading it now!
The Best One Out There.......2007-01-31
I am a clinical social worker in private therapy practice. I purchased this book three years ago to help a family with whom I was working in therapy. Since then, I have quoted the highlighted passages from my own copy numerous times in sessions, and have loaned the book out so many times that a client finally bought me a newer copy, as a gift for helping her family so much. The best thing about this book is how it highlights the couple relationship. Blended family couples finally have support in creating the foundation for success. Many texts about blending families and helping children deal with divorce focus on how the "children should come first", to the exclusion of what is necessary to keep the adults healthy. Children's needs are certainly paramount, but often that belief feeds a system wherein parents are almost forced to create a triangulated situation between their biological children and their new spouse. This book clearly explains how to avoid that triangulation, and to keep the power where it belongs: with the two adults in the home, as a team. As a structural family therapist, this book helps me to show parents what we mean when we talk about the "executive power system" in the family. In order to have healthy blended families, it is absolutely essential to have a strong parent couple in each family. This book helps the reader with the myths and misconceptions of "step-families", which are really better termed "blended families". It gives good suggestions on how to deal with "the exes" -- the other parents of the children in your home. It addresses the "yours, mine and ours" issues that come up when blended families add more kids to the family. It also addresses special considerations that need to be made when one parent has died. The message of hope throughout this book makes it easy to read and truly finish, especially for parents in busy families. The personal stories from parents in blended families give the reader the sense that they are not alone, and that it will get better. I highly recommend this book, for every blended family parent, and every family therapist working with blended families.
Book Description
Using the same structure as Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott address the unique issues of "pre-remarital" families. This book prepares couples for what lies ahead and enables them to tackle the challenges with faith, perseverance, and hope.
Customer Reviews:
I love this book!.......2007-01-19
I love this book because it is so helpful! It has given me peace during a time that brings up bad memories.
Must Read for Couples Thinking of Remarriage.......2005-07-16
As a pastor of over 25 years, I have used several books as part of a pre-marital counseling regiment. Drs. Les and Leslie Parrotts' books are the best, by far! Not only do the Man's and Woman's Workbooks (I suggest ordering them with the book) make premaritial counseling simpler, I have found that this book hits the nail on the head. Couples who went through the "Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts" material in preparation for marriage thanked me after they were married, and they shared how valuable this material was in the daily grind of life.
This volume adds additioanl material to address the compexities of a Blended Family. Although blended family issues cannot be dealt with thoroughly, the Parrotts share the most important considerations (and offer other resource suggestions on page 186, footnote 6).
I first heard the authors at a Moody Pastor's Conference in the late 1990's. It did not take me long to determine that I would check out their books. I have since concluded that Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott are exceptional in the realm of understanding human relationships.
Althogh the book is written by a godly Christian couple, this is more of a relational book than a spiritual one, so I would not consider it a complete pre-marital regiment, but a good anchor book. Couples already married (even for years) will find this material valuable as well (and will kick themselves for not having read it earlier).
Whether used in counseling or simply read by a couple in their own quest to prepare for marriage, this book is a gem. The Drs. Parrott seem to have a realistic (and well documented) grasp on the nature of marriage and the additional complexities of bringing children into a new blended family. This is practical, hands on material.
The book is arranged around 9 questions: Are you ready to get married again? Have you faced the myths of marriage with honesty? Can you identify your love style? Have you developed the habit of happiness? Can you say what you mean and understand what you hear? Have you bridged the gender gap? Do you know how to fight a good fight? Do you know how to blend a family? and Are you and your partner soul mates? This is basically the 7 questions from "Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts" with two additional questions added to tackle a blended family, thus, "Saving Your SECOND Marriage..."
Of course no couple entering marriage could honestly answer all those questions with a "yes." But the book provides a good start and helps couples begin to face reality and potential areas of growth.
If a couple follows the exercises by purchasing the workbooks, (like identifying some of your own personal "commandments"--rules you live by that you picked up who knows where and expect your spouse to know and agree with), it could preclude many potential tensions later.
To those of you considering a second marriage, go through this book together, and cosider at least some of the exercises in the workbooks. To pastors and Christian counselors, I urge you to read this volume and consider using it!
Insightful, practical advice.......2003-07-01
My soon-to-be husband and I used this series as our premarital counselling guide and found it to be well-designed, practical (without being so full of pseudo-psychiatry that it felt fake.) The suggestions of topics that should be considered prompted some of the deepest discussions we had. We are both convinced that finding this resource was a blessing.
An excellent book for preparation for remarriage.......2001-12-13
As a divorced person, I have often felt like there are many books written about marriage, but few that deal with the specific issues that I can only imagine affect second marriages. Not content with reading just another book about the general subject of marriage, and not really wanting to read another book about divorce, I was very pleased to be given this book on remarriage. After reading through it, I feel so much more confident now about my ability to enter a second marriage and not be trapped by fears and insecurities that resulted from my first. I feel much more able now to look objectively at the areas I still need to heal and grow in. Praise God for the careful work of Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott in addressing this seldom-addressed issue. I HIGHLY recommend this for anyone who is divorced, even if they haven't yet addressed the possibility of remarriage in their life.
Book Description
The definitive guide to premarital counseling
This is the best premarital counseling guide I have seen in more than three decades in the family therapy and family life education fields.
-- William C. Nichols, editor, Contemporary Family Therapy
Following the success of the first two editions of this book, the authors updated their indispensable guide on the process and content of premarital counseling. In this revised edition, they have added important information about issues in the forefront today: remarriage, the blended or step-family, intergroup marriages, and younger and older couples. Filled with practical and effective hands-on questionnaires and instruments that have been newly revised and widely tested by the authors, this book is written to meet the needs of a range of professionals, including clergy and clinicians in social work, psychology, counseling, and marriage and family therapy.
Customer Reviews:
Good Resource.......2007-01-11
Overall, a good resourse for anyone interested in Premarital counseling. Where many resourses of this type focus on clergical counseling, this book is written from a counseling view rather than a clergical one. This is NOT a religious book, but traditional clergical counseling is not left out of the picture. This book is completely appropriate for both religious and secular counselors.
The book is divided into three sections:
- Foundations, which gives a history of premarital counseling, plus outlines some motivations for marriage and remarriage.
- The Counseling Process, which includes a plan for premarital therapy, including goal setting, dynamic relationship histories, family-of-origin studies, and an overview of available inventories and guidelines on how to use them.
- Special Topics, including: Remarriage and Stepparenting, Group Counseling, Communication, Valuse, Decision Making, and Finances, Intimacy and Sexuality, and special situations (very young and older first marriages, forced marriages, conflicted relationships).
Where appropriate, there are example figures and graphs, including example reports from inventories (Prepare) and techniques for use with premarital couples (two types of genograms and a dynamic relationship history).
The only issue I had with the book is that some of the references cited are quite dated, but some allowance should be made for accounting history. If you're using the book for academic purposes, make sure to check the publication year of the information cited, just to make sure it's applicable to your research.
useful, readable - and lacking 4 essential points.......2004-08-09
I have specialized in providing professional education and therapy to divorced, courting, and re/wedded couples since 1981. I am (a) 66, (b) a stepgrandson, stepson, and ex-stepfather and stepbrother, (c) an invited Board member of the Stepfamily Association of America, (d) a contributing editor to 'Your Stepfamily Online,' and (e) the author of six personal-growth and family-relations books.
I recommend this book to readers who want a well-organized overiew of the complex premarital and re/marital counseling process. I caution readers that the authors omit several essential points which cripples the utility of their book:
1) why and how to assess and reduce co-parents' psychological wounds from childhood (vs. divorce). The authors lay the groundwork for this, but don't guide readers on how to follow through;
2) the origin and impacts of blocked grief in adults and kids, and how to spot and reduce it. There is no entry for "grief" in the book's index;
3) co-parent unawareness of five key topics: (a) normal personality formation, composition, and function; (b) keys to high-nurturance families and relationships, (c) effective communication skills, (d) healthy 3-level grief, and (e) stepfamily realities, norms, implications, and hazards. And...
4) little effective re/marital and co-parenting help (i.e. courtship coaching, classes, informed counseling, co-parent support groups) available in most communities and the media.
In my clinical experience since 1981, these factors will often block the best-intentioned adults from following relevant re/marital and co-parenting advice. Counseling couples who are courting and re/married - specially any with existing kids - without including these factors in assessment and interventions can only be partially effective.
For more perspective on this review, see:
http://sfhelp.org/11/choose_bks.htm
A Comprehensive Guide.......2003-09-05
Every clergyperson and secular counselor who does premarital or remarital counseling should have this book. Stahmann and Hiebert have penned an incredibly comprehensive, yet accessible guide for both clergy and secular audiences.
The book begins with foundational issues such as reasons why people marry and beliefs couples tend to hold. The goals of premarital and remarital counseling are also discussed. Their brief introduction to the history of premarital counseling was interesting, though not especially helpful. Throughout the book, the authors summarize relevant findings from a large number of researchers.
This handbook covers all of the practical issues as well, from fees and number of sessions to the actual content of each session. Special emphasis is given to the couple's history together, exploring each family of origin and previous marriages (if any), and the use of premarital inventories. Among inventories, Stahmann and Hiebert review PREPARE, FOCCUS, and the Taylor-Johnson Temperament Analysis. PREPARE is used as the example for most of the book.
Several subjects are covered under "special topics." These include remarriage and stepparenting, specific marital skills, intimacy and sexuality, age-related factors, and problematic situations. The authors also consider the use of group counseling, although most of the book is written for someone counseling one couple at a time.
As a ministry student who realized that my formal seminary training would leave me unprepared for doing premarital counseling, I am grateful to have Stahmann & Hiebert's Premarital and Remarital Counseling. I recommend it along with Charles Taylor's Premarital Guidance and Anderson & Fite's Becoming Married to anyone in a similar situation.
Book jacket reviewer's comments:.......1999-05-30
"This book will save many thousands of marriages and will prevent many people from marrying an unsuitable partner. For couples and experts alike, all you ever need to know about preparation for marriage." Amitai Etzioni, author of The New Golden Rule: Community and Morality in a Democratic Society.
"This is the best premarital counseling guide I have seen in more than three decades. Skillfully constructed...it should not be 'on your shelf' but in your hands if you are a mental health professional or clergy member providing such assistance." William C. Nichols, Editor, Contemporary Family Therapy.
Book Description
Many pastors, counselors, and theologians consider this book the most helpful on the issue of marriage and divorce.
Customer Reviews:
Unsound Doctrine.......2006-03-27
I have read Jay Adams book and will make a full review later (I want to read John Murray's book first), but came across a review that I agree with. I will have more to critique than this reviewer does, but it is a good start.
Book Title: Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage In the Bible
Book Author: Dr. Jay E. Adams
Our Rating: Poor
Book Theme
Taking a concept-by-concept approach, Dr. Adams examines the fundamentals of marriage, then divorce, and ultimately, remarriage. Relying heavily on the Scriptures, Dr. Adams avoids using traditions as a basis for establishing the doctrines of matrimony and marriage dissolution.
Analysis of the Book
Reading this book and writing this review was a personal disappointment. Dr. Adams is one of my personal spiritual role models whom I hold in the highest regard. Sadly, this book fails to achieve a proper understanding of the nature of divorce and remarriage based upon a faulty interpretation of Scripture.
Dr. Adams does a genuinely thorough biblical evaluation of the question, "what is a marriage?" The principles of marriage as outlined by God in His Word are well documented. Additionally, the concept of engaged men and women in both the Old and New Testament being called "husbands" and "wives" is convincingly extracted and described from the Bible by Dr. Adams.
Even the bulk of Dr. Adams' treatment of the subject of divorce is keenly derived from the Scriptures. God certainly hates divorce and has established considerable warnings to men from initiating such proceedings. While controversial, this reviewer found that much of the chapter dealing with the "exception clauses" was consistently and properly handled.
With so much of the book being biblically acceptable, why is such a harsh disapproval applied to this book by the reviewer? Primarily because of a simple misinterpretation of one passage: 1Corinthians 7:25-28. Dr. Adams commits a fundamental exegetical fallacy (to borrow a term from D.A. Carson) by taking verses 27 and 28 out of context, interpreting them as stand alone verses, and then issuing sweeping doctrinal statements that contradict uncounted passages of scripture that state the opposite.
Simply stated, 1Corinthians 7:25-28 refers to virgins who are engaged to be married. Engaged virgins are properly referred to as "husbands and wives" in the New and Old Testaments. Verses 25-28 state that virgins may end their engagements and remain single, may marry each other as planned, or may end their engagements and marry other people--and all without sinning or without their actions being labeled "adultery".
If one were to remove verses 27 and 28 from their context of verses 25-28 and then interpret them, one might be tempted to believe that this was a blanket permission for all married people to get a divorce, then remarry other people, and be free of having committed any sins, including adultery. Such an outcome would directly contradict many Bible passages, but none so blatantly as Jesus' own words, "whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery" (Matthew 5:32b).
Having made a doctrinal left turn, the good work done earlier in the book is systematically dismantled by the author. Since the out-of-context interpretation of 1Corinthians 7:27,28 seemingly permits everyone who gets a divorce for any reason at all to be remarried without it being called a sin: all people can be divorced (without sin), all divorced people can be remarried to others (without sin), divorce loses all stigma, and Jesus was mistaken to teach that one who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. The outcome then, is that a divorce ends a marriage, all obligations of the marriage, and the person can claim to be free to remarry whomever they wish just as if they were a virgin.
Scripturally this is not appropriate. Jesus' words still stand, divorced people who remarry others are committing adultery, and it is engaged virgins who may break their commitments to marry without it being considered a sin. Proper biblical interpretation is critical to the development of sound doctrine, and regrettably this book does not meet that standard.
As a result of this error, the book becomes all but incomprehensible, lost in a maze of discussion about legitimate divorces and illegitimate divorces, all divorces ending a marriage thereby releasing all parties from all obligations of marriage-but maybe not all, reconciliation being preferred albeit optional as is remarriage, and so on. It becomes nearly impossible to determine who would ever be guilty of committing adultery by the act of remarriage, if in fact, anyone would be using this text. Such a conclusion to this study makes a complex subject even more difficult.
Conclusion
In spite of his track record of writing truly outstanding biblical treatises, this book is not up to the typical quality of Dr. Adams' other works. Though much of the book is indeed well developed from the Scriptures, a poor interpretation of one key passage causes Dr. Adams to draw numerous incorrect conclusions about the permanence of marriage and the permissibility of divorced persons to be remarried without incurring a label of adultery.
As a definitive work on divorce and remarriage, this book is best left on the shelf. If one were to read only for the sections on marriage there would be some benefit. Using this book as a basis for marital counseling would not be wise.
Biblical is Foundational.......2006-03-23
In this book Jay Adams addresses a topic that could not be more practical in the Church. Marriage, divorce, and remarriage are topics that have been debated and quarreled over since the inception of the Church, but especially so in the last 50 years with Feminism becoming what it has and postmodernity influencing the very framework by which people are thinking.
Dr. Adams does a great job of presenting the Biblical view on these issues; mind that Biblical does not mean just what is stereotypical of Christianity in conservative circles, it means the view is drawn directly from scripture without presuppositions to condition the way that one will interpret the Bible.
Essentially it is Biblical and it might be surprising for some evangelicals. It surprised me, but upon examining the text, it is, indeed, accurate.
Biblically the best answers.......2006-02-21
You already respect Jay Adams. This little book should be a brief but required course of study for any Bible-believing church leader or pastor. Too much damage is being caused in Christ's church by well-meaning but misinformed leaders. Read, study and even repent where necessary. Go after those branded second-class Christians who have been turned off and shelved. Reflect the Glory of a just and merciful Savior.
excellent summary; with one flaw.......2005-09-25
Competent to Counsel was epoch making for kicking off the Biblical Counseling movement, and his manual on church discipline is very good. But otherwise I find his writings sometimes a tad narrow. And I think he seems to fail to see the irony in the ways his own Biblical readings are shaped by psychology (esp. Behavorialism). The contemporary CCEF authors are better, I think.
But this book on marriage is about the best short summary of the key texts and applications I've found. The only major flaw: in chapter 1 (pp.8-20) he wisely asks what the most foundational purpose of marriage is. He rightly refutes certain cultural answers -- procreation, happiness, sex, etc. These are important but secondary. But then in the end he chooses an equally problematic answer -- marriage is primarily a 'covenant of companionship.' Doesn't Gen. 1-2 say that?
But, I wonder, if companionship is the foundation of marriage, then what if one partner is not being a loving companion? Can the other partner freely leave? Adams would say no, but he's being inconsistent. I think the Bible teaches in Gen. 1-2, read in light of Eph. 5, COl. 3, Rev. 21 etc., that marriage's primary purpose is to make us image bearers of God. Then Gen. 1-2 ('not good to be alone') is saying that a male-female couple together bear the image of God better than one person can alone.
Anyway, if you cut that section out, this is an excellent book.
a fresh wind of reason and sanity...........2005-07-09
Divorce and remarriage is not the unpardonable sin that our generation has made it into. Although divorce itself is not a sin (lest God Himself sin), it is, however, a result of sin. But like all other sins, it may be forgiven, and remarriage desirable. Here is the biblical proofs for those who care enough to look, with compassion and understanding of human fraility (say hello to David), and learn, that the church might restore and strengthen those hurt (by their own sin? yes, but hurt nonetheless), rather than the verbal stoning most often administered by the church. May God bring us back to sanity, and leave our latest "hot potato" behind, and move to the full understanding of the matter. Jay Adams, like Murray, has done us all a great service.
Even the "guilty" party may be forgiven by the Blood of Christ.
Divorce is not a sin; but is the result of sin. May the church stop stoning its hurting ones, who, like good and strong men (Peter, David, Jacob, and others) have been plagued with weakness, infirmity, and fraility, so that none could stand and boast before God, that they are anything but sinners saved by grace.
To read some of the legalists today, you would wonder if they, being so perfect, have any need for forgiveness. Take heed, you who condemn others, lest you fall as well.
Book Description
The breakup of her parents can turn a girl's world upside down. This third title in the Help! Series answers girls' letters on every aspect of divorce - from the initial split-up to a parent's remarriage - and encourages conversation with parents when it's needed most. The book includes tips and quizzes, plus advice from girls who have wisdom to share.
Customer Reviews:
This saved my child's dignity........2007-04-18
There is so much horror in divorce. It's bad enough from the adults' perspective, but as a child who is catching only bits and pieces of a larger picture, it can pull the rug out from under her feet. My six-year-old daughter clung to this book for weeks, reading and absorbing the honest information on the pages. She learned how to take care of herself emotionally, how not to get pulled into a needy parent's net, how to answer questions about her parents' divorce and how to accept her new circumstances and move on with grace and dignity. Now, a few years later, we still bring it out to deal with new issues and remember how to handle old ones.
A MUST HAVE FOR ALL GIRLS THAT ARE IN A DIVORCE SITUATION!!!.......2003-12-05
A wonderful book! It explains what and why girl's are feeling and thinking the way they do in a manner that is FAIR to all parties. It doesn't show bias to any individual (Mother/Father/Step Parent/Child). This book can help show a child that they are not alone and that it is normal to think and feel the way they do. It also explains when/how a parent is putting the child in the middle and how that shouldn't happen. And how a child plays both parents and shouldn't. The book stresses that the child should talk about their feelings with their parents. This book is a must have for any girl that has experienced divorce, whether it is happening now or happened 10 years ago.
HELP! Has helped much more than I ever thought........2003-03-11
After Separating, I realized things were becoming increasingly difficult for my daughter. I knew I needed help. So when I saw the title 'HELP!' I bought this book immediately. I have never been so impressed with a book. It asks the questions that kids have, but often are afraid (or unable) to ask and gives parents a way to answer - without too much information. HELP! assisted my daughter in breaking the silence with her therapist and to sort out some issues she had with her mother and me. It acts as a guidebook - informing children of some ways to speak up if they feel that their feelings are being squashed or if basic child/parent rules are being broken. HELP! even describes what some of those basic rules are. I'm actually purchasing one for my Ex-wife that she can read with our daughter. One of the best things that has come from this book is that my daughter now keeps a notebook and writes down questions for me in it, I respond to her and we bring those in to her therapists office. This approach lets us all know what important issues are on her mind, and how best to HELP! her through these difficult times. The best review though - I can't go more than a few days without being asked to read from the book.
Excellent Role Play.......2000-06-20
Being a stepmother of two beautiful children that came from a not so beautiful divorce, I was determined to help them understand the divorce and my role in their family. This was a wonderful book that allowed me to sit down with my stepdaughter and read the book together. The book is broken down into sections ranging all the way from feelings of divorce, mom and dad dating again, to acquring a stepmother or stepfather. Each chapter opened up with a fictional "letter to the editor" type letter written by a children asking for advice. My stepdaughter enjoyed reading the letters out loud and I would respond with reading the chapters out loud. I would end each chapter by asking her how she related and what her thoughts and feelings were. This book allows a great opportunity for stepparents to interact with their stepchildren and provides some clarification to the child as to what divorce is all about.
Book Description
"You must be willing to be a healed single person rather than an ever-grieving divorcee," says the author. This book answers the questions for those who "didn't want a divorce," but now have to face the reality of it.
Customer Reviews:
good Biblically based advice.......2005-01-01
I have read several books on this subject, and what distinguishes this one is a thorough discussion on the Biblical basis of divorce and remarriage. The book, written in the 70s, is somewhat dated in its references to society, but overall very helpful.
Putting Your Life Back Together After An Unwanted Divorce.......2000-05-31
Andre Bustanoby has put together a brief (165 pages) and excellent synopsis of the issues when a divorce is forced upon a spouse. Chapters 2 (Letting go of your spouse), 8 (Lonliness), &9 (Loving and respecting yourself) are especially helpful when the couple's children are older and on their own. This is not a technical book, it's a practical book. Those going through an unwanted divorce are telling me they benefitted from reading it. It's a great 'Open Door' for discussion when both the counselor and client have read it. The focus is on rescuing rather than excusing or blaming. I highly recommend this book to be a part of anyone's repertoir who has an interest in this subject.
Book Description
Nearly 60 percent of remarriages end in divorce. What can people do to beat the odds?
David and Lisa Frisbie share the fruits of more than 20 years of speaking, teaching, and counseling. Having talked to hundreds of couples, the authors use many real–life examples and speak with hope and humor about the challenges. They point to four key strategies to help bring long–term unity:
- forgive everyone, including yourself
- regard remarriage as permanent and irreversible
- use conflict to get better acquainted
- form a spiritual connection centered on serving God
With further step–by–step marriage–saving advice about forming a new family unit and helpful discussion questions, Happily Remarried makes a great how–to recipe for a successful, happy remarriage.
Customer Reviews:
An Invaluable Handbook for Marriage.......2007-09-21
I enjoyed reading this book. I have given several copies away and am happy I have. As a married man I feel that it has helped me in my marriage. It is inciteful and direct. I loved all the true stories and examples. These guys know what they're talking about!
Uplifting for anyone considering remarriage.......2007-08-27
With all of the marriages ending in divorce today, this book is timely and needed. Anyone considering remarriage needs to read this book! With time-tested, practical advice, David and Lisa show how to build a love and family that lasts.
Best Blended-Family Book I've Seen.......2007-03-26
Anyone thinking about remarriage hopes for the "happily" part. But is that a realistic expectation? Everything I read tells me that remarriages are breaking up faster than first marriages.
This book --- chock-full of real life stories and examples --- looks at why some remarriages "make it" and go the distance. There are examples here of 40- and even 50-year remarriages that are healthy, thriving, successful. I am not sure about remarrying (I'm divorced, and a single mom) but if I do, the principles in this book will definitely help me.
This is the best blended-family book I've seen.
Barbara Sheldon, M.S.W.
Currently reading: Surprised by Remarriage: A Guide to the Happily-Even-After
Thank you, Dr. and Mrs. Frisbie!.......2006-08-07
This book has touched my heart in so many ways. My dad's father walked out on grandma when my dad was five, and it impacted our family even through my teenage years. I grew up not really understanding why Daddy's heart was still hurting, and I didn't realize until my own marriage that I had inherited that same pain--a fear of being abandoned, divorced and rejected. Happily Remarried has given my husband and I the ammunition to destroy those fears, protect our marriage, and understand the hearts of those we love who have suffered through the pain of divorce. A HUGE thank you to David and Lisa for sharing their wealth of experience in this sensitive area! It is so beautifully written, I felt like they were in my living room, sharing iced tea and having a long heart-to-heart conversation. Bless you for writing this book.
Why My Stepkids Don't Like Me.......2006-07-24
It may not be good news, but it sure is helpful. This book is showing me why my stepkids still don't seem to like me, after 18 months of being married. I've read the chapter called "Who's The Boss?" two times and I need to read it again. I wish I had read this book before the wedding, but at least I am reading it now. I like the stories in this book; I can relate to most of them. Vicki and I are going to make it work, but it hasn't been easy. Her kids don't like me most of the time. Now I know why, and now I know what to do about it. So far, it seems to be working, too.
Customer Reviews:
Divorce and Remarriage in the Bible: The Social and Literary Context.......2007-07-03
I have gained greater understanding about divorce and remarriage in the Bible and I am better equipped to help those who are wounded by it. Mr. Brewer has done a wonderful job! I would recommend this book to pastors and other leaders in churches.
Scholarly and informative.......2006-06-30
David Instone-Brewer has done a service to the church with this text. Doing some other research on this topic, I was led to this book by Rick Walston's wonderful text, "Something Happened on the Way to Happily Ever After: A Biblical View of Marriage, Divorce & Remarriage." Walston and Instone-Brewer come to basically the same conclusions, but Walston indicates early on that his book is written at the popular level for, what he calls, "the normal everyday Christian." Yet, in his book, he suggests Instone-Brewer's text for further research. And, I'm glad he did. While Walston's book is good for the average Joe/Jane Christian, Instone-Brewer's book is for the avid student or scholar and a better scholarly text I have not found.
Exemplary Biblical Study.......2006-01-05
Everyone has been touched at some level by divorce, haven't they? And everyone has strong opinions about what the Bible's teaching, don't they? Over-wrought emotions and ill-formed opinions have no place in David Instone-Brewer's epic study. He offers readers a sensitive and sensible scholarly study that more than delivers on its promise to place the Bible's view of divorce and remarriage in its social and literary context.
Instone-Brewer's definitive work should serve scholars and students as a template of biblical study at its finest. Regretfully, many pursue but few attain the fluid mastery of linguistics, history, and literature (Biblical, Rabbinic, and patristic) that this author achieves. He begins with the ancient Near Eastern cultural context, and proceeds to discuss divorce and remarriage in the Pentateuch, Prophets, Inter-testamental period, Jesus, Paul, Church Fathers, Reformers, and marriage vows. His concluding pastoral advice is brief, to the point, and practical. Instone-Brewer presents alternative views before dispassionately evaluating their strengths and weaknesses. His carefully reasoned positions require consideration. Methodically he builds a compelling case that the Bible's consistent position is that divorce is an unfortunate consequence of a fallen world and is allowed for adultery, abandonment, and neglect. He develops this using a literal-grammatical-historical hermeneutic within a framework that highly regards the authority of the Bible. Each passage touching on divorce or remarriage receives an exegetical treatment that accounts for the lexical, grammatical, and historical features of the text.
Regardless of whether readers agree with Instone-Brewer, this is one of the most important and comprehensive works on divorce and remarriage to appear in print. Readers from all perspectives will be challenged by his fairness, clarity, thoughtfulness, and pastoral spirit on an issue that too often sparks censorious dogmatism that disregards the people to whom Moses, Hosea, Jeremiah, Jesus, and Paul addressed their words.
Because divorce is so prevalent, my copy is on loan. I may need a couple more copies so that I always have a copy readily available.
Finally, Instone-Brewer has a web site: www.Instone-Brewer.com. It has links to useful background material.
Clarifies some the long misunderstood teaching of Jesus about divorce.......2005-12-16
My first impression of this book was it would be written by a liberal religious scholar trying to encourage divorce, but I thought , "Eh, why not? Let's see what he has to say." So I bought the book, and I'm glad I did.
Instone-Brewer organizes his book chronologically, discussing marriage in the ancient Middle East, ancient Hebrew culture (as defined in the Torah ), the Jewish Diaspora outside of Israel, and Greco-Roman culture. He discusses the teachings of Jesus and Paul related to divorcee, some of the "fathers" of the Christian Church (and why a lot of them are wrong in regards to divorce). He closes with his own pastoral advice about divorce.
If you buy this book, you will learn about various topics in addition to the main topic. I definitely learned more about ancient Hebrew customs, marriage customs in the Middle East, and the controversy about the "any matter" divorce between different Jewish sects during Jesus' time.
Instone-Brewer's discussion of God divorcing Israel and Judah and how God's covenant with Israel was like a marriage contract in the ancient Middle East was really eye-opening and gave me a new perspective with which to view some of the prophetic books.
Extreme religious conservatives will probably not like the conclusion : that Jesus and Paul allowed for divorce on valid grounds, and discouraged it even on valid grounds. They urged the couple to repent. But if the guilty party wouldn't repent, then the innocent party has the right to divorce.
Divorce and Remarriage in the Bible--Challenging and Rewarding.......2005-09-26
Instone-Brewer begins his treatise with basic assumptions, but these are well informed assumptions. For too long Christianity has ignored the thoroughly Jewish context of Jesus and his teaching, insisting that we read the Bible through a Hellenized world view. This is patently false, and fatal to a proper understanding of the Bible. This is not only true in regard to the Marriage and Divorce issue, but the eschatology and other dogmas as well.
Instone-Brewer's book will definitely challenge your traditions, but, when read carefully and thoughfully, this book will open your eyes to a greater and more proper understanding of Divorce and Remarriage as taught by Jesus. For too long Christians have been bound by a "grace-less" and legalistic view of God's view of Divorce and Remarriage. While this book does not seek to give license, it does seek to demonstrate God's grace in Christ. Very highly recommended!
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Study Guide for Lamanna/Riedmann's Marriages & Families: Making Choices in a Diverse Society, 9th
The Marriage and Families Activities Workbook
The Developing Person Through Childhood and Adolescence
The Developing Person Through the Life Span
Portrait of a Family: Telecourse Guide Southern California Consortium
Marriages & Families Now (Stand Alone Version) for Lamanna/Riedmann's Marriages & Families: Making Choices in a Diverse Society, 9th
